Damien High School
The Laconian
Writing Things You Probably Don’t Read for the Damien Community for 49 Years
Volume XLVII
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Completely True April Edition Mr. Freude One Heart, St. Lucy’s and Pomona Catholic to Integrate With Damien By Conal Dennison Announced as teachers from Damien’s sisFour Wings Staff Writer ter schools have expressed Allen Gallego Head Football By Starting the week their anger at this plan beWing-Ding of April 27th our tri school cause they feel that Damien community will participate teachers should not have Coach Chicken Wings in a highly anticipated experiment. For one whole week students from Pomona Catholic and St Lucy's will attend classes at Damien High School. The purpose of this experiment is to see how student productivity is affected if the school were to be made coed. Teachers will observe how Damien, PC, and Lucy’s students behave and perform in the classroom and around campus. If students perform above previous levels, then the coed integration will be permanent. Although the details of this integration are still being decided, the Archdiocese and administrators from the tri school community are excited to see how this experiment turns out. “We hope that our students will remain focussed and perhaps even improve their productivity during this experiment” said every student at Damien. In preparation for this experiment, Damien has already begun taking a
Issue Six
few precautionary measures. One major road block in this plan involves parking. Because it would be impossible to provide parking on campus for all Lucy’s and PC students, a request to allow new students access to park on Bonita has already been sent to the City of La Verne. Members of Damien’s maintenance staff have been hard at work filling the 700 building with brand new desks and transforming some of Damien’s spotless, pristine restrooms into women’s rooms.
Another problem that threatens to ruin this plan involves food. Damien’s snack bar and Lunch Box provides enough food for Damien students, but imagine how difficult it would be to do the same for Lucy’s and PC students. Because of this dilemma, our very own Dr. Hemenway has agreed to allow students to go off campus for lunch during this week of experimentation. But that’s not the only obstacle that the tri school faculty has been confronted with. Various
the right to teach Lucy’s and PC students. “Those are our students. We should be the ones teaching them!” yelled one angry PC teacher at a recent tri school faculty meeting. Some faculty members from our sister schools have even taken to expressing their anger via Twitter. “I don’t want that gnome bearded Freud teaching any of my students!” tweeted one Lucy’s teacher. “And what about that Prigeon guy? He could roid rage at any moment. I don’t want my girls around him!” tweeted another. Despite these objections, our sister schools’ faculty does agree that this experiment could prove to be beneficial. Not only would it be interesting to see how productive students are in a coed learning environment, but it would also bring our schools closer together. The overwhelming majority of students could socialize with friends from Lucy’s and PC and countless new friendships could be formed.
think we don't what websites you are using. Looking at you Andrew,” said IT director, Dominic Maricic, “We put cookies in every time you visit Damien-hs.edu.” The Damien Dean department (D&D) announced that confiscated phones have reached an all time semester high. “We have a room full of phones with emojis and Instagram updates. It is completely out of control,” said Mr. Castillo. The return of the internet firewall will likely be accompanied by the installation of cellular jammers to completely shut out students from the world wide web. These devices, often seen in
cheap hotels to force victims to pay for wi-fi, deny phones from using service. By transmitting a signal on the same frequency, it collides with a cell phone’s signal and the two devices cancel each other out. This means that phones cannot conect with cell phones towers, and therefore their service providers and the world wide web. The news has sent Damien students on edge. The looming Internet blackout, with rumors that the next senior classes will (officially) have no Senior Privileges have disturbed the student body. “OMG guys, can u beleve this? Brb.” said Kevan
Maloney in response to the proposal. With the ending of Senior free dress, and scraping of Damien senior lunch lines, many Damien students are questioning what it means to be a Damien senior. “If I don't get any special privileges to make underclassmen jealous, am I a real ‘senior?’ The only thing I enjoy here is walking through the senior quad, and making a big deal about it to the freshmen everyday.” said Dominic Trento. Sadly, many Damien students could not be bothered with this issue as they were too busy updating their statuses.
Mr. O’Brien Joins
Mr. Patten Sighted
Doc Reveals Teleportation Secrets Page 3
The Tri-School Community will integrate on April27th despite concerns and protests of teachers and students from the entire community.
