The Sophomore Summer Issue (8.22.2016)

Hanover Review Inc. P.O. Box 343 Hanover NH, 03755

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THE SOPHOMORE SUMMER ISSUE

RIO DE JANIERO Dartmouth ‘14 Abby D’Agostino and Nikki Hamblin of New Zealand embrace after colliding in the 5000m Semifinals

LA Times

Summer at Dartmouth: Way Back When

Dartmouth Review Staff experience that helps to define Daily Sun in 1941. These were celebrates its fourteenth anni- appreciated post-mid-term ex- Weekend. On Saturday afterThe Dartmouth Review

Many Dartmouth students are aware of Sophomore Summer before they even matriculate.

Many can remember gazing with awe upon the heaps of Keystone cans that litter Webster Avenue during their first tour of the College. Some choose to sit in on classes — perhaps a skewed view considering the disparate size of summer courses.

When they finally matriculate, students are bombarded with tales of the summer from upperclassmen, many of whom have just settled in to their normal Dartmouth routines after a summer of decadence.

When they pledge fraternities, sororities, and co-eds, the same students are inundated with legends of debauchery and fun that allegedly took place over the summer term.

While the reality of the Sophomore Summer may be a tad more mundane than they were expecting, many Dartmouth students find it to be a singular

their Dartmouth careers. They also find that the summer has some less-than-desirable elements. For many years now, Dartmouth students have complained about the College’s refusal to install air-conditioning in dormitories (as well as its rank hypocrisy in refrigerating Parkhurst at a frosty sixty-five degrees), the abundance of campers, the lack of dining options, and the numerous regulations (especially around bodies of water) that prevent them from enjoying their summer days to the fullest.

In following with tradition, The Dartmouth Review presents excerpts from past summer articles, chronicling the history, changes, up, and downs of sophomore summer.

The Early Years Dartmouth first decided to offer a summer term in 1942 to “speed up their summer courses“according to the New Years Eve edition of the Lewiston

the good days when our winter interim was referred to as “Christmas break’”and political correctness wasn’t dominating the campus cultural life. The sophomore summer, however, became a Dartmouth tradition in the mid-1970s.

Despite what the admissions office tells prospective students, the Sophomore Summer did not become a tradition because the College wanted to help students get internships.

When President John George Kemeny (born Kemény János György) made Dartmouth go coed in 1972, he compounded the housing problem that had existed for years. In order to balance the ratio of men to women at the College, he implemented the quarter system and dubbed it the “Dartmouth Plan.”

Dartmouth traditions quickly expanded to fill the vacuum.

In 1986, the Review published an article chronicling what was then called the Summer Carnival: Dartmouth’s Summer Carnival

versary this weekend. By now the originally two-day event has grown into a bash that extends over four days and whose fame rivals that of its winter term sibling. Thousands of expectant visitors will grace the Hanover plain: older alumni who are curious about the term that did not exist when they were students, more recent graduates who miss the glorious, carefree days of New England river bank summers, undergraduates who are not taking classes and can’t bear a full ten weeks away from fraternity parties and Baker Tower chimes, and, of course, a lump sum of guests who are unrelated to the College but are interested in experiencing for themselves what is reputed to be “the” New Hampshire social event of the season.

Back in 1973, when students first crossed the Dartmouth Green toting suntan lotion on top of their textbooks, an official summer party weekend did not exist. The undergraduates in residence recalled the much

ams respite and snow-inspired festivities of February’s Winter Carnival. They realized that ten weeks of “school should be out now” academia would simply not be survivable without a no-holds-barred celebration of summer. Gradually, the idea for a “Summer Weekend” took the shape of a two-day series of athletic and social events. Friday night fireworks officially opened the weekend over the course of which fraternities, dormitories, and student organizations competed in bike races, canoe races, and a Tug-O-War. Faculty and students alike enjoyed a Saturday afternoon Blue Grass concert and Fiddling contest followed by a dance at Alumni Hall. College officials expressed the hope that “the Summer Weekend will become an intrinsic part of summer term.” That hope did not take longer than one year to become a reality.

The following summer, members of the Tabard fraternity led

by Morrie Wilson ‘75 formally organized a Summer Carnival

noon, booths designed by administrative offices, dormitories, fraternities and student organizations covered the Green. All potential booths had to pass the “sane and sanitary” requirements of a Summer Carnival review board. Among the attractions were games of skill and chance, live horse rides, cotton candy and popcorn stands, and the overwhelmingly popular “Dunk the Dean” booth. Local area musical groups entertained on the Green while people tried their luck at Psi U’s Bull-Riding Barrel and the Green Key Society’s Trivia Booth, or got lucky at Alpha Delta’s Kissing Booth.

Folk and blues singer Bonnie Raitt performed in Spaulding Auditorium, establishing the annual Summer Carnival musical concert. The film “King Kong” was shown in Webster Hall, becoming the first annual special Summer Carnival cinematic presentation, and the entire carnival grossed $700 [over $3500 in 2016 dollars].

> FEATURES PAGE 6

FOSTERING HEALTHY COMPETITION AT DARTMOUTH

THE ORLANDO SYLLABUS

TDR UNIVERSITY: COVER LETTERS

Dartmouth is a competitive place, but is that competition good or bad for its student body? Summer Editor-in-Chief Joshua D. Kotran makes his case.

An examination of libral indoctrination in higher education.

The Review explains how to write the perfect cover letter to make sure you win corporate recruiting.

> EDITORIAL PAGE 3

> FEATURES PAGE 8

> FEATURES PAGE 9

2 Monday – August 22, 2016

The Dartmouth Review

TABLE OF CONTENTS

FRESHMEN WRITE

WORK

For thirty-five years, The Dartmouth Review has been the College’s only independent newspaper and the only student opinion journal that matters. It is the oldest and most renowned campus commentary publication in the nation and spawned a national movement at the likes of Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, and countless others. Our staff members and alumni have won many awards, including the Pulitzer Prize, and have been published in the Boston Globe, New York Times, National Review, American Spectator, Wall Street Journal, Weekly Standard, Village Voice, New Criterion, and many others.

The Review aims to provide a voice for any student who enjoys challenging brittle and orthodox thinking. We stand for free speech, student rights, and the liberating arts. Whatever your political leanings, we invite you to come steep yourself in campus culture and politics, Dartmouth lore, keen witticisms, and the fun that comes with writing for an audience of thousands. We’re looking for writers, photographers, cartoonists, aspiring business managers, graphic designers, web maestros, and anyone else who wants to learn from Dartmouth’s unofficial school of journalism.

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Meetings held Mondays at 6:30 PM at our offices at 32 S. Main Street (next to Lou’s in the lower level office space)

INSIDE THE ISSUE A History of Sophomore Summer in Hanover

Making Music at Dartmouth

Healthy Competition

Tuition Rises, Student Experience Suffers

Term in Review

The Golden Rule

Libral Bias: The Orlando Syllabus

Review Reviews: Worthy Kitchen

A compilation of articles from past issues of The Review that showcase the taditions of old fading farther and farther into the past ..................................................................PAGE 1

Summer Editor Joshua D. Kotran discusses the competitive environment at Dartmouth and examines its flaws ..................................................................................................... PAGE 3

A twist on the classic Week in Review, covering all the most important happening in Hanover from Commencement to date ..................................................................................................................... PAGE 4

An examination of libral indoctrination at Dartmouth, using Prof. Eng Beng Lim’s class as a case study that showcases the inadequacies of these teachings ................................................................ PAGE 8

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The Review speaks with campus musicians about the lack of institutional support for their atypical pursuits outside the classroom .............................................................. PAGE 8

An inquisitive piece that questions Dartmouth’s decision to charge an equal amount for the summer term when it costs less for the College ..................................................... PAGE 9

Mike Perkins discusses unethical behavior at Dartmouth and explains how the “Golden Rule” is altered in Hanover on a daily basis ................................................................................................. PAGE 10

The gang is back for the most recent edition of the beloved satire on Upper Valley cuisine with a titivating take on Worthy Kitchen ..................................................................................................... PAGE 11

PUTIN READS THE REVIEW. DO YOU?

The Dartmouth Review

Monday – August 22, 2016

3

MASTHEAD & EDITORIAL EST. 1980

“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win great triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to takerank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”

—Theodore Roosevelt

EDITORIAL BOARD

EDITORIAL

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Healthy Competition

JOSHUA D. KOTRAN

EXECUTIVE EDITORS ROBERT Y. SAYEGH ASHWATH M. SRIKANTH

MANAGING EDITORS MICHAEL J. PERKINS WARREN I. SCHORR JOHN S. STAHEL

INTERNS

“LOW ENERGY” JEB GIL HANLON HARRISON M. MAIDMAN

BUSINESS STAFF PRESIDENT

ROBERT Y. SAYEGH

VICE PRESIDENTS SENATOR JOHN “BLUTO” BLUTARSKI ASHWATH M. SRIKANTH

ADVISORY FOUNDERS

GREG FOSSEDAL, GORDON HAFF, BENJAMIN HART, KEENEY JONES

LEGAL COUNSEL

MEAN-SPIRITED, CRUEL, AND UGLY

BOARD OF TRUSTEES

MARTIN ANDERSON, PATRICK BUCHANAN, THEODORE COOPER-STEIN, DINESH D’SOUZA, MICHAEL ELLIS, ROBERT FLANIGAN, JOHN FUND, KEVIN ROBBINS, GORDON HAFF, JEFFREY HART, LAURA INGRAHAM, MILDRED FAY JEFFERSON, WILLIAM LIND, STEVEN MENASHI, JAMES PANERO, HUGO RESTALL, ROLAND REYNOLDS, WILLIAM RUSHER, WESTON SAGER, EMILY ESFAHANISMITH, R. EMMETT TYRRELL, SIDNEY ZION

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF & PRESIDENT EMERITUS SANDOR FARKAS & MATTHEW R. ZUBROW

NOTES Special thanks to William F. Buckley, Jr. “What do you call a psychic midget who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.”

