BEYOND PERFECT: A GUIDE TO MANAGE PERFECTIONISM AND PROCRASTINATION TENDENCIES

By Jennifer de St. Georges

Imarried into dentistry! Edmond, my late husband, and I opened our scratch practice shortly after he graduated from dental school. For me, it was a whole new world. As I became acquainted with the local dentists, I found that Edmond’s perfectionism and management style were very similar to those of other dentists I met. As I transitioned from running our practice full-time to sharing my dental practice management expertise on the speaking circuit, my audiences confirmed dentistry attracts a certain type.

A psychologist attending one of my management programs shared with me that, in his opinion, dentistry attracts the most individualistic people of all professions. Dentists want/need to be their own boss and, unlike physicians, are happiest when not in a large group, like a hospital. Globally, psychologist Joseph Ferrari’s research shows around 20% of adults worldwide are considered “chronic procrastinators,” meaning they consistently put off tasks across various areas of their lives, signifying a significant global issue with procrastination affecting a substantial portion of the population.

I am a recovering perfectionist! I am frequently asked what I mean when I use the term. My interpretation of my self-diagnosis is that I acknowledge I have perfectionist traits and characteristics. ‘Recovering’ clearly shows that I am not denying this fact! I acknowledge I will never be cured. However, I work daily on utilizing the upside of perfectionism while reducing the limitations and frustrations perfectionism has brought into both my personal and professional life.

I have always believed we are born with specific characteristics and tendencies, with one’s childhood experiences having the ability to influence how these traits develop, both positively and negatively. Research in the medical profession tells us that perfectionism, while not directly ‘coded’ in our DNA, has a significant genetic component, with environmental factors playing a major role in how perfectionism manifests in a person.

My father was a perfectionist par excellence, which made for an interesting childhood and explains much of how I am wired today.

As perfectionists, we are seen by others of having a negative bent. When working with others, we tend to note the mistakes before acknowledging the positives. We do not consciously do this. We do not seek to find the shortcoming. They just jump out at us! We set very high standards for ourselves, and we transfer these standards to the rest of the world. I share with my audiences that I go through life with a lot of ‘unmet expectations.’

Over the years, I have learned to temper my approach to communicating as a manager/owner and to people in general. I have not changed my personality, but I have changed my management/communication style. For instance, the old Jenny, on receiving a completed project from a staff member, could be counted on to note any error before thanking them for completing the project. The current Jenny shows appreciation first for them returning the project on time and then adds ‘By the way I note a couple of errors. Can these be taken care of today?’ You will note the absence of the pronoun YOU, as in ‘You have made a couple of errors, you need to correct them.’ The word You is emotional and makes feedback very personal.

Focusing on the process, not the person, is nonjudgmental and factual.

When we apply ourselves to a project, our perfectionism standard and output are elevated on many levels, often way above what is practically required or needed. Life can be very black-and-white if we don’t learn to recognize it. When I lived in London, I trained to be a professional dancer: perfectionism is paramount when learning these skills and techniques. I thrived on the structure, discipline, and minute attention to detail. It became a 24/7 way of life. On entering the business world, I needed to learn to balance such a focused approach with a broader scope and acceptance.

Lists: Perfectionists have a love/hate relationship with lists. We keep too many of them. We find it easier to add an item to a list rather than stop and take care of the issue. We overload our To-Do List. At the end of the day, we berate ourselves for not accomplishing everything on Today’s List! We rarely congratulate ourselves on what we accomplished. We are so fond of our lists that when we complete a task NOT on our list, we have a deep need to write that undocumented action on the list for the pure satisfaction of crossing it off as ‘Done’! I read how a top CEO paid a consultant $25,000 to learn how to maintain effective To-Do lists. It cost him $25,000 to learn the answer was just to maintain ONE list.

