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THE FRESHMEN ISSUE
CHARLETON HESTON, MITCH MCCONNELL, AND A GUY ON A RAFT read The Review. Do you?
Songs of Old Dartmouth A History of Dartmouth Sandor Farkas
Editor-in-Chief Emeritus
The Dartmouth Review is proud to keep the music of Dartmouth alive, despite many attempts by the College administration to purge it from the public memory. Many of Dartmouth’s old songs contain references to the College’s mascot, the Dartmouth Indian, and have been deemed “culturally appropriative,” and therefore unacceptable for the modern student to sing. Others reference the days gone by when Dartmouth was an all-male institution. The College prefers that we pretend this was never the case. As a public service to our ‘shmen, The Review has reprinted a few old favorites, including “Men of Dartmouth,” now known as the “Alma Mater.” In 1988, the College changed the original to reflect coeducation. The second verse, which had been sung in wartime and at memorials, is rarely heard at present. Richard Hovey, autthor of the lyrics to “Men of Dartmouth,” was also the man behind many other Dartmouth favorites. The famous
“Hovey Murals,” painted by Walter Beach Humphrey and now hidden beneath FoCo, depict scenes from his work. Men of Dartmouth by Richard Hovey ’85 & Harry Wellman ‘07
Men of Dartmouth, give a rouse For the College on the hill For the Lone Pine above her And the loyal sons who love her Give a rouse, give a rouse, with a will For the sons of old Dartmouth The sturdy sons of Dartmouth Tho’ ‘round the girdled earth they roam Her spell on them remains They have the still North in their hearts The hill winds in their veins And the granite of New Hampshire In their muscles and their brains And the granite of New Hampshire In their muscles and their brains They were mighty men of old That she nurtured at her side Till like Vikings they went forth From the lone and silent North
And they strove and wrought and they died But the sons of old Dartmouth The laurelled sons of Dartmouth The Mother keeps them in her heart And guides their altar flame The still North remembers them The hill winds know their name And the granite of New Hampshire Keeps the record of their fame And the granite of New Hampshire Keeps the record of their fame
Men of Dartmouth, set a watch Lest the old traditions fail Stand as brother stands by brother Dare a deed for the old Mother Greet the world, from the hills, with a hail For the sons of Old Dartmouth The loyal sons of Dartmouth Around the world they keep for her Their old chivalric faith They have the still North in their souls The hill winds in their breath And the granite of New Hampshire Is made part of them till death And the granite of New Hampshire Is made part of them till death
> FEATURES PAGE 8
The Dartmouth Review among others, in a fundaStaff Emeritus Dartmouth represents the ninth-oldest of America’s Colonial Colleges. Established in 1769, she was the last to receive her charter from England’s Crown. Dartmouth’s founding has since become a matter of legend, at the center of which lies one man’s unlikely vision, for a small school among New England’s wilderness. In the ensuing decades, Eleazar Wheelock, Samson Occom, and Daniel Webster, Dartmouth’s favorite son, have all emerged as larger-than-life figures. Learning about their journeys is as integral a part to the Dartmouth experience as DOC Trips, Winter Carnival, or the Green itself. We present their stories here,
mental overview of our College’s celebrated history. Eleazar Wheelock Samson Occom
and
Wheelock’s sense of divine mission, which guided him to found Dartmouth, also drove his life’s many other pursuits. Born in Windham, Connecticut in 1711, Wheelock graduated from Yale in 1733, and was subsequently ordained as a preacher. Soon thereafter, he became seized by the Great Awakening, a religious fever spreading throughout New England. The Awakening particularly influenced Wheelock’s sermons, which regularly reduced audiences to tears.
> FEATURES PAGE 11
REBELLION IN THE MODERN AGE
BEST AND WORST PROFESSORS
EDUCATION AT DARTMOUTH
Editor-in-chief B. Webb Harrington explores the nature of rebellion and Conservatism in the modern era.
Your guide to Dartmouth’s best and worst scholars choose your classes wisely!
Review founder Jeff Hart helps you make the best of your Dartmouth career.
> EDITORIAL PAGE 3
> FEATURES PAGE 7
> FEATURES PAGE 11
2 Monday – September 24, 2018
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For thirty-five years, The Dartmouth Review has been the College’s only independent newspaper and the only student opinion journal that matters. It is the oldest and most renowned campus commentary publication in the nation and spawned a national movement at the likes of Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, and countless others. Our staff members and alumni have won many awards, including the Pulitzer Prize, and have been published in the Boston Globe, New York Times, National Review, American Spectator, Wall Street Journal, Weekly Standard, Village Voice, New Criterion, and many others. The Review aims to provide a voice for any student who enjoys challenging brittle and orthodox thinking. We stand for free speech, student rights, and the liberating arts. Whatever your political leanings, we invite you to come steep yourself in campus culture and politics, Dartmouth lore, keen witticisms, and the fun that comes with writing for an audience of thousands. We’re looking for writers, photographers, cartoonists, aspiring business managers, graphic designers, web maestros, and anyone else who wants to learn from Dartmouth’s unofficial school of journalism.
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Songs of Old Dartmouth......................................................Page 1 Dartmouth’s Storied History...............................................Page 1 A Modern Rebellion..............................................................Page 3 Traditions Not Taught at Orientation...............................Page 6 Best and Worst Professors...................................................Page 9 Finding an Education at Dartmouth...............................Page 11 In Memoriam: John McCain III.......................................Page 12 The Truth About the Review.............................................Page 13 The Dartmouth Glossary...................................................Page 14
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WINSTON CHURCHILL READS THE REVIEW
The Dartmouth Review
Monday – September 24, 2018
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MASTHEAD & EDITORIAL EST. 1980 EDITORIAL BOARD Editor-in-Chief
B. Webb Harrington
Executive Editors Joshua L. Kauderer Daniel M. Bring
Managing Editors Rachel T. Gambee Alexander Rauda
Tech Editor Erik R. Jones
Associate Editors Eashwar N. Sivarajan Jacob H. Swenberg
Senior Correspondents William G. Jelsma Marcus J. Thompson
BUSINESS STAFF President
Jason B. Ceto Noah J. Sofio
Vice President
Jacob G. Philhower
ADVISORY Founders
Greg Fossedal, Gordon Haff, Benjamin Hart, Keeney Jones
Legal Counsel
Mean-Spirited, Cruel, and Ugly
Board of Trustees
Martin Anderson, Patrick Buchanan, Theodore Cooperstein, Dinesh D’Souza, Michael Ellis, Robert Flanigan, John Fund, Kevin Robbins, Gordon Haff, Jeffrey Hart, Laura Ingraham, Mildred Fay Jefferson, William Lind, Steven Menashi, James Panero, Hugo Restall, Roland Reynolds, William Rusher, Weston Sager, Emily Esfahani-Smith, R. Emmett Tyrrell, Sidney Zion
NOTES Special thanks to William F. Buckley, Jr. “And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!” The Editors of The Dartmouth Review welcome correspondence from readers concerning any subject, but prefer to publish letters that comment directly on material published previously in The Review. We reserve the right to edit all letters for clarity and length. Please submit letters to the editor by mail or email: editor@dartreview.com Or by mail at:
The Dartmouth Review P.O. Box 343 Hanover, NH 03755 (603) 643-4370
Please direct all complaints to: editor@thedartmouth.com
“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win great triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to takerank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.” —Theodore Roosevelt
EDITORIAL
A Modern Rebellion I recently recalled to a few friends determined which of us went to cola political discussion with a liber- lege and where. The vast number of al friend of mine in high school. He social ills we have seen and endured tried to convince me that I should are from their failed policies. It’s intry to rebel against the “patriarchy,” teresting and informative that Genermodern vernacular for what in the ation Z seems to be the single most 70s would have been called the “man.” conservative generation to grow up After all, he argued, how could I be since World War II. so conformist as to be conservative? I’m sorry to say to the incoming I responded with a series of simple Class of 2022 that Dartmouth is but questions: an extension of this system. Our pro“Our US Representative is fessors are overwhelmCarol Shea-Poringly liberal, all the ter. Whom do you more so outside of think she agrees with the departments tied more? You, or me?” to reality or the past: “Me.” Economics, STEM, “How about our Classics, and Histodemocratic goverry. Our administranor?” tors are leeches. They Silence. strain the budget “How about her when ineffective and husband who is our rightfully frighten Head of School?” every student when “How about Presieffective. In particudent Obama?” lar, the OPAL Office “How about your has a nasty habit of parents?” preaching nonsense B. Webb Harrington “So what you’re and engaging in consaying is that you agree with your stant political discrimination against parents, head of school, governor, and conservative students. president, but you’re still a rebel?” On the other hand, there are some While the story is a good piece of very good reasons for the Class of comedy for whenever I am gathering 2022 to be excited. The Dartmouth with fellow conservatives, it also ex- Review was founded in 1980, just at plains something important. How is it the end of a decade known for the that someone with such a strong aver- Vietnam War, Watergate, and Jimmy sion to tyrannical authority and with Carter’s presidency. In 1980, a small a pronounced rebellious streak can be group of prescient student journalists a conservative? The answer is simple: worked to preserve one small piece To be a rebel today means to be a con- of our small College on a hill in the servative. form of the Review, and President Generation Z, of which I am a proud Reagan led a conservative restoration member, grew up with this reality. across America. Even today, when Our parents raised us on a diet of ev- Dartmouth is in a historically weak eryone getting trophies even while we position, thousands of alumni fight saw them struggle to get a job after for a stronger College. Alumnus Joe the Great Recession. A decade later, Asch, for instance, heads the highly we still watch our parents die from informative Dartblog that works day opioids prescribed for chronic pain and night to keep the Hanlon adminthat feels deeper than any physical istration honest. The much-abused injury. We suffered preachy sermons Greek system is still going strong. from teachers and school adminis- ΣAE demonstrates that if the admintrators about tolerance, feelings, and istration really does follow through trigger warnings while going through with its seeming goal of replacing post-9/11 airport security and watch- the Greeks with the laughable “housing politicians put metal detectors up ing system,” the Greeks are capable around schools. We were indoctri- of surviving in direct opposition to nated in the evils of sexual morality the College. A large number of our while hook-up culture and a lack of professors are still incredible and foresponsibility drove our classmates cused on both teaching and researchto hopelessness and depression. More ing world-class knowledge. Despite recently, we have gotten to hear about the constant difficulty in getting dethe wonders of multiculturalism, even sired classes in useful majors such as as the female members of our gener- economics and computer science and ation are sexually harassed and as- the growth of enormous lecture classsaulted every day across the pond. es as the solution to this, small, inYou see, we, Generation Z, have timate classes focused on educational grown up in an environment utterly literature can still be found. dominated by leftism. Leftist teachThe Dartmouth Review would like ers and administrators dominated to welcome the Class of 2022 to camour schools; progressive Hollywood pus and hope that they will be able to produced our movies and TV shows; enjoy these still-wonderful aspects of liberal college admissions officers Dartmouth in their time here.
4 Monday – September 24, 2018
The Dartmouth Review
WEEK IN REVIEW FMR. SENATOR KELLY AYOTTE TALKS ON FEDERALISM On Monday, September 17th, former U.S. Senator, Kelly Ayotte, of New Hampshire spoke at the Rockefeller Center to a mixed audience of Dartmouth students, faculty, and the general public. Her prepared remarks, entitled “ Can Federalism – The Genius of the Constitution – Restore Public Confidence in Congress and U.S. Government Institutions?”, addressed the issue of expanding federal authority and expressed her view that the federal system laid out in the constitution is the key to governmental efficiency and popular political satisfaction. In conversation with Government professor Herschel Nachlis following her prepared remarks, Senator Ayotte addressed topics ranging from the ongoing Supreme Court nomination process of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the recent voter residency law enacted in New Hampshire. She discussed her firm personal conviction to help the veterans’ community in New Hampshire and her family’s military ties through her husband’s service in the Iraq War. Senator Ayotte welcomed questions from the audience concerning such issues as the rise of Trumpism in the GOP to the disadvantages of a unitary political system. She discussed her well-known friendship with the recently-deceased Senator John McCain and what he embodied in American politics. Following her presentation, she spoke personally to students and joined a group of students for pizza and political discussion. Senator Ayotte was named the 2018 Perkins Bass Distinguished Visitor at the Nelson A. Rockefeller Center for Public Policy this past January. According to the College, this role recognizes “New Hampshire citizens who have made outstanding contributions in government” and invites them “to share their experiences with the Dartmouth community.” The visitorship is named for U.S. Congressman Perkins Bass ’34, who represented New Hampshire for eight years from 1955 to 1963. Senator Ayotte, a member of the Republican Party, was the junior U.S. Senator from New Hampshire from 2011 to 2017. She had previously served as New Hampshire’s first and only female Attorney General from 2004 to 2009, after being appointed by Republican Governor Craig Benson and reappointed twice by Democratic Governor John Lynch. In 2016, she was defeated in her bid for re-elec-
tion to the Senate by Democratic Governor of New Hampshire Maggie Hassan in an exceedingly close race decided by a margin of around one-thousand votes. In her time out of the Senate, Senator Ayotte has been involved with the academia at Harvard’s Institute of Politics and here at Dartmouth. Notably, she was chosen by the Trump Administration as the “Sherpa” to then-Judge Neil Gorsuch to guide him through the confirmation process in early 2017. Most recently, she was chosen for a Bible reading at the funeral of Senator McCain. We at The Review are genuinely grateful for Senator Ayotte’s visit to campus and hope that the College continues to host such distinguished public servants
son evaluated college upperclassmen for the draft, crafted drills for free agent tryouts, and worked closely with film presentation. Although her new occupation at Dartmouth is just an entry-level position, Brownson will play an essential role for the team in organizing drills, providing feedback, and offering a new outlook on offensive plays. “She brings a different perspective,” says Coach Teevens, “but she is a coach who happens to be a female as opposed to a woman who is trying to coach. That distinction became very apparent to my players and coaches. We’ve hired a coach who will better our football program.”
