HER FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY

“When is mommy coming back?” Manuel did not appear overly worried. He just wanted to make sure. Don’t worry, we will be returning Sunday at mid-day. That’s all we need to hear. We bought some treats (bribes) for the boys to smooth the way; apples, pudding, and back licorice. They will stay the night at dona Emilia’s. Maria gave them their instructions and a few warnings and we were off to the border. We met some vendors and they greeted Maria as usual. I talked with some of the men, kidding about Maria being almost American after so many trips to the US. Afterward, she cautioned me that they were “groceros”, not very nice men. I cannot remember, some of the men are gentlemen and others are not. She lets me know each trip though. INS was amiable again; something is very wrong at this office. Twice now they have been cordial.

Joe Guth, greeted us warmly and he and his assistant Maria, proceed to measure and draw the outline of Maria’s leg. I mentioned before that the one brace cannot be used. Tony, the technician, must start from the beginning on that brace. He will do the work gratis on the weekend. A weekend very soon Joe promised me. We must encourage Tony with photos of Maria and her room and the old beds. Joe took pictures also. A case of beer if needed. Afterward, Joe took me up to his truck where he had an almost new wheelchair for Maria. This is a $1000 model at least. She was delighted. Well padded and even with the safety belt. Are there laws in Mexico requiring seat belts on wheelchairs? What a laugh! If some American politicians hear about that we will have all kinds of regulations. Also, Joe had a pair of ortho shoes for Maria. White, they look like ice-skating boots. She could not wear them long as 87

they are very stiff. I have a pile of shoe parts that Joe gave us. Perhaps Maria can barter with her local shoe market and he can stretch them. It is very evident that Joe likes Maria. He has done much over the years helping young people both for pay and gratis. From the very first visit, there has been a not a hint of any costs.

Since it was already late afternoon, we decided to go back to RB and not do any lunch. Lunch is very exciting for Maria, and she was going to have a lot of excitement for the next two days.

On our trip back from the orthotist, Maria told us about the rainy day when we both had to cancel her lunch on a date. Marge and I had already decided not to make this trip down. It was a terrible day. “Thursday was a very bad day for me. While washing dishes I slipped and fell and broke one of my ceramic cups. I cut my hand quite badly and went to a nearby clinic. I told Manuel to call Megie but not to tell her that I was hurt. I didn’t want to worry you both. I didn’t need stitches, it was more blood loss than anything. Manuel remembered that our neighbor, Luz Maria, speaks English and so she called. “

Soon after Maria fell asleep until we reached RB. “I didn’t sleep well last night. I was very excited about my trip to your house and celebrating my birthday. This will be my first birthday party.” I do not think she saw our faces; we were both on the verge of tears. She was not complaining, just saying a sad fact about her life. We both know she is overjoyed with the approaching event. Maria gave no argument about taking a rest in the room about so many of our Mexican friends have used over the years. For an hour or so we heard her moving about the bedroom. Everyone in a while we would call out to her, “yes, I am ok.” I went for a new wheelchair as she left the room. The chair will be much easier for her to get around. “The reason I took so long was that I was reading the story you wrote about me. I like it very much.” I was very anxious to ask her if the story has emotion, and feelings. “Yes, it has much 88

emotion.” Maria knows how we feel about her. Nevertheless, I wanted to put into her language what we think of Maria. This will be another of her gifts.

We ate out on the patio, tuna sandwiches, salad, and mint candy for a desert. She is a very light eater and continues to maintain her weight. No more tortillas. While Marge was picking up the dishes, Maria and I took a stroll around the block. She played with the flashlight and we talked about the quietness of the area and the various wildlife that still visit here. A silver fox, coyotes, quail, rabbits, hawks, raccoons, and even the mountain lion visited our area last summer. Marge was on the phone with Meg when we returned. Meg and Maria both wanted to talk to each other. Neither understands the other, yet they had fun on the phone. Later we drifted into the TV room and she watched a little of her “novela”, soap opera.

