NEW BEDS. NEW PAINT

Four simple words. Yet, they signify a day full of fun excitement, and new experiences. Early Thursday morning Marge prepared the lunch and I got the painting materials ready. We arrived a little late at #35 Guillermo Prieto. (Maria’s street). Already she was nervous about our delay. She and the boys had prepared the room for painting. I told her that the beds were being delivered between 3-5. How excited she was. She had never slept on a new bed. I was amazed at the condition of the old beds. The springs were almost non-existent. They were very old when she received them 6 years ago. The painting went very quickly. Her room is less than 100 square feet.

Then we began the part that she likes the best, chatting, or “platicando”. She is literally starved for adult friendship. The subjects range from food and drink to her trip to Tijuana. Their needs are few and simple. Drinking water costs her $1.00 for 5 liters. Since she has no running water, all the dishes are cleaned in the galvanized tub with hose water. She washes in the same tub. The boys use the neighbor’s hose for clothing and their baths. Her propane tank costs $20.00 to fill every 3 months. They usually eat breakfast early and then their main meal before the boys go off to school at 12.55. On any given day her refrigerator would contain 4-5 potatoes, a tomato, 2 kilos of tortillas, maybe 1/4 kilo of meat, milk, and two oranges. Occasionally, Bill Plum, a San Diego Shriner, will bring her a package of chicken. She does not like to eat in the evenings; her stomach. This is definitely a problem. She has told us several times about her eating habits, and no soda, coffee, tea, etc...I don’t go into this with her at this time. Her twisted polio ravaged

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body and two Caesareans in three years have taken their toll. Her reward has been great, two beautiful, well-mannered boys!

Marge’s lunch was a huge hit with all. Egg salad and tuna salad sandwiches, potato chips, and stuffed green olives. And, Coca Cola. The egg and tuna salads were a first for all three. Manuel ate like there was no tomorrow. Javi smiled and ate in silence. Maria savored every bite of food. The few leftovers will be gone tomorrow. After our lunch Marge gave Maria her Easter treats; a real Easter basket, her first, with chocolates, marshmallow peeps, and a stuffed Easter bunny. A beautifully braided loaf of bread and a ten-pound cooked ham completed her gifts. Most of the attention was centered on the candy. I gave orders to all three, “you may look but no eating until Sunday. “Agreeing, Maria repeated my instructions. They did plenty of looking to be sure. The last “treat” went to Manuel; two cans of vegetables, corn, and green beans. His mother told us that he does not like vegetables. What a sour face he made. We all laughed. How healthy the kids look! Yet, their diet is so limited. Carbos.

On the trip down that day, we wondered if the boys had received their First Holy Communion. To our surprise, Maria mentioned that Manuel will receive his in May. Full of excitement we promised to come to the event. Then Maria asked if we would be Manuel’s godparents. I said, yes, of course. It will be an honor. Maria said it would be their honor. So, we argued about who will be honored the most. How quickly and strongly we have bonded with these wonderful people! I suspect another party will be in the plans. Once again Maria said that our visits were more important to her than anything we might bring. Our friends in Mariano share this feeling also. Friendships mean more to these people than the “treats” we gather for them.

Maria shared with us another part of her amazing life. She had lived in Mexicali, a large city some 100 miles east of San Diego, for 14

some years. Why she left we do not know. She traveled west on a bus with the boys, with no money or prospects. While on the trip she was befriended by a lady also going to Tijuana. After hearing Maria’s story, she gave her money to buy food and promised to help them.

This is the friend who arranged for the family to stay in the little room at #35. Poor Maria, her friend of six years just recently moved far to the south to Chiapas. Her only close friend in Tijuana.

Lest I forget, Maria, with the help of Manuel, wrote a beautifully worded thankyou note to our lady friend; the one who donated these soon to arrive beds. I translated it and will send it to her.