DARTMOUTH HIRES FIRST FEMALE DIVISION-I COACH
ADMINISTRATION RELEASES ANNUAL INVESTMENT PORTFOLIO
On September 11th, Head Coach of Dartmouth Football Buddy Teevens ’79 announced the hiring of Callie Brownson as the team’s new offensive quality control coach, making her the first woman ever to hold a full-time coaching position in the history of Division I Football. The Alexandria, Virginia native first came in contact with Teevens at the Manning Passing Academy, where she caught his attention while hosting a prestigious women’s clinic. Brownson and her colleague Chenell “Soho” Tillman-Brooks were soon invited to intern for Dartmouth Football for two weeks during the preseason, where they would closely follow team activities and operations. Only a few days later, players began inquiring if Brownson could be hired as a full-time coach, and evidently, Coach Teevens came to agree. “The preseason was kind of like a tryout,” he comments, “and she excelled — on and off the field — every day.” Before starting at Dartmouth, Brownson played for the D.C. Divas in the Women’s Football Alliance from 2010-17. A four-time all-American and a five-time team captain, she led the Divas to win two national titles and brought home another two gold medals with Team USA Women’s Football. During this time, she also earned a bachelor’s degree in sports management from George Mason University and later served as an assistant coach briefly at Mount Vernon High School before becoming a scouting intern with the New York Jets over the summer. During her time there, Brown-
Most college funds end their fiscal year in June and report results in the fall. This year, Dartmouth was the first Ivy League school to release investment results for 2018. Dartmouth College’s endowment reported its second consecutive year of double-digit gains as its investment portfolio returned 12.2% for the fiscal year ending June 30, to raise its total asset value to an alltime high of $5.5 billion. The record high endowment is the result of Phil Hanlon’s “Call To Lead” initiative. The fundraising campaign is going to run through 2022 in order to reach a $3 billion goal, more than half of which has already been raised. The campaign has the following goals: ensuring need-blind admissions for all students, including international students, and eliminating the need for loans in the College’s financial aid packages; building new residence halls to provide 350 beds; investing in research; and the expansion of the presence of graduate institutions, such as Thayer School of Engineering and the Frank J. Guarini school of Graduate and Advanced studies. The endowment, which provides financial support to the entire institution, earned $591 million in net investment gains, along with gifts and other net transfers adding another $183 million. The spending distribution from the endowment was $237 million, which is approximately a fourth of operating revenues for the fiscal year. “Dartmouth’s portfolio gains were boosted by robust US equity markets combined with strong venture capital and private equity returns,” Alice Ruth, Dartmouth’s CIO, said in a release. “Dartmouth’s endowment is fortunate to partner with a roster of top-tier investment
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brian l. drisdelle daniel m. bring managers who add tremendous value.” This was Ruth’s first full year as CIO, after being hired as the head of the investment team in March 2017. In fiscal year 2017, the endowment generated an investment return of 14.6%, bringing its asset value to a then-record $4.96 billion. It took in $630 million in net investment gains, along with $77 million in gifts and other net transfers last year. However, the statement didn’t name specific investments, firms or asset allocation breakdowns. Dartmouth has reached an annual gain of 10.6 percent over five years, 7.6 percent over 10 years and 9.8 percent over 20 years. “The continued success of the endowment’s investment strategy is evidenced by exceptional long-term results,” says Trustee Rick Kimball ‘78, chair of the board’s investment committee. The Dartmouth fund has surpassed the median annual return of 7.4 percent, gross of fees, for U.S. endowments in the period, according to data compiled by the Wilshire Trust Universe Comparison Service. By the end of the 2017 fiscal year, the endowment’s assets were allocated in the following way: 37.8% in global equities, 24.9% in hedge funds, 18.4% in venture capital and private equity, 7.5% in fixed income and cash, 7.1% in natural resources, and 4.3% in real estate. Despite having the second-smallest endowment in the Ivy League after Brown University, Dartmouth has consistently had one of the top-performing investment portfolios among the elite universities in the past several years. An investment research firm Markov Processes International reported that Dartmouth has been among the top-four performing Ivy League endowments five out of the previous six years.
THE COLLEGE STANDS BEHIND AFFIRMATIVE ACTION In August 2018, the Justice Department announced its support of a lawsuit alleging racial discrimination at Harvard University. The plaintiffs in the lawsuit, Students for Fair Admissions (SFFA), seek a public declaration that the use of race in college admissions violates the 1964 Civil Rights Act. The students behind the lawsuit claim that Harvard’s affirmative action policies illegally discriminate against Asian-American applicants. It is abundantly clear, however, that The College stands with the rest of the Ivy League against the federal Government of these United States. The College has unsurprisingly signed an amicus brief that argues that the consideration of race allows schools to judge how each “individual student can contribute to the diversity of the student body”. SFFA launched the federal lawsuit against Harvard in 2014, alleging that Harvard has an unconstitutional racial quota that caps the number of Asian students it can admit. If this is true, then Harvard does violate U.S. law and perhaps even the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution. But Dartmouth believes that the consideration of race is a good thing. Therefore, if Harvard loses its case and it is found that its admissions process violates the Civil Rights Act, The College would have publicly opposed one of the most ambitious pieces of civil rights legislation in American history. One can only speculate as to the result of the lawsuit, and of Dartmouth’s place in history should it not go the way President Hanlon wants.
will not “post or transmit content that is harmful, offensive, obscene, abusive, invasive of privacy, defamatory, hateful or otherwise discriminatory, false and misleading…” The ambiguity of the policy would have allowed the administration to punish essentially anyone they did not like. All criticism of the administration could have been deemed ‘misleading,” any disapproval of student organizations termed hateful, and perhaps worst of all, reporting sexual assaults could easily be construed as an invasion of the perpetrator’s privacy. But now, we are told, this policy has been modernized and improved.
eashwar n. sivarajan ana japaridze
Mitchel Davis, Dartmouth’s VP and chief information officer, says he agrees with FIRE and that the language in question will be changed. He explained that the new policy would be broader and more open to contextual interpretation. Unfortunately, this is not particularly reassuring to some students since its intent is to keep the wording intentionally equivocal, thus extending to President Hanlon’s administration indefinite discretion. Only time will tell if this small college will commit itself to the values it once held dear.
CARTOON
“The Baker Tower renovation reinforces unhealthy standards of phallic symbol beauty.”
CARTOON
DARTMOUTH UPDATES IT POLICY Last week, Dartmouth decided to update its computer-use policy after increasing pressure from First Amendment watchdogs. The Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE) gave The College a ‘red light’ rating, indicating that its policies were hostile to the free expression of ideas. FIRE’s ire was directed at the parts of The College’s policies regarding the use of its computer services. To use its information and technology services, students must agree that they
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“Am I the only one left wondering just what was wrong with the old Hood Museum anyway?”
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The Dartmouth Review
FEATURES
Traditions Not Taught at Orientation Samuel W. Lawhon Contributor
Editor’s Note: The following are obscure aspects of Dartmouth history and tradition that have an observable impact on the College in the present day. It is in no way a comprehensive list. Rather, the select few following episodes are designed to entice students to learn more about their institution’s extensive history. The Lone Pine The Lone Pine is an enduring symbol of the College. The first report concerning the old tree was an improbable legend. In 1833, undergraduate Jacob Gale recounted a story about three Native Americans singing a farewell song around an ancient pine. However, later investigations showed that three Indians never graduated at the same time in the early history of the College. Jas. F. Joy, (18)’33, later reminisced that there were stories circulating in his day about a graduating class singing ‘Auld Lang Syne’ around the tree before leaving the College. These occurrences likely evolved into the legend. Ten years later, the Pine was
in the early eighteenth century, though, the tree was old. Records indicate it likely dated back to 1783 in origin. In 1887, the Old Pine was struck by lightning, and in 1892, its main branch was broken in the wind. Finally, in 1895, the tree was cut down. Its stump remains there to this day. In 1967, the tradition was revived in a different form. The Class of 1927 planted the Dartmouth Pine near the entrance to the BEMA. They transferred stewardship to the Class of 1967, who later passed care of the tree to the Class of 2007. Dartmouth Canes Canes have a long history at Dartmouth. In the eighteenth century, canes were a status symbol among students. Only sophomores and upperclassmen were allowed to carry them. But freshmen would frequently try to assert themselves by flaunting their canes. In response, older students would wrestle them and seize their canes in a tradition that came to be known as cane-rush. Cane-rush reached its greatest proportions in 1883. That year, freshmen took off their
“Some of us would occasionally, when out for recreation, sing a hymn which tradition told us the three Indians composed and sang.” widely known and respected. An alumnus of the class of 1840 said “Some of us would occasionally, when out for recreation, sing a hymn which tradition told us the three Indians composed and sang.” A member of the class of 1845 wrote “We, like other classes, had many meetings around the ‘Old Pine’ for gossiping, story-telling and music and some other exercises. One of these ‘other exercises’ was a tarring and feathering of a man charged with crime.” After General Winfield Scott’s nomination, the class of 1852 celebrated with a cannon salute. They were stopped by Professor Hubbard, who complained that his house had been struck by a stone the students fired. A few years later, the tradition developed that graduating classes would celebrate under the tree. From 1854 to 1895, with few exceptions, students would celebrate by singing, giving speeches, smoking a peace pipe, and laying mementos around the Old Pine. Even Mr. Lawhon is a senior at the College and contributor to The Dartmouth Review.
shirts and covered themselves in olive oil for a pitched battle with the sophomores. The freshmen stationed themselves on the Green in a protective formation around their prize: a hickory cane. The sophomores rushed from their base in Reed Hall, which began a two-hour battle. A student at the time wrote that freshmen who had been knocked unconscious were dragged from the fray by juniors and revived with buckets of cold water. Undeterred, many ran back in. The class of 1887 eventually lost when the sophomores dragged the prized cane back to Reed Hall. Over time, the brutal tradition fell out of favor and cane-rush died out. As one cane-related tradition died out, however, another began. When the class of 1887 graduated, they bought or made canes to commemorate the occasion and encouraged their friends to carve their names into them. In 1899, Charles Dudley crafted the first Indian head cane, which became the predominant senior cane until 1974, when the Indian head symbol was banned.
Secret society canes are the last vestige of Dartmouth’s long history of cane-related traditions. Every year, approximately twenty percent of graduating seniors carry canes to represent the secret societies with which they are affiliated. The Ledyard Bridge John Ledyard came to Dartmouth in 1772. Ledyard loved theater and was a good student, but he was restless; he found the pace of college life too slow. Seeking adventure, Ledyard cut down a tall tree on the banks of the Connecticut River and made it into a log canoe. With his newly made vessel, Ledyard set out to explore the world with only four items: a huge bearskin, a poem by Ovid, the New Testament in Greek, and some bread. One hundred and fifty miles downstream in Hartford, Ledyard called on a relative, who was surprised to find his nephew not quietly studying to become a missionary. He studied theology in Hartford for a time, before his boredom overcame him again. He became a common sailor on many different voyages; he travelled to Gibraltar and London. After a few years, Ledyard entered the British naval service and sailed under Captain James Cook. However, he always remained loyal to his native land and refused to fight against the U.S., and after many years, Ledyard returned home. John Ledyard was never any good at staying in one place, and just a few months later he was plotting his next adventure: a trading journey to the northern Pacific. The venture failed to attract sufficient funding. But he succeeded
in attracting the attention of Robert Morris, a prominent Philadelphia merchant, who gave Ledyard money and letters of introduction. Eventually, the explorer ended up in Paris, where he met Thomas Jefferson, then ambassador to France. For his next feat, John Ledyard decided to journey around the world on foot. He arrived in St. Petersburg just seven weeks later. His journey was cut short while traveling across Siberia, on suspicion that Ledyard was an American spy. When he returned to London, Ledyard found employment on a journey to explore Africa, but died of an illness in Cairo soon after, in 1788. The Ledyard Bridge was first built in 1859, near where the explorer cut down the tree to start his first adventure. One Dartmouth tradition related
would remove to let their cattle graze on the field. The students resented the practice, however, because the cattle made their field a far worse playing area. The College informed the townspeople the practice must stop. The next time cattle were caught grazing in the field, infuriated students drove them into the basement of Dartmouth Hall and sealed the entrance with stones and dirt. The townspeople formed a mob and advanced on the College to demand their cattle returned. The ensuing standoff was perhaps most damaging to the cows, who were trapped in confined quarters on a hot September day; one report describes them as “wet with perspiration and crowding as if they had been in a mill-pond.” Eventually, the students let the cattle go. In order to deter future
“The freshmen stationed themselves on the Green in a protective formation around their prize: a hickory cane. The sophomores rushed from their base in Reed Hall, which began a two-hour battle.” to the bridge is the so-called Ledyard Challenge, where students attempt to swim across the Connecticut River naked and streak across the bridge as they return to their clothing. In some ways, the tradition is an appropriate one for John Ledyard, who consistently flouted convention through bold adventures. The Senior Fence In the early nineteenth century, the Green was primarily used as a football field for students. In those days it was enclosed by a set of flimsy railings, which the townspeople
grazing episodes, the campus set up a sturdier fence, which bordered the Green until it was torn down in 1893. In response, the class of 1897 sponsored a Senior Fence, which runs to this day along parts of the southern and western borders. Only Seniors were allowed to sit on the fence; when younger students tested this policy, they were soaked with water from a nearby trough. These privileges began to erode during World War II, and by 1960, they had disappeared entirely. Today, all students are free to sit on the fence, without fear of water-based reprisal.
VLADIMIR PUTIN READS THE REVIEW. SO SHOULD YOU.
