10 MONTHS 4 DAYS

21 February

It has been a very long and often frustrating wait for Marge and me. Next Sunday Maria will finally receive her braces. Marge called Alan this morning and he said they will be ready Sunday. What wonderful news for Maria! He will send in the immigration letter and we will go up to his house in Whittier. Marge has been floating around the kitchen all day, preparing for Christina, Lulu, and Mario’s visit for dinner tonight. Mario and Lulu have been here before and Christina many times. They are wonderful, warm friends.

I made a quick trip to #35 to give the news to Maria. She was delighted, relieved, thankful, and any other words to describe her happiness. No tears but deep breaths.” I told Magie not to worry and to have faith. I have been waiting 7 years for new braces. I knew that someday… and you too, David, you worry too much about me.” How can we not worry, you are like a daughter? I explained our schedule to her. “I will be ready when you come, I will bring another dress and my “ pintura.”, (cosmetics).” You are always ready for all your appointments. The boys were very happy to hear their mother’s news. Please, Maria, do not fall this week. Be careful. “Oh no, I will not fall, I will be careful.” And, do not go out in the back to wash! Your eye and cuts are all healed.” It was very muddy when I went back to wash that day. I was trying to carry the water jug and slipped. Not only did I have the cuts and bruised eyes, but I was covered with mud all and alone. I cried for dona Emilia and she came to help me. My dress, my hair, everything, was muddy. The 119

broken end of one brace stuck in the mud and down I went. “I had to fight back my tears. Maria’s life sounds like a survival course. “I have to be strong, my boys need me. I have that responsibility.” Some day those two boys will take the best care of their mother. They have a great love and respect for her. I see it on their faces.

I told Maria about the dentist and his wish that she call hirn. She is doubtful about his sincerity as am I. “I cannot get anywhere with the government. No help or answers. “We need this man’s help desperately. Will you be able to get someone to watch the boys this weekend? ‘Oh yes, that is not a problem.”With new braces, a visit with Meg and Dak, and two nights at her Rancho Bernado home; Maria will have happy dreams this week.

“I get so lonely sometimes and miss you and Maggie.” You may call us, Maria. Please call.

It has been a funfilled busy Saturday. While Marge prepared for our visitors from Mariano. I made a quick trip to give Maria the news.

Mario, Lulu, and Christina arrived shortly before seven pm. They decided not to stay the night because of the predicted rain. The three have been here before and this time was no different. These people and their families are among our very favorites. Christina’s English is good, Mario’s is slightly less, and Lulu has none. It made no difference last night nor any other time. Drinks were served and conversation was plentiful. They are as interested in us and our customs as we are in theirs. We talked about government living conditions, buying food and clothing in the US instead of Mexico. We talked about their children and ours. Their youngest girl is finishing high school in August and would like to come up to San Diego and live with a family for several months in order to learn English. We will research that subject. Montserrat is a fine, ambitious young lady. She will begin her studies in January, eventually hoping to become an orthodontist. Can you believe 120

that? Her sister, Berenice, took her graduate studies entrance exam this past week. She will be working toward a master’s in chemistry and biology. I can believe it, these are two smart girls.

Mario spent much of the time in the kitchen, picking Marge’s brain on the tricks of the culinary art. He is very interested in cooking, and, in fact, teaches cooking part-time. He mixed the drinks and cooked the baby-back pork ribs. He also is a classical music fan and a student of the French Impressionist. No “macho” this man, just a fine family man. Lulu jokes and laughs about her lack of cooking skills. “Mario jokes that I cannot heat the water for coffee.” Lulu nevertheless, is a well-educated professional nurse. She plans on having her own business as a practical nurse. Lulu is in her early forties and can retire soon after reaching 25 years at the hospital. Her mother, Christina, likewise will retire in two years from the factory. Then she will start her own home business. For this reason, Christina is busy fixing her home. She has one of the best-decorated homes in the community. “David, would you please take a picture of the dinner table, I want to show it to my class? Also, a photo of the beautiful birthday cake Marge made.” As usual, the table was arranged to perfection. Barbequed pork ribs, baked rice, cabbage cole slaw, homemade cheese bread, and raw vegetables rounded out the menu. Again, Mario was there to serve the dry white wine. Towel on the arm and all! Later the beautiful flower decor as whipped cream cake was served with coffee. The men did not retire to the drawing-room for cigars and brandy as was the custom in past ages. Instead, we all enjoyed the brandy together.

