1469
+ I went to confession to the chaplain [Father Theodore] today. Jesus comforted me through this priest. O my Mother, Church of God, you are a true Mother who understands her children……
1470
(72) Oh, how good it is that Jesus will judge us according to our conscience and not according to people‟s talk and judgments. O inconceivable goodness, I see You full of goodness in the very act of judgment.
1471
Although I am feeling weak, and my nature is clamoring for rest, I feel the inspiration of grace telling me to take hold of myself and write, write for the comfort of souls, whom I love so much and with whom I will share all eternity. And I desire eternal life for them so ardently that that is why I use all my free moments, no matter how short, for writing in the way that Jesus wishes of me.
1472
January 8. During Holy Mass, I had a moment of knowledge concerning Father S., that great glory is being given to God through our mutual efforts. And even though we are far from each other, we are often together, because we are united by a common goal.
1473
O my Jesus, my only desire, although I wanted to receive You today with greater fervor than ever, (73) nevertheless, precisely on this day, my soul is drier than ever. My faith grows in power, and so the fruit of Your coming, Lord, will be abundant. Although many a time You come without touching my senses and reign only in the loftier part of me, the senses too sometimes rejoice at Your coming.
1474
I often ask the Lord Jesus for an intellect enlightened by faith. I express this to the Lord in these words: “Jesus, give me an intellect, a great intellect, for this only, that I may understand You better; because the better I get to know You, the more ardently will I love You. Jesus, I ask You for a powerful intellect, that I may understand divine and lofty matters. Jesus, give me a keen intellect with which I will get to know Your Divine Essence and Your indwelling, Triune life. Give my intellect these capacities and aptitudes by means of your special grace. Although I know that there is a capability through grace which the Church gives me, there is still a treasure of graces which You give us, O Lord, when we ask You for them. But if my request is not pleasing to You, then I beg You, do not give me the inclination to pray thus.”
1475
(74) I strive for the greatest perfection possible in order to be useful to the Church. Greater by far is my bond to the Church. The sanctity or the fall of each individual soul has an effect upon the whole Church. Observing myself and those who are close to me, I have come to understand how great an influence I have on other souls, not by any heroic deeds, as these are striking in themselves, but by small actions like a movement of the hand, a look, and many other things too numerous to mention, which have an effect on and reflect in the souls of others, as I myself have noticed.
1476
Oh, how good it is that our rule demands strict silence in the dormitory [common bedrooms] and does not allow us to stay in them unless it is absolutely necessary. I have at present a little room in which two of us sleep, but at the time of my sickness when I had to stay in bed, I found out how bothersome it was if someone was sitting in the bedroom all the time. Sister N.228 had some handwork to do and sat in the bedroom almost all of the time, (75) and another S.229 would come to instruct her on how to do it. 323