Chelsea Now

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TRUMP continued from p. 25

when sexually assaulting women. In case that doesn’t sound awful enough, please note a male peacock’s favorite toy is a ball formed of its own dung, which it rolls around with its beak. That is a well-documented science fact you may feel free to look up. Trump went on at length about how, as embarrassed as he might be by the exposure of his “locker-room talk,” ISIS was “drowning people in steel cages” and beheading them. I get that. Next to such atrocities, I guess bragging about sexual assault you maybe didn’t even do but just said to impress Billy Bush seems like small potatoes. After that, Trump was fully unhinged. Any hold Kellyanne Conway had over Trump failed, be it traditional debate prep, drug-enhanced hypnosis, or remote control genital shock harness. Trump lumbered around stage like a per diem extra waiting for his scene on the set of “The Walking Dead.” He alternately caressed, groped, fondled, throttled and supported his girth on his chair. He reprised his Top Ten Sniffs and pointed repeatedly at the ceiling as if signaling the Mothership. He loomed behind Clinton like the muscle in a cheap-ass,

Photo via hillaryclinton.com

Hillary Clinton smiles, knowing the presidency is her get out of jail free card.

direct-to-video mobster movie. And then, this: “If I win,” said Trump, “I am going to instruct my attorney general to get a special prosecutor to look into your situation.” Clinton responded it was good a man with Trump’s temperament wasn’t in charge of the law. Trump responded, “Because you’d be in jail.”

All the investigations. All the committee hearings. You may not always approve of Clinton’s actions, but she has never been charged with a crime, let alone found guilty of one. If Trump wins, he’ll use the power of the presidency to open a new investigation, one where the verdict is predetermined, and he will put her in jail. Only a man with no knowledge of

history, no clue as to how our government or laws actually function could say such a thing. That kind of talk is reserved for buffoons who dream of being crowned king, for slighted pre-teens nursing grudges in their mildewed basement bedrooms. That’s not leadership, that’s perverse, twisted fantasy. That’s locker-room talk.

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October 13 - 20, 2016

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