Her soap opera is like a dream world; everyone is rich, beautiful, and lives in elegant homes in Mexico City. She thinks we are rich! At nine she was fading rapidly. It has been a long time with little sleep. I assured her that the birds would not be screaming tonight. On the last visit, they nearly drove her crazy.

This morning Marge and I were up long before Maria woke. When she did, it took ages for her to come out and join us. I remarked to Marge that this was a part of her vacation; sleep late; rise slowly and take as much time as she needed. To be in a room alone and quiet is a rich treat for her. She is savoring these treats to the ultimate degree. We made a big deal when she rolled down the hallway. The queen is coming. How pretty she looks. As usual, the hand went up to the side of her face. She loves the attention. Why not? Never had any in her whole life. We sat out on the patio, while she had a coffee and toast. I outlined our schedule for the day. A visit with the neighbor, Jane, and another with Diane, who has been very good to Maria. Return around 3 to prepare for the 89

evening. Maria said she needs 2 hours to get ready. She will use every minute of that 2 hours.

Meanwhile, we chatted. Does dona Emilia have an oven? “Yes, why?” When your turkey comes it will need a place to roast. Last year Maria and the boys went to her friend’s house for Christmas. She has since moved far away. “I am sure we will all go over to dona Emilia’s for Christmas.

I suggested Maria reverse her mattresses each month to save on the wearing. “Yes, David, I am already doing that. I take good care of my mattresses. “I know you do my friend. I felt so silly telling her that. We find that Maria is becoming more and more alert about everything. She is a very responsive lady.

Did you sleep well last night, it was quiet? “Last night, I didn’t sleep well. I was worried about my boys and the parakeets. Will they behave for Emilia? My birds, will they have enough food and water? Sometimes the boys forget to feed them. Every morning, Jose Luis, the oldest, stands in the doorway of his cage and calls me. “Wha hoo, wha hoo, “ he calls. That is his way of saying, hola (hello). Later, in the early morning, I slept very well. This morning I am not worried about them. They will be ok. “The boys probably were having fun doing little devilish pranks out of mother’s sight.

Maria and I did our rounds of visiting and came back in time for her to have those two hours of preparations. Marge was still readying the evening dinner. She has been very busy the entire week. A lot of work but she loves to entertain. Meg calls her mother “Martha Stewart “, Prisciliana calls her a “romantic”, and Maria calls her, “ the administrator.” They, all three of them, are very correct. Jim and Jane came before Maria reappeared on the party scene. When Maria made her entrance, rolling into our midsts, we all made a big fuss over her and called her the “queen” and the “star “. Jane and Jim hugged and kissed her; they love this lady as we do. Drinks were served on the patio and the toasting began. 90

Maria drank mango tea. Then the gifts were presented to her. It was a scene that brought tears of happiness to our eyes. This lady was celebrating her first birthday in 33 years! A beautiful purse and dusting powder from Jane and Jim. Blue pillowcases and sheets for the family’s new beds from the four of us. We gave her fancy soaps and sunglasses. The big gift of the evening was the donation of $2000 toward her lot. This coming from a charitable foundation. I had written her a note explaining this gift and that our church will safeguard it until she is ready. The birthday lady was mystified at the number of zeros. “It is not $20. Is it $200?” No, Maria, it is $2000. She slowly realized the amount. She was at a loss for words. Later. she will fully understand the amount; more than fifteen thousand pesos. A year’s wages for many people.

Maria’s favorite cook did a wonderful job on the meal. chargrilled London Broil, fruit and nut molded gelatin salad, green bean, mushroom casserole, marinated cauliflower, red peppers, and French cheese bread. Whipped cream and strawberry iced angel food cake decorated with a large rose from our garden. Traditional birthday candles topped the cake. The cake was served on a crystal pedestal plate; a wedding gift to Marge’s parents, 68 years ago! Maria immediately noticed the plate and remarked that it must be an antique. Though poor, Maria has fine taste. All birthday cakes were served on this plate at Marge’s childhood home on Ravenwood Ave. Happy memories for her. With all the fun and festivities I forgot to take any pictures. Nevertheless, Maria will cherish these days in her heart. So very many first experiences for her. Marge and I are happy to be with Maria and be a part of her life. “You and Magie have changed my life. I have many new friends now and you are my family.”

