Dig This Real Spring 2013 by Dig This Real magazine

Radiolab • David Byrne & St. Vincent • The Last Names • Alex Montanez

Spring 2013

! the way n o s i 9 Issue #1 ming ition co int ed New pr 013! 2 g n i r in Sp

The Barbarellatones

March 2013

st e F 013 J 2 40 M Pg.

Dig This Real

Table Of Contents

Features 7 Dig This

Don’t let surfing the ‘net be a huge time suck. Afraid to rock the cradle? No worries with these Cats

9 Features

Alex Montanez, The Last Names

12 Live Reviews

Further, Dirty Projectors, Rush, Engelbert Humperdinck , complete coverage of 2012 CMJ

28 Cover Story Hide the Mazola Corn Oil! It’s the Barbarellatones!

March 2013

2 3

Table Of Contents

Regular 35 Release Reviews

Amanda Palmer & The Grand Theft Orchestra, Andrew Handrick, Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti, Bloc Party, Bob Mould, Christian Andersson, David Byrne & St. Vincent, Dead Smiling Pirates, Dinosaur Jr., Green Day, Katrina Wreede, Kristen Faulconer, Radiolab, The Killers, The Memorials, The Nearly Deads, Vajra, Waves of Violet

45 Dig This Reel

It was over 20 years ago today, that Dawg and Tip began to playa

47 From the Foam Finger Committee

Roll up your sleeves and stay awhile

48 Kulture Shock

The ‘Funnies’ can be some serious business

50 Dear Cthulhu 52 Zine Corner

Only a few pages long but TONS of fun

53 Book Reviews

The Drunk Diet: How I Lost 40 Pounds Wasted, Clockwork Angels: A Novel, Bandland Book One, Waging Heavy Peace, In Heaven Everthing Is Fine: The Unsolved Life of Peter Ivers and the Lost History of New Wave Theatre

61 Dig In

Let that shizzle, drizzle…a LOT

Dig This Real

Dig This Real Masthead

Spring 2013 Publisher & Editor in Chief Samantha “edie” Collins

Cover Photo of the Barbarellatones by Dawn Laureen 244 Fifth Avenue Suite 29037 New York, New York 10001-7604 www.digthisreal.com • info@digthisreal.com

DTR Staff Writers Evan Bleier, Cindy Chisvette, Nelson Heise, Dean Keim, Malcolm Y. Knotte, Lauren Piper, Christian Recca, Angelica Wytch

Zine Layout & Design Dean Keim

Video Production Producer / Director / Editor Samantha “edie” Collins

Video Editor Mike Rosado edie

Videographers William Herck edie

March 2013

Letter From The Editor Welcome to another digital issue of DTR. As the world spins faster and faster into a blur of Pinterest-agram-twat-book-a-blog, I try to understand it all. Do you? Didn’t think so. Do you believe that social media is just this huge, time-sucking vortex? Though I can hear some of you grumble, “get out of the dark ages, Grandma,” Angelica Wytch’s piece on page 7 makes me feel a little more schooled, yet not entirely confident when navigating on the ‘net (or as referred to in Portlandia’s Rock n’ Rose Vintage Store skit, ‘the Neck’). Please give a warm welcome to DTR’s new layout and design person, Dean Keim. Not only did he come in the turn this mess around (and through a Mercury Retrograde in Pisces, mind you), he is also an accomplished writer and photographer. Check it out for yourself on page 20. The Barbarellatones have graced this issues cover and many of you dear readers may not all be that surprised since it’s such a known fact that I am a huge fan. And so much so that I have found a way to interject this band’s song lyrics into my everyday vocabulary and folks still don’t roll their eyes. They now just ask which album. Please be aware that when I came into the office to check up on the proofreaders when putting this issue together, they were craving corndogs. See what I mean? Read on page 28. Another musician we are huge fans of resurfaced not with new music or a tour but with his first book. To find out who, check out page 54. Cindy took a visit to the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art and as expected, it was no laughing matter. Read all about it on page 48. Since most of 2012’s hockey season was a bust due to yet another lock-out, we just had to write more articles about Rush. Please check out page 16 and page 55. Also, to help keep us occupied during this lock-out, we took to the street and started filming. Check out our footage on youtube.com/digthisreal. Stay awhile and check out our foray into video and leave a comment or two. Heck, subscribe! We also have a Vimeo page where you can check out Cindy’s work as well, brave gal she is, at http://vimeo.com/digthisreal. And lastly, we do have a facebook page up (https://www.facebook.com/digthisreal). Like us. It would mean the world to me.

Cindy after her vlog filming debut. A natural!

My very first “instagram” photo. Notice how tickled excited I am.

Dig This Real

Dig This Real Why Should You Manage Your Social Media? plication for searching content within LinkedIn. They want to connect with people that are positive, show leadership qualities, demonstrate an ability to communicate and above all are approachable. In the recent news, there was a big outcry about employers demanding social media passwords from employees. Despite multiple warnings from both human resource professional organizations and the legal community, employees and job applicants refusing to provide the information suffered adverse action. By Angelica Wytch When was the last time you thought about someone from your past? Did you look them up on the Internet to see what they are doing? How easy is it to reconnect with friends and colleagues from the past, and then look at their network to see who you know? The Internet can be your best friend or your worst enemy when it comes to managing your career. The fact is, employers have jobs they cannot fill because workers do not have the skills required. For the last two decades there have been skill shortages throughout the United States in engineering, technology, and some medical professions. Traditionally these shortages were filled by sponsoring HB-1 visas to fill the gap or outsource work to a country where the talent pool is larger. Since the collapse of the economy and difficulties obtaining work visas, staffing professionals face this new challenge of finding qualified candidates by turning to social media. Staffing professionals are identifying very specific business needs, targeting niche markets with industry groups and bulletin boards and looking for key skill sets to identify viable candidates through social media data searches such as Signal, an ap-

March 2013

New York Senator Charles Schumer (D) and Connecticut Senator Richard Blumenthal (D) asked the Department of Justice to investigate the legality of this practice. The House passed Bill 433 and is currently under Senate Review. Individual States did not want to wait for the Federal ruling and began drafting their own legislation. The State of Maryland is the first to pass a law prohibiting employers from demanding access to private information with several other States following suit. If passed, the bill is designed to protect employees from having to produce any password to give an employer access to password-protected digital content while protecting employers giving them a shield against lawsuits. The second controversy in the news is the very nature of social media background checks. Third party companies are emerging that run algorithms to identify key words that are considered at risk. In one report, a man was labeled as a domestic terrorist, “shooter waiting to happen,” because he joined a social media group, “Press 1 for English,” and espoused discontent with automated call centers. The background check identified the individual as intolerant of other

languages and cultures. Think about what happens if a woman excitedly reports to her network, “I’m pregnant!” If she applied for a job, the employer could easily think, “mandatory time off coming soon,” and disqualify the candidate. Although reports assure that third party social media companies go to great strides to block out any identifying characteristics that might conflict with EEOC laws, there are no guidelines in place and employers run the risk of making decisions based on these facts. I ran a personal background check through www.Reppler.com, limiting the content to just Facebook. Over the past several weeks, Zynga games had various guests surrounding alcohol. Because accomplishments and requests for items to complete game quests appeared on my profile, the algorithm identified me using excessive alcohol highlighting the post updates where I was “looking for a green beer,” “looking for nails to complete Kelly’s Tavern,” and giving away Bourdon turkeys. When I added other social media sites to the search criteria, my overall rating increased and it suddenly reconfigured not detecting my virtual alcohol problem. My test run of social media background checks lead me to believe that the more solid content you have, the less likely you are to raise a red flag. There is already a lot of buzz surrounding the automated process for gathering information and whether or not the law should intervene in determining if the information flagged was taken out of context unfairly labeling the individual. I am reaching out to readers to run a free background check and share with us the accuracies and inaccuracies you find at info@digthisreal.com.

Dig This... Rock and Roll Middle School? Unlocking the Truth has already learned how to rock. Unlocking the Truth, a duo comprised of two 11-year-old Brooklynites, is proving with each consecutive show that hitting puberty is not a pre-requisite for heavy metal success. Malcolm Brickhouse (guitar) and Jarad Dawkins (drums) bust out songs by groups like Metallica, Rage Against the Machine to the delight of passing tourists and also write and perform their own material. Playing at New York hotspots like Times Square and Washington Square as well making appearances at historic venues like the Apollo, these two Brooklyn boys know how to bring it. Brickhouse and Dawkins, who both entered the sixth grade this past fall, are occasionally joined by another preteen, Tyree Johnson, on vocals. We’re just glad that drummer Dawkins wears headphones and it looks like Brickhouse has in earplugs while he’s waling away on his guitar. Gotta protect those ears dudes - you’re going to need them. Even though they might be too young to have an account, check them out on Facebook at facebook.com/ UnlockingTheTruth. – Evan Bleier

Dig This Real

Features precedent or built-in-audience. This is the definition of artistic bravery and this critic is happy to announce that the results are quite satisfactory. Montanez’s EP, Begin Again, starts off with a song entitled, “War?” While the song is presumably about actual military conflict, Montanez’s lyrics are just ambiguous enough to make the listener think he might just be singing about business or romantic strife. On the song, “Superman,” Montanez asks an unidentified, “you,” to show respect to an unidentified, “him,” who “lifts a thousand pounds,” and who could save, “everyone.” Is this song really about Superman? Is the narrator trying to stick up for a buddy who’s being wronged by a woman? Or is Montanez singing about himself? “Future on Fire,” could be about a friend with his head in the clouds or about the singer’s own insecurity. Even without many images or much (obvious) imagery, these lyrics will not allow for easy identification, which makes them more interesting than they seem at first glance.

Hip Hop and Rock and Roll have danced around each other since Run DMC decided to cover Aerosmith’s, “Walk This Way.” In recent years, artists like Danger Mouse have mashed up the two genres to sometimes daz-

March 2013

zling effect. However, in even more recent years, new hybrid genres have emerged including Hopster and Hood Rock. Artist like Chords of Truth, and now Alex Montanez, are creating music for which there is no

As far as musical collaborations go (and probably much further), the use of disparate elements can either be constructive or destructive. When people meet in the middle, the results can be less than the sum of the two parts. One thinks of Santana’s, Supernatural, album in which the old master’s guitars were smoothed over to middling effect by the likes of Rob Thomas. In this case, however, the results are enlightening. Montanez coaxes visceral

Alex Montanez con’t beauty out of an acoustic guitar while drum loops patter away in the background. It’s kind of like David Grey or Beth Orton’s early work only with less earnestness and more ambition (albeit less catchiness). Indeed, one cannot discount the catchiness quotient or the fact that Montanez seems disinclined to really show off with his voice. His lyrics, despite their pleasant ambiguity, do not floor the listener with their brilliance. Given that, “Hood Rock,” is all about being mellow and inspirational, there is little bravado

on display, which, despite its annoying tendencies, has allowed MCs to go on flights of transcendent lyrical fantasy and allowed guitarist to make their instruments whimper and cry. Hood Rock cannot claim to be truly cute or truly sexy, but that doesn’t seem to be Montanez’s aim. Montanez, or so it seems, is all about bringing an anthem to the club. After bumping and grinding against each other all night long, he wants the kids to raise their lighters and to begin purposefully bobbing their

heads. He wants to celebrate the struggling artist and anyone fighting hard against seemingly impossible odds. He wants us to all begin again. And, if Montanez’s robust online presence is any indication (out of the thousands of hopefuls on ReverbNation, Montanez is ranked at number 50), it seems like he’s going to get what he wants. For more information, please visit http://www.reverbnation. com/alexmontanez – Christian Recca

Dig This Real

Features The Last Names like a smile on his face. Darbie joins in the chorus adding to the dreaminess, creating a feeling of oneness. Immediately following is, “Wilderness II,” a reprise of sorts to the first song on called, Wilderness 1. This song compared to the last shows off The Last Names’ diversity in that they aren’t limited to the scenic, wandering through a flower-y field sound. They can also play sounds that could be the soundtrack to a Western Indie film. The final song, “Flares,” sweeps in with glockenspiel and languorously dances with a kick drum beat and a great sounding shaker. Darbie sings, “Days are numbered/Restless as a dove/I’ve been falling/In and out of love.” This song’s imagery is reminiscent of hay bales and windy Fall afternoons in the country.

The Last Names are a husband and wife duo consisting of Justin and Darbie Rice, who are also in Brooklyn’s, Bishop Allen. Though they have played together for years, the couple has released their first true collaborative effort called, Wilderness. The songs on this album are very much minimalistic yet are somehow full of life. The most noticeable quality of the record is Darbie’s air-y Azure Ray-esque vocals combined with Justin’s low, deep singing; creating an atmosphere that is akin to living in an enchanted forest. The guitar strumming and light fingerpicking gives this a feeling of a Country and 50’s sound. There is a calm to their music that can be attributed to bursts of lightcymbal-filled percussion, shakers, glockenspiel, handclaps and some melodica breakouts.

March 2013

Some of the tunes feel like lullabies; very sweet with lulling melodies and, “oohs,” added in for good measure. Other songs are plodding and full of catchy guitar solos and quick snare taps. Whether the song’s tempo is quick and playful or mellow and slightly inebriated, the entire album feels like a throwback to a simpler time. Their songs coolly combine elements of 90’s alternative rock with folk music from the 60’s and a twist of their own percussive flair and vocal flair. Every song builds a very beautiful image in the listener’s mind. The song, “Hush,” is a romantic song with gentle guitar strumming and ethereal, sincere vocals. It feels epic in its honesty and whispers and sways as Justin Rice sings with what sounds

The music plays like music in a film and it also just sounds happy; reflective of their musical relationship with the ability to build and feed off of one another as musicians. Whether the songs are about happy things, the people playing the music are so full of life and contentment with what they are doing. The ability to make your music completely at peace and still maintain a complexity so not to be boring is truly something to strive for and the Last Names absolutely accomplished that on this album. Their wilderness sounds like somewhere I want to live for eternity. And if the Last Names wants to play the soundtrack to my life there, they are more than welcome. More info can be found here at www.thelastnames.com – Lauren Piper

Further Fest 2012 @ Red Rocks Amphitheatre Morrison, Colorado To see any show at the Red Rocks amphitheater in Morrison, Colorado is a treat, as the amphitheater itself is built into a natural rock formation in the mountains overlooking the city of Denver. When you add Rock and Roll legends Bob Weir and Phil Lesh of the Grateful Dead and the rest of Further for three nights in a row, it becomes epic. I am recounting this tory through my own perspective, as somebody that hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really been into the Grateful Dead, Further, or any of the associated artists before very recently. I realized quickly that for many diehard fans, it was more like a

Dig This Real

Live Reviews

Photo Credit: Cindy Chisvette

religion and the love for this music has been shared and passed down through generations. Even tailgating in the parking lot was a show in itself. People from all over the world came from far and wide to see Further perform. Many were following them around on their cross country tour, selling handmade patches, buttons and bumper stickers along the way to get by. I meandered through a sea of tye dye as I heard classic Grateful Dead songs blaring from car stereos all across the parking lot and spaced out hippies asking for extra tickets (not to mention all the “tabs and doses” I was offered). The weather was still warm enough for long flowing skirts and tye dyed sun dresses. There were people of all ages, shapes, sizes and definitely colors. It was a great melting pot of people and music lovers alike. “Dead heads” are indeed their own subculture. What surprised me most about the show was the group of deaf people and the sign language interpreters on either side of the stage during the entire concert, all three days. I wondered out loud

March 2013

Furthur Fest con’t why a bunch of deal people would want to go to a concert in the first place and a random hippie passing by explained that they can follow along with the vibrations on the floor and by watching the interpreters. Further took the stage and kick started their three night show with, “Help On the Way,” immediately followed by, “Slip Knot.” The second set of the evening was jam packed with classics like, “Shake Down Street,” and, “Franklin’s Tower.” They even covered, “Hey Jude.” The crowd kept dancing throughout the five hour+ concert. It was so easy to get lost in the music. At one point I noticed I was dancing without even thinking or realizing it! Strangers were hugging me and trying to dance with me as if we had been friends for years. The sign language interpreters danced as they signed. I saw a very large man jiggling his gigantic beer belly to the rhythm of the music. Some even danced during inter-

the first 13 songs of set list, the first letter of each song spelled out, “Steal Your Face,” which is the name of a 1974 Grateful Dead album. The Sunday night show also began at 5:00pm instead of 7:00pm, so it was still light out when they opened with, “Sampson and Delilah.” I chatted with Further’s drummer, Joe Russo while backstage and he even confessed, “I liked Sunday’s show the best because we started when it’s still light out and I can actually see the audience…”

missions. Even at dance clubs, I haven’t seen as much dancing as I saw at Red Rocks for those three nights. The second night of the show was filled with even more enthusiasm and energy. As we stood in the amphitheater at dusk that evening, waiting for Further to take the stage, it began to drizzle a little but the weather quickly cleared up before the band opened the Saturday night show with a cover of, “Here Comes the Sun.” The endless dancing continued and Further played on with more classics such as, “Scarlet Begonias,” “Sugar Magnolia,” and “Fire On The Mountain.”

The whole three day extravaganza finally concluded with, “Brokedown Palace,” and a speech from bassist, Phil Lesh. He made this same speech at the end of each night of the Red Rocks shows as well as every show he performs in, in which he tells the story about a boy named Cody who donated his liver, thus saving Lesh’s life. He urges the audience to become organ donors and then thanks everyone for being a part of the special experience and for coming out to see the show.

