Page 44 August 23, 2013
DAN’S PAPERS
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Almanac (Cont’d from previous page) especially around the high school, but sea levels will be normal on the East End all that day. On September 27, there will be hailstones as big as puppies. September 28 will be a good to day to begin harvesting grapes. The harvest comes late because of the drizzles, but it means the wine is really good, unless some dunderhead winemaker has it all picked early. Rainfall above average in September. OCTOBER A huge tsunami forms in the Atlantic Ocean on October 3, after a piece of the island of La Gomera in the Canaries chain slides down and into the sea. Warnings are issued for the East End of Long Island. But a big ocean liner, trying desperately to get out of the tsunami’s way, sails in front of it at 30 knots, and barely escapes without harm. However the ship’s wake causes the tsunami to change direction and it hits Cape Cod, though pretty petered out. The wave is just seven feet. No big deal. October 10-14, when the Hamptons International Film Festival comes to town, the weather will be warm and sunny on the East End. Not a cloud in the sky. All is well. Good time for the squash harvest is October 18-19. Heavy rain and thunderstorms on October 21. Clocks are turned back that night, but nothing happens, it’s the wrong date. Temperature of the ocean begins to decline in the last half of the month instead of the first half because of global warming. Height of the Striped Bass surfcasting season is October 22. Biggest waves at Ditch Plains, 12 feet, arrive
October 24. Cold front moves through October 27 and stays in place through October 29, but then it warms up, so nobody needs coats or mittens on Halloween night, and no kid catches cold. All in all, temperatures are a bit above average in October. nOVEMBER Best time for goat breeding is the first week of November. Best weekend to watch fall colors upstate is November 8–11, but be back by November 12 for the arrival of a last gasp, wayward and lost small hurricane so you can break out the beer and watch it try to hit Bridgehampton. This hurricane is only a Category 1 Hurricane, however, so it bounces off the dunes and heads back the other way. Balmy weather through November 15, then the first snowfall comes on Thanksgiving Day. Sinkholes appear throughout Florida in the second half of November. Numerous buildings sucked down. Scientists blame it on a rising water table. On November 18, people on the North Fork of Long Island are warned to look out for sinkholes, but none occur and the moment passes. DECEMBER Bitter cold winter snowstorm hits the East End on December 5. Fourteen inches of snowfall. Goats stop breeding. Power goes out for an hour. Governor Cuomo himself is out in one of the LIPA trucks. December 9 should be the last day you gather up tomatoes to avoid
the first freeze, which will come on December 10, very, very late this year. Meteor heading for earth, should hit Hampton Bays in early January, NASA says. Snow flurries on December 16. Above average temperatures. Second big snowstorm hits the East End December 22, then a third on December 23. Total snowfall five feet. But the power stays on and everybody goes sleigh riding. JAnUARy No records kept for January. Everyone’s away. But meteor doesn’t hit Hampton Bays on January 3 as it’s supposed to, it hits three miles out in the ocean. NASA apologizes for what they say was a mathematical error. FEBRUARy Unusual winter twister hits the ocean beach in Wainscott on February 2, heads west down the beach to Mecox during the next hour, and along the way sucks sand valued at $20 million up into its funnel and out to sea, leaving the beach naked of sand for the rest of the winter. On February 14 the sun sets over the ocean for the first time and a hissing sound is heard throughout the Hamptons. Weather sticky and warm on February 21 through 22. Stay indoors. It turns cold again on February 24. You’ll catch the sniffles on February 27. A lot of window rattling from a northeast wind on February 28. Build a fire, but watch out for blowbacks. (Continued on page 48)