Damien Reinstalls Firewall, Considers Cellular Jamming
By Allen Gallego News Editor
Beginning after spring break, Damien will reinstall the internet firewall and restrict, or outright deny access to any form of social media. Additionally, Damien is heavily considering installing a cellular jammer to deny use of cellular data during school hours. All phone calls from parents will be directed through the school phone system. The decision to bring back the firewall is the affect of fighting an epidemic of phone abuse during school hours. “People are on their phones in class, at lunch and in every rally this year. Don't
Inside This Issue
Peace Corps
Page 2
on Campus
Page 2
By Stephen Ontiveros Sports Editor
In a shocking turn of events, Mr. Dylan Freude has been named Damien’s new Varsity Football coach. Former coach Mark Paredes will take over Mr. Freude’s English classes. “I’m very excited to be taking over as football coach,” Mr. Freude stated. “I became a fan after I saw it being played in, Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone.” When asked about statements made by fans and alumni of Damien concerned over his lack of football experience, Mr. Freude shrugged off the statements made and responded with, “They shouldn’t worry so much. I know all about my favorite sport, the seekers and quaffles and what not. We just need to hustle that quaffle up and down the field.” I asked Mr. Freude what he was looking forward to most about the upcoming season. "We have some great potential players. We have a few guys that could make great Seekers, and a few Chasers who could win us the House Cup. Our Beaters will need to step up if
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Journal 1. A section of chicken, often a wingette or drumette, that is fried, coated in vinegar-based cayenne pepper hot sauce and butter...is to die for. Oh my: there is beauty in simplicity, the Oreo Cookie cream with chocolate buns for example, or the hot dog of beef in a bread socket. None of these compare to the chicken wings in delicious sauce. Yet for every deceivingly simple thing there are layers of complexity. There is so little we understand about Chicken Wings and what makes them so good. To discover these secrets I traveled to the China Laconian Branch in Beijing to meet up with an international coalition of good looking Laconian writers. Chicken Wings Journal 2. To understand a enemy, you must get into its skin. If I was to understand the wings I needed to make the wings. I needed to be the wings. To find out the best way to make Chicken Wings I sought an ancient and presumed lost wisdom of a sacred temple in the Himalayas, which then led me to a trailer park in Louisiana. At first, they refused to accept me, so I adopted
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Number Of Wings Allen Has Eaten
1,031 Sim-Trooper Page 3
Allen’s Cooking Recipes Part II
Page 5
Knews The Laconian Staffbox
Vol. XLVII • Issue 9 3/4• Page 98
Damien High School
Mr. Gates to be Next MSNBC News Anchor
Tuesday, April 3rd Learn how to spell Mrs. Trojanowski’s(?) name
Complainer-in-Chief Justin Lin Wing Consultant
Wednesday, April 46th Conal Dennison is rejected by Marvel as the next human torch
Allen Gallego Won’t
Stop
Talking
About Sports
Thursday, April 2nd Block C
Stephen Ontiveros
Monday, April 6th Freshman Hunger Games Hosted by Mr. Zampiello
“Ugh..do I have to do work?” Kevan Maloney Really Wants Allen and By Kevan Maloney Stephen’s Jobs Conal Dennison Justin Moon Max Marler Skyrim Lore Expert Mr. Dylan Freude
High School Its mailing address is: Damien High School, 2280 Damien Ave., La Verne CA 91750. (909) 596-1946, Ext. 264.
influence students to side with one side or the other. During a quick interview I had with Mr. Gates, he told me “MSNBC is by far my favorite show to watch. I try to get home by 6 o’clock everyday to watch it. Being a news anchor will bring on a new sense of purpose to my life!” His decision to
By Justin Lin
the Damien Community Whiner Gabriel Marquez to submit manuscripts (‘15) has signed a record
for consideration. All breaking deal with YMC-
MB Records. Although actual figures have not been released, the deal is rumored to be around $150 million dollars over the course of four albums. This would put Marquez in elite company, as he is getting payed $37.5 million dollars per album, a record sum. “Birdman and Lil Wayne both praised my deep singing voice,” said Marquez, “It was an honor to be complemented by artists highly respected within
‘Letters to the Editor’ must be signed. The opinions expressed in review and editorial pieces are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Damien High School or the newspaper staff.