You’d think a band would be exhausted by night three of a performance of this magnitude but they played with as much energy and skill as they did in the first set of the first night. They kept awake and alive until the very end. What was especially interesting was the set list for Sunday’s performance. For

Seeing Further was an experience like no other concert or performance I’ve ever seen. It’s not just about the music but the culture and atmosphere. I personally think that no matter what type of music a person prefers, anyone who truly loves music of any kind should get out and experience seeing Further live at some point in their lives. www.further.net

Photo Credit: Cindy Chisvette

- Cindy Chisvette

Dig This Real

Live Reviews

Dirty Projectors Wordless Music is a series devoted to putting together shows expressing a different side of the typical definition of “wordless.” The program showcases musicians and groups that create sounds reflective or portraying elements of wordlessness but illustrate that it can come in many forms. The shows take place at venues throughout Brooklyn and Manhattan and have featured artists such as Beirut, Do Make Say Think, Sigur Ros, Grizzly Bear, and Jeff Mangum.

Friday night at Carnegie Hall, Wordless Music featured Brooklyn’s Dirty Projectors and yMusic. In 2012, Dirty Projectors released their most recent album Swing Lo Magellan following their 2009 release Bitte Orca; David Longstreth’s masterful breakthrough displaying how he creates music in unexpected ways using instruments as well as vocals as a powerful tool for instrumentation, a wall of sound, and syncopation. Having seen the band previously in a less classy venue; an outdoor concert where they were dressed in white and crunched together on stage, it was impossible to imagine what they would be like performing here, on this world renowned stage. The opening act, yMusic, is a sixpiece outfit playing classical chamber music in a modern and youthful style. Disproving ideas of stodgy, classical sounds, yMusic incorporates proficiency with a love of the craft and an innovation that breaths a refreshing tone into a style of music that might be considered old-fashioned. yMusic is featured on Dirty Projectors’ Swing Lo Magellan, My Brightest Diamond’s All Things will Unwind, and continue to merge traditional

with yMusic @ Carnegie Hall, New York

elements with more outside the box artists. When Dirty Projectors first entered the stage, it was just David Longstreth on an acoustic guitar. He was then joined by the rest of the band including Amber Coffman on vocals and guitar, Haley Dekle on vocals, Nat Baldwin on bass, and for this show Michael Johnson on drums, and Olga Bell on keyboards and vocals. The band had plenty of room on this stage and they looked infinitesimal under the lights of the stage, yet so fancy. Surrounded by gold ornamentation throughout the theatre Dirty Projectors erupted straight into their puzzle piece orchestrations with “No Intention” off Bitte Orca. Their voices filled the stage, bouncing off the acoustic paneling and stunning the audience. With a variety of instruments including upright bass and several types of guitars, and stunning vocals Longstreth’s creations truly are a wordless form of music. The bleating guitar parts dance with the drums and they incorporate handclaps and other unique elements to replace what could be another instruments. In this setting, every piece of sound could be noticed, the female vocalist’s faces were full devotion and urgency, and David Longstreth’s smile brought everything together. The female harmonies dive and swell with as much complexity as the members from yMusic exhibited with their instruments. Imagine the syncopation of the plucking of strings recreated by three or four women producing different vowels at the same or different times. On top of all this there might be David Longstreth’s air-y, semi-falsetto voice, which in any other context might seem out of place, yet here, in this habitat he has created, it

is cradled by the bending and winding of string and wind instruments, supported by drums, and lifted upwards by the female vocals. They were accompanied on some songs by yMusic, who have the ability to play magnificent classical music and then add to the cacophony of sounds that makes up Dirty Projectors . On one song, the keys and the horns were sounding like something our parents would hate, yet when the vocals kicked in with an energetic upheaval, it somehow felt right. At one point, David Longstreth and yMusic were left on the stage alone and joined by Angel Deradoorian, a former member of Dirty Projectors. She sang “Two Doves” off of Bitte Orca, a haunting performance with the live orchestra. The band returned and she stayed on to perform songs from the Mount Wittenberg Orca EP, a collaboration with Björk. The band then got into their louder, electric songs of their most recent release, in other words, they rocked out. Upon walking up their regal steps of Carnegie Hall, the question had been if the band could pull off being on such an important, history-laden stage or if their unique sound would fall short. Friday night, Dirty Projectors demonstrated with complexity and passion, that they deserved to be there; they performed their beautiful, disjointed pieces with humbleness, sincerity, and a sense of wordlessness leaving their audience breathless. – Lauren Piper http://dirtyprojectors.net/ http://wordlessmusic.org/

Photo Credit: Lauren Piper

March 2013

RUSH

the Prudential Center Newark, New Jersey

The Holy Triumvirate Returns I snaked RUSH tickets at the last minute from the PRU Center’s VIP list. I have been bitching at the PRU center about the NHL lockout so I guess they wanted to placate me. I was in the VIP Box feeling much like Statler and Waldorf (without food or wine) waiting anxiously for the show to start. I was a little nervous about Rush going “steampunk,” but they did not disappoint! Rush ages like a fine wine... they just keep getting better. Where do I begin to explain the journey I experienced? This tour is Neal Peart’s baby, as the Clockwork Angels concept was his brainchild, a story focused on the battle between order and chaos. Author Kevin J. Anderson teamed up with Peart to write the novel, Clockwork

16 1

Angels. The three part film rolling at the start, intermission and after the encore played on the steampunk theme of putting Rush together. The film combined live actors, a cross between Monty Python and Tim Burton animation styles and a few creative Picasso-esque animations. The act opened with, “Subdivisions,” and what better way to start the show? Peart broke a drum skin, but I didn’t notice and neither did Malcolm (zine writer). I was scratching my head trying to figure out why the stage crew is laying underneath the kit. It wasn’t until the song was over that you knew for sure, there was a problem and not just something needing an adjustment on the rotating platform. The overhead

cameras showed incredible artistry and the construction of the kit while watching Peart move inhumanly creating heavenly sounds. The classics moved forward with a lot of classics including, “Force Ten,” and, “The Analog Kid.” The high energy, three hour show offered nearly the entire, Clockwork Angels album released in June 2012, with guest musicians entering stage for the second set creating the Clockwork Angels Orchestra. This classical string Octet was rocking the background bringing new depth to both old and new compositions. Let’s not forget the orchestra conductor who looking like the “mad professor” in the Watchmaster’s lab. This is not to distract from Alex Lifeson and Geddy Lee. Life-

Dig This Real

Live Reviews son’s solo was a lullaby sending you off to vision quest with this mythical journey until the pyrotechnics bring you back to your chair. Lee was the imp of laughter and joy as he joking with the entire crew. You could see big smiles on Lifeson’s and Lee’s face as they pounded out, “Red Sector A,” and, “YYZ.” As any die-hard fan knows, the final encore is always, “Tom Sawyer,” but there was a nice treat of a modified 2112 to wrap up the night. As far as concept tours, this one tells a story and I am looking forward to reading the book during my school break! FIRST SET Subdivisions The Big Money Force Ten Grand Designs Middletown Dreams

March 2013

Territories The Analog Kid The Pass Where’s My Thing? Far Cry SECOND SET (with the Clockwork Angels Strings) Caravan Clockwork Angels The Anarchist Carnies The Wreckers Headlong Flight Halo Effect Wish Them Well The Garden Dreamline Red Sector A YYZ The Spirit Of Radio

Neal Peart’s Kit http://www.youtube.com/ watch?feature=player_ embedded&v=g2R7vf3uZVA www.rush.com -

Angelica Wytch

ENCORE SET Tom Sawyer 21 12 Parts I, II, and VII

Photo Credit: Dean Keim

17 2

@ bergenPAC

Engelbert Humperdinck Englewood, New Jersey Man. What we do for our parents. My Mother had been bugging me to go with her to see Engelbert Humperdinck in concert for months. This is because my Grateful Dead loving Father told her to, “F - off,” when she first tapped him into going. I was already familiar with Humperdinck’s music because as a child, it was the music she played in the house alongside some Elton John. I figured, how bad could this be? Mr. Humperdinck is probably 100 years old and will need to break a few dozen times and by then Mom will lose her patience and want to leave. Mission accomplished. This is not what happened. After picking up Mom at her house, the State of New Jersey was still suffering from Hurricane Sandy, a cold, heartless gal who took no prisoners while trampling the Jersey shore, the Rockaways

and Staten Island. Everything else was cancelled, closed or offered a long line of people holding red fuel buckets at the corner gas stations. I was so sure that Humperdinck would have cancelled as well. But the show was still posted so we drove to Englewood to see Engelbert. This blustery evening sent a mean, nasty chill to my bones. I couldn›t wait to get inside. The weather temperature had dropped and it felt like mid-February and not early November. The first thing that I noticed as we approached the theatre, was the Humperdinck Caravan. Two major tour buses parked outside, shiny and screaming, ‘Rock Star, Mother Fuckers.’ A couple of age 20-something looking guys stumbled out of one of the vans and waltzed into the concert hall. As we approached the concert hall, it seemed almost impossible to get ourselves inside. Looking to see if there was a velvet rope set up, it turned out

that there were just too many people in the actual lobby not allowing us to get in right away. Humperdinck’s merch table was jam packed with fans buying stuff. It was worse than Target at midnight during the start of Black Friday. Finally pushing ourselves inside, I had forgotten to inform my Mother that our seats were upfront, fifth row, center. My reasoning was that she wouldn’t need her glasses and this placement should keep me awake for at least part one of this performance. The bergen PAC was buzzing with ladies all ranging from 45 years old to like, 90. I’m not joking. There were women in bad sweater combo outfits and gals in wheelchairs, oxygen tanks affixed to the back. I think I was the youngest one in the audience. Some women climbed over chairs to greet one another, either PTA associates or fan club buddies. It was like this big secret society and more than half creepily made up a mother-

Dig This Real

Live Reviews daughter combination. And before you could say, “Quendo Quendo Quendo,” at 8:05pm, the lights went out and the stage curtain went up. We were first greeted by the youngest looking band ever (expect for maybe the drummer and bassist). Nine musicians on stage total. Electric pianist, two guys playing horns, a bassist, a guitarist, two back-up singers and a music director/piano player. I was like, “wha?” They stood noodle-ing around for a second and then bam! Humperdinck emerged, standing six feet tall, dressed head to toe in black. He opened the show with the song, “Smooth,” by Santana/ Rob Thomas. Completely in his element, Humperdinck swayed back and forth, cooing to no one in particular, yet acknowledging his backing band. When the song was over, he turned his attention to his screaming, adoring fans. Some of the older gals jumped up faster than I could lift my tired eyelids. Humperdinck (actually born Arnold George Dorsey) is known for his slew of number one hits, “Release Me” and “The Last Waltz”, “After the Lovin’” and “A Man Without Love,” and of course, his stage prowler ability. As he continued on, his repertoire also included other songs like Bryan Adams’, “Ever Loved A Woman,” and a surprising version of James Blunt’s “Goodbye my Lover.” After a quick intro and nod to his music director (and pianist) and some bows from his backing band, the audience except for me, was whipped into submission. Ok, well, maybe I was just a teeny bit… The more I witnessed Humperdinck swagger like Jagger,

March 2013

the more I couldn’t take my eyes off him. The more he produced fresh red handkerchiefs from the back of his pants while taking stabs at Dean Martin (by the way, he does a great impersonation), while throwing around innuendoes of having a drinking problem, the more I started to elbow the old broad next to me in hopes of catching one of his sweat, saturated kerchiefs.

Talk about Fifty Shades of …. hair color.

By now, he had whizzed through all his hits and called a woman up to the stage. He stated that he needed someone to help him perform the next number and as the fan came closer, Humperdinck situated a chair center stage for her. Once seated, he gave her some sheet music to hold up for him to read/ sing. At this moment, he is using her eyeglasses to read the sheet while motioning that he hoped her husband wasn’t with her at tonight’s concert. It didn’t actually matter what song he was doing at this moment because by now he starting to mount the fan while he sang. Still straddling her, he then stopped and started kissing her – like deep, French kissing her. By then, the audience exploded into something short of a drugged infused dance rave.

But I was too slow and was about to be flattened by a swarm of ladies who feared the worst…that the show was coming to an end. Everyone bum rushed the stage.

“Mom, I dare you to throw your underwear up on stage,” I yell to my Mother, who, was either ignoring me or was just caught up in the chaos of the show. I then spent the amount of 5 whole minutes thinking of ways to loosen my bra so that I could do the deed.

After a couple of encores, I was in need of a cold shower and bed rest. As I dragged myself out of the concert hall, I was trampled by a group of Golden Gals as they gleefully trashed through the lobby in post ecstasy manner. Florida was looking pretty good for this old gal, as I silently vow that the next time Mr. Humperdinck is in town, not only will I go but I will be prepared. Game on, Grandmas. www.engelbert.com -

edie

Rock till’ You D

CMJ

ro p

Fest

NYC

DIIV

CMJ Music Marathon New York City October 15 –19th, 2012

by Dean Keim photos by Dean Keim and Angela Nguyen

The five day long College Music Journal Music Marathon takes over NYC every year and defines the term “rock till’ you drop,” filling countless live venues across the vast Big Apple with a diversity of music of every kind. It is one of the largest festivals of its kind in the country, and 2012 was to be one of the biggest celebrations of alternative music yet. This is an account of my travels through that wild week.

On Monday, day zero, or the day before the official start of the festivities, there was a free show that got so many of us in the wild-hearted spirit, called the Conflict Of Interest party, thrown at the midtown nightclub called Rebel NYC, DJ’ed and MC’ed by the archetypal wild party man that once coined the hard rocking song “Party Till You Puke,” Andrew WK. In the narrow hall flanked with dance cages set up high, filled up with a crew CMJ hard-liners, hipsters, and youngsters just looking for a good cheap party to get the blood racing for a long week of late nights and seriously fun paties. This show started off with a Michigan band called The Hounds Below, who, at many times, drew attention to their greenness, spilling how they had only been together since January, and that they only rehearsed a few songs, but, in the end, they poured out a great, slick, and pure form of riff-tastic

rock, with lots of catchy choruses, hard-hitting, rim shot-heavy drumming, rocking guitar solos, and frontman Jason Stollsteimer’s wonderful howls, so familiar from his his other band, The Von Bondies, electrifyed, but when they had time for one more, they busted out a jem cover of The Pixies’ “Where Is My Mind?,” jack-hammered out as though it were a chainsaw rather than an ice pick. The next band, Pacific Air, was a bit more of a letdown, especially as their debut EP Float has had so much buzz around it. Although they were certainly the most “dancey” act of the night, the crowd notably didn’t groove, and the brothers Ryan and Taylor Lawhon didn’t prove to be all that charismatic, as they kind of scowled through much of their set and seemingly missed some prime opportunities to bust out beyond the standard synth-heavy alt rock outfit sound. Team Spirit

Dig This Real

Bleeding Rainbow Savoir Adore

was far from being green or out of place, as these guys just rocked it out with a confidence, a quirkiness, and a coolness that greatly defines rock. Lead singer Ayad Al Adhamy belted out song after song through thick glasses fogged up beyond viewable limits, with great humor, charm, and a talent at getting the audience on their feet. The perfect cherry on top was the Brooklyn outfit Savoir Adore, whose frontman/guitarist Paul Hammer is majorly found of animated rock outs as well as kneeling down to create long distortion-heavy intros and outros, while the cute fairy-like frontwoman Deidre Muro, dressed in an aptly tiny black dress with lengthy white tassels that dangled low over her arms and legs, revealing a more somber and introverted presence, giving off an aura somewhere between Bjork and Mazzy Star’s Hope Sandoval within her sexy and forlorn parts, and she

March 2013

inevitably swooned her way into my heart many times. Their spacedout day-glow stage set gave it the appropriately interstellar look as they slowly raised their arms to the sky in unison while merging the new wave-styled dance groove, the poppy appeal and hooks, the rocking jams, the angelic harmonies, and the moody and arty sway that makes their album Our Nature an easy album to crush on.. Tuesday’s proper set-off of Day One, started off on Webster Hall’s smaller side stage, called the Marlin Room, with a band called Bleeding Rainbow, who all at once made sloppy seem cool again and defined the term “Lovable Mess.” Playing a raw and driving post-punk sound, they overcame many sound problems during their short set, as vocalist/ bassist Sarah Everton and vocalist/guitarist Rob Garcia and kicked up the sound meter to

ultra-extreme levels, the best part being when Sarah jumped down from the stage to bop around with a few enthusiastic fans up front and even rolled around on the floor with one them. Next, it was a swing uptown to catch the kings of the 2 Tone ska known as The English Beat, playing at the dinner club/music venue BB King NYC in Times Square. The founding velvet voicer and rhythm guitar skanker Dave Wakeling brought on the new wave sheen that brought the Western World to the classic roots raggae sound in the late 70’s, that was picked up by many of their contemporaries in the rock world from The Police to The Clash to The Specials to mention just a few. After only three albums, all packed with more classic modern music magic moments than any of us deserve, they split apart, going on to form other projects

CMJ Music Marathon like General Public and Fine Young Cannibals. Through the last decade or so there has been a US version of The Beat led by Wakeling, who brought on the hits here tonight. His warm charismatic glow proved to win over all in the room that night, getting most, if not all, out from behind their tables and down to the open central floor to shake their tail-feather to a cool skankin’ beat. He and his very impressive band made sure to break up their big hits like “Tears Of A Clown,” “Twist And Crawl,” “Can’t Stand Loosing You,” and “Save It For Later” throughout the set, peppering almost every other track with lesser-known, but often more beat-flavored brews to keep the energy of the floor up.They ended the show with their classic “Mirror In The Bathroom,” and that sent everyone into tizzy of sweaty dancing.

