Hanover Review Inc. P.O. Box 343 Hanover NH, 03755
Volu m e 3 6 , Is su e 12
Mond ay, Janu ar y 1 6 , 2 0 1 7
THE DARTMOUTH REVIEW OF BOOKS
WITHIN THE CLASSIC FOLD of the Tower Room, you can hear the echos ring!
Adieu, Vice Provost Ameer Imperialism, Theater, & Emasculation Max Frankel Jack S. Hutensky Managing Editor Associate Editor
Vice-Provost IngeLise Ameer is leaving the College after a restructuring of the College’s bureaucracy. Her responsibilities as Vice-Provost of Student Affairs will be subsumed by the Dean of the College, an arrangement which was standard up until 2 years ago, when the position of Vice-Provost of Student Affairs was created to separate the academic and non-academic services the College offers to students. Ameer is not being offered a new position at the College and will cease to be employed at Dartmouth once the restructuring takes place. When asked to comment as to whether
Ameer resigned voluntarily, Provost Carolyn Dever refused to say whether she had been fired or had resigned. Ameer was notorious on campus for her crackdown on fraternities and her role as the enforcer of Moving Dartmouth Forward, as well as her controversial response to a circle of aggrieved protesters: “…there is a whole conservative world out there that isn’t very nice.” The Review certainly wishes Ms. Ameer the best wherever she may end up. That being said, her removal is undoubtedly a positive step for the college – it will be a better place with her fingers off the levers of power. Her legacy is unfortunately not a positive one; she has presided over an attack on the
fraternity system and a far-left administrative culture. We hope that her departure will signal a shift towards an administration more in tune with the needs of the student body. Inge-Lise Ameer first arrived at Dartmouth College in 2010. Her journey, a $33 dollar Dartmouth Coach ride from Harvard, would go on to have huge implications for Dartmouth. Ms. Ameer had previously served as Director of Advising programs at Harvard, where she had also attended school (she earned her Masters and PH.Ds at the University, earning her undergraduate degree at Beloit College in Wisconsin). In Cambridge, she was apparently quite well liked. A Harvard Crimson article, published upon her leaving, espoused
her many achievements. Such achievements included the launch of a streamlined student advising portal for freshmen, (in her words, “one of the best days ever”) and the implementation of a paid prefect system which was designed to encourage more diversity within the program. Her former boss, Benedict H. Gross, summed it up by saying, “She knows what works, and has the skill to make it happen. Dartmouth is lucky to be getting her.” Here in Hanover, too, Ms. Ameer has been very well liked personally, and even professionally by some. Certain Dartmouth undergraduates profess that she is “very nice” and “a solid ally on campus.”
> FEATURES PAGE 8
Devon M. Kurtz Associate Editor
The crossroad of homoeroticism, Asian theater, and Western imperialism is relatively uncharted in academia. Even though Eng-Beng Lim (Associate Professor of Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies) initially viewed such connections as “farfetched”, his analyses of the influences of Western imperialism in East Asia on the development of the arts in those locales masterfully draws and defends these connections. Many of the theatrical performances were influenced, or arguably created, by expatriates from the West.
Lim discusses the role that these white colonial figures had in fetishizing Asian men through their artistic work. Using Balinese and Singaporean theater and dance to push past the façade of Western imperialism, Lim reveals the subtle, homoerotic undertones that drove the emasculation of Asian men. Lim examines the movements and dress of a number of “native” Balinese performances, as well as more modern Singaporean performances, to deduce their underlying emasculating, and often pedophilic, implications.
> FEATURES PAGE 11
A LETTER TO VICE PROVOST AMEER
BOOK REVIEW: OUR REVOLUTION
BOOK REVIEW: HILLBILLY ELEGY
The Review bids farewell to our favorite opponent (this is not sarcastic)
The Review takes a closer look at Senator Bernie Sanders’s little red book
The Review looks at JD Vance’s account of a unique culture within America
> EDITORIAL PAGE 3
> FEATURES PAGE 10
> FEATURES PAGE 14
2 Monday – January 16, 2017
The Dartmouth Review
TABLE OF CONTENTS
FRESHMEN WRITE
WORK
For thirty-five years, The Dartmouth Review has been the College’s only independent newspaper and the only student opinion journal that matters. It is the oldest and most renowned campus commentary publication in the nation and spawned a national movement at the likes of Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, and countless others. Our staff members and alumni have won many awards, including the Pulitzer Prize, and have been published in the Boston Globe, New York Times, National Review, American Spectator, Wall Street Journal, Weekly Standard, Village Voice, New Criterion, and many others. The Review aims to provide a voice for any student who enjoys challenging brittle and orthodox thinking. We stand for free speech, student rights, and the liberating arts. Whatever your political leanings, we invite you to come steep yourself in campus culture and politics, Dartmouth lore, keen witticisms, and the fun that comes with writing for an audience of thousands. We’re looking for writers, photographers, cartoonists, aspiring business managers, graphic designers, web maestros, and anyone else who wants to learn from Dartmouth’s unofficial school of journalism.
PONTIFICATE
CONSERVATIVE
SAFE space
“Because every student deserves a safe space”
– Inge-Lise Ameer, Vice Provost for Student Affairs
Meetings held Mondays at 6:30 PM at our offices at 32 S. Main Street (next to Lou’s in the lower level office space)
INSIDE THE ISSUE Ameer Departs Dartmouth
The Review discusses the implications of the College’s reorganization ....................PAGE 1
Brown Boys and Ruce Queens: a Review
The Dartmouth Review reviews Professor Eng-Beng Lim’s recent book.................. PAGE 1
The Dartmouth Review chrocicles Ameer’s tenure at Dartmouth from junior dean to Vice Provost............................................................................................................................... PAGE 9
Our Revolution: a Review
The Dartmouth Review gives Senator Sanders’s book a chance .............................. PAGE 10
Week in Review
The Dartmouth Review writes about current eventss .................................................. PAGE 4
A Sane Reply to a Violent Editorial
Brian Chen respons to an editorial in The Daily Dartmouth .................................... PAGE 6
Trump: An Old Media Candidate
James Chartouni discusses President Elect Donald Trump’s relationship with old and new media......................................................................................................................... PAGE 7
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Ameer: a Retrospective
The Dartmouth Review P.O. Box 343 Hanover, NH 03755 (603) 643-4370 www.dartreview.com
Gilmore Girls: a Review
Brian Chen reviews the latest season.......................................................................... PAGE 12
Hillbilly Elegy: a Review
Marcus Thompson reviws this seaon’s hit.................................................................. PAGE 14
The Review Reviews Sushi Ya
The gang reunites for another adventure.................................................................... PAGE 15
CHURCHILL READS THE REVIEW. DO YOU?
The Dartmouth Review
Monday – January 16, 2017
3
MASTHEAD & EDITORIAL EST. 1980
“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win great triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to takerank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.” —Theodore Roosevelt
EDITORIAL BOARD
EDITORIAL
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
A Letter to the Vice Provost
SANDOR FARKAS
EXECUTIVE EDITORS JACK F. MOUROUZIS JOSEPH R. TORSELLA
MANAGING EDITORS JOSHUA L. KAUDERER MAX J. FRANKEL MARCUS J. THOMPSON RUSHIL SHUKLA
ASSOCIATE EDITORS DEVON KURTZ JACK S. HUTENSKY B. WEBB HARRINGTON
BUSINESS STAFF PRESIDENT
MATTHEW R. ZUBROW
VICE PRESIDENT ROBERT Y. SAYEGH SAMUEL W. LAWHON
ADVISORY FOUNDERS
GREG FOSSEDAL, GORDON HAFF, BENJAMIN HART, KEENEY JONES
LEGAL COUNSEL
MEAN-SPIRITED, CRUEL, AND UGLY
BOARD OF TRUSTEES
MARTIN ANDERSON, PATRICK BUCHANAN, THEODORE COOPER-STEIN, DINESH D’SOUZA, MICHAEL ELLIS, ROBERT FLANIGAN, JOHN FUND, KEVIN ROBBINS, GORDON HAFF, JEFFREY HART, LAURA INGRAHAM, MILDRED FAY JEFFERSON, WILLIAM LIND, STEVEN MENASHI, JAMES PANERO, HUGO RESTALL, ROLAND REYNOLDS, WILLIAM RUSHER, WESTON SAGER, EMILY ESFAHANI-SMITH, R. EMMETT TYRRELL, SIDNEY ZION
NOTES Special thanks to William F. Buckley, Jr. “I’d rather be a princess than a rice queen!” The Editors of The Dartmouth Review welcome correspondence from readers concerning any subject, but prefer to publish letters that comment directly on material published previously in The Review. We reserve the right to edit all letters for clarity and length. Please submit letters to the editor by mail or email: dartmouthrevieweditor@gmail.com Or by mail at:
The Dartmouth Review P.O. Box 343 Hanover, NH 03755 (603) 643-4370
Please direct all complaints to: editor@thedartmouth.com
Dear Vice Provost Ameer,
customed to leftists assuming we have selfish or even hateful intentions. To the casual observer, it may ap- Many assume that we are all rich and pear that the editors and staff of The that our economic policies are based Review have no great love for you. on greed. Others seem to think we Over the course of your employment are all racists, bigots, or misogynists. at Dartmouth, we have attacked your When we explain that our views are actions and lampooned your ideas. based on concrete and earnestly held We have brought your missteps to values, progressives ridicule us or call the attention of national media, and us liars. we have likely caused you a few headWhile we do not mind the hate that aches. This issue is no exception: comes our way (it comes in handy some of our writers have chosen to when we want to showcase leftist strike their final blows against your hypocrisy), it destroys the progressive vision in harsh potential for meaningful terms and satire. discourse and mutual On behalf of The Review, understanding. It is imI would like to inform portant to critically exyou that despite our amine the intentions of publication histor y, others, but it is essential you are one of our to analyze any narrative favorite administrain the context of its own tors. Reporters and assumptions. While the students alike often former can advance ask me for my opinan argument, the lation on you and your ter promotes undertenure in the wake of standing. controversies. If you Many people are Sándor Farkas consult articles that cautious of underquote me, you will see that I con- standing their enemies. They believe sistently portray you in a positive that understanding necessarily relight. sults in sympathy. This is a definite Many of us know you personally to possibility – if you lack the courage be a kind, courteous, and beneficent of you own convictions. The abiliindividual. We have also observed ty to understand apparent evil while that your views stem from deep-seated maintaining faith in good is an esconvictions and not from ego, apathy, sential tool in the pursuit of truth. It or malice. We see that you care deeply is tempting to think that the pursuit for students – all students – and that of truth necessitates one party bendyou work tirelessly to ensure their ing to the views of the other. This welfare. We obviously disagree with inaccurately places concord above you on the means to improve student truth. Neither consensus nor peace lives and on the beliefs that motivate should be the goals of discourse: the your actions. These disagreements are pursuit of truth is better understood likely irreconcilable, and we remain as a journey than as a desired end fully committed to fighting for our state. own convictions. To that end, we have You, out of all the leftist adminisengaged in a variety of tactics befit- trators, understand this. We thank ting the gravity of our dispute. you for your understanding, good This aside, we salute you for the will, and kindness. We will be sad to courage of your convictions, the cre- see you go on a personal level, and we dence you place in others’ self-pro- hope others in your camp will emufessed values, and your general good late your admirable qualities. will towards those who disagree with you. While you have made a few not- Sincerely, very-nice missteps, we are guilty of the same, for which we offer our sincere apologies. The basis for our admiration lies in the second item I listed: your ability to see in us the sincerity we see in you. Editor-in-Chief, As conservatives, we have grown ac- The Dartmouth Review
Sandor Farkas
4 Monday – January 16, 2017
The Dartmouth Review
WEEK IN REVIEW INGRAHAM CONSIDERS SENATE BID Reports have recently surfaced that conservative pundit Laura Ingraham ’85 is considering a run for the United States Senate. The report, which comes from Washington insider Paul Bedard, alleges that she will run in Virginia, as a direct challenge to Tim Kaine D-Va, Hillary Clinton’s running mate. Bedard also reported that Ingraham and associates have taken a number of steps toward running a full on campaign, including buying internet domain names ingrahamsenate.net, ingrahamsenate.com, ingrahamforvirginia.com and ingraham2018.com. Ms. Ingraham is a longtime friend of The Dartmouth Review. She is a former Editor-in-Chief and current subscriber. The Dartmouth Review would like to wish Ms. Ingraham the best of luck in the event that she chooses to do her part to improve our beloved country.