The Editors of The Dartmouth Review welcome correspondence from readers concerning any subject, but prefer to publish letters that comment directly on material published previously in The Review. We reserve the right to edit all letters for clarity and length. Please submit letters to the editor by mail or email: editor@dartreview.com Or by mail at:

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Please direct all complaints to: editor@thedartmouth.com

Every Dartmouth tour guide makes it a point his or her own health, the interests of others, and to advertise the academic environment of the col- ethical behavior. How can Dartmouth separate lege as collaborative rather than cutthroat. Unlike the good competition from the bad? some of the other hogwash one might hear on Brown University’s solution for reducing comthese tours (or any college tour for that matter), petition was to eliminate almost all graduation this is actually true, for the most part. Despite requirements, allow students to take courses PassDartmouth’s rigid median grades, students often Fail, and eliminate grades with pluses or minuses. study together for tests, look over each other’s But that extreme has costs; that less self-motivatessays, share study guides, and generally root for ed students choose to avoid rigor and that some their peers to succeed. This collaborative spirit, employers discount a Brown degree or high however, does not overshadow Dartmouth’s na- Brown GPA. Moreover, many Dartmouth stuture as a highly competitive environment from dents chose Dartmouth precisely to avoid an acthe first day students arrive on campus. ademic environment like Brown’s. Pushing aside Most Dartmouth students were either the best healthy competition for the sake of minimizing or among the best at a certain discipline at their unhealthy competition is not the answer. respective high schools, whether it was academThere are micro-level structural fixes that ics, athletics, acting, pottery, or debate. Many were could go a long way in alleviating the cancer of among the best in more than one of unhealthy competition. The first is endthese areas. For most, being placed ing the college’s failed experiment on a small campus with 4,000 with increasing “academic rigor”. immensely talented students Not the same as rigorous academis a humbling experience. Strivics, academic rigor has more to do ing for comparative excellence with holding tests on weekends and at Dartmouth, one finds, will be a arbitrarily lowering course medians bit more difficult than it was in high than it does with the complexity of the school. material and the difficulty of course Before the first exams begin, assessments. Thus far, it has only students compete for spots served to make the more diffiin a capella groups, dance cult classes at the college (such troupes, and club sports as those in STEM and EconomJoshua D. Kotran teams. Acceptance to these ics) more difficult, while leaving groups turns out to be more competitive than the courses and departments with recurring “A” many would think. Later on, students receive medians essentially untouched. Those who were their first test grades, course grades, and fresh- already under a substantial amount of stress are man-year GPAs. While plenty of students excel now being subjected to greater stress. The secfrom the outset, nearly everyone sees a handful ond fix involves corporate recruiting. While the of their peers doing better and often substantially recruiting program offers a sizeable number of better than themselves. options in the financial services industry, most of The competition intensifies in the pursuit of the consulting firms that recruit at Dartmouth are coveted internships and post-graduation jobs. in the top tier of the industry and are often even The process starts during sophomore summer, more competitive than the bulge-bracket banks. when a handful of companies (mostly in the This is not even to mention the general lack of consulting and financial services industries) re- diversity in the companies that come to the Colcruit on campus in search of the top candidates at lege. The Center for Professional Development one of the top schools in the country. Competing needs to work on bringing tech companies as well against candidates that look almost perfect on pa- as Fortune 500 companies in other industries to per can be a herculean task, just ask the plethora meet the demands of its students, and remind of students with 3.7+ GPAs that ended the pro- those students that they can still go on to have cess without a single offer. successful careers even if they don’t get jobs at the The point is clear; Dartmouth can be a stress- top finance and consulting firms. ful, competitive, high-pressure environment.

These suggestions are just two examples. In With that much settled, however, many questions general, Dartmouth’s administration should alstill abound. Is this environment healthy? Is it ul- locate more resources and pay more attention to timately beneficial for students? If not, is there a creating a competitive environment conducive way to change or improve it? to the intellectual and personal growth of its stuDartmouth alums are pretty successful, even dents, rather than one that can be soul crushing to in comparison with the few schools that have aspiring doctors and economists, those who don’t lower acceptance rates and higher national rank- have their hearts set on careers in finance, or don’t ings. Eight Dartmouth graduates are representing have high enough GPAs to be considered by the their respective nations at the Olympics, a high current group of campus recruiters. total for a college of such small size and high-caliFinally, the Dartmouth community needs to ber academics. Tons of current and former CEOs adopt a different collective attitude. With every and multimillionaires have attended the College. failure, students must be reminded of the caliber On the other hand, cheating, illegal use of study of their competition and urged to use defeat as drugs, and mental health issues run rampant at a source of healthy motivation rather than disDartmouth. To varying degrees, these problems couragement. There must also be the constant recan all be traced back to the pressure of compe- minder that while academic success is important; tition. it is not worth harming one’s body and mind or There is both healthy and unhealthy compe- acting unethically. Much of this may seem obvitition. Healthy competition encourages people ous, and to some extent this dialogue is already to strive to get the best out of themselves and, ongoing. However, if we hope to foster a healthy through successes and failures, become better competitive environment, this thinking needs to people. Unhealthy competition occurs when one become a more pervasive part of Dartmouth’s will stop at nothing to succeed, at the expense of culture.

4 Monday – August 22, 2016

The Dartmouth Review

TERM IN REVIEW WAY TOO EARLY FOOTBALL PREVIEW 2016 With the NFL preseason underway, it seems only fitting to look ahead and preview what’s to come for the Dartmouth Big Green Football team in 2016. Coach Buddy Teevens is coming off of a huge season winning the Ivy League title for the first time in ten years. The team dominated last year by stout defensive play from a unit that finished first in the league giving up only 277 yards per game. The high-powered offense also tore apart opposing defenses as quarterback Dalyn Williams broke the record for most career yards of total offense. However, as great as last year’s team was, the vast majority of the starters were seniors. Now that many of the top players have graduated and are taking a stab at the NFL, the big question is how will Coach Teevens reload his team for 2016. On offense there are some big shoes to fill including the aforementioned Dalyn Williams, top two running backs Kyle Bramble and Brian Grove, top two receivers Ryan McManus and Victor Williams, and top offensive lineman Jacob Flores, who is currently playing for the Green Bay Packers. The offense will be returning experienced running back Ryder Stone (’18) who looks to be the favorite for the starting job. As for quarterback, the decision is between ‘18s Bruce Dixon and Jack Heneghan. Both quarterbacks have their upside as Heneghan is a great passer while Dixon is an outstanding athlete that can scramble to extend the play. Whispers here and there indicate that Bruce might have a slight edge due to the currently used spread style offense. Other candidates for offensive starting jobs include Jon Marc Carrier and Houston Brown for the top wideout positions. Defensively, the Big Green brings back outside linebacker Flo Orimalade who led the team with eight sacks last season, and who is already one of the top players in Division 1-AA. However nearly every other position is up for grabs with the departure of stars such as defensive tackle A.J. Zuttah, corners Vernon Harris (now a Kansas City Chief) and Chai Reese, mike linebacker Will McNamara, and safeties David Caldwell and Troy Donahue. On the line, a player to look out for is defensive lineman Rocco Di Leo (’18) who played in all 10 games last year. Jeremiah Douchee (’17) also hopes to win a starting job after overcoming injuries in previous years. Joining Flo in the linebacking core could be seniors Alex McCrory and Brian Fordon, who both saw some playing time last season. Brock Bacon (’18) is also working hard to overcome a back injury that sidelined him in 2015. In the secondary, Colin Boit looks to be the favorite to win the free safety job while Danny McManus aims to be one of the starting corners. The players understand the difficult task ahead. Replacing all the talent from last

year will not be easy. The first big test will be in week one against the University of New Hampshire. This same team handed the Big Green a 52-19 loss in 2014. This will allow Coach Teevens to gauge the potential of his 2016 squad.

Obviously these speculations won’t come to fruition until fall camp commences and the football is kicked off on Saturday September 17th at 7pm in Memorial Field.

DARTMOUTH DISRESPECTS PASSING OF ELLIE WEISEL On Thursday, April 7, the brothers of Kappa AlphIt is no secret that Dartmouth has allowed anti-Israel sentiments to fester on campus. The recent invitation of Jasbir Puar, a professor at Rutgers University who has drawn heavy criticism for making seemingly anti-Semitic remarks, only goes to show the extent to which Dartmouth harbors such views.

Dartmouth’s reaction to the passing of lauded humanitarian and Nobel Laureate Elie Wiesel illustrates yet another misstep by the College in addressing issues of anti-Semitism and anti-Israel rhetoric. In the wake of Mr. Wiesel’s passing, the College only highlighted a single article – “Postscript: Elie Wiesel, 1928-2016” which was published in The New Yorker on July 4th by visiting Government professor Bernard Avishai.

The article offers surface-level praise of the Nobel laureate before devolving into an attack on Wiesel’s perceived disregard for the Palestinian people. In his article, Professor Avishai criticizes the New York Times for failing to address the Palestinian people in its obituary for the great humanitarian and Jewish activist. It is wrong to assume that every discussion of modern Judaism and Jewish identity requires an analysis of the Israel-Palestine conflict, not to mention a remembrance of one of the greatest voices for oppressed peoples around the world. While Elie Wiesel did contribute to the discussion about Palestine, it is unbelievably disrespectful to reduce his legacy to his position on Israel-Palestine relations.