Blonds

Then it was down to the LES, to a small venue almost under the Williamsburg Bridge, down in the basement of a place called the Delancey, for a couple more bands that really had heat. There was a new NYC outfit called Blonds, headed up by the captivating Cari Rae, who might very well surprise you, as she looked head to toe

English Beat

punk, dressed in torn stockings, a shaved side semi-mohawk, lip piercings, and bringing lots of kickass rock poses, but with big beguiling eyes and a soulful voice set to passionate lyrics, she will probably both surprise and seduce you too. Her right-hand man, guitarist Jordy Asher lost a string mid-set, but and Cari had some trouble with some loud drunks in the back, but the set came off as perfectly bewitching. After that, came Brooklyn’s Laura Stevenson and The Cans, who enchant in a much more classically cute kind of way as Laura’s adorably pretty smile and soft-spoken and warm repertoire with the audience was a perfect setup for a sometimes folksy, sometimes country sound, but don’t let the tender parts fool you as you should be prepared for the beat to drop and guitars to roar as their jams can get quite heavy, spinning some from their last highly-reguarded release Sit Resist, as well as some band new cuts from an album set to drop in early 2013, and it all sounded naturally gorgeous. Wednesday, Day Three, heated up early, with an afternoon set at the CMJ Union by Interpol frontman Paul Banks, being recorded live

Laura Stevenson and the Cans

Dig This Real

Live Reviews CMJ Music Marathon for KEXP Radio. No, he didn’t play any of that other band’s stuff, but his solo stuff, like the impressive track “The Base,” was finely-crafted at high volume, and included with some from his last solo effort under the guise of Julian Plenti, his sound was clearly amongst the same gloomy and dark soundscape as his other band, although sometimes heavier on the beats. His distinctive baritone voice and brooding demeanor carried the whole set through as effortless and smooth as slipping into a robe made of Pink Floyd wool and Joy Division fibers. Yes, he was devilishly handsome dressed mostly in back (of course), with a shiny golden guitar and glimmering strap slung around his neck, and this blonde Brit-born Brooklynite does lure you in, singing himself and you into a deeply hypnotic state, which clearly had the crowded room captivated.

over the East River to stroll to The Brooklyn Bowl, where The Hype Machine were throwing a big CMJ party. JJAMZ opened up the show, and I’ll admit, it’s tough to get past their super sexy and sultry lead singer Z Berg, who strutted around in a classicly short white dress, looking (and often sounding) much like an early 80’s Deborah Harry with a certain aura of Marilyn Monroe, and just being a joy to photograph. I also liked that both guitarists also shared fronting duties on at least a song a piece, and all had a solid harmonic sense. Though catchy at times, they seemed to be looking for an edge to push it to the next level, but there was a great sound in there, also prevelant on their LP Suicide Pact, somewhere between the Blondie and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. A guy by the name

of Sua was up next, whom, as I gathered by his soft talking between numbers, was from Copenhagen. and spent most of his time behind a keyboard/DJ table, with only the occasional vocal layering in the heavy soundscape mix, but he did pop out and play acoustic guitar on a couple tracks, but all of it was far too quiet, and really didn’t fit smoothly into the show. Next was The Neighbourhood, whom revel in the cheesy LA/tough-guy/ homeboy posturing by their front man, and they end up being relentlessly repetitive, although they do have a couple catchy hits like “Sweater Weather.” Then Unknown Mortal Orchestra took over, and this power trio did not disappoint. With his guitar slung high almost under JJAMZ

After that, I made the short hop

Uknown Mortal Orchestrra

Paul Banks

March 2013

CMJ Music Marathon his chin, frontman Ruban Nielson powered through many majorly ambitious jams, smooth on the voice and a heavy on the psychedelics, their songs melded together effortlessly, often drifting into the next like a force of nature building up to the next perfect storm. They played plenty off their amazing self-titled debut, as well as some from their upcoming disc II, but I especially appreciated the inclusion of a cover of the early Syd Barrett-helmed Pink Floyd called “Lucifer Sam,” which here sounded more garage than surf psychedelic. We stuck around for The Virgins, who back in 2009, were one of those heavily buzzed NYC bands, with a slick punk take on the 80’s new wave sound that was such a hot mixture The Antlers

at that moment in time. They have lost some of their luster, and the vocals were pretty low (not really their fault), but frontman Donald Cumming led his five-man gang through some sharp sounding hooks and an overall impressive and energetic set. Thursday, Day Three, started off on the Upper West Side, with a show at one of NYC’s larger venues, Terminal 5, a warehouse/nightclub spot, whose excessive open space and many stocked bars per floor almost make up for a generally horrible sound quality. First up, was a band called Daughter, whom had me glued from the outset, with moderated drum beats played by fuzzy bass drum sticks, subdued by cloth over electronic and acoustic drum heads, undulating guitar hums, sometimes even played with a bow, and frontwoman and bassist Elena Tonra with her soft-spoken, but truly gripping presence, and a transfixing and hypnotic quality coupled with deeply engrossing lyrics and was just superb all around. With only one gorgeous release their belt, lat year’s His Young Heart EP, they are clearly a band to watch out for. Next was the Dum Dum Girls, who I’ve loved

for a long time and just dropped an impressive EP called End of Daze, but, after a slower Nico and Velvet Underground-sounding opener, their set had trouble breaking out of the repetitive, and their presence mostly hinged pompous “art school girls of doom” posing, as the four ladies really proved not to be that engaging with the audience. As solid as the songs were they were kind of boring all in all. Then, The Walkmen came on, and the place was suddenly awash with tearyeyed sentiment and sing-alongs at the top of your lungs with all your favorite anthems. Lead singer Hamilton Leithauser definitely could have won the best dressed prize for the festival, showing everyone how to make a suit look cool again, as he bellowed through song after song that sounded somewhere between a sloshed Irish drinking jingle (a la The Pogues), a sad lonely country song (like classic Hank Williams), and a garage rock version of REM, each song winding himself up from baritone wails to godly roars screamed to the sky. Many tracks off their new album Heaven were in Fred Armisen & Telekenesis

The Walkmen

Daughter Dum Dum Girls

Dig This Real

Live Reviews CMJ Music Marathon force, but I still found myself most enraptuered when they played classics like “Blue As Your Blood” and “In The New Year,” and the brilliantly aggressive “The Rat” as well as an encore of the sing-along favorite “We’ve Been Had,” which brought the house down. Afterward, I came back down to the LES to catch what I could of the Merge Records Showcase at the Mercury Lounge. Sole member Michael Benjamin Lerner of Telekinesis came out from behind his drum set and stated fittingly, “This is Telekinesis from Seattle,” as many of us were slack-jawed to see his bassist for the night was indeed SNL comedian Fred Armisen,

Jillette Johnson

March 2013

wearing his well-known black-rim glasses and a thick army coat and rocking a cool Paul McCartney-like bass. Lerner said a new album will be out in the beginning of 2013, and played at least a few cuts from it, but also admitted they hadn’t rehearsed much for this one-off show. Still, apart from a few missed starts and transitions, they really rocked a good show and the sloppiness didn’t seem to matter.

charmingly treated evetyone in the crowded little room to a delightfully seductive set that entranced everyone, despite akwardly having her back was to much of the place with a hauntingly chilly tone and deeply personal tomes reminding me of early Tori Amos or Fiona Apple, and with a new album called Whiskey & Frosting, she invited everyone to come drink some dark liqour at the bar afterwards.

Friday, Day Four, had an afternoon set at CMJ union by The Antlers, whose lead man Peter Silberman immersed the audience into total silence with his smoothly conjoured textures playing most of their new EP Undersea and at least one track from their praised Bust Apart LP from last year. I roamed the town that night in more free-form manner, letting the night take me where it wanted too, and I ended up being drawn towards the tiny restaurant in the West Village, with an even smaller back room/ stage area, where Jillette Johnson was playing a set, and if you don’t instantly see and hear her appeal, you think you must be truly dead inside. She was a vivid beauty, dressed in a blue bra barely covered by a battered old rock shirt. Making up for a late start due keyboard problems, she instead played “the wonderfully out of tune piano,” as she called it, already in the corner as a permanent fixture, and

The Deli’s two-floor showcase at Pianos on the Lower East, started with Foxygen packing in the downstairs.They also had some problems getting started, but with a silly little shuffle from a cute young tambourine player with calloused fingers from playing so many sets at CMJ and the tripped out lead singer Sam France looking like a young Syd Barrett in a fur-linned coat, they made spaciness their appeal, with in-between song rants

Foxygen

Field Mouse

CMJ Music Marathon like “I don’t even know where we are, are we in Brooklyn, or are we on Saturn?,” said with a bit of a Mick Jagger swagger, and with a pinch of bluegrass holla’, a sheen of glam rock slickness, and a drunken amount of classic space-rock brew, I was left liking these kids too. Upstairs, in the tiny coffee lounge, there was Field Mouse, a trio headed up by singer and guitarist Rachel Browne, who laid power harmonies into intense lyrics with a strength and urgency that easily took them beyond the shoegaze genre. Their new single “How Do I Know” may have become one of my favs of the year and I also see many great things in store for them. By the time I had gotten to Williamsburg, North 6th looked like a warzone had overtaken it, and Pitchfork was throwing a party in one such old barely converted warehouse space called Villain, attracting a huge bunch of crazed kids being fed free flavored vodka drinks all night, and I could tell things were gonna get crazy. DIIV, a

Brooklyn band, headed by Zachary Cole Smith (formerly of the Beach Fossils) who’s guitars circiled and twisted with lead vocalist Andrew Bailey as they swerved and stumbled abouts the stage, crafting an intense departure from anything you may have heard before. With a super trippy light show spewing abstract imagery further illuminated by undulating guitars creating extraterrestrial soundscapes, warbled vocals and rippling rhythms sounding like the cat calls of the angels, reminding me of The Cure mixed with the Beach Boys, this band still sets its own unique tone, and the overflowing crowd gobbled every delicious bite of it, as they pushed, shoved, bopped, and moshed to the alien rock sounds. Their debut Oshin has quickly become one of my very favorite albums of 2012 with songs like ”Sometime” and “Human,” and clearly these guys too are destined to become one of the big names in modern music, and got me to see them a record three times during my CMJ journey, as they were clearly everywhere I wanted to be. On Saturday, Day Five,

Brooklyn’s Public Assembly was throwing two showcases simultaneously, Consequence Of Sound’s CoSigns show, and, in the back room, a Happy Happy Birthday To Me showcase. The Athens, GA duo Eureka California opened up the back show, with a White Stripes recipe, Marie Uhler looking and sounding a lot like Meg behind the drum set and Jake Ward rockin the guitar up front, but their flavoring had a distinctly spicy, tasting more like a jambalaya than a stew. Brooklyn’s own The So So Glos moped up an early crowd up front, performing material from their new album Blowout as lead singer Alex Levine provoked the fan-filled crowd every chance he got. Beach Day was a trio “from Hollyweird,” sounding loke the Ronettes mixed with Raveonettes, and reminded heavily of another Hollywood band i love called Concrete Blonde. Singer/bassist Natalie was easy on the eyes and the ears, and there was a lot of catchy material in the mix. Hundred Waters, a band from Gainesville, Florida, had a distinctly loose improviserd sound, more mellow jazz than prog rock, but still constructively loose. Nicole Miglis was the gorgeous frontwoman who worked herself into a mesmerized state while chiming away on key-

Chalk & Numbers

Dig This Real

Live Reviews CMJ Music Marathon boards, playing the flute, or rapping on various percussions. Chalk & Numbers were a duo who dressed in what seemed to be makeshift red bellhop uniforms (while the rest of the band wore black), which seemed kinda silly, but with Andrew Pierce up front and center pounding away on drums and Sable Yong charming away as the dreamy Asian lead singer, they produced a great sound you might expect more from a classic Cali surf band than a Brooklyn alt rock band, but some-

how they made it work, and worked it hard. ORCA TEAM is a Seattle trio who is definitely worth catching, having a wonderfully echoed harmonic sound, driven by frontman and bassist Leif Anders’ softly reverberated vocals, sounding much like hearing fun 60’s beach party music played underwater, heard from inside a deep sea helmet at great depths. They all wore head to toe black and produced some awesomely mellow bouncy grooves, as Leif kept things playful and goofy throughout while guitarist Jessica B. smiled cutely while doing pirouettes and laying out beautifully crafted textures. Delicate Steve headed up by

the amazing Jersey guitarist Steve Marion rocked up the main room after, reminding me of some of those guitar god moments that rock used to have, mixed with a bit of Frank Zappa wackiness and producing a really fun show. The College Music Journal’s annual festival is truly a journey that is worth taking. You get to experience all corners of America’s largest and most diverse city while taking in some of the finest bands in modern music. If you do come, just bring your best hiking shoes and your boundless love of music. - Dean Keim

Beach Day

ORCA TEAM

Hundred Waters

March 2013

Delicate Steve

Cover Story

The Barbarellatones Everything you always wanted to know about sex, The Barbarellatones: But were afraid to ask. By edie Glam band, The Barbarellatones have been releasing music for about 10 years, surfing various waves of cross musical genres and in the center is Robbie Quine, guitarist/singer/frontman. At first glance, one might be quick to say that his band sounds like classical Garage while others hear early Beach Boys, due to the many references to sunny California, beach subculture and ever present surf guitar riffs. Even so, some may think Rocky Horror Picture Show, while others may think director James Whale. Whatever you think, there is one thing certain â&#x20AC;&#x201C; that on the surface, Quine offers some of the greatest or cleverly crafted songs ever recorded.

28 1

Dig This Real

The Barbarellatones March 2013

29 2

Cover Story Continued

But to truly understand the diamond in the rough that is known as a Barbarellatone tune and decipher the difference, one must travel through a ton of hot, sticky (and most likely, unprotected) teen-age prostitute sex, converse with unstable people losing their marbles (yet not crazy enough to forget to feed wild birds), travel through tales centered around a slew of cult heroes of sorts, (namely, Boris Karloff, Nina Hagen and Dolph Lundgren) and hope that a tube of Abreva will cut the healing time in half. To leave all inhibitions behind (no pun intended) and follow this path, one will be

greatly rewarded because aside from songs entitled, “Transvestobilly Boogie,” “Baby Wants a Corndog,” and “I Had Sex with a C.H.U.D.,” a mother lode of heart rendering songs can also be found, like the song, “Endless Journey,” where the music sways and builds definably, and the guitars start to sound more and more like bells chiming as Quine sings, “I want to thank the Earth for being such a gracious host.” It’s a most complex yet enticing contrast and not every musician/band can pull it off. Most genres of music, be it Rock, Blues, Glam, Surf, Punk,

etc., not only offer some form of entertainment but also extends an aural experience for those feeling misplaced; call them society’s misfits, if you will. Certain music was made to offend and challenge the listener and general public. While The Barbarellatones do just that, their music also serves as a salvation; a place to dream, dance and sing along with but for only those willing to stick around. To get to the core of Quine’s musical career, you will need to sleep over. Dig This Real had a chance to speak with Robbie Quine. Read on.

Dig This Real

The Barbarellatones Dig This Real: When did you first discover music? Did this spark an interest to start writing and playing music? Robbie Quine: I started playing guitar when I was 12, and it’s a little embarrassing to say, but my first album was The Monkees, ‘Last Train To Clarksville’ or something...I wish it was something a little cooler! But, one year later it got a lot cooler when I first heard Ziggy Stardust. Then I was forever changed....Quaaludes, Glam Rock and Rocky Horror sealed my fate! How many years have you been performing with/in/ fronting the Barbarellatones? Please explain the differences and similarities between your other band, Sex with Lurch and the Barbarellatones. I’ve been playing with The Barbarellatones for the past 10 years and I love it. My other Glam/Gothabilly band ‘Sex With Lurch’ was the same kind of beast. I love B-Movie, surf, horror, bad, very bad Sci-Fi mixed with Goth, Psychedelia and dark-folk. Hippy-Goth, for lack of a better term. A Barbarellatones cd delicately balances songs that are humorous and witty with ones that are weighty and emotionally genuine – would you say this is your natural process of putting together a collection or is it more of a thought process? I don’t usually approach an album with a strong theme. It usually just has a life of its own. The humor comes out. The wrist-slashers come out.

March 2013

The pretty and dreamy-er stuff comes out. The surf rock paddles out! In some ways it has probably hurt the band. The Goths don’t like our humorous songs. The stoners don’t really resonate with our Tranny Rock stuff. The surfers really don’t like that we aren’t really a stereotypical rock band....I guess we’re theatrical and a hybrid, just Art as far as I’m concerned. I just try to write good songs and focus on songwriting that passes my goose-bump test. Sometimes I pull it off....and sometimes I don’t! But I always try my best! How does a song happen for you?

Your song, “Misery,” can tug at the heart, especially when you sing, “My life is a dance/ Dance with me/Spiritual ecstasy.” But one could easily feel the same way when you sing, “You’ve been a crab since you got out of your third rehab and your Dad hates me/He threw me out of your trailer,” (from the song, “We’re Breaking Up.”). This seems to be the true Barbarellatones’ appeal but it is also a risky formula since listeners must stick around to fully get what is happening within your repertoire. How would you describe your music to someone who is a new listener?

