DAN’S PAPERS
Page 58 June 29, 2012
START HERE
If you don’t start here, then you’re not
1.
danshamptons.com
VULGARIANS See Page 97
5.
really starting where you’re supposed to start.
7.
FAT
a. Can Fat Power the Earth on it’s Voyage Around the Sun? b. Does a bear s--t in the woods? c. Does a tree fall in a forest and nobody hears it? d. Does Excederin get rid of headaches?
SOUTHAMPTON COLONY
Today, the WASPS are... a. b. c. d.
Peligoing extinct learning how to relax being the same as they always were moving in swarms
See Page 91
Italians, Turks, Canadians, Vulgarians and Russians. Where is Vulgar anyway?
2.
backing up
to get to Sag Harbor BackingitUp, Because wasIdling therein Neutral, Going Into Park,hePeeling downthe the Because wantedoff to hear street leaving smoke from the tires. joke Seego Page 93 to watch tv to home holes are full length and how many are pitch and putt?
VILLAGE TICKETS LAG
*See Page 99
The police in Southampton Village aren’t giving out enough parking tickets. It’s serious. Indeed, the facts are grim. Two years ago, they gave out 3,843 traffic tickets. Last year, the number was 2,455. The revenue also dropped, from $592,175 to $437,000, according to the Southampton Press. What’s happening? Some say with the economy in a slump, motorists are being more careful. Not breaking the law. But others wonder if the police are getting lax. If a car is parked one inch over the line, they give them the inch. Walk away.
8.
WHICH OF THESE BIRDS ARE RAPTORS? See Page 101
a. Eagle b. Osprey c. Canary d. Turkey
Maybe there’s something the motorists can 6. do. Deliberately park wrong? Drive sloppier? It’s for a good cause.
-- DR
3.
JULY 4TH
See Page 93
July 4th, the Ides of March, Thanksgiving, Christmas, President’s Day and this past June 23.
4.
southampton poet See Page 125
What does “Andrr” mean?
See Page 173
6
a. It’s a Bonacker nickname for Andrew. b. It’s Albanian for “the dream.” c. It’s a new app that turns lap dogs into furry antroids. d. If we have to tell you, you’re too young to know.
9.
HOLIDAYS IN JUNE YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT
29 Camera Day 29 Hug Holiday 29 Waffle Iron Day 30 Meteor Day
Find events on the Danshamptons.com Calendar
laureate, billy collins