Furthermore, it is highly inappropriate that in the wake of Mr. Wiesel’s passing, while his family and the world mourn, Dartmouth chose to only make critical comments. Of course every viewpoint must be heard, and it is important to have free and open discussion, especially on controversial subjects. But there is a time and place for such discussion, and the week of Mr. Wiesel’s passing is certainly not the time nor the place. If the college continues to espouse these views in the future, it should do a

better job of picking its spots.

BAKER BERRY TOWER RESTORATION The Baker Bell Tower, sitting atop the library, is undergoing a four month long renovation. This is the first time that the Bell tower has needed major repairs, even though it has been in use since 1928. It has proven to be extremely durable. The inside of Baker Library will also be updated, as the historic Tower Room will be retrofitted to include modern amenities such as USB ports at every seat. In addition, modern lighting will be added to the space, as the room can get quite dark. The Dartmouth College Library’s version of a Harry Potter room will get a modern twist.

The tower itself will receive many improvements. It will gain a modern control system for the clock and bells, a new copper roof, and a new weathervane. The tower will also receive new outdoor lighting to highlight its beauty.

This should allow the tower to function in all its glory for another century—continuing to be an integral piece of Dartmouth’s campus.

Work on the tower is expected to finish by the end of October, as the bells are still in great shape. Rusted bolts need to be replaced, along with antiquated striking mechanisms. The project is timed perfectly, because while the tower needs improvements, it is not past the point of repair. The tower can be quickly updated and put back into use. The Tower Room will be completed by the end of September, and tours of the new and improved Bell Tower are expected to commence at the end of October.

DARTMOUTH AT RIO: RECAP The Rio Olympics are coming to a close, and the eight Dartmouth alumni that competed have already completed their events. Let’s take a look back at these athletes’ experiences at the Games and how each Dartmouth alum performed.

One of the dominant storylines leading up to the events in Rio was the return of rugby football to the Olympic olymp. Although not considered a traditional rugby powerhouse, the USA Sevens team featured a host of exceptional athletes including the unfathomably explosive Per-

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The Dartmouth Review

Monday – August 22, 2016

Joshua D. Kotran Ashwath M. Srikanth ry Baker and New England Patriots safety Nate Ebner. The team is also captained by this season’s scoring leader on the rugby sevens circuit, recent Dartmouth alum Madison Hughes ‘15. Tasked with arguably the most difficult group in pool play, the US faced what was essentially a must-win in its first game of the tournament against rugby power Argentina. The game started off poorly for the Americans, who were unable to break through the Argentinian line, and surrendered two tries before having any chance at a score. On the first of those tries, Hughes suffered a major collision as he tried to bring down Argentina’s Axel Muller before the end line. It was a valiant effort, but Hughes never had much of a chance of stopping the hulking Muller. In the second half, the Americans’ luck changed as they were awarded a penalty try for a high-tackle call on Argentina, which Hughes converted.

After two Argentinian yellow cards in rapid succession, the US found themselves in a seven on five situation with a solid amount of time to get back in the game. After a long buildup, Garett Bender scored a try to put the US up by 2. With less than 30 seconds remaining on the clock, the US appeared to have the game in the bag. In rugby, however, time doesn’t expire until there is a change of possession. As the clock struck zero, Argentina still had the ball. The game looked to be over at multiple times during the possession, but Argentina’s ball carriers continued to miraculously evade the arms of America’s tacklers until they found the in-goal area for the winning try. It was a devastating defeat.

Fortunately, the United States’ luck changed when, later that day, the U.S. pummeled the weakest team in their pool, Brazil, by a score of 26-0. They entered the final day of pool play desperately needing a win against Fiji, the best team in the tournament. The US fought hard, played well, and had more than a chance at victory throughout most of the game, but ultimately fell to the eventual gold medal winners, 14-19. Some consolation came during the next two days, as the U.S. won their last two matches in the loser’s bracket to take ninth overall in the competition.

In the end, Hughes and his teammates will likely be disappointed with their performance at the Olympics. However, the team’s competitive efforts proved that despite the lack of rugby infrastructure in the United States, the US is more than ready to compete on the international stage.

Before the Olympics, a handful of articles covered Evelyn Stevens’ (’05) unlikely path to the pinnacle of professional cycling. After graduation, Stevens embarked on a path similar to that of many Dartmouth alumni, choosing to work for Lehman Brothers. During her two grueling years at Lehman, Stevens developed a passion for cycling, and eventually chose to pursue the sport full-time. Stevens quickly found herself amongst the top cyclists in the world, and finished 10th and 12th in her two events at Rio. Distance runner Alexi Pappas ’12 competed in the 10,000 meter run, choosing to represent her father’s native Greece, of which she is a dual citizen. In a race that featured Ethiopia’s Almaz Ayana’s stunning world record performance, Pappas finished seventeenth with a time of 31:36.

Sean Furey ’04, competing in his second Olympics, finished 35th in the javelin throw with a distance of 72.61 meters.

Dong-Seon Kim ’12, who was scheduled to compete in the Equestrian event known as “dressage”, chose to return home in the middle of competition after the passing of his grandmother. He was South Korea’s lone representative in the sport.

After winning the U.S. Olympic trials in the lightweight double sculls this past April, Jack Konieczney ’13 had a quality start to the Olympics, passing through the preliminary heats and semifinal rounds with ease. In the finals, Konieczney and his partner narrowly missed out on a medal, placing fifth with a time of 6:35, less than four seconds behind the third place Norwegians. Anthony Fahden ’08, the other Dartmouth alumnus representing the U.S. in rowing, narrowly missed the podium with a fourth place finish in the men’s coxless lightweight fours.

Distance runner Abbey D’Agostino ’14 had long been thought by many in the Dartmouth community to be a future Olympian, a prediction that came true this June, at the U.S. Olympic trials. Although Abbey finished fifth in the 5000m final at the event, she was able to qualify

after USA teammates Molly Huddle and Shalane Flanagan dropped out to focus on the 10000m race. On August 16th, Abbey finally took to the track at the Olympic Games, stepping to the line in the first of two rounds in the 5000 meter.

For the first two-thirds of the race, Abbey sat near the back of the large leading pack, in solid position to move up towards the leaders when the pace would inevitably quicken and the race would break open. However, at roughly 3200 meters, tragedy struck as Abbey caught the leg of another competitor bringing both of them down.

The other runner, New Zealand’s Nikki Hamblin, sat dismayed and confused on the track when she felt a foreign hand on her shoulder. It was Abbey, urging her fellow Olympian to get up by saying “we have to finish this race”. The time lost in the collision, however, was to be the least of Abbey’s worries, as her knee was clearly injured in the fall, badly bruised and out of place. Still, Abbey was able to finish the race in a time of 17:10, which is roughly two minutes off of her personal best, but an impressive mark given the circumstances. After the race, Abbey and Hamblin shared a passionate embrace in what will surely become one of the most iconic images of the Games.

D’Agostino’s inspiring deed serves as a sign of hope for humanity, particularly after an Egyptian Judoka refused to shake his Israeli opponent’s hand after losing in the first round of the tournament.

Minutes after the race, Abbey was notified she had qualified for the final after the U.S. protested the collision.

Unfortunately, MRIs later showed that D’Agostino suffered a torn ACL, a strained MCL, and a torn meniscus, leaving her unable to compete in the finals on Friday.

5

Harrison M. Maidman Peter D. Vo

While her actions on Tuesday have lifted her into the international spotlight in an unlikely fashion, this injury will be a major setback for Abbey, who has constantly battled injuries during her short professional career, despite achieving moderate success. However, if her gutsy finish to this race was any indication, D’Agostino looks sure to bounce back once again. One shouldn’t be surprised to see her in next year’s World Championships or at the next Olympic Games in Tokyo. We at The Review wish Abbey a speedy recovery and are confident that her already incredible career is only just beginning.

CARTOON

“I bet we coul’ve won a medal in Rio.”

CARTOON

“Can you believe we’re paying $70k a year for this poppycock?”

6 Monday – August 22, 2016

The Dartmouth Review

FEATURES

A Brief History of Sophomore Summer: The S > CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 In 1975, Summer Carnival opened on Friday afternoon with a homemade raft race down the Connecticut River. All the proceeds of Saturday afternoon’s fair were earmarked for the Upper Valley United Way and an open air dance with Brahmin, a combination rock/funk/pop band, was held at the Murdough Center. The weekend was touched by controversy, however, surrounding the John Kemeny auctioneered “Buy a Girl Sale.” Feminist protesters condemned the fundraiser, at which services such as cutting hair or preparing a meal were sold to the highest bidder.

The next year, local artisans sold their handiwork next to the gaming booths, and a Frisbee competition was added to the list of athletic events. Occum Pond became the site for the first annual foot race. Saturday night musical entertainment was provided by the Dartmouth Aires and Distractions, Dartmouth Gospel Choir, a jazz band, and Dartmouth’s Madrigal Singers.

The weekend ended with a band hosted by Zeta Psi for an outdoors Fraternity Row party. All of the proceeds of the 1977 Summer Carnival went to the Hanover Day Care Center and the Lebanon Children’s Center. For the first time, Thayer Dining Hall closed its doors on Friday night to serve meals riverside. As the handmade rafts floated down the Connecticut, wandering minstrels entertained the diners.

