NORTHTEXAS
THE MAGAZINE PARENTS LIVE BY IN DENTON COUNT Y
OO N C TVO EB MEBRE R 2019 2019
19
EVENTS TO LOVE THIS MONTH
IS BLUE LIGHT REALLY HARMFUL?
MEET MOTHER BEVERAGE’S ALLISON ELLSWORTH
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HOW BURNOUT AFFECTS YOUR CHILD
MOMMY BURNOUT IT’S REAL. LET’S TALK ABOUT IT.
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pages / N O V E M B E R
2019 NORTHTEXAS
DEPARTMENTS NOTED 7 The Blue Waves
Get the facts about blue light exposure
REAL MOMS
11 ABOVE // After experiencing gut problems and experimenting with apple cider vinegar, Allison Ellsworth created Mother Beverage.
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11 Mom Next Door / Allison Ellsworth
14 16
The Dallas prebiotic soda mixologist spills on Shark Tank, running a small business and the struggle between mom and CEO 5 Things... / A Full Life Our Mom Next Door’s favorite self-care ritual and gluten-free dining spots Routines / Randi Skinner This Denton mom left her marketing career to become a momprenuer and spend more time with her baby girl
KID CULTURE
25 Worn Out Is your kiddo burned out? Here’s what you can do
FEATURE
29 Calendar / The Agenda
18 Burn Out A new two-part series tackling the causes— and the cure—for parental burnout
Our favorite family events this month
words Jessica Elliott
ON THE COVER
COLUMNS
PHOTOGRAPHY BY CINDY JAMES; VARTER ROSE; ©ISTOCK: ILLUSTRATION MARY DUNN
Cover Family: Zuri, Kezan and Natcha of Lantana Photography: Cindy James Hair/Makeup Artists: Kay Reeder and Nicole Estill / Independent Artists Art Direction/Styling: Heather Vance Devers
PUBLISHER/ EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Joylyn Niebes CREATIVE + CONTENT DIRECTOR Heather Vance Devers EDITORIAL Executive Editor Carrie Steingruber Managing Editor Elizabeth Quinn
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4 dfwchild.com / Off the Pages
Speech pathology, fall recipes and more words Sydney Blalock Ritchie
34 Confessions / Mom Truths
Five-year-olds say the darnedest things
Graphic Designers Susan Horn, Ariana Leyva
Advertising Coordinator Alli Renner
CREATIVE DIRECTOR AT LARGE Lauren Niebes
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online / D F W C H I L D . C O M WORDS SYDNEY BLALOCK RITCHIE
OFF THE PAGES
what’s in store this month on dfwchild.com
WELCOME TO NOVEMBER, the month that really kicks off the biggest holidays of the year. But don’t start getting stressed about all the planning, shopping and cooking just yet—there’s still so much fall yet to enjoy. As you enjoy your pumpkins, leaves and apple picking, make sure you check out some of our picks for the season too—you can find these three articles (and more) at dfwchild.com. While you’re there, sign up to receive this magazine in your mailbox every month and our e-newsletter every week.
5 Go-To Fall Recipes
Looking for some new tasty recipes to add to your family kitchen’s repertoire? We found (and tried out) five scrumptious fall recipes. From roasted veggies to a hearty baked potato soup, your family is sure to request these again and again all season long.
What Speech Therapists Want You To Know
Ever heard of speech pathology? Don’t know too much about it or how it works? This article is just for you. We spoke with three local speechlanguage pathologists about what they want parents to know, how speech therapy works and how to work with your kids when the therapist isn’t around.
We’ve all seen a lot about vaping in the news recently. Stores are even pulling vape products from the shelves because some young people are having serious health issues related to the hobby. But do you know enough about vaping and how it can impact your kids? We have the facts for you. 4
november 2019 / northtexaschild
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THE BLUE WAVES Is blue light really that dangerous? WORDS
GINA MAYFIELD
T
AKE A PEEK INTO THE HOME OF MOST NORTH TEXANS ON ANY GIVEN EVENING, and chances are you’ll see faces awash in a faint bluish glow—Mom and Dad doing one last email or social media check and the kids squeezing in a final video game, sitcom or movie before bedtime. Or, if they are procrastinators like my own children, they may be finishing up homework on a school district–issued Chromebook—the same one they’ve been staring at all day in school. Even if all the gadgets and gizmos are off for the night, fluorescent and LED household lightbulbs—even that new flat-screen—emit brighter short-wavelength blue light than those oldfashioned incandescent bulbs ever did. So in recent years, attention has turned to the effects of light pollution on our eyes, with shortwave blue light as the primary concern. We’ve all seen the articles, news segments and blog posts about the perceived dangers of blue light, but, truth be told, the long-term consequences of blue light exposure in children are not well understood. That’s why we decided to shed a little light on northtexaschild / november 2019
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noted / T H E
BLUE WAVES
this subject (pun intended) and look at what we do know now. BLUE SCREENS OF DEATH?
“During the day, blue light wakes us and stimulates us,” says Dr. Cynthia Beauchamp, managing partner of ABC Eyes, a pediatric ophthalmology practice with offices in Grapevine, Dallas and Plano. “But too much exposure to blue light at night can make it simply more difficult to get to sleep.” With that, she hit on one of the greatest concerns parents have about screen time: While we may not be going blind from staring at our cellphones all day, what concerns many already sleep-deprived parents is their child’s brain stimulation. Turns out blue light may inhibit melatonin secretion levels, which affect sleep quality. “Using a device at bedtime can delay sleep and can affect REM sleep and simply make it more difficult to get your child to calm down,” Beauchamp explains.
Turns out this high-energy blue light passes through the cornea and lens to the retina, and that can cause problems such as dry eye, cataracts and age-related macular degeneration, according to a late 2018 study published by the International Journal of Ophthalmology. But not all ophthalmologists are sounding the alarm. “There is blue light spectrum in most ‘white’ light, including sunlight,” says Dr. Serena Wang, a pediatric ophthalmologist from Children’s Health and associate professor at University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center. “As best as we can tell, blue light is not different than exposure to light itself,” she says, citing EVERYTHING IN an article recently pubMODERATION lished online by the So what’s a parent to American Academy of do? Simple solutions, Ophthalmology, titled based on the age of “No, Blue Light From the child, make the If your children spend too much time Your Smartphone Is most sense. in front of a screen, that can keep Not Blinding You.” “With little them from blinking as often as they As that title sugchildren, up to a year should, which may make their eyes gests, and as Wang or two in age, I just feel dry, gritty, tired or strained. The puts it, “There is no advise that they don’t simple solution is to have them look good evidence that use devices at all,” at least 20 feet away, for 20 seconds, blue light is harmful Beauchamp says. For every 20 minutes. Ophthalmologists to the eye itself or young school-age chilcall this the “20-20-20 rule.” vision.” The article dren, the American says that concerns Academy of Pediatrics raised by recent recommends less than Other minor adjustments can help too: research out of the half an hour to an Lighting: Keep the room softly lit. University of Toledo hour a day, in part to The biggest troublemakers are light and in Scientific give kids the opporsources above or behind the screen, Reports is “alarmist.” tunity to get up from including fluorescent lighting and As a matter of behind a computer for sunlight. Turn off some or even all of fact, some blue light cardiovascular exerexposure is essential cise, she says. That’s the overhead lights. for a healthy body something everyone Glare: Lower blinds and shades, and and may even help can agree on. be sure the screen isn’t positioned with eyesight. And what about directly in front of a window or white “The progression those older kids like wall. Consider anti-glare covers for of nearsightedness is mine, who tend to be your devices. really this hot topic in finishing homework Screen settings: Enlarge the type to pediatric ophthalmollate into the evening? make reading easier for little ones, ogy right now,” Wang “Definitely putting and be sure to set the brightness and notes. “Many studies away the device an contrast to comfortable levels. have linked light levhour before bedtime is els and being outside absolutely reasonable,” to helping slow the she says. progression of nearsightedness.” Truthfully, being “reasonable” seems to Plus, blue light boosts alertness, helps be the answer to our questions surroundmemory and cognitive function and ing blue light. (Check the sidebar for more elevates mood. It even helps regulate those reasonable precautions.) circadian rhythms, the body’s natural sleep Like most things in life, “everything in and wake cycles. moderation” applies here as well. 8
november 2019 / northtexaschild
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The 20-20-20 Rule
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real moms. BELOW //
Co-founder of Mother Beverage Allison Ellsworth was nine months pregnant when she went on Shark Tank.
