FIVE SENSES If you’re in the midst of a panic attack, try the “five senses” trick. This will ground you and allow you to be better aware of your surroundings any time you’re feeling overwhelmed or like you’ve lost control of a situation. Write it down on a sticky note and keep it in your wallet, at your desk or in the car… wherever you think it would be helpful.
5:
Find five things around you that you can see, like a phone, a pen, a cup, a lamp and a window.
4:
Find four things you can touch around you, like a couch, computer mouse, burger pillow and TV remote.
3:
Find three things you can hear, like a phone ringing, wind chimes outside and the TV.
2:
Find two things you can smell, like a candle and a freshly washed blanket.
1:
Find one thing you can taste, like coffee.
just
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BY BRITTANY PURVIS
Anxiety is a bitch. But unlike the mean girl in high school, anxiety is the kind of bitch that isn’t easy to understand — not for those who have it, and definitely not for those who have never experienced it. For all of those who have ever been told to chill out, we grimace with you and, in turn, offer these equally effective alternatives. • Remember that you’re single. • Instead of counting sheep, count how many relationships you’ve ruined. • Take a pregnancy test. • Check your bank account. • When someone says you’re faking it, beat the shit out of them in the fakest way possible. • Look up people you went to highschool with who are on their second baby and make more money than you. • When you’re trying to get some sleep after a long day, remember something dumb you said when you were in 6th grade, then you’ll fall right to sleep. • Think about all the bad sex you’ve had. • Remember how unpopular you were in high school... and college… and now. • When you feel a panic attack coming on, just think about how terrible all of the other panic attacks have been. That will definitely calm you down. • Think about how much stuff you have to do this week and how you have accomplished nothing so far. • When you’re feeling anxious and your friend tells you to “just chill out,” transfer your negative energy to them by slapping them across the face. Namaste, friends.