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Monday – September 24, 2018
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FEATURES
Best and Worst Professors The Dartmouth Review Editorial Board
G.K. Chesterton once said, “He is a very shallow critic who cannot see an eternal rebel in the heart of a conservative.” Perhaps that is why The Review persists in our tradition of listing Dartmouth’s best and worst professors despite the objects of numerous faculty members. We prefer to believe that this feature exists because we, as students who invest heavily in a Dartmouth education, hold our faculty to an elevated standard. We designate faculty members as “Best professors” not because they are easy, but because they are hard. We look for those who have a sincere desire to inculcate in their students a thirst for knowledge and the means to pursue it. While original and important research influences our selection, we place the most importance on teaching. Our “Worst Professors” are far more difficult to choose. We strive to take every ameliorating factor into consideration before we apply this label to a member of the faculty. Our worst professors generally fail to inspire their students, do not tolerate dissenting opinions, teach “layups,” or conduct research of a caliber not fitting for a Dartmouth professor. Our best professors are more than professors: they are legends. Meir Kohn—Economics
Something of a legend in the Dartmouth Econ Department (a commonly traded tale—of questionable veracity—notes that an “A” in Kohn’s class translates into an instant job offer on Wall Street), Kohn is the maestro of Economics 26, a.k.a. “Money for Dummies.” He is one of the most feared professors at Dartmouth, and his classes, conducted in an intense Socratic question-and-answer format, force students to analyze economic questions at a level above simply parroting back textbook information. Ask him sometime about his experiences on an Israeli kibbutz. Paul Christesen—Classics
And his lectures provide compelling evidence for the importance of classics; he has a firm grasp on the value of understanding Western civilization’s development. Christesen is a wise choice for beginning or continuing any liberal arts education. Listening to his lectures, one gets the impression that Christesen has tailored his lessons for challenging and interesting the specifically undergraduate mind. (We mean that in a good way.) David Lagomarsino—History
Russell ment
Don Lagomarsino has been on The Review’s list of best professors either since he began teaching at Dartmouth or since The Review was founded in 1980. No one can remember which came first. His specialties include the history of Spain’s Golden Age, a flagrant disregard for political correctness, and a notorious wit. Only by a miraculous shift in the winds has he avoided President Hanlon’s Inquisition. It may not be possible to graduate without having taken a course with Lagomarsino. Barbara Will—English
Muirhead—Govern-
Professor Muirhead, a former Rhodes Scholar, is one of those rare teachers of political philosophy who can argue with equal passion for the merits of Locke, Rousseau, Mill, and Marx. He is fair-minded and highly skilled at structuring the West’s big ideas in ways that are relatable to anybody. Each of his lectures will leave you with a whole new take on broad, fundamental concepts. It’s not for nothing that, as a young up-and-comer at Harvard, Muirhead won a prize for the best teaching on campus. No matter what your major or interests are, you won’t go wrong with his classes. Pamela Crossley—History
nese terms and drily humorous asides, makes the whole thing worth it. Erich Osterberg—Earth Sciences
Professor Osterberg is a relative newcomer to Dartmouth, but many already consider him to be one of its best professors. A fantastic lecturer with an impressive ability to link the sociopolitical with the scientific, he teaches the ever-popular EARS 2 each winter. If you need a SCI distribution credit, Professor Osterberg is not to be missed. Richard Wright—Geography
A leader in one of Dartmouth’s fastest growing departments, Wright is known for his ability to facilitate challenging discussion and offer dazzling lectures. A British native, he is an expert on immigration, migration and mixed-racial geographies. Rumor has it that Wright brings gelato to one of his lectures in his Economic Geography course to structure a class discussion. Melanie Benson-Taylor—Native American Studies
Professor Will provides a savvy, critical analysis of postmodern literature without getting bogged down in the jargon of literary theory. Her teaching style is refreshingly straightforward, and she has the rare talent of making dull-seeming topics interesting. Marlene Heck—Art History
One of the most popular in the department and a Dartmouth alumnus to boot, Professor Christesen is also the most popular advisor to Classics majors.
History Department stand out for their ability to contextualize art, architecture, history and culture in their time, weaving each together to give a complete picture. Her class on American architecture (Building America) is a must-take, as is her Writing 5 course on the Founding Fathers. Professor Heck’s passions for America’s origins, Thomas Jefferson, and colonial architecture are infectious. Professor Heck and her art history classes will change the way you look at the world.
Professor Heck is one of Dartmouth’s most beloved professors. Her classes in the Art
The department’s resident expert on China, the incredibly knowledgeable Professor Crossley is also an authority on methods in global history, a fluent speaker of East Asian languages (including Manchu!), and a developer of educational software. She is famously strict with her classes—students must reserve comments and questions for the end of the period rather than interrupting lectures; she guards her coveted “A” grades closely; and relentlessly quizzes students on their knowledge of the reading during discussions – but those willing to work hard find that watching Professor Crossley lecture without notes, all-the-while with flawless Chi-
Professor Benson-Taylor is one of the most talented professors Dartmouth has to offer. She is open to any idea or interpretation of the books discussed in her classes and works tirelessly with students to help them understand the material and create the best papers possible. She is constantly available to her students and is a brilliant scholar in her own right. Any student of hers will feel like her top priority. Furthermore, her in-class lectures suggest unique and
eye-opening interpretations of both literature and history. Faith Beasley—French
Professor Beasley specializes in seventeenth century France, and teaches courses focusing on salons, the Enlightenment, and the intersection of literature and history. She teaches everything from introductory courses to senior seminars and is always known to devote personal attention to each student, both during discussions and while editing papers. She almost always invites students to her home for a meal and to meet her family. No student interested in French should miss a class with Beasley. Douglas Irwin—Economics
After the anti-WTO protests in Seattle, Irwin took to the pages of the Wall Street Journal to defend WTO trade policies and criticize then-President Bill Clinton for “caving in to pressure from labor interests.” Irwin is an undeniable expert in free trade, having quite literally written the book that is used for trade economics courses at Dartmouth. Not only is he blessed with technical expertise, but he is also an engaging and passionate teacher. Andrew Samwick—Economics
Professor Samwick’s litany of accomplishments is too long to list here, so we will recount just a few key highlights. He was Chief Economist of President George W. Bush’s Council of Economic Advisers from 2003 to 2004. He was named the New Hampshire Professor of the Year in 2009. He has run Rocky for over a decade. Samwick embodies the archetypal scholar-teacher, making plenty of time available for students despite his impressive research and significant administrative responsibilities. He has a quirky sense of humor and is easy to talk to, providing advice and mentorship for all who seek it.
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They Were the Best of Professors... > CONTINUED FROM PAGE 7
Nina Pavcnik—Economics
Professor Pavcnik is an incredibly knowledgeable and accomplished economics researcher, yet she is also an extremely passionate and effective instructor. She deeply cares for her students and is able to guide them to reach their potential in a variety of settings, both for lecture and seminar courses. Her courses are both educationally enriching and personally rewarding, as students are challenged to use economic principles in real-world applications. She also gets bonus points for being on the committee that denied Aimee Bahng tenure. William Fischel—Economics
Professor Fischel is an urban economist and one of the leading scholars on the economics of land use regulation (i.e. zoning). He is the prolific author of five books, including the highly influential Homevoter Hypothesis, which submits that local governments should be viewed as municipal corporations in which homeowners are the shareholders. Another one of his books, Regulatory Takings, was recently cited in Justice Kagan’s dissenting opinion in Koontz v. St. Johns. We recommend his course on zoning, Economics 38, as a hidden gem of the economics department. Furthermore, Fischel has done significant work on the history and evolution of the American public school system and advances rather peculiar arguments against charter schools. Udi Greenberg—History
Professor Greenberg is one of the history department’s rising
stars and a perennial favorite of majors and non-majors alike. Although his area of specialty is late nineteenth and early twentieth century German history, his courses on the Second World War, Nazism, and the European intellectual tradition are not to be missed. A demanding teacher who is wont to assign long blocks of reading for each class, he holds his students to a high standard, but with good reason: it is impossible come away from a term with Professor Greenberg without an intimate understanding of the material presented. For this reason, more than one Reviewer has referred to his courses as “life changing.” Julie Kalish—Writing As a lecturer in the Writing and Rhetoric Institute, Professor Kalish consistently ranks among undergraduates’ favorite teachers. A member of the Class of 1991 and an expert on constitutional law and the first amendment, she brings an unparalleled level of expertise to each lecture and inspires some of the best debates on campus with her question and answer-style. Her class on the Supreme Court in American Society is considered by many to be the best Writing 5 course available, but prospective students beware: it fills up quickly. If you can’t get off the waiting list, consider taking her class on writing and speaking in public policy come spring. Robert Ditchfield—Chemistry
An expert in theoretical chemistry who did his post-doc with Nobel laureate J.A. Pople, Ditchfield is one of the chemistry department’s most senior and respected scholars. He knows every student’s name by the first day of class, holds frequent and helpful office hours, and explains challenging concepts in quantum chemistry with great thoroughness and clarity. Anyone interested in Chemistry 6 or 76 should choose to take it with this jovial British professor. Feel free to ask him about British tea. Alan Li—Chinese Professor Li is widely praised for the vast amount of knowledge he brings to his classes. He evinces an incredible grasp of the logistics of English and its interactions with Mandarin in his classes, which range from beginner to advanced Chinese. While the Chinese track is notorious for hitting students with a torrent
of information to memorize, Li finds ways of making it manageable. Michael Herron—Government Professor Herron teaches Government 10, a popular introductory statistics class. Tall and lanky, Michael quickly won over the classroom on the first day with his warm, if slightly gawky, demeanor. He keeps students engaged with a Socratic-style teaching method that uses in-class Q and A to drive lectures. Herron’s passion for his work—as it pertains to both the educational and statistical realms—makes attending his lectures an eagerly awaited treat rather than a chore.
of James Bond in the Classics Department. Every morning when he strides into class, Bradley sets his pocket watch down on the desk and then proceeds to lecture for an electrifying hour—or sometimes, if the students are lucky, two. Besides, as a true patriot, he makes sure that veterans do well in his class and helps them transition to life at an elite college.
Susannah Heschel—Jewish Studies
Edward Miller—History
Her father, Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, has been called the greatest Jewish thinker of the twentieth century for his theological innovation and work on the Civil Rights Movement. Professor Heschel will tell you about growing up in a home where Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. was a regular guest, but she will not readily tell you about her own work on topics ranging from Jewish feminism to Jewish-Muslim relations, which other scholars often cite as inceptive and authoritative. No one invests as much energy and care into making Dartmouth an intellectual hub. Like her father, she will be known as a contradiction in terms: an orthodox innovator and an intellectual activist.
Gordon Gribble—Chemistry
Gordon Gribble is the most senior faculty member in the entire College, and his experience shows. Having authored close to 400 papers and taught organic chemistry for nearly 50 years, he is incredibly entertaining and trollish in class, expertly covering not only the curriculum but also “special topics” such as chemical warfare and insect chemical defenses. He once had secret-level security clearance and consulted for the Pentagon on chemical weapons. Gribble is a modern Renaissance man, and one faculty member described him as “a walking encyclopedia.” Indeed, he knows everything there is to know about chess, winemaking, World War II, and the Civil War in addition to organic chemistry. He has also reportedly claimed that he will only stop teaching when he drops dead, so we hope that he will be here for some time to come. Try not to be intimidated by the fact that his Chemistry 52 class has two syllabi, both over a hundred pages. Edward Bradley—Classics
Emeritus Professor of Classics Edward M. Bradley is called into Dartmouth every now and then to teach Latin. He’s the equivalent
Professor Miller is the leader of the Dartmouth Vietnam Project and also teaches a course on the Vietnam War. Unlike most courses, which usually focus on the American War in Vietnam, Professor Miller’s course focuses on the First, Second, and Third Indochina Wars to give students a better understanding of the Vietnamese perspective across the 20th century. Professor Miller is a demanding teacher who uses a reverse-lecture format; he asks students to watch his lectures online before class, so that students can have plenty of time for discussion during class. Reading assignments can be dense, but in-class discussions give students the opportunity to learn in depth and enrich their academic experience. Paul Musselwhite—History
Professor Paul Musselwhite is the History Department’s resident expert in early modern America. Hailing from Wales and educated at the University of Oxford and the College of William & Mary, Professor Musselwhite’s courses in empires and the American Revolution interrogate the material from all perspectives. He brings tremendous passion to his lectures: it is not uncommon for him to be out of breath by the time class expires. Despite his unfortunate support for the Liberal Democrats in his native United Kingdom, he is one of the Review’s favorite professors for his seemingly endless archive of knowledge, his obvious talents in the classroom, and his accessibility outside of it.
Michael Lurie—Classics Michael Lurie is an excellent up-and-coming professor in the Classics department. An expert in Greek theatre and intellectual history, Professor Lurie’s lectures are theatre themselves: they are highly entertaining and his enthusiasm is infectious. Professor Lurie is an original thinker who encourages his students to critically analyze existing classical scholarship. He does not hesitate to lavish praise on or ruthlessly criticize the opinions of venerated classicists. His lectures will change your perspective while deepening your capacity to think critically. The Review highly recommends his courses, which represent the best the liberal arts have to offer. Cecilia Gaposchkin—History The wife of another excellent Dartmouth professor, Professor Gaposchkin has a love for medieval history that rubs off on her pupils. Her lectures are captivating and informative. More importantly, her classes provide students with the skills needed to be successful outside of academia. She makes every attempt possible to meet individually with her students, in whom she takes both an academic and a personal interest. She does not just demand excellence, but she provides each individual with the feedback necessary to develop and improve analytical abilities. She embodies the ideals of a liberal arts education, and her classes are a must for any student wanting to get the most out of his or her Dartmouth experience.
