5 Tips for Being
By Mina Vaughn
More Dominant in the Bedroom
Some words that come to mind when I think of Indie Chicks: strong, smart, badass, driven. Submissive is not one of these words, but so many ladies these days are taking to the bedroom with handcuffs-and they’re ending up on the wrong set of wrists! Being tied up is so last year. Tying those knots yourself, however, well, that’s another story. I write about domes (women who like to be on top} for a living, so here are some of my secrets for adding some empowerment to your bedroom activities.
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Assert yourself
Some people have the misconception that, to be a dominant woman, you have to inflict pain and wear leather. False. All you have to do is assert your will over his. Tell him what you want, and I guarantee he’ll be licking your boots. (Hell, if they’re Tory Burch boots, I’d be licking them too, but that’s another story.) Have an in-charge attitude from the start and the rest will fall into place. The phrase “act as if” works in so many avenues of life. If you act as if he’s there for your pleasure, I have a feeling he won’t just go along with it-- he’ll love it.
Trash talk
Ok, even though my next book happens to be about a basketball playing domme, I don’t mean sporty trash talk. I mean taunt him. You don’t have to smack a fella around to get him to listen, tease him with your words. Tell him he’s been bad and he has to pay. Tell him he’s yours and has to
do what you want. I mean, sexily of course. You could be undressing him, or yourself, or simply touching. Don’t do this sort of thing after asking him to do the laundry is all I’m saying. Some women are afraid that being dominant means being a nag-- not the case! It’s all about context and setting the stage for pleasure and your success.
Light bondage
Ok, here’s a beginner’s course if you’re new to this sort of thing. You don’t go out and buy all sorts of kinkery, you can use stuff in your own house! Zip ties make great cuffs, plastic wrap can do wonders and even belts and sashes can make an ordinary roll in the hay something that will burn the barn down. However, if you do end up making a few purchases, I’d say the first thing you should get is vinyl bondage tape, like Burlesque Toy Shop’s Sex & Mischief Bondage Tape. It’s easy to use, sticks to itself and not to hair or skin, and has a million uses. Enjoy each one!