PROFESSORS PLAN DAY OF RESISTANCE TO TRUMP A group of professors from colleges and universities across America have pledged to “resist” Donald Trump’s victory during class time. The “teach-in,” planned for January 18, aims to “…to Teach, Organize, Resist. Transform your classrooms and commons into spaces of education that protest policies of violence, disenfranchisement, segregation, and isolationism.” Moreover, these organizers hope to send a message that “…on #J18 and beyond, universities, colleges, and high schools refused to bear silent witness to the politics of hate and fear.” Clearly these “activists” are too isolated to realize they’re just repeating the same insults to the tens of millions of working-class Americans who supported President Trump’s message of Americanism. The hubris of leftist academia is the gift that keeps on giving. In lieu of reflecting on the liberal elitism that fueled much of President Trump’s rise, these professors, comfortably in their bubbles, continue to prioritize virtue signaling and calling anyone who doesn’t fall into their strict orthodoxy “racist.” Thankfully, their shrill leftism is dying. More and more people are rejecting the regressive left and
their name-calling is losing its meaning after being assigned to anyone daring to disagree with even the most radical of ideas. We at The Review hope for a day when we can address the cultural, social, and economic issues facing our nation with calm opposition not prone to levelling accusations of racism and insisting conservatives “check their privilege” at the slightest deviation from their narrow thinking.
STATE DEPARTMENT APOLOGIZES TO LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY On the morning of Monday, January 9th, while President-Elect Trump was denouncing the overrated actress Meryl Streep on Twitter, Secretary of State John Kerry quietly released a statement on behalf of the State Department apologizing to the LGBTQ+ community for past wrongful discrimination. Secretary Kerry’s apology came at the encouragement of Senator Ben Cardin (D-MD). Cardin wrote a letter asking for the State Department to recognize and apologize for the Lavender Scare, an unconfirmed systematic purging of several thousand Federal employees suspected of homosexuality during the 1950’s. The statement by Secretary Kerry was relatively brief, confusingly vague, and subtly braggadocious. Secretary Kerry began in his usual pretentious manner, taking the moral high ground and clearing himself of any responsibility. Secretary Kerry ensured that “Throughout [his] career” he has “stood strongly in support of the LGBTI community”, a declaration that had nothing to with the so-called Lavender Scare that allegedly occurred long before Kerry’s involvement with the State Department. Secretary Kerry tossed in a few details about his efforts to advance the recognition and protection of human rights for LGTBQ+ people, once again veering off topic from the main point of his apology. To the dismay of Senator Cardin and many other believers in the Lavender Scare conspiracy, Secretary Kerry’s statement never explicitly acknowledged the Lavender Scare or its highly exaggerated consequences. Secretary Kerry vaguely recalled the State Department’s adherence to federal law, which, from 1953 to 1995, mandated that practicing homosexuals could not be employed by the federal government because of their status as criminals in many states. It was widely believed that homosexuality made employees vulnerable to blackmail by enemies of the
United States, compromising their ability to keep state secrets confidential. Secretary Kerry expressed his belief that following federal law was a mistake and that refusing to hire these high-risk employees was a wrong, even if it likely prevented a damaging outflow of information to America’s Cold War enemies. It seems to be a pattern of Democratic Secretaries of State to have no respect for federal laws protecting the confidentiality of classified material.
REV. SEKOU TO SPEAK AT DARTMOUTH
Shabazz Hall, LALACS House, and Institutional Diversity and Equity are co-sponsoring a Martin Luther King, Jr. Day student dinner with keynote speaker Rev. Osagyefo Sekou this Sunday evening. Sekou professes himself to be a staunch supporter and follower of the Black Lives Matter movement. He has been a notable figure in the protests and raids of Ferguson, Missouri, and was arrested three times during the unrest. It is difficult to predict what Rev. Sekou may discuss at the MLK dinner, but it may be centered around his support of non-violent civil disobedience in places such as Ferguson, or his view that the church and democracy must be saved. In the past, he has stated that he isn’t “terribly hopeful for the church” and that “queer, black, poor women are the church’s salvation.” Additionally, in the wake of President Obama’s snub of our great alliance with Israel, Sekou may discuss his support of Palestine, as he has previously stated, “Particularly in Ferguson, solidarity with Palestine was never a question.” Sekou has also posed questions regarding law enforcement such as, “Do we honestly need them in our communities?” If not law enforcement, who will protect the beloved safe spaces of liberals at Dear Old Dartmouth?
(S)NO(W) SCULPTURE? First they came for our homecoming fire, and we did nothing because they argued it was for “safety”. Then they came for our snow sculpture, and we did nothing because they said it was due to the “warm win-
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The Dartmouth Review
Monday – January 16, 2017
Jack S. Hutensky Zachary P. Port
ters”. What will they come for next? An email from the Winter Carnival Council informed the student body this week that, “As we approach Winter Carnival, the Carnival Council faces a variety of challenges inhibiting the construction of a snow sculpture on the Green. These include increasingly warm winters with limited snowfall, many years of declining involvement from the student body at large, and an absence of student leadership for the construction of a sculpture this year.” To this embarrassing display of lethargy and weakness, we must respond. One, “global warming” has not depleted our water reserves required to make a snow sculpture. Two, perhaps the lack of enthusiasm for the snow sculpture has been confused for a lack of enthusiasm for the carnival themes. The only meaningfully magical part of this year’s theme, Dartmouth College of Icecraft & Blizzardry: a Magical Winter Carnival, is the ability to make our snow sculpture disappear. Try to pick a fruitier theme! Snow sculptures, since they began in 1925, were towering and awe inspiring up until the point the college started regulating their construction, content, size, scope, and security. This is when the tradition faded, when fraternities no longer found it possible to have their annual snow sculpture contest, and when the DOC no longer felt compelled to best every other sculpture. The tradition failed when the administration tried to synthetically recreate and centralize the organic Dartmouth social structure. Something has certainly been lost in the snow sculpture, but the administration shouldn’t blame it on the weather. The sculpture could have been built. It would have been challenging, but it could have been done. Instead the administration decided that they would rather there be no snow sculpture than let students do it without them, disrespecting the traditions of old and disrespecting the student body as a whole.
Devon Kurtz Max J. Frankel
CARTOON
“I wonder if she will put the Bestiality Club on her résumé?”
CARTOON
A DIVERSE GROUP OF EXPERTS In December 2016, the College announced its intentions to form a review board to evaluate “Dartmouth’s ongoing Action Plan for Inclusive Excellence.” Four experts comprise the board. Kimberly Griffin is an associate professor at the University of Maryland who earned her bachelors at Stanford University and her PHD at UCLA. It seems strange that someone so focused on improving diversity and inclusiveness would choose to work in such liberal locations who supposedly have so many less issues with racism. John Rich is quite qualified. Rich is a leader in his field (public health) and has authored several books describing the trauma that many young black men experience. He promotes more extensive health care programs that will “engage young men in caring for themselves and their peers.” Even better he earned his AB at Dartmouth and received an honorary Doctor of Science degree from the College. Keivan Stassun is a professor of Physics and Astronomy at Vanderbilt University who also serves as a chair on several diversity-related committees. His efforts thus far have been directed towards diversity and inclusivity, however, none have yet come to fruition. Several students have dropped out of his “Fisk-Vanderbilt Master’s-to-Ph.D. Bridge Program” and, though he has continually protested universities that misuse GRE scores to exclude minorities and women, no policies have yet been altered. Kiva Wilson is an African-American gay woman from South Carolina who graduated from the College. She makes a point of mentioning her sexuality in all of her employment interviews so that she can observe how the interview panel reacts and derive a sense of the type of people with whom she might be working. Wilson now works at Facebook and has progressed significantly towards developing recruitment strategies to grow historically underrepresented talent at the company. Overall, however, we must note the irony of the racial imbalance on a panel geared toward promoting diversity and inclusivity. While African Americans represent only 13.2% of the total U.S. population, they dominate the review board three-to-one.
