DAN'S PAPERS, March 19, 2010 Page 24 www.danshamptons.com
Twentysomething…By David Lion Rattiner
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where Leonardo takes the girl down to a thirdclass Irish party. When you see a shamrock, you think, “God, shamrocks are amazing.” When you see an old man with a beard and rosy cheeks drinking whiskey out of a flask with a big smile on his face you think, “Grandpa?” And when you see hot blonde girls running around in green outfits you think, “Is there any other way to live?” I believe that people of Italian heritage go through this more frequently than the Irish. Whenever I see my Italian friends, even if they’re just 5% Italian and 95% Chinese, if “The Sopranos” is having a marathon, they can’t help but talk about their cousins, sisters and grandmother who was married to a guy who worked for the mafia and the amazing fresh pasta that he used to make. Pride is a powerful thing. When you’re a mix of many different nationalities, like me, you embrace “being American” because it’s all of the different cultures that makes us a really, really f—ing strong country. Being a mix is as American as it gets—there’s just no denying that. But on St. Patty’s day, I get to feel my Irish
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pride. There’s just one big problem with embracing your Irishness when you’re half Jewish. “I could get a stomachache from all that Guinness.” Yep, my Jewish paranoia doesn’t go away, no matter how much of my Irish side takes over on St. Patty’s day. I’ll watch the parade with great Irish pride for 10 minutes and then I’ll think to myself, “I should write a movie about St. Patty’s Day and then try and sell it to an agent in Los Angeles.” I’ll see a group of green bead necklaces being thrown at young kids with bright Irish eyes and remind myself that one day, I’ll have a kid with Irish eyes and smile to myself. Then I’ll think, “One of these kids could choke on those beads if they’re not careful.” Being Jewish and Irish on St. Patty’s is a wild mix of pure, blind happiness combined with guilt about being so happy. Something MUST be wrong if I’m having this much fun right? No David! It’s St. Patty’s Day! Embrace your Irish side and enjoy your rich culture! Hit the bars and buy your Guinness and be merry! But maybe buy a six-pack at the grocery store first, it’s much cheaper that way and you’ll be saving in the long run… In the mean time, I will purchase the one and only true item that speaks to my mutty mix of Irish and Jewish decent, a green bagel with cream cheese. I love St. Patty’s day in Montauk.
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©Ronald J. Krowne Photography 2008
Being Half Irish on St. Patty’s Day Being half Irish and half Jewish on St. Patty’s day has advantages and its disadvantages. On the one hand, when the parades happen, you feel a sense of pride and a desire to drink Guinness. You also feel like getting rowdy, listening to Irish music, and pretending that your life is like that scene in Titanic