Dan’s Papers July 1, 2011 danshamptons.com Page 191
+$33$12 THE OLD GRIND Dear Stacy, I can’t thank you enough for your listing of our Children’s Hands On Milling event. We’ve taught many kids this summer so far about the workings of the mill. Thank You. Just a note: August 1 will be the last Hands On Milling for the season. This is because our Quilt Show starts set up on the following Monday. Thank You, Ann Lombardo Media helper at Water Mill Museum Thank you for teaching kids where it all began! –SD RE: CULTIVATING A NEGLECTED AREA Dear Jeanelle, I am, along with so many others, a devoted reader of your always interesting column, The View from the Garden. Here is my question: I recently cleared out an area above my driveway that was, like so many back areas of properties, just covered with leaves and weeds – lots of trees (so not much sun) no irrigation etc. I am wondering what I can do to this area – what can I plant to make it a bit more attractive. What do I need to do to get it ready for some sort of vegetation? I am in the Northwest Woods so I think there is a lot of sand and clay in the soil and I don’t think it has ever been cultivated. It is probably about 150’ by 50’ so it is manageable for me to do whatever needs to be done. Any suggestions? Thanks for your help. Richard Kurtz Richard, it is difficult for me to make suggestions without seeing the area you have cleaned out. Please feel free to call me and we can talk. 631-434-5067 –JM PENNER AGAINER Dear Dan, There is an alternative to the Demopublican – Republicrat tweedledee tweedledumb two party monopoly, “Name Calling: Old Labels Don’t Work Anymore, At Least for Democrats” (Dan Rattiner – June 16). Why not consider the libertarian alternative. Libertarians cherish both economic and civil liberties. They believe what consenting adults consume, inhale, perform, read or view in the privacy of their own home or private social club isn’t the concern of government. Individual civil and economic liberties prosper best when government stays out of both the bedroom and marketplace. Libertarians would give a real voice to Tea Party movement supporters who advocate returning to limited government accompanied by a minimal amount of confiscatory taxation to support only essential service along with Pay as Go budgeting; means testing for all government assistance programs; abolishment of all member item pork barrel spending; balanced budgets; actual surpluses and down payments to reduce long term debt. Sincerely, Larry Penner Great Neck
I’ve been thinking about Libertarian Values lately and think this is a good idea. –DR AIR DOWN – DRIVE ON Dear Dan, You didn’t mention in your article if you had let air out of your tires before you drove on the beach that day. I also have been driving on the beach in Southampton for 30 years and I have noticed that the main reason people get stuck is that they don’t “air down” before they drive on. Airing down creates more surface area on your tires effectively making them fatter and less likely to get bogged down as they go through soft sand. I air down to about 15psi and have never had a problem. So keep a tire gauge in your car and use a screw-on air release tool, which you can buy in most automotive stores and give it a try. I think you’ll find it a smoother and easier ride. Also the parking lot by the heli-pad on Meadow Lane has air pumps to fill up your tires when you come off the beach. It only takes a few minutes. Happy beaching! All the best, Bill Frankenbach, Jr. I was air downed to 23 pounds. It just never entered my mind to air down to 15 to get the hell out of there. All Lewin’s fault. –DR CLIMBING Dear Dan, I want to follow up regarding my email sent on June 10. I actually think, that forwarding it to your son might be a great idea. I recently read, that Lion is a gym enthusiast and
Forma Training 100 might help him in climbing his boat’s mast if he has to do it again. I don’t expect any story in the paper, but I really think he might enjoy the training method, which is completely new and gaining popularity. Well, if he wants to write a story about his experience, I wouldn’t object. Regards, Christof Prus 3-D Fitness, Gym Design Bronx GOING TO GRACELAND Dear Dan, I loved Richard Lewin’s article on Paul Simon, “Still Crazy . . .” It basically summed up my sentiments about Montauk “after all these years.” But the most amazing part was the fact that back in the late ‘80s when we first bought our “little bit of paradise” out here that I would put my “Graceland” tape in player as I got on 27. Opening the sunroof and screaming the lyrics as loud as I could, I was psyched as I headed east towards “My Graceland!” I was surprised that I never got pulled over for erratic driving. Today as I look out on my deck on the most gorgeous evening of the year, sun setting on calm crystal waters, one continues to be inspired by “the good, easy vibe.” Yes, Paul I “get it” too! Barb V. Allen Montauk Montauk is magic. Always will be. –DR
POLICE BLOTTER Call The Police! A woman in Amagansett reported that $20 worth of copper piping was stolen from her outdoor shower. Not The Boss A man called police on his co-worker for bossing him around too much. In the police report it stated that the two men were co-workers and that an argument ensued that came close to violence after one man began to boss the other man around. Police arrived and separated the men, who both agreed to stay away from one another. The incident took place in East Hampton Village. Neither man has gotten a promotion since the incident took place. Shelter Island In response to the recent surge in popularity of New York City hipsters visiting Shelter Island, Old Man McGumbus, 98 and former World War II gasoline transporter, decided that he would infiltrate the hipster menace by posing as a hipster himself, or as Old Man McGumbus likes to call them, “hippies.” McGumbus took off, for the first time in over 50 years, his customary outfit of old cowboy boots, Levi’s jeans, a black t-shirt and a cowboy hat. He replaced his outfit with the standard hippie uniform, a Beatles t-shirt, converse shoes, skinny jeans and Ray Ban sunglasses. McGumbus then attempted to infiltrate the hippie headquarters on Shelter Island, the Shelter Island Coffee House. After four days of being embedded
with the enemy, McGumbus was arrested after he and a hippie got into a fight over what’s a better movie, Star Wars or The Return of the Jedi. After putting the hippie in a standard U.S. Army headlock and applying several blows to the face, McGumbus was arrested. And in what seemed to be a complete insult to McGumbus, the hippie victim now wears Levi’s jeans, cowboy boots, a black t-shirt and a cowboy hat on a daily basis. After being released on his own recognizance, Old Man McGumbus is lobbying the Shelter Island Town Board to make it illegal for hippies to appear in public. He was quoted at the last board meeting, “THIS IS AMERICA, THIS ISN’T A GOD DAMN CIRCUS! THIS IS AMERICA!” Dumpster Fire A large dumpster caught fire in Montauk. There were no injuries and the fire was safely put out. The dumpster was filled with dead fish, which smelled much better after they were cooked to high hell. This Is Not Funny A Quiogue teen was killed just hours after he graduated from high school. His 17-year old friend was driving the car and was completely intoxicated, lost control of the car and smashed it into a parked BMW. If you get behind the wheel of your car while drunk, you are taking a very serious risk with your life. These stories happen too often. Don’t drink and drive. –David Lion Rattiner