rap | Jocelyn Ang | Singapore
The first time I encountered a depressive episode, I isolated myself from everybody. I stayed away from school for a month and I moved to my aunt’s house because I couldn’t stand being with people I was close to (and also because my mother was suffering from a depressive episode at the same time). I guess this influenced my decision to portray an isolated figure in my works. It was slightly different when I was creating this series; I was still going to school, going out with my friends, I seemed fine in the day but when I was alone in my room at night, the negative thoughts just got really loud and drowned out everything else. It was a side I wanted to hide from everyone else, who always saw me as a cheerful person.
You said that this was a side that you “wanted to hide from everyone else”. Was there any kind of hesitation in keeping your face visible in one of the photos in your project?
like for me; it was always around and I constantly felt alone and trapped in my own emotions.
You mentioned that your mother was also suffering from a depressive episode at the same time you were experiencing your first. Does her mood tend to affect your own? Being the only child in the family, my parents have a high expectation of me. My mother first fell into depression when I was 1 2 and I did badly for an important examination. I guess that had a great impact on me and I was constantly pressured to do well at school after that. When I was intent on pursuing an education in art, my mother was (and still is) against it. Even up till today, we still quarrel from time to time about my desire to continue photography. I am very easily affected by people's moods, especially my parents’ because they are the most important people in my life. I am constantly torn between wanting to do what I want and wanting to give my parents a good life and it’s a struggle I’m still trying to come to terms with.
Incidentally, the photo with my face visible was the first one I shot for the series. It was taken without the idea of this project in mind. However, when I saw the photo, I was surprised by how aptly it Someone can be swayed by an idea but can also expressed my feelings. I guess it sort of “exposed” be swayed by a person. If you could influence me. someone with a similar overwhelming feeling,
In your photos you are never in the same place and always seem to be in the middle of doing something, such as taking a shower and walking down the street. Why did you choose to highlight these certain places and actions?
what would you hope your work says to them?
I hope that my work will be able to resonate with them and tell them that, hey, there are others out there that feel the way you do. So don’t give up, because you have the power to change things for the better, even if your mind tells you otherwise.
I didn’t want to restrict myself to a single location. I walked around with my camera, thinking up compositions as I went along. As for the choice of For more information about Jocelyn Ang visit, locations, I always chose somewhere mundane but www.angjocelyn.com empty, slightly metaphorical to how depression was
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