The conversations would have gone on for hours except that Christina was growing tired after her very long day. She awoke at 4:30 am to go to the plant. She had to face that terrible one-mile walk in the water and mud from her house to the “curva”, the bend in the paved road at Mother Teresa’s church. Everyone must make 121

that walk these days. The buses and taxis cannot get through the mess. When Christina arrived late for work, her supervisor wanted to deduct her pay. Fortunately, the other boss said, “ no, no, not in this weather to punish the workers’’. Christina’s intelligence and personality have lent her to a job in the plant office. Her knowledge of English helped also. After four hours of great company, our friends left for Mariano. The rest of that beautiful cake and several bags of oranges and grapefruit accompanied them on their trip back. Did I mention the purpose of all this fun and entertainment? Christina celebrated her birthday on February 11. Not a world event as world events go but we made a big deal out of her special day and felt that their lives were made a little bit better for one day.

Our next big event will be Saturday when Maria comes up for her visit and braces. When we see that little Indian girl from Guadalajara taking her first steps on those new braces, a long journey will come to an end. Though our journal is approaching one hundred pages we will continue Maria’s story. Her life is too fascinating and inspirational not to put it in writing. Then, Marge and I, Maria, Manuel, and Javier, will begin another quest, the biggest of their lives.

2 March

Saturday came and went and still no braces. Our unreliable friends at Bi-national did not send us the INS letter. As a result, Maria could not enter the country. Marge called Alan and he will come down next Sunday with the braces.???? After all the anticipation of Maria’s trip up and meeting Meg and Dak. We both were down in the dumps. I’m sure that Maria was deeply disappointed also. So, when Marge suggested that we go down Sunday and take Maria to lunch, I jumped at the suggestion. Marge called our good friend Luz Maria and told her the story. Luz gladly 122

will tell Maria the plans. Late Saturday night Maria called us. She was confused by all these changes. I told her to put on a pretty new dress and be ready Sunday at noon. “Are we going over to the other side for lunch? “No, my friend, this time you will read the menu for Magie and me.

As usual, Maria was ready and waiting when we arrived. She was wearing the pretty red dress the boys gave her for her birthday. She had a sad look on her face and when I asked what was the matter, she showed me a 12” long piece of metal. It was part of one of the braces. Not only had it snapped off but the knee joint was broken. How much longer does this lady have to wait? She was sitting on her bed, willing to proceed but doubtful that she could manage. Wait. I ran to the car and brought a roll of duct tape back. We taped those guys round and round and off we went to our luncheon. Our dentist had told us about a good restaurant near the bull ring. I did not get lost but could not find the place. At the very point of returning Marge found it. During the ride, Maria was very quiet. She was looking at colonias she had never seen before. Beautiful houses rimming the hilltops. Marge was impressed also. I had to watch the road. Everything is very green in Tijuana. El Nino saw to that.

As we approached the restaurant I saw several flights of stairs and no ramps. No such thing as a disability law in Mexico. I called a few of the waiters for help and they gladly carried Maria to the main floor. We wheeled over to a table looking out at the pool and settled in for an enjoyable afternoon. Maria was terribly ashamed because she had to be helped in such away. Her dark face was actually flushed.” I am so embarrassed, David, I want to hide my face. No, no, Maria, please, it is ok, the men were happy to help. Look how much attention we are receiving. Here you are with two “ important gringos’’, at a fancy restaurant. She overcame her shame and quickly became her usual confident self. We ordered 123

drinks, chatted as always, and took in the scenery about us. The feeling was similar to that of Seaport Village, quiet, few patrons, and much conversation.” David, you look so elegant, long trousers, dress shoes, and a new shirt, right?” Yes, and I gave all the credit to Magie. Our friends in Mexico seldom see me without shorts and sneaks. This was a big deal for Maria. “ Magie, you look so elegant also, are your clothes new also? “No, several years old but welltaken care.” I also have clothes many years old and I take good care of them. “ How true! Both ladies are alike in many ways and have bonded into a warm solid relationship.