but when you are a part of things you love, the time seems to matter less and less every day. So no, dont worry about me. However if it does become too much to handle and my students suffer, then I will leave MSNBC in a heartbeat.” Many of his ideologies, which I will not state out of respect for such a great man, were formed at the great political rally:
Mr. Gates just wants to show the world how much he cares and how wealth should be redistributed. Another man who cares is Jeff Coray. Just a week before Mr. Gates’s announcement, Mr. Coray announced that he would be joining the Fox news team. This was almost expected of Coray. Unfortunately Mr. Coray has yet to be available for comment.
Gabriel Marquez, the Voice, to Sign With YMCMB Records
The executive board invites all members of
join MSNBC was due in part to his retirement from the Damien Swim Team as coach He took on the new position as a golf coach, and decided that he had the time to take on a second job. When asked about time constraints, Mr. Gates responded “Sure the scheduling is a bit tough,
Woodstock. If you were to ask him to tell you some stories, you should consider In a strange turn yourself lucky if he regales of events, Damien teacher you with such stories of Andrew Gates has signed him marching with Martin up to be a news anchor Luther King Jr. or his three for MSNBC.Mr. Gates is day stint at Woodstock. known for politely educat Some of his more ing student on the differrecent accomplishments ent political ideologies, are taking part of the “ocand making sure students cupy movement” or him understand both sides of “MSNBC is by far my favorite show to watch. I try to get going and the coin. He home by 6 o’clock everyday to watch it...[this] will bring helping the poor down manages to at skidrow. on a new sense of purpose to my life!” do this in an
Photo-Something
The Damien Laconian objective way that does not is published by Damien
On the Calendar
their field, and after a couple of shots of undisclosable alcohol, I signed the deal.” Marquez first gained national recognition when he dropped the critically acclaimed mixtape “First World Probz” under the moniker G-Mark-Eazy. Praised for its laconic flow and its unique delivery, “First World Probz” was the most downloaded mixtape of the year, with conservative estimates around 15 million. The reason why Marquez’s mixtape was so popular was because it appealed to all age groups. Songs like “Whippin My Camry” and “Straight-
’A’-Killa” appealed to the younger audience. “Straight’A’-Killa” in particular appealed to the urban youth, with many teeangers claiming that the lyrics had deep meaning and the constant scratching noises in the background put them in a “rave-like trance”. For the middle aged audience, songs like “I Hate Taxes” and “Where’d My Money Go (Taxes)” became hits because of its intense relatability. A middle aged man even broke down while listening and cried “G get’s it. He’s the voice of middle America”. After the explo-
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Saturday, April 11th Track and Field: Hot Coal Running@ Citrus College Debaters Debate A Series of Mirrors Thwednesday April 9th Football vs. Lacrosse War Saturday, April 11th You Didn’t Even Noticed The 11th Was Repeated Sunday, April 12 Mr. Nolte Noleties all day Tuesday, April 14th Mr. Cusimano to star in breaking Bad Reboot Thursday, April 16th Make Fun Of The Yearbook Staff Saturday, April 18th Doc Williams Models for GQ Sunday, April 19th Mr. Pridgeon’s Tell-All Interview “My Struggles with Steroids” 7 PM Mr. mahon “putts” around Get it? Like Golf? (applause) Monday, April 20th Umm....... Tuesday, April 21st Dogs Come To Sniff Things Monday, April 27th Mr. Geiger To Star In Play Adaptaion Of Twilight
Vol. XLVII • Issue 5 • Page 3
April, 2015
By Max Marler “Sir, did you hear?...”