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...They Were the Worst of Professors Aimee Bahng—English
Professor Bahng was beloved by a certain type of student, but students often go astray in understanding what is best for themselves. Professor Bahng was nothing more than an ideological hack, passing off the usual identity politics drivel as serious scholarship. She did not tolerate dissenting opinions in her classes and preached to the choir with courses such as Black Lives Matter. Furthermore, she invited to campus and refused to denounce notorious anti-Semite Jasbir Puar, a “scholar” most infamous for making unsubstantiated claims that Israelis are harvesting Palestinian organs. She recently left the College for Pomona, after not receiving tenure. Dorothy matics
knew what was going on. Often, she would wander into class late with a frazzled look on her face and then struggle to get through the class period. A frequent feature of said lectures was students pointing to simple mathematical errors, which would lead to minutes of silence as Professor Wallace puzzled through how to resolve the mistake. Thanks to her confusing and often impossible assignments riddled with typos, dozens of students would spend the wee hours in Novack, hurriedly rushing between tables, attempting to see if anyone knew how to solve the problems. It got so bad that the befuddled TA had to begin walking through students through each problem during office hours, essentially giving them the answers. Her classes are a truly unfortunate experience for any student interested in pursuing mathematics. Joseph ment
Bafumi—Govern-
Wallace—Mathe-
Professor Wallace may be the worst mathematics teacher that our contributors have ever encountered. This particular department is famous for picking professors far more interested in research than in lecturing, but Professor Wallace is beyond even that excuse. In Math 23: Differential Equations, the department combined two sections together so that she would only have to lecture once. But of the seventy students, few ever
Professor Bafumi is not a bad teacher. He’s just incredibly easy. He covers material at a very shallow level, particularly in his elections class, which tends to focus more on reading RealClearPolitics than on any particular academic literature. Of course, few of the athletes or Greek members who crowd his classes actually do the reading. During one particular section, Professor Bafumi had to threaten and finally institute reading quizzes simply because he grew tired of the dull and uncomprehending faces that stared back at him during each lecture. If you are looking for a fairly easy course, then Professor Bafumi’s unassuming and
happy-go-lucky style may be perfect for you. Given Dartmouth’s ever-increasing price tag, however, this appears to be a foolish decision. Phillip J. Hanlon—Mathematics
faculty member expressed incredulity that Professor Lim would design a course consisting of not much more than “a bunch of blog posts by partisans and ideologues.” This course, rather than even mention radical Islamic terrorism, focuses on attacking Republicans, the National Rifle Association, law enforcement, Donald Trump, “phallagocentrism,” and “Islamaphobia.” Steer clear. Reiko Ohnuma—Religion
Despite his claim of learning his basic economics in college from Janet Yellen herself, and after countless years of delivering perhaps the most boring and difficult-to-follow lectures in the entire school, Professor Scott could really use a government bailout. Few, if any, students report having learned anything about basic economics in his class. If one is looking to pursue serious study of economics at the College, avoiding Scott’s Econ 1 is the first step to success. Annabel Martin—Spanish
Though we certainly appreciate the effort President Hanlon puts in to spend time teaching students, those who have had the misfortune of actually sitting through his Math 11 class can testify to his ceaseless lethargy, which makes Jeb Bush and Ben Carson look like high energy individuals. As a testament to this, his lectures are often affectionately referred to as “Moving Dartmouth Boreward.” One source recalls visiting his office hours only to be drowned out by a squad of protesting scoundrels who threatened President Hanlon with “physical action” if he didn’t meet their demands. Rumors of the hard alcohol ban being violated in his classroom remain unsubstantiated. Eng-Beng Lim—Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies
Professor Ohnuma, a specialist in South Asian Buddhism, makes the list for one reason: some ridiculously thoughtless posts she put on her public Facebook profile in 2008. In a status update, she recounted how she was using Wikipedia to hastily put together a lecture. “Where is Wikipedia when you really need it? The Wikipedia article on modernity SUCKS. [emphasis Professor Ohnuma’s]” Then, “Yeah, I saw that page already. Thank f****** God for the Internet.” Strong language for a Religion professor. To a friend she then said, “I’m now going to shamelessly plagiarize your language.” The very next day she publicly bragged, “Reiko faked it with aplomb.” Remarkably, this supposed scholar is still teaching at the College. John Scott—Economics
In the wake of the recent terrorist attack on a gay nightclub in Orlando, Professor Lim designed a course entitled the “#Orlando Syllabus.” Upon seeing this syllabus, another
In addition to being an Associate Professor of Spanish, Professor Martin is director of the Gender Research Institute at Dartmouth (GRID). Through her role at GRID, she, along with Aimee Bahng, was responsible for inviting notorious anti-Semite Jasbir Puar to campus. Hosting Puar was disconcerting enough, but it was Professor Martin’s actions during the event that earned her a place on this list. After a student attempted to record the lecture, Professor Martin threatened him with force. In corroborating the student’s story, Professor of Anthropology Sergei Kan described her as “very hostile.” In addition, writing about the Freedom Budget occupation of 2014, she stated, “The students are asking for a sign of solidarity in their struggle and work towards making Dartmouth safer, more inclusive, and ultimately, freer.” We question whether Professor Martin knows the definition of the word free. Needless to say, we do not recommend taking classes with professors who would threaten students and who have trouble understanding basic Engli sh.
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Dartmouth’s Storied History
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One of Wheelock’s first pupils was Samson Occom, a young Connecticut Mohegan who was converted in heat of the Awakening. Wheelock helped him prepare for college until Occom’s weak eyes forced him to abandon his course of study. Occom established himself as a schoolteacher in New London, later becoming a preacher and schoolmaster to the Montauk tribe of Long Island. He sustained himself and his large family through the manufacture and sale of wooden spoons, cedar pails, churns, and leather books, as well as his missionary work. It was his efforts in this later role that led Wheelock to conceive of a language and missionary school, for Indian as well as white students, in the heart of the Colonies. After receiving a £500 bequest from two young Delawares, and an equivalent donation of land and buildings from Colonel Joshua More, Wheelock set up More’s (later “Moor’s”) Indian Charity School in 1754. The charity school was a pioneering enterprise, and received support from such luminaries as George Whitefield, the famed Connecticut Revivalist, who donated a bell. A decade after the school’s inauguration, Colonel More died, leaving the institution without its primary benefactor. To make matters worse, colonial interest in educating Indians was declining as a consequence of the French and Indian War of the late 1750s. Wheelock also proved unable to obtain a charter for the institution, either from the King of England or the Connecticut legislature. Financial hardship, meanwhile, only increased in severity. The Royal Charter and The Earl of Dartmouth Wheelock sent his former pupil, Samson Occom, to England in 1764. Because he was a well-received novelty there, Wheelock was convinced the Indian minister would be successful at raising funds. Wheelock’s inklings were confirmed when, together with Reverend Nathaniel Whitaker, Occom collected approximately eleven thousand pounds. It was an impressive figure for the time, especially given the deteriorating relations between England and the Colonies.
A number of prominent Englishmen contributed to Occom’s cause. Among them was William Legge, Second Earl of Dartmouth, and Secretary of State for the Colonies. He was an admirer of George Whitefield, and, by extension, of Wheelock and Occom. As president of the London Board for Moor’s School, he eventually secured a £200 gift from the King. John Wentworth, an American residing in England was also a key player in Dartmouth’s founding. As a recent appointment as Royal Governor of New Hampshire, he was eager to have the school relocate from Connecticut. His uncle, former Governor Benning Wentworth, had offered Wheelock 500 acres of land, to which John added the grant of an entire township. Wheelock accepted, and a new charter was finalized in December 1769. Wheelock chose Hanover as the school’s domicile shortly thereafter. Wheelock and Occom parted ways in 1768, allegedly over the expenditures of Occom’s family. It is also likely that Occom anticipated the character of Wheelock’s new college, as one primarily for whites, given the failure of Moor’s Charity School. Occom’s affiliation with a cause he had served so well had come to an end. Wheelock originally intended to name the college Wentworth, but the Governor persuaded him to designate it Dartmouth, to gain England’s favor. Ironically, the Earl of Dartmouth, William Legge, lost interest shortly thereafter. He considered Wheelock’s new plan a perversion of the original. The first building was a temporary log hut “without stone, brick, glass, or nails,” which served as a classroom and dormitory. In 1770, Wheelock constituted the college’s sole faculty member. John W. Ripley, Bezaleel Woodward, and John Smith joined him as tutors the following year. In 1771, Levi Frisbie, Samuel Gray, Sylvanus Ripley, and John Wheelock all became graduates of the College. Dartmouth has produced a class every year since, the only American college to do so, as the Revolution, the War of 1812, and other conflicts periodically disrupted studies at other institutions. Daniel Webster and The Supreme Court
Wheelock appointed his son, John Wheelock, to succeed him upon his death in 1779. John was only twenty-five, and seemed insufficiently qualified for the presidential office. Hesitant to approve his posting, the trustees eventually relented, due in part to Wheelock’s willingness to serve without salary. Eager to cultivate respect and support, the younger Wheelock proved too fervent in his efforts to govern the school, alienating students and the trustees. By 1809, opposition to Wheelock’s presidency took hold of the board, and slowly converted a majority of the professors to their point of view. After impeaching Wheelock in 1815, the trustees elected Reverend Francis Brown as his successor. Wheelock, having no desire to yield, however, convinced New Hampshire’s Democrats to join him in his struggle against the trustees, whom he accused of various offenses against the College. New Hampshire Democrats, led by then-Governor William Plumer, at first condemned the Dartmouth charter as one “emanating from royalty,” and one thus unsuitable for a republic like the United States. In 1816, these Democrats, by means of the state legislature, changed the name of Dartmouth College to “Dartmouth University” (calling the College a “University” has been a grave offense ever since), increased the number of trustees from twelve to twenty-one, and created a board of overseers with veto power over trustee decisions. Dartmouth was effectively transformed from a private college to a state university. The resulting controversy would outlive Wheelock himself, who died in 1817. Daniel Webster, a young Dartmouth graduate (Class of 1801) of growing repute, had been courted by both sides of the dispute, to serve as legal counsel. Some of the college community’s older members recalled Webster’s Dartmouth arrival in 1797. Webster was then dressed in homespun clothing, dyed by his mother, whose colors had bled upon contact with rain. Such was the humble beginning of a future Senator and Secretary of State. Webster lodged his support behind the College’s original trustees. He suggested they file suit against William H. Woodward, former treasurer of Dartmouth, demanding return of the charter, seal, records, and account books
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seized by him. The original trustees were defeated in the Superior Court of New Hampshire, but had their grievances elevated to the federal judiciary. They then appealed to the Supreme Court, though their prospects in that body were uncertain. Webster, for a fee of $1,000, agreed to represent them against the state. He would argue that New Hampshire’s actions, in impairing the “obligation of contracts,” were unconstitutional. Webster testified on March 10, 1818, in the case of Dartmouth v. Woodward, before Chief Justice John Marshall. Webster’s four-hour oration stands one of the most memorable in U.S history. At the end of his argument, he famously concluded: This, sir, is my case. It is the case not merely of that humble institution; it is the case of every college in our land. … It is more. It is, in some sense, the case of every man who has property of which he may be stripped – for the question is simply this: shall our state legislature be allowed to take that which is not their own, to turn it from its original use, and apply it to such ends or purposes as they, in their discretion, shall see fit? … Sir, you may destroy this little institution. It is weak. It is in your hands! I know it is one of the lesser lights in the literary horizon of the country. You may put it out. But if you do so, you must carry through your work. You must extinguish, one after another, all those great lights of science which, for more than a century, have thrown their radiance over our land. It is, Sir, as I have said, a small college, and yet, there are those who love it. Webster’s lip quivered and his voice choked as he delivered the final words. Justice Marshall’s eyes were reportedly moist with tears. A decision was postponed for a year as some of the justices pondered the case. During the interim, Webster, aware of public sentiment’s influence on court decisions, circulated widely the printed copies of his argument. In February of 1819, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the Trustees and the College. Only one dissenting vote was cast. In his magisterial opinion, Marshall remarked, “Perhaps no judicial proceedings in this country ever involved more important consequences.” Indeed, the case had extended national power at the expense of the state’s, confirmed the charter right of all private colleges of the land, protected business and non-profit organizations, and further encouraged their very establishment. Wheelock’s Early Successors Webster’s fiery orations brought renewed calm to Hanover. The College, its very character once endangered, entered into a period of normalcy. A pair of short, inconsequential presidencies was followed by Nathan Lord’s ascension. Serving for thirty-five consecutive years, Lord expanded enrollment and constructed Thornton and Wentworth Halls, the buildings flanking Dartmouth Hall. His open endorsement of slavery, however, provoked an eventual backlash against his leadership. In 1863, faced with the prospect of removal, Lord opted to resign his office. Rev. Asa Dodge Smith was appointed as his replacement. The College’s previous annexation of the Chandler Scien-