MOTHER LOAD AGE 32 HAILS FROM Wichita Falls LIVES IN Lake Highlands SIGNIFICANT OTHER Husband and business partner Stephen OFFSPRING Theodore, 3, and Sebastian, 1 ALMA MATER University of North Texas PREVIOUS CAREER Landman in the oil and gas industry CURRENT CAREER Co-founder of Poppi, formerly Mother Beverage CV HIGHLIGHT Getting a deal on Shark Tank when she was nine months pregnant WHERE TO FIND HER DRINKS Whole Foods, Central Market, Market Street, Tom Thumb, Natural Grocers and some small eateries. “We are going nationwide in Sprouts next year, and then we are in talks with Whole Foods to do seven regions across the U.S. next year, and then HEB as well.”
mom next door /
ALLISON ELLSWORTH health mixologist INTERVIEW HEATHER VANCE DEVERS PHOTOGRAPHY CARTER ROSE
A
FTER FOUR YEARS OF WORKING WITH DOCTORS to figure out her stomach issues—with no answers—Allison Ellsworth, co-founder of Mother Beverage, took her health into her own hands. She turned to Dr. Google and read about the benefits of apple cider vinegar. “I was amazed, within two weeks of drinking it every day, how amazing I felt,” Ellsworth says. “[I] immediately had lost that bloat, and I felt more energetic, and it was just crazy that this apple cider vinegar could do this to you.” Now almost four years, two sons and a Shark Tank deal later, she and her husband are expanding their beverage company nationwide with new branding and packaging—they’re moving from bottles to cans and changing the name to Poppi. “Renaming your company is like renaming your child,” Ellsworth says. “But we love it.” → northtexaschild / november 2019
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real moms / M O M
NEXT DOOR
NorthTexasChild: Tell us a little bit about your story. Allison Ellsworth: In my previous
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career, I was on the road a lot. I traveled town to town in small little towns across the U.S. for about 10 years, living in hotels, and eating on the road, and not really living the healthiest of a lifestyle. I had that bloating feeling in the stomach where your gut kind of always hurts, and my face was always a little red. I read online drinking apple cider vinegar could help with a lot of those issues. So I was like, “What’s the harm in trying [something] natural?” Child: Is that how you started Mother? AE: Yeah. I couldn’t get Stephen to try
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it, or my family. So I’m like, “I’m going to come up with an idea, or a recipe, to make this taste good so I can get everybody else to feel as good as I feel.” I spent a few months in the kitchen doing different things, like I would take real raspberries and simmer them down to make a syrup. A lot of people … add a bunch of honey, and they mix it with all these different things, and you end up drinking like 200 calories in the morning. What was really important to me was to taste good as well as keep it healthy. So, I was just playing around with it, and then I started giving it out to friends and neighbors, and they were like, “Wow, this is actually pretty good.” Child: So, it took off organically? AE: I
just started selling it at the farmers market, and it just took off. Within the first three weeks, the Whole Foods buyer was there, tried it, and she’s like, “Here’s my number. Call me. Let’s get you guys in Whole Foods.”
november 2019 / northtexaschild
Child: What role does apple cider vinegar play with prebiotics and probiotics? AE: Apple
cider vinegar is actually prebiotic not probiotic. The prebiotics actually feed the healthy gut flora. So, probiotics are putting in extra to make you feel better, then the prebiotics are helping feed those probiotics. You kind of need both to really feel at your best. If you don’t have the balance or the alignment in your gut, it can throw so many things off.
Child: How have you balanced building a business and having small kiddos? AE: It’s
actually really difficult. From the outside it looks great, but it’s really tough because when we started the company, I was pregnant. We were a startup. We weren’t paying ourselves. Stephen actually got a second job, was working at night, after working 80-plus hours at Mother. I was putting caps on, filling bottles, the day I went in labor. We just didn’t have that luxury where you get to take three months off. At one point, I just wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and just focus on my baby.
“I’M GOING TO COME UP WITH AN IDEA, OR A RECIPE TO MAKE THIS TASTE GOOD SO I CAN GET EVERYBODY ELSE TO FEEL AS GOOD AS I FEEL.”
Child: Talk about serendipitous! AE: I
know, and it was still in, like, prototype Mason jars. We were just making it in our kitchen at home. I never really set out to start a beverage company. It just kind of happened. Child: How did you go from Mason jars to Whole Foods? AE: We ended up opening our
own production facility. At that point it had 12
taken off quite a bit at the farmer’s market, so we were like spending 10-hour days filling these by hand. It was really crazy. If you’re going to sell in stores, you have to be in commercial kitchens. You can’t make it at your house anymore. So we signed a lease and just started making plans to really grow this.
Child: And then you decided to have a second child. AE: I
didn’t want to sacrifice having a family for the business. So I got pregnant with our second, and Stephen kind of backed off [from] depending on me so much that I was actually able to enjoy being a mom a little bit. Child: How do you make time for romance and your husband? AE: It’s hard, I think, to
find the balance sometimes of not just being roommates, best friends and business partners. We go on a date, and we just talk about
POPPI BY MOTHER // FORMERLY KNOWN AS MOTHER BEVERAGE, POPPI SPORTS REDESIGNED PACKAGING IN HOPES OF APPEALING TO MORE CONSUMERS.
business the whole time. It’s because we’re so passionate about it. It’s funny because I get a lot of the credit, and I get to do all of the fun interviews. He would not want to do any of that. He’s like, “Well, you deserve it, Babe.” He’s just so sweet about it, and he realizes we play our roles.
Child: You signed a deal with Rohan Oza on Shark Tank last December. What has that been like? AE: In the beverage industry, he’s like Steve
Jobs or Bill Gates as far as shaping brands and starting at the bottom and working his way all the way up to make you a really successful national brand. They actually didn’t tell us he was a Shark—you don’t know who your Sharks are until the night before you go on. The whole Shark Tank process is very hush hush. They don’t tell you you’re going to be on the show until a week before. Child: And you were nine months pregnant. AE: Yeah, they are like, “Are you sure you can fly?” I’m like, “I will have my baby in California. I am coming to Shark Tank.” So we’re backstage at Shark Tank. I didn’t want to stress myself out because I didn’t want to go into labor. I think was a blessing that I was so pregnant because it kind of brought this calmness over me. You’re actually in there for like an hour talking with them, and they cut it down. You pour your blood, sweat and tears into this thing.
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Child: What’s the biggest thing that’s happened since signing with Rohan? AE: Something crazy, which we haven’t told anybody yet, is
we’re actually changing the name of the company. What we’ve found is vinegar is very polarizing—the word “vinegar.” It just scares a lot of people off. So we’re actually just marketing ourselves different to be more successful and go after more consumers. We’re basically just recategorizing ourselves as a prebiotic soda. It’s the exact same liquid. Our formula is not changing at all. Child: Sounds like people are judging a book by its cover. AE: It’s funny—in consumer studies [with the new packaging] everyone is like, “This tastes so much better with the prebiotic soda.” It’s the exact same. We’re switching from bottle to the cans because glass is definitely recyclable, but cans are a lot easier, and we’re trying to do our part with the footprint of being easy to recycle. The packaging is really fun and cool and more for the masses. This [current] packaging is very feminine. We found a lot of women were buying it for their husbands, and then they got hooked, but if they walked up on the shelf, they wouldn’t pull it themselves. Literally just because of the look. What’s really been amazing through the whole process is Rohan is very involved with the decision-making and the big stuff, but he’s not interested in running the day-to-day. He still really values us as founders. Child: It seems like this has been a major passion project for you and your husband no matter how much work it takes. AE: It goes back to
the fact that I didn’t start this to get rich. I genuinely had a problem, this solved it, and I wanted to help other people. I know it can make people feel better—I get emails and people are calling. We have grown quite a bit, but we’re still small in the scheme of things. At the beginning of the year, we just started paying ourselves. My husband finally got to quit the second job that he was working that was paying our mortgage. It’s just crazy because everyone thinks, “Oh, you guys made it, you were on Shark Tank,” but it’s still so scrappy.