“I have not called the dentist yet because of the rain and mud in front of my room. I could not leave. This week I will call him. “We’ll see, I have doubts about this. Maybe??? He has seen her life, how can he not do something?

“David, your last visit to my room I did not invite you to visit. I was worried that you may be angry with me. Josefina was in the room and I did not want to talk in front of her. She is very nosey and even asks for fruit and food. I keep telling her that these things are for my boys. You were not mad at me?” Of course not.

On February 10, Josefina was in Maria’s room when Marge and l arrived. It was an uncomfortable situation with her there and the three of us trying to talk about Maria’s business. She remained so we cut short our visit.

Now, in the quiet of the restaurant. Maria revealed the story behind Josefina’s visits. It nearly drove Marge out of the restaurant. “Josefina’s son goes to school with Manuel. She has five other older children. Josefina’s god is money. The subject is always on her mind and tongue. Her husband earns $300 each week and they own 5 houses in Tijuana in southern Mexico. $300 per week is a huge income in Mexico. Yet, she has never offered to help our family. I will not ask for help. “Where does her husband work? For government, right?” Yes, that’s true. “ They know how you live 124

and have never offered help with securing your lot? “ Never.” It is beyond our comprehension that people who have so much refuse to help those with so little. And then have the nerve to beg from Maria! Our Mexican friends still wonder why we maintain our strong friendships while their own well-off countrymen ignore their plight. I believe that our friend John had the best answer for this situation; “ I presume God is going to straighten all of this out eventually’. “ Marge decided that the next time we encounter Josefina at Maria’s room we will take her for a walk around the neighborhood. Our conversations are very important to Maria, but Marge feels that escaping that room is equally important.

The restaurant specializes in Poblano-style food. We all ordered fish and it was very good. The owner, Roberto, was extremely cordial and sent us a dish of nopales (cactus) type salad, on the house, and later, a cream, coconut, Kahlua after-dinner drink. It was too sweet for Marge and me and Maria could not drink it because of the alcohol. The service continued to be excellent Roberto told us that his son runs their LaJolla restaurant. We will be sure to look him up.

The restaurant was beginning to get busy and yet we were in no hurry to leave. The three of us were enjoying the day and our conversation. I could tell that Maria was feeling quite important. Her very first time in such a fancy restaurant in Mexico with two important-looking Americans. (Her choice of words). We felt the same in her company.

We finally left before it was time for dinner. A few hours away from that dark, cold room did Maria well. Can you imagine being in that room five days a week without a break? During the rainy season, even the door cannot be opened.” Please, David and Magie, visit me every two weeks. I get so lonely when I do not talk with you. “We shall, Maria, that is a promise. Those two rascals of hers were waiting when we arrived at the room. They get silly and show 125

off when we are there. As we were leaving, Marge hugged Maria so long that Manuel began to giggle. Two women hugging. After I kissed her goodbye, Manuel went over and kissed her also. Do you love your mother, Manuel? “Yes, I do.” We love her also, very much.

Sunday, March 8.

Our main destination today was Patricia’s house in El Lago to celebrate her birthday. Since Marge’s birthday is March fifth and Patricia’s is March seventeenth, we have celebrated together for the past several years.

Our first event on Sunday was to meet Alan at Ihop at 9:00 am. We waited almost two hours before acknowledging that he was not coming with the braces. Shades of Felix! We were both in tears as we gave Maria the news. “Please, Magie, do not feel bad. It is alright, I can wait for more. This is life. You have brought me so much, I can wait.” Her attitude strengthened us. She was dressed and wearing pretty blue stockings. Any disappointment she may have had was hidden. She was more concerned about our feelings. I told Maria about our date with Patricia and she urged us not to be late. With little hope in my voice, I told her that I would call Alan and try to find out the problem. It was a sad short ride from Maria’s room to Patricia’s apartment.