5
“If silence is violence, then wouldn’t the most effective form of resistance be to shut up?””
CARTOON
“Back in my day, the snow sculptures were spectacular!” “Back in your day, so were you!”
6 Monday – January 16, 2017
The Dartmouth Review
FEATURES
A Sane Reply to a Violent Editorial
Brian Chen Executive Editor Emeritus This New Year has brought, as always, a new term and fresh snow on the hills of Hanover. It has also brought a new President-elect, Donald J. Trump. Perhaps the least surprising thing this new year has ushered in is yet another example of editorial incompetence in The Daily Dartmouth. The Dartmouth recently published a categorically moronic diatribe against the President-elect—one that is so systematically devoid of critical thought that it could almost be entirely reconstructed from Democratic campaign slogans and talking points. Mind you, this is before even considering the piece’s glaring factual errors and mischaracterizations. Michael Mayer ’17 wrote this editorial, “Trumpism: A Violent Ideology,” as an ostensible response to Tyler Baum ‘20’s “Why I Voted for Trump” editorial from last fall. In reality, it is simply a cudgel to bludgeon those with the audacity to disagree with social justice orthodoxy. Laced with haughty moral superiority, Mayer claims to stand for “peace and justice” and “compassion” while calling opposing views racist, sexist, xenophobic, “unacceptable,” and even deadly. The editorial lobs many an epithet at Baum. None of this name-calling deserves to be dignified with a response, and Mayer’s overall editorial is wholly unworthy of any intellectual engagement. However, leaving views so toxic to civil society unchallenged would be the true Mr. Chen is a senior at the College and an Executive Editor Emeritus at The Dartmouth Review.
disservice. Mayer continues to parrot the bizarre assertion that a vote for Trump implies an endorsement, or at least excusal, of his every word. Taking this reasoning to its logical conclusion, every Clinton voter must be held accountable for Secretary Clinton’s “basket of deplorables” and “irredeemable” comments. Either Mayer agrees with these comments, which would reveal his malice more than anyone else’s, or he is a hypocrite who does not believe that the same standards apply. The simple fact of this election is that an historically large portion of the electorate was dissatisfied with both major party candidates. The natural result is that many individuals voted for candidates that they found highly distasteful, and only did so with great reluctant and anguish. Using that unfortunate reality to impugn the character of others is childish and irresponsible. It has no place in public discourse, regardless of President-elect Trump’s real or perceived misdeeds. In a fit of irony, Mayer cites an “ignorance of history” inherent Baum’s support of President-elect Trump’s desire to “Make America Great Again.” Mayer equates the slogan with “returning to a period filled with even more hatred, oppression, and violence.” One cannot know whether Mayer is being willfully ignorant or willfully disingenuous. In any case, he creates a straw man that is not even internally consistent. In support of his claims, he cites every historical misdeed imaginable (colonialism, slavery, imperialism, Jim Crow) while including the prison-industrial complex for
good measure. A cursory understanding of history (and logic) demonstrates that many of these historical institutions belong to mutually exclusive time periods. Mayer even admits that the prison-industry complex he decries exists today. If President-elect Trump really wanted to return us to one of these time periods, which one is it? Will he bring us to a time before the prison-industrial complex so he can recreate it? The whole exercise is nonsense. There are a few simple reasons why Mayer’s particular criticism here is so unhinged (even more so than the rest of the editorial). One is the hubris inherent in believing that one is on the right side of history. Another reason is that the entire argument is a farce. It is a blatant obfuscation and misinterpretation of reality. Anyone who has heard the slogan in context knows that it refers to manufacturing jobs and physical safety in light of radical Islamic terrorism. Yet such is the result of being hell-bent on force-fitting a narrative that anyone who voted for Trump is a horrific human being worthy of being labeled with every –ism and –phobia in existence. Time and time again, it seems that Mayer’s propensity for moral outrage overrides any higher critical faculties that may or may not exist. Nevertheless, Mayer makes a few correct calls. Yes, “for many this is a matter of life and death.” This is a matter of life and death for hundreds of thousands of law enforcement
officers, for whom the “Ferguson effect” has put their lives in more danger than ever. This is a matter of life and death for the hundreds of thousands in Middle America suffering from heroin addiction. And this is a matter of life and death for the hundreds of veterans who have died waiting for care at the VA. For all his faults, President-elect Trump acknowledged these people who were not be-
one’s vote is not a signal of one’s virtue. Seeing editorials as illogical and ignominious as Mayer’s, it is clear that my hope was mistaken; an emboldened left seems intent on doubling down on the same school of thought. On one hand, if the trend continues, Republicans will continue their electoral dominance. It turns out that those who try to do right by their neighbors, communities, and nation do
“It is simply a cudgel to bludgeon those with the audacity to disagree with social justice orthodoxy. Laced with haughty moral superiority, Mayer claims to stand for “peace and justice” and “compassion” while calling opposing views racist, sexist, xenophobic, “unacceptable,” and even deadly.” ing heard. Their lives are no less valuable because of the color of their skin or the uniforms they wear. Mayer cannot claim the moral imperative while trivializing the suffering of so many with the assertion that “white folks must be uncomfortable [and] acknowledge our privileges.” I had hoped that the response to President-elect Trump’s surprise victory would be a dose of humility and a serious reevaluation of the divisive identity politics, elitism, and political correctness that led to this outcome. Neither Republicans nor Democrats are innocent of these crimes. I had hoped that the response would be one of compassion and understanding—a sincere effort to acknowledge that
not take kindly to their fellow countrymen casting aspersions on them. On the other hand, the incessant narcissism, invective, and lack of ideas make our political conversation that much poorer. Polarization and division are the natural outcomes. Regardless of the merit or lack thereof in Baum’s views, Mayer’s editorial is indefensible. Yet there is a way forward. First and foremost, apologize for the uncivil and vile accusations of racism, xenophobia, and sexism. Acknowledge that “peace and justice” is unlikely to be realized by demonizing millions of Americans. And finally, stop with the mindless repetition of buzzwords and manufactured vocabulary.
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The Dartmouth Review
Monday – January 16, 2017
7
FEATURES
Trump: An Old Media Candidate
MOGUL President-Elect Trump dominated the media cycle.
James R. Chartouni Contributer As journalists entered their Midtown offices on November 9 with fair-trade soy lattes in one hand, and tissues in the other, all they could ask themselves is how could this disaster have happened As they .finished typing their eulogies & statuses signaling their tolerance, social consciousness and enlightened views, they then set their eyes on the most obvious target to blame. Before the internet, everybody would pick up an ordained newspaper and watch the same three nightly news broadcasts. Within this infovore monoculture, the American people could be guided to the “truth” by the anointed clergy of reputable journalists in clandestine newspaper office and TV studios. Now, to their horror, social media and the internet has ripped their precious monopoly of user attention away from their tiny hands, allowing the hordes of unwashed, unindoc – sorry, uneducated to create their heretical versions of the truth. It is in this world where Breitbart, Drudge and Mr. Chartouni is a sophomore at the College and a Contributor to The Dartmouth Review.
Fake News emerge from the loins of old white people from the Midwest and South to poison the masses with right wing conspiracies and fake news. Consequently, Trump, who has the same relationship with the truth as with his wives, was able to harness the chaos of his campaign to victory by leveraging the power of social media and new, alt-right websites to spin up his own reality and version of the truth.
‘liberal’ Facebook accounts were presented completely different set of news organizations and topics. The only issue with this narrative is that it does not fit Trump and his victory. Instead, it is far more plausible that a 70 year old man, cable news addict, and a known technophobe is more adept at manipulating older mediums. While the aforementioned narrative is compelling and worrisome, I
Sarcasm aside, these are real issues with modern news consumption. Social media algorithms are driven by what makes money which is user engagement. It turns out bullsh-t is quite engaging. Our confirmation-seeking selves are too fragile to expose ourselves to “hard” news and the opposing opinions, and instead are drawn to the instant gratification of an article explaining to us for the millionth time why Trump/ Hillary are the devil incarnate. The result is that Democrats and Republicans can hide in their own unique bubbles and never cross paths. This is most striking demonstrated in a WSJ report where ‘conservative’ and
find it hard to believe that NBC reality TV star Donald Trump, driven to victory by the eldest segments of the population, who are the least likely to consume online news and social media, fits the description. His social media presence just is not large enough to hit broad segments of the electorate, especially the ones who voted for him. Pro-Trump websites like Breitbart and Drudge are just not that large compared to competitors to be given much explanatory power. It is even more ludicrous to say Twitter gives Trump a new microphone. A major party’s presidential candidate saying nonsensical things at 4am will get reported
“It turns out bullsh-t is quite engaging. Our confirmation-seeking selves are too fragile to expose ourselves to “hard” news and the opposing opinions.”