Earlier this week, rising film star Quincy Sims announced that he would be starring in his own Star Wars spin-off movie, rumored to be coming next fall. The title of the film is, as of print, unknown although the details of the plot are already released to press as of this time. The movie will focus on the story of Sims as Bioniq Q, a Jedi too powerful for George Lucas to deal with in his own screenplays. Sims comes as a freshman addition to an already star-studded cast, with Vin Diesel making an appearance as That One Sith Lord That Did Evil Stuff, and Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez in a romantic subplot that will
drag on for the entire movie. Jar Jar Binks will also return, to the joy of fans everywhere. There will also be a special guest appearance by Mr. Lenss Flayre, who is reportedly still incensed after being cut from the cast of Episode 7 by director J. J. Abrams (the fans were too mad). Critics have already started publishing reviews for the movie, which currently holds a 77% on Rotten Tomatoes. Reviewer Soren Anderson of Seattle Times commented, “It was an okay movie.” Other critics praised the characterization of the villains, saying that Vin Diesel “nailed it” as the main antagonist. However, when asked about the movie, fellow filmmaker Michael Bay said that he was disappointed at the lack of explosions present in the final battle on the self-destructing
The Laconian Senioritis Claims Five Lives Goes on Strike
By Justin Lin The Other Justin
We are going on strike. We have one demand, a larger pizza fund. Thank You.
Mr Sims Poses in costume on the set of his new stand alone film. No one would stand with him
space station, offering up his own stockpile of pyrotechnics if any other directors are interested. Sims himself had a lot to say about the film, his first major motion picture. “It was hard to fit
in filming with my other activities,” he said, citing his pre existing commitments to his students and the mountain of homework he has to grade every night.
a quote from Mrs. Le Duc, but she obviously was not in the mood for discussion, as she walked away muttering something in German that sounded extremely rude. The highlight of the campaign came when Ms. Curry and Mrs. Mahon offered extra credit for votes. It was a wide open race until the final debate, where Mrs. Di Carlo began to discuss her favorite book, Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, and began to list the different possible dishes one could make with yams, at which the students in attendance pleaded with her to stop, promising to vote for her if she did. But, Mrs. Di Carlo, undaunted, continued with a long lecture on existentialism and how the Truman Show is a metaphor for, like, something important. The entertaining campaign season came to an end with Mrs. Di Carlo winning the election receiving 45% of votes, with the three others reportedly receiving 25% each. And if you don’t think that sounds right, you aren’t the only one. “The numbers, they just don’t add up!” said 2016 Prom Queen hopeful Mrs. Xiomara Velasquez of the Math Department. With rumors of bribery and corruption surrounding her already, it will be interesting to see what Mrs. Di Carlo does in her year of reign, which begins with her coronation on April 18th at prom.
Police stormed Damien High School on the morning of March 30th to seize teacher Paul Pridgeon on reports of his involvement with a steroid drug cartel. Rumors have been looming around the school about his involvement with the distribution and usage of steroids but the evidence was never substantial. After years of investigation, the La Verne Police Department secretly drug tested Mr. Pridgeon after he continually berated teachers and students alike with questions such as, “Do you even lift, bro?” He tested positive with large doses of steroids. Along with the drug test, the police patiently watched Mr. Pridgeon meet and deal with infamous drug lords through daily surveillance. Soon enough evidence piled up for detectives to issue an immediate warrant to seize all of Mr. Pridgeon and his property. Police were cautious as approaching Mr. Pridgeon is equivalent to coming near a cranky Hulk. On March 30th, police seized over 300 tons of steroids hidden underneath his classroom in large garbage bags. They were carefully placed underneath each tile, and detectives concluded that he inserted the bags while the 600 building was under construction. The value of this quantity can be estimated
By Justin & Conal The Rookies
An epidemic is rapidly spreading throughout Damien. Its name: senioritis. Having already claimed the lives of Garrett Souza, Christian Lansang, and David Washington, Senioritis is truly a fatal disease. Believed to have originated in the 300 building, Senioritis has already infected a whopping 100 students. Its symptoms are as follows:rings around the eyes, lethargic behavior, increased appetite, and desire to watch hours of Netflix. The number of infected seniors will most likely increase as the school year comes to a close. It is estimated that by graduation day, the whole senior class will be experiencing the fatal symptoms of this devastating disease.
Arrested in Steroid Ring Mrs. DiCarlo to be Prom Queen, ByPridgeon Justin Moon Jerky Enthusiast Controversy Ensues
Mrs. DiCarlo cuts away the competition and wears her crown of victory. “This is what i have always dreamed of,” exclaimed DiCarlo who ended a sentence with a preposition.
