Sisterhood, Everlasting?

by: erica alexander, georgia state university

Admittedly, I use the phrase more than other Sisters because of my various roles working on HQ Staff over the past four years. It’s interesting to me, however, because even though I have been talking about this “Everlasting Sisterhood” for years now, I have often had a hard time conceptualizing the idea of an Everlasting Sisterhood in my own life and in my experiences.

Let me be clear: I have always felt a sense of sisterhood, from the moment I joined until now. The sisterhood I experienced in my collegiate years was meaningful and essential to my overall college experience and personal development. I definitely felt a sense of camaraderie with Sisters and made close connections within my chapter and throughout the rest of Georgia. But here’s where the issue lies: what exactly does sisterhood even mean to me, especially when it’s “everlasting,” and how does it differ from a basic sense of closeness with friends, regardless of fraternal affiliation?

College “Me” thought of sisterhood as something you had with other college women due to distinct shared experiences and a joint dedication to similar goals and aspirations via organizational membership. Not going to lie, I felt a similar sense of camaraderie in other places of my life. I was the president of another organization on campus and also had a very thriving social life outside of my sorority activities. I thought I had forged close and trusted relations on a somewhat similar level outside of my sorority life (although I don’t feel like this was the actual case, in retrospect). Sisterhood felt like it should have been important, but I didn’t know if it was in actuality for my circumstances. Then came my graduation.

Y’all, being an adult post-college is overrated. Like seriously, it was a culture shock. No longer were people available at all hours of the day in the dorms, and no longer did I interact with people my age with similar interests on a daily basis. My friends became busier with their new jobs, and I myself was busy preparing to go to Korea to teach English. Finding a time to meet up with others felt like an onerous task that would ultimately always leave someone out of the mix due to packed schedules and conflicting priorities. Once I graduated, I think it truly helped me separate what sisterhood is and just a regular friendship.

When I finally moved to Daejeon, South Korea, I had joined HQ Staff as Social Media Manager and worked on my sorority tasks during my free time. Before the pandemic, I did communicate with other Sisters on staff and my team to talk to them about our tasks and the like. We were very friendly with each other, but I did not think too much about relationship building with my fellow staff members as I was still trying to figure out what my role was in HQ and my place in the general Alumnae community since I was abroad. As for my non-sorority connections, many of the relationships I formed in college from the other organizations or social situations were drastically different. The memories I shared with these people were amazing, but there really was not much holding us together as a unit now past college. It is not to say that I don’t have any interactions with them, as I often keep up with them with infrequent phone calls or on social media by sending them random memes. But that’s not the same as what we had in college.

As for my Chapter connections, at that time, I still kept up with my chapter Sisters (especially my Big, Little, and Line Sisters), so it was not like I was disconnected from them, I just thought that those relationships changed just like my non-sorority college relationships, and I was going to have to be okay with that. I was of the opinion that these relationships were meant to change and develop over time, but the change was going to most likely be an “I’ll see you next year at our Founders Day brunch” sort of situation where social contact only occurs for a special event. It’s interesting because I specifically joined the sorority for the “Everlasting Sisterhood” aspect, but I relegated the concept to a purely nominal one than a notion of true significance or importance. I think this lack of prioritization on lifelong sisterhood hindered my own ability to figure out what that actually looks like, and I became complacent about what I should expect from it.

Fast forward to me in the city of Daejeon, South Korea in early 2020 where I finally discovered what sisterhood could be like. During the initial parts of the pandemic, the country-wide lockdown kept me in my very small studio apartment for several months with very little human interaction outside of the Zoom meetings with my students and co-workers. Although it was a time when the Sorority was undergoing a variety of changes due to the unprecedented challenges because of the pandemic-stricken environment, it became a time of growth and reflection for me. I was constantly in learning mode so I could adapt to changes at work and with my position in HQ. Surprisingly, I was happier than I could ever expect to be in that situation. I was completely isolated but felt connected to Sisters despite time zone differences and thousands of miles of distance through a plethora of texts and multiple calls during the week trying to get things done to keep the Sorority intact. It was a distinctly stressful time, but we all consistently proved our dedication to this organization by working diligently to make sure Sorority operations ran smoothly (or as smoothly as possible with a workforce of all unpaid volunteers).

It was a time of grief, sadness, and loneliness due to what was happening in the world, but this period did help me focus on relationship building and figuring out what I value in my life. I greatly attribute this intentionality to the Sisters who were with me on the then Records Branch marketing team and the rest of the HQ Staff. I know I probably tired them out sometimes with my chit-chat during meetings, but those occasions (and everything in between) were some of my happiest times during the worst parts of the pandemic. From the mental health check-ins and to the Among Us game nights through Discord, we made sure that we survived and thrived together. Most of these Sisters I have never met in person, but they are still people that I talk to frequently. I can trust them with truly anything.

To be honest, I think my definition of sisterhood still stands true: sisterhood is something you share with others due to a distinct shared experience and a joint commitment to goals and aspirations as college women who are members of the same organization. However, this is not something that is temporary but a lifelong commitment that requires intentionality and effort long past our graduation days. Although we are no longer in college, this shared sense of connection endures and can pick right back up at any time. I have run into Sisters who I barely know in DC and talked to them about Sorority ongoings like we’ve known each other forever because we acknowledge each other as Sisters, and that’s our connection. This connection is like a string that each one of us is holding onto across the world, bonding us in a complex yet simple way through sisterhood. Sisterhood is effort. Sisterhood is inspiring. Sisterhood is dedication. Sisterhood is a commitment. And most importantly, it is everlasting. ∞