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real moms / 5
THINGS …
INTERVIEW HEATHER VANCE DEVERS
A FULL LIFE how allison ellsworth fills her well and her “me” time
FO R A R E BO OT
IN OIL AND GAS, WE MADE PRETTY GOOD MONEY—FOR ME, GOING TO GET MY NAILS DONE EVERY OTHER WEEK OR ONCE A WEEK WAS LIKE NO BIG DEAL, AND BEFORE YOU HAD KIDS, YOU HAD TIME TO DO THAT TOO. BUT NOW IT’S A REALLY BIG LUXURY TO GO GET A MANICURE AND PEDICURE. I STILL ONLY DO IT ONCE OR TWICE A YEAR HONESTLY BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE TIME, BUT WHEN I DO, I AM JUST LIKE, ‘AHH, THIS IS SO NICE.
‘‘
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g “I love Justin Timberlake, Justin Bieber and the stuff on the radio. I used to
3
FO R A FA M I LY VAC ATI O N
have my pulse on music
and go to festivals and do all that fun stuff. Now, I just enjoy listening to what’s popular.”
g “For podcasts, probably How I Built This and This American Life. I like something that’s just easy, maybe a little educational kind of podcast.” How I Built This // npr.org/podcasts This American Life // thisamericanlife.org
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november 2019 / northtexaschild
FO R D I N I N G O UT
4
“I am gluten free, so my options are very limited. And I’m a pretty big cook, so we don’t eat out that often, but when we do my go-to’s are probably Flower Child or HG SPLY CO. FLOWER CHILD // Multiple locations; iamaflowerchild.com
HG SPLY CO // 2008 Greenville Ave., Dallas; 469/334-0895; hgsplyco.com
FO FORRFA S EMLFI LYC A TIM R EE “My absolutely favorite thing in the entire world is going to a yoga class. I used to go to Lifetime Fitness. I was obsessed; the kids love it. We moved a month ago, so I’m actually looking for a studio right now.”
STEPHEN’S FAMILY HAS A HOUSE IN NEWPORT BEACH. WE GO EVERY SINGLE YEAR, AND IT’S LIKE A HOME AWAY FROM HOME. IT’S ON THE BEACH WITH THE KIDS, AND IT’S NICE NOT BEING IN A HOTEL. YOU’VE GOT THE GROCERIES AND YOU CAN COOK, AND THE NAPS. IT’S JUST MAYBE THE ONE PLACE IN THE WORLD THAT WE CAN GET AWAY.
PHOTOS COURTESY OF NPR; CARTER ROSE; ARIANA LEYVA; ©ISTOCK;
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FO R LI S TE N I N G
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a thursday in the life of
RANDI SKINNER University of North Texas alum Randi Skinner is a civic-minded Dentonite: Denton Rotary Club member, Denton Parks Foundation board member, past president of Denton Young Professionals … but she spends most of her time being a mompreneur (or drinking wine on patios). Skinner recently left her marketing career to launch RS Consulting, and she and her husband, Aaron, had their first child, Easton, on Valentine’s Day this year.
3
AM My baby alarm (aka Easton) wakes me up, ready to eat! I zombie walk to the kitchen hoping I filled up the bottles already. Yes! I did. (Thank you, Yesterday Randi.) Bottle goes into the warmer, then Easton and I walk around the house for six minutes exactly. If I lie back down, it’s too risky; I might miss the bottle timer, and it will be way too hot. Then my potentially 20 minutes up could turn into double that … so we walk. 3:20AM Easton is fed. I lie back in my bed with her on my chest and rock her a bit to help her fall back to sleep. 5AM I wake up to my husband getting ready for work. He usually feeds Easton and takes care of our dog, but this morning I get up to help. 7AM Easton is up for the day. Snuggle time! One of the reasons I started my own business is to spend more time with Easton, so mornings are just that—we get time together.
7:45AM Heat up Easton’s next bottle. Help her into a sitting position. She is sitting up all by herself these days. Proud mom. 8AM I try to get myself ready for the day. Some days I have to tote Little Miss Easton around with me; other days she will hang out and watch a show or play in her activity center. This morning she decides she wants to watch an extra episode of Elmo. 9AM I work from home two days a week and at my office three days. I run a marketing agency, so this morning I am working on designing a brochure and planning an event for a client’s grand opening. 9:30AM Easton needs a change of scenery, so we grab her keyboard and the three melodies it can play. 10AM Working one-handed, holding Easton. I have become a pro at one-handed design, emails and typing. 10:30AM My in-laws, Brian and Lois (aka Grandpa and Baba), show up to take care of Easton. She loves getting to spend time with them, and her full-faced grin when they walk in the door sure shows it. 11AM I head out the door and to my first business meeting of the day at Jupiter House, a locally owned coffee shop on the Denton Square. This is my favorite place to have meetings. I order the Crazy Cosmonaut, a latte with hazelnut and almond flavors. So yummy! 11:45AM Run into a few friends at Jupiter House. I always see someone I know because Denton is just that kind of place. 12PM Head over for lunch at the Denton Rotary Club Noon. We break bread together, learn about upcoming service projects and meet new members, and I get to spend time with some of my favorite Denton leaders. 2PM Head to my office. I co-work out of Stoke. I have a standing weekly meeting at Stoke with one of my favorite clients. 4:45PM I jump onto the Facebook group Family Friendly Denton. I put together this group with the hope of creating opportunities for businesses in Denton to be more intentionally family-friendly. 5:15PM Happy hour at Wine Squared on the Denton Square with a girlfriend. Yes, please! 6:30PM Head home and make dinner. I am all for simple meals. A lot of times I prep meals for the week. Tonight we’re having pesto chicken pasta. (Thank you, Sunday Randi.) 7PM Aaron is getting Easton ready for bed while I finish up dinner. Bath time and pajamas are happening now. Mom tip: I think the best PJs are the ones that are footed with a zipper. It makes late-night and early changes quicker, plus keeps her toes nice and cozy all night. 7:30PM Dinnertime. We set Easton up at
Diaries are penned by moms (and dads) in the North Texas area. The authors volunteer to share a day of their choosing and are not paid or endorsed by NorthTexasChild. Send your diary to editorial@dfwchild.com. All submissions are subject to editing and may be cut for space. 16
november 2019 / northtexaschild
PHOTO COURTESY OF STEPHANIE HONEYCUTT
real moms / R O U T I N E S
the fine
WHAT SHE DOES WHEN LIFE GETS STRESSFUL Spend time with friends, take a bubble bath and start over BEST VACATION Aaron
and I went to Isla Mujeres for two of our friends’ double wedding! We drove around the island on a golf cart, sat by the beach every morning and ate all the guacamole my heart desired. Aaron, when are we going back? FAVORITE INDULGENCE A spa day! Like “the works� kind of day where you do massage, facial, nails and all the things. FAVORITE MOVIE Dirty Dancing FAVORITE DATE NIGHT SPOT Anywhere on the Downtown Denton Square! We love going to Barley & Board and East Side Denton. When you’re out and about on the square in our city, we call it #Dentoning. So fav date night would be #Dentoning. BEVERAGE OF CHOICE Wine or a “Bom-boise�—it’s Bombshell Blonde beer topped off with framboise, this raspberry lambic beer. It’s the perfect drink for a patio. BEST PURCHASE EVER Our corgi! CELEBRITY MOM SHE ADMIRES The Prime Minister of New Zealand, Jacinda Ardern. She brought her 3-month-old to work with her. That’s right—Parliament floor with her baby. SELF-CARE SPOT Soma Massage Therapy in Denton SOMETHING SHE LEARNED THIS WEEK How to create a
custom invitation on Evite SHE’S REALLY GOOD AT
ILLUSTRATION BY ARIANA LEYVA
Marketing SHE’S REALLY BAD AT Being patient. But I am getting better.
the table with us—we use the Bumbo seat and just put her directly on the table. I think it’s so much easier than a regular high chair. And she loves it. 8PM Family reading! As part of Easton’s bedtime routine, we lie on the floor in her nursery. She hangs out on this fluffy unicorn pillow while her dad reads her a few books. 8:30PM I warm up a bottle and rock Easton to sleep to my favorite lullaby, “Hush, Little Baby.� 9PM Easton is asleep, and Aaron and I get a little adult time. We hang out on our patio for a bit and then watch Netflix. 10PM Easton wakes up, and Aaron puts her back to sleep. Aaron and I then start our bedtime routine and climb in for the night. 11:30PM I sneak out to the living room and watch an episode of Law & Order SVU before heading back to bed.
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northtexaschild / november 2019
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burn When did feeling exhausted and overwhelmed become our everyday reality? WORDS JESSICA ELLIOTT
ABOVE //
Burnout is "akin to having a completely overwhelming day— day after day."
