Are You The Red Flag

BY DANIELLE ANENE

It is quite easy to call people out when they show signs of toxicity in a relationship; we are quick to name these signs and build a case against them; sometimes we even go so far as to cut them off or break up with them if we are in an intimate relationship with them. If you frequently find yourself in a toxic situation, you should conduct an introspective check to ensure that you are not the red flag or signs reflecting it. This edition will concentrate on some toxic traits to watch out for in yourself to ensure you are not the one with the red flag.

Gaslighting

Do you try to deflect, manipulate information, trivialise an issue that is important to your partner, or make the other person feel bad for inquiring about a situation about which they are unsure? If you feel the need to be right all of the time, even when there are clear indications that you are wrong, you may be suffering from gaslighting. What this does for your partner or the recipient is an unwarranted assault on their sense of self and self-worth, which destroys trust and calls their grasp on reality into question. You can avoid this by putting yourself in their shoes, admitting your error, and then attempting to reach an amicable agreement.

Threatening To Split

If you suggest a breakup at every turn of disagreement, this is an emotional way of getting your way or shutting down your partner's stand on issues concerning both of you, and it is not a healthy trait to have. These threats will only make your partner more docile or cause them to lose trust in your relationship. This could also lead to less intimacy and closure in your relationship, which is a quick way to a downward spiral. Rather than suggesting it, resist the urge and allow yourself to calm down and envision a peaceful resolution to the situation.

Passing The Blame

If you ever find yourself blaming everyone else and not taking any responsibility for your own actions, you must accept that you may be contributing to the problem. Playing the blame game will only harm your relationship; instead, accept responsibility for your actions and work to improve your character; this is what will improve your relationship once you begin acting correctly.

Controlling Behavior

When you're in a relationship, you have to listen to your partner as well because they're an equal part of the equation. Trying to impose your will on them is a clear indication that you need to work on your need for control. They are also humans with equal needs and desires, so practising compromise is the healthy way of working things out with your partner.

Not Respecting Boundaries

Understanding that your partner will have different activities and interests than you do gives you and your partner the opportunity for individual growth and development. It also removes resentment and allows you to respect their personal boundaries while maintaining your own.

Isolation

This is a classic red flag, and if you find yourself encouraging your partner to disconnect from friends and family, or even enforcing the separation and having their world revolve around you, you should be aware that in this case, you may be the toxic one in the relationship. Retracing your steps and becoming a better partner would imply encouraging them to have a life outside of you and giving them the freedom to discuss those relationships with you. The list goes on and on, but the point of this article is to help you reflect on your personality to ensure that you are free of toxic traits.