DAN'S PAPERS, May 22, 2009 Page 68 www.danshamptons.com
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By Dan Rattiner Week of May 24 – 30, 2009 Riders this week: 18,029 Rider miles this week: 131,765 DOWN IN THE TUBE Author Jay McInerney was seen on the Sag Harbor platform about to get on the subway to Bridgehampton, but then, after looking at his watch, changed his mind and strode quickly to the escalator and up out onto Main Street. PRINTER RELEASES 5,000 BOOKS Many copies of the souvenir book, One Year on the Hampton Subway, which was to be given away to the first 1,000 passengers, beginning January 1, have been released from the printer’s warehouse in Patchogue after successful negotiations with that firm by our commissioner, Bill Aspinall. Only 1,000 copies were supposed to be printed. But due to a clerical error made in our office while preparing the printing order, 100,000 got printed. When we pointed out the error, the printer, Angel Printing, refused to let any of the books out of the warehouse until we paid for them. Now, Angel has agreed to release 5,000 copies, provided we sell them to the general public. If we can sell 5,000 and turn the proceeds over to him, he will release the next 5,000. As you read this, the book is available for sale for $18.44 at the four Bookhampton stores (Amagansett, Sag Harbor, East Hampton and Southampton), at the Omni at Southampton, at Dan’s Papers in Bridgehampton and by email at danshamptons.com. One Year on the Hampton Subway is filled
with the wonderful happenings on the subway during the year 2008. Who can forget when Gladys “The Voice of the Hampton Subway” Gooding so spectacularly died on the Hampton Bays platform? Remember when the giant raccoon got stuck in the air vent? Or when a horse got loose in the tunnel between Bridgehampton and Sag Harbor? How about the time Commissioner Aspinall got put on death row? He was the only person in America ever sentenced to death for embezzlement, a high honor indeed. Or how about the subway races at 3 o’clock in the morning? It’s all there. All yours for a piddling $18.44 plus tax. SUGGESTION BOX STILL MISSING Several people have noticed that riding the subway has become a bit more boring than before. To whomever stole our suggestion box — please return it. It contained new ideas, we think. COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE Dan Rattiner, the executive editor of Dan’s Papers, was sent by me to attend the annual dinner for the Shelter Island Bridge and Tunnel Authority in my place last Saturday night inasmuch as I am stuck here in the Bahamas. Somebody coughed and they shut down the airport, I am told. I offer regrets to Bloom, the president for life of SIBTA. Since Rattiner’s return from that dinner, he has briefed me by long distance phone. He had bought One Year on
the Hampton Subway to sell at the dinner. Nobody bought any. On another matter, we have had a problem once again with Chef LaTrek Toulouse, the temperamental factotum who supervises the kitchen in our dining car with his restaurant Le Somielle, of Paris, France, to whom we gave a one-year lease. He was out on the platform in Southampton once again, hitting customers with his feared wooden spoon, cursing and spitting in some foreign language that I do not understand. Apparently, one of the vegetables was overcooked or something. This is the second time this has happened and we can’t have this. The first time it was frappe of peas that he smeared on the straphangers, this time it was truffled mashed potatoes. I will have a talk with him. Our souvenir book One Year on the Hampton Subway is now out. It chronicles the riots, escalators gone berserk, explosions, boxing matches, subway car races and the 90 pound raccoon that ate an environmentalist during the attempt to remove her from the subway air vent in Hampton Bays. We all remember that. It is on sale in all four Bookhampton Book Stores (Amagansett, East Hampton, Sag Harbor and Southampton). It can also be bought either online at danshamptons.com, over the counter at Dan’s Papers or by calling 631-537-0500. The cost is $18.48 plus tax, grand total $20.
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