regardless of the era. Instead a mirror needs to be rolled out so that newspaper editors and cable news executives can see the monster that they have birthed. The incentives of old and new media organizations are not very different. New media is accused of catering to what the consumer wants rather than should hear. Instead of editors, algorithms fine tune each morsel of content to the user’s self confirming preferences. The result is that Facebook News feeds for conservatives and progressives portray entirely different worlds, articles and media outlets. It turns out readers are pretty bad judges of quality and accuracy and gravitate towards what they want to hear. The most flagrant example is how fake news dominated user traffic rankings. Old mediums produce the same results but through different mechanism. Consumers, instead of algorithms, did the self selection. Conservatives chose to read the Wall Street Journal and listen to their favorite talk radio pundit. In turn, progressives would read the New York Times and listen to This American Life. At the end of the day, the main difference is that the internet has dramatically shifted the distribution of content away from airwave and paper routes to social media sites and links, allowing a much wider array of content producers. Traditional media formats have limited content bandwidth and to decide which five stories are going to air that night. It serves as a perilous bottleneck, where vast amounts of potential stories are sent in with only a couple stories straggling out. A couple of stories have the potential to suck up the oxygen and dominate headlines, crowding everything else out. The frictionless nature of the internet means the torrential flood of stories poured in are vomited right back out to the consumer. The bottleneck is broken. Trump thrives on dominating media coverage. His freak show of a campaign was estimated to generate two billion dollars of free media in the primaries, much of it positive. Every night he a had a new act prepared. As long as he drew ratings and disposed of vial/viable conservatives the rapacious media did not care. The summer of Trump was marked with nightly commercial free airing of his rallies. Carefully prepared policy or victory speeches of opponents would be interrupted by camera shots of an empty stage awaiting his arrival and hotly anticipated unhinged antics. The Muslim ban proposal was a carefully planned effort to divert attention back to him and break Senator Cruz’s momentum. To counteract the negative
attention of paying $25 million to settle a Trump University lawsuit case, he responds by saying something crazy (but less damaging) about the Hamilton play. His foundation admits to self dealing, queue fight with the New York Times. He spins up scandal at such a voracious rate the the media funnel is overwhelmed. No one can pay attention to one story long enough for it to stick in people’s memories and do damage long term damage. This strategy works when there are only a few nightly broadcasts, channels, or space constrained news paper pages. Twitter was his preferred medium of instigating a new cycle, not connecting with voters. That was for cable news. When the combination of new sources and ways to present that information is infinite, his control of the media cycle breaks down. In the time it takes cable news to cover one story, a user can flick through hundreds in a news feed. The inventory of the internet is simply too large for President-Elect Trump to fill it all. Unable to dictate the media news cycle, his over the top antics, incessant lying, and 3am tweeting sessions come off as unhinged and childish. It is no accident that Trump’s core base of support was shared with cable news, whose average viewer is in his mid sixties. When analyzing why the
“‘Conservative’ and ‘liberal’ Facebook accounts were presented completely different set of news organizations and topics.” President-Elect won, it is important to separate pre-existing factors from new ones. Unlike traditional Republican elites, Trump’s anti-immigrant, protectionist, strong-man politics spoke to a large but declining segment. Trump’s media strategy is no different. He is a backward-looking candidate whose viability was predicated on the conditions of an era rapidly coming to a close. Just because he is new phenomena does not mean the reasons why he is elected are new. Probably the most similar model of Trump is another womanizing politician, with questionable ethics, a flair for cable news, and a prodigious ability to survive scandal, Italian media tycoon and former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. Opponents and allies alike would do much better job studying Berlusconi than convincing themselves of how new age media and the internet wrought this leviathan of a candidate.
8 Monday – Jaunary 16, 2017
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Ameer Departs the College donations. It is perhaps partially because of the influence of disaffected alumni that Ameer is leaving the College, although there is as of yet no proof of this. In any case, her conduct in the library incident received
much of which she was charged with implementing. She is also remembered for her decision to re-introduce the College policy prohibiting students from living at derecognized Greek organizations – a decision that
er, it is her persistent attack on fraternities in particular that has caused much of Dartmouth to lose confidence in her leadership – there is a certain fundamental unfairness about the severity and the rigidity of the
“Does Ameer’s departure signal a new direction? Is the College changing its course?”
AMEER early in her dartmouth career
> CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 At the College, Ameer had a busy and public tenure, climbing through the ranks of Dartmouth’s vast bureaucracy from Associate Dean to the newly-created Vice-Provost for Student Affairs. As Associate Dean, Ameer oversaw academic support services, a number of departments linked to student life (such as OPAL) and the synergistic cooperation between Student Affairs staff members and faculty. Following her promotion to Interim Dean of the College for 2014-15, she had a heavy hand in implementing the program, Moving Dartmouth Forward and enforcing Hanlon’s writ on the fraternity system. After another promotion to Vice-Provost, she gained further control over the Center for Service and the Tucker Center. Through and through, former Vice Provost Ameer worked to, in the words of the Office of Student Affairs, “support the undergraduate experience at all levels,” and “promote diversity and inclusion,”
Multiple students alleged violence on the part of the protestors. The eruption in the library was even likely criminal because, according to reports at the time, its perpetrators used “fighting words” (see Chaplinsky v. New Hampshire) such as “F*** you, you filthy white f***s!,” “F*** you, you racist s***!,” etc. and also “pushed and shoved” those who were not in full agreement. Ameer, as a ranking administrator in student affairs sworn to “promote diversity and inclusion,” responded quickly and decisively. Contrary to what one might expect, however, instead of offering support to those students traumatized during the library invasion some reports included a female student in tears – Ameer decided to meet and comfort the protesters themselves! A few days later, she spoke to a diverse and inclusive echo chamber of campus radicals. In the mixed-up worldview of Ameer, the protest was “a wonderful, beautiful thing.” At
“Ameer, as a ranking administrator in student affairs sworn to “promote diversity and inclusion,” responded quickly and decisively.” among undergraduates. Among the College’s Mandarin class, then, Ameer had apparently enjoyed their confidence and support. One of Ameer’s most high-profile actions on campus came in the wake of the well-known Black Lives Matter Library Incident in November of 2015. The episode, which occurred in First Floor Berry in the midst of exams, included chants, signs, a flurry of racial epithets and even personal threats aimed at the students who chose to study rather than join in. Mr. Frankel is a sophomore at the College and a Managing Editor at The Dartmouth Review. Mr. Hutensky is a freshman at the College and an Associate Editor at The Dartmouth Review.
same meeting, Ameer famously reminded attendees that “There’s a whole conservative world out there that’s not very nice,” to which she received laughter and applause. (The full video is available on The Review’s YouTube channel). Following the commensurate outrage on Yik Yak (an anonymous comment-based app) and other outlets, Ameer apologized, writing in a letter to the editor at The Dartmouth that she “said something completely off-base regarding Americans with conservative political views.” “To my discredit,” she continued, “I suggested they are not nice people. For this, I offer an unequivocal apology.” This apology did little to quell the outrage among College alumni, who were not at all discreet in voicing their displeasure and in withholding
national recognition because various conservative news outlets reported on the subject. Ameer also presided over the derecognition of the Alpha Delta fraternity, the derecognition of Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity, and the much more aggressive policing of the fraternities as a result of the Moving Dartmouth Forward Initiative,
forced students living in AD to move out in the middle of the term. Ameer has also enforced the hard alcohol ban and presided over the introduction of the EW House System at Dartmouth, which continues to be a massive black hole in terms of funding and a massive flop in terms of student participation. Howev-
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College’s policies under Ameer. Does Ameer’s departure signal a new direction? Is the College changing its course? It is, of course, too early to tell, but at least this is a step in the right direction. Perhaps the alumni are beginning to assert themselves. The College should make use of this opportunity to further clean house.
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Inge-Lise Ameer: A Retrospective
THERE’S A WHOLE ADMINISTRATIVE WORLD OUT THERE that steryotypes students based on their political views
Jack F. Mourouzis Michelle F. Knesbach Executive Editor Contributor
August 6, 2010 Ameer departs her former post at Harvard University as Interim Director of Advising Programs and assistant dean of the Advising Programs Office and arrives at Dartmouth College, working on the dean’s senior management team as leader of the Student Academic Support Services and Campus Life divisions with the title of Associate Dean of the College for Student Support Services, a position created “as part of an administrative restructuring that aimed to make the administration more cohesive.” According to Ameer’s official biography, this position is “the primary student affairs liaison to the faculty” and dealt with “all of the academic support services and campus life units in the student affairs division.” February 5, 2013 The Center for Women and Gender officially changes its name to the Center for Gender and Student Engagement in an attempt to “recognize that all students have a gender identity and that they all have issues that we could help them Mr. Mourouzis is a junior at the College and an Executive Editor of The Dartmouth Review. Ms. Knesbach is a senior at the College and a contributor to The Dartmouth Review.
address, whether it has to do with masculinity or femininity or how they interplay on our campus,” according to director Jessica Jennrich. Along with a name change comes a break-off from OPAL; the Center instead reports directly to Ameer. April 23, 2013 In wake of the disastrous and embarrassing Dimensions protests, all classes are canceled in a decision by Interim President Carol Folt and Dean of the Faculty Michael Mastanduno. Ameer leads a meeting of faculty and administrators that spearheaded the decision. June 25, 2014 After the resignation of the infamous Charlotte Johnson, Ameer is named Interim Dean of the College by President Hanlon. The Dartmouth News press release cites Ameer’s achievements in her previous work on campus as she “initiated and guided significant advances in student services, including the planning and opening of the Ross Advising Suite in the library, resulting in a 30 percent increase in student utilization of services offered by the undergraduate deans. Ameer has also advanced campus services and access for students and other community members with disabilities, worked with faculty to create and implement the 360 Advising pilot program for first- and second-year students, and ensured the continuation and expansion of the
First Year Student Enrichment Program for first-generation students.” April 14, 2015 It is announced in a campus wide email from Provost Carolyn Dever that Ameer will fill the position of a new post titled Vice Provost of Student Affairs, effective July 1. In an interview with The Dartmouth, Ameer described herself as “a strong advocate for students.” Despite the new title, Ameer would “bring nearly all of her old responsibilities as interim dean to her new role… and will serve as a force of accountability for student affairs.” June 18, 2015 Dean Ameer sends a campus wide blitz affirming that Dartmouth students enrolled in the College “may not live in in Greek Letter, undergraduate, or senior society facility that is not recognized by the College”. This measure was in response to the ambiguous situation of Alpha Delta fraternity, which was derecognized in May 2015. The reasoning behind the reinstatement of the policy, which had been discontinued in 2011, was cited as student “health and safety.” November 16, 2015 Ameer addresses a room full of students and community members about the Black Lives Matter protest in Baker Berry Library which occurred on November 12. At this meet-
ing Dean Ameer infamously addressed phone calls from concerned alumni by noting that the administration had received “a lot of terrible calls” and that “We told them that they were all ridiculous, and that the protest was a wonderful beautiful thing.” She further explained the phone calls by noting that “There’s a whole conservative world out there that’s not very nice.” The incident receives widespread media attention. November 23, 2015 Dartmouth loses its green light ranking from FIRE (Foundation for Individual Rights in Education). This is due to the overbroad and threatening system of “Bias Incident” reporting on campus, a system offered by OPAL. January 7, 2016 An article in The Dartmouth describes a letter circulated by the faculty detailing support for financial diversity initiatives aimed at increasing the representation of people of color amongst the student body and faculty. In an interview with the paper, art history professor Mary Coffey describes how “We felt that it was urgent that we draft something and circulate it for signatures before everyone dispersed because we felt at the end of the term there was a lot of negative publicity that was coming to the college as a consequence of some of the hyperbolic, exaggerated and sometimes fallacious claims
that were being made about the Black Lives Matter solidarity protest and the attacks on the vice provost of student affairs Inge-Lise Ameer by the [Dartmouth] Review.” Feb 2, 2016 Announced in a campus wide email from President Hanlon and Dean Biron that Ameer and Dean Rebecca Biron will co-chair the student working group, an additional bureaucratic mechanism to discuss diversity on campus. The fruits of this endeavor, nearly a year after its inception, are still yet to be determined. November 9, 2016 In conjunction with Dean Rebecca Biron, Ameer sends out a campus-wide email regarding the presidential election. Within the email they list a wide array of campus resources and support to help cope with what they describe as “an especially challenging time because of local and global reactions to the election results.” January 6, 2017 Provost Carolyn Dever sends a campus wide email announcing the departure of Ameer. Provost Dever cites a “reorganization of leadership in Student Affairs” as the reason for departure. It is clarified that her position will not be filled and that Student Affairs will be overseen by the Dean of the College.