tific School (America’s first specialized scientific institution) was complemented, under Smith’s mantel, by the creation of the Thayer School of Engineering. This period also saw the establishment of an agricultural college in Hanover. After struggling financially for twenty years just south of East Wheelock Street, the institution subsequently relocated to Durham and later became the University of New Hampshire. Asa Dodge Smith’s successor, Samuel Bartlett, established a pattern frequently imitated by administrators to follow. Alienating legions of faculty, students, and alumni, Bartlett found his position in serious jeopardy. Unlike future leaders, however, Bartlett also possessed a magical touch, almost seamlessly repairing the rifts he had sown. Serving until 1893, Bartlett would oversee Rollins Chapel’s construction and pushed the endowment past the million-dollar mark. Safeguarding Dartmouth’s continued survival in the face of an unforgiving wilderness and physical isolation was the great triumph of early college leaders. Yet, succeeding leaders would facilitate even loftier achievements. Under their guidance, Dartmouth would not merely endure, but rise to the very pinnacle of education in the New World. The Twentieth Century It was throughout the early twentieth century, when stakes were highest, that the greatest of Dartmouth presidents came to power. The College, at that juncture, constituted little more than a finishing school. Its student body numbered 300, with serious scholarship in short supply among the highly antiquated facilities. While other American colleges fared little better, Dartmouth’s leaders understood the direction the future necessitated. Assuming the office of the presidency in 1893, William Jewett Tucker was the first seeking to bring Dartmouth into “the modern era.” His storied accomplishments included an overhaul of the physical campus. Construction of over twenty buildings was undertaken, and the steam plant was erected. Wood stoves on campus thus became relics of the past. The curriculum was also targeted for change, as it was “broadened” and somewhat secularized. The student body’s size expanded to 1,100. Tucker, like his contemporary Charles Eliot at Harvard, was a persistent advocate for progress in American education. He wished for America’s academic institutions, particularly Dartmouth, to befit the country’s greatness. In 1909, Ernest Fox Nichols entered the presidency in Tucker’s stead. The first since John Wheelock to not belong to the clergy, Nichols affected further secularization at Dartmouth. His tenure was also notable for the founding of the Dartmouth Outing Club and Winter Carnival. In particular, The Carnival became the stuff of lore and was later termed the “Mardi Gras of the North.” The setting of a 1939 motion picture and the scene of countless depravities, it also served host to a drunken F. Scott Fitzgerald. 1916 saw Ernest Martin Hopkins appointed as president. In addition to developing Dartmouth’s facilities, Hopkins introduced selective admissions
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FEATURES in the early 1920s. After almost thirty years at the helm, he was succeeded by John Sloan Dickey. Though previously an attorney and high ranking State Department official, Dickey was a man of breadth and his skills were apparent not only in Parkhurst, but also in full exertion among New Hampshire’s wilderness. He sought to hone his own mind, body, and spirit, and made the same far-reaching demands of every Dartmouth student. Under his watch, the ideal of the Dartmouth Man as a well formed, balanced, and vigorous being, reached its fruition. Dickey further aimed to make his students cognizant of the world at large. In this vein, he strived to develop a curriculum that was international in scope and established numerous foreign study programs. As Dickey told a Dartmouth audience while the horrors of the Second World War were still fresh, “The world’s problems are your problems … and there is nothing wrong with the world that better human beings cannot fix.” When Dickey departed from Dartmouth in 1970, his was a towering shadow. He left Dartmouth the strongest it ever was. Dickey instilled great love among Dartmouth alumni for their alma mater. Almost seventy percent gave funds to the College in any given year of his tenure, a percentage since unequaled. Replacing Dickey as Dartmouth president was John Kemeny. Co-creator of the BASIC computer language, Kemeny brought technology to the forefront of the College and worked to give
students ready access to it. He would also preside over co-education’s controversial beginning in 1972. To meet the needs of an expanded student body, Kemeny instituted the D-Plan, a year round schedule of operations that exists to this day. It was, in the words of some, a means by which to fit 4000 students into 3000 beds. Yet, even into the 1980s, men continued to fill as many as eighty percent of the residence halls. The Modern Era David T. McLaughlin succeeded Kemeny, and was himself followed by James O. Freedman. These members of the Wheelock Succession were rooted at opposite poles of the spectrum. McLaughlin, a businessman by occupation, proved unable to adapt to the world of the academy, and eventually tendered his resignation. Freedman, meanwhile, was an academic, fixated only on the life of the mind, and wished others at Dartmouth to follow his example. His inaugural address demanded greater representation of the “creative loner” at Dartmouth, and of “students who march to a different drummer….for whom a library is dukedom large enough.” With these words, Freedman set out to cultivate a student body that was a far cry from Dickey’s ideal, substituting balance for academic lopsidedness. The expansion of SAT scores’ importance in admissions was one consequence of Freedman’s quest. The East Wheelock Cluster, that glorious den of failed social engineering, stands as another monument to his efforts. In the end, Freedman’s legacy was one of the superficially academic, as best exemplified a few years
ago by a valedictorian who invoked the “Greek” poet Catallus in his commencement address. (See TDR 5/14/07). James Wright, Freedman’s successor, and presdient from 1998 until his retirement in 2009, was most notable for his efforts to abolish single-sex Greek houses and effectively do away with the college’s Greek system. This proposal, announced in 1999 as the Student Life Initiative, met fierce resistance from students and alumni alike and was ultimately defeated before it could be implemented. Wright also generated controversy with his mismanagement of the College’s finances, his expansion of the administrative bureaucracy, and his inability to address class overcrowding issues in certain departments. Such were the grievances aired by four different petition candidates vying for spots on the Board of Trustees. TJ Rodgers, Peter Robinson, Todd Zywicki, and Stephen Smith by name, these petitioners critcized Dartmouth’s abandonment of the ideals of breadth, well roundedness, and balance. Each of these petitioners was subsequently elected— Rodgers in 2004, Robinson and Zywicki in 2005, and Smith in 2007—by alumni to the board. Their significant margin of victory served as a repudiation of Wright’s tenure. Wright took notice, throwing the College’s whole weight behind the anti-petition candidates, and went so far as to set up websites designed solely to discredit this unendorsed challengers. After an uninterrupted string of petition candidate victories, Wright and Trustee president Ed Haldeman
Over in “Jerusalem” you will find the epic account of the career of monotheism as it worked its way out in history. The scriptures, like Homer’s works, have their epic heroes, and, like the Greek tradition in some ways they refine and internalize the epic virtues. “Athens” and “Jerusalem” interact and much flows from the interaction. You will follow all of this down through the centuries, through Virgil and Augustine, and Dante, in Shakespeare, Cervantes, and Montaigne, Moliere, Voltaire, Goethe and on to modernity. “The best that has been thought and said,” as Matthew Arnold called it. The mind of Europe as T.S. Eliot put it, “from Homer to the present.” I had never heard of the Athens-Jerusalem paradigm in 1956 when I got out of the Navy and returned to Columbia for my PhD. I had graduated from Columbia College in 1952. I was wandering around in Hamilton Hall getting my course cards signed when Lionel Trilling emerged from his office and asked if I would like to teach freshman English. I said yes, and soon had three sections of freshman composition and a section of Humanities 1-2, required of all freshmen, and consistently voted by Columbia alumni as the most valuable course they had taken at the College. But that fall, in 1956, I faced an emergency. I had transferred to Columbia in 1950 and had never taken Humanities 1-2. Even worse, the semester had already begun, and my section of Humanities I had begun without me (such was the disorgani-
zation of the English Department). I had never read the first book assigned, Homer’s Iliad. Thinking fast, I met the class, said hello, outlined Aristotle’s description of tragedy as set forth in his Poetics, and survived by discussing the nature and goals of tragedy and comedy, not acknowledging that this class right now was a perfect example of both. Teaching the two-semester Humanities 1-2 from 1956 to 1963, when I accepted a position at Dartmouth, led to the publication of my Smiling Through the Cultural Catastrophe, a trip through the Columbia Humanities 1-2 syllabus, with analysis and commentary. This book about Western Civilization came soon after 9/11, so Osama bin Laden became my promoter, and he turned out to be a very good one in fact. Everyone wanted to talk about Western civilization, which was under attack, and I did on CNN’s “Book Notes,” from its TV studio in Washington, D.C. The title Smiling Through the Cultural Catastrophe means that we have all the necessary books, but also that they are not read. As Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn has said, “A people that no longer remembers has lost its soul.” The ORC, Dartmouth’s course book, has the necessary ingredients to avert such a crisis. In Smiling Through Cultural Catastrophe, I added “Faust in Great Neck,” or, The Great Gatsby, to the core books of the Western canon. James Gatz pushes towards American possibility, re-invents himself as Jay Gatsby, and tries to defeat the ultimate reality:
announced a board-packing scheme that would minimize the voice of alumni-elected trustees. The College’s own Association of Alumni thereafter waged a high-profile legal battle against the school and alleged that the College had breached a governance contract that stemmed from an 1891 agreement between the Board of Trustees and the body of alumni. Though the lawsuit did not result in a restoration of the old order, it permanently tarnished Wright’s administration. Wright resigned shortly thereafter, leaving his successor, Dr. Jim Yong Kim, with a $200 million structural budget deficit. Kim’s appointment in 2009 overshadowed the Board of Trustees controversy and ushered in a more conciliatory era in Dartmouth politics. His first two years saw the balancing of the College’s budget and the reduction of bureaucratic bloat through administrative restructuring. President Kim also brought national attention to the College with the establishment of the Center for Health Care Delivery Science and other related medical initiatives. He no doubt drew the most eyes to Hanover when he was selected by President Obama to head the World Bank in March 2012. Unfortunately, this meant the rest of Kim’s third year was spent outside of Hanover as he tried to drum-up support for his candidacy. His absence was felt as major campus events—including a nationally-reported hazing scandal— rocked the administration. This distance from the College’s affairs led many students, faculty-members, and alumni to criticize his leadership style and ques-
tion his commitment to the insitution he presided over. On July 1, 2012, Kim formally left the College in the hands of Provost Carol Folt, a serial administrator who began her tenure at the College as a biology professor in 1983 and held a number of positions in the Wright administration. After a year blighted by scandals, protests, and campus controversy, Interim President Folt departed for the chancellorship of the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. President Phillip Hanlon, a graduate of the Class of 1977 and the eighteenth member of the Wheelock Succession, has since succeeded her and promises to pursue new policies that will end “high-risk and harmful behavior” and promote experiential learning on campus. The fate of Dartmouth, then, is not simply defined by its past. Rather, it is actively being shaped by all who attend or associate with her. It is traditional that, at graduation, the president bids the departing senior class, “so long,” rather than “good-bye,” the former signifying the graduates’ undying ties to the College. Those who enter Dartmouth, in a sense, never leave. These are words that the incoming class would do well to keep close as they begin to write the latest chapter in Dartmouth’s storied history. This set piece to the Review‘s Dartmouth Guide was written by Aziz G. Sayigh, Boris V. Babson, A.S. Erickson, Charles S. Dameron, Adam I.W. Schwartzman, and Nicholas P. Desatnick.
Finding an Education at Dartmouth
Jeffrey P. Hart Founder
Editor’s Note: The following article originally appeared in The Review’s Dartmouth Guide, a collection of advice for incoming Dartmouth students. We hope you find it just as illuminating today. Who are you? If you are part of Western civilization, your cultural ancestors are a tiny monotheistic desert tribe of Israelites and a small city-state in what we now call Greece. Even if you are unaware of this dual heritage, it influences your life every day. The political philosopher Leo Strauss discussed Western civilization’s foundations in his important essay “Jerusalem and Athens” contained in his collection Studies in Platonic Political Philosophy. The tradition designated “Athens” is associated with philosophy and with critical exercise of the mind. The tradition associated with “Jerusalem” is associated with monotheism. The two traditions interact, sometimes fuse, and there exists a dynamic tension between them. Many have argued that it is just this tension that has rendered Western civilization so dynamic down through the centuries. On the side of “Athens” you will want to learn something about Homer, who in many ways laid the basis of Greek philosophy, and you will need to meet Plato, Aristotle, the Greek dramatists, historians, architects and sculptors.
HART Emeritus Professor of English Jeffrey P. Hart. The Review was founded in his living room in 1980. time. The main job in getting a college education is to make sure the large essential parts are firmly in place, after which you can build upon them. The courses you need are right there
in the ORC and are often surrounded by nonessentials and even outright garbage. Dartmouth will not tell you what the right courses are to get a college education, but then that doesn’t matter—because I have just done so.
12 Monday– September 24, 2018
The Dartmouth Review
FEATURES
In Memoriam: John McCain III Daniel M. Bring Alexander Rauda Executive Editor Managing Eeditor
On Saturday, August 25th, Senator John McCain of Arizona passed away at the age of 81 after a year-long struggle with glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer. McCain’s struggle with the disease, since July 2017, was well-publicized, and his death came after the announcement on August 24th by his family that he was suspending treatment. Still, the death of one of its most august statesmen shocked the nation. McCain had not resigned from the Senate at the time of his passing, so his over thirty-year term of service ended with his tragic death. While it is proper to mourn the loss of such a committed public servant, it is also bittersweet and fitting to remember his achievements, his failures, and his triumphs. McCain, lauded perennially as a war hero, survived prisoner of war detention and torture at the hands of Communist North Vietnam. He survived brutal captivity and won elected office within a decade following his release. McCain, over his enduring career in the U.S. Congress, distinguished himself as a maverick, willing to buck party orthodoxy or prevailing trends of public opinion. His two unsuccessful presidential campaigns, most recently in 2008 as the Republican nominee, have left a lasting impact on the character of the GOP. Growing Up McCain McCain was born into a long tradition of American military service. His forefathers had fought in nearly every engagement of American forces, including the American Revolution, the War of 1812, both sides of the American Civil War, and World Wars I and II. While John McCain II was stationed at the Panama Canal, Roberta Wright McCain gave birth to John McCain III on August 29, 1936. As his father was stationed around the globe, McCain traveled extensively in his early childhood. Eventually, McCain’s family settled in Northern Virginia, where he attended a private school that instilled discipline in the younger McCain. While not a distinguished student, McCain scored well enough on the entrance exam to attend the United States Naval Academy; both his father and grandfather were graduates. McCain never excelled academically, placing 894th out of 899 in his class, but his courage and loyalty would later come to defy any sort of numerical ranking. Serving the United States When McCain received his commission on June 4, 1958, the Vietnam War had been raging for nearly 3 years. Trained as a naval aviator, McCain earned a reputation as a risk-taker. McCain managed to balance his military life with personal life, marrying Carol Sheep in 1965. However, 1965 also marked the start of Operation Rolling Thunder, signaling a major escalation of the Vietnam War by the Johnson Administration. In 1967, McCain would have his first
Mr. Rauda and Mr. Bring are students at the College and staff members of The Dartmouth Review.