Saturday afternoon’s carnival saw the redesignation of the dunking booth victims from deans to professors and the birth of the notorious Pie Throwing Service, which, for a price, hit unsuspecting carnival-goers with whipped cream pies.

The headlining musical attraction of the weekend was a concert given

by Blood, Sweat, and Tears.

The Carnival of 1978 added a triathlon of swimming, running, and canoeing sections, and the following summer a mixed doubles tennis tournament, the Karen Blank (then Dean of Freshmen) Golf Tournament, and the Three Mile Island Mini Marathon were also created. Also in 1979, a semiformal swing band dance was held at Collis during which Midnight Munchies were offered on the steps of College Hall.

The 1980 Summer Carnival was marred with criminal assault charges filed by one student against another as a result of the Pie in the Face Service. Two Fun Runs of 5 miles and 1 1/2 miles were organized, and four bands performed over the course of three days. The following year a weekend trip for two to Montreal was raffled off, and a hot air balloon ride complimented the list of attractions.

McDonald’s and Burger King both supplied food for the Carnival on the Green, which boasted the new Sigma Alpha Epsilon Golf for Goldfish booth (either take

your goldfish prize home or have a brother swallow it). One student filed a cruelty to fish complaint against SAE, and Review founder Keeney Jones joined President McLaughlin in the water below the dunking booth. The theme for the 1982 Summer Carnival was “Up to Par on the Green” featuring the film Caddyshack, country club croquet on Tuck Mall, and the “Zonker Harris Tanning Contest.”

Theme remained important to the Carnival of 1983, which celebrated the Roaring ‘20s with a Monte Carlo Speakeasy in which gamers could play blackjack, roulette, and craps while being serenaded by a rag time pianist and a barbershop quartet. A new “Superstars” athletic competition was introduced which included an obstacle course, an inner tube roll, and an egg toss.

The two new attractions of 1984’s summer’s carnival were a 250foot long ice cream sundae in the shape of the Olympic rings, and the dumping of tons of sand on Webster Avenue to create a 50-foot strip of “beach” for the outdoor party.

Last summer’s carnival continued the tradition of varied athletic events, gaming booths, musical guests, and outdoor entertainment of the preceding summers. The Dartmouth Summer Carnival of 1986 promises to bring more of the same revelry, rivalry, and old-fashioned summer time fun.

Back in My Day….

While there are many less-thanperfect aspects of sophomore summer, students of today have it better on at least some accounts.

And although the dining hall and gym hours are typically cut short, this summer has been particularly depriving because Thayer Dining Hall is closed for renovations. It has become such a concern that signs have been placed at Thayer, the Hop, and Novack labeled “Where can I eat this summer?” In addition, campers have swarmed Dartmouth, occupying the ideal dormitories while some sophomores are forced to walk the long trip from the River Cluster. The number of courses offered has decreased while class sizes have surged. Meanwhile, the heat of summer has been so unbearable that Dartmouth announced cots would be setup in air-conditioned rooms near Novack.

Back in 2010, some students were bitter about “old traditions failing.”

With some slight factual inaccuracies, they express themselves bellow: Summer has changed in many ways since the early 1970s when the Dartmouth Plan (D-Plan) was instituted. For one, the Dartmouth Indian is no longer seen on neckties or uniforms. Pictures illustrating Eleazar Wheelock founding the College and teaching Dartmouth’s first Indian students have been removed. The Dartmouth songs that were once yelled to the beat of a loud drum are no longer heard

because of direct and indirect references to Dartmouth’s first Indian students. As you may well know, the mascot was removed because it was thought to have offended some Indians who attended the College.

But if you stand on the steps of Dartmouth Hall and look up at the top of Baker Tower, an unbeaten weather vane still stands at the top of the spire portraying Eleazar Wheelock and Big Chief Occum at the founding of Dartmouth College. This sculpture reminds students of Dartmouth’s roots as well as the administration’s failed attempt of modernizing away the great heritage of this institution.

The Dartmouth Indian is not the only tradition to be nixed…

TubeFieldstock The (in)famous Tubestock is now long-gone, killed not by the College administration (for once) but by the Town of Hanover.

More recently, the tradition of Tubestock was cancelled in 2006 after the Town of Hanover passed new legislation. Julia Griffin, town manager of Hanover, wrote, “Tubestock is a dangerous event, mixing large number of participants and ‘rafts’ with of age and underage alcohol consumption. It puts Dartmouth students, Dartmouth itself, the State of New Hampshire, the Town of Norwich and the Town of Hanover at substantial risk.” Tubestock was over despite the diehard attempts of student committees not to “let the old traditions fail.” To replace Tubestock, sophomore students organized Fieldstock to compete in “human-powered chariot races” across the Green. The event is held the second week of August and is quickly becoming a new tradition.

This year 42 teams have entered the epic contest and have their eyes fixed on the prize of being dubbed Dartmouth’s finest. Academics will temporarily take the back seat to a determined band of competitors seeking ultimate glory.

[Tubestock was an event] in which students would build wooden rafts and use rubber inner tubes to float down the Connecticut River. The town of Hanover required that any event on the Connecticut River must have a permit, making it illegal for students to hang out there for a sponsored event. Creative, innovative students did not let this ruin their class bonding time, so the Class of 2008 came up with an alternative solution: Fieldstock.

Conan O’Brien put it best when he said at Commencement: “Under ‘The Conan Doctrine,’ I will re-instate Tubestock. And I will punish those who tried to replace it with Fieldstock. Rafting and beer are a much better combination than a field and a beer. I happen to know that in two years, they are going to downgrade Fieldstock to Deskstock, seven hours of fun sitting quietly at your desk. Don’t let those bastards do it.”

As Mr. O’Brien so eloquently suggested, water has always been a fix-

ture of Sophomore Summer….

Down by the Old [Connecticut] River If water has been a highlight of most students’ Sophomore Summers, than trying to prevent students from being in it has been a fixture of the Administration’s summers. The College currently forbids aqueous activities except for those that take place from a small swimming dock with a roped off swimming area on the river with limited hours and lifeguards.

This was not always the case: aside from the excesses of Tubestock, Dartmouth students were formerly permitted to jump from the Ledyard Bridge and use a swimming dock in the Connecticut River at their leisure. That is, until: Enter April Thompson. After less than two months in her new position of associate Dean of the College for Campus Life, Dean Thompson informed the campus of a decision that would change the community forever: an unidentified “we” made the choice to close the river dock and ban swimming at the College. The message, entitled “Summer Updates,” described dining options available this summer and offered Thompson’s hope that sophomores were ready to get back into summer recreation.

Then, the bombshell: “For safety reasons, the Connecticut River swim docks will be closed. A recent safety review identified a range of concerns that led us to conclude that the swimming area at the River cannot be safely maintained. The water at the swim dock is 18 feet deep and drops off rapidly to 25 feet. The depth, combined with the murky water and extremely poor visibility makes it difficult or impossible for lifeguards to see anything or anyone below the surface. In addition, the current in the River varies rapidly because of unscheduled drawdowns through the dam a couple of miles downstream and there is often submerged debris that swimmers may not be able to see prior to entering the water.”

Students were outraged: What type of perverse system were we living in where Safety and Security officers would start patrolling the once-loved waters and students would be forced to risk injury and punishment by swimming in other unknown areas? Was this the end of a tradition dating as far back as John Wheelock?

In a half-hearted attempt to make up for this crime: Many thought sophomore summer as they knew it was finished, but thankfully Dean Thompson had an alternative.

The Dartmouth Review

Monday – August 22, 2016

7

Story of Traditions Past, but Not Forgotten

“As one alternative, students enrolled this summer will have FREE use of Storrs Pond… As many of you may know, the Storrs Pond Recreation Area, operated by the Hanover Improvement Society, is located only minutes from campus next to the College’s Oak Hill recreation area. The Area features scenic woodlands, a manmade 13-acre pond and two sandy swimming beaches, a heated swimming pool, tennis courts, a basketball court, a beach volleyball court and picnic areas. The beach at Storrs Pond is open sunrise to sunset. The pool is open daily from noon to 7 pm. Campsites are also available, and student use of Storrs Pond facilities may include use of one of the picnic pavilion areas by the pond for class events.”

Storrs Pond, famous for birthday parties until children reach ten, proved to be a difficult option for Dartmouth students looking for a place to beat the heat. The pond is 3.5 miles away from the Ledyard Canoe Club and it takes about one hour to walk there from campus.

Luckily, a transportation system has been created to bring students from Collis to Storrs Pond every thirty minutes on Saturday and Sunday from 12-5. No word yet from student environmental groups on the carbon footprint these buses are leaving in the Up-

per Valley.

The students were not to be appeased, and the fight was far from over: Travis Blalock ‘12, a straighttalking advocate for truth, freedom, and the breaststroke, decided to take the fight to open the docks to the biggest place on Earth: Facebook. On June 26, just three days after the message from Dean Thompson, Blalock started what he describes as a “movement for social justice… a coalition for the truth.” The simple Facebook group has now attracted more than 720 current students, alumni, and random members Blalock shrewdly calls “friends of the College”. With over 30 comments as of press time, alumni and students have shared fond memories of the river docks and their disapproval at the current policy.

On June 28, Blalock sent an open letter to Dean Thompson with three requests: “First, your e-mail noted a ‘safety review’ had been conducted that concluded that ‘the swimming area at the River cannot be safely maintained.’ We challenge you to release this review and documentation detailing its creation, along with a list of safety experts consulted, to the public so it can be scrutinized and students can become better informed of the dangers around us.

Second, we would like you or a representative of this decision to engage in a public debate at a time and location most convenient for you. There is no better way to foster discussion and learning than allowing debate on an important issue.