By Stephen Ontiveros Sports, Sports, Sports
After making the groundbreaking change of adding a Homecoming King this school year, the administration of Damien High School decided to take it a step further and do something never done before, adding a Faculty Prom Court. After a long and an even dirty campaign, Damien has a new queen and she resides in Room 304. That’s right. Mrs. Rosemary DiCarlo is your new queen. “It’s the thrill of a lifetime!”, Mrs. DiCarlo joyfully stated upon hearing of her victory. “It has always been my dream to serve as queen
because I love these types of competitions so much.” Considered a dark horse contender, Mrs. DiCarlo fought hard against favorites Ms. Angela Curry, Mrs. Shalini Mahon, and Mrs. Lisa LeDuc. All three favorites kicked off the first ever Faculty Prom Queen election with continuous mudslinging and were all accused of taking cheap shots at each other, giving Mrs. DiCarlo an opportunity to sneak to the top of the pack. “I SHOULD HAVE WON! THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE WINNER AND THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!”, said Ms. Curry. “If you didn’t vote for me, you are a doofus,” said a disappointed Mrs. Mahon. We tried getting
Mr. Pridgeon poses above, showing off his inflated muscles. Mr. Pridgeon is unable to put his arms down
at over 2 billion US dollars. Doctors have taken numerous urine, blood, and sweat tests to conclude that he single handedly ingested 2 tons of steroids. This would explain why Mr. Pridgeon was able to get buff. Mr. Pridgeon has been unavailble for comment but his lawyer stated that he was, “In good spirits and picking up very heavy objects and putting them right back where they needed to be. Over and over.” Graduating from Damien in the class of 2008, Mr. Pridgeon has been on the police “watch list” from the year 2010. Thanks to persistent detective work, Mr. Pridgeon and his steroids will be out of the community. Mr. Pridgeon will be on trial on April 1st with
numerous charges of drug trafficking, consumption, and possession. His cooperation with the police will determine his sentence as he is looking at serving a max of 12 years in the Louisiana State Penitentiary.
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we want to beat Gryffindor next year." When I asked about the quarterback situation, he responded, "Yeah, I want my quarter back. I didn't know I lost it in the first place." It's definitely an interesting time for Damien football, and we'll see how the new look team will fair come next season. Coach Paredes was quoted as saying, “God help us all.”
Help, I’m trapped in the journalism room and they won’t let me out until I finish my articles! I haven’t eaten in three months and all they have to read are these yearbooks. Mr. Pridgeon is mean and I can see people out the window, but they won’t let me out. Why is Mr. Truax so tall? Why is Mr. Freude’s beard so red? Why is the sky blue? I can’t remember the last time since I saw the sun. I don’t want to read for Mrs. Le Duc’s class any more. My phone’s battery died a few days ago. I can’t even play Candy Crush. Why are there so many chicken wing photos in here? Why are there so many chicken wing bones everywhere?
Sims Set to Star In Star Wars Spin-Off Movie
Feetures
Sporks
Father John’s Jokes Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. my husband passed away last night.” The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father..." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" She says, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that gun...’” A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?" The businessman said, just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, “Now you have everything."
Continued from page 2 the flour-dipped-and-sacredwings go into the fryer for Wings-and-things
their Southern culture, accent and clothing until I lost my own and became one of them. I was becoming the chicken wing. Chicken Wings Journal 3. The first step to Chicken Wings is to cut out the wingette from the wing. The next step is to cover the wingettes with flour. The Wings must be rubbed vigorously and completely until the flesh cannot be seen. When complete, the wings are put into a bag, and into the refrigerator for 15 antagonizing minutes. After,
fifteen minutes minutes. One must then pour one’s favorite hot sauce on them and bake in the oven for ten minutes. The last step is take out the Chicken Wings, now spelt with capital letters, and put them into a popcorn bowl, pour your favorite hot sauce on them once again, and cover the bowl with plastic and shake. And thats it. Theres no other secret to Chicken Wings. I have at last become...the chicken wing.