After several hours of chatting, we needed a break. Marge and I and the boys walked to a nearby market. Many of these neighborhood stores sell just about everything. Many also serve as post offices. For a fee, they will receive your mail. When letters arrive a list of names is posted. We sought other goodies; ice cream. A rare treat. You have seen in our supermarkets the length of the ice cream display. In Tijuana, ice cream occupies a tiny frozen food box. The boys made their choice; we made ours, Marge picked a dixie cup for Maria, and off we went to the little house. It was getting late. The beds would soon arrive. No sooner had the ice cream disappeared than we heard the big truck pull up. The two men were in and out of the room with the frames and box springs and mattresses. In nothing flat, bunk beds and a twin bed appeared. It was like the Night Before Christmas except the kids watched as Santa’s helpers did their work. The boys and Maria stared in disbelief. The beds were overwhelming. Before they could pounce on the beds, I said, “wait, please wait.” I ran out to the car and brought in the mattress covers Marge had bought the past week. Wrapped in plastic, Manuel thought they were pillows. They have no pillows. I have seen pillows in Mexico but never mattress covers! We all helped with the covers and sheets and then the boys 15

swung into the bunks. Up and down in and out. Maria looked at hers with uncertainty; Marge remarked that perhaps it was too high for her. I asked Maria. Her answer was to hop up on her bed.

Today was also picture day. Old beds, new beds, outside the house, inside the room. Maria on the old beds, Maria on the new beds. Most of all, Maria. We have finally captured the beautiful Umbrella Lady on film!

April 8.

Was an exciting day for us; Marge received a call from the Vincent dePaul organization. Maria’s first appointment is scheduled for 25 April. We can hardly wait to bring her the news! I think we will be going down to see her on 15 April. During our last few visits, she has not mentioned the appointment, possibly thinking it will not be happening. I have found that many of our Mexican friends do not eagerly anticipate coming events. Could it be that because they have so little they dare not hope for a better life?

The” bad day” pictures turned out very well. Soon our friends will be able to see for themselves the object of all our writings. The pictures of her house will emphasize very clearly her plight. Her son’s energy is barely contained in the photos.

Our dear friend Christina visited us this weekend; 12/13 April. She is so much fun to have as a guest! She has returned to night school again; Studying English. Three nights each week she goes to the university from her workplace. Arriving back at Mariano at 8:30 is a tough day. She is determined to learn English. She is doing very well. A great grandmother at that! Married at 15, Christina has done a wonderful job raising three girls and a boy. They are well educated and their children are going to college. One is nearly a doctor; Another will receive her masters in biology and chemistry this summer. These are the people who will change the face of 16

Mexico. The only preaching I have done these past eight years has been; Stay in school, and learn English. The more school you have the more money you earn. Christine’s family does not need the sermon. Sadly, many others do.

I asked Christina if she would entertain Maria some Sunday in May. She readily agreed. Maria’s world is so confined, this will be a huge treat for her, and the two of us also. Christina is a wonderful hostess and she will love Maria as we do.

More on Tuesday.

Tuesday

Our first stop on the way to bring Maria her good news was to visit her nearby church. It is a very high building and serves as a landmark for our travels in the area. We hoped to find out when the First Communion was scheduled. No luck, the pastor was out until late in the afternoon. We will see him again since there are other things to talk about.

The boys were just leaving for school; scrubbed and pressed and hair slicked with one of their mother’s lotions. Have I mentioned before how impressive it is to see the school children going and coming from school? The people do wonders with their laundry: washers and dryers are still very scarce. Maria was happy to see me; immediately asked where Margarita was. “She’s coming, she’s coming right now.” Maria has formed a strong bond with Marge. She just loves to chat with her and seems never to lack for questions. Her world is opening, the mind is filing this info. This is an intelligent lady, she retains everything. I must correct a previous observation, Maria can read! Thank God! Better still, thank the wonderful nuns who taught her while she was interred for those early years of her life. No one ever came to visit her, yet she made the best of her days. Sadly, she cannot write. As I said before, she 17

composed a beautiful thank you note to the lady who bought the beds. How she loves those beds! She told us that she washed the sheets and has covered the mattresses and box springs completely.” I will take good care of these beds, they are so wonderful. “We know, Maria, don’t worry.

Manuel’s First Communion? Delayed until next year. He did not learn his prayers, the Credo mainly. Father said, sorry. This is not uncommon among many of our friends. Karina was 15 when she received hers. Maria is upset with him; not a good position for Manuel.

Maria was delighted with the news of her first medical appointment. 25 April, her first visit to the US. “I will wash my best dress, my hair, and fix my face.” We joke with Maria about “painting “ her face. I will take more pictures that day. I said to Maria, “wait til your friends at the border see you passing by that day. They all will be saying, ‘who is that beautiful Mexican lady entering the US? ‘It looks like Maria. Yes, where is she going? ‘” We had a good laugh at that. Marge told her not to eat that morning, we will go to MacDonalds. A Big Mac, what a treat, for her. The Otay Mesa MacD is the nicest, cleanest MacD we have seen.

