What is Love, Anyway?

“Love”. It is one of the most frequently spoken words in the English language but often the word is used to express a general enjoyment as in “I love going to the cinema”. But, if asked to define what the word means, most people would think of romantic love – the one that attracts you to another human being. But what is that love and why do we feel it? Phase 3: Attachment

In reality what we think of as love has three distinct phases:

• Lust, or erotic passion • Attraction, or romantic passion • Attachment, or commitment

Phase 1: Lust

This really needs no explanation. It’s the one that starts as we hit puberty and it evolved for the purpose of mating and reproduction. It’s a rush of hormones that occurs less frequently as we age, along with the ability to reproduce.

Lust drives us to find a partner and in doing so may develop into phase 2 and 3. It is exciting and addictive. The serial philanderer may genuinely love their partner, but is so hooked on the high that comes from phase 1 they are unable to give it up. Phase 2: Attraction or romantic passion When ‘love’ moves from lust into passion, we lose our ability to think rationally and can develop an obsession with the object of our desire. The phrase ‘love is blind’ is true in this phase, and we may be oblivious to our partner’s faults, even if they are obvious to all around. Researchers at University College London found that people in love have lower levels of serotonin. These lower levels are the same as those found in people with obsessivecompulsive disorders, possibly explaining why those in love can think of little else than their partner. Couples in this stage spend many hours together – they really can’t get enough of each other. If this attraction remains strong and is mutual, then they usually enter the third stage: attachment. This is the commitment phase, the one that creates a relationship which will last. Typically the passion will be fading and although not as exciting as lust and attraction, attachment is a deeper more contented feeling. Studies have shown that the more someone idealises their partner and turns a blind eye to their faults and less endearing personality traits, the longer the relationship will last. If however the behaviour is unforgiveable, such as being unfaithful, or one person simply cannot learn to live with the other’s ‘little ways’. the foundations of the relationship are undermined. Then every difference is highlighted and the couple may reach the conclusion that they are incompatible where they were perfectly happy in the attraction phase. Of course no relationship will endure unless both parties put in the effort and Valentine’s Day is your opportunity to confirm your lust, attraction or attachment to your other half.

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Take a sound journey with your little one, each week exploring a di erent theme using a variety of puppets, props and dress up fun accompanied by an original soundtrack. Carefully constructed with child development at the forefront; our classes are designed to suit the current stage of your child. Book for a term or do drop-in sessions. We would love for you to join us! 10.30am Happy House - for confident walkers up to preschool and younger siblings 11.30am Baby Beeps - for sitting to toddling babies 12.45pm Baby Bells - for newborn to sitting babies | 2pm Baby Beeps - for sitting to toddling babies 3pm Happy House - for confident walkers up to preschool and younger siblings e: sarah.armstrong@hartbeeps.com | www.hartbeeps.com 8ft2 hall hire from just £12 ph (no minimum hire time). Separate upstairs seating area with sofas overlooking main hall. Fully equipped with chairs & tables, modern kitchen with serving hatch and large disabled access toilet. FOR HALL HIRE ENQUIRIES - Call Vicky Leschallas 07919053140