Tomorrow morning would you like to meet Fr. Lloyd at our church? He is the one who first arranged for Maria’s St. Vincent dePaul appointment. Fr. Lloyd will also hold the donations to 91

Maria’s house.”Yes, I would like very much to meet’ el padre’.” We will leave for the church at 9:45 am to greet him after the mass. “ I will be ready.”

Jim and Jane had left and Maria was getting tired. It was very late for her. “I am going to sleep now. Magie, may I borrow some of your face lotion? My skin is very dry because of the sun.” She rolled down the hall and hopped up on her bed. As she was removing those sad broken braces, we both hugged her and wished her a good sleep. Another night of quiet rest and privacy. This in itself must be a birthday gift to Maria.

It was a struggle but we made it to church on time. We waited until last before meeting Fr. Lloyd. I hardly had time to introduce him when he grasped her hands and blessed her in Spanish. She talked with him briefly and was very humbled that this important American priest would bother with a poor Indian girl. Maria does not know, but on the other hand, she may know, that most of the world’s great holy people have been exactly like herself. It was a good meeting and a necessary one.

Maria often refers to herself as “Indian’’, in a somewhat negative sense. Less attractive, poor, lower class. Her father was Indian while her mother was more Spanish-looking; tall and light complexion. Marge and I are dissuading her of that idea. She may be poor in worldly goods but nothing else.

Our next stop was at Boney’s market. This was indeed a first for Maria. Everyone in southern California knows of this fruit and vegetable oasis.” Magie, please hold this money for me and help me buy vegetables. Jaime and your neighbor Jane each gave me $20. One I will spend and the other is for my lot.” She was Cinderella at the ball. Her chair spun this way for lettuce and spun that way for broccoli. Snap green beans, potatoes, garlic, apples, celery, cucumbers, on and on she went. It was another party; another birthday. It really was! Marge was sending her back with a large 92

package of chicken breasts and the balance of the cake. Maria’s bill; $14. She was delighted. Lest we forget, she bought I pound of wild birdseed for her four parakeets. Cheaper here than in Tijuana. “Magie, please take this $1 and buy me more seed the next time.” Ok, that’s 2 pounds.

Maria wore her sunglasses all day Sunday. She knows one of our favorite pictures of her is at Seaport Village. In her chair, back to the water, with sunglasses. We call her the movie queen. This day, however, she left the label on the lens. Maria, remove that label. “No, no, these are my new glasses.” I need not go into that “ new “ business again. She is consistent.

At #35, the boys were literally bursting with anticipation. They could hardly wait until their mother came into the room. Marge told me to hurry before Maria came. When she entered they kissed their mother and presented her with a bouquet of flowers and a large gift applied box. She was very surprised. Tears were very close to the surface. For Marge and I also. With money from dona Emilia, the two had bought a beautiful dress. I don’t know how they selected it, but it was perfect. Before I left Friday, I gave Manuel some money for flowers. But the dress, what a wonderful gift for their favorite lady in the world!

Needless to say, Jose Luis was upset at Maria. Not a word from him. The three others were happy and chirping. I have a strong feeling he does not like these two gringos. Why do they keep taking Maria away?

Before we left #35, we went over to #34 and met Luz Maria Gomez. It was she who called us on that rainy, cut-hand day last week. A lovely lady, newly married, and perfect at both languages. Like Marge, she is an “ama de casa”, a home lover. She said that she would relay any messages at any time to the family. Maria Luz is such a lovely lady, why not be a friend to her.”I am very embarrassed

93

to visit her in my room. After I have my house then I will invite her over.” We cannot fault her for that.

Don’t forget, my friend, Friday, Sobrina and her husband are visiting with you. We will arrive in the late afternoon; at 4.:00. “I will be waiting for you. Then Sobrina will see the beautiful purse she gave me. “ The usual hugs and kisses and we were off.

Fr. Bruno was not at the church. The receptionist said he was in the hospital with leg problems. We sent him our prayers and hoped he would be back by our next visit.

94