Finally, we ask you to allow for an independent investigation into the safety of the river, and open the docks pending the results of such study. Dartmouth researchers are among the greatest in the world and can surely come to an unbiased decision.”

Blalock received no response from Dean Thompson and according to a Facebook message sent to group members by Blalock, “Some have said the administration is afraid, others have said they know they’ll lose. But for me, it’s not about fear or victory, I just want the truth.”

Thompson may not have responded, but the movement drew the attention of local media. Jim Kenyon of the Valley News wrote an article on July 11 entitled “Dry Docks”, in which he highlighted the absurdity of the new policy and suggested the administration’s next step may be to force students to wear helmets while walking across the green in fears of a meteor shower. Likewise, The Daily Dartmouth has quoted Blalock, DarTV interviewed him for a featured story, and Dartblog highlighted his “Kennedyesque rhetorical brio.”

As the battle for the River unfolded, tactics intensified.

Blalock saw an opportunity when, on July 9, President Kim announced to campus that “we are launching a major initiative for a Presidential Lecture Series to take place each summer” and that Michael Bloomberg, New York City mayor, would deliver the inaugural address. Additionally, free Boloco vouchers would be offered to make the afternoon spicier. Save the River Dock founder Blalock would soon give the administration another reason to soil their pants. Following in the footsteps of many Dartmouth students before him, Blalock organized “A Peaceful Assembly to Save the River” and wrote that the protest would “coincide with the start of the ‘Presidential Lecture Series.’ We will not allow this administration to stonewall us anymore.” Blalock told The Review that several members of the coalition were eager to participate in this movement and he had heard from alumni who were planning to drive to campus from all over the region to join the protest. What happened next is a political maneuver of the sort more associated with Chicago than with Hanover.

A member of the class council, who Blalock declined to name in fears that “he was a pawn sent to do a king’s job,” contacted him and encouraged him to cancel the assembly. This assembly would both embarrass the College and force them to respond to the student body on how this decision was made. The member described

the creation of a task force to study swimming options and the possibility of opening the docks in the future. He told Blalock the administration wanted him to join the task force and holding the assembly would only hurt their chances of working together. In an act of good faith, Blalock cancelled the protest and sent a message to his Facebook group entitled “Victory Is Near.” In his speech, Mayor Bloomberg poked fun at the current situation shortly after boasting the first movie he downloaded on his iPad was Animal House.

“Now, I do realize that Bluto didn’t really go to Dartmouth, but knowing that I was coming to the campus that inspired one of my all-time favorite movies really was pretty exciting. And of course I look forward to eating a meal at Homeplate and taking a dip in the Connecticut River but it looks like those two options are out. Sorry about that. College today is very different than when I went to college.”

In an effort to make a serious situation into a further joke, President Kim summarized Bloomberg’s points by saying, “So in closing, Mayor Bloomberg, you’ve told our students that they should party a lot, [and] swim in the Connecticut…” At least someone saw the absurdity of the situation, but how could the College justify an unsubstantiated decision that strips an age-old Dartmouth tradition from $50,000/year paying students?

Create a task force!

Then, in the time-honored Dartmouth tradition of solving problems created by the bureaucracy by creating more bureaucracy, the administration did just that.

This was a job for Acting Dean of the College, Dr. Sylvia Spears PhD. Shortly after Mayor Bloomberg’s lecture, Dean Spears sent a message to the student body to update them on swimming options, also signed by the Student Assembly president, the 2012 class council president and the vice president, and Dean Thompson. Spears wrote: “As you may already be aware, students and the Administration have been working together to develop and review proposals for the safe use of the waterfront. The Administration has reviewed the recommendations received to date and has concluded that we do not have viable alternatives that can be implemented this summer…

None of us are happy with the current situation. We are committed to working together to find a safe and fun alternative for the summer.

We will be working with Student Assembly to form a Task Force to explore longer term options for use of the College controlled areas of the waterfront. It will be very important that the Task Force members represent the breadth of the student community. In addition, College staff and faculty with particular areas of expertise will be asked to assist…”

Apparently victory could not be farther away and one week after

the decision was made public, Blalock has still not been contacted about a spot on the task force.

One may think that bottlenecking the movement for over a month would put it to rest and the Dartmouth community would move on with acceptance, like so many other modifications of the oncegreat Dartmouth experience. This won’t stand for some professors who refuse to accept theory and have instead opted for something this administration fears: the facts.

While efforts that tragic summer proved unsuccessful, Dartmouth eventually agreed upon the current unfortunate situation, in which students’ tuition dollars would go towards the salaries of numerous lifeguards with slim hours. This proved that a focus group and some else’s money will fix any College problem.

Reverend Koop Remembers Dartmouth Summers Reverend Norman Koop, the pastor of the non-denominational First Congregational Church of Woodstock, Vermont, belongs to a family that bleeds Dartmouth Green and selflessly fulfills their calling to mentor young men and women on this campus. His brother, Professor Allen Koop, is a loved history prof, and his father, Dr. Charles Everett Koop, graduated from Dartmouth in 1937 and went on to become the thirteenth Surgeon General of the United States under President Ronald Reagan.

This family has been experiencing Dartmouth summers since before World War II. Pastor Norman holds weekly Bible studies with Dartmouth students and members of the Dartmouth community during non-summer terms, and during the summer, he graciously invites all of the students on campus over to his lake house providing one of the most sun and fun filled days of the term. The relationships he develops during the year allow him to share his blessings with any Dartmouth sophomore interested.

He was nice enough to talk with me and share some of knowledge about the summers. Pastor Norman acknowledged that his favorite part of the summer is being able to open up his home on “lake day”. He expressed how students in the past have shared with him that the summer term is their most intimate time in nurturing their relationship with Jesus Christ. Perhaps it has to do with the smaller crowds, or maybe it is the sense of wonderment that comes from taking in the natural beauty of Hanover during the summer term.

Whatever the case may be, Dartmouth students use the summer months to grow in their beliefs in a way that other terms have failed to meet.

With all of its changes, trials, and tribulations, Sophomore Summer at Dartmouth College has proved to be instrumental in the academic and personal development of stude nts.

8 Monday – August 22, 2016

The Dartmouth Review

FEATURES

#Orlando Syllabus: Blame it on Phallogocentrism Sandor Farkas

Editor-in-Chief Emeritus Dartmouth professor and queer theorist Eng-Beng Lim recently published an article titled “The #Orlando Syllabus” that describes a class centered around the evils of firearm ownership, Islamophobia, masculinity, and the American right. Published on a website dedicated to “Bully Bloggers,” Lim posted the syllabus without comment, but it was later confirmed in a College press release that he is teaching the course this summer.

The document, which can be viewed in its entirety here, includes a list of weekly readings for a course on the recent, tragic terrorist attack on a gay nightclub in Orlando. The proposed title of the course, “#Orlando,” is similar to a recent Dartmouth course entitled “#BlackLivesMatter,” which presumably touched upon similar themes. The weekly topics, listed below, do not include any analysis or even mention of radical Islamic terrorism in the United States or elsewhere: The biggest takeaway for any student taking such a course would presumably be that masculinity, guns, and the Republican Party are wagSandor Farkas is a member of the Class of 2017 and a former Editor-in-Chief of The Dartmouth Review.

TLDR: A Quick Synopsis Week 1 From Gender to Gun Performativity

rants, and accusations that firearms are phallic symbols.

This week serves as an introduction to a range of topics within queer theory, including the broad field of made-up vocabulary. The syllabus has at least five such words, including “phallogocentrism.”

Week 4 Getting Toxic and Terrifying

Week 2 Surviving Killabilities “Killabilities” appears to reference the material in this section that details “systematic” violence against queer people and other minorities.

Week 3 Laughing at Masculinist Rage, Corruption and Mass Shooting As its title implies, this week is primarily third-wave feminist literature, anti-conservative ing a systematic war against queer people and Muslims.

Lim mistakenly assumes all conservatives are members of the alt-right or Donald Trump supporters who have racist or homophobic tendencies.

He also seems to believe that America is some kind of quasi-imperial dictatorship run by everyone but a select group of minorities.

Dartmouth’s website describes Lim as an “Assistant Professor of Women’s, Gen-

This week hits all the core concepts of the class. It focuses on “toxic masculinity,” which it then associates with mass shootings, attacks “Islamophobia,” and rounds everything out by attacking the police.

Week 5 Empire, Trump If there was a wrong way to attack Trump, this week covers it. It then accuses America of being a fascist empire. Or something like that.

Week 6 Orlando

just short of ISIS apologia. Others focus on tangential topics to the exclusion of the event itself.

Week 7 Gun Phallocracy: Colonial and Capitalist Deadlocks Blame the guns. If that fails, blame the Republicans/NRA. This week looks like the Facebook feed of a Bernie Sanders supporter.

Week 8 Performance & Patriarchal Pathologies Presumably, the mix of topics presented under this heading constitute The Patriarchy.

Week 9 Queer nightlife: safety, joy, erasure and complacence

Many articles in this section, drawn largely from tabloids, fall

Two words: safe spaces.

der, and Sexuality Studies, and author of Brown Boys and Rice Queens: Spellbinding Performance in the Asias.” He has since been promoted to Associate Professor with tenure. The descriptions of his academic undertakings are so laden with buzzwords and queer theory jargon that they are nearly incomprehensible.

