The Digital Nomad Survival Guide

Lewis Carr drinks an unhealthy amount of coffee in an attempt to untether himself from the office.

Ah, the glamorous life of a digital nomad, they said - a world of adventure, endless coffee shops, and the dreamy allure of working anywhere. Reflecting on my most recent nomad experience, I can’t help but chuckle at how the day unfolded. I present to you, the highs and lows of working as an eLearning nomad and the top tips for survival.

Drowning out noisy customers

As I settled into a cosy corner at my local Costa, sipping on a latte, I plugged into the somewhat dubious plug socket on the wall. I couldn’t help but overhear the animated conversation at the following table. A group of enthusiastic seniors passionately discussing their morning, and how expensive the world is getting. I’m getting drawn in, eavesdropping, and agreeing with Agnus - £4 for a coffee does seem expensive. My concentration was shattered, and I realised that tip number one is always to bring headphones. Nothing says “I’m working” like listening to your carefully crafted 80s rock playlist.

The elusive Wi-Fi

I eagerly connected to the Wi-Fi, only to be greeted by the dreaded “Sign up now” popup. My heart sank, and I begrudgingly entered my email, postcode, mum’s maiden name, hair colour, inside leg measurements and, of course, my mobile number (I can’t wait for the sales calls to come flooding in next week). Once connected, I realised just how terrible “free” wifi is. I forget trying to upload anything; free Wi-Fi is for emails at best. Thinking I’d be able to download assets from my Dropbox or upload video to my online projects..not a chance. So here’s tip number two: Have a backup plan. Bring a mobile hotspot or tether your phone to your laptop for a reliable internet connection.

Should I stay or should I go?

When The Clash wrote their lyrics to this iconic song, I don’t think they were talking about the etiquette of overstaying one’s welcome in Costa. However, I can only make a single coffee go so far. Drink it too quickly, and then other patrons will eye up my seat and start hovering around me like buzzards in the desert. Drink it too slowly, and I’m left sipping a cold cappuccino. So what to do? Sit with an empty cup and ignore the seat vultures? Or order another one just to keep paying the “rent” for my chair? Tip number three: Go early to avoid seat vultures. Lunchtimes get busy, and always test if the plug socket actually works before you get comfortable.

Slow hotspot tethering

So, I decided to go. And foolishly opted to go to a Wetherspoons. For those of you in the know, you know exactly what I’m talking about. For our international readers, well, let’s say, don’t leave your coat, let alone your laptop, on the table to nip to the loo, as it won’t be there when you get back. Having found my seat, this time without a plug in sight (luckily, I did get some charge from the fizzing Costa socket), I tried the Wi-Fi, and guess what? The Wi-Fi was down. Remembering tip number two, I fired up tethering on my phone. But I made the fatal mistake: the metal roof that adorned the building acted as a Faraday cage, intermittently blocking out the outside world, leaving me with half a bar of 3G. Getting any work done was proving to be very, very stressful which brings me onto tip number four: If you’re tethering, make sure you test your internet before you sit down and order something.

The toilet dilemma

After three lattes, nature calls. So what do you do? Leave your belongings and chance that the shifty-looking guy in the corner of Wetherspoons doesn’t run off with your kit, or do you leave your aura there, maybe a pen and paper and half your drink that says “hey, don’t clear up or take my table..I’m still here”. I opted for the pen, paper, coat combo. Luckily, all my stuff was still there when I returned, and they hadn’t taken my half-empty cup. Tip number five: You will need to leave your new-found hotdesk eventually for a loo break, but leaving it empty may result in losing your cosy little spot. So make sure you have non-expensive stuff you can leave that makes it clear that you’ve set up shop and be prepared to carry your Macbook into the loo with you.

Laptop battery roulette

In the midst of my caffeine-infused madness, I realised my laptop was on the brink of extinction. The power socket situation never improved. There wasn’t a single power socket in sight. This probably explains why the carpets are never vacuumed. Tip number six, bring one of those industrial-sized battery packs that can charge laptops.

Overspending

As I refilled my fifth coffee of the day, I couldn’t help but notice how hungry I was getting and the dwindling funds in my wallet. So I ordered some food, thinking that a plate of chips would make it clear that I mean business and that I’m here to stay. Tip number seven: Keep an eye on your spending; those artisanal pastries at Costa and those chips at the pub can add up faster than you think.

Getting kicked-out

This doesn’t happen at Wetherspoons, but it has happened to me in small independent cafes. When the staff politely provide enough hints that you have overstayed your welcome. They have a business to run and don’t need you propping up the place for several hours on just one Mocca. Tip number eight, Always have a backup location in mind for those times when your digital nomading adventure takes an unexpected turn but maybe not a Wetherspoons.

The life of a coffee-swilling digital nomad is an unpredictable rollercoaster. Don’t think you’re going to write a few chapters of your next novel, build a Storyline project, script an e-learning module, or code your next plugin because the truth is, you’re not. And forget taking a meeting, the clinking of the cutlery and the background chatter make it virtually impossible to take a call.

So, while the life of a digital nomad may seem like a dream come true, just remember, it’s more like a never-ending game of “The Floor is Lava”, but with coffee shops and crying babies. But with the right tips and a sense of humour, you can navigate the pitfalls and still find some small pockets of productivity amidst the chaos, and hey, it inspired me to write this article. Happy nomadding, fellow cafe dwellers!