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Bernie-Bragging & Crooked Bashing must rail at other political contenders, it is to his credit that he chooses Crooked Hillary. Indeed, Bernie underlines the festering corruption behind Clinton Inc. quite eloquently: “The Clintons over the years received huge amounts of money in campaign contributions and speaking fees from powerful financial
But when Bernie isn’t using Our Revolution to criticize Crooked Hillary, he uses it to shove his political platform down the reader’s throat, often with flawed argumentation. For example, Bernie asserts that tax cuts on the highest economic echelons of society don’t create more jobs, and he cites the following statistic
them into privilege-wary socialists like himself. Probably the most prominent flaw of Our Revolution is the amount of Bernie-bragging it contains. Indeed, Bernie repeatedly states that he “had [his] doubts as to how many people would show up” to his rallies, but, afterwards, he never fails to smugly mention
“ But when Bernie isn’t using Our Revolution to criticize Crooked Hillary, he uses it to shove his political platform down the reader’s throat, often with flawed argumentation. ”
OUR REVOLUTION: A FUTURE TO BELIEVE IN by Bernie Sanders (Thomas Dunne Books; 464 p.p.)
Shawn E. Honaryar Contributor
The more things change, the more they stay the same. Bernie Sanders publicized himself as a novel, revolutionary public servant; while other politicians collude with special interest groups behind closed doors and dabble in the arts of charlatanism, demagoguery, and favoritism, Bernie was a glowing
Mr. Honaryar is a freshman at the College and a contributor at The Dartmouth Review.
symbol of benevolence, devoid of corruption, who had the best interest of the masses in mind. However, not surprisingly, many of the same timeworn faults still manifested themselves throughout Bernie’s campaign and political platform, both of which form the subject matter of his book Our Revolution. Like all politicians, Bernie lambasts his competitors instead of focusing on his own legislation and employs unscrupulous, partisan arguments to manipulate the masses. Although, if Bernie
interests in Corporate America...to me a very basic political principle is that you cannot take on the establishment when you take their money.” Sanders’ point is more than fair. The founding fathers established a democratic, not plutocratic, system of government in the United States of America, so Bernie speaks with conviction when he insinuates that electing Clinton would simply be a harbinger of corruption. Bernie endeavors to ascertain that none of Clinton’s mishaps escape his spotlight. He reminds his readers that, “[Clinton] had started several super PACs...had voted for the war in Iraq... had supported in one capacity or another virtually every one of the disastrous trade agreements that cost our country millions of decentpaying jobs.” Although Bernie devotes too large a portion of Our Revolution to discussing the shortcomings of other politicians, Hillary must be put in her rightful, deplorable place. Any reader who wasn’t “with her” will enjoy Bernie’s digressions.
as evidence: “under the eight years of President Bush, the private sector lost nearly half a million jobs and the deficit exploded. On the other hand, in 1993, when President Bill Clinton increased taxes on the top 2%...more than 22 million jobs were created.” There are myriad other factors, such as international trade and technological evolution, that contribute to the creation or destruction of jobs. And, for the record, thousands of economists have agreed that trickledown policies do in fact drive
“Probably the most prominent flaw of Our Revolution is the amount of Bernie-bragging it contains. ” growth in the business sector and enhance the economy. Bernie, however, being such a staunch opponent of tax cuts on the wealthy, erroneously narrows his argument and ignores the other factors so he can better manipulate his readers and transform
IT WOULD BE A REAL MISTAKE TO PASSOVER THIS ISSUE
that XXX number of people actually attended or that the venue his staff booked was too small to accommodate the crowds. Yeesh. Even worse was his recount of the traffic he experienced while travelling to a rally in Austin, Texas: “I was becoming more and more annoyed...we were moving at a crawl and I was worried that we would be late. Not to worry. Our meeting was the cause of the traffic jam and everybody was going to be late.” Wow. Good for you Bernie. You must be real special. You’re the only major contender against Crooked Hillary for the democratic presidential nomination? And you’re popular? This is unprecedented. How can it be? In essence, while Our Revolution does contain some incisive analysis on the flaws of America’s political status quo, Bernie’s digressions and his spurious arguments detract markedly from the book’s merit as a whole. Sit down, start reading, have your laughs at Bernie’s jibes against Hillary, but pick up Crippled America before you’re brainwashed with his ultra-liberal propaganda.
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A Queer Reading Experience
BROWN BOYS AND RICE QUEENS: SPELLBINDING PERFORMANCE IN THE ASIAS by Eng-Beng Lim (NYU Press; 233 p.p.)
> CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 In one of the finest parts of his book, Lim challenges the legacy of one of the most untouchable cultural figures in Bali: Walter Spies. Spies was a Dutch expatriate who lived in Bali in the early twentieth century and rose to prominence as the de facto cultural tour guide for Europeans visiting Bali. One of Spies’ most notable accomplishments was his part in developing the dance “kecak,” a dance that is viewed as a traditional Balinese performance, but which Lim argues played a role in fetishizing and emasculating Asian men. He uses Spies and these native boys to draw a comparison between the imperial relationship of colonizer/ Mr. Kurtz is a freshman at the College and an Associate Editor at The Dartmouth Review.
colonized and the sexual relationship of European white man/Asian boy. The precedent set by previous academics studying Spies was that his sexual life was off-limits – his biographies did not include any details about his relationships with males – as many of them believed these details could harm his legacy. Despite Spies being investigated for having sexual relations with underage boys more than once, those who have studied his works have left out any acknowledgement of the possibility that Spies’ homosexual relations influenced or inspired his artistic expression, even though it is likely that many of these boys were dancers in his performances and the subjects of his photography. Lim largely stands alone in academia in his assertions that there is a connection between Spies’ homosexual rela-
tionships and his professional work, specifically in his development of kecak. The strength and quantity of evidence that Lim offers to support his claims raises the question of “Why did everyone else ignore this?” Lim’s disregard for the
“Lim defies expectations in his equal criticisms of the East as well as the West in this analysis.” preservation of the fabricated legacy of Spies, in pursuit of a deeper examination of Spies’ works, borders on roguishness, but he lacks the malice that many of his peer-critics attribute to him. Lim addresses the controversial nature of his inquiries and research, quoting a German professor
who told him that he would “stop to compose and become a peasant” if Spies’ homosexual relationships were the primary inspiration for kecak. The originality of Lim’s analyses, evident from the backlash from his peers when researching Spies, is a major strength of his book, offering a new perspective that has gone unexamined for decades. When Lim switches his focus to Singapore, he examines the relationship between the gay men of Singapore and the government of Singapore. For a more conservative reader, this part of Lim’s book may be a hard pill to swallow. The right-wing viewpoint is notoriously dismissive of anti-West, anti-heterosexual rhetoric, and Lim, in his ruthless objectivity, includes some of these elements. Lim asserts that the relationships between colonizers/colonized and European man/ Asian boy are analogous to the relationship between the Singaporean government and the gay citizens of Singapore. Lim defies expectations in his equal criticisms of the East as well as the West in this analysis. He denounces Singapore’s hypocrisy as it continues to defend Victorian-era laws that prohibit homosexual sodomy, while simultaneously accepting and embracing the growth of gay bars, clubs, and other similarly related queer spaces. The fairness of Lim’s analyses is indicated by his criticisms of both the imperialist West and the colonized East. As a whole piece, Brown Boys and Rice Queens is well-crafted, intriguing, and sophisticated; however, there are a number of weaknesses that take away from the strength of his argument. The most impairing of these weaknesses is the inaccessibility of the book due to the writing style and language. Lim’s target audience is undoubtedly academics with similar interests and academic experience as him. As someone who has littleto-no knowledge of theater or gender and sexuality studies, I had to learn a great deal about those topics elsewhere before I could even finish reading the introduction. While Lim’s analysis is certainly elevated by his impressive diction, it is also rendered inaccessible to many potential readers of different academic backgrounds than his own. Lim likely did not intend for people outside of his academic realm to read this book, and therefore he wrote in a style that was best suited for sharing academic work with the people in that realm. Despite this well-justified intention, there is definitely merit in crafting an argument that people outside
of the intended audience can understand to some degree of proficiency, something that Lim fails to do. When reading an academic paper or book, there is an expectation of a certain degree of seriousness and decency. While Lim exceeds these expectations for the vast majority of his book, he breaks from seriousness a few times and makes unnecessary innuendos that create a cringe-worthy awkwardness that damages the effectiveness of his argument. For example, he begins the conclusion of his second chapter with this metaphor: “As a pornographic trope, Asian Boys straddles white colonial desire for ethnic men on the one leg, and autoexotic display of Asian sensuality on the other leg. In such a position, as queer straddling practices go, the paradox infuses the fantasy of the ‘legs wide open’ native boy with the overachieving ethos of a modern Asian state trying to be sexy.” While the “pornographic trope” does make sense, it is simply inappropriate, even for a book that discusses fetishized Asian men, homoeroticism, and Western expatriate pedophiles. After the initial chuckle from the cleverness of the metaphor, a rush of discomfort ensues because of its position in an academic analysis otherwise adhering to a level of seriousness that does not accommodate “dirty humor.” Brown Boys and Rice Queens is definitely not my typical “book to read by the fireplace during a cold, Massachusetts winter,” but I was pleasantly surprised. As a spry millennial homosexual from a state with a vibrant queer community, I have been exposed to a handful of theatrical performances and drag shows with varying degrees of queerness. However, at the time that I chose to read Brown Boys and Rice Queens, I had little interest in reading about “a transnational study of Asian performance shaped by the homoerotics of orientalism.” Lim’s depth and originality in his analyses transformed my dismissive view of the book to genuine interest. His ability to turn a critic into an admirer should be credited. Lim’s exploration of sexuality, performance, and imperialism offers a nuanced viewpoint that conservatives often dismiss. However, in reading this book, I have found that it has informed my conservative political and social views. To be blunt, I would recommend this book to the intellectual conservative in pursuit of ideas that challenge their preconceived notions about queer culture.
