Divine Energy by John Skepp

164 CHAPTER 5 Showing the Passiveness of Men in several Parts of the Spirit’s Work upon their Hearts, both in and after Conversion. of those lusts, a new horrid vein and course of sin was revealed also to me, for I saw lay at the bottom of my heart in the rising and working of all my lusts; namely, that they kept my heart in a continual course of ungodliness; that is, that my heart was wholly obstructed from acting towards God any way, or from having any holy or good motions at all. God having proceeded thus far, I perceived, I was humbled under his mighty hand, as James speaks, with whom only and immediately I had to do, and not with my own bare single thoughts; but God continued orderly to possess my thoughts with a further progress, as to this subject; I being made sensible of God’s hand in it, and myself was merely passive; but still God continued his hand over me, and held me intent to consider and pierce into what should be the first causes of so much actual sinfulness; and he presented to me as in answer thereunto, for it was transacted as a conference by God with me, the original corruption of my nature, and inward evil constitution and depravation of all my faculties, the inclinations and disposedness of my heart unto all evil, and averseness from all spiritual good, and acceptableness unto God. Hence I was convinced that in this respect I was flesh, which was to my apprehension as if that had been the definition of a man, ‘that which is born of the flesh is flesh.’ And here, {says he,} let me stand a while astonished, as I did then; I can compare this sight and the workings of my heart arising from thence to be, as if I had in the heat of summer looked down into the filth of a dungeon, where, by a clear light and piercing eye, I discerned millions of living crawling things in the midst of that sink and liquid corruption. How much and deeply did I consider, that all the sins that ever were committed by the wickedest men that have been in the world, had proceeded from the corruption of their nature; or that the sins which any or all men did commit at any time, were all from the same root; and I by my nature, if God had left me and withdrawn from me, should have committed the same, as any temptation should have induced me into the like. But what much affected me was a sight