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PHOTOGRAPHY CINDY JAMES
PART NO. 1
STA I WA NDI S NG I N KIT THE C EYEHEN ING
a full pot of chili I’d absentmindedly left out overnight, made to last at least a few dinners. A year before, I’d have spent some energy upset about the waste. Instead, I shrugged and blankly stared out the kitchen window, the trees becoming a hazy blur as the chili slid down the drain. I was too tired to care. This wasn’t the first day I’d had such an apathetic reaction. Off and on for months, I’d felt impatient, anxious, maybe even uninterested in parenting. It was a challenging state of mind, one I’d drifted into while caring for my 2-year-old son and 5-month-old identical twin daughters. As the chili disappeared, I gave up on assembling a solidly nutritious lunch for my son and poured him some cereal. That’s when it hit me: I was burned out. Toasted. Crisped to a multigrain Cheerios level that required far more intervention than a coffee date or pedicure. Though it was little consolation, I knew I wasn’t alone. Late-night or rapid-fire naptime texts from friends often consisted of confessions—of exhaustion, of feeling overwhelmed, of day-to-day parenting minutiae leading to minimal patience, dissatisfaction and emotional withdrawal. The number of moms reeling from this host of emotions is well documented in books, articles, medical journals and surveys. A Care.com survey from 2014, for instance, found that “one in four working moms cry alone at least once a week,” due to the stressors of balancing work, child care and household duties. And “Exhausted Parents,” a study published in
Frontiers in Psychology in 2017, documented that nearly 13% of mothers are experiencing “high burnout.” There’s an official term for this hung-out-to-dry state: It’s “mommy burnout,” and it’s widely recognized as a real—and potentially serious—problem. It creates a seemingly inescapable emptiness that impedes your ability to properly care for yourself—and your family. Despite previously devoting your full being to every aspect of your child’s life, it becomes hard to enjoy a moment with them—hard to simply think. You lose interest in parenting and have a hard time coping. Burnout makes you irritable, moody, unable to manage responsibilities—in short, it’s the worst version of yourself on autopilot. It’s a dark place, and it’s one that more and more moms are finding themselves in.
DO I HAVE MOMMY BURNOUT?
After months of mothering, it was clear I’d reached an utterly drained state of mind. I took a burnout quiz created by two of the “Exhausted Parents,” researchers, Isabelle Roskam and Moira Mikolajczak. (You can quickly gauge your own burnout level by taking the assessment at parentalburnout.com.) According to the quiz, I am at the “moderate burnout” level, meaning I need to get to a better place—soon. The intensity of mommy burnout lies between stress and postpartum depression, according to the “Exhausted Parents” study. Burnout compounds when perceived demands continually outweigh resources—when there is no respite from acute stress. In other words, it happens when stress becomes chronic. It’s akin to having a completely overwhelming day—day after day. “It’s like a bank account that keeps dwindling,” says Katie Sardone, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and owner of Behavioral Health Dallas who specializes in peripartum and postpartum depression. “You hit your limit and you keep going, and once you overdraft, there are fees and fines, and you’re going into debt. It takes so long for people to see that they are in the red.” In simply struggling to get through the day, it’s easy to miss warning signs on the road to burnout. Cognitive errors, such as being at fault in a minor accident or making an unusual mistake at the office, are red flags, Sardone says. Sheryl Ziegler spent years observing mothers who were suffering from the rigors of parenthood. When she had her second
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child, the Denver-based doctor of psychology began to struggle alongside her patients. “I felt like I was drowning,” she says. “I didn’t have enough time, and thought, ‘Am I even a good mom anymore?’” This led her to write Mommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Life and Raise Healthier Children in the Process. In her book, Ziegler, who now has three kids under 11, notes that signs of burnout also include having too little energy to speak to friends, having less interest in sex, erratic and unhealthy eating, and self-deprecation. “A hallmark of mommy burnout is that you no longer feel good at your job,” Ziegler says. In a 2018 study published in Frontiers in Psychology, researchers Sarah Hubert and Isabelle Aujoulat found the same underlying theme in worn-out moms: fear. Moms are afraid of being bad parents, afraid of losing control and afraid of losing their sense of self.
experts and research confirm that intensive parenting norms and the pressure for perfectionism—both societal and individual—are two of the main culprits. Parents are feeling more pressure to raise successful, well-rounded kids, possibly thanks in part to income inequality. In the U.S., inequality has drastically risen since the ’80s, and as economists Matthias Doepke and Fabrizio Zilibotti explained in a Quartz article earlier this year, the wider the economic disparity, the higher the parenting fervor. Fueled by concern for their kids’ futures, middle- and upper-class parents are trying their best to ensure their kids go to college and have successful careers. “My goodness, the pressure on these moms and dads to have their kids in every activity known to man,” says Beth Ann Contreras, a licensed therapist and counselor and the Bedford site director for Logos Counseling. Contreras and her husband BURNOUT, DEPRESSION OR ANXIETY? THE NOT-SOhave three grown daughters, GREAT ESCAPE and now she’s watching While mommy burnout can have seri•Experiencing real problems with The evening after deliverthem raise children of their ous ramifications, it isn’t genetic and concentration? ing my twins via unexpected own in this environment of medicine is not required for treatment. •Experiencing headaches and C-section, I found myself frantic overscheduling. Anxiety and depression, meanwhile, are stomachaches? downright relaxed—giddy, “It borders on insanpsychiatric disorders that can require •Having suicidal thoughts or fantasies even—as I lay in my hospiity,” she laments, adding medicine and/or therapy for complete such as “disappearing permanently”? healing. (They also can be experienced tal bed. My 19-month-old that of course parents feel •Abandoning your goals completely? simultaneously.) •Snapping at people easily and rainbow baby, my first son, the strain of “being in the But how can you determine whether exhibiting close to zero patience for was snoozing in his crib (conright place at the right time, you’re dealing with mommy burnout, your kids or spouse? firmed via iPhone app), the with the right clothing and postpartum depression (PPD), general •Struggling to get out of bed in the substantial weight and stress the right equipment, in the depression or anxiety? Burnout crosses morning and fantasizing about of carrying my preemies right car…” into postpartum depression, for instance, sleeping all the time? had lifted, and the girls were This might be why when a mother’s daily abilities are being cared for in the NICU. “overzealous, overcommitseverely impaired and she is unable to eat, Then you might be depressed. sleep and take care of herself. Because Dinner was delivered, and it ted” parents are most at depression or anxiety might require HAVE YOU BEEN… felt like I was on vacation. risk for burnout, according different interventions than burnout, it’s •Preoccupied with something most Before the twins, I’d to the “Exhausted Parents” important to seek help from a doctor days of the week and hours of the devoted every minute to study. or therapist when symptoms start to day for the past six months? my precious son, and while In any case, it is clear interfere with daily life. •Experiencing trouble sitting still, pregnant, didn’t feel good we are devoting a lot more Here are a few symptoms that cross fatigue, trouble concentrating, enough to take any sort of time to hands-on parentthe line from burnout to depression or agitation, tight or sore muscles, or anxiety, according to Mommy Burnout by real vacation. (Not to mening. According to Pew difficulty falling or staying asleep? Sheryl Ziegler. •Dealing with so much worry that it tion I worked harder than Research Center data, the causes significant stress and ever to earn the time off and average time U.S. mothers HAVE YOU BEEN… interferes with daily life? financial cushion I’d need spent caring for children •Engaging in reckless behavior to when my twins arrived.) increased by four hours escape your family and responsibilities? Then you might be anxious. Sadly, I’m not alone in weekly from 1965 to 2016. enjoying a hospital visit. A 2016 study for the Maybe you know the feelNational Council on Family ing—that urge to “escape” for a break, even if it were intentionally overinvolved “gradually Relations’ Journal of Marriage and Family means being in an unfavorable situation. developed a sense of being overwhelmed by the found much the same. Women suffering from burnout often look pressure that they perceived was being put on Ziegler notes that because of this increase in to debilitating circumstances for downtime, them.” And they blamed themselves instead of engagement, today’s families lack the freedoms Ziegler says. their situation—I know I did—therefore becomwe—and therefore, our parents—once had. In “When women tell me they want to run away ing both the “victims and perpetrators.” the past, “there was much more of an emphasis or get injured so they will be taken care of for a So, do these internal pressures or societal to go outside and play, and ‘Don’t come in until change, I hear chronic stress that has turned into and other external pressures cause burnout? it’s dark,’” she says. “Now we are like, ‘Let’s do mommy burnout ringing through,” she writes. The answer is a mix. flash cards together.’ We have taken on the role She speaks from experience—once, she of play dates, coaches and stimulators.” thought she might need surgery and was looking STRESSONOMICS I can relate. Homemade sensory or motorforward to a “much-needed break.” Then when Parental burnout triggers are wide ranging, but skill-building activities found via Pinterest? 20
november 2019 / northtexaschild
doctors determined she didn’t need surgery after all, Ziegler was actually disappointed not to be getting a “night off” in the hospital. Not only do burned-out mothers feel a loss of self-identity, they also feel trapped. And that’s how they end up fantasizing about having an ailment or sickness that warrants a night away. Eight months after my hospital stay, following severe sleep deprivation (my husband and I clocked three hours in total too many nights to count), near-constant pumping, and a home as dirty as I’d ever lived in, I found solace in spending two hours at Starbucks working. It was an escape, if temporary. You can’t quit motherhood like you can a job—and this can ultimately lead to frustration and emotional distancing. Burnout is often reinforced by feelings of “guilt, shame and loneliness,” the 2018 study says. The researchers found that mothers who
Check. Apps with tips on challenging your newborn daily? Check. As we’re spending more time on parenting, we’re also spending more time at work. Pew Research Center data shows that mothers spend 16 more hours a week at their jobs than they did in 1965. (To help balance the difference, we’ve cut time on household chores, but there’s still a two-hour disparity.) Not only are we working more and spending more time with our children—we have less help. Experts say there are vast differences in the familial structure today versus that of the 1950s and ’60s. “Throughout the history of humans, communities used to raise babies together,” says Sardone, who has two daughters, ages 4 and 2. Now, “it’s more common to live away from parents and has become harder and harder to get practical support.” Ziegler agrees. “We don’t raise children around our extended families, and we are not meant to raise generations of children without help,” she says.