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Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life
GILMORE GIRLS: A YEAR IN THE LIFE by Amy Sherman-Palladino (Netflix, 2016)
Brian Chen
Executive Editor Emeritus Background Almost no one realized it at the time, but Gilmore Girls was one of the most brilliant shows on the air. Set in the picturesque New England setting of Stars Hollow, Connecticut, the show followed a mother-daughter pair who were best friends first and mother and daughter second. It was a charming story, made all the richer by its Aaron Sorkin, West Wing-style dialogue, replete with pop culture references and all. Contemporaneously with being on air, the show was well regarded, but it never captured the popular imagination in the way shows like Game of Thrones do today. That would come later. At the time, there was a prejudice against shows on minor networks, and having Mr. Chen is a senior at the College and an Executive Editor Emeritus at The Dartmouth Review.
two female leads did not help either. Unfortunately, Gilmore Girls had an ignominious end. At the end of the sixth season, series creator Amy Sherman-Palladino left the show after a contract dispute. Much like The West Wing after Aaron Sorkin, the show declined in quality and the remaining writers were simply unable to replicate the show’s idiosyncratic style of dialogue. Sherman-Palladino famously wanted to end the series with four words. With her gone, they were left unheard. The promise of those four legendary words left fans yearning for more. Since ending its original run in 2007, Gilmore Girls gained a second life in reruns and especially on Netflix. The eminently bingeable show became increasingly popular while the Gilmore Guys podcast broke down the series’ gender skew. With an unfinished story providing a strong impetus, all the ingredients for a successful
continuation were there. After years of flirtation with the concept, the Netflix revival became official in October 2015. Details started to leak out. The revival would be structured as miniseries with four 90-minute episodes, each one representing a season. Almost all of the original cast would return. It would be titled Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life. And we would finally hear those last four words. Four Seasons and Three Generations of Gilmore A Year in the Life picks up in “Winter” as the eponymous Gilmore girls, Rory (Alexis Bledel) and Lorelai (Lauren Graham) reunite. Rory returns to Stars Hollow, and Lorelai immediately whisks her away on a town tour. Time has passed, but Stars Hollow feels charmingly stuck in time. Selectman Taylor Doose (Michael Winters) is still campaigning for the latest town improvement, Miss Patty (Liz Torres)
is still teaching dance at her school which doubles as a town hall, and Kirk (Sean Gunn) still performs every odd job known to man. Lorelai is still running the Dragonfly Inn with Michel (Yanic Truesdale), who is as grumpy and sour as ever. Even Lorelai’s complicated relationship with Luke Danes (Scott Patterson) is in stasis, with neither of them mentioning marriage or children despite living with each other all these years. It takes the four seasons of A Year in the Life to bring a world of change. The complexity that started to emerge in the later seasons of the original series comes into full bloom by “Spring.” Part of that complexity is the culmination of the ongoing, slow-motion character assassination of Rory. At the beginning of the original series, Rory is portrayed as Stars Hollows’ golden child. Despite coming from humble roots, having been raised by a single teenage mother in Lorelai, she is admitted to Chilton, a prestigious prep school. Her most notable quality is her love of books, and she later graduates as class valedictorian. That perfect façade had to come crumbling down at some point, and the trouble starts after she heads off to Yale, her grandfather’s alma mater. In part catalyzed by her relationship with the wealthy Logan Huntzberger (Matt Czuchry), her bratty and entitled side comes through. Among other misdeeds, she steals a yacht with Logan, loses her virginity to her married ex-boyfriend Dean (Jared Padalecki), and quits Yale in a tantrum when Logan’s father says that she does not have what it takes to become a journalist. Still, she ends up pulling it all together by the end of the original series, graduating with honors from Yale and getting a job covering President Barack Obama’s first presidential campaign. In “Winter,” we find out that Rory’s career has stalled. At age
attempts to reschedule a perpetually delayed meeting with Condé Nast to no avail. By “Spring,” she hits rock bottom. We learn that Logan, whom she is sleeping with, is engaged to another woman. With her book project falling apart, she ends up calling in a favor from Logan’s father to get the Condé Nast meeting. Nothing definitive comes of it, but she is given a potential story idea that she pursues. She falls asleep while interviewing a source and ends up sleeping with another who happens to be dressed in a Wookie costume. In short, she is a terrible journalist. Left with few remaining options, she swallows her pride and interviews with SandeeSays, a Millennials-focused startup (think BuzzFeed) that she thinks is below her. To her humiliation, she fails to get the job when she is unable to name a single story idea during her interview. Many fans have complained about Rory’s slow descent into an unlikeable character, but her development makes sense in the grand scheme of Sherman-Palladino’s universe. Sherman-Palladino demands a degree of realism in her characters—a fact that becomes crystal clear by the end of “Fall”; the perfect edifice of Rory’s early years simply could not last. Moreover, Rory’s arc has unique resonance for her generation. Like many Millennials, Rory ends up moving back home. During the hazy days of “Summer,” she wanders aimlessly while taking over the Stars Hollow Gazette for no pay to keep it alive. For those who find Rory’s arc unfulfilling, Lorelai completes hers in a more traditional way. Over the four seasons, she grapples with the question of expanding her successful but tiny inn. She explores the possibility of having children with Luke, which leads to hilarious encounters with the ever-intense Paris Geller (Liza Weil), who now runs a fertility clinic.
“A Year in the Life, with its smart development and completion of the character arcs of the three generation of Gilmores, is certainly well done. The storytelling is brilliant, the cinematography is beautiful, the acting is wonderful, the direction is on-point, and the soundtrack fits the mood as always.” 32, she lives a vagabond existence as a freelance journalist whose crowning achievement is a short New Yorker article. Without stable employment or a real home, she begins a book project with the eccentric Naomi Shropshire (Alex Kingston) in London while staying at Logan’s apartment there. She also
Once she closes that possibility, she has something of a mid-life crisis in “Summer,” deciding to take a few weeks to hike the Pacific Crest Trail despite her hatred of nature. When she actually attempts to do so, she is delayed and then derailed, eventually reaching an epiphany about where she wants to
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FEATURES
Defying Expectations take her life. This hiking diversion is a bit cliché, and given Lorelai’s character, a bit strange as well. Nonetheless, it works and drives the plot forward. In “Fall,” she patches up her troubled relationship with her mother Emily (Kelly Bishop), finally marries Luke, and decides to expand the Dragonfly to keep the overqualified and restless Michel onboard. Despite the sunshine and daisies, Lorelai’s ending just feels right rather than too picture-perfect. Her long journey filled with years of turbulence with Luke, her parents, and even occasionally Rory means that her ultimate satisfaction in life is well-deserved. The contrast with Rory’s character development could have been jarring, but the juxtaposition serves Sherman-Palladino’s aim of realism. Someone, but not everyone, has to get a happy ending. While A Year in the Life’s portrayal of Rory is controversial and its portrayal of Lorelai perhaps uneven, Sherman-Palladino writes Emily particularly well. Indeed, her character development is deeply satisfying as she struggles with the passing of her husband Richard (Edward Hermann, who has passed since the airing of the original series). The original series occasionally forgot that the term “Gilmore girls” is inclusive of all three generations
of Gilmore, sometimes resulting in Emily lacking the depth and development she deserved. A Year in the Life more than rectifies this oversight while honoring Richard’s (and Hermann’s) memory. It deftly weaves Emily’s story into Lorelai’s, and consequently Rory’s. In “Winter,” Friday night dinner returns, except Emily and Lorelai’s relationship has chilled on account of Lorelai’s unintentional misbehavior at Richard’s wake. Years of resentment come bubbling to the surface. In “Spring,” Emily and Lorelai end up in therapy, which is of course useless, together. Emily is still grieving over Richard’s death in “Summer.” Meanwhile, Rory’s ex-boyfriend Jess (Milo Ventimiglia) tells her to write a book about her relationship with Lorelai. Lorelai initially resists this idea, leading to a rare but vicious fight between the two best friends, but eventually accedes. In a last tribute to Richard, Rory begins writing the book in his study during “Fall,” which is also when everything begins to come full circle. Emily finally reconciles with Lorelai, who tells her a touching story of spending her thirteenth birthday with her father. (Emily asked her for a fond anecdote of Richard at the wake, and Lorelai then babbled something insulting and incoherent.) Then, Emily flames out of
the Daughters of the American Revolution in a spectacular fashion. She trades a comically large portrait of Richard for a more reasonably sized version. Then, she moves to Nantucket,
bright. While the revival will certainly surprise and delight, there is plenty of room for shocking revelations and tears as well. In between “Spring” and
“Time has passed, but Stars Hollow feels charmingly stuck in time.” finally moving past Richard’s death and their Hartford home. Before she leaves, she lends Lorelai money to expand her inn in exchange for her visiting Nantucket, harkening back to the series’ pilot. With Luke and Lorelai wed, Emily and Lorelai having repaired their relationship, and Rory pushing forward with her memoir, we hear the last four words: a conversation between Rory and Lorelai. Verdict A Year in the Life was one of 2016’s most anticipated television series. Sequels, continuations, and revivals are more and more common in the age of Netflix, but they often underwhelm, offering little more than nostalgia. A Year in the Life defies expectations in more than one way—and it delivers. Be forewarned, however. Netflix’s promotional materials would have you believe that A Year in the Life would be all comedy and no drama. Their tone is uniformly cheerful and
BACK IN TOWN Rory and Lorelai stroll past the center of Stars Hollow in “Summer.”