I always start off a song strumming some chords on the guitar first. Whatever feeling the music brings up for me, I build on from there. To me, songwriting is being a story-teller to music. In a sad song, sometimes there are feelings of anger, abandonment.... even being mad at God when someone you love dies and especially if you never got to say goodbye. It is LOTS of different feelings, survivors guilt, etc. Anyone can scream in a song, it’s old and stale and overdone a lot I think. Tell me a story, something intimate and real sometimes.

Cover Story Continued Rock-n-Roll should be risky, right? Dangerous, sexy, sleazy, hypnotic, dreamy....sometimes other-worldly...! What percentage of your songs are true? And if true – have you ever regretted sharing a more personal side about you and someone else in your song(s)?

music come first, then lyrics? Does it start with an idea?

What do you draw upon for inspiration when needed?

I always write the music first, then the lyrics. I don’t think there’s a right-or-wrong way to compose. Every musician has their own style. Some people write poetry, then kind of put it to music. Whatever works…

My Inspiration is bad B-Movies, Drag Queens, Monsters, Surfing, Sex, Love, Life, God...my own experiences. Musically, probably, Bowie is my biggest influence. I love The Cramps, The Velvet Underground and I like a lot of Goth too. I also love Psychedelic bands like The Left Banke, The Byrds and a lot of George Harrison’s Hindu-Rock in The Beatles.

I write a lot of true songs. “Misery,” is a good example. It is autobiographical. I was a junkie for many ‘Miserable’ years. Anyone who has ever been dopesick or gone thru withdrawals from heroin and barbiturates will understand. I will often write songs to get my feelings out and I’m very, ‘out’ about being clean. It was like climbing out of the La Brea Tar Pits! So hard....I had a seizure in jail during the LA Riots, went to a rehab for 5 months and re-invented myself. I had to find a way to replace the false sense of hope and comfort from the drugs and it took a lot of work. I had to surrender my heart, expectations and basically everything to God. I had to re-unite with The Source. I have 20 years clean in AA.... fuckin’ love it. Such a gift. I was afraid I’d lose my weirdness...It was an unfounded fear. I am still weird as hell! I like writing personal songs. Isn’t that what Artists are supposed to do? Even some of the more playful songs are just another part of me too. I love camp. But I am not afraid to bear my soul in my songs.

You always include a cover song on each Barbarellatones’ album. Is this because you are a fan of the song or wish to put your musical stamp on the sound and arrangement of the original? I try to do a cover on almost every album....a song I really like with my own style on it. We did a really fun cover of RHPS, “Time Warp,” with 80’s songstress Josie Cotton that Rodney (Bingenheimer) played on KROQ. Some bands, like The Sisters Of Mercys’ cover of, “Gimme Shelter,” are just epic. Bowie’s, Pin Ups, is all covers and really great! Please introduce your band to our readers! I play guitar and sing, Aniela Perry is our BassBitch, Dave Arnson on Surf-Guitar, Sean Cyonide on Fuzz Guitar, Cullen Quine on Cello, Roy Staley on Drums and our Go-Go Dancer these days is Go-Go Bear.

When writing a song, does the

Dig This Real

The Barbarellatones Who is mainly responsible for the guitar work/arrangements in your music? I have had such great guitarists on my songs. I always play rhythm guitar, but on leads I’ve had Peter DiStefano (Porno For Pyros), Geza X, Bernard Yin (Sex With Lurch), Johnny Indovina (Human Drama), Craig Else and my current ‘flame’ Dave Arnson. You have been on a trend of nonstop albums for a few years now and there is nothing safe from being your song subject - will we see you slowing down anytime soon? No way...I can’t turn off the songwriting machine. I am starting a new album and I LOVE this new batch of songs. I hope to have an album done by fall. You have been working on a musical called, ‘Glitter Beach’. Could you please elaborate with us about this project? ‘Glitter Beach,’ is a musical I wrote with GnR ex-Manager Vicky Hamilton, who also used to manage my band, Sex With Lurch. We did a reading at The Blank Theater in Hollywood with Director Daniel Henning and sold out a 65 seater! Gotta start somewhere! The musical is very Rocky Horror-ish with a little bit of Beach Blanket Bingo mixed in! It’s really fun Glam-Surf. We are shopping it as we speak.

March 2013

You offer songs entitled, “Medicine Woman,” “Medicine Wheel,” “Endless Journey,” “Song for Siddhartha,” “Song for Babaji,” sharing a Zen-like side of you with us, the listeners… I am Hindu, and even when I was on heroin I always loved drone. It’s weird that I still like that style of music, but I guess some things never change. I like a hypnotic kind of sound and I know it’s not everyone’s cup of Earl Grey.

You are gorgeous (as well as being covered in a ton of sexy tattoos)! Give us some tips to look as good as you! What is your one beauty secret? Edie, you just put a big fuckin’ smile on my face! Thank you. I surf a lot and that helps. Good clean livin’ helps! And I really enjoy playing music. It’s a combination of my hobby and kind of therapy; Rock-n-Roll Therapy. A very powerful healing modality. When will we East Coasters, UK and South American readers and fans get a live piece of the Barbarellatones?

I would LOVE to tour, especially Japan. I just don’t want be in a fart-y van with my whole band shlepping from town to town eating at Taco Bell and staying in Motel 6’s. Rock-n- Roll is a young man’s (or woman’s) game. For more information go to: http://www.myspace. com/theofficialbarbarellatones You can obtain every cd by the Barbarellatones at cdbay.com

Cover Story A Neophyte’s guide to the Barbarellatones by edie Coldsore (2005) This collection makes for an excellent antidote for healing break ups, crack ups and break outs. With the opening track, “Coldsore,” the song moves like some sort of celebration to the herpes simplex virus. Other songs here, like, “Junkie Girlfriend,” is a tarnished love song where Robbie Quine sings about his love for drugs, his drug buddy and the Muse of Hope; that very hope he’ll kick.

Temple of Shiva (2008) On this collection, you will find not only, “Glitter Beach,” but, “Glitter Beach II,” and the way The Barbarellatones perform this surf music, twice is nice. Just remember, it’s hard to surf on ‘ludes. Ever wanted to learn French? You can, the red-neck way, by listening to track, “Trashe Du Blanc.” (if you want to be a white-trash Fashionista, continue on to, “Verk the Catwalk.”).

Confessions of a Teenage Prostitute (2011) Sonically, this title song is smoother than any car crash I’ve ever witnessed, especially the dialogue part mid-song; sucking sounds and all. “Sperm Whale,” is showered with bongos and a light acoustic guitar, with Quine singing in harmony, “When I’m hungry I can be a prick/Ten times crabbier than Moby Dick.” “Thick and Thin,” is an unexpected tune sandwiched in between the guitar fuzz of, “Do The Tranny Trot!”, and the elusively spacey, “Ziggy Starlust,” In this song, we hear Quine lament, “I want you back/It’s not God’s will.” I can bet a bright, pink boa that everyone has felt that before.

Beyond the Valley of the Barbarellatones (2005) On this release we find, “The Fire of Love,” a song that put the band on the map…well, at least at Exit 13 on the Jersey Turnpike, as it was featured in the Sopranos (the scene opens to a topless double-d pole dancer doing the shimmy in the Bada Bing Club). The chant-along, “Wicked Wahine,” as well as something for the beef lovers, “Baby Wants a Corndog,” can also be found on this cd.

Interview with a Glampire (2006)

Ninkon-poop, (in “Rocking in the Land of the Rising Sun”), where Quine rattles off a list of Japanese cultures and food like he’s reading a menu, making the listener hungry.

Glamour Puss (2005) If you couldn’t get enough of all things Japanese, this cd has the song, “Tokyo Cowboy,” along with the flighty, “Birdy Friends,” which allows the listener, to “tweet, tweet, tweet,” (and I’m not talking Twitter) along with the hiccupping rhythm of the song.

When Marionettes Kill... (2004) This cd was such a fave that it walked right out of the DTR office never to return (HATE that). 1910 Fruitgum Company’s, “Yummy Yummy Yummy,” is covered here where Quine and his Co., have the guitars sounding like cats meowing. The classic, “Rainbows N’ Razorblades,” is a brilliant song, offering sitars along the shuffling pace of raw guitars doting around the tune. The heartfelt, “Misery,” can be found on this as well. Quine delivers his vocals and it feels like he is sitting right beside you. Moving through this song is kind of hard to take, despite the sparkling guitars and string work. It’s probably Quine’s darkest song.

The Sound of Love (2011) Giving a firm nod to one of his heroes, Quine covers David Bowie’s, “Rebel Rebel.” Another personal favorite of mine, the song,“Dolph Lundgren,” was played to death to the point where a plumber who was working on our office bathroom could recite the entire song point blank (and he still makes mentions of this song when checking in with us). Just another example of how catchy and effective The Barbarellatones are and this song is no exception.

The Best of the Barbarellatones (2006) I could have cheated, skipping all the foreplay and just referred you to this cd (but you’d be missing out on Dolph and insane, menopausal mommys). This cd has 22 tunes; some true blue tear jerkers like, “Carole Ann,” a song about Quine’s Mother and the aforementioned, “Misery,” but it also has animal-themed songs, like, “Chocky,” the loveable, yet stinky feral cat, “Jaws!” (which is really about a monster surf wave), and “Birdy Friends.”

This cd has the bedwetting, nail biting, “Boris Karloff. It also pays homage to

All can be purchased at cdbaby.com

Dig This Real

Photo Credit: Andreas Laszlo Konrath Courtosy lovethisgiant.com

David Byrne & St. Vincent Love This Giant 4AD/Todo Mundo

Everything about David Byrne and St. Vincent’s latest collaboration, Love This Giant, is unique, down to the very packaging. The album is delivered in a clear plastic envelope with the pertinent information printed on it in white lettering. Inside the envelope, along with the cd itself, are three green cards. On two of them, we see spectral, embryonic faces looking back at us. On one of them, we see a human ear fashioned out of clay. None of this is ever explained and that’s the way it should be. Some might say that David Byrne could have farted into a microphone and the critical class would still declare it a work of genius and, indeed, some of the tuba parts sound like he did just that.

March 2013

However, Byrne, with a head of gray hair, and his young protégé have delivered that rare treasure – an opus that’s both avant-garde and deeply satisfying at the same time. The album begins with, “Who,” which features the Talking Heads alumnus and the Polyphonic Spree alumna trading idiosyncratic lines of romantic longing: “Who’ll share this taxi cab? Who wants to climb aboard?” Byrne finds time to brood over themes of aging (“I will not last. This too shall pass”) and the anthropological importance of mass media, (“I used to think that I should watch TV. I used to think that it was good for me”). But the centerpiece of the album is one that St. Vincent gets to sing, “Optimist.” Over a weirdly bubbly drum machine, stately horns and a dissonant guitar rocking away heedlessly in the background, Vincent sings about how awesome it feels to be young in the big city: “There’s no room for emptiness on a never empty street.” On any album, “Optimist,” might

sound corny. However, on this one, the artists earn their moment of pop abandon. The rest of the songs constantly challenge the listener. Hopelessly syncopated horn and vocal lines vie for the listener’s attention and the only harmonic filler are synthetic drones. One moment, we hear a gorgeous melody and the next we hear dissonant harmony and then distorted guitar. This is richly-textured sound – there’s Indie Rock, Big Band, Hip Hop, Oom-pah music and Funk, all thrown together in a very satisfying way. The different sounds do not cancel each other out, but create something that seems to be exponentially more than the sum of its odd parts. Byrne and Vincent are lighting up the blogosphere as we speak and Love This Giant deserves all the accolades. David Byrne has proven that he will thankfully neither age gracefully nor rest on his laurels, and St. Vincent has proven that she is a force to be reckoned with. www.lovethisgiant.com – Christian Recca

Andrew Handrick Distractions Dublin born Handrick offers a collection of songs that conquer up the alchemy of Nick Drake and Donovan. The ten songs here are done on acoustic guitar and are married with insightful and somewhat private lyrics. Somehow, though, I wouldn’t feel comfortable calling this Folk. I mean, is Jose Gonzales considered Folk? I wouldn’t call Handrick Neo Folk either. Regardless, the singer/ songwriter thing is strong here and this is what I love so much about Handrick. He successfully provides the listener with the education that less is better. Way better. The song, “Make It Right,” could had easily fit among the gems found on Cat Steven’s, Harold and Maude, soundtrack. The song, “Distractions,” moves a bit more faster and is coupled with soft harmonies running alongside the paced guitar strumming. Here he sings, “You had steps underground / You picked them out you knew them well,” and a little down the road, he sums up the feeling of the song with, “Some distractions take the place / Where lovers once played / No winners, no losers / Only love...” Well, some of us could only wish! “Forever,” has Handrick sounding like Nick Drake. His guitar playing is in a circular, hypnotic pattern. In, “Bourbon Smiles,” there is a whispering, lathering of harmonies that surrounds the chorus, “We cannot hide / These bourbon smiles / There’s nothing left / To leave behind / We cannot hide these bourbon smiles.” It adds a certain dizziness to this song. As the song closes this release, the listener is enveloped with an enjoyable sense

of solitudes. Handrick delivers these songs in a momentous manner. Per his press bio, Handrick lists The Jam and Dylan as influences and has relocated to Italy. Can’t wait to hear what he comes up with next. www.andrewhandrick.com - Edie

Dead Smiling Pirates Harvest on a Hype

It’s hard to dislike any band that has been working hard for five years. It’s even harder to hate on a band that is bringing some Rock and Roll music to a place that presumable needs it, namely Copenhagen, Denmark. However, Dead Smiling Pirates are not for everybody, particularly this critic. The Pirates’ sins are eminently forgivable, but that doesn’t make their album any more palatable. The first sin is a preponderance muddy vocal tracks. The opening track and lead single, “Dandruff Killer Punch,” makes the listener scratch his head. What the heck are they singing about? Being a hard Rock act, the Pirates are more concerned with making the guitars growl than they are with making the lyrics comprehensible, so it’s really hard to get any take on the meaning of this piece or any other piece. Clearly, the lyrics are about how everyone sells out (except the band), and clearly there is some sort of sarcastic edge to these lines, but, beyond that, the album is a haze. The second sin is a marked similarity between songs. As the tracks continue, it becomes harder and

harder to differentiate them; the band plays around with the softloud-soft dynamic that the Pixies supposedly originated all those years ago. This would work for one song, but, for a whole album, it starts to get a little annoying. The band tries for a kind of power ballad on, “VIP,” but the verses are more hard Rock and the chorus isn’t as tuneful as it has to be. By the next track, it’s back to the straight-ahead Rock. It’s all rather crunchy and stale. The third sin is a lack of virtuosity. If a band isn’t going to sound endearing rough around the edges, then it had better be polished and impressive. Unfortunately, Dead Smiling Pirates seem to want airplay, so they refuse to sound too loud or distorted, but they don’t have the chops to pull it off. They sound just like their heroes, bands like Paramour and the Foo Fighters, but without the gigantic hooks to embed their relatively mediocre songs into the listeners’ minds. The drums are immaculately mic’ed, but the drummer doesn’t come up with anything you’re not expecting. The guitarist takes few solos and his melodies are lost in the sea of distortion. The vocals lack range but, unlike other somewhat limited vocalists like Brian Fallon of Gaslight Anthem, they also lack the workingman’s grandeur that makes a virtue out of a limitation, No one’s taking any musical risks here; no one’s trying to play anything that they cannot nail and no one’s about to push the audience out of its light Metal comfort zone. In the end, despite descrying conformity (and offering their first album to be downloaded free of charge), the Pirates are not really pirates at all. This is not outlaw music. This is music for people who like to think they’re outlaws.