brush with death when the USS Forrestal caught fire. While attempting to save another pilot from an enflamed jet, he was injured by shrapnel to his legs and chest. Later in the same year, he would earn a Navy Commendation Medal and the Bronze Star Medal for flying missions under difficult circumstances and lengthy shifts. Then on October 26, 1967, John McCain would face the greatest trial of his life as his plane was shot down over Vietnam. The words of David Foster Wallace, an American author and journalist who followed McCain’s 2000 presidential campaign, describe best the events that would follow: “Try to imagine for a second how much this would hurt and how scared you’d be, three limbs broken and falling toward the enemy capital you just tried to bomb. His chute opened late and he landed hard in a little lake in a park right in the middle of downtown Hanoi, imagine treading water with broken arms and trying to pull the life vest’s toggle with your teeth as a crowd of Vietnamese men swim out toward you...” Captured, tortured, and denigrated to the breaking point, his fellow prisoners did not expect McCain to survive. At the age of 31, his hair had turned white and until the day he died, he could not raise his arms high enough to comb his hair. His captors discovered his father was the commander of all U.S forces in Vietnam; he received an offer for an early release. Even after being held in solitary confinement, subject to round-the-clock torture, he did not concede. John McCain refused to be released, unless every other POW was released, resulting in even more torture. Slowly, other prisoners were released as the war devolved into incompetent escalation. But even McCain had reached his limit—eventually taping a confession that the Vietnamese would use for their deplorable propaganda efforts. McCain later wrote of his coerced complicity in propaganda, “there is never enough time and distance between the past and the present to allow one to forget his shame.” By December 1972, the war was reaching its end as the Christmas Bombing Campaign showcased American projection directly into Hanoi. Back at home the Anti-War movement was in full force, culminating with Jane Fonda’s infamous visit to North Vietnam. Both domestic and foreign pressures ultimately led to the signing of the Paris Peace Accords on January 27, 1973. Finally, after five and a half years in captivity, John McCain was released on March 14, 1973, earning the Silver Star Medal, the Legion of Merit, three Bronze Star Medals, an additional Navy Commendation Medal, and the Purple Heart. Though they could not heal his lasting physical and psychological wounds, these medals honored his ability to place others, and service to his country, above his own wellbeing. Becoming the “Maverick” McCain first won election to the U.S. House of Representatives in 1983 from Arizona’s 1st congressional district. He had emerged from a hotly contested Republican field to claim the nomination and win the seat of a retiring longtime incumbent. At the time, McCain fully affiliated himself with the Reagan
Republican tide sweeping the GOP. In the House, his early opposition to the creation of a federal holiday for Martin Luther King Jr. Day lingered with him for much of his political career. Still, his two terms as a Representative positioned him well for higher political office. In 1986, McCain won election to succeed Arizona Senator and Republican icon, Barry Goldwater, who was retiring from Congress. He was a member of the Armed Service Committee and worked to advance Native American issues as a member of the Indian Affairs Committee. As his first term in the Senate progressed, McCain became embroiled in a major national political scandal as a member of the so-called “Keating Five,” a group of five senators accused of corruption. McCain had received donations from banker Charles Keating Jr. and his firm, and was accused of intervening on behalf of Keating when his financial institution came under a federal regulatory investigation. Eventually, two of the Keating Five, Senators McCain and John Glenn (D-Ohio) were cleared of any wrongdoing but were criticized for their “poor judgment.” Both would later win reelection. Following the experience of the Keating Five scandal, McCain became a committed advocate of campaign finance reform. Forming a lasting alliance with Senator Russ Feingold, a Democrat from Wisconsin, McCain fought tirelessly to limit the influence of “soft money,” private contributions to political parties and committees, on elected figures. Though much of the public was sympathetic to McCain and Feingold’s campaign finance reforms, their draft legislation was met in the Senate with fierce opposition from both parties and filibustered. McCain’s maverick reputation continued to develop through this period. He distinguished himself by voting to confirm President Bill Clinton’s liberal Supreme Court nominees, Stephen Breyer and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. He broke with most Republicans to challenge the tobacco industry, winning the support of the Clinton administration in these efforts. He later voted to convict President Clinton in his 1999 trial following his impeachment by the House of Representatives. In 1999, McCain and Feingold were awarded the Profile in Courage Award by the John F. Kennedy Library Foundation, for their efforts to enact campaign finance reform. Running for President In late 1999, McCain announced his candidacy for the presidency, challenging Texas Governor George W. Bush for the nomination. McCain’s campaign efforts were centered around the early New Hampshire primary and his platform appealed to independent voters. His campaign compensated for lack of funds through direct interaction with the electorate and the use of free media. He won the New Hampshire primary with a resounding 49% to Bush’s 30%, and for a brief moment his campaign seemed unstoppable. McCain’s momentum slowed after a primary defeat in South Carolina, where Bush was better able to mobilize evangelical Christian voters and outspend McCain. Though he achieved a few more primary wins,
McCain’s campaign faltered and Bush went on to claim the Republican nomination handily. After his loss in the 2000 Republican primaries, McCain returned to the Senate as his once-adversary, George W. Bush, went on to win the presidency. His voting record diverged with the positions of the Bush administration early on; he was one of only two Republican Senators to vote against the Bush tax cuts in early 2001 and continued to pursue campaign finance reform legislation opposed by President Bush. His defeat by Bush in the primaries had not dampened his maverick spirit or brought the iconoclastic McCain into line with GOP orthodoxy. Following the September 11th attacks, McCain supported consensus decisions but also reached across the aisle. He supported the U.S.-led war in Afghanistan. He collaborated with then-Democratic Senator Joe Lieberman to establish the 9/11 Commission and co-sponsored the legislation responsible for federalizing airport security. McCain’s presidential campaign, while unsuccessful, established him as a leader in the GOP and one of the most influential Senate Republicans. In 2002, Senators McCain and Feingold were finally able to their pass their campaign finance reform legislation, which had been in the making for seven years. The Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act, popularly known as “McCain-Feingold,” passed the House and the Senate, with most of its supporting coming from the Democratic Party in addition to a minority of dissident Republicans. Though many of its provisions concerning corporate donations were struck down in Citizens United v. FEC, McCain-Feingold remains the most significant legislative accomplishment of its namesake Senators. Following victory with electoral reform, McCain took a principled and personal stand against the use of torture on detained combatants in the War on Terror. McCain’s advocacy for human rights in wartime was remarkable, as he brought his own experience as a prisoner of war to bear in the debates. He was a serious opponent of the Bush administration’s policies concerning extrajudicial detention and interrogation at Guantanamo Bay. His opposition came from not only his survival of brutal torture but also his commitment to the rule of law. His position can be summarized with his telling quote, “…even Adolf Eichmann got a trial.” McCain staunchly expressed that the U.S. had to adhere to international conventions of warfare and human rights. Empowered by his successes and growing reputation, McCain ran in the 2008 presidential election. He triumphed soundly in the primaries, defeating, among others, former Governor Mitt Romney of Massachusetts and former Governor Mike Huckabee of Arkansas, for the Republican nomination. Contemporaneously, a junior Senator from Illinois, the once obscure Barack Obama, defeated early Democratic favorite Senator Hillary Clinton of New York, to claim the Democratic nomination for the presidency. John McCain had to fight an uphill battle in the election, as the incumbent Republican President, George W. Bush,
was unpopular leaving an economy on the brink of collapse. Furthermore, McCain’s age made the GOP’s VP pick a highly scrutinized decision. The 2008 election was one of the most recent elections where the VP pick of the candidates played a major role in the outcome. Sarah Palin, then the novice Governor of Alaska, originally intended to balance the ticket and disrupt Obama’s momentum, ultimately eroded McCain’s campaign efforts. Among the major issues of the election was the ongoing war in Iraq, which had been raging on for five years with no end in sight. McCain’s support for the war, resulted in some non-interventionist conservatives voting for Obama instead. McCain campaigned on a platform of tax relief, stronger national security, tighter immigration controls, as well as opposition to universal healthcare and U.S. withdrawal from Iraq. Both campaigns found common ground on some issues, promising to keep jobs in America, protect the environment, and encourage legal immigration. McCain’s defeat was determined largely by circumstance. The escalation of the financial crisis and the advent of the Great Recession overshadowed the historic election of 2008. At the same time, Obama rode on a wave of Democratic Party momentum with a clear message of “Hope” to confront the wars and financial peril. That image, as well as Obama’s rhetorical skills and outsized campaign spending, contributed enormously to the junior senator’s landslide victory over McCain in November 2008. The Maturing Maverick Following his crushing defeat, the indefatigable McCain returned to the floor of the Senate. He became a fierce opponent of the earliest policy maneuvers of the Obama administration, from the economic stimulus package to the Affordable Care Act. He continued to support the interventionist foreign policy of the Bush administration, championing the War in Afghanistan. He fought futilely against the repeal of “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy concerning homosexuals in the armed forces, but compromised on some issues, such as tax relief. Following the outbreak of the Arab Spring, he vocally advocated support and even military intervention on behalf of rebel forces in embattled countries. He was an advocate for democratic movements wherever they arose, even in contentious Ukraine. McCain’s last few years in the Senate were characterized by concurrent developments in national politics, most importantly the rise of Donald Trump. The animosity between President Trump and Senator McCain began in 2015 during the presidential primaries. At the 2015 Family Leadership Summit in Iowa, Trump claimed that McCain “was a war hero because he was captured.” President Trump, who dodged the Vietnam draft, continually professed his discontent for the Vietnam war and McCain. Their relationship further deteriorated when McCain referred to a group of Trump supporters as “crazies.” Perhaps McCain’s and Trump’s relationship is explained through the ideological differences, as well as the visions for the Republican party that they hold. Trump, who ran a populist campaign,
The Dartmouth Review
Monday – September 24, 2018 13
FEATURES criticized the Iraq War and President George W. Bush, as the “establishment.” McCain voted conservative inconsistently, had given his support for the Iraq War and the “establishment.” Thus Trump attacked McCain through the 2016 election. While Trump’s attacks were uncouth, Senator McCain eventually declared that he would support the Republican nominee, irrespective of who the nominee was. It was only when the Hollywood Access tape broke out that McCain withdrew his support for Trump, only one day before the Presidential Election, on November 8th. Yet, while Trump was in office, McCain supported most of Trump’s picks for his cabinet, save for Gina Haspel, and voted for the very popular nominee to the Supreme Court, Neil Gorsuch. The perpetual maverick’s most overriding vote came when he infamously voted against repealing Obamacare. Such was the shock and importance of the vote, that many left-leaning outlets claimed the said vote was McCain’s most important one. After McCain’s passing, tensions could be seen in McCain’s invitation of Presidents Bush and Obama to present eulogies at his funeral, and as well
in Trump’s reaction to McCain’s death. When flags were only flown at half-staff for two days, a massive outcry caused President Trump to reverse his decision and extend the mourning period. McCain’s death brought an atmosphere of unity to the country, with officials from all political persuasions recollecting their favorite John McCain story. Remembering McCain Senator McCain was no stranger to Dartmouth College. During the 2000 Primaries, McCain campaigned hard in the state of New Hampshire. John McCain even called New Hampshire his second favorite state. Joseph Bafumi, associate professor in the Government Department recalled, “sometimes John McCain was called the third senator from New Hampshire because we liked him so much.” According to former Director of the Nelson A. Rockefeller Center for Public Policy and the Frank J. Reagan Chair in Policy Studies, Linda Fowler, “McCain drew energetic crowds to his events on the Dartmouth campus where students admired his self-deprecating humor, his accessibility to the press, and his candor about his policy positions.” Former Dartmouth College Profes-
sor James Wright said of McCain, “he knew something about the Dartmouth football team and our tradition. I found him very impressive. He was a true hero.” With such fond memories, there is little doubt that McCain was a true friend of the College and the people of New Hampshire. Senator John McCain’s legacy lives on in his ability to forgive his former enemies. Interestingly, both President Bush and Obama were invited to present the eulogies at McCain’s funeral. In the 2000’s primaries, he faced then-Texas governor George W. Bush, in a highly contested race. McCain was defeated in his bid but would later win the 2008 GOP nomination for President. In the 2008 campaign, many Democrats ruthlessly attacked John McCain portraying him as a warmonger and a racist. In contrast, when an Obama birther told McCain that Obama was “an Arab.” McCain retorted with “No Ma’am. He’s a decent family man, a citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues, and that’s what this campaign is all about.” McCain’s grace and honor distinguished him even in the heat of fierce competition, and his forgiveness was unremitting.
Senator McCain’s forgiveness has been extended to his past Vietnamese captors. When asked how he felt about the Vietnamese, McCain replied, “I hold no ill will toward them.” Pictures taken after his death show Vietnamese crying and laying flowers on a statue that holds his name. McCain’s compassion and legacy went beyond the borders of America. McCain also supported the Ukrainians and the Kurds in their struggle for freedom when others would not. His encouragement for more transatlantic ties, packaged along with his strong support for better relationships with Taiwan and Pakistan, make him among the few Senators that valued America’s benevolent role on the world stage. In remembering his long and illustrious career of service, McCain is regarded as the last in a dying breed of “conviction politicians,” who placed their own values over what it is politically convenient or more electable. It is difficult to regard McCain as totally selfless or unerringly principled, given his memorable theatrics and demonstrated ambition. He made mistakes throughout his career, suffered consequences, and learned lessons. Through his travails, he came to embody a purer form of American
electoral democracy, in which politicians could not be bought or sold, in which duty to country and principles came above duty to party and special interests, in which people came before personal power. McCain’s maverick personality, his trademark, made him not only a captivating figure but also an unusually thoughtful and decisive politician. In the weeks, months, and years following McCain’s death, he will be remembered in many different ways; he will be called a war hero, a failed presidential candidate, a legislative legend, and a warmonger. Only time will tell how he is remembered by the great consensus of historians. When we look back at his life, we should view McCain’s story as one of triumph in the face of adversity and absolute personal resolve and commitment. In the span of a single lifetime, he gave everything, up to that last full measure of devotion, for his country. John McCain’s legacy is a torch illuminating a great corridor of history. Looking to the past, it shows us how public servants ought to be, and looking to the future, it shows us what they can be. R.I.P. Senator John S. McCain III Thank you for your service.