He also sits on the steering committee of GRID (Gender Research Institute at Dartmouth), which recently hosted

notorious anti-Semite Jasbir Puar. For those who have never heard of the emerging field of “queer studies,” it is a pseudo-academic field that uses post-structuralist theory to explore a range of topics from an ultra-progressive and often neo-Marxist perspective. Its overuse of meaningless rhetoric and made-up words render articles and books about it nearly unreadable, and many academics do not take it seriously. One faculty member,

in a discussion with a Review staffer, described Lim’s scholarship as “ideological hackery, pure and simple” but still expressed incredulity that he would design a course consisting of not much more than “a bunch of blog posts by partisans and ideologues.”

Bully Bloggers describes itself as a “queer word art group,” and the website consists of a small group of professors who write both intentionally and unintentionally ridiculous articles on a range of topics associated with queer theory. One section of the website sets forth a mock party platform, which includes such things as abolishing the Senate, marriage, all debt, and practically everything “oppressive.” Another section, titled “Freedom to Marry Our Pets Society Page,” includes presumably fictitious accounts of people in quasi-romantic relationships with their pets. While this section is likely meant to be provocative and not a genuine account of bestiality, its inclusion definitely sends a message.

What is more terrifying than the introduction of bestiality in serious discourse is the knowledge that the professors who maintain this site, Lim included, teach at our nation’s top academic institutions.

God help this nation as syllabi like Lim’s currently serve as reading lists for tomorrow’s leaders.

Making Music at Dartmouth College Warren I. Schorr Managing Editor

Dartmouth College loves its sports, its grand institutions, and its hallowed traditions. Unfortunately, music has never been amongst the loved. We are as far from the entertainment industry as we could possibly remove ourselves, yet there are still some brave souls who wish to make it big, or at least have a fun time trying.

Tomas LaPorta ’18 has found success playing shows on and off campus as “DJ Nomas,” alongside other student acts such as the cover band Shark. Tomas, who grew up playing piano and trumpet, recently began producing electronic music. Dartmouth’s Music Department has done much to help further his technical development. This past spring, Tomas took Sound Art Practice with Professor Ashley Fure, and during the summer, he has been doing an indeMr. Schorr is a member of the Class of 2018 and a Managing Editor of The Dartmouth Review.

pendent study in Production/Mixing with Grammy-Nominated Sound Engineer Sunny Nam. “The content in the each of the two terms has been very different, but I’ve had a great experience with both professors,” says LaPorta. He has also enjoyed seeing the occasional jazz groups that perform at the Hopkins Arts Center, such as the legendary Chick Corea Trio, that came to campus a few weeks ago.

Unfortunately, Tomas’ experience is not the norm, and many students have been disappointed by Dartmouth’s music culture. Charlotte Kamin ’18, who is a drummer for Dartmouth’s newest rock cover band, Point of Contention (often referred to as PoCo), notes that “Point of Contention is a ton of fun and has been the best musical outlet for me thus far, playing in frats and whatever […] but in terms of musical creativity and innovation and just me being a better musician, it is not the most ideal.” Kamin also commented on the lack of any real precedent for making original content on campus saying, “I

wish I could be writing stuff and playing things people have written and be more creative, but there’s not really an outlet for that. People aren’t really interested on this campus in hearing that, and it’s just not fun to play to a dead crowd.”

Kamin also expressed how difficult it was for her to get started. She played in the World Music Ensemble conducted by Hafiz Shabazz her freshman fall, but found the ensemble to be too superficial, and stopped. She then found it extremely difficult to start her own band after discovering that the music department would not help her or allow her to use their facilities.

The college simply refused to grant her access to instruments or a drum set, so after months of frustration she bought her own. She also discovered that Dartmouth’s music studio was more akin to a broom closet than a production space. The studio had minimal recording equipment, no technician, not enough space for instruments, and other deficits that the admissions office will surely continue

to hide from prospective students.

Joe Finkelstein, keyboardist for PoCo, had similar observations regarding the lack of a self-sustaining enthusiasm for new music on campus. “While I think [the college] does a good job in offering opportunities for people to play and take classes, I think that actually playing music is just not encouraged highly enough

among students.”

Dartmouth is a brilliantly artistic school, but outside of traditional bands and a capella groups, it can be hard to find a musical niche. It is great that Dartmouth offers high quality instruction in theory, but the College must do more for students exploring music outside of traditional academic settings.

CHI HEOROT Tomas playing a set during Green Key weekend.

The Dartmouth Review

Monday – August 22, 2016

9

FEATURES

Inequality of Opportunity at A Premium Harrison M. Maidman Associate Editor

Dartmouth is expensive. This is a fact that the entire student body of the college accepts, and one that the entire country understands.

A college education in the United States does not often come cheap, and Ivy League schools are far from an exception. According to the Dartmouth College website, the average cost of a term at Dartmouth College is $22,058.00, although the value of this education changes (typically increasing) from term to term.

While summer term costs the same amount as every other term—students get less bang for their buck.

The analysis begins with the class offerings at Dartmouth. In the the fall, winter, and spring, Dartmouth students have far more class options than they do in the summer. On its face, this is understandable due to the limited number of students on campus. That said, students pay the same amount of money each term and should be able to have the same choice in classes. It is becoming difficult for students to complete both their major and distributive requirements during summer term. This is a flaw that the college needs to address.

Limited course offerings have caused some students to have trouble with their D-plans. Matthew Goldstein (’18) even stated, “Because of the few class choices over the summer, I was nearly unable to take a computer science class, which would have really messed up the Mr. Maidman is a member of the Class of 2018 and an Associate Editor of The Dartmouth Review.

D-plan and course schedule I was prompted to very carefully piece together.” This is extremely troubling, and it shows one of the flaws of the sophomore summer schedule. Matthew had to fight to get into Computer Science 52. Had he not gotten into the class, he would have had to cancel his study abroad program this fall.

In addition, the limited number of offerings in each major and for each distributive requirement has caused class sizes to skyrocket. Nearly a quarter of the sophomores on campus are taking Astronomy 2/3, which has roughly 240 students, while over an eighth are taking Jewish Studies 11, which has an enrollment of 137.

Many humanities courses as well as a number of social science courses have around 50 students, severely limiting opportunities for class discussion and the ability for students to foster relationships with their professors.

Student meal plans at Dartmouth College are already flawed, but these flaws have become ever more evident. The least expensive on-campus meal plan costs $1,710—an already obscene number for the quality of food students receive—but it proves even more outrageous during the summer. Dartmouth Dining Service has only a limited number of its cafeterias open during summer term (and others with shortened hours), yet the meal plans it offers costs the same amount of money.

In a normal term Dartmouth Dining Service provides a wide range of food options. The Class of ’53 Commons, the Hop, Novack Café, and King Arthur Flour are open seven days per week. Collis is open only Monday through Friday.

These options dwindle considerably in the summer, as only the Class of ’53 Commons is reliably open every day of the week. The Hop is closed entirely, and both Kaf and Collis are open during the week. Novack’s hours are sporadic at best on the weekends, and it is hard for students to know when the café is open. This means that while students are paying the same amount of money for their food, they have significantly less options. Also—there is only one place to eat all meals on campus during the weekend. While some students can afford to eat meals off campus when they get tired of the Class of ’53 Common’s drab offerings, the students who cannot are faced with the unsettling reality that they are paying the same amount of money for significantly less food options.

An anonymous student even said “I am extremely disappointed with

DDS’ offerings in a normal term, but during summer term, I am flabbergasted that my parents are paying around $1700 dollars for the low quality of food that I am receiving”.

This sentiment can be felt all across campus, and it speaks to the disappointing nature of the food options at Dartmouth in the summer.

Another area where students have fewer options during the summer is housing. Only certain dorms are open, and the most modern dorms are not, with the college preferring to loan them out for the various programs and conferences it holds on campus during the summer. For example, Fahey and Mclane are closed but these are two of the few dorms with air conditioning. Topliff is open, and the building is extremely hot. This influences many students to live off campus during the summer, which can cost significantly

more than the already expensive college dorms.

In all, from a purely financial standpoint, students receive less from Dartmouth College during the summer than they do during other terms. This is a fundamental problem within the institution and it is one that needs to be addressed. Since sophomore summer is a requirement, the school should make sure that students do not feel as though they are getting ripped off. The twenty two thousand dollars that students spend on tuition per term is expensive enough. There are so many other things that students could be spending that money on, such as a new car, so it is in the College’s interest to make this money seem worthwhile for students. Dartmouth College provides students with less during the summer, and therefore tuition should be less for this term.

take an offhand comment from someone I know at your firm and make that into an inspiring statement that I’ll claim has driven my career search. I don’t really know this person all too well, but maybe I can signal to you that I have networking skills and an inside track at your firm. Two birds with one stone! After thirty minutes of indecision I tentatively decide on the later strategy – you’ll probably just skim over this section anyway – and move on to my “thesis”: I am an ideal fit for your firm because I have these three buzzword skills that are mostly just paraphrased from the job posting.

I developed the first of these skills at the mind-numbingly boring internship I forced myself into last summer instead of joining my family on vacation. I gave up two weeks on the balmy shores of Thailand. Golden beaches with sand so fine the grains melt into a single silken sheet. Vendors hawking exotic treats on bustling streets, against the backdrop of a vibrant Bangkok sunset. But I had the experience of a lifetime as a glorified unpaid secretary. The invaluable experience of answering phones and scheduling lunches taught me important stra-

tegic decision making skills that no other applicant could possibly have.

Every time I brought coffee for the team, I developed my interpersonal communications skills. Preventing hot droplets of coffee from splattering onto my white shirt helped me learn how to think on my feet. And of course, strategically taking my lunch break to maximize my time off taught me the most important skill of all: strong analytical ability.