Dig This Real

Release Reviews It’s all a carefully constructed, carefully packaged affair: the only thing separating the Pirates from bands like Metallica is a lack of chops and melodic inspiration. The Pirates have all of the limitations of stadium Metal, but few of the virtues. At the same time, one is sure that their brand will catch on like wildfire in Denmark, where these guys might sound better than 95% of the other acts. However, in New York, in 2013, this just isn’t unique enough. www.deadsmilingpirates.com – Christian Recca

The Memorials Delirium Bloody Thirsty Unicorn

Sonically pleasing, one cannot dislike this release because there’s a little something for everyone. Trio, Viveca Hawkins (vocals), Thomas Pridgen (drums) and Nick Brewer (guitar) offer such diversity within only 8 tracks, it’s mind splitting. And talk about mind splitting, can you say, “Fluorescents Unforgiving?” A brilliant epic of a tune, Hawkins kicks and bashes her way around it vocally whether she’s jutting out lyrics at the speed of light or swaying to the loopy, spacey break found in the middle of the song. ”Daisies,” has Hawkins displaying a more silky vocal track, but the guitars take stabs while quickening pace with the drums, as she continues singing ala nursery rhymeish which is not only simple but downright brilliant. Tons of musical textures and unexpected hooks are found in each song. Turn them all into anthems, I say. I can guarantee that the Rock/Pop Gods will find The Memorials and grant them future perfeckt dream -like heavyweight success. And thank

March 2013

goodness for that. http://www.thememorialsmusic. com/ - Edie

Bob Mould

their historic roots. Sure, they may not deliver the same impact as those earlier works but part of that are different times. What comes come through is a genuine artist producing genuine material. www.bobmould.com – Nelson Heise

Silver Age Merge Records

Solid is perhaps the best word to describe Bob Mould’s latest release, Silver Age. From the get-go the tracks come at you aggressive and catchy, the vocals mixed as sort of a complimentary melody line so the power chord pop becomes the main attraction. The album is by no means a world-beater but better than your average bear, a less guttural version of Social Distortion. It’s a credit to Bob Mould to be able to continue to produce quality rock music that is clever and assertive, while not losing the purity of simple arrangements. While the opening track, “Star Machine,” is strong, it is the title track that really ups the ante. The groove is undeniable, and the delivery is punchy with some hurky-jerk moments in the main riff. “The Descent,” is designed to be the poppy ear catcher, but falls short in comparisons to the two previous tracks. Each track moves seamlessly through each other giving the whole works conceptual feel. Other standout tracks include, “Fugue State,” a hard-hitting contemplative track and, “Keep Believing,” which is probably the most straight punk rock feeling track. Like his contemporary Paul Westerberg, Bob Mould keeps delivering solid collections of tunes that have pop appeal, yet hold true to

Amanda Palmer & The Grand Theft Orchestra Theatre Is Evil 8 Ft. Records

If Lady Gaga and Courtney Love went out for some Mai Tais, got buzzed (but not dunk), decided to go record an album and somehow got David Bowie to sign on as a producer somewhere along the way, this is what it would sound like. From its gaudy pink packaging to its over-thetop insert photography, Theatre Is Evil, is loud, in your face and at certain points, kind of rocking. The production on the album is slick and there are many more layers to the sounds produced by Palmer and her band that one might think. That said, the true star of the record is Palmer herself who goes back and forth between an insecure girl with possible self-esteem issues and a full-fledged alpha woman. When she questions whether the listener wants to, “go home with a rockstar,” there’s never any doubt that the star is her and that, yeah, it might be a good idea to accept the offer. www.amandapalmer.net

– Evan Bleier

Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti Mature Themes 4AD

On its new album, Mature Themes, Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti establishes itself as the 21st Century incarnation of the B-52’s: a catchy joke band with a retro sensibility. And, like the B-52’s you either love it or hate it. For this critic, it depends on his mood. Lyrically, Ariel Pink is like that annoying kid from your lunch period: he’s always telling jokes to cover up some carefullyguarded insecurity. The album starts out with, “Kinski Assassin,” a sort of espionage fantasy that asks the epic question, “Who sank my battleship?” and rhymes the words, “blowjobs of death,” with, “hopped up on meth.” Other songs include odes to schnitzel and nymphomania. But then there’s the tile track, “Mature Themes,” which seems to be about an aging class clown trying to get his shit together. The protagonist wants to, “talk about mature themes,” and “to be good.” And then there’s, “Only In My Dreams,” a simple statement of unrequited longing. In the end, this blend of humor and pathos works well. As a band, the Graffiti may be Haunted but is only occasionally haunting. On the cheekier songs, the band is somewhat limited to mimicking certain bygone sounds associated with B-movies. On the nicer songs (including the legitimately catchy, “Live It Up”), Pink’s voice shows a limited range and a little too much affectation. The

harmonic instruments, guitar and keys, leave something to be desired: there aren’t any great soloists in this group. As for the production, it sounds like this may have been recorded in a somewhat limited studio: the vocals sound a little muddy and nothing really pops or shines. But on certain pieces like, “Driftwood,” and “Nostradamus and Me,” tricky little bass lines link up with idiosyncratic drums to lay down killer little grooves over atmospheric synthesizers. This same flair for syncopation can be heard in the moments of vocal counterpoint. And, most importantly, even the silliest of these songs gets tuck in your head. You’ll be singing, “My name is Ariel and I’m a nympho,” in public before you know it and louder than you realize. In the end, listening to the Haunted Graffiti (an experience one would recommend in a measured way) reminds this critic of his years in that seventh circle of social hell, an American high school. The critic once indulged certain thespian tendencies, and was forced to endure a rather irritation tradition during the cast parties. A young man who shall remain nameless liked to stand before the group and sing the entirety of Sir Mix A-Lot’s legendary meditation on booty, from memory. This critic would always squirm during this performance, amazed by the applause the rest of the cast was lavishing on this young man. And, while squirming, the critic would hate himself. It was like he could not allow himself to loosen up and laugh. If you can loosen up, this critic is sure that you’ll get a good laugh out of Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti.

www.myspace.com/arielpink. – Christian Recca

Bloc Party Four

Frenchkiss Records

The British indie band, Bloc Party has recently returned from hiatus and released their fourth album, appropriately titled, Four. The album, overall, is a mix of what sounds like typical teen angst or possibly a bunch of angry hipsters that just discovered an amateur sound mixing program. Listening to Four made me want to dye my hair black and join a cult. Although the lyrics are slightly more poetic than a typical angry teen rock band you’d hear on the radio, the instrumentals are redundant and repetitive. Kele Okereke and Russell Lissack, rhythm and lead guitar and the pioneers of Bloc Party, seem to be playing the same chords in every song. There seems to be no attempt at any kind of guitar solo in any of the songs. It’s all just a series of angry riffs and chords. The beginning of every song sounds all too similar. Only in the song, “Octopus,” does the guitar seem to come to life. Unfortunately, it’s also coupled with an annoying synthesizer and drum beat ringing in the background like a smoke detector that needs batteries. The drum beats alone sound artificial and synthesized throughout the whole album. Okereke has a solid voice but he mostly whines and screams. In, “Real Talk,” a more melan-

Dig This Real

Release Reviews choly and angry track, he does actually sing and not whine. He has a great voice and it’s unfortunate the album doesn’t have more of that. If what you’re looking for is musical talent and something to make your skin stand up on end, then I would not recommend Bloc Party’s, Four. However, the album is perfect for starting an epic mosh pit at the next underage basement show. www.blocparty.com – Cindy Chisvette

ful orchestrated with timpani drums, regal strings and whimsical flutes and bells. There are songs entitled, “Dancing knight’s tavern,” and “Little princess dancing in the castle,” and they do in fact create these images in the listener’s mind. “Dancing knight’s tavern” dances around with it’s bells and wind instruments creating a fun, light-hearted air, but then it slows down onto “Night walk in sleeping town,” which comes in with light plucking strings and sleepy violins creating a somewhat dark, but mostly night time atmosphere.

The instrumentals are very spot-on for the feelings AndersChildren and son seems to be trying to creFairy Tales ate. Some of the songs would be great for children’s make Christian believe, pretending to be in a Andersson castle and playing dress up. Other songs would be great adBearing a name ditions to a children’s naptime quite similar to the children’s mix. Other songs seem like they fairy tale writer, Hans Christian should be on soundtracks to a Anderson, Christian Andersson cartoon children’s movie inhas orchestrated his own fairy spired by Robin Hood and Alice tale-esque instrumental album and Wonderland. The sounds with songs twinkling and strum- are quite royal and regal, and ming, creating imagery of bards, plod along in a storytelling way, knights, princesses and butterresembling a similar style to flies. Appearing to be ominous Peter and the Wolf. Now if only and a bit terrifying, the album Christian Andersson would just cover contains three very dark write a children’s book to accharacters from children’s stocompany his album, he would ries playing instruments. One is be set. For more information, a mad hatter looking like Johnny please check out craze.se. Depp playing Willy Wonka, an– Lauren Piper other is a rabbit with coat tails playing a mandolin or ukulele, lastly is an elf of sorts playing Dinosaur Jr. the violin in a Robin Hood style hat and cut off shorts. They are I Bet On Sky standing on mushrooms in a Jagjaguwar scenic grassy forest with a blue I am late to the sky behind them. Dinosaur Jr. comeThe songs itself are not nearly back; I was aware that J. Mascis as creepy as the cover leads and crew were back with Farm, but for whatever reason this reone to believe, they are beauti-

March 2013

cord never found its way onto my iPod. So when the opportunity came around to give their second album from their return a listen, I was on top of it. What I found out was despite the – hiatus, Dinosaur Jr. comes back in true form. Heavy distortion, extended guitar solos and Mascis signature vocal styling’s, the raspy, dry voice that sounds eerily similar to another aging alt-rock hero, Frank Black. From the get go on the opening track “Don’t Pretend You Didn’t Know,” on travels back in time to the familiar sounds of Dinosaur Jr. classics like, “Green Mind,” and, “Where You Been?” The biggest difference really only being found in the production sound being slightly crisper, the track, “Almost Fare,” has a great guitar hook and more poppy then your normal Dinosaur Jr. unto the heavy chorus drives the song home. Perhaps the biggest disappointments come from the Lou Barlow written tracks (“Rude” & “Recognition”) that just sound out of place with the rest of the songs, and with the disc being only ten tracks long that can cause a noticeable distraction. “Rude,” is the stronger of the two tracks, but the Barlow’s voice and song structure are so distinctly different from Mascis it’s hard not to notice the interruption in the flow. As a whole, I Bet On Sky, is a strong record that relies on a familiar recipe of success. Dinosaur Jr. was/is a great indie band that delivers catchy, heavy tracks of melancholy. Their place in the history of alt-rock is earned and this record only adds more quality tunes to their respected catalog. For more info go to www.dinosaurjr.com – Nelson Heise

Green Day Uno!

Reprise

It’s hard to compare anything by Green Day to classic albums such as, Dookie, or Insomniac. Green Day is one of American’s most beloved punk bands gone mainstream. Some may say that they “sold out” or “cashed in.” That may be. They certainly evolved from writing songs about jerking off and smoking pot and graduated to political anti-war ballads but you can’t really blame a bunch of guys for growing up, can you? It can be said that, Uno!, the first in a trilogy of albums set to be released between the end of 2012 and early 2013, has gone back to their earlier punk roots. They left out the politics and went back to songs about getting wasted like, “Loss of Control,” and infatuation and lust like in, “Fell For You.” Green Day has still evolved as a band and that is quite apparent in Uno!. Now a quartet instead of the trio they started with back in the early 90’s, their sound is clearly more advanced and grown up. Jason White proves himself worthy as a second guitarist and Billie Joe Armstrong sounds slightly less like he’s got an upper respiratory infection when he sings. Minor changes like this are to be expected of a band that’s been in the business for as long as Green Day has. It’s hard to imagine there will ever be another album close to what Dookie was, but Uno! could most certainly be consid-

ered a reflection of their earlier work. Songs such as, “Carpe Diem,” and, “Sweet 16,” are clearly nostalgic references to the good old days of being young, dumb and out of control. Considering Uno! Is the first of three albums, it leaves listeners wondering whether the albums Dos! And Tres! Will be similar in the sense that they return to the bands earlier punk rock roots or if they mirror how the band has evolved over the last two seconds. I suppose we’ll have to stay tuned. www.greenday.com - Cindy Chisvette

Kristen Faulconer Phoenix

Kristen Faulconer offers a collection of tight rock, pop and dance songs that move with a slight air of unpredictability. Originally from Colorado and now in LA, Faulconer has the tough, slick rocker chick look but alas, this only squeaks in comparison due to being overshadowed by her big, unconfined voice. Yeah, she’s nice to look at until she opens her mouth. Swirling around this performer are polished, razor sharp guitars and accomplished drummers (both Chet McCracker formerly of the Doobie Brothers and Raymond Herrera founder of Fear Factory take turns on the skins), and when Faulconer steps to the mike, it’s all over. Squeaks, she does not. “Slow Down,” is the track to fall in love with for it has everything Hot Rod

Prada-like. It’s fast, a little messy and stylishly hot. Faulconer does great justice at the wheel as Herrera accompanies on the drums. This song showcases the many ranges Faulconer can achieve, including some killer harmonies. Got some pipes (sorry, just couldn’t resist the gearhead lingo), while singing, “While we’re moving so fast/we are losing everything/that’s the choice we made/we can’t go back in time.” “Dollhouse,” is an assaulting dance number overpowered with bass and blinding drum beats. Faulconer approaches this song a bit sing-songy and there is nothing ‘dolly’ about this song or Faulconer. This song is offered on her website with different remixes by a few different DJ’s. They are all worth checking out. Title track, “Phoenix,” opens with tons of guitars that part way for Faulconer’s pitch. This is a Rock classic. I am not going to dribble on and on about how damn catchy all her songs are. Faulconer has been keeping herself busy with several nominations; 2012 Reverbnation’s Indie Music Channel Awards for Best Rock Artist, 2012 Nominee and Finalist at the All Indie Music Awards for Best Rock Artist and in 2011, Nominee at the Hollywood Music and Media Awards in the Original Song-Video Game Category for song, “Slow Down,” on THQ’s International Video Game Alive: Mx vs. ATV. Faulconer also spends time managing an organization close to her heart called RAA or “Revolution Against Abuse.” An abuse victim herself, Faulconer fashions all her music on elements of empowerment, positive and uplifting. For more information, visit kristenfaulconer.net - Edie

Dig This Real

Release Reviews The Killers Battle Born Island

The Killers have always been considered much too well-produced and romantic to be truly cool. They have certainly written some awkward lines as well, from, “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier,” to “Are we human or are we dancers?” However, it’s also always been pretty clear that Brandon Flowers knows how to turn a phrase and that the boys behind him are well-educated in classic rock and also incredibly tight. And furthermore, who can deny, the first time, “Mr. Brightside,” came through the speakers, that he or she did not instinctively reach for the dial to turn that shit up? On their latest album, Battle Born, the Killers do little to vary their established formula, but the effect is still eminently satisfying. In fact, if you were in the right company, you might even say the album was great, lyrically and musically. The critic has a growing conviction that this is a kind of concept album. “Runaways,” the awesome lead single, lays out an overview. Young loves culminates with a shotgun wedding and eventually sours, resulting in divorce. In most of the subsequent songs, the protagonist deals with this loss. At first, he asks, “Can it be the way it was?” Then he declares, “Don’t want your picture on my cell phone/I want you here with me.” He tries to tell himself that it’s, “just a matter of time,” before he will get over her, but sometimes he just can’t help remem-

March 2013

bering. “Miss Atomic Bomb,” is the climax of the album, as nostalgia turns to longing: “It feels just like a dagger buried deep in your back…You should have seen your little face, burning for love, holding on for your life.” For better or worse, however, anger turns to acceptance: “You can’t deny it but you carry it with you/Down that cold lonely road in the shadow of the dark.” By the end of the album, the protagonist both congratulates himself for his resilience and learns a lesson: “And when they cause your soul to mourn/Remember what I said, ‘Boy, you was Battle Born.’” Like the best of concept albums, Battle Born isn’t perfect. “The Rising Tide,” for instance, seems to be about a veteran celebrity telling a young hopeful to brace for the coming storm. Indeed, all of these songs could have been intended to tell different stories. But that’s the beauty of them: they’re tied together conceptually by themes of loss, nostalgia, and resilience, but they’re loose enough so that anyone can project his or her personal drama onto them. Each of the millions will think this album was written just for him, or just for her. And did I mention that the music rocks? This band has thoroughly absorbed the cannon: there’s plenty of those Eighties sounds that the Killers became famous for, but there are also sonic allusions to the likes of the Velvet Underground, the Rolling Stones, and even the Flaming Lips. The band has the ability to both groove and to be truly anthemic—it makes for an alluring combination. While the players are not virtuosic, they’ve managed to create a fusion of

some 40 years of rock-and-roll, and they’re able to sound consistently interesting, nearly a decade into their career. In the end, there are many battles in life: people die, people cheat, there are recessions and oil spills and hurricanes. Childbirth itself is a battle and so, in a more literal way, we’re all battle born. Indeed, we cannot exorcise our demons; we have to carry them with us down that road that is indeed long and lonely and dark. And so, don’t beat yourself up about liking the Killers. They might not be cool but they very well might be great. If you’re in the company of hipsters, make sure to tell them you’ve been listening to the new David Byrne record. However, if you’re driving down the interstate at sunset, don’t be afraid to crank up Battle Born. Feel free to sing as loudly and as off-key as you would like. For more info check out www.thekillersmusic.com – Christian Recca

Radiolab Phantom Limbs EP

Straight out of Frederick, Maryland, Radiolab (made up of a singer and an instrumentalist/ programmer) is trying to make a modern sound to accompany lyrics with an ancient theme, dead end relationship in a deadend town. The album begins in an unappealing way: the drum loop is just a little off the beat, the syn-

thesized bass is just a little out of key, or is it the singer, who is forced to pout her way through the song because there aren’t many lyrics or much of a melody to work with? The listener ends up asking the same question singer/lyricist Meghan Redding used as the songs title: “Is this a joke?”

sound like a bad-ass but she’s so clearly not.