Marge had fixed a lovely luncheon for the birthday lady and her kids. Only Christian was not home; working at Samsung. He was at the airport but got caught in a preelectian cut-back. He hopes to return after the election. We piled up the three flights with fresh roasted sliced turkey, salad greens, potato salad, homemade rolls, wine, peanuts, and, of course, the homemade chocolate cake.

Patricia has been dieting and already has lost ten kilos, twentytwo pounds. We have been encouraging her in this project.

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However, today my friend, forget the diet. Tomorrow at Sony you can go back to salads, yogurt, and water. She gave us no argument.

Patricia’s children have grown so much in the years we have known them. Christian, the eldest is a serious wonderful young man; his mother’s biggest supporter. Luis Enrique, the easy-going romantic of the family, still struggling to over come to his lifelong physical affliction. Luis is studying English, accounting, and computers. He is a charmer. Jorge, the business-oriented one, has been working in a local supermarket, learning all aspects of the business. At present, he is learning how to be a butcher. Most of the markets in Tijuana still cut their own meat and wrap it in the old style of white paper. No fancy machines here to cut everything square and wrap it in plastic. During the summer of 1990, while finishing the Carter project, Jorge used to come over and help the volunteers every Saturday. I met him then and never realized our friendship would amount to what it has. Paty showed great promise at an early age but is now a confused and very troubled young lady. A very sad situation that has taken a heavy toll on the family.

The adults shared the wine while the children drank soda. We all snacked on peanuts and chips and had lots of laughs. Hopefully, it kept Patricia’s mind from her problems for a few hours. As usual, the food was a big hit with all and the cake soon took center stage. Afterward, we watched a movie Jorge brought home, “Liar, liar.” It was in English with Spanish subtitles. Silly but fun for all. We love Patricia and her family. We know her mother and father, grandmother and uncle. She remains a major jewel in our crown of Mexican friends.

It had been a long day, both happy and disappointing. It was almost dark when we reached the Otay border. Maria had left her spot between the cars.

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March 12

Marge’s bothersome toothache brought us to Tijuana again today. Dr. Jorge did some adjusting on her bridge and sent her across the street to another specialist for further consultation. Dr. Rocio Pizzaro, is perhaps thirty years old, very pretty, and speaks perfect English. Marge was very impressed with her knowledge and professional manner. She has another appointment in April.

During our friendship with Maria, we met several highly educated, personable professionals. Some portray little or no interest in the lives of our less fortunate friends in Mariano and elsewhere. Others react with great interest and just as quickly lose that intensity. Any hint of assistance from either of us goes ignored. We need their help but receive none.

After Marge’s dental business was taken care of we took the airport road back and stopped at #35 Guillermo Prieto. Maria welcomed our company, and since it was a warm sunny day, we took our chat outside. “Oh, Magie, I am happy about your visit. I have nothing to do now, later I will wash my hair. Tomorrow Manuel will take me to the “ linea “ for the day. After school, the boys will come and bring me home. “ We will not stay too long if you have things to do. “No, no, let us visit as long as you wish.” I barely mentioned the braces or rather the lack of the braces. What more can we say? ‘’l have been sick, last night and this morning. My stomach is very upset.” What happened, my friend? “Last night I ate “frijoles caldo”, (these are pinto beans cooked in water) and I have been bothered since. “ I remembered this same thing that happened several months ago. Mexicans love beans and they make up a large part of the diet. Maria’s diet is so limited and she just could not help herself. We both scolded her in a nice way. Marge then suggested that she eat saltines today and tomorrow and drink coke. Marge wanted to buy her some cola but she ref used the offer.”I have some apple juice, is that ok? “ Yes, apple juice will do 128

the trick. Later I thought, the poor lady has such a very limited diet as it is and must stay away from tortillas, because of their fat content, and now the beans. Marge is very faithful in bringing Maria salad greens, chicken breasts when on sale, and other treats, and I bring down donated fruits when in season. Na vel oranges and tangerines are in season now and I have been loading up Maria’s family with these. Sunday I will bring you more fruit before we visit “ La doctora ‘, another good friend from Mariano. Please call the dentist about your lot. “Yes, I promise to call him. “

March 15

The Ides of March may have been unlucky for Caesar but for Marge and me it was a beautiful sunny day traveling south again. We had an invitation for lunch with another special family. Maria had already left for the border when we swung by #35 so I left several bags of fruit in the old car that sits in her drive. I’ve mentioned before that the car belongs to her neighbor and acts as security for her room since her doer offers no protection.