“Summer,” the plot meanders, but the pieces fall into place by the end. How I Met Your Mother famously shoehorned an outdated ending onto its nine season run, polarizing fans. A Year in the Life does not make the same mistake, despite keeping four words, conceived so long ago, as the ending. Regarding those last four words, they are completely shocking, but they are not out of place. With the depth of character development in the revival, the implications of those four words have changed. As such, they do not feel mismatched with the times. Of course, A Year in the Life is filled with callbacks to the original series. All of the quirky Stars Hollow characters return, as does the Life and Death Brigade in a spectacular scene. Lorelai and Rory still eat unreal amounts of food, yet manage to stay thin. The show’s characteristic banter and humor remain omnipresent. Even in genuinely bizarre asides such as the Stars Hollow musical, the revival keeps its charm.
Of course, those who have seen the original series and are already emotionally invested in the characters will best be able to appreciate the revival. Nevertheless, the richness of the plot and characters offers plenty for everyone. A Year in the Life, with its smart development and completion of the character arcs of the three generation of Gilmores, is certainly well done. The storytelling is brilliant, the cinematography is beautiful, the acting is wonderful, the direction is on-point, and the soundtrack fits the mood as always. It built upon the foundation of original series and become more than it ever could have been. Sherman-Palladino’s vision for A Year in the Life was not the one she had for the ending of the original series, but it proves to be the right one. Many fans are hoping that the story of A Year in the Life continues, owing to the cliffhanger of the last four words and Rory’s unresolved romantic entanglements. While there may be perfunctory plot and story remaining, the Gilmores’ character arcs have completed and, indeed, come full circle, as A Year in the Life likes to point out. The page is not yet written, but it does not matter what it will read. Perhaps being left to imagine is the best ending of all.
14 Monday – January 16, 2017
The Dartmouth Review
FEATURES
A Prognosis for the Rust Belt
HILLBILLY ELEGY: A MEMOIR OF A FAMILY AND CULTURE IN CRISIS by J.D. Vance (Harper Press; 264 p.p.)
Marcus J. Thompson
Managing Editor
Scrolling through post-election headlines, it is nearly impossible not to find countless think-pieces written by the left-leaning (or in some cases, right-leaning) media dedicated to explaining Donald Trump’s victory by the grace of the “white working-class.” While some articles address the dark side of globalization and a general sense of decline, others condemn white Americans living in the Rust Belt as racists emboldened by President-Elect Trump’s pledges for increased border security and a refreshing disregard for suffocatingly strict political correctness. Yet despite analysts’ best intentions, their emphasis on the economic superstructure driving working-class whites to support Donald Trump might be shalMr. Thompson is a sophomore at the College and a Managing Editor at The Dartmouth Review.
low analysis, or so asserts JD Vance in his book “Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis.” Vance, the fatherless hillbilly with an addicted mother turned Yale Law School graduate and National Review contributor, recalls his endless slew of father figures, a domestic life rife with verbal and occasionally physical abuse, and ultimately how he found success with the help of familial stability. Vance’s anecdotal style is full of dark humor and amusing tales of hillbilly America. At one point he recalls his gun-toting grandmother, “Mamaw” serving his drunk grandfather, “Papaw,” trash, and later dousing him with gasoline after he failed to live up to her ultimatum of giving up alcohol. While some readers may laugh at Vance’s stories, beneath these vignettes are the incredibly negative effects of such chaotic domestic life on children. His mother, the most controversial figure in his life, suffered from an abusive household and a teenage
pregnancy; enough to set any child behind. Yet “Aunt Wee,” his mother’s sister, was able to escape such a life despite the same circumstances. The successes and failures of himself and his family members take a central role, but he also brings
“Vance’s memoir holds a candle to the plight of hillbillies. ” in statistics to expand on his experiences. Vance’s harshest observations stem from the hypocrisy he saw in his community. Hillbillies profess their religiosity but do not attend church, rail against “welfare queens” while speaking on their government-bought cell phone, and maintain a fierce and sometimes violent loyalty to family without fixing domestic turmoil that drains upward mobility from their households. Exploring these inconvenient truths is what lays
at the heart of Vance’s conservatism, and is perhaps the root cause of the Rust Belt flipping from loyal union Democratic voters to Republicans quickly. Vance recalls the injustice he felt as a teenager working as a cashier at a supermarket witnessing customers gaming the welfare system before turning around and lamenting freeloaders taking from the system. The lack of self-awareness, or denial, is remarkable. The problems Vance exposes are cultural. Perhaps government assistance keeps many members of his community from destitution, but the issues raised in “Hillbilly Elegy” condemn the welfare state in its current form. It’s not temporary. And it’s not a viable option in fixing the problems of the white underclass. Vance’s prognosis follows from the cultural issues at the heart of these woes. His own miracle was rooted in the power family. Early on in high school, Vance was failing; not because he was dumb, but due to his incredibly dissonant domestic life. Vance credits his remarkable turnaround to his hardened hillbilly grandmother: Mamaw. While his domestic life was still unorthodox, Vance was in an environment that provided both encouragement and stability. Given this, he was able to enroll at Ohio State University, but not before taking a crucial detour. Another focal point in Vance’s memoir is the power of the military in building maturity, responsibility, and confidence. Deferring his acceptance at Ohio State, Vance enlisted in the Marine Corps and served four years in public affairs. Learning leadership and earning the respect of his community are immediate benefits, but the value of his service proved to be far greater than he could’ve expected. He was taken care of: ordered to the infirmary when sick, supervised by a non-commissioned officer when buying his first car, and, and taught proper nutrition and fitness. In his own words, Vance felt invincible in college, a mentality that translated into graduating early with a double major Summa Cum Laude. Vance’s service in the Marine Corps marks a point in his memoir where his story because more unique and personalized as a result. Drawing fewer conclusions surrounding his personal experiences, he instead focuses on his observations: his culture shock at Yale, navigating new social faux pas around elite lawyers, and falling in love with his eventual wife. The Marines gave him much maturity, but he does not touch the subject of declining national service in America. Similarly, Vance recalls struggling socializing with classmates inculcated in upper
class rituals, yet does not assess the effects of networking or connections that may leave the underprivileged out. In the latest election, both major candidates focused on job creation in America’s Rust Belt. President-elect Trump endorsed tariffs and a crackdown on Chinese currency manipulation while Secretary Clinton proposed killing the coal industry while installing clean power jobs directly in the Rust Belt. “Hillbilly Elegy” takes the conversation in a different direction. While Vance acknowledges that economic success would help, he believes the problem goes deeper than money. Instead, he recalls somewhat of an aversion to hard work. When working a well-paying job at a tile company before law school, Vance remembered a man fresh out of high school with a pregnant wife. Even with every incentive to provide for his family, the man would miss at least one day a week and disappear for hours when he was working. When the man was finally fired, he exploded at his boss, seeming to take no responsibility for his actions. Vance benefits from his status as a cultural insider not seeking election. He can diagnose his community’s problems from within and hold a mirror to hypocrisy. Vance’s memoir holds a candle to the plight of hillbillies: perhaps the only group in America that one may scorn as “trash” without earning social exile. Regardless of our ability to relate to his story, “Hillbilly Elegy” is a reminder that in an age of expecting more from our government, true change does not come from policy, but from cultural shifts starting at the most basic building block of our civilization: the family. Vance’s story and perspective endorse a more organic approach to problem solving. The superstructure of our society can only impact us so much. No welfare check, school voucher, or food stamp can solve the breakdown of the family unit that plagued Vance’s community. I am reminded of William Ernest Henley’s “Invictus” when reflecting on the messages of “Hillbilly Elegy”: “It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.” Vance certainly does not ignore the disadvantages he and his community face, but his prognosis is rooted in American values. These values are perhaps best exemplified by the best of Appalachia: individual responsibility, a commitment to community, and above all the power of family. We must work to restore these values throughout the United States if we are to solve the issues plaguing our nation.