Delegation: We did it once, but the completed project did not meet our standards. This makes it easier for perfectionists to justify that we stop delegating and handle projects that should be delegated. I realized one day my desk was piled high with stuff, and everyone else in the practice had desks devoid of any piles. I developed a different strategy. When an employee returns a project as impossible, I ask, ‘If I were not here today, what would be your next step?’ I then either confirm their approach as a good one or offer a suggestion to move the project forward. Additionally, with delegation, always remember to reconfirm both the priority and deadline.

Multi-tasking can be a cross to bear for perfectionists. Years ago, before I realized this, I hired an experienced administrative person for our practice’s administrative team. After the first two days, I found her in tears in the parking lot. She told me she couldn’t handle more than one patient or one phone call at a time. For years, I have shared my recommendation to hire non-dental staff for administrative responsibilities in dentistry, with my audiences. Hotels, airlines, banks, restaurants, and travel agencies are my primary resources. At one point, six of my seven corporate staff for JdSG International Inc. were from banking. Stanford released a white paper some years ago that showed multitasking reduced efficiency by 25%. That is in the academic world. In real life, we need to learn to multi-task. The challenge? How a perfectionist adapts to this need.

Leadership: Perfectionists do not have a great record for offering leadership, whether it be a CEO, business owner, entrepreneur, or doctor. I cover this subject in my programs with three phrases: 1-deliver it, 2-delegate it, 3-ignore it at one’s peril.

Procrastination is a by-product of perfectionism. How procrastinators choose to address their procrastination characteristics dramatically impacts their quality of life and relationships. Psychologists tell us that ‘procrastination is a self-defeating behavior pattern, but it can also serve a psychological purpose, especially for people with perfectionist tendencies. It protects the individual against fear of failure, judgment by others, and self-condemnation.’ Speaking only for myself, as a nonmedical person, I find this explanation a little simplistic! My ability to meet my goals and deadlines was solved when I addressed three specific areas.

Feeling overfaced? Create a list of small steps needed to allow one to progress in increments towards the larger goal.

Getting started is hard? A school of thought suggests that when a few minor tasks are first completed, a sense of accomplishment motivates us to then be able to address the important task of the day. I am unable to agree with this line of thinking. When I start with an ‘A’ or ‘B’ item on my list, I get sidetracked. I enjoy the sense of completion, so I continue with my less critical items. By the end of the day, I have run out of time and energy. My #1 priority has not been addressed. This does not work for me. My solution? The night before, I visualize myself starting the project the following day. On waking, I continue the process as I get up and brush my teeth. I continue the process by actively starting the project as the first item on my list. A dentist who does not want to know the patients coming in the next day because he/ she will dream about the dentistry all night, learns quickly NOT to visualize the night before. If this describes you, start your visualization lying in bed in the morning. For a larger project, I often begin my visualization some days ahead of my deadline.

Only start when almost at the deadline? We tell ourselves we work better and are more creative when pressured by a looming deadline. I was in denial. It only adds pressure, stress, guilt, and sleepless nights. Nothing brings one more satisfaction than delivering a quality outcome within the deadline. So often, I hear myself saying, ‘Well, if I had known how easy it was going to be, I would have started it long ago!’

Summary

These are just some thoughts, tips, and ideas that work for me. In this strange world of perfectionism and procrastination, addressing and not ignoring these characteristics can make life easier. The role perfectionism and procrastination play in our relationships, marriages, families, and raising children is another story. When a perfectionist is married to a perfectionist, there is a whole set of new guidelines. A subject perhaps we could cover another time.

About Jennifer de St. Georges

Jennifer de St. Georges delivers practical, proven, and logical solutions for today’s practice management frustrations and problems. Known for her wit, honesty, and bottom-line approach, Jenny has built a global following. Her strong communication skills, delivered with her unique sense of humor, ensure learning is both effective and fun! Attendees leave with a passion to implement needed change and enjoy the benefits. Jenny offers her programs from live on stage, to virtual and on demand.