Maria Elena Nava, “la doctora”, and her family have moved since we last visited. She now lives in an older, urban area, with paved streets and sidewalks. For seven years they suffered from the muddy streets and clamor of Mariano Matamoros. Her two daughters and their families also left the area. I spoke of “doctora’’ before; she had studied for the medical profession until the money was not there for her to continue. She is retired and her daughter Diana and her husband live with her in a very nice very bright house about the same size as the Carter house. They are happy there and it is a safer, better neighborhood. His other daughter, named Maria Elena also, lives close by with her three kids and husband. Maria Elena was busy in the kitchen when we arrived, preparing the luncheon. The two girls are very intelligent and 129

understand English quite well. Maria can speak a little English and the others none. Even though I lack a great deal in my Spanish, we are still able to have good conversations and share many laughs and ideas with our friends and build on our friendships. To sit at their table and share their food and ideas is a wonderful experience for both Marge and me.

I had met “doctora” and Maria Elena several years ago when Habitat was building fifty homes in Matamoros Norte. Maria’s little girl, Jaqueline, only a baby at the time, was having problems with her feet. We helped her get up to Shriners and fortunately, it was a situation that she outgrew. Shriners has been a wonderful conduit for the kids receiving help and for us meeting more families.

We brought our usual wine and salted peanuts and talked about her new house and how convenient it was to the stores and major roads. They are very close to the road called, “Gato Bronco,” which goes west toward Otay Mesa, near Maria’s neighborhood. It is also a direct route from Mariano to Otay. Maria Elena soon served us our lunch and then the others. She remembered from our last visit that we do not like to eat alone. Some of our friends try to serve us first and then eat later. Maria had prepared a very tasty meal; roasted smoked pork, mashed potatoes, salads, green olives, corn, and flour tortillas.

The high point of the meal was the desert. Maria Elena made, or rather was making a Lenten specialty when we arrived. It consisted of small slices of toasted bread, a raw sugar sauce, raisins, nuts, prunes, dates, and maybe more. I’ve lost track. She baked the whole mixture and served it warm. It was excellent. lt was a very nice visit for all of us. Diana watched her sister the whole time she was preparing the meal. Diana is 21 years old, seems much younger, and yet is very intelligent. The two girls and Alejandro are studying for their high school diploma. A home study type of course. Since the three ladies have passports, we have invited them to come to RB 130

for a weekend. I wondered about Lucio, Maria’s husband, and if he would allow her to make the trip. She assured us that there would be no problem. At that time I suppose Diana will watch Marge do her magic in the kitchen. It was late afternoon when we said our goodbyes and headed back to the border.

Saturday. 21 March.

While waiting for Alan and the braces we have been working on the pictorial brochure that will accompany our request letter. The letter has been ready for several weeks, and the brochure is still in the planning stage. I knew that a picture of Maria at the “ linea” was a must. How we will accomplish this task was another thing. Driving past Maria would not work and one cannot stop in the line of cars. Dave’s phone call pushed me to a decision. He called to tell us that the graphic design department head at Chapman will do all the artwork necessary for the brochure. Gratis! We must have that photo of Maria. I decided to drive to Otay, park on the US side, and walk over to where Maria sits between the cars. She had told me that she did not like this idea; too embarrassing for her. I convinced her that it was absolutely necessary to have the photo. She relented. I saw her head tip to the side when she spotted me walking toward the wheelchair. Her picture day had arrived. I took several shots and hoped that one would turn out well. After chatting with her for a few minutes, I could see she was embarrassed by my presence, I hurried back to SD and a quick photoshop. The photography gods were on our side this day, the shots turned out great! We had our perfect picture of Maria at the linea, complete with a beautiful smile, a paper cup for donations, and her trademark umbrella.

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