SHE’S A SUPER MOM
Even with abundant resources, women often have a hard time delegating, which could be credited to an unspoken societal pressure to be “supermom.” Kelly Krug, a physician assistant at Olympus Family Medicine in Frisco, attributes our society’s “females can do everything” mentality to some of our stress. “I’m not opposed to the idea that women should have equal rights, but we haven’t managed our expectations,” explains Krug, who has a 14-year-old stepson, 6-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter. “Women are expected to be CEO of a company and manage the household, creating grocery lists and helping with bills. Any woman can’t keep all of those balls up at the same time.” Krug works three days a week and stays home the other two days, and still struggles to maintain a balance. “Trying to juggle naps, appointments and take care of tiny humans that are needing all day long is exhausting,” she says. She believes our empowerment is a doubleedged sword: “Women are taking on the role that men traditionally did of working fulltime, then trying to be a perfect mom, perfect employee and perfect wife, and it’s impossible.” These high expectations are costly, resulting in “maternal guilt, lower self-efficacy beliefs, and higher stress levels,” notes a 2018 study titled “Feeling Pressure To Be a Perfect Mother Relates to Parental Burnout and Career Ambitions.” What’s more, mothers fear “social penalties” for falling short of these high standards—perhaps feeling like an outsider or being looked down upon by other parents. To make matters worse, efforts to live up to these standards only worsen perfectionism, which is rampant among mothers. Psychologist
ABOVE // "WE ARE DEVOTING A LOT MORE TIME TO HANDS-ON PARENTING. ACCORDING TO PEW RESEARCH CENTER DATA, THE AVERAGE TIME U.S. MOTHERS SPENT CARING FOR CHILDREN INCREASED BY FOUR HOURS WEEKLY FROM 1965 TO 2016."
Paula Miltenberger, Ph.D., of Dallas-based Women’s Mental Wellness says about 85% of her clients struggle with unattainable expectations. “A lot of women tend to have perfectionist personalities, which can lead to never feeling good enough,” she says. This pressure leads to a dangerous thinking pattern of I should or I must. “When our thinking patterns get that way, we add additional stress on ourselves,” she adds. Then there’s that other big stressor that feeds right into our own self-doubt: social media. It’s a pressure-cooker of images from parents who expertly conjure balanced (and, of course, organic) bento box meals, make crafts that rival preschool teachers’ projects, and assemble magical playrooms. Moms in the past didn’t have this “barometer people were judging themselves by,” says Miltenberger. “I don’t have a bone in my body that can craft, but if I were to look at all these mothers on social media who do crafting, I’d be setting myself up for disappointment and negative thoughts.” Which is what many of us do—to our own detriment. “Social media can significantly exacerbate depression and anxiety,” Sardone says. For many, time spent on social media is a substitute for real phone conversations or time
spent with friends—those face-to-face connections that Ziegler contends are key to motherhood fruition. “One of the reasons moms are so unhappy is the lack of connection and isolation in motherhood,” she says. “Moms are very isolated,” agrees Contreras. She says that stay-at-home moms, especially, can lose their sense of self because they lack meaningful interactions with family, friends, neighbors, even strangers at the grocery store. “A stay-at-home mom doesn’t have what historically women had, which is connection,” she explains. “It’s all about the child, and they don’t have an adult to speak to all day long.” In short, we are loaded with more expectations and work than ever before, with less support than ever before. It all equates to lots of stress and little personal time for matriarchs. Unfortunately, healing requires more than a quick fix. As I’ve discovered in my own efforts to achieve postpartum normalcy, beating burnout is a journey that requires consistent dedication and the most precious of commodities: time. Read the December issue of NorthTexasChild, on newsstands the last week of November, for part two of this series. northtexaschild / november 2019
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SCHOOL GUIDE //
School G U I D E
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kid culture.
©ISTOCK
WORN OUT
how to protect your kid from burnout WORDS LISA SALINAS
A
FTER A LONG DAY, YOUR KIDS MIGHT BE MORE AGITATED AND LESS
likely to want to do their homework—or anything, for that matter. But when do these outward expressions of fatigue become telltale signs of more than just that long-day crankiness? We use the term “burnout” when talking about adults feeling completely overworked and overwhelmed. (Read about mommy burnout on page 18.) But kids can suffer from burnout too. It’s defined as physical and emotional exhaustion and having a lack of motivation. Laura Wright, family therapist at Cook Children’s, defines the key elements of burnout. “[It’s] a breakdown of being overstimulated and not having enough down time to recharge,” northtexaschild / november 2019
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kid culture / W O R N
Get Involved OPPORTUNITIES TO HELP YOUR COMMUNITY
she explains. “A physical, mental, emotional collapse.” Wright, who’s been practicing for 10 years, says she has seen several young patients experiencing burnout, even kids as young as 5—yes, 5. One particular 5-year-old patient has a full plate: soccer, T-ball, family outings almost every night and on top of all that, kindergarten. The new kid culture is a culture of busyness: While involvement in after-school clubs and lessons has fluctuated over the past couple of decades, the number of children ages 6–17 involved in sports has increased according to the U.S. Census Bureau—in 1998, 36% of kids were involved in sports compared to 42% in 2014. And younger elementary kids seem to have more homework than they did in the 1980s, per data from the National Assessment of Educational Progress—more homework but less recess and free play time. All of this activity can add up to burnout. As your kiddos’ first line of defense, you can watch for burnout symptoms and find a plan to help your kids truly feel and do their best in the things they love. STRESS FACTORS
GIVE ME A CHANCE. VOLUNTEER YOUR TIME.
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TO PROMOTE YOUR VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES, EMAIL ADVERTISING@DFWCHILD.COM
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OUT
your kiddos up for extracurriculars such as basketball or dance, on top of taking them to social events on the weekends because you want them to make new friends. “[Parents feel pressure] to get their kids involved in so much more because they feel like their kids are going to get left behind or left out, or they’re not going to be successful later in life, and so they’re just kind of guilted into that path of overscheduling,” Wright says. BURN(OUT) RELIEF
Signs that your kiddos are burned out include a sudden disinterest in things that they used to love, complaining that they don’t want to do something, and procrastinating. “[They are] just having less enjoyment or pride in what they’re doing,” Wright says. Sometimes an extreme change might be needed to address your kids’ burnout symptoms. Polk and her husband decided to move—now in Rowlett, they’ve cut the school commute by more than half. But smaller steps can be taken to prevent burnout too. Wright recommends taking a step back and doing one thing at a time. For example, don’t enroll your kid in soccer and baseball at the same time. And help them manage the time they spend on dayto-day activities such as school and chores. “Teach them how to take effective breaks,” she says. This is something Polk does with her kids—they tackle homework piece by piece. “[My son] will work on it a little bit, while I’m making dinner,” she explains. “And in the morning, while I’m preparing breakfast, I’ll say, ‘Hey, let’s start your homework, let’s see if we can get a little more done. Or we’ll just practice spelling words while I’m cooking.” Wright stresses the importance of checking in on your kids. Talk to them about how they’re feeling. “Ask about their needs,” she says. She also mentions giving your kids unstructured time, which she says shouldn’t be synonymous with screen time. This
“GIVING UNSTRUCTURED TIME HELPS KIDS LEARN TO MANAGE THEIR FEELINGS, TO COPE WITH UNCOMFORTABLE FEELINGS.”
