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Our Journey to Adoption
Catholic Charities
Catholic Charities Annual Adoption Day Celebration
By SHAWN and DIANA STOERMANN
�ur journey to adoption started like many other
stories with infertility. It involved doctors’ visits, tests, procedures and finally learning it would not be possible to have a child of our own naturally. Adoption was something we had discussed during the infertility treatments, and we met with a social worker from Catholic Charities a year before we made the decision to pursue adoption. The home study program was very educational for us not only about the types of adoptions but also about many of the social and emotional things we as a couple and our potential child would face. After finishing the home study and loading our profile on the Catholic Charities webpage, we launched a Facebook page to spread the word. We told everyone we knew that we were adopting, to help us find a birthmother. We sent postcards to clinics, churches, birthing centers, and any place we could think of that might catch a potential birthmother's attention. Our days were spent in an anticipatory state. Friends and family asked frequently if we had heard anything. Time passed, and, after a few years, doubt grew about finding the right match. We took solace in the Catholic Charities adoption support classes and with other couples who were having similar wait times. Eventually, we became wrapped up in our day-today lives and accepted that it would happen if it was meant to be, whenever it was meant to be. After more than four years of waiting, we suddenly received a call that a baby boy was born in Mankato and the birthmother wanted to place him for adoption. We rushed there that evening and spent the night feeding, holding and loving the baby. However, the birth grandmother came to the hospital and convinced the birthmother to keep the child. That day was the most difficult and saddest day in our marriage. We had named that child and called family and friends about the baby but then had to call them back and tell them it did not work out. So many tears and tremendous sadness. We clung to each other as a couple and decided to take a few days off from work and life and went away together to gather ourselves and decide how to move forward. While some may have said that they would take a break or even forgo adoption at this point, the
November 2020 w The Courier w dowr.org
Since Catholic Charities is unable to host our annual Adoption Day Celebration due to COVID19, we have put together an Adoption Day Celebration Kit so adoptive families can celebrate on their own. To request your free kit, email adoption@ccsomn.org or call 507-287-2047. Please include a mailing address and the number of children in your family. Pick a date, gather the family, and create some new memories while you reflect and celebrate what adoption means to you!
experience actually strengthened our resolve to be parents and that we were on the right path for us to create our family. Six months later, we received another call about another baby boy whose birthmother also wanted to pursue adoption. Their stories were very similar, almost eerily so. The mothers had not made any adoption plans before birth and neither had wanted to take an active role in choosing an adoptive family. The babies were roughly the same size and prematurity. Wow, can we do this again, we asked? YES we could! We headed to Rochester the next morning and spent the day learning about caring for a baby, holding and feeding him and giving him his first bath plus meeting with the social workers and doctors. The nurses were so supportive to us but did not smother us. By 5 p.m. that day, the time came for the mom to release custody and for us to see the baby for the first time. After meeting him, she also decided to meet us. It was overwhelming and yet comforting to meet our child’s birthmother and put a name and face to her. We all struggled to find the words to say and questions to ask but the social worker helped guide us through. That evening, we finally started sharing the news to family and friends. The outpouring of love and support was mind-blowing! The next morning, we were released from the hospital and made the drive home as a family of three for the first time. Ever since then, we have watched our little miracle, Kaden Jackson Stoermann, grow and learn and become the sweet, active and independent toddler that he is today. He has fit into our lives and families like he was made to be there, and people even comment that he looks like the two of us, which is impossible but somewhat true at the same time. Mind-blowing! Our goal is to be open about his adoption and to let him know that he has a birthmother who loves him and wanted the best for him. While she is currently only a part of our lives through sharing emails and pictures, we end each day telling Kaden “Mommy loves you, Daddy loves you and Birth mommy loves you.” Adoption for us certainly had its challenges, but its benefits well outweigh those, and we will never regret our choice to pursue adoption for our family.
Thank You to all those who participated in
Catholic Charities’ Annual Baby Bottle Campaign! October was Respect Life Month, and parishioners across the diocese come together every October to show their support for women choosing life for their babies. Whether you filled a baby bottle with change, donated online, or gave at a special collection at church, each donation will directly impact the lives of mothers with new babies in our diocese. Catholic Charities Mother and Child Assistance Fund provides tangible help to families in need by paying a portion of rent, utilities, medical bills or other needs. In addition to financial assistance, the new and expectant parents meet with Social Workers who help them create a plan for their baby and get them connected to the resources they need. Baby items, pregnancy counseling, adoption planning and parenting education are also available at no cost to parents. Every donation truly makes a difference! Thank you to all who donated and to those who coordinated the campaign at your parish, school or faith formation program. We could not reach so many women without you! If you would like to make a donation to the Mother and Child Assistance Fund, checks can be sent to Catholic Charities Mother and Child Assistance Fund, PO Box 379, Winona, MN 55987 or given online at www.ccsomn.org/ donate and indicate “Baby Bottle Campaign” in the notes section.