Fact & Fiction: The Truth About The Review Nicholas P. Desatnick Editor-in-Chief Emeritus Editor’s Note: The following article was drafted as a response to one of many misguided criticisms hurled toward our paper. Naturally, our esteemed former editor seized the opportunity to set the entire record straight. In one of the more memorable anecdotes from last term’s “What’s So Great About America” debate, an audience member questioned Dinesh D’Souza about The Dartmouth Review’s record on gay rights in the early 1980s. As part of his response, Mr. D’Souza corrected what he called “an urban legend history” of this publication and remarked that “the Mother Jones recapitulation [of The Review’s actions] over the last 30 years bears no resemblance to [its actual coverage of the Gay Student Alliance and the group’s misappropriation of College funds].” Although his answer successfully addressed these particular misconceptions, it seems that the Mother Jones’ version of events continues unabated, often times in direct contradiction to the facts at hand. Witness The Daily Dartmouth’s March 28th edition of The Mirror and a story it ran on the College’s history over the last half century. In a section that chronicles campus social developments throughout the 1980s, its authors devote nine full paragraphs to describing the “slander, destruction, and lawsuits stemming in large part from The Dartmouth Review” and its “[disillusionment] with the direction the College was taking.” Unfortunately, in order to support this simplistic interpretation of events, the article’s authors rely on a selective presentation of the Mr. Desatnick is an alumnus of the College and an Editor-in-Chief Emeritus of The Dartmouth Review.
period’s history and render a highly exaggerated account of The Review’s actions. There are six explicit and implied distortions that need to be addressed: Distortion #1: “In 1983, The Review ran a story describing [former Professor of Music William Cole]… as looking ‘like a used Brillo pad.’” Fact: In 1983, this paper ran a series of articles that criticized three classes for their “deficient academic standards” and failure to comply with departmental requirements. One of those was Cole’s Music 2 course, whose syllabus was three lines long and whose lectures often had little to do with the American musical tradition. In her initial report, editor Laura Ingraham cited anecdotes from Cole’s racial musings on the first day of class and interviewed a number of students about their perceptions of his teaching style. One individual described Cole as “[looking] like a used Brillo Pad,” an anecdote that was subsequently quoted in one of Ingraham’s editorials. The Review neither originated nor condoned this description; it simply reported it as part of its journalistic due diligence. To suggest that we described him as such is therefore disingenuous and inaccurate. Distortion #2: “Cole subsequently sued The Review for slander and though the case was ultimately settled outside of court, the tension between Cole and The Review did not subside.” Fact: Professor Cole lodged a $2.4 million libel suit against this publication and three of its student editors. He charged that their report on his classroom behavior caused him severe “mental, emotional, physical, and financial distress,” yet he failed to specify a single inaccuracy in the entire story. After two years of legal proceedings, Cole was forced to drop his claims against all four defendants because his
legal representation was unable to substantively dispute any of the details in Ingraham’s article. Distortion #3: “In February 1988, several staff members of The Review entered Cole’s classroom with cameras and tape recorders. A scuffle ensued, which resulted in Cole breaking one of the cameras.” Fact: Three years after the lawsuit had ended, The Review published a follow-up issue on classes whose academic requirements were persistently substandard and included an article about Music 2. Entitled “Bill Cole in His Own Words,” the piece consisted almost exclusively of direct quotes from one of Cole’s lectures. Prior to publishing the issue, The Review acted on the advice of its legal counsel and sought comment from Cole, first over the phone and then in person. Upon seeing the staffers enter his classroom, Cole exploded, calling them “g*ddamnf*ck*n-*ss-white-boy-racists,” tearing the flashbulb off of photographer John Quilhot’s camera, and telling John Sutter to “come and take” an apology from him. The implications furthered by The D’s use of “scuffle” suggest that Cole’s physicality was somehow reciprocated, which as the reports of eyewitnesses confirm, was not the case. The Reviewers departed the classroom immediately following Cole’s outburst. Distortion #4: “Cole ultimately left the College in 1990, claiming that his clashes with The Review ‘totally blackballed him.’” Fact: Cole left the College a full two years after his last run-in with this publication. His mixed reputation on campus was the direct result of his disregard for the College’s academic standards, his proselytizing in the classroom, and his predilection for racial epithets like “honky.” The Review simply exposed these facts
for what they were and in no way set out to deliberately “blackball him.” Distortion #5: “At the beginning of the 1990s, over 2,000 people joined in a Dartmouth United Against Hate rally in an attempt to kindle campus unity and condemn The Review.” Fact: In 1990, much of the campus did indeed participate in a “Rally Against Hate” directed against this publication; however, The Dartmouth’s account of events makes no mention of either the Rally’s impetus or its repercussions. That fall, an unknown saboteur slipped an excerpt from Mein Kampf into this paper’s credo, sparking a campus-wide uproar. When The Review discovered the subterfuge, it immediately retracted and destroyed all outstanding issues and Editor Kevin Pritchett issued a public apology. Rather than comply with Prichett’s request for help in conducting an internal investigation, however, the Freedman Administration publically censured the paper and organized the “Rally Against Hate” to protest its anti-Semitism. After subsequent studies from the New Hampshire Human Rights Commission and the Anti-Defamation League of B’Nai B’irth found The Review’s staff (which was at the time over a quarter Jewish) to be free from “any hint of bigotry or prejudice,” many alumni and national media outlets were critical of President Freedman for not conducting a fact-finding mission before assuming that the Hitler quote was a deliberate ploy. The Wall Street Journal even went so far as to call the incident “Dartmouth’s Tawana Bradley case,” and quoted Dinesh D’Souza as saying it made “Mr. Freedman the Al Sharpton of Academia.” Such a momentous controversy was undoubtedly one of the more eventful episodes in the recent history of the College and deserves more than the accusatory and one-sided synopsis that The Mirror provided.
Distortion #6: “In Summer’s opinion, this action by Freedman [sic] allowed campus to focus on progressive academic changes. Among these turn-ofthe-decade changes were the creation of the minor, the culminating experience as a distributive requirement, the Presidential Scholars program, and the expansion of the Collis Center.” Fact: The problem with this statement lies not within its specific content (or its grammatical errors), but in its efforts to put a neat and tidy end to the apparent turmoil of the 1980s. While The Review was considerably weakened by the Hitler debacle, the controversy was by no means the end of its involvement on Dartmouth’s campus. Since then, the paper has played an instrumental role in a number of important debates, including President Wright’s Student Life Initiative and the role of alumni in College governance. The fact that one of The Review’s earliest correspondents, Peter Robinson ’79, could later be elected to Dartmouth’s Board of Trustees testifies to the paper’s ability to affect public opinion and have a lasting impact on trends at the College. That influence continues to this day. Although The Review has undoubtedly changed since the 1980s, its mission remains the same: to serve as Dartmouth’s only independent journal of critical thought and positively impact campus discussion. We like to think that the controversies of yesteryear helped us mature in our orientation to the issues before us and that we can fulfill an important role in the debates of today. It is with that end in mind that we want to encourage anyone with an interest in the paper’s history to view our past issues at their discretion. Our archives, much like the publication as a whole, are always open and ready to serve the campus. All you have to do is give them a read.
14 Monday – September 24, 2018
The Dartmouth Review
FEATURES
The Dartmouth Glossary Sterling C. Beard, Sandor Farkas, Jack F. Mourouzis
Editors-in-Chief Emeritus ACTIVISM: Express mild disparagement to make yourself feel less earnest as you participate. The point is good feeling, not efficacy. APATHY: Thunder against. AUTHENTICITY: What you say in public is an act. What you say in private is authentic. AWKWARD: Like “random,” except twisted and violent to your sense of self. May be accompanied by a symbolic turtle. BLACK LIVES MATTER: The most important organization currently on Dartmouth’s campus. Fighting for truth, justice, and the American way. In no way inflammatory or controversial. BLUE LIVES MATTER: Hate speech. BODIES: Don’t say a frat is dangerous; instead, declare “This space is not safe for black/female bodies.” BUDGET CUTS: Lament that they are necessary. Admit you don’t understand statistics and don’t have data. Then thunder against anyway. CALL-OUTS: Instead of arguing a point, call out individuals for possessing objectionable views. Observe verbally that you are calling them out. CHUBBERS: The listserv of the Cabin and Trail sub-club of the Dartmouth Outing Club. Neither negative emotions nor rides to hitch exist there. CLOSE-MINDEDNESS: The condition of being wrong. “Why must everyone be so close-minded?” CO-EDUCATIONAL FRATERNITIES: like fraternities or sororities but with less administrative scrutiny. Now know as Gender Inclusive Greek Houses, because, The Patriarchy. CULTURAL APPROPRIATION: A crime of the highest order. Remember: if it’s not YOUR culture, you are not allowed to even think about it. DAILY DARTMOUTH, THE: The world’s oldest college newspaper, purportedly founded in the late Neolithic era. Widely known for its journalistic integrity and quality articles that capture both the collective will of the student body and articulate important issues for the masses. It enjoys unparalleled access to the Greek System. A bastion of original thought, grammatical errors, and self-important executives. DARTMOUTH: Conservative by naMr. Beard is a member of the Class of 2013. Mr. Farkas is a member of the class of 2017. Mr. Mourouzis is a member of the Class of 2018. All are Editors-in-Chief Emeritus of The Dartmouth Review and contributors to our storied history.
ture. An intellectual wasteland before 1972. DARTMOUTH ACTION COLLECTIVE: One of the many names for the committee (of course) behind the Dis-Orientation Guide and other acts of activism. Occasionally holds “Resistance Workshops,” where they rail against racism, imperialism, and “colonism,” whatever that is. DARTMOUTH DINING SERVICES: An institution that lies somewhere between a Communist control economy and a Capitalist monopoly. They provide the best food at Dartmouth for the best prices, because theirs is the only food and theirs the power of price control. (See King Arthur Flour) DARTMOUTH EXPERIENCE: A précis of no more than a paragraph printable in college brochures or alumni newsletters. Must focus on a quirky interest, such as the semiotics of yodeling. DARTMOUTH FREE PRESS: Progressive, school sponsored alternative publication. Famous primarily for its profane, anonymous back-page rants. Articles appear to have been printed with a minimum of copyediting to achieve a “guerilla” feel. Now defunct. DARTMOUTH OUTING CLUB, THE: like a fraternity, but with flannel shirts and Carhartts instead of Vineyard Vines and salmon shorts. Everyone wishes they had been more involved during their time at Dartmouth.
FOREIGN STUDY: Useful for finding yourself, not so much for learning. Afterwards, post pictures on Facebook of yourself posing with the fascinating foreign people you encountered. FRATERNITIES: Large, brick devices used to oppress people. No members of minority groups have ever been admitted to them, sadly. Frequent these and make yourself feel better by joining progressive Facebook groups. FREE SPEECH: Of course you’re for it. “Duh.” But where do we draw the line? FREEDOM BUDGET, THE: Unrelated to freedom; also contains no dollar figures and is therefore not a budget. GREAT BOOKS: “Who says? By whose standards?” THE GREEK SYSTEM: Used to separate people by sex and class. Purveyor of alcoholic beverages and oppression. HARD ALCOHOL BAN, THE: A system cleverly designed by the administration to improve Dartmouth’s image and neutralize those students who will likely create negative PR problems. HAZING: Starts with DOC Trips, ends at Commencement. HOSTAGE SITUATION: When you barricade yourself in someone else’s office and lack chargers for your Macbooks. HUFFINGTON POST, THE: A publication that exists solely to report on Dartmouth’s drinking habits. See ROLLING STONE.
of everything that is right. Or a wizened alumnus who spends his time exposing the dirty secrets of the administration from his castle in France. KING ARTHUR FLOUR: a band of plucky socialist partisans fighting the fascist DDS. A favorite of basic white girls and anyone else willing to publically admit that they love those damn cupcakes. They also make good crème brûlée. LIBERTARIAN: Less annoying than conservatives. Won’t get thrown out of an Upper West Side cocktail party for their politics. THE LINE: Speculate about where to draw it when you panic and can’t think of anything else to say. LUNCHBOXES: Apparently only good for carrying vomelettes. Now banned. MALE-DOMINATED: popular.
Anything
OFFENSE: A subjective phenomenon that does not need explanation or rationalization. OLD THINGS: Treat as kitsch. OPAL: Dartmouth’s Office of Pluralism and Leadership. Function unknown, but likely a black hole for tuition dollars. OPPRESSION, OPPRESSIVE: When you barricade yourself in someone else’s office and the pizza delivery is too slow. Obviously, Ramunto’s must be a racist, sexist, xenophobic institution of hatred and patriarchy.
IRONY: Self-contradiction. Hints at towering smarts within. For good measure, occasionally thunder against.
PANEL: Where intellect and discourse, and especially intellectual discourse, go to die.
DELINEATE: Use improperly. “We must delineate between progressive and hurtful laughter.”
ISRAEL: If only Dartmouth would divest from it, all violence in the Middle East would cease instantaneously.
PATRIARCHAL: Most things in life. Institutions are everywhere.
DICTATORS: Compare your rhetorical opponents to mustachioed masterminds of twentieth-century genocides. Do this as often as possible.
IVY LEAGUE: Acceptance to a member school validates the way your parents raised you no matter how much you loathe them as a result.
DIVERSITY: Ethnic diversity. An end in and of itself. It is our strength.
JIM YONG KIM: Like many students, came to Dartmouth an idealist, left a banker.
YOURSELF:
The
FEELINGS: Must be protected at all costs. For what does it benefit a campus community to gain the whole world but hurt its feelings?
JOKES: Should serve a cause, like subverting the patriarchy. Dangerous when used to hold people to normative standards. JOSEPH ASCH: The cloaked defender
RIGOR: To be avoided. ROLLING STONE: A publication that exists solely to report on Dartmouth’s latest hazing scandals. SOCIAL SPACES: Notwithstanding AMARNA, Panarchy, Alpha Theta, Phi Tau, Tabard, every sorority, Aquinas House, Edgerton House, the Green, Moosilauke Ravine Lodge, Sarner Underground, Top of the Hop, etc., they do not exist outside of frats.
SPECIESISM: The newest trend in social justice. Deals with alleged prejudice against animals.
THE INDIAN: The apex of racial ignorance; insult and/or assault passersby who wear it.
EXPRESSING point of life.
THE RIGHT TO YOUR OPINION: “You have the right to your opinion, but…”
OCCUPY DARTMOUTH: Defunct.
DARTMOUTH REVIEW, THE: Make highly original quips about using it as a doormat. Never admit to reading it regardless of how much you agree with it. Has produced a Pulitzer Prize winner. We hear he now has a doorman.
ELITISM: Thunder against, however ironically.
RELIGION: Always “organized.” Spirituality is better, particularly if it doesn’t place any restrictions on enjoying nightlife.
SPEAKING OUT: Always necessary. Feels good, but typically ineffective.
DARTMOUTH RADICAL, THE: The successor to the DFP. Publishes, on average, once every year or so. Occasionally entirely handwritten.
JUAN CARLOS: A humble brother of the late Alpha Delta Fraternity for Men who went on to lead one of the world’s foremost educational institutions. Known for his undying sense of loyalty and visionary leadership.