If that isn’t enough to convince you that I am ideally suited to intern at your firm, let me direct your attention to the numerous on-campus LEADERSHIP activities I am involved with. Just in case you missed it, let me highlight that word LEADERSHIP for you one more time. I have applied for every officer position in every club I am mildly interested in so that my resume is filled with real-world applicable skills that I have developed.

Never mind that I don’t really enjoy half of those activities. If you want a quantitatively-inclined candidate, this humanities major will join every science club there is.

Furthermore, I’ve not only got the skills to work at your firm, I’m a genuinely caring global citizen.

I can tell your firm takes service

very seriously based on all of those photos of senior executives volunteering with disadvantaged kids from Harlem. I myself have a very healthy set of photos, but mine are with poor children from the Third World! It seems I’m even the best when it comes to volunteering. But I don’t rub it in anyone’s face, I’m just a well-rounded guy who has the perfect mix of hard and soft skills to be the ideal candidate for your firm.

After hearing your firm’s bland, generic recruiting presentation, I was convinced that it was the right

place for me. It has an inspiring mission of generating millions for shareholders, and the perfect corporate culture of working 120 hours a week for below-minimum wage pay (but we’re salaried, so it’s ok). After paying a quarter of a million dollars to study at one of the world’s most intellectually engaging universities, I have decided that I want nothing more than to experience such a fulfilling role as being a business analyst at your firm.

Thank you for your consideration.

Best, [name]

MCNUTT HALL Home of Dartmouth’s Admissions Office. If only we had known what lay in store...

TDR University: The Perfect Cover Letter

Richard Long

Contributing Writer Dear Recruiter, My name is [name], and I am beyond excited to be applying to the internship at your firm. I have a great interest in your firm’s specialty, and the carefully curated presentation of my life story in the next few paragraphs will clearly demonstrate that I am infinitely more qualified for and suited to this internship position than any of my fellow applicants.

I’ll break the ice by summarizing a wonderful positive experience I had with your firm in high school.

But it won’t be just what happened.

I will go to great lengths to twist this mundane experience into an incredibly enjoyable and unique event in my life that also somehow perfectly embodies the corporate values you hired a PR firm to write for you. But no, that’s too cheesy.

Someone has already thought of that, and the recruiter thought it was too contrived. So instead I’ll

Mr. Long is a student at the College and a contributing writer of The Dartmouth Review.

KIM JONG UN READS THE REVIEW

10 Monday – August 22, 2016

The Dartmouth Review

FEATURES

Dartmouth’s Golden Rule

Michael J. Perkins Managing Editor

Often in these articles, I touch on my affinity for words and names. I recall a post where I lambasted the “hover board” industry for its regrettable realization and attempted usurpation of one of the few novel concepts the human race can still take pleasure in anticipating. When man hurtles through space or improves the processing power of a microchip, the human psyche is excited. The achievement of futuristic milestones is a sacred mission, and naming is an artful process, not to be forced.

Needless to say, the “hover board” did not make history.

The topic of this article is neither the “hover board”—I should say, “hover bored”—nor the logophile narrator, but I would like to contrast this example with something more appropriately named: “The Golden Rule.”

I remember my father repeating the phrase to me, drilling it into my memory. He would say it with his palms facing me, arms nonchalantly shrugged.

It’s simple. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

He is not spiritual, my father, but he derives his every move from this perfect logical loop of religious origin.

Golden Rule. These two words deserve independent examination. Although I consider alternative paths hundreds of times a day, for the time being, I study Economics, and my courses have formally introduced me to that inanimate, obscenely influential substance. One quotation, in particular, illustrated for me the absurd degree of man’s perplexing attraction to gold. Although the beauty of the specific phrasing has been Mr. Perkins is sophomore at the College and a Managing Editor of The Dartmouth Review.

lost in the thicket of authorial pontification, it pertained to the accumulation of gold in French and American banks prior to the Great Depression.

After sparing no expense extracting the element from its natural origin, gold is returned into the ground, gone from man’s sight and touch. Gold’s tentacles are ingrained so deeply in the fabric of society that its value is untethered from its feel and gleam. Gold symbolizes perfection.

Rules are for children. This may be an adolescent viewpoint, but it is necessary in explaining the seemingly circuitous ramblings you’ve endured up until now. One who enforces the rules is a stickler. One who values rules over people is a bureaucrat. I loathe bureaucracy and find stickling unacceptable.

However, some rules deserve a champion to save them from flouting. So rather than wagging a condescending finger at the culpable parties, I pound my fist on my chest as I, finally, turn to the topic at hand.

I emphasize that Dartmouth students, usually, behave ethically and do the right thing.

However, in my two years in Hanover, I have observed a habitual disregard and even twisted perversion of this sacred law. The frigid New Hampshire Winter necessitates layering up before enjoying the Greek Life, and jacket thievery is so prevalent that it’s laughable.

Ask any student and they will freely admit to having had jackets stolen from them. They may begin to count the number of items taken, often requiring intensive sifting through hazy memories. They will describe the items they had in their pockets—keys and IDs, typically—and the distinctive features of their specific coat. Few will admit to being the pilferer, but their hostilities toward the thief now wearing their jacket are

SIGMA PHI EPSILON Where many a fracket has been stolen. blunted, almost with a humanitarian or altruistic flavor, as they sympathize with the thief, who probably lost his jacket at the hands of a similar perpetrator. Then the student will teach you the term “fracket.”

Fracket (n) A cheap jacket you don’t mind getting stolen at a Fraternity party.

Beyond the biased accounts delivered by “victimized” students and this solitary term, “fracket,” the nightly snagging of clothing leaves almost no trace of its existence. However, while the arranged system is essentially innocuous—and, I postulate, redistributing the wealth of Dartmouth’s students more equally—there is something glaringly, undeniably discomforting about the habitual misbehavior.

It’s Dartmouth’s Golden Sh*t Rule: Do unto others as others do unto you. Even if stu-

dents enter Dartmouth with a well-calibrated moral compass (a big if ), this systematic perversion of the Golden Rule forces students to engage in the thievery or else brave the Hanover Winter nights jacketless.

While I claim no perfect solution to the widespread larceny, I observe Dartmouth student’s obsession with categorization and labels as a potential source of the plunge in Dartmouth’s typically high ethical bar. The student body seems to have an understanding of Greek Life, perhaps derived from anecdotal stories and perhaps from mainstream media portrayals like Animal House, as a space in which moral standards decline.

Being a member of Chi Heorot Fraternity on campus myself, Dartmouth President Phil Hanlon’s attempted dissolution of a fundamental tenet of the American college experience terrifies

me; I consider the loss of camaraderie and shared experience that would be the immediate result. Hanlon has made it clear that even a consensus of the student body will not stay his swift gavel. And why should it?

Students will gripe and whine about the unfair confiscation of their Greek Houses, but if Greek Life is a source of moral degradation, Hanlon is wise in excising this festering boil from the Dartmouth body. The obvious source of this moral confusion is hazing, which is conceptually consistent with Dartmouth’s Golden Sh*t Rule, foisting your ordeal onto the incoming class in a form of ritualistic bonding.

Hazing, however, has survived the test of time, and will not, indeed cannot be extinguished through legislative action and formal de-recognition, or even the complete abolition of fraternities.

“THE 11TH COMMANDMENT: HYDRATE THYSELF, FOR SOON WINE TOO WILL BE BANNED”

The Dartmouth Review

Monday – August 22, 2016 11

REVIEW REVIEWS

A Very Worthy Kitchen Norman Boringstein Pip Epiphany Gil Hanlon Chet Danger Williams

Staff Writers

Hanover has its fair share of fine (and mediocre) cuisine, but at times, the limited ‘carte du jour’ of local food can become monotonous for those with a more refined palette. In search of the perfect meal, our brave heroes set out into the land of high taxes, zero Republicans, and approximately 0.1 inhabitants per square mile -- the Green Mountain state of Vermont. Be advised, this journey is not for the faint of heart. The authors of this article are professional explorers with advanced degrees from institutions such as the Christopher Columbus School of Colonial Genocide, the Lewis & Clark Institute for Travel in the Middle of Nowhere, and the Inge-Lise Ameer School of Social Justice.

Gil Hanlon, the charismatic, interesting, athletic, and clean shaven-brother of Phil, probably doesn’t have an advanced degree, but he is also a world class masters MMA Fighter. With eyes in the back of his head and faster reflexes than Bruce Lee, Gil serves as the group’s muscle. At the opposite end of the spectrum lies Norman Boringstein, an administrator from the University of Northwest Iowa in town for the NCFCOAL, or the National Conference for Conference Organization, Administration, and Leadership. NCFCOAL Veterans call the event the COC, or Conference of Conferences, for short. COC attendees go through intensive five-hour days of unending working groups, team-building activities, focus groups, and all-important action committees.

Gil eyed Norman suspiciously, “Who joins a group anyways?

I’ve only joined one group, and that’s the group to end all groups.”

Tired out from his third day of the five day program, Norm ventures into town for a vodka-water. He entered his grey Toyota Camry and drove two miles below the speed limit, slowing down for yellow lights and avoiding eye contact with neighboring vehicles.

Unknown to these adventurers, they had turned into dangerous territory. Gil’s nose twitched in the air. His breath grew shallow, and his eyes narrowed. Norm’s typically consisMessrs. Epiphany, Hanlon, Boringstein, and Williams are students at the College, restaurant aficionados, and contributing writers to The Dartmouth Review.

tent heartbeat quickened ever so slightly.

“Hippies,” Gil exhaled tensely.