Local mom Courtney Polk noticed her two young kids, ages 3 and 5, were showing signs of exhaustion from their long commute to and from school (a drive of a little over an hour—multiply that by five days a week). She explained that her 5-yearold son would become frustrated when he would do his homework and would sometimes cry. “[He] would just give up,” Polk says. “I want him to be excited about learning and want to learn. It’s hard to find that balance, pushing him to do it, and knowing we have to do it, but also not overwhelming him— that was really difficult with us getting home so late.” Aside from school and long commutes, extracurricular activities can also add to that feeling of exhaustion. Remember Wright’s 5-year-old patient? As parents, it’s natural to want our kids to excel in all aspects of life. You might sign
should be a time where kids get to play freely. “Giving unstructured time helps kids learn to manage their feelings, to cope with uncomfortable feelings,” she says. Take your kids out to the playground or a walk (weather permitting, of course). Polk tries to make sure her and her kids’ weekends stay free of work for the most part. One of her son’s favorite pastimes is going to the discount store Five Below. “He looks forward to the weekends and going to Five Below if he’s had a great week,” she shares. “Even if he doesn’t do that great, we still celebrate his accomplishments.”
RECHARGE & RESET Although this might seem like you’re adding one more thing to your and your kid’s to-do list, yoga classes can actually help them learn how to refocus their energy and cope with their emotions. Consider replacing something on the schedule with one of these kids’ yoga and meditation classes, and we’ve included a few athome resources to try too. Just released earlier this fall, Stress Stinks by Bryan Smith tells the story of little Amelia, who is overwhelmed by school, extracurricular activities and social worries. The book talks about her feelings and stressors and how her mom helps her through these feelings. Recommended for ages 5–11. boystownpress.org The Aubrey Area Library has yoga on Wednesdays after school beginning at 4:30pm, lasting about an hour. Classes are geared toward age 6 and up and include a warmup, games and a book. (We can’t have a yoga class in a library without a story, right?) Parents are welcome to the classes too. 226 Countryside Drive, Aubrey; 940/365-9162; aubreytx.gov
IMAGES COURTESY OF BOYSTOWN PRESS; COSMIC KIDS YOGA
DFW Sahaja Meditation hosts meditation classes for kids all throughout the Metroplex, including Coppell and Irving. RSVP for a session near you online. If you can’t make it to a class, join the online meditation class on Saturday mornings at 11am (in your PJs, of course). Multiple locations; dfwmeditation.com
To Rent or To Buy?
The last—and arguably the most crucial— aspect of choosing an instrument is the question of renting or buying. “It’s always the most cost effective to work with the music company to rent the instrument in at least the first year,” explains Andre Yanniello, co-owner of Williamson Music 1st in Plano, “because most instruments, like cars, as soon as you drive them out a lot, they begin to decrease the value.” One option is renting to own, which allows you to put your rental payments toward the full cost of the instrument until your child is the proud new owner. But according to Laura Glidden, a local lesson manager for Music & Arts, if your child is fully committed to playing their instrument, buying instead of renting saves money in the long run.
If your child is more of a visual learner, check out Cosmic Kids Yoga’s YouTube channel. Episodes incorporate stories and themes—such as cats, Pokémon and Frozen—with yoga poses and guided meditation. youtube.com/cosmickidsyoga The yoga classes at Yogi Kids and Fit Family incorporate songs and games while teaching breathing techniques, mindfulness and guided relaxation. Classes for the littles (4–8) are Tuesday at 6:15pm and Saturday at 10am; classes for ages 9–13 take place Tuesday at 7pm. Be sure to RSVP for classes online. 3051 Churchill Drive, Suite 250, Flower Mound; 214/325-2547; myyogikids.com
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AMON CARTER MUSEUM OF
AMERICAN ART
You’re in for a surprise. After an exciting renovation, we’re transforming the way you can experience American art, with reimagined galleries, expanded exhibition spaces, and new events. Always free. Always inspiring.
THINK YOU KNOW THE CARTER? THINK AGAIN.
Discover the new Carter. CARTERMUSEUM.ORG #CARTERART @THEAMONCARTER Georgia O’Keeffe (1887–1986), Series 1, No. 1, 1918, oil on composition board, © 2012 The Georgia O’Keeffe Foundation / Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York
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the agenda HILD.COM
R DAILY E
VISIT
FO
DF
WC
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WORDS ELIZABETH SMITH
19 F A M I L Y - F R I E N D L Y E V E N T S Y O U C A N ’ T M I S S I N
NOVEMBER HOLIDAY AT THE ARBORETUM
NOV. 15–JAN. 5 // HEAD TO ONE OF THE MOST BELOVED CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS IN TEXAS FOR ICE! FEATURING A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS IN GRAPEVINE AT THE GAYLORD.
PHOTOS COURTESY OF GAYLORD TEXAN RESORT & CONVENTION CENTER; CITY OF CARROLLTON; THE BRAD SIMON ORGANIZATION
FALL FESTIVAL HONORING VETERANS
U N IT Y PARK November 2 Ahead of Veterans Day on Nov. 11, bring the whole family to salute the Denton County Veterans Coalition during this patriotic family day with plenty of entertainment to be grateful for, from bounce houses and bubble balls to a petting zoo and live music from local bands. Want to squeeze in a family workout that morning? Sign up for the Tom Duffy Memorial 5K (registration from $20) benefiting Christian Community Action, or join the free Pilates class. 2200 Briarhill Blvd., Highland Village; 972/317-7430 highlandvillage.org
FESTIVAL AT THE SWITCHYARD
D OW N TOW N C A R ROL LTON November 2 The children’s entertainment lineup for this 10th annual festival on the square kicks off
inside Carrollton’s Plaza Arts Center. Don’t miss the axe juggling at 12:30pm, followed by break-dancers, a magician and a sword swallower-slashescape artist fresh from America’s Got Talent. Head back out into the square for rides and crafts with the kids before the Old 97’s and Tripping Daisy headline the evening rock concerts (open to all ages). FREE 1106 S. Broadway St., Carrollton carrolltonfestival.com
DFWCHILD’S PROJECT PRESCHOOL
TH E SHOPS AT W ILLOW BEND November 2 F RONTIER S OF F LIGH T MU SEUM November 3 Ready to enroll your child in preschool but have no idea how to decide which preschool? Let us guide you in your search by introducing you to top early childhood educators at our third annual
Project Preschool event on Saturday in Plano and on Sunday in Dallas. You’ll meet face to face with the heads of schools—Montessori and traditional, public and private—to learn about their teaching philosophies. FREE 6121 W. Park Blvd., Plano 6911 Lemmon Ave., Dallas 972/447-9188 dfwchild.com/events
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
ME DICA L CIT Y L EWISVILLE G R A ND THE AT E R November 8–10 The local thespians in training at Christian Youth Theater stage this Disney version of the “tale as old as time” starring the two title characters and a castle full of the most animated inanimate objects. Watch the petals fall and the music soar at the MCL Grand one weekend only. $14 tickets online; $16 at the door. 100 N. Charles St., Lewisville; 469/567-0196 cytdallas.org
DA LL AS A RB ORET UM November 9–December 31 The dozen glass gazebos, each featuring a different line from the song “12 Days of Christmas,” return to the arboretum for daytime viewing and, on select nights, nighttime viewing with all the lights and sparkle of the holiday season. Look online for a full list of holiday exhibits and activities and special festival pricing from $5. Separate tickets required for nighttime viewing. 8525 Garland Road, Dallas; 214/515-6615 dallasarboretum.org
POPOVICH COMEDY PET THEATER
IRVING A RT S CE NT E R November 15 More than 30 highly trained animals—rescued dogs and house cats, geese, white doves, parrots, and a Shetland pony named Diamond—make up the entourage of former Moscow Circus veteran
Gregory Popovich. The unbelievable show also features acrobats, mimes and contortionists as well as juggling and physical comedy by Popovich himself. Tickets from $6 for the morning show and from $16.50 for the evening show. 3333 N. MacArthur Blvd., Irving; 972/252-2787 irvingartscenter.com
ICE! FEATURING A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS
G AYLORD TEXAN November 15– January 5 Bundle up and buckle up to experience this real-life winter wonderland kept at a frigid 9 degrees. You’ll zip down two-story-tall ice slides and stroll through an exhibit of colorful ice sculptures, hand-carved from more than 2 million pounds of ice and modeled after scenes from the Charlie Brown holiday film. Even more fun at the Gaylord’s Lone Star Christmas includes ice skating, 12 lanes of snow
NOV. 2 // GO FOR THE RIDES AND STAY FOR THE ENTERTAINERS FROM AMERICA’S GOT TALENT AT THE FESTIVAL AT THE SWITCHYARD.