REALTALK: Defunct.
NEOCONSERVATIVE: A useful epithet for undesirable things.
IDENTITY: The most important part of a human being in modern society. Violating someone’s identity, whatever that means, is essentially murder.
DOC TRIPS: Usually the best part of your Dartmouth Experience. Certainly the most innocent.
Nod gravely and smile grimly. Never forget to remind people to “check” said privilege.
THE OTHER: Use this term instead of “others “or “other people.”
PATRIOTISM: Creepy. “Dissent is the highest form of patriotism.” THE PAST: Was populated by various racists, misogynists, bullies, twits, and prudes. All else is superfluous. PEOPLE’S COALITION: Defunct. PHALLIC SYMBOLS: Profound. If you haven’t done the reading, flip to a random page and point one out in class discussion. Must be taller than it is wide, e.g. toothbrush, skyscraper. Smirk and/ or giggle while presenting your point to underscore the political mischief of it all. POLITICALLY CORRECT: The best kind of correct, even when it isn’t. PRIVILEGE: Denigrate your own privileged status to everyone around you. “We ALL benefit from privilege.”
THE SELF: Tack onto paper titles when you are desperate, e.g. “Late Capitalism and the Self.” SELF-CENSORSHIP: Your staunch refusal to say what’s on my mind. SELLING OUT: As a joke, refer to your taking a financial job as “selling out.” Placate yourself by reading mediocre poetry. SEX: An opportunity to demonstrate your broadmindedness. Fraught with political meaning. Make sure to obtain written consent in triplicate beforehand, though. SOLIDARITY: Standing with the oppressed peoples of the world. Has nothing to do with Lech Wałęsa. STEREOTYPES: Point them out in class discussion if you can’t think of anything to say. All are false and deeply hurtful. STUDENTS STAND WITH STAFF: Defunct. TENURE: Status given to exceptional professors. At Dartmouth, given exclusively to white males and intentionally withheld from everyone else. TRADITION: Sing about it wistfully, do your best to end it. TRIGGER WARNINGS: What The Dartmouth Review would have in its masthead if The Liberals got their way. Avoid all classes whose professors give them. UPTIGHTNESS: Ponder aloud why everyone is so uptight.. WHITE TEARS: Fornicate with th em.
The Dartmouth Review
Monday – September 24, 2018 15
FEATURES
Lost Songs of Old Dartmouth ev’ry land Dear old Dartmouth bless her name A Son of a Gun I wish I had a barrel of rum and sugar, three hundred pound; I’d put it in the College bell and stir it ‘round and ‘round, Let ev’ry honest fellow drink his glass of hearty cheer, For I’m a student of old Dartmouth and a son of a gun for beer. (Chorus) I’m a son of a, son of a, son of a, son of a, son of a gun for beer. I’m a son of a, son of a, son of a, son of a, son of a gun for beer. Like ev’ry honest fellow I like my whiskey clear, For I’m a student of old Dartmouth and a son of a gun for beer.
FRESHMEN study a book of Dartmouth songs and traditions, published by the Green Key Society, while wearing their customery green beenies.
> CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 Eleazar Wheelock by Richard Hovey ’85 Oh, Eleazar Wheelock was a very pious man; He went into the wilderness to teach the Indian, With a gradus and a Parnassum, a Bible, and a drum, And five hundred gallons of New England rum. Fill the bowl up! Fill the bowl up! Drink to Eleazar And his primitive Alcazar Where he mixed drinks for the heathen, In the goodness of his soul. The big chief that met him was the sachem of the Wah-hoo-wahs. If he was not the big chief, there was never one you saw who was; He had tobacco by the cord, ten squaws, and more to come, But he never yet had tasted of New England rum. Eleazar and the chief harangued and gesticulated; They founded Dartmouth College and the big chief matriculated. Eleazar was the faculty and the whole curriculum Was five hundred gallons of New England rum. Pea-Green Freshmen Where, O where are the pea-green freshmen? (3 times) Safe at last in the soph’more class. They’ve gone out from Pollard’s smut class. (3 times) Safe at last in the soph’more class. Mr. Farkas is a member of the Class of 2016 and Editor-in-Chief Emeritus of The Dartmouth Review.
Where, O where are the gay young soph’mores? (3 times) Safe at last in the junior class. They’ve gone out from Fergies’s physics. (3 times) Safe at last in the junior class. Where, O where are the drunken juniors? (3 times) Safe at last in the senior class. They’ve gone out from Foley’s hist’ry. (3 times) Safe at last in the senior class. Where, O where are the Grand Old Seniors? (3 times) Safe at last in the wide, wide world. They’ve gone out from their Alma Mater. (3 times) Safe at last in the wide, wide world. Where, O where are the funny, funny faculty? (3 times) Safe at last in their trundle beds. They’ve come back from Leb and the Junction. (3 times) Safe at last in their trundle beds. Dear Old Dartmouth by Rollo Reynolds ’10 & Walter Golde ’10 We will shout Wah-hoo-wah We will shout for old Dartmouth Once again at her feet We another vict’ry lay We will shout Wah-hoo-wah Strong her fame we are building For it’s Dartmouth’s Day Dear old Dartmouth Dear old Dartmouth Bless her name Whether in defeat or vict’ry We are loyal just the same Then we’ll sing to dear old Dartmouth ‘Tis for her we fight for fame And we’ll shout her praises loud in
And if I had a daughter, sir, I’d dress her up in green; And put her on the campus to coach the freshman team. And if I had a son, sir, I’ll tell you what he’d do. He would yell “to Hell with Harvard” like his daddy used to do. (Chorus) As the Backs Go Tearing By by John Thomas Keady ’05 As the backs go tearing by On their way to do or die Many sighs and many tears, Mingle with the Harvard cheers, As the backs go tearing by Making gain on steady gain Echo swells the sweet refrain Dartmouth’s going to win today Dartmouth’s going to win today As the backs go tearing by. Dartmouth’s in Town Again by H. Armes ’12 & Robert Hopkins ’14 Dartmouth’s in town again, Team, Team, Team, Echo the old refrain, Team, Team, Team. Dartmouth for you we sing, Dartmouth the echoes ring, Dartmouth we cheer you. Wah Who Wah Who Wah! Down where the men in Green, Play on play, Are fighting like Dartmouth men; We have the Dartmouth team, And say, Dartmouth’s in town again. Hanover Winter Song by Richard Hovey ’85 Ho, a song by the fire; Pass the pipes, pass the bowl. Ho, a song by the fire With a skoal, with a skoal. Ho, a song by the fire; Pass the pipes with a skoal, For the wolf-wind is wailing at the doorways,
And the snow drifts deep along the road, And the ice gnomes are marching from their Norways, And the great white cold walks abroad. (Chorus) But, here by the fire, we defy frost and storm; Ha, ha we are warm, and we have our heart’s desire. For here, we’re good fellows, and the beechwood and the bellows; And the cup is at the lip in the pledge of fellowship. Oh, here by the fire, we defy frost and storm; Ha, ha, we are warm, and we have our heart’s desire. For here we’re good fellows, and the beechwood and the bellows. And the cup is at the lip in the pledge of fellowship Of fellowship Pile the logs on the fire; Fill the pipes, pass the bowl. Pile the logs on the fire With a skoal, with a skoal. Pile the logs on the fire; Fill the pipes with a skoal, For the fire goblins flicker on the ceiling, And the wine witch glitters in the glass, And the smoke wraiths are drifting, curling, reeling, And the sleigh bells jingle as they pass. Oh, a God is the fire; Pull the pipes, drain the bowl. Oh, a God is the fire With a skoal, with a skoal. Oh, a God is the fire; Pull the pipes with a skoal, For the room has a spirit in the embers, ’Tis a God and our fathers knew his name, And they worship’d him in long-forgot Decembers, And their hearts leap’d high with the flame. Eleazar Wheelock Must Be Turning In His Grave Eleazar Wheelock must be turning in his grave Oh, Eleazar Wheelock must be turning in his grave Oh, Eleazar Wheelock must be turning in his grave As we go marching on Glory, glory to old Dartmouth Glory, glory to old Dartmouth Glory, glory to old Dartmouth For this is Dartmouth’s day Dartmouth Touchdown Song by Winsor Wilkinson ’10 & Moses Ewing ’13 Come stand up men and sing for Dartmouth. Cheer when the team in green appears. For naught avails the strength of Harvard, When they hear our mighty cheers! Fight, fight, fight for Dartmouth, And tear on down the field. Touchdown,Touchdown, Dartmouth, For the old Crimson’s strength must yield.
Glory to Dartmouth Glory to Dartmouth, Loyal, we sing. Now, all together, MAKE THE ECHOES RING FOR DARTMOUTH! Our team’s a winner, We’ve got the stuff! We wear the Dartmouth Green And that’s enough! DARTMOUTH, DARTMOUTH, TEAM! The Dartmouth Song by W.B. Segur ’92 & H.R. Wellman ’07 Come fellows, let us raise a song, and sing it loud and clear, Our Alma Mater is our theme, Old Darmouth, loved and dear. (Chorus) Dartmouth! Dartmouth! challenge thus we fling! Dartmouth! Dartmouth! Hear the echoes ring! Thy honor shall be ever dear, Old Dartmouth green without peer, as long as we can give a cheer, For Dartmouth! Wah-hoo-wah. Let every care be now withdrawn, while this our song we raise; From Freshman gay to Senior grave, For Dartmouth and her praise. (Chorus) Whatever battles we may meet, in courage, brawn or brain, The world will never have to call, On Dartmouth men in vain. (Chorus) They name we’ll cherish all our lives, Thy honor we’ll hold up! And wish that we were back again, Within they classic fold. (Chorus) Dartmouth Undying by Franklin McDuffee ’21 Dartmouth, there is no music for our singing No words to bear the burden of our praise Yet how can we be silent and remember The splendor and fullness of her days Who can forget her soft September sunsets Who can forget those hours that passed like dreams? The long cool shadows floating on the campus The drifting beauty where the twighlight streams? Who can forget her sharp and misty mornings, The clanging bells, the crunch of feet on snow, Her sparkling noons, the crowding into Commons, The long white afternoons, the twilight glow? See! By the light of many thousand sunsets, Dartmouth Undying, like a vision starts. Dartmouth, the gleaming, dreaming walls of Dartmouth, Miraculously builded in our hearts.
16 Monday – September 24, 2018
The Dartmouth Review
THE LAST WORD GORDON HAFF’S
COMPILED BY EASHWAR N. SIVARAJAN
The man ignorant of mathematics will be increasingly limited in his grasp of the main forces of civilization –John G. Kemeny
“In one century, we went from teaching Latin and Greek in high school to offering remedial English in College.” -Joseph Sobran
“Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
“Dartmouth is the place I’ve devoted my life to, so it’s very sad to see this decline in the intellectual strength of the institution,” -Jon Appleton
“New England has a harsh climate, a barren soil, a rough and stormy coast, and yet we love it, even with a love passing that of dwellers in more favored regions.” -Henry Cabot Lodge
“Being an adult means accepting those situations where no action is possible.” -John D. MacDonald
“It is not a sign of arrogance for the king to rule. That is what he is there for.” –William F. Buckley Jr.
“Because there is very little honor left in American life, there is a certain built-in tendency to destroy masculinity in American men.” -Norman Mailer
“There is no inherent virtue to instantaneity.” -Pulitzer Prize-winner Joseph Rago ’05
“We do not admire the man of timid peace. We admire the man who embodies victorious effort; the man who never wrongs his neighbor, who is prompt to help a friend, but who has those virile qualities necessary to win in the stern strife of actual life.” -Theodore Roosevelt
“I was Born a Heathen and Brought up In Heathenism, till I was between 16 & 17 years of age, at a Place Calld Mohegan, in New London, Connecticut, in New England.” -Samson Occom “It is, Sir, as I have said, a small College, And yet, there are those who love it.” -Daniel Webster , Class of 1801 “At Dartmouth, we make you into a man by allowing you to remain a boy.” -John Dickey “Here in New England, the character is strong and unshakable.” -Norman Rockwell
“Without an adversary, virtus shrivels. We see how great and how viable virtus is when, by endurance, it shows what it is capable of.” -Seneca “Truth withers when freedom dies, however righteous the authority that kills it; and free individualism uninformed by moral value rots at its core and soon brings about conditions that pave the way for surrender to tyranny.” -Frank S. Meyer
BARRETT’S MIXOLOGY
A Conservative Odyssey Ingredients
• 2 oz. Bourbon, stolen from daddy’s liquor cabinet while packing • ¾ oz. Sweet revenge, or at least the desire for it • Dash of bitter, bitter resentment of the Shared Academic Experience • Cherry to garnish, since his freshman year will do without many
Drink in me, Muse, and through me slur the story of that freshman versed in all ways of debating, the conservative, harried for years on end, after he affronted the female of the valley of Berkeley. He saw the freshmen and engaged the minds of many distant men, and weathered many O-week nights and days without friends, you see, while he fought only to save his beliefs, to bring his principles to college. But not by will nor humor could he save his social life, for his own provocation destroyed it all— children and fools, they were triggered and angered by his reason and rationale, and she who moves all day through OPAL took from his eyes the dawn of acceptance… And let him return home, to The Dartmouth Review.
— Conrad Kissinger
“Yet there be certain times in a young man’s life, when, through great sorrow or sin, all the boy in him is burnt and seared away so that he passes at one step to the more sorrowful state of manhood” -Rudyard Kipling “Taxes are the price we pay for a civilized society.” -Oliver Wendall Holmes Jr. “Here is the manliness of manhood, that a man has a good reason for what he does, and has a will in doing it.” -Alexander MacLaren “A man’s got to have a code, a creed to live by, no matter his job.” -John Wayne “Conservatism is alien to the very nature of capitalism. -Whittaker Chambers “For me, The Dartmouth Review embodied the Dartmouth spirit: A hard-working and highly intellectually stimulating atmosphere that nonetheless always found time for barbecues, cocktails, and croquet..” –Thomas “Harry” Camp
IN MEMORIAM
SEN. JOHN McCAIN (1936-2018)