The tone gets even darker, if that’s possible on, “Spider Kiss.” When the cello starts to come in, you know things are getting heavy. The verses are pretty effective – Redding sounds like Grace Slick and the band holds back to rather After this song ends, the haunting effect, but when it listener isn’t eager to continue. comes time to let loose, they However, the title track, “Phan- just can’t seem to rock out. tom Limbs,” is a very pleasant As musicians, the members surprise. It’s developed around of Radiolab seem unsure of a rather insightful metaphor: themselves. If they were a longing for a lost lover is like little looser and a little wilder, tearing at a phantom limb. She Radiolab might have a shot of tells herself to stop reaching being on the radio. for what’s no longer there, but The bass sounds muddy she’s lying on what one imand the drums seem to be ages to be a cold basement horsing around on the beginfloor because nothing matters ning of, “All in the Mind,” but anymore. The problem is that pretty soon Radiolab slips this guy is kind of a douche. into the best groove of the He pushes her away because record. Some social scientist he’s in love with his own misery. She doesn’t ask for much, or preacher (in a recording that sounds like it was made de“Save a sliver of yourself for cades ago) lectures about conme.” This critic thinks she sciousness while the rhythm could do better. section slithers around the On, “Death Wish,” the band beat like a sexy Burmese Pyis back to its nihilistic technothon while synths and distorgoth boogie (courtesy of loop tion play around at the top of guru Dane di Pierro), but the the register. I can see Redding effect is much better than dancing to it alluringly in the that of the opener, partially basements of Maryland, giving because of better lyrics, Redthe bros something to really ding sings all about the varibelieve in. ous ways that she would like After the experiment conto see her lover kill himself. ducted in this Radiolab has She tells him to take some pills concluded, what are the rewith rye whiskey, stick a fork sults? Redding and di Pierro in a socket, and even take a may not have proven their bath with a toaster. And then hypothesis, but they’ve there’s just the way she sings opened up some promising the word, “no,” in the line, avenues for further research. “Don’t ever ask me to lie for you again, no.” She’s trying to Credit them for bringing some

interesting music to the cultural wasteland of suburban Maryland and for turning the lemons of failed emo relationships into goth-boogie lemonade. There are solid grooves here, as well as one truly great song. Let’s hope Radiolab stay together: we can use all of the creativity we can get in this world of phantom limbs, spider kisses and death wishes. Check it out for yourself at www.myspace.com/radiolabmusic. – Christian Recca

The Nearly Deads

Self-Titled EP The Nearly Deads are making their debut on the Alternative Rock music scene with their six track, self-titled EP. With the spirited and powerful lead vocals of Theresa Jeane, catchy guitar riffs and lyrics that females everywhere are going to use as Facebook statuses during a break up, this emerging band has a lot of potential. All of the songs here are catchy and easy for the average audience to relate to. Jeane holds her own as the face of the band. Her dominating voice, fierce attitude and beautiful, yet unique image, is certainly going to be what most people notice before anything else. She has set her band up to potentially be a very big deal in music as well

Dig This Real

Release Reviews to what Trent Reznor would sound like if he took up residence at a monastery in Nepal. The band has everything going for it: hundreds of radio stations playing their music, alumni from the Mars Volta and On the other hand, The Near- Nine Inch Nails itself working ly Dead could just as easily get behind the scenes, an incredlost in the wake of the many ibly tight rhythm section and other female fronted bands, a Buddhist banshee of a lead like Paramore and Evanessinger in AnnaMaria Pinna. cence. The problem is not that Everything about Vajra’s imthey lack talent but originality. age – from the satin gloves Songs like, “Reasons,” have Pinna wears in her headshot potential to be popular radio to the snake eating its own tail hits but could just as easily fall on the album cover – is perthrough the cracks, be confectly calibrated. And yet, the fused with similar sounding overall effect leaves one cold. bands, or even become just a The sad truth is, if this album is one hit wonder. enough to get the critics wetting themselves, something is The Nearly Deads are off to a great start with this EP so far probably rotten in the state of pop culture. but I see it as more of a work in progress. Songs like, “Fact If you didn’t know that Pinna or Friction,” dabble a little with was the progeny of a former a soft piano intro have that monk, that she had graduoriginality that could put them ated from Juilliard, that the ahead. “Reasons,” and “The band was formed when Pinna Perfect Cure,” have the budwas finding herself in India, ding future to be very memorable break up songs. With the one would easily overlook the sitar that pops out of the mix band currently in the studio, I on, “India,” and think of Vajra believe it’s safe to say, this is as just another group trying just the tip of the iceberg. to capture what bands like Linkin Park and Evanescence www.thenearlydeads.com have already captured. The – Christian Recca power chords, the operatic vocals, the ponderous bass lines, the drum fills like rolling thunder – this is cool sound, Vajra but it’s one that we’ve heard Pleroma before and not just once. If Vajra has been a great song is like a barely getting some controlled explosion, Vajras’s very enthusiassongs are like those scented tic press. The candles one can imagine were group has been compared lit in abundance during the, as herself as role model for young females. The band as a whole has great chemistry together and are creating a sound that is very pleasing to the common listener.

March 2013

Pleroma, sessions. They smell nice and give such lovely light, but they’re clearly not likely to cause any sizable conflagration. More fundamentally, all of the songs sound pretty much the same and none of them really stick in your head. If one did a little research, one could certainly find out what, “Vajra,” and “Pleroma,” meant. One might even find out what all of those vaguely ancient and foreign-looking letters on the album cover signify. However, it’s more than laziness that prevents the critic from checking these references. If one discovered some sort of mythological key, it might persuade one to think that this is a complex and interesting record. Well, the lyrics are swallowed in the mix and the music is, sadly, repetitive and derivative. But who cares what I have to say? In the end, Vajra has built up some momentum for itself. One of its songs is being played on Virgin America flights as we speak. There will surely be some disaffected teenagers who will fall in love with Pinna’s voice and spirit. However, if they dig a little deeper, they can find music that goes darker, that stings sharper, that soars more gloriously. Maybe Vajra will try to create a few more controlled explosions and few less scented candles on its next records. You’re on your own vajratemple.bandcamp.com/ – Christian Recca

Waves of Violet

Automaticity If one was to take the Meat Puppets, The Grateful Dead and Ween and mesh them together you would be close to getting the sound that pours out of the debut album, Automaticity, from Waves of Violet. Dripping with a psychedelic feel that finds its roots in the 60s sound. Waves of Violet make no qualms about their sound and agenda. They write in their bio that the songs were, “first takes,

on-the-fly solos, snap decisions that sustain the joy of creation in the moment.” One can sense that while listening to the disc and while the band proclaims a polished studio sound – it actually feels more like a live recording particularly with the drums which are Jazzy and slightly buried under the obvious main focus of the guitars. The album as a whole is very relaxing, with even the up-tempo moments like in the second track, “Island of Heaven,” not getting too heavy. There is an air of Jazz surrounding the whole collection that demonstrates the player’s skills. The vocals on

the other hand leave something to be desired. While their arrangements are clever and fun, there are several times when it sounds like the vocals slip in and out of key and the voices aren’t particularly strong which makes it even more distracting. The third track, “New Reality,” is a stronger pop-based track as well as, “American Dreaming.” As a whole, this is a jam album, with a lot of good instrumentation and if that’s your cup of tea, Waves of Violet deliver. For more info, check out www.wavesofviolet.com. – Nelson Heise

Carry our next issue in your store! Issue #19 is on the way! New print edition coming in Spring 2013! email us at info@digthisreal.com 44

Dig This Real

Dig This Reel

Beats, Rhymes and Life: The Travels of A Tribe Called Quest Sony Pictures Classics

March 2013

A Tribe Called Quest only released five albums in the 1990s. They never had any mainstream hit singles. They broke up nearly 15 years ago. How is it that this band is still able to sell out arenas in Japan and to headline major tours in the States? The answer, according to founding member Q-Tip, can be summed up in one word: truth. In a genre dominated by ego and flash, A Tribe Called Quest expressed self-affirmation, staying close to one’s roots, but holding lofty ideals, In the words of the band’s DJ, Ali Muhammed, what better reason is there for one to be remembered? It was truth, in the end, that brought the people, truth that paid the bills, Truth and those sick samples. The Tribe is made up of four individuals: Q-Tip, Phife Dawg, Ali Muhammed and Jarobi. Jarobi, who has had a revolving door relationship with the band since it first got big, is nevertheless the one who does the funny dances, who

makes the funny faces, who embodies the spirit of the group, It’s only fitting, then, that he couldn’t hang with after the inherent rules and responsibilities of stardom came to light. Ali Muhammed is the man who speaks with his hands. Eminently calm and soft-spoken, during the band’s most tumultuous moments, Muhammed stays firmly in the middle, getting defensive when one suggests that the break up was a bad idea. Since the band has ended, Muhammed has tried to produce other work but cannot shake the fact that everyone still wants him to be the man he was 15 years ago. Phife Diggy Dawg was the man who brought the group from Pluto back to the Moon (if not fully down to Earth). Phife came from a strictly religious, middle class background. He was forced to watch Soul Train behind his parent’s back. When he first heard Hip Hop, he was willing

Beats, Rhymes and Life: The Travels of A Tribe Called Quest con’t to sacrifice all of that. In the end, though, he wasn’t down for playing Tito to Q-Tip’s Michael. That, combined with some insensitivity Tip showed regarding Phife’s Type 2 diabetes, drove a wedge between the two MCs that has yet to heal. Q-Tip is somewhat of a mercurial figure, either the villain or the hero, Axl Rose or Charlie Parker, depending on your perspective. When he watched his Dad die of emphysema, Tip first felt the need to do something serious with his life. At the same time, he felt the need to listen to every Jazz, Funk, and R&B record released from 1955 to 1980. It would be these samples - a drum part here, a horn break there – that would be the greatest legacy of the group. In the words of Questlove (drummer of the Roots), Tip turned the Hip Hop community on to those records that were in your parent’s collection but you never listened to. At the same time, Tip’s eyebrows raise in what really looks like selfaccusation whenever you ask him about why the band broke up. As Phife says, you just can’t put your finger on Q-Tip. As a unit, the Tribe rose to fame quickly and serendipitously. Phife and Tip knew each other from

church and kiddy sports. Jarobi and Phife met while they waited for their turn to play basketball and started freestyling. Muhammed met Tip in high school. At the same school, Tip met two other young MCs, and their Uncle just happened to be a local rap impresario. They put some demos together and pretty soon they were being offered a $350,000 advance (which would be worth nearly double that today), a historic offer for a rookie Hip Hop artist or act. On the documentary, it all seems to happen overnight, but Tip and Phife had been rhyming together since they were nine. It’s not that they didn’t have to work hard; it’s just that it all felt so natural. The band’s greatest legacy is probably, The Low End Theory, which has been called, “the Sergeant Pepper of Hip Hop.” The sample budget was as large as the recording budget itself, and their A&R man had to nearly pry the finished record out of Q-Tip’s hands. In the words of no less than Pharrell Williams, none of the current darlings of the Rap world (people like Kanye West) would be anywhere without this record. Records like this, and De La Soul’s work, showed the world that Hip Hop could have subtlety and nuance

and moral uplift: “You don’t have to say, ‘fuck the Police.’ There’s a time for that and a group of that. You don’t have to say, ‘Fight the Power.”” In the end, the music is as colorful and variegated as the patterns on the band’s outfits – it may seem dorky at first, but, after a while, you realize it’s pretty cool. In one of the best scenes of the film, Busta Rhymes joins Quest in the studio and talks about how, Low End, left him in tears just a week ago. To see a commercially successful artist pay tribute to what are now relative unknowns makes one realize the cost of being a pioneer. The band still has one album left on its contract, but considering that Tip and Phife can’t even talk to each other four minutes before a gig, it might never get recorded. Tip will continue to bask in the spotlight, while Muhammed scrounges around for production work, Jarobi pursues the culinary arts and Phife obsesses about sports. They’ll probably never put the demons of 1998 to rest but, then again, people probably won’t ever stop marveling at the Technicolor dankness of their grooves. www.atribecalledquest.com – Christian Recca

Dig This Real

From the Foam Finger Committee one after another. Who usually competes in your events? There are a million different types of people. We have doctors, firefighters, policeman, your name it. What do your athletes do to hone their skills? Now in its 35 year of operation, the New York Arm Wrestling Association has been giving muscle-bound Empire State residents a chance to flex their biceps and impose their wills on opponents’ arms since 1977. The NY AWA is a registered not-forprofit sports organization in New York State and it produces and promotes arm wrestling events in all of the five boroughs, Long Island as well as upstate. th

Now in his late sixties, the association’s energetic founder and president, Gene Camp, still spends his days working to help advance the sport that he loves. In between trying to find a new venue for the 2012 Empire State Golden Arms Tournament of Champions (it was supposed to be held at the Port Authority before sponsorship issues arose) and plan out the NY AWA’s schedule for 2013, Camp certainly has his hands (or arms) full, but he still found a few moments to talk shop with DTR. The NY AWA has been around for a while. How did it begin? Camp: It started with me. I saw an arm wrestling tournament on Wide World of Sports in 1976 and decided to bring it to New York City. We had our first event in August of 1977 in a place called Sunnyside Gardens. Ever since then it was just

March 2013

We have a practice once a week for pros and amateurs. There’s some work on technique, but it’s mostly arm wrestling until guys wear their arms down and get sore. That’s what they want - build that arm up so they can do it all over again. How do people psych themselves up for facing an opponent? There’s a lot of intimidation going on. We don’t allow cursing but there’s a lot of smacking the table, shooting beady eyes, stuff like that. The point is to make the other person mentally vulnerable before the match even starts. A lot of times it works. So besides physical skill, there’s a mental aspect to arm wrestling as well? Of course, especially with beginners. If someone hasn’t competed before people are going to know that and try and intimidate them. Do you have a favorite match that you’ve seen? Probably a women’s match I saw that went on for four minutes. These two girls were really going at it and it was this blonde, Kerry Chapman, that won. It was exciting. You’ve seen a ton of fights. Can you usually predict the winner? You never know who’s going to

win in any weight class. We had a tournament at the Port Authority two years ago and this 150-pound Russian guy came down and beat everybody. You really can tell who’s going to show up or what they’re going to do. What’s the biggest event the NY AWA does? The New York State Big Apple Grapples is our premier event. The Empire State Championships are featured there and we have people coming from places like Puerto Rico, and Turkey to compete. It’s an International event. Since it’s an International sport, have you pitched the IOC about arm wrestling? We’ve tried but it hasn’t worked. It’s on their board but it hasn’t clicked yet. They’d rather have synchronized swimming I guess. UFC has gotten huge. Could you see arm wrestling becoming that popular? You’re never going to fill up Madison Square Garden for arm wrestling. We’ll fill a bar, the Port Authority or a festival though. Once people see arm wrestling, they want to compete. What’s the biggest thing people overlook about your sport? Anybody can compete regardless of age, sex, weight, dexterity or experience. It’s an alternative to your mainline sports. It’s a good alternative if you aren’t good at sports that require a ball. Anyone can get into it and the more you practice the better you get. For more information or sponsorship opportunities, visit nycarms.com. -

Evan Bleier

Kulture Shock:: MOCC I crept along the back and headed downstairs into an open room with framed pictures lining the white cement walls. This exhibit was the Permanent Collection of the Museum of American Illustration and was filled with various sketches and drawings from throughout history. My next stop was upstairs to the second floor where the MoCCA exhibit is. At the bottom of the narrow, winding staircase, a sign with the MoCCA mission statement faces the front door for

The Society of Illustrators and the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art Now protected and preserved by the Society of Illustrators, the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art has been moved from its location on Broadway to the Society’s building on East 63rd Street in Manhattan. After ten years at its second story SoHo location, MoCCA moved its assets to its current, more desirable street level location uptown. The Society of Illustrators now continues to host an exhibit of various comics and cartoons from the Sunday funny pages to famous super heroes and supports all of the MoCCA programs and events. You enter the museum through the gift shop which contains typical items that any gift shop would. There

are post cards, key chains, shot glasses, mugs, apparel, books and because it is a museum that celebrates art, sketch books and art supplies as well. As I poked around the gift shop, I waited for one of the cashiers in the small office located just to the right of the front entrance to stop me and take my admission. Much to my pleasant surprise, admission into the museum was free! I made my way straight toward the back, through a set of double doors and into a screening room. Since there was a private function in the screening room,

people to see as they enter the building. The sign states that, “It is the mission of MoCCA to promote the understanding and appreciate of comic and cartoon art along with the artistic, cultural, and historical impact of what is the world’s most popular art form. This gallery will feature rotating exhibitions that will include works from MoCCA, The Museum of American Illustration’s

Dig This Real

cartoons and comic strips lined the walls down the hallway, along the stairwell, and even in the bathroom. Many were accompanied with captions explaining the brief history and significant impact these works had on American society and the art community.