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CALENDAR for a double feature at the drive-in, open daily at 5:30pm. Admission is $8; $4 kids 5–11. 223 NE Fourth St., Fort Worth; 682/704-7711 or 817/698-0700 pantherislandice.com
OUR VILLAGE GLOWS
NOV. 16–JAN. 5 // MARVEL AT MINIATURE TRAINS AND CITYSCAPES AT THE TRAINS AT NORTH PARK IN DALLAS.
tubing, Santa’s Snow Throw, and Breakfast with Charlie Brown & Friends. Prices vary by activity. ICE! tickets are $23.99 for adults and $14.99 for children. 1501 Gaylord Trail, Grapevine; 817/778-1000 christmasatgaylordtexan.comv
HOT WHEELS MONSTER TRUCKS LIVE
DIC KIES ARE NA November 15–16 Six monster trucks—Bone Shaker, Tiger Shark, V8 Bomber, Demo Derby, Hot Wheels Racing 1 and the famed Bigfoot—roar into the brand-new Dickies Arena for epic stunts, jumps and crashes. Come to the free Crash Zone Party before each show to meet the drivers and see the trucks up close. Tickets from $25 for adults; $8 for kids; $20 for military. Limit four kid tickets to one adult ticket. 1911 Montgomery St., Fort Worth; 800/745-3000 dickiesarena.com
TRI-TOWN AMAZING RACE
D OU BLETRE E R A NCH PARK November 16 You’ll need to think on your feet for this annual race with 12 pit stop challenges throughout Highland Village, Flower Mound and Lewisville. Recruit your family or friends age 8 and older to form a team of two to six people and meet at Doubletree Ranch Park first. Then you’ll step off in search of each stop presenting physical or mental challenges that encourage team bonding. Earn prizes for best group costume and social media contests. $40 for teams of two; $5 each additional team member. Register by Nov. 8. 310 Highland Village Drive, Highland Village; 972/317-7430 hvparks.com 30
THE TRAINS AT NORTHPARK
NORTH PAR K CENTER November 16–January 5 Make a coast-to-coast journey via this miniature train exhibit of 1,600 feet of track and scenes from landmarks across America. Take a closer look to see the recognizable locations in Dallas, plus some visitors from outer space. Tickets are $7 adults; $4 children ages 2–12; free for children under 2. Hand-painted railcars also available for purchase and to keep after the exhibit. All proceeds benefit the Ronald McDonald House of Dallas. 8687 N. Central Expressway, Dallas; 214/631-7354 thetrainsatnorthpark.com
NICK JR. LIVE! MOVE TO THE MUSIC
TH E TH EATR E AT GR AND PR AIR IE November 22–24 Dora the Explorer and PAW Patrol pups Marshall and Rubble team up with friends from Bubble Guppies, Blaze and the Monster Machines and more Nick Jr. favorites for this first-ever live show on tour. General tickets from $19. VIP tickets include a post-show meet and greet with Dora and Rubble and a photo op with Blaze. 1001 Performance Place, Grand Prairie; 888/929-7849 axs.com
PANTHER ISLAND ICE
C OYOTE DR IV E-IN November 22–January 20 Winter comes early to Fort Worth by way of this frozen outdoor ice skating rink open daily, including holidays. $13 admission includes skate rental and concession stand access. Come on Tuesday for half-price admission, and stay
november 2019 / northtexaschild
T HE SHOP S AT HIG HL A ND VILL AG E November 23 The Christmas season in Highland Village unofficially begins with the 60-foot-tall tree lighting to synchronized music at the city’s premier outdoor shopping center. Welcome Santa to the holiday festival, and spend the evening doing holiday crafts or hopping on a horse-drawn carriage ride through the center. FREE 1701 Shoal Creek, Highland Village; 972/317-7430 highlandvillage.org
TURKEY TROT
D OWNTOWN DE NTON November 28 While your Thanksgiving Day casseroles are safely warming in your ovens at home, start turkey day on the right foot by joining this early morning family run. Proceeds from the fifth annual Turkey Trot and Kids’ Gobble Wobble benefit the Denton Community Food Center. $30 for the 5K through Nov. 26; $35 on race day. Kids run free in the Gobble Wobble; $10 for kid’s T-shirt. 322 E. McKinney St., Denton dentonturkeytrot.com
NORTH POLE EXPRESS
G R A PEVINE VINTAG E R A ILROA D November 29–December 23 Let your littles live out their Christmas adventure fantasy inspired by The Polar Express storybook. Head to downtown Grapevine to board the vintage train cars where you’ll be greeted with chocolate milk and cookies. Once the train reaches its destination at the snowy North Pole Forest, you’ll disembark to walk through the forest toward Santa’s workshop and take in a performance from elves, Mrs. Claus and Santa himself. Tickets from $28. Seats sell out quickly, so purchase your tickets soon. 705 S. Main St., Grapevine; 817/410-3185 grapevinetexasusa.com/ christmas
DANCING KING & QUEENS As the holiday season nears, thoughts of sugarplums (and the Sugar Plum Fairy) dance in your head. Don’t miss these dreamy performances of The Nutcracker and more choreography-focused shows coming near you.
CATS
MUSIC HA LL AT FA IR PA RK November 5–17 A month before the new Cats movie-musical hits theaters, here’s your chance to awaken your “Memory” of the live production straight from Broadway and share it with the kids. See the coolest cats dance to new choreography and Andrew Lloyd Webber’s original score capturing the one magical night when a tribe of cats gathers for its annual ball. Recommended for age 5 and older. Tickets from $25. 909 First Ave., Dallas; 800/982-2787 dallassummermusicals.org
WORLD OF DANCE LIVE TOUR
T HE PAVILION AT TOYOTA MUSIC FACTORY November 7 If your family loves watching crazy talented dancers and choreographers bust a move on TV reality competition shows, then imagine the thrill of seeing some of the world’s hottest dancers and celebrity dancers up close. Check out this live dance showcase from NBC’s World of Dance coming to Irving. Tickets from $45. VIP tickets available for autographs and meet and greets. 300 W. Las Colinas Blvd., Irving worldofdance.com thepaviliontmf.com/event/world-of-dance
DISNEY ON ICE – DREAM BIG
A LLE N EVE NT CE NT E R November 27–December 1 This mashup of multiple Disney stories highlights the epic journeys of Coco’s Miguel, who travels through the Land of the Dead, Frozen’s Anna and Elsa, and more lead characters from some of Disney’s most recent films. Bring your whole family to this show during the Thanksgiving Day holiday to be inspired by each character’s story. Tickets from $35. Meet and greet with Belle and Mickey available as an add-on. 200 E. Stacy Road, Allen; 972/912-1057 disneyonice.com/dream-big
THE NUTCRACKER
IRVING A RT S CE NT E R November 29–December 1 See lords a-leaping—or at least soldiers and angels—when Momentum Dance Company celebrates its 15th anniversary season with a special production of The Nutcracker starring guest artists Juliann McAloon and Ronnie Underwood as the Sugar Plum Fairy and Cavalier, respectively. Stay after the show for the Sugar Plum Fairy Reception with treats and an opportunity to meet the fairy dancer herself. Tickets are $25 for adults and $15 for children. 3333 N. MacArthur Blvd., Irving; 972/252-2787 irvingartscenter.com
F O R M O R E F A M I LY- F R I E N D LY F U N T H I S M O N T H , C H E C K O U R O N L I N E C A L E N D A R A T DFWCHILD.COM/CALENDAR. A N D W H I L E Y O U ’ R E T H E R E , S I G N U P F O R O U R W E E K LY E - N E W S L E T T E R : THE WEEKEND GUIDE.