Some time ago I read in our paper about a new program in Tijuana, government-run, to aid the poorest of the people by allowing them to buy tortillas and milk much cheaper. Maria was very interested and will call OIF to get the details. Maria’s earnings at the border each weekend put her easily in that class. $30 does not go very far even in that country.

She thanked us again for the Easter gifts. The candy eggs were delicious and the ham lasted one whole week! I would venture that ham was more meat than she had seen at one time in her entire life.

“May I call you sometime when I get sad and very lonely?” Of course, said Marge. But call after 6 so David will be home. “Sometimes I dream of my American friends and the next day I 18

feel much better.”She goes to bed at 8 and rises at 6. The boys are hungry and she fixes their breakfast. Most of nighttime tv is so violent and she will not allow the boys to watch. She reads aloud to them from the bible.

I told her that Christina would be happy to entertain her in Mariano Matamoros. Some Sunday in May, ok, Maria? Yes, and may I go without the boys? Our sentiments exactly. She needs a break from the kids. Sra. Emilia, her neighbor will care for the boys.

Remember your name and birthdate, amiga.

More good news that day! The INS and doctor’s letters came.

April 25 First Visit. First Impressions.

Maria’s day to cross the border had arrived. She was ready and waiting when we arrived at #35. She was wearing her favorite blue dress. All of her dresses are ankle length. She hides her legs whenever possible.

There were few cars waiting to enter at this time of day and as we approached the gate Maria saw many of her friends plying their wares to the entering cars. They called out to her and wished her well. Apparently, she had told them of her trip to the US. It was a heart war mindsight. Several are crippled like she, and others work for a company that sells all those tourist items. As we neared the INS agent, Maria became very nervous. She was so frightened that she would be denied entrance. We were sent to secondary and then went into the office for more paperwork. Because of a minor error in one of the letters, we were threatened with a denial of the entrance. As we pleaded with the man, Maria knew something was wrong. She became even more upset and literally shook with fear. Finally, after we were duly impressed with his authority, we were allowed to pass.

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No sooner had we entered the US than the questions started. “Where are we now? How far is it to downtown? What beautiful houses, how green everything is. How wide and smooth the roads are.” And on and until we reached St.Vincent dePaul Village. I felt a pang of guilt, how I take for granted this beautiful city of San Diego. That rusty hinge on her secluded life is being oiled. What joy to see her absorbing all this new information. “There are many people downtown without homes”, she observed. She could tell by their appearance.

The waiting room was very crowded. It was going to be a long wait. It mattered not to Maria, she was interested in the people; mostly working poor; mostly Mexican. They have no medical insurance. They must be employed somehow, to qualify at the clinic. Shortly, a lady and man came up and introduced themselves; Jean, the program director, and Felix, the orthotist. They were so nice to Maria. She was a special patient, the first from Mexico to attend their clinic. After a two-hour wait, Maria was called to the examining room. She entered with Marge and was joined by Felix and the orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Foster. It turned out to be a one-hour session of measuring her legs and checking her health. Before they left, Felix gave her five dollars and the two, at Marge’s suggestion, agreed to buy her new shoes.

“Now I do not have to go to the border tomorrow.” That five dollars will allow her to escape the fumes and heat for one day. Felix said the braces will take 6 weeks. She cannot escape the metal of the plastic braces. The metal is stronger and she needs two. Karina has one plastic brace and she manages it very well. Karina was also a polio victim, at age two. Then she spent 12 years on crutches. Shriners changed all that; changed her life!

Another doctor examined Maria for general health. They took some tests and found she may have an infection. “Check with us next week and we may schedule her for another appointment”. 20

At last, we were free to go! We were very hungry and hurried to our favorite place to entertain our friends from the south. Seaport Village. Jolly Roger gave us a fine welcome and seated us near a window overlooking the harbor.”I have never been to such a beautiful restaurant. What a beautiful fireplace. I am dreaming.” No, Maria, this is real and you are here with your friends. Look, up on the mantel, a large porcelain umbrella. This is our sign of good fortune.