Permanent Collection, private and public collections, and guest curated exhibits.” The second floor featured a variety of comics and cartoons both vintage and modern. What first caught my eye was a 1913 Betty and Veronica in Suffering Suffragettes by Daniel S. DeCarlo. This was the early development of the Archie comics. Also featured on the walls of the MoCCA exhibit were a 1960 Hellboy, Little Orphan Annie, The Flintstones, and Beatle Bailey. There were several political cartoons and other artwork from newspapers and magazines along with a 1939 Marvel character, Sub-Mariner. Framed

March 2013

The third floor of the Society’s building was mostly devoted to the Hall of Fame Gallery and a restaurant. Unfortunately, the dining room was closed for a private event and I was not only unable to dine there but also could not sneak a peak of it either. However, I was fortunate enough to have a chance to speak with the director of the Society of Illustrators, Anelle Miller who filled me in on some fun facts about the Society and the building itself.

across tables and chairs. She explained these illustrations were done by those enrolled in the Summer Illustration Art Academy for Children. All of the illustrations were completed by children from age nine to thirteen. She informed me of many educational and scholarship programs the Society offered. The Society of Illustrators was formed in 1901 by nine different artists who got together with a common interest; their love of art. The building on East 63rd Street was purchased in 1939. Anelle proudly showed me a tile wall around a fireplace that she explained was worked on by several prominent artists of the time during World War II. Each tile features its own design. After ten years at its location on Broadway in Manhattan, MoCCA announced its plans to relocate to the Society’s building uptown in August of 2012. MoCCA President and members of the Society of Illustrators are all confident that this move and new union will be beneficial for both parties and those affiliated. For more information about visiting the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art or the society of illustrators, visit their website at www. societyillustrators.com. – Cindy Chisvette

She lead me to an office which had dozens of illustrations strewn Photo Credit: Cindy Chisvette

Dear Cthulhu, I hate my life. It sucks. My jobs are horrible, my marriage a nightmare, my wife is a harpy and I’m not even sure my kids are all mine. I want out. Not of life, but of my job, marriage, mortgage and the whole rat race. I know you are big on not breaking vows. I’m the same way, which is why I feel trapped. My wife hasn’t done anything that would justify divorce, at least nothing I’ve been able to prove but if I have to hear her nag and complain about me one more time, I may go postal. She doesn’t even work and I have two jobs that I hate, but I keep because there are bills I’m committed to paying. I work until I’m exhausted and too damn tired to enjoy anything while she sits at home on her big floppy old butt with a membership to the bonbon of the month club, yapping all day about her soaps and reality TV. When I get home, I have to do the dishes, cook the meals, do

the laundry and go grocery shopping. I can’t even remember the last time I was able to sit down and watch a show. Hell, I haven’t even had martial relations during this presidential term. Or the last. Still I haven’t cheated, even though there is a sluty woman at work who’s offered. I am freaking celibate all because of that damned marriage vow. I want out. My kids are in high school and have no plans to go to college. They don’t do anything, but text and won’t even speak to me unless they want something or money. They wouldn’t even notice I was gone until the cell phone carrier cut off their phone service. Am I justified in cutting my losses, forget about everyone and everything and heading for the hills? That would be better than stabbing my wife a dozen times and trying to hide the body right? -Homicidal Hubby In Hanover

Dear Hubby, First, do not kill your spouse – remember people should not kill people. That right belongs only to mighty Cthulhu. Next, take a deep breath. Cthulhu agrees with you. Your life does indeed suck, however you cannot blame your spouse for all of it. Marriage vows are a two way street, a partnership if you would. Both spouses must participate, if not equally, then at least equitably. You have allowed your wife to coast and not hold up her end of the agreement without consequence. Same with your offspring. They need to be taught to respect others and not handed things like cell phones without having to work for it. There is nothing wrong with working to support your spouse and offspring. It fact it is admirable, but only an idiot would do all that without getting something in return be it love, sex, respect, slave labor, or someone to torture.

Dig This Real

Normally, I would say vows must never be broken, but it sounds like all involved would be better off if you left. You would be better because with a chance to start over, perhaps you will stand up for yourself and demand from life that it give you more or you will bitch slap it. Your family will have to learn to be self-sufficient or face the consequences. Sadly, in your country they may simply be able to simply slide from your support to that of your government without having to do any more work than they are now. When Cthulhu one day rises to power, there will be no more welfare, no more something for nothing. Humans will have to prove their worth to Cthulhu or be destroyed, assuming I decide not to wipe the lot of you out. It will likely depend on my mood that day. Best for all humans to work on making themselves indispensable now while they still have time. Oddly enough, I find trapeze artists and clog dancers fascinating so acquiring these skills would be a good place to start.

Dear Cthulhu, My skinflint grandmother just kicked the bucket. She raised my sister and me when our teenage mother abandoned us to become a groupie and stalk Martha Stewart. The old bat never gave us a dime growing up. Everyone thought she was poor, including us. When they read the will, I went just for ha-has thinking maybe I’d get the TV and the microwave. The first thing the lawyer asked was who was going to take Granny’s yappy dog. “Yappy” is one mean, nasty dog.

March 2013

I’d call her a bitch but that would be disrespectful to bitches. I passed, but Sis said she’d take care of Yappy. She was always a soft touch, taking care of the mutt, cleaning the house, turning Granny so she didn’t get bedsores. Had I known, I would have fought Sis in a cage match for Yappy. Turns out by being such a skinflint, Granny had saved over a million bucks and her will said whoever took the dog, got the bucks. Sis got rich. I admit I acted badly and said some things I shouldn’t have. Sis pointed out that she had done everything around the house for the fifteen years we lived there, maintained straight A’s in school and still managed to do volunteer work and hold down a job to pay the bills granny was too cheap to pay herself while I did nothing but lounge around and party with my friends. I told her to go screw herself and give me half the cash or I’d pound the crap out of her. She got a restraining order, kicked me out on the street, then put the house up for sale and went off to college with Yappy in tow. One of my buddy’s took me in and let me sleep on his couch. I was too embarrassed to tell anybody about the money, so the folks in town assumed the house was up for sale to cover Granny’s debts and the bank had kicked me and sis out because of it. People raised money to help me pay off Granny’s funeral. She had wanted to be buried in the backyard in a hefty bag, but some legal thing stopped it.

Sis was softhearted again and paid it out of her inheritance so there was nothing to dish out. The church did a spaghetti dinner and raised three grand. The volunteer fire department did a fifty-fifty raffle and raised twenty five hundred for me. The winner gave me his ticket and his other half. Basically I got eight grand in cash for doing nothing. My question is - I can’t get arrested for fraud or nothing can I? I didn’t ask them to do any of this and I am destitute now without anyone to support me? Can I go on welfare? I mean technically I could work, but why bother if the government will give me money? I’ve never done anything except drop out of high school, so I’m not really qualified to do much, but I could sit on my butt and collect a check. Okay technically, I did get offered an entry-level job at the local factory by the same guy who gave me his winning ticket. It has benefits and he would train me, but it would involve work. Not for me. However, I would like more money. Could I somehow frame sis for being mean to Yappy? Maybe I could splice some stuff together that makes her look bad and put it up on MeTube. If I got a million hits on it, do you think the lawyer would take Granny’s money back from sis and give it to me? I’d take the dog too, although he might have an unfortunate accident soon after. I’d love to know what you think or if you have a better, easier plan. -Screwed Over By Dead Granny In Dorchester

Zine Corner

DEAR CTHULHu Dear Dorchester, This seems to be the column about people expecting to get something for nothing. The cult of Cthulhu would not be the twelfth fastest growing religion in the world if Cthulhu allowed his servants and worshippers to goof off and not strive constantly day and night, forsaking spouses, children and other family to work toward my greater glory.

Thug Life Activity Book Ja Rule let us know that every thug needs a lady, but apparently some thugs also need an activity book too. In a small black and white booklet commemorating one Hip-Hop’s all-time greats, Tupac Shakur, author Joe Sexton provides an array of games and puzzles that will keep any Death Row enthusiast entertained, for a hot minute at least. A crossword of Shakur-related terms, a maze where you help Pac get to his Mach 11 and portrait drawings of the man himself highlight a few of the book’s offerings. The Thug Life Activity Book is a product of Small Ghosts, a startup press run out of a closet in Calgary, AB, that operates as a for-pleasure as opposed to for-profit enterprise. Those interested in showing the bookmakers some California love can check them out on the web at smallghosts.ca.

In the rest of the world outside of my cult, things are far worse. Cthulhu blames not only the lazy, but a society that would allow generations to survive long enough to expect being taken care of as their birthright. A wise civilization would not give handouts, but instead train the masses with useful skills to take care of their ill, build their infrastructure, and serve their betters. Although your leaders have to at least make a show of pretending to work for the masses instead of the rich and the corporations that are their true masters. If they were actual leaders, their subjects would toil constantly for the betterment and enjoyment of those in power all the while convinced that they are happy, much like those in Cthulhu’s cult. For example we open each worship service with songs about Cthulhu’s greatness followed by a harem of virgin dancing girls and - if the stars are right -

con't

a human sacrifice or ten. And then we end with a nice brisket. You do not strike me as the type who could rise to power, so suggesting that you strive to alter human society for the betterment of the masses, or more importantly for Cthulhu, would be rather pointless. However you should forget trying to take back that which has been given to your sibling. As the terms of the will have already been fulfilled, a video, whether real or doctored, would change nothing about the distribution of wealth. Get off your slothful posterior and take the job that was offered to you and make something of yourself, at least as much as a human ever could. Have A Dark Day. Dear Cthulhu welcomes letters and questions at DearCthulhu@ dearcthulhu.com. All letters become the property of Dear Cthulhu and may be used in future columns. Dear Cthulhu a work of fiction and satire and is © and ™ Patrick Thomas. All rights reserved. Any one foolish enough to follow the advice does so at their own peril. For more Dear Cthulhu get the collections Dear Cthulhu: Have A Dark Day and Dear Cthulhu: Good Advice For Bad People from Dark Quest books.

– Evan Bleier

Dig This Real

Book Reviews The Drunk Diet-How I Lost 40 Pounds…Wasted cases, both. As a result, Carl became unhappy with his body, sick of his self-destructive cycle and vowed to make a change. That’s where the diet comes in. Carl details the way that he slowly and methodically broke his old eating habits and began switching over to healthy foods. Cheese went off the menu as did egg yolks, ketchup, greasy foods in general and most other delicacies that would be on the menu of a late-night party guy. He never really gives up drinking entirely but does sensible things like switching from beer to vodka and limiting his drinking so that he doesn’t get blitzed and overeat.

In, The Drunk Diet, Luc Carl details his experience going from a hard-rocking, hard-partying bartender with an addiction to alcohol and unhealthy food to a hard-rocking, hard-exercising bartender with an addiction to healthy food and staying in shape. The alcohol addiction may or may not have remained the same. When Carl first starts his tale, he’s living in Brooklyn, bloated and overweight, recently dumped by his girlfriend (who was rumored to be Stefani Germanotta, aka Lady Gaga) and struggling to keep his life together while cramming as much alcohol and partying into it as possible. Carl reveals he’s from the Midwest and originally moved to New York to pursue Rock & Roll dreams which quickly turned into a lifestyle that bordered on a nightmare. He would work late at one of his various jobs (making tacos, serving drinks, playing drums) and usually begin drinking Budweiser and whiskey soon thereafter. His boozing would usually lead to sloppy behavior or reckless eating and, in many

March 2013

Once he starts to drop the pounds because of his diet, Carl quickly becomes frustrated with the weight plateaus he keeps getting stuck at. He starts running and quickly moves on to running an 8K, then some half-marathons and eventually a full-fledged marathon. Mixed in with his running is biking, weight training and a ton of other exercising that it would be really hard to do while maintaining the level of drinking that he does. Woven throughout Carl’s story are his own tips for doing the exercises that he describes as well as glossary-style explanations of terms and expressions that might not be clear to the average reader. He definitely has a unique perspective on the world and the words he uses to describe it totally reflect that. Besides being foods that he most likely wouldn’t eat these days, a “cheeseburger,” is a “sloppy, cokedup trash bag,” a “french fry ,” is a “person who only eats small portions of food,” and “dirty ice cream,” is “a person of the opposite sex whose first impression is much better than average, but then spoiled by calling and texting too much.”

At the back of the book, there is a list of recipes that Carl relied upon during dieting days and still eats to this day. The recipes are ranked with a, ‘Bullshit Meter,’ with a 1 being a meal that is both healthy and easy to make and a 10 being a dish that is not really too good for you and a pain to prepare. Some classic “1’ dishes from his list are, “Luc FooYoung, Chicken and Vegetables in the Steamer,” and a shake called, “Rocket Fuel.” Luckily for those interested in dropping pounds, none of the dishes rated a “10.” The way Carl sees it, when faced with a hill, both figuratively and metaphorically, you have three choices: 1) Take a different route and avoid the hill 2) Give up and walk home 3) Kick that hill’s ass and prepare for the next one No matter where he goes from where his life is these days, Carl is clearly an option C kind of guy. The way he went about things many have been slightly unconventional and probably wouldn’t work for most, but for him, it was the only way he knew how. The way the book is written is similar; no frills, no flash but it gets it done. Those looking for a diet book should probably look elsewhere, but those who are looking for an inspirational weight-loss book could probably do worse – especially if they like their booze. Carl was scheduled to run the ING New York City Marathon last November. The marathon was cancelled due to Hurricane Sandy. He can be heard as a host on SiriusXM’s Hair Nation channel. Follow him on Twitter at @luccarl. -

Evan Bleier

Bandland Book One By Joseph Anthony Junior First time book author, Joseph Anthony Junior’s story is about two musical bands fighting for the coveted ‘best of’ title. The book opens with a Battle of the Bands competition but the predictably innocent high school drama quickly slips into a dark tale while showcasing emotional complications from unexpected places. In this story, the underdogs, a band called Purple Gem are constantly at arms with their slick, untrustworthy rivals - who take their band’s name, while flaunting the highest of egotistical fashion from the actual town everyone lives in - Further Beauty Lane. It seems that rarely anybody steps outside of Further Beauty High School and the park, which is the local hang out spot. So, how harmful could this be, you might ask? Well, before you can start singing the words to, “A Boy Like That,” from West Side Story, the Storyteller’s pace kicks into high gear as the reader is led on a twisted, urgent ride, making this a page turning experience. Throughout the book, Junior chants over and over again, “this is bandland.” He closes each chapter with these words as to conjure some messy black magic, attracting only a secret society of musicians that have earned their talent through blood currency. A bit melodramatic one might think and I’m not even sure that these words

are effective since the story line unfolds with more hooks than a Fish Altieri song. To throw an unexpected curve into the story, we are introduced to Toni Ann who serves as a muse of sorts. At times you want to cheer her on. At other times you want to pull her hair while giving her a nice hard shove into a locker. This may be because she embodies the student you wish you either hung out with while in school, or, better yet, were. Junior is a gifted writer. He doesn’t take a hard side to anything while keeping true to the story. He also adds brief creative descriptions to the scenes allowing an emotional attachment to form. Dig This Real had a moment to chat with him. Here’s what he had to say: Dig This Real: We at DTR have been huge fans of your music! So thanks for letting us call you out as Fish Altieri! We were obviously first introduced to your work through your music and performances as Fish Altieri… Joseph Anthony Junior: I’m not being self deprecatingly precious or anything but thank you for thinking that it would matter! If I recall the state of mind 6 months ago I think a new name to go with a new creative endeavor felt right. Having different aliases for different projects feels exciting; different outfits for different moods perhaps? I don’t kid myself though, outside of a few hundred people scattered across NYC nobody knows either Fish Altieri or Joseph Anthony Junior…for now! Haha! I can dream! I will always keep writing and recording

music. For now I have a YouTube page (Fish Altieri) where I publish all songs plus the three cds I released for anyone who wants to listen. Easy to find on the web… Would it be safe to say that the readers of this book may find a little bit of then musician Fish Altieri in both bands; Further Beauty Lane and Purple Gem? In only the most general terms; they are all dreamers and both bands live for nothing else but the band. That was me in high school. Which band best describes a Fish Altieri “band?” Oh, Purple Gem. They are kind of popular in their world but looking in on the outside too. What inspired you to write this book? For the last 17 years I have been writing a music/bar/restaurant/opinion column for The Bronx Times Reporter. So the actual act of writing comes easy. Like many, my need to create has only grown BUT my energy and expenses to actually SHOW UP have dwindled! I see self publishing and eBooks as something that not only is not going away, but will only grow with time. It is also pretty easy to do it yourself; almost no overhead. The hardest part is the actual writing which, as I say, I find pretty easy and extremely gratifying. At the moment only a few hundred or so copies sold but the beauty of publishing an eBook is it’s there forever if I want.

Dig This Real

Book Reviews Please explain the differences (you experienced) between creating a song or recording as opposed to penning a book. For me I’m extremely confident with song writing. With fiction writing I don’t know if I created something good or bad. Other than that, writing 25,000 words, re-reading them, editing, re-reading again, editing again takes a lot more discipline and organization than belting out a solid 3 minute pop song. Will there be a 2nd installment of Bandland? Yes! I hope to have BandLand Book Two published by the end of 2013. Whether people even want it or not doesn’t matter since the relaxation I felt writing it will make me continue creating the BandLand universe. So jump on board now! What kind of response have you received with the release of this book? Waiting for someone to read a book you wrote is a much longer wait then playing them an original song and getting an instant reaction. I’m in this for the long haul. So far the people who have read it like it for all the reasons I hoped they would but, the truth is, more people have bought it then have left reviews or let me know what they thought. I’m not sure if they haven’t gotten around to reading it OR they have read it and don’t like it and don’t want to say. Only time will tell. That’s the big difference between songwriting and book

March 2013

writing; in book writing there is no instant gratification that you would get on the stage. On the other hand if they are reading it in their bedroom and booing and hissing I don’t hear THAT either. Of course I have a great fear of being a pest so I never would ask anyone, “Have you read my book? Have you read my book?” Needless to say the best feeling is when someone brings it up randomly and says how much they liked it or asks about characters. BandLand is currently exclusive to Amazon.com. It can be read on the Kindle. Amazon also has the free Kindle Apps for almost any type of tech device. The book is purposely published at Amazon’s lowest price point of .99 cents. Just go to Amazon and search BandLand and/or Joseph Anthony Junior. You’ll be glad you did. - edie

Clockwork Angels: The Novel By Kevin J. Anderson and Neil Pearl ECW Press If you were born after 1981, this may be your one and only chance to experience one of the most unique occurrences in popular music as it happens: the concept album and accompanying book (or vice-versa, whichever you prefer). Based on a story by Neil Pearl, “percussionist extraordinaire,” for the band Rush, the album and book track each other more or less

faithfully. The protagonist is one Owen Hardy, a young man coming of age in the pastoral town of Barrel Arbor, who is leading the predictably rural life where it is expected he will soon become the assistant orchard manager, following in the footsteps of his father Anton, the present orchard manager. He will presumably marry his sweetheart Livinia Paquette and raise up a fine batch of children who along with their descendants will manage the orchard long after he is gone. But Owen, or course, has other ideas which take him on a wild adventure, placing him in a philosophical tug-of-war between The Watchmaker and The Anarchist (D’Angelo Misteriosi by name), literal incarnations of total conformity and its polar opposite.