Be careful, these guys could be dangerous, warned Gil. “Danger is my middle name” retorts Chet Danger Williams, who needs to make sure he never uses that pun again if he doesn’t want a handle of cheap vodka forcibly funnelled down his throat while listening to “wake me up before you go-go” at max volume on repeat and a bright light is pointed directly at his eyes (NOTE: The Dartmouth Review does not condone hazing in any form, even for horrible, overused jokes such as this one).

The week leading up to Pip’s fateful travel to worthy kitchen can be described, at best, as haphazard and at worst, a Lemony Snicket novel. The sequence of unhappy incidents left Pip unscathed, but shifted the consequences onto those whom Pip holds dearest. Although the specifics of each accident—yes, accidents, although Pip’s oafishness plays a spotlight role in the unfoldings—have been sifted and discussed repeatedly; both the resultant grisly wounds and the curious details leading to the injuries demanded a repeated examination of the incidents.

While these details will not be printed here, the previous week’s melancholy disturbances afflicted Pip’s mindset as he turned his attention to Worthy Kitchen.

Pip opened the Worthy Kitchen door gently. He exchanged pleasantries with the merging party over his shoulder. As he set foot in the quaintly furnished kitchen, with an ambiance sitting comfortably on the fence between a diner and a rustic inn, the Maître D’ searched a cabinet above the door. The swinging panel caught her above the lip, just avoiding her upturned nose and thick glasses. The flustered hostess stumbled backwards, knocked by the blow, but quickly gathering herself and returning to poised professionalism.

“Welcome to Worthy Kitchen!

Please seat yourself.” She motioned, waving us into the bustling kitchen. Her enthusiasm was undimmed by the trickle of blood that had begun dripping between her two front teeth, and dribbling down her chin. The party urged this loyal Maître D’ to abandon her post and bandage the wound, which was quickly beginning to gush. A waterfall of red liquid fell from upper lip, and Pip swore he could make out a rainbow glistening just above her chompers.

Mentally shaken by this disturbing entry, Pip’s appetite was unwavering. The party bee-lined for the large wall on which the

various offerings were scrawled in chalk. While Worthy Kitchen’s menu does not boast grand variety, the slim selection reveals a potential origin for the restaurant’s intriguing monicker. Only the most superb dishes make the chalkboard, and Pip struggled to decide between a Bulgogi Burrito and a Brisket Melt. Ultimately, nothing but the tenderloin could satiate the epic hunger Pip had amassed. Pip further acquired a blonde Allagash ale.

The conversation was lively and flowed freely throughout the meal. Checkers, by far the inferior of the two games played on the sixty four square board, flowed casually on the periphery of the meal, while the heart of the intellectual repartee thumped rapidly as the Reviewers cast their critical eyes and minds from Classical Music to Black Lives Masters. The tenderloin was sliced into thick medallions, spread across a bed of greens asparagus. Alongside their meals, our heroes inhaled the factual nature of existence.

The group stood in line for at least 20 blistering minutes in the scorching, humid, oily air that could only be the product of a mediocre quality Northern knock-off of a classic, Traditional Southern restaurant. Much deliberation was had over what to order. We made sure there were almost no duplicates in our orders, in order to maximize fiscal efficiency and sensual benefit. It was decided, after great deliberation, as is recorded below: appetizers of poutine, Truffle Fries, Buffalo Wings, and Roasted Vegetables, and entrees including but not limited to, of

course, Mac & Cheese, Buttermilk Fried Chicken, the scandalous Farm Diner Burger, and the Pork BBQ Roll, and the Brisket Melt. A variety of draft beers were also ordered, for quite a large sum of money, as is American tradition. Chet Danger Williams decided to go big and go bold instead of going home; he ordered a mad scientist’s concoction entitled “coffee brunch” draft ale, which he could not resist given his near-lifelong addiction to coffee, self-loathing, and masochism. It turned out to be a fantastic decision, as it was the best beer of all that was ordered on this fateful night. Chet went and sat at a long, high table with his Comrades, and they waited, as described above.

After 20 minutes that felt like a day in a Russian Banya, our bountiful feast was finally ready.

And there we were: we noble few, sweltering in the heat, we Heroes of Our Time, sacrificing our arteries for the greater good of America, grabbing everything on trays that could barely contain what lay upon them and returning to our table. The food was so rich, buttery, and deep fried that it reminded Chet immediately of Southern food from back in his glorious high school days.

The roasted vegetables were, of course, the unanimous favorite: plain green beans, mushrooms, and pickles are tough to beat in both flavor and quality. Everyone enjoyed the taste of what they devoured: the Mac&Cheese was far too rich with toxins to consume, and only ¼ of the dish was eaten on that day. The rest, along with the Buffalo Wings, were taken home by 2 of our

Worthy Facts FACT: Worthy Kitchen’s revenue constitutes 10% of Vermont’s GDP FACT: Vermont is nicknamed the “Green Mountain State” in reference to its lush, rolling, marijuana-covered hills and mountains. The marijuana season, however, only lasts during the summer months, while in the ninemonth winter a different, whitish substance is cultivated.

FACT: “Phil Hanlon is soft” - Gil Hanlon FACT: The other 90% of Vermont’s GDP is mostly comprised of Maple Syrup production. The sugary, sap-based substance also serves as the state’s currency.

FACT: Vermont should probably just be part of Quebec. company for another round of battle later that evening. The majority of the rest of the food was devoured; each and every bite hurt more than the last, but pain is never ashamed to repeat itself, after all. We fought with all of our strength to stand up and make it to our van, vowing to one day return again. *All dollar amounts are a representation of maple syrup equivalent

WORTHY KITCHEN Among the worthiest of places to eat, with long lines and great food.

12 Monday – August 22, 2016

The Dartmouth Review

THE LAST WORD GORDON HAFF’S

COMPILED BY CHARLES C.W. JANG AND SANDOR FARKAS

“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”

–Willie Nelson “Anyone who imagines they can work alone winds up surrounded by nothing but rivals, without companions.

The fact is, no one ascends alone.”

–Lance Armstrong “If you’re not gonna go all the way, why go at all?”

–Joe Namath “Competition is a sin.”

–John D. Rockefeller

“Competition has been shown to be useful up to a certain point and no further, but cooperation, which is the thing we must strive for today, begins where competition leaves off ” –Franklin D. Roosevelt “My greatest competition is, well, me.”

–R. Kelly

“You have competition every day because you set such high standards for yourself that you have to go out every day and live up to that.”

–Michael Jordan “The praise of ancient authors proceeds not from the reverence of the dead, but from the competition and mutual envy of the living.”

–Thomas Hobbes

“Friendships born on the field of athletic strife are the real gold of competition. Awards become corroded, friends gather no dust.”

–Jesse Owens “Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people.”

–David Sarnoff “Of all human powers operating on the affairs of mankind, none is greater than that of competition.”

–Henry Clay “Unrestrained competition can drive people into actions that they would otherwise regret.”

–George Soros “Battle is the most magnificent competition in which a human being can indulge. It brings out all that is best; it removes all that is base. All men are afraid in battle. The coward is the one who lets his fear overcome his sense of duty. Duty is the essence of manhood” –George S. Patton “There are two powers in the world; one is the sword and the other is the pen. There is a great competition and rivalry between the two. There is a third power stronger than both, that of the women.”

–Muhammad Ali Jinnah “The Champions League is the competition everyone wants to be in.”

–Steven Gerrard

BARRETT’S MIXOLOGY

Summertime Spirit Ingredients

• 2 shots Tito’s Vodka • 3 shots Bailey’s • 5 fresh strawberries • 1 can of Keystone • A freshly-printed Resume

It goes without saying that summer is a special time. The warm weather allows one to enjoy the comforts of summer attire, a welcome break after a long Hanover winter. A two-class layup-only course load makes this term one of the more enjoyable, as less time is spent in the classroom and library, and instead spent next to a pong table and outdoors. Finally, it is a season for memories, nostalgically reminiscing on good times during the summers of the past, enjoying the hedonistic revelry of the present, and preparing for the (hopefully) amazing summers to come.

And what better way to live in the present than with a hearty dose of alcohol?

Besides being the prime opportunity for Men of Dartmouth to consume fruity, girly drinks, the summertime offers students prime opportunities to live up to their school’s namesake and, so to speak, “darty.” Sure, a nice cold beer on a warm July evening always hits the spot. But as far as inebriation is concerned, it doesn’t hit it quite as much as you’d hope for. Some stronger spirits, masked by a sweet, flavorful cover, is the truly desirable deluge.

Then, as the drink, and the night alike, reach their ends, the beads of sweat start to drip down the forehead. Damn. I’ve got to get back to work practicing for my interview next month. It is difficult to resign one’s self to that fact that the carefree hedonism of the past will soon be just that the past. Tomorrow is just another day back on the old grind. But chin up, lads - there’s always another drink at the end of the tunnel.

—Sheriff Rick Grimes

“The successful companies try to keep the new entrants down. Now that’s great for a company like ours. We make more money that way because we have less competition and less innovation. But for the country as a whole, it’s horrible. ” –Charles Koch “My whole life is about winning. I don’t lose often. I almost never lose.”

–Donald J. Trump “In today’s roller-coaster economy, hyper-competitive, fear-based, flat and global world, convincing anyone to do anything at any time requires getting their attention, creating their intention and turning it to action” –Peter Guber “One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.”

–Elbert Hubbard “Are we going to do any thinking today, or is it going to be all math.”

–Philip J. Hanlon “The fastest depleing resource in America is the use of logic” –Tree Doc from Glouster I know Ryan Locthe got robbed my girlfriend was there and saw the whole thing” –Manti Teo

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