What would you like to eat? “Whatever you order for me.” I knew what she likes, a large hamburger with onions and a bowl of fresh fruit. After we ordered, Maria took out her 5 dollars and offered to pay for her lunch. Not a chance. We ate slowly and talked. She is an endless questioner. Her manners are quite good; another lesson from those good nuns. It is hard for us to believe that Maria never attended school. Outgoing, conversational, interesting, and eager to know everything. Marge had mentioned to the waitress that we were celebrating Maria’s birthday. It seems we are always pulling this little trick with our friends. It was last year’s birthday; that counts? Anyway, she brought out something very deadly looking; chocolate cake, syrup, ice cream, whipped cream, and the traditional candle. Blow out the candle, it’s good luck. What fun! We all sampled it and it was gone. When the check came Maria brought out her $5 again and asked if I had enough money. She keeps trying.

Outside the sun was slowly sinking, it was warm yet, musicians and actors were performing for the visitors. Boats were sailing in the harbor. What a beautiful sight. As we strolled the walkway, I wondered what was going through her mind. I cannot imagine and she did not comment. I assured her that we would see all of this again. We promise. On her next visit, we may have a big surprise for her. That will be another chapter.

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Each time we visit Maria we like to give her little projects. Last time was the food plan for the poor and I asked her to “write” a thank you note to brother John for the chairs. She never fails. She called DIF about the food; sorry, they replied, this plan is for the poor people who live in the poorest colonies. Otay, Maria’s Colonia, is not regarded as poor. Therefore, is Maria poor? Another plan will be started soon to help people like Maria who live in the “rich colonial”.

True to form, she dictated and Manuel wrote a beautiful note to John. She closed the note with an apology for not being able to express herself well. What an understatement.

It was near seven when we arrived back at her little house. Her friend Josefina was waiting to visit her. The two boys were delighted to see their mother. It was like a sigh of relief that she had returned. It was her first time away from them.

A busy week in Tijuana. A Mariano visit on the 20 to invite Cuca and Prisciliana for a weekend. Maria on the 25, and 27 we took Patricia Chavez to lunch for her birthday. We celebrated her real day in March and this was an additional gift. Alone without the kids for a few hours. She is a dear friend of several years. Her son, Luis, was a Shriners patient. By the way, we did the same deal for the cake at the seafood restaurant. What a surprise, the whole gang came out and sang for her. Patricia’s life would make for another story. Thanks to a benefactor, Patricia has a telephone. At a cost of over $300! We call her often and try to visit once each month.

Good news today, May 1. Maria has two more appointments; May 16, for more testing, and, May 29, with Felix for more measuring and fittings. May 16, is a Friday. Maybe, maybe she can......

May 16

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Maria’s second visit to the US was as eventful and exciting as her first. Questions, questions, more questions. She never runs out of questions! Maria was ready and waiting for us when we arrived. She appeared quite tired and not well. “I did not sleep well last night. My stomach pained me much.” Marge and I became more concerned than ever. The tests the doctors took last week had something to do with her stomach. The answer came later. Marge brought two small bags of candy for the boys. Javi squirreled his away somewhere, while Manuel said he was giving his to his teacher. Smart move. He is a good student and gets along well at school. On the other hand, Javier spends his time chatting with his friends. A smart boy is yet bored with the routine. He looks to be one of the multitudes who barely reaches the sixth grade. There is a huge division between primeria, the first six grades, and secundaria, the next three grades. Those who reach that level often breeze through and go to college. Anyway, the boys kissed their mother goodbye, we loaded up the car and proceeded to the border. Maria showed me a shortcut, the route the boys take her to the border. About one mile. They take turns wheeling her to the line of cars. They play off to the side while she sits between the cars. With a up raised palm she said again how much she dislikes going there each week. I knew what the sign meant. We will have more to say about that later. As we entered the INS office we saw again the long line of people waiting to receive entry permits or applying for visas. Like before, we excused our selves and rolled past the line to the front. I justify this by thinking Mar it’s doctor visit is more important. We had no problem and she had her one-day entry card.

“Where are we now?” Chula Vista.”What is the name of this place?” National City. “Where does that train go?” The Trolley goes to downtown San Diego. “There are many Negroes downtown. Why?” Many Blacks are homeless; many blacks live nearby. On and on she went. I dare not stop her for she was absorbing all of this 23

and filing away.”It takes 30 minutes to get to town from Otay.” That was not a question, she remembered from the last trip.