PHOTOS COURTESY OF LEAVEITT OLEAVITT; VSTAR ENTERTAINMENT GROUP; BRET REDMAN; ©ISTOCK
kid culture /
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northtexaschild / november 2019
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HOLIDAY FAMILY FUN DIRECTORY //
SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION
HOLIDAY FAMILY FUN DIRECTORY
Whether your thing is hot chocolate in your jammies or dressing up for a holiday theater performance, here’s a list of family-friendly events and winter activities to get you in the holiday spirit; find more to explore at dfwchild.com.
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Actors Conservatory Theatre getintotheact.org 972/436-8228
Frozen Jr., based on the 2018 Broadway musical, brings the princesses Elsa, Anna, and the magical land of Arendelle to life. A story of true love and acceptance, Frozen Jr. expands upon the emotional relationship and journey between the sisters. See ad on page 15.
Adventure Kids Playcare adventurekidsplaycare.com 972/899-9332
Spend the holidays with Adventure Kids! We offer flexible options for every parent's need! Drop in holiday camps, exciting theme nights, daily activities and so much more! See ad on page 9.
Christmas at the Anatole hiltonanatolehotel.com 214/748-1200
Christmas at the Anatole presents Peppermint Park! Enjoy Breakfast with Santa, games, activities and relaxing accommodations for the whole family. Book your wish-list weekend today!
City of Highland Village hvparks.com 972/317-7430
Celebrate the holiday season, visit with Santa and his reindeer, and plunge down the giant snow hill at Christmas at the Ranch! Join us Dec. 14 at Doubletree Ranch Park from 10am–2pm. See ad on page 15.
City of Irving irvingevents.org 972/721-2501
Irving's Holiday Parade and Tree Lighting will be held on Dec. 7 at 5pm in the Heritage District. The Tree Lighting follows the parade at City Hall, 825 W. Irving Blvd., with a fireworks show finale. See ad on page 17.
Denton Holiday Lighting Festival dentonholidaylighting.com 940/231-6831
Join us on the Denton Square for music, food, family fun, and holiday spirit at this oneof-a-kind community event! It’s free, with food and activities available for purchase—but please bring a toy for our toy drive benefiting Elves Shelves. See ad on page 4.
Explorium Denton Children's Museum exploriumdenton.org 940/320-5444
Join us for the second annual Coffee Crawl, sponsored by the City of Denton! Visit all six participating shops, then redeem your passport for a commemorative mug! Grab a friend, and prepare for coffee greatness! See ad on page 8.
november 2019 / northtexaschild
HOLIDAY FAMILY FUN DIRECTORY //
SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION
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Fort Worth Museum of Science and History fwmuseum.org 817/255-9300
All aboard! Polar Pajama Parties are your chance to enjoy wintry, hands-on activities coupled with the classic holiday film The Polar Express at the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History! See ad on page 13.
Gaylord Texan Resort christmasatgaylordtexan.com 817/778-1000
From Nov. 15, 2019 to Jan. 5, 2020, Gaylord Texan Resort will transform into a winter wonderland featuring millions of holiday lights, lavish decor, hand-carved ice, snow tubing, ice skating, gingerbread decorating and so much more! See ad on page 6.
Gift Of Lights at Texas Motor Speedway giftoflightstms.com 800/788-9627
Enjoy the magic of the holidays at Texas Motor Speedway Gift of Lights. Over 1 mile of gigantic light displays. Drive through the raceway, get a picture with Santa, ride the Santa Tram, ice skate, with refreshments in Santa’s Village!
Grapevine Convention & Visitors Bureau grapevinetexasusa.com/christmas 817/410-3185
Celebrate the magic of Christmas in Grapevine, the Christmas Capital of Texas! With 1,400 Christmas events in 40 days, enjoy millions of lights, enormous decorations, classic Christmas movies and more. It's more merry in Grapevine! See ad on page 5.
Greater Denton Arts Council dentonarts.com/family 940/382-2787
Free! Every third Saturday morning of the month Greater Donuts, Arts, & Crafts. Activities for the whole family from 10:30am–noon. Free donuts, make-and-take crafts, scavenger hunt and more. Something different each month.
Irving Arts Center irvingartscenter.com 972/252-7558
The annual open house Friday, Dec. 6, headlines IAC's "Holiday of Masterpieces" with train-rides, refreshments, art, activities and free performances in the theaters. Family photos with Santa are offered "Santa Saturdays" on Dec. 7, 14, 21. See ad on page 17.
Lakeside Holiday Event lakesidedfw.com 469/533-4141
Kick off the holiday season at The Shops at Lakeside on Friday, Nov. 29, from 5–9pm, and enjoy free carriage rides, Santa, hot cocoa, treats, and the season-ending, Christmas-infused Lakeside Music Series! See ad on page 15.
Lewisville Lake Environmental Learning Area llela.org 972/219-3550
Bundle up, and enjoy a breath of fresh air in Lewisville's 2600-acre Nature Preserve, LLELA! Join us for camping, fishing, hiking and holiday festivals as we #GetOutdoors all winter long! See ad on page 9.
Prairie Lights prairielights.org 972/237-4569
Drive through 4,000,000 lights at Lynn Creek Park on Joe Pool Lake. Half-way through the drive, stop at Holiday Village for vendors, concessions, carnival rides, an indoor holiday show, and the lighted walk-through forest.
The Shops at Highland Village theshopsathighlandvillage.com 972/317-7500
Fun events this holiday season include: Santa photo opportunities in his tree house, Santa brunch, Mrs. Claus book readings, Winter Adventure scavenger hunt, Christmas light shows, Victorian Christmas carolers and horse-drawn carriage rides. See ad on page 5.
The Theatre at Grand Prairie theatregp.com 972/854-5092
Cirque Musica presents Holiday Wishes brings a holiday story to life in a full theatrical cirque event for the entire family. Featuring the world-renowned cast of Cirque Musica with your favorite holiday hits all performed live by a full symphony orchestra.
Visit Mineral Wells merrywells.org 940/325-2557
Merry Wells is more than a festival, it's a month of holiday fun and festivities. Day-long festival, lighted Christmas parade, photos with Santa, Lighted Homes Scavenger Hunt, events and activities from Nov. 30–Dec. 25. See ad on page 28.
northtexaschild / november 2019
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confessions
MOM TRUTHS ILLUSTRATION MARY DUNN
WE TRIED A NEW SIPPY CUP WITH A SUCTION TOP. THE TOP WOULDN’T STAY, AND IN MY ATTEMPT TO FIX IT, THE TOP BURST OFF, EXPLODING MILK IN MY SON’S FACE.”
“The first time I took my new baby to my sister’s house to babysit, I was overprepared with multiple outfits, toys and blankets. I even had several bottles made … that I left at home. All that prep and no food!”
MY HUSBAND PUT OUR 6-MONTHOLD SON TO BED. HE WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT CRYING; HE AND THE BED WERE SOAKING WET. MY HUSBAND FORGOT TO PUT A DIAPER ON HIM BEFORE PUTTING HIS PAJAMAS ON!”
—KISHIA, FORT WORTH
—ASHLEY, DALLAS
I once sent my kid to school dressed up for character day a week early.” —CHRISSY, DENTON
—AUDREY, FORT WORTH
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COMPILED BY LISA SALINAS
november 2019 / northtexaschild
“While we were doing our Thanksgiving shopping, my 5-year-old granddaughter, who was eating Jelly Bellys, said very loudly, ‘This one tastes like beer!’ I immediately asked, ‘How on earth do you know what beer tastes like!?’ She said, ‘I meant root beer!’” —LEIGH, ARLINGTON
Got a funny parenting moment you’d like to share? We’d love to hear from you. Send it to editorial@dfwchild.com.
I slept late Thanksgiving night and was half asleep the next morning when I woke up. I put two different socks on my 11-month-old son without realizing, only to be told by the day care provider that my son threw the ‘oddly designed’ sock somewhere and she couldn’t find it. Now he’s got only one sock of that design.” —ARPITA, PLANO
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