If the story sounds familiar, it is. In the novel’s afterword, Peart explains that the basic story arc is that of Voltaire’s, “Candide,” with some Joseph Conrad and Michael Ondaatje thrown in to flesh out the Anarchist character. The Uberliterate Mr. Peart* also acknowledges a veritable Pantheon of other writers who influenced the settings and other aspects of the novel. While I labored to get through Candide, I find this retelling far more approachable. With its primitivistic as well as aforementioned pastoral appeal, the steampunk interpretation of The Watchmaker’s world was a novel (please forgive the terrible pun – it must be catching – see below) and unique setting for the exposition for someone coming from a classical literature background, but probably de riguer for regular readers of Kevin J. Anderson, who based

the novel on Peart’s interpretation of Voltaire (re-read that on if you need to, I sure did!).

liner notes as a framework for the imagination (“where and if necessary”).

With illustrations by Hugh Syme that are literally fantastic, the novel’s visual appeal will satisfy all but the most hardcore consumer of hand illustrated fan fiction. Yes, in the end this novel is mass market product, but I obviously enjoyed it in spite of my inherent cynicism with regard to concept art.

I had heard the album before reading the novel, and now understand that, “Halo Effect,” and, “Headlong Flight,” were meant as standalone songs, and not part of the musical interpretation of the story. This was the only point of confusion on my part and I mention it here for those who will be listening to the album as intently as was I.

In fact, my only peeve with the novel was Anderson’s awkward references to Rush lyrics. These gave me what my friend Melvin Bradley refers to as, “douche chills,” wherein one gets chills of embarrassment for the “douche” behavior on the part of another. I do not wish to cite examples as it will lessen the impact on the reader. In fact the only things missing were to discover that D’Angelo Misteriosi hails from La Villa Strangiata or that on the date Peart and Anderson began the project (17 August 2010) the stars were aligned , the gods were not malign. I could go on all day this way as well, but unlike the aforementioned perpetrators, I shall spare you with only two. As for the album, this is Rush in all their progressive rock (and I do mean ROCK) glory. If you came in at the Permanent Waves album or later, you have not completed the required listening. Consider the album a musical “Cliff Notes” of the novel (where was that when I was in high school?), using the

For those of you who enjoy the “classical” Progressive Rock of Yes, Genesis and early Rush (insert your own “Colbert Report” joke here), you will find this a most accessible and enjoyable tour “de force” of Rush timbral repertoire. As for the rest of you, I regret to inform you that you have some homework this weekend… Speaking of which – to any high school teachers who may even THINK of assigning, “Candide,” please give them this instead! After all, if 2112 could inspire Sebastian Bach to read Ayn Rand’s, The Fountainhead, perhaps this might rescue one of your marginal students from Skid Row (sorry, but in my defense, as an awkward reference it was neither to Rush nor their lyrics!). To the University of Toronto: As you are constantly on the lookout for candidates on which to bestow your laurels, may I humbly propose that you consider Neil Peart for a Doc

torate of Letters, given that he truly is a “Roads*” scholar. *Mr. Peart and Mr. Anderson: don’t blame me. You started it (nyeah, nyeah – nyeah, nyeah, nyeah! Pbpbpbhhhhhthhhhht)! www.rush.com -/y (Malcolm Y. Knotte)

In Heaven Everything is Fine: The Unsolved Life of Peter Ivers and the Lost History of New Wave Theatre By Josh Frank and Charles Buckholtz Soft Skull Press Peter Ivers was supposed to be big. In elementary school, he tested at genius levels. For college, he went to Harvard. While there, he became best friends with Doug Kenney, the man partially responsible for the rise of the National Lampoon, as well as movies such as Animal House and Caddyshack. About a minute after he picked up an instrument, he found himself signed to a record label, and Muddy Waters himself once deemed him the greatest harmonica player in the world. When he graduated, he moved

Dig This Real

Book Reviews to Hollywood along with his girlfriend, Kenney and a bunch of oversexed, inebriated and yet dewy-eyed hopefuls. Needless to say, the future looked quite bright for Ivers. However, Ivers’ career turned out to mostly be all talk. His first album, Knight of the Blue Communion, was too weird even for 1969. His second album was never released. His third album, Terminal Love, barely broke the surface of public consciousness, despite lines like, “Even Stephen Foster would have lost her.” Ivers spent the rest of the 70s making more and more new friends, watching them become famous, but never getting to become famous himself. A young David Lynch admired a rare Blues album in Ivers’ collection and pretty soon they were collaborating on, “In Heaven,” the musical centerpiece of Lynch’s disturbing masterpiece, Eraserhead. When Devo showed up at a midnight screening, they liked the song and started playing it in concert. From Kenney, Ivers made friends like John Belushi and Harold Ramis. As the 70s drew to a close, Ivers was struggling to stage a concept album when he was approached by Dave Jove to host a punk music showcase entitled New Wave Theatre. David Jove had something of a checkered past. He was supposedly the man who turned John Lennon on to acid and was apparently hired by the British government to set up the Redlands bust, after which Mick Jagger and Keith Richards almost went to jail. After that

March 2013

fiasco, Jove tried to disappear. He eventually landed in L.A. and became enamored of the hardcore punk that was gaining popularity at the time. He also became enamored of the music video, then in its very infancy, and saw in it all sorts of potential for fulfilling the promise of the 60s. And then, through a mutual friend, Jove met Ivers, who may have been the only person in Los Angeles hip enough to get what Jove was trying to do. New Wave Theatre was the height of cool in the early 1980s. The graphics look quaint today, but one marvels at the hours Jove must have spent cutting and pasting them together. And the monologues – it would be social suicide today to betray such hope for our cultural future. The list of bands reads like a who’s – who of hardcore: Fear, The Circle Jerks, 45 Grave, Black Flag, the Mentors, Anthem (featuring a teenage Anthony Kiedis and Flea) and on and on and on. And yet, none of it would have held together without Ivers. Ivers was the one who invested the monologues with so much confidence that they actually made sense. And he would also try to get philosophical with the punks, which always made them fascinatingly uncomfortable. In one clip, just after 45 Grave (clad in executioner’s hoods but no shirts) had finished ripping through the cheerful tune, “Get Up and Die,” Ivers, effeminate but undeterred, asks the group what they thought of New Wave Mu-

sic. The group responded with, “New Wave sucks…Rape Rock rules.” After so many years, and in a very strange way, Peter Ivers was finally a star. However, as Jove became more and more obsessed with the show (and coked out), Ivers started to get some other offers. He started collaborating on Pop songs to sell to established artists. He co-wrote the treatment for a film that was optioned for development. It soon became clear that Peter – a Harvard kid, for goodness’ sake – did not belong with the headbangers and speed freaks. One day, he told Jove he quit. The next day, he was found dead in his loft. The book never solves the mystery of, “Who killed Peter Ivers?” but it certainly shows us who he was. Ivers was a man blessed with infinite supplies of charm but haunted by his own sense of failure. He was a man who found his own small success in the end, just to be brutally murdered, and ignored by the police as summarily as he had been ignored by society at large. But, in the end, he was a man who would always force a smile, who would never give in to the demons that so persistently dogged him. The value of this book, which this reviewer highly recommends is partially in unearthing a heretofore unknown chapter of pop history. However, the value also lies in the tale of a man with great potential who never made it and who learned to deal with that. – Christian Recca

switcher with handmade Lionel markings. Lionel, LLC has been around for a long time, Waging Heavy and apparently, Young has a Peace small share in the model train Blue Rider Press company. A line of trains came out featuring an all-new digital When a sound system that he created music lover with true to life train sounds. He chooses to also contributed the Trainmasread an autobiography by a musician they admire, it is typi- ter Command Control, which cally to understand their music, allows the trains to be operated by remote control. The how they got started and to get to know the man or woman remote control for the train was inspired by his son, Ben, whom behind the music. In openYoung reveals was born with ing up, Waging Heavy Peace, Young reveals a lot that people Cerebral Palsy and is a quadriplegic; confined to a wheelchair may not know unless they go and the necessity of needing trolling the music forums and switches and buttons to funcmessageboards. tion. He discusses his love of working on the trains with his For instance, he detests the sound quality of streaming and son as well as his pride. Young even dedicates the book to downloadable music and has Ben Young, â&#x20AC;&#x153;my Hero, my Wartaken it into his own hands to bring lossless sound to the next rior.â&#x20AC;? Another surprising detail is that his first son (to a different level. He plans to market what mother) Zeke, was thought to he calls PureTone, a technolalso have had Cerebral Palsy. ogy that would seemingly give But it is discovered that Zeke digitally streaming music the sound quality of a record at not had a stroke at birth. Youngâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only 192 kHz but also 384 kHz. wife, Pegi, is also a musician and was cutting a record as Another idea Young discusses Young wrote this book. And is his investment in creating a both have also helped found, large, energy efficient vehicle The Bridge School, a program powered by Ethanol from biofor children with verbal and mass called Lincvolt. Lincvolt will, according to Young, be the physical disabilities. first large vehicle powered by Young writes nostalgically natural resources. of his friends who have now passed away, his mother, his One fact people may not father, and his appreciation and know about Neil Young is that love for those who worked with he loves model trains. The him despite being difficult to book begins with his recount work with. He also, of course, of a Christmas morning where discusses his days in Buffalo he received a locomotive

Neil Young

Springfield, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Crazy Horse, and The Squires. He drops a lot of names of people he has met, known and loved. He writes lovingly about old cars and guitars, having collected many of them over the years. He talks about his regrets and failures, his surgeries, and the struggles he and his family have survived. Great, right? These are all such wonderful things to learn about a musician who has contributed so many amazing sounds to the music world. For some reason, the concept ends up being greater than the finished product. Perhaps it is that Young is not a book writer, he is a writer of music and lyrics. His strength comes from the way he wields his guitar and unfortunately the messages he wields with his pen are disjointed and full of confusing sentence structure and simplistic, fragmented sentences. Parts of the book appear as commercial updates about his products as he devotes several chapters to discussing his distaste of the quality digital music. He pounds his feelings about PureTone into the pages of this book to the point that it feels like he is advertising his ventures to the reader. The same goes for Lincvolt, which sounds like it could be a great product, but the time he spends reiterating its impor-

Dig This Real

Book Reviews tance decreases the time his readers might want to spend learning about it.

In another chapter, Young writes about Pegi recovering from brain surgery:

A person could take the time to read this 500 page book to learn all about Neil Young, but the struggle that comes with trying to sift through information that reads like the diary entries of a nostalgic man in his sixties with a lot of money and a lot of time seems almost like a waste of their time. His intentions are good and his feelings are honest, but his writing feels stunted when in a book and not a song. He writes very matterof-factly, and completely out of chronological order; jumping back and forth from the present to memories of the past. His sentences could be dictated by a child in grade school were they not sometimes about cocaine and sexual shyness. In discussing how hard decisions are to make, Young writes:

“I wanted her to get her laugh back. And she did. Her laugh started coming back slowly and it returned to its full glory in a few months. I was so happy. Day after day. Week after week. She came back. My Pegi and I have been through a lot of life together. I am so thankful for every day.”

“My neighbor Greg called to see if I wanted to fly to Maui with him this morning, and I said that I think I will stay because I am writing. Poncho is coming by at eleven for a visit. It takes Poncho a lot of preparation to leave his garden. He is a bit of a recluse. I don’t want to miss that visit.” No offense to Neil Young, but while it is great to learn the inner workings of such a busy and interesting human being no one needs to know how difficult it is for him to decide whether or not he should fly to Maui with his neighbor, Greg.

March 2013

The sentiment is there, but it is infuriating to read something so choppy and full of partial sentences. The entire book is written in this manner and makes it difficult to focus on the importance of his wants to write. He wants to emphasize how thankful he is, how he has quit drinking and smoking week and now struggles with songwriting. That he misses his old friends and plans to reunite with Crazy Horse for one more record (which he did). These things are important to Young and sadly the writing style and child-like sentence structure make it difficult to not feel like you are only reading about his love of money and his things and his vacation homes. These don’t really matter in the big picture of who Neil Young is and what he has created both musically and otherwise. I am currently listening to Neil Young, streaming through the Internet at a level of quality that he would find devastating. His music ebbs and flows and feels real, natural and beauti-

ful. There is no frustration in its delivery. It also reflects his life, his feelings and his character, but does so in what seems to be his most natural format, guitar. With music on his side, he can evoke nostalgia, passion, anger, pleasure, and sadness in a much more fluid and concise way than through his written words. While his book is everything Neil Young is, and he doesn’t stray away from his own character, it lacks the beauty and tact that comes through in music. If people want to know about Neil Young’s factual history and life, they can read Wikipedia. If they want to feel his feelings and understand his art, they should listen to his music or watch the movies he created through his production company, Shakey Pictures. Unless they just love seemingly random anecdotes about people, they may or may not have heard of, and self-promotional product placement, it is probably best to leave this book shut. If one really does want to take on the task of tackling his autobiography, take it with a grain of salt and do not expect the same quality of writing from his book that he displays in his music. Just take it for what it is: an honest account of his thoughts and life, because as Young himself states, “I have never written a book before… www.neilyoung.com – Lauren Piper

Dig In Austin Williams, native son of Raleigh, North Carolina, noticed something new when he moved home after a decade in Atlanta. Although there were enough barbeque joints to clog the local population’s arteries for years to come, there was nowhere with good jerk chicken or sauce. So Williams, 37, began tinkering around on his own, and eventually developed a sauce that came to be known by friends and family as, “The Shizzle.” Already familiar with

the world of small business from his experience as a commercial real estate developer, Williams decided to take his sauce to market. The first for-sale batch of The Shizzle was produced in September 2010. Named, “North Carolina’s Best Hot BBQ Sauce,” in 2011, Williams’ business has been heating up ever since. DTR had a chance to chat with Williams. Read on! Dig This Real: You created The Shizzle because you wanted to have jerk chicken that was as good as what you had in Atlanta. How did you start the process? Austin Williams: Lightning struck one day when I had an intense jerk craving and kind of went on a hunt to figure out how to

make it. It started like a research project. I was looking online and through culinary recourses and really anything I could to figure out what the heck a jerk sauce was. Although the core ingredients of many jerk sauces - allspice, thyme and peppers – are used in The Shizzle, it has a pineapple base instead of a traditional scallion base. Where did you come up with that? One day, while I was shopping for ingredients to improve the recipe, a jar of pineapples caught my eye and I said to myself, “What would happen if I put pineapple in there instead of onions?” Pineapples make the sauce sweeter than the

Dig This Real

traditional Jamaican recipe and they have enzymes that tenderize meat. The recipe hasn’t changed since then. Once you had a recipe you liked, did you use focus groups or anything to see if other people would enjoy it too? I had focus groups, but they were really just for inviting people over. Particularly once I nailed the recipe, if I was going somewhere else people would be like, “I’ll get the chicken, you bring the sauce.” I’d swear some people just invited me over just because they wanted to have the sauce. What made you start thinking about going into business selling The Shizzle? My friend, who’s now my business partner, was addicted to the sauce. His pregnant wife was too. One night, in the middle of the winter, they were basically down to Shizzle residue, but his wife had him go outside and fire up the grill to use that little bit to make two chicken wings. She was craving it that bad. He told me that story and that was when I really started looking into it sincerely.

wasn’t like an executive at Kraft trying to figure out the risk. Once we put it out there and people who were eating our sauce, picked it up, there was no turning back. I have a contact with Snoop’s social media manager and have been trying to get some Shizzle in his hands. I passed along the message that we’d be happy to put his face on the jar for West Coast distribution. Speaking of risky, the label on the jar features a guy with dreadlocks in front what look to be five-leafed plants. What’s that about? Some people have presumed that there might be cannabis in the background, but I’m not saying. People who recognize what it might be are cool with it and people who wouldn’t be cool with it don’t even see it in the first place. It’s in the eye of

the beholder. Apparently the people at Whole Foods are cool with it. They were the first store to put The Shizzle on their shelves. How’d that happen? We walked into Whole Foods and said, “We’re a local company and we made this jerk sauce we’d like you to try.” The manager came back with rave reviews— and the paperwork. They have very high standards for having clean products but we passed all their tests. Now we’re growing store by store regionally and are in the entire southeast region, about 30 stores in all. I could never thank them enough for giving our little company the ability to grow. Score some sauce at www. theshizzlesauce.com - Evan Bleier

Why isn’t your slogan, “The Shizzle - Pregnant woman crave it more than pickles?” I think that’s just a little too targeted. Where did you come up with the name for the sauce? Just a big Snoop Dogg fan? Somebody made the comment that the sauce was, ‘the shizzle,’ and it was just one of those things. It was kind of funny and it stuck. The branding and the name are a little bit risky but we didn’t have anything to lose. It

March 2013

Dig This Real

March 2013