The waiting room was crowded with mothers and children. Mostly Mexican. Maria had fun talking with the ladies. More questions for them. I was off the hook on these conversations.

After Maria went into the examining room, Marge and I wandered about the St.Vincent dePaul Village. Located in the heart of downtown San Diego, it consists of six large centers. Their programs encompass biblical admonition, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, sheltering the home less, and healing the sick; with dignity. It is a very large and very busy place. Several people were in the courtyard cleaning and preparing for some event. One of the sweepers dropped her broom and came over to hug Marge. It was Jean the Medical Program Director. No primadona she. “How is Maria, did she arrive ok?”Jean and her helpers were pre paring the area for an afternoon party for the new mothers in their program. A recent convention of pediatricians had donated baby supplies; formula, bottles, and assorted items.Fr. Joe was to talk also. The Village is just full of volunteers. All the nurses and doctors in the clinic spend many hours there, gratis. As we walked around the yard we saw a young mother with her baby. Sporting several tattoos, she was probably 18 or 19, she was eager to talk about her life. It was a long and familiar tale, runaway, drugs, living in many states, run-ins with the police; she was presently on probation. But, she was getting herself together here at the Village. There are, no free rides at this place. Everyone works: and pays room and board. A portion was given back when the resident left to go on their own. She had a beautiful baby, Zoe Pedal. Does that sound like Woodstock?

Soon after returning, Maria was finished with her examination. The nurse said that Maria has some problems and that the ob-gyn would need to look at her next appointment; in June. The nurse 24

also said to Marge that she has a large amount of used clothing that might fit Maria. Great! As I said before, Maria did not look her best this day. Her dress was not one of her better ones. After we left the clinic Maria told me why she was feeling poorly. The night before she and Javi had a feast with beans and chiles. That combination can be very upsetting. The rest of the day we scolded her, in a loving and joking manner about that meal. At her first visit, the doctor told her to cut down on tortillas and lose some weight.”You will add years to your ability to walk if you slim down.” My heart ached when he said that she might have 10 more years of walking. Maria will not be 30 years old until October! She was undaunted; her faith will carry her far. We marvel at what she has done these years with such a handicap. Is it really a handicap for her?

Maria was going to experience another exciting event this trip. We were ta king her to Balboa Par k.I told her it was a surprise; she loves surprises. On the way to the park, Marge gave Maria a small purse she had purchased with a donation from our niece, Laurie. Her previous visit she had kept her things in a plastic bag. How thrilled she was! She held that little black bag as she did with the shoes she received some time back. That little gift was in her possess ion constantly that day and Sunday. Maria enters and leaves the car without any help; “Sola, David, sola, Magie.”It is very difficult for her but her independence demands it. Anyway, she allows us to hold the purse while she struggles in and out. Marge also gave her a small album for her growing collection of photos. Our Mexican friends love albums, the more the better In most cases, it is the only link to their past life. Maria was to bring the album on her trip to Mariano on Sunday.

Balboa Park was bustling with activity and the day was perfect for our stroll. Maria was very excited about the many Spanish-style buildings, the greenery everywhere, the sidewalk entertainers, with the whole scene. She informed me that the style was Spanish, not 25

Mexican. How did she know that? The Japanese carp particularly entranced her. And the ducks, and the birds, everything we take for grant ed Maria is seeing for the first time in her life! We walk slowly so she can absorb it all. We were all hungry by this time; especially Maria, after her experience the night before. Marge found a nice little luncheon spot in one of the museums. We ate slowly to savor the moment. During these precious two visits, we have hurried nothing. Her experience is growing as is our friendship. She reminds us often that gifts are not important to her, but our visits, our conversations, and our friendship, that is what she cherishes.

We walked and talked and took pictures, and then it was time to return to #35 Guillermo Prieto. Maria’s next appointment is with Felix, the orthotist. Measuring and fitting for her braces. Marge and I had talked over a plan for the next visit. “Maria, would you like to visit our home and stay for the night?” Sil ly question.” Yes, very much so! ‘’She will make plans for the boys to care for. No problem. Then we will return the next day. Maria will be another in our increasing number of friends who have come up to stay over night. Her first time in an American house as a guest. It will prove to be a memorable event for all of us. #35 is such a sad place. It pains me to bring her back to such surroundings. Yet, it is her home and she is with her boys. They are always first in her heart and on her lips. Her family in America is close by.

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