2014-2015 House Cup Standing Slayvier-68 DaPoorest-67 YouStinky-o-60 Francy-35 Hatrick-32 Aquinas-23 Kobe-11 Obnoxious-3 *Insert Joke Here
Vol. XLVII • Issue 6• Page 4
Damien High School
Bowl is Life, Bowling Wins State Championship
By Justin Moon Moooooooooooon
The Damien Varsity bowling team just completed another successful season by winning their league title undefeated for the third consecutive year. Along with this title, elite senior bowler Nick Lee individually entered the Division I State Championship at Oak Tree Lanes. Coming in as the 25th top bowler in the state, his chances on going far in the competition were low, but it all depended on how he was mentally and physically prepared. On March 24th, Nick Lee was finally allowed to display his talents off at the Division I State Championships. Coming in as an underdog, he was ready to bowl. The trophy was already his by the time Nick stepped on the stage. Heads began to turn after Nick bowled a beautiful turkey of three straight strikes. The competition around him was stunned as no one could keep up with his score. Nick appeared calm and composed as he bowled confidently strike after strike. He was bowling his way into history. No one has ever won the Division I State Championship with a rank over 10th nor has anyone ever bowled a perfect game of 12 strikes in a row. He was all alone on the scoreboard as he gloriously held a spotless score of 300
By Conal Dennison “Agent Orange”
Bowling Roles over the Competition (we can do puns all day people. We live for them)
and was crowned the Division I State Champion. Nick Lee represented our school with sportsmanship and tenacity to compete even with the odds against him. I was interested in learning more about his victory, so I sat down with him and asked him a few questions. Q: How were you able to pull away from the competition and eventually win the state championship? A: I just did what I have been practicing all year. Nothing has changed, it was just another competition. I kept the technique my coach taught me throughout the event and it worked out for me in the end. I never panicked and stayed calm. Q: Many say you were composed and calm during the entire event, how do you personally prepare for such a large event like this? A. I actually surprised myself on how composed I was during the competition. To prepare for an event like this, I treat it as if it is another tournament.
As long as I stretch out my throwing arm and my legs, I feel prepared. I like to be alone in the locker room with my music so I can get in the zone. Q: Coming in ranked at 25th in the state, how confident were you coming into the competition? A. I came into the competition confident enough to do well in the event but I knew the odds were against me. There were 24 other bowlers better than me and I knew they were on the same mission, to win. I never expected myself to go that far or even win it all. Q:That was the perfect ay to end your high school bowling career, how would you summarize your career here at Damien? A:I loved the fact Damien created this team in my freshman year. We have grown together and been through it all. We deserved to win league for three years in a row. Overall it's been an amazing experience and I will cherish every moment I had with this team.
Continued from page 2 sion of success, record labels got into a bidding war, and the recruiting ploys were ridiculous. “I remember that Eminem sent me a 10-foot tall bronze statue of myself sitting on a pile of cash while doing the Nae-Nae.”, said Marquez, “Warner Bros Music said that they would make a superhero franchise that would have me star as a hero that saves people with his baritone.” Ultimately, it came down to credibility and respectability, and no other record label is respected and revered more than YMCMB. The universal acclaim that YMCMB has was too much for Gabe to turn away from, although a fleet of private jets didn’t hurt. G-Mark-Eazy is set to drop his debut studio album next fall. Already, just days after the announcements, the Internet is swarmed with rumors about potential collaborators. From Drake and Chief Keef to Willie Nelson and Barbra Streisand, members of online forums are claiming first-hand knowledge of the album production, but Marquez isn’t tipping his hand. “I won’t say who is on it, but I will say this”, said Marquez, “The world is gonna change after my album. Y’all that Yeezus was life changing, nah, this album coming up is gonna be life changing. The world better be ready when it hits stores next Fall.” Across 2. These were used during the Civil War as a substitute for coffee (plural) 7. Donald Duck's middle name 8. Spanish tradition calls for the eating of twelve of these at midnight on New Year's eve 9. President John F. Kennedy was buried without his_____ 10. Nomophobia is a fear of being without a____ 11. The element with the atomic number 24 12. "Dimension 6" was the name intended for this world famous company Down 1. The Romans whitened their teeth with this 3. The capital of Fiji 4. These furry rodents laugh when tickled 5. There are upwards of 87,000 drink combinations at_____ 6. The northern leopard frog uses these to swallow its food 8. The human eye can distinguish the most shades of which color?