The Dartmouth Review
Monday – January 16, 2017 15
REVIEW REVIEWS
The Review Reviews Sushi Ya
CLOSE UP OF A ROLL offered by the restaurant, courtesy of their website
Sheriff Rick Grimes Pablo Goldwater Winnie the Pooh Vercingetorix
daily!! No flavor enhancer like MSG is added to your dishes and only the freshest ingredient is being used to prepare your food.” Being the experienced gourmets that they are, this initial disclaimer is a positive sign for the gang that SushiYa is dedicated to providing the best possible culinary experience. Goldwater, however, is a tad dismayed: “Why should they even have to specify? Shouldn’t this be a given?” Soon after the gang’s orders are taken, the appetizers and miso soup are brought out. Sushiya provides on-the-house snacks for its in-house diners, a more than welcome amenity. The small bowls contain an assortment of traditional Japanese samples, including kimchi, bean sprouts, rice noodles, broccoli, and beans. The miso soup is, of course, a
bles deep fried in light bat- slightly and tastes fresh. The be. The other half of Pablo’s ter, $6.95), the tri-color sushi salmon is slathered in the Asian fusion dinner is the su(3 pcs tuna, 2 pcs yellow tail, restaurant’s delicious sweet shi: 2 pieces of scallop nigiri, 3 pcs salmon & California and tangy teriyaki sauce. Af- and 1 yellowtail scallion maki. Contributors maki, $16.95), and the Hama- ter his meal, Winnie the Pooh Both are delicious, particularAfter a long and cold winchi Tempura Maki (Yellowtail, could not resist ordering a ly the nigiri. After finishing ter break, the Review is back scallion, avocado crab stick, second round of Miso soup, his meal, Pablo is unable to once again with a restaurant tobiko and tempura w. spicy which was brought to him refrain from partaking of varreview for your reading and mayo and eel sauce, $11.95). quickly, steaming hot, and ious selections from his fellow eating pleasure. This time, The vegetable tempura is ex- on-the-house. Winnie noted diners’ meals, going so far as the gang attends a traditional pertly fried, with a perfect that such excellent food and to eat the pickled ginger from Japanese (and Korean) meal at crisp around the assorted service is typical of the estab- the Sheriff ’s sushi plate. This Hanover’s iconic SushiYa, the vegetables, which include lishment. also subtly annoys his dining only restaurant in town caterbell peppers, sweet SushiYa proves to be one of Ha- companions, but ing to this interesting niche. potatoes, onions, again their sense of Tried-and-true veteran Sherand broccoli. The nover’s finer establishments, pro- inherent honor is iff Rick Grimes leads the ragtri-color sushi viding a quality service for an ap- overcome by their tag group of Reviewers, which proves to be an social timidity. We propriate price. include the experienced barideal sampling of live in sad times barian Vercingetorix, Pablo traditional nigiri, along with Pablo Goldwater, not when men who would in other Goldwater, and Winnie the the perfectly crafted yet tra- known for his love of fusion eras have stood up for themPooh. The gang is also joined ditionally simple California cuisine, nonetheless chooses selves at the slightest insult by a nameless, silent monk, roll. Vercingetorix also opts to combine an order of Japa- remain quiet after indigniwho keeps behind his hood for the tri-color sushi, and af- nese sushi with Korean bibim- ty upon indignity is piled up for the entire dinner. Needless firms similar satisfaction. The bap. He orders the Kopdol bi- upon them. We live in an age to say, the Reviewers’ empty Hamachi roll, however, spices bimbap with Salmon ($14.95) of men without chests. Conbellies have a hankering for things up a bit, providing a de- served in a heated stone bowl, templating thusly, Goldwater some gourmet licious, more sa- the contents of which are finished his meal. sushi, so they Being the experienced gourmets that vory edge to the not only delicious, but also As the hooded monk finishtake their seats they are, this initial disclaimer is a experience. By consist of a balanced mix of es his ambiguous shrimp temat the table and the time the soy protein, carbohydrates, and pura dish, he does nothing begin their de- positive sign for the gang that SushiYa sauce is drained, healthy fats. The dish consists but nod silently. The rest of lectable trek up is dedicated to providing the best pos- the Sheriff is of various assorted vegetables, the group takes this as a decMount Fuji. left wholly im- salmon, egg, and brown rice. laration of satisfaction. sible culinary experience. SushiYa’s ofpressed by the While enjoying his food, PabAs the gang of five takes ficial menu tagline reads “We welcome addition as well. Not sushi chef ’s expertise. lo makes sure to virtue-signal their leave, they reflect on specialize in Japanese and Ko- too hot, but also not too cold, To his glee, Winnie the to the rest of the group about their latest culinary escarean cuisines. We carefully se- the flavorful soup contains Pooh’s meal is one of the first how healthy his food choices pade. SushiYa proves to be lect our ingredients, prepare healthy portions of seaweed to be brought out. Doing away are. Although this habit irri- one of Hanover’s finer estabour food in an authentic way and melt-in-your-mouth tofu: with social niceties, he tucks tates his dining companions, lishments, providing a qualiand make our dishes fresh a certified A+ from miso en- into his Salmon Teriyaki unfortunately they lack the ty service for an appropriate thusiast Winnie the Pooh. ($15.95), which is brought out social courage to call him out price. With the only other Sheriff Rick Grimes’ mouth on a hot stone plate nestled in on it, and continue to eat their Japanese options being DDS’ Sheriff Grimes, Mr. Goldwater, Mr. waters as the waiter brings a wooden frame. It is a perfect meal stewing in suppressed premade Roslin sushi, SushiPooh, and Vercingetorix are contribuover his Japanese feast. His winter dish. The stone plate indignation and a niggling Ya easily takes the cake for tors to the Review and only the latter meal includes a portion of keeps the fish hot, so each sense that their sense of self- Hanover’s premier purveyor two prefer to add wasabi to their sushi vegetable tempura (Vegeta- bite scalds the tongue ever so worth isn’t where it should of far-east Asian fare. rolls.
16 Monday – January 16, 2017
The Dartmouth Review
THE LAST WORD GORDON HAFF’S
COMPILED BY HARRY WHITTINGTON POTTER
“Inge has been a key member of the… team, serving in numerous roles since the day she arrived at Dartmouth, always finding a way to make a positive difference in the lives of students. Her ideas and her concern for students will be missed.” — Provost Dever “Based on semi-structured interviews with seven African American, seven Latino, seven Asian American and seven white undergraduates.” — All research for Inge-Lise Ameer’s 2002 Harvard Doctoral Thesis, Day-to-day race relations at Harvard College: The Student Perspective “Students of color face nervous and awkward moments with white students who have little skills or strategies for living daily in a racially diverse community.” — Excerpt from Inge-Lise Ameer’s 2002 Harvard Doctoral Thesis, Day-to-day race relations at Harvard College: The Student Perspective “There’s a whole conservative world out there that’s not very nice.” —Dean Ameer “I’m going to... talk to IT, again, about identifying people on Yik Yak. I want to be clear with you, I’ve been told there’s no way to do it. But I’ll try again.” —Dean Ameer “I’m going to read through the Freedom Budget again.” —Dean Ameer
“I need to have a monthly meeting with student leaders from groups in this room [diversity groups], I need to meet with them directly, not use any middle people. We need to make a plan.” —Dean Ameer “I heard there is not enough money for students of color organizations to do planning, so… Provost [Dever] and I will be putting together new resources for those organizations.” —Dean Ameer “The protest was a wonderful, beautiful thing.” —Dean Ameer “It was a wonderful peaceful march of unity, nothing like what they [national news outlets] are talking about.” —Dean Ameer “What I need though, and I’m going to really put it out now, I don’t have any Safety and Security reports from Thursday! If somebody hurts you, or if someone slams a door in your face, or calls you a terrible name, I need you to file a report, so that I can act on it. All I have is hearsay. I know it’s scary to file a report, but we will protect you. We always have, and we always will. So please do that, and then I will help you.” —Dean Ameer “With... [trumped-up S&S reports, Ameer can] adjudicate those students that are doing things in any way that are threatening.”” —Dean Ameer
“We’re on Yik Yak all the time and we’re constantly contacting them: ‘Please take this down. Please do this. Stop doing this.” —Dean Ameer “Dartmouth students care a lot about their experience, what it means to be a Dartmouth student, and I think we’re taking those things to the next level in this process.” —Dean Ameer “What I love about the new house system is that everybody belongs. I hope that that will lead to more integration in social life and build stronger communities.” —Dean Ameer “I feel like I’m a strong advocate for students.” —Dean Ameer “Dean Ameer uses an umbrella to block the sun.” —Yik Yak “Dean Ameer got rejected from Cornell.” “There is nothing to fear but Ameer herself.”
—Yik Yak —Yik Yak
“Dean Ameer thinks that Confessions of an Ivy League Frat Boy is a Great American Novel.” —Yik Yak “Dean Ameer Good Sams her roommate after one beer just to be on the safe side.” —Yik Yak
BARRETT’S MIXOLOGY
2020: Ameer’s Dartmouth Ingredients
• Banned hard alcohol
Dear Old Dartmouth, It is with great sadness that I write to you about the situation on the ground at Dartmouth College, the once great College on the Hill… In 2018, Vice Provost for Student Affairs Inge-Lise Ameer ascended to the Wheelock Succession as the first ever President of Student Affairs, owing to Ameer’s dedication and expertise in the aforementioned area. Jim Kim and Carol Folt have been appointed as Chair and Vice Chair of the Board of Trustees, respectively. The Senior Vice Provosts, who number in the hundreds, hold regular meetings with RealTalkMatters, BlackLivesBudgeters, and other groups after their daily protests. At a recent town hall, President Ameer appeared receptive to increasing the frequency of these meetings to hourly—but only during business hours, lest administrators ever have to work late. President Ameer’s Safe Space Security patrols campus looking for triggers and microaggressions. Meanwhile, any macroaggression would trigger an immediate response from the new Bias Incident Response Team, commonly known as SWAT in other parts of the country. In academics, Dartmouth leads the country with a ten course Core Curriculum in diversity, inclusion, social justice, and intersectionality. A recent poll by The New York Times demonstrates that 99% of Dartmouth students are able to name
all 68 genders by the time they graduate. Upon learning of this polling, President Ameer expressed grave concern that not every student was able to name all the genders. Ze is now considering replacing the ableist swim test with a comprehensive assessment on gender and sexuality. The Economics Department is under increasing duress for its contrarian views. Longtime Professor [RE-
DACTED] is being persecuted for the views expressed in the latest iteration of his finance course. He was recently charged with 17 counts of microaggression and 3 unwarned triggers, as well as the exceptionally egregious violations of “supporting an oppressive, kyriarchal capitalist worldview” and “being a part of a conservative world that is not very nice.” Professor [REDACTED] is faring little better. He has faced scrutiny for
his alleged “insensitivity to people oppressed by imperial industrialists” and “lack of solidarity with the working people of this country” in supporting free trade. President Ameer has already ordered all copies of his book burned. Even Professor [REDACTED] was under investigation for using the classist triggers “rich” and “poor.” He, however, chose to resign rather than face President Ameer’s High Inquisition.
Many students were upset at the continued presence of businesses on Main Street Hanover despite the continuous efforts to regulate them out of existence. As such, President Ameer moved to steamroll the town’s zoning laws, claiming that they were illegitimate on the grounds that they were built upon false capitalist constructs and did not properly recognize Hanover as Abenaki land. Sensing an opportunity, ze has rezoned all of Main Street Hanover into one large gender-neutral bathroom, declaring it to be the greatest innovation since zoning’s invention in 1916. The year is 2020. A heroic effort was made by those who believe in Dartmouth and the great state of New Hampshire to save this College. Paul LePage, the pugnacious Maine Governor, relocated to New Hampshire and became the 82nd Governor of New Hampshire in a come-from-behind victory. No stranger to throwing his weight around in education, he joined with Senators Bob Smith and Bill O’Brien while exercising his power as an ex officio trustee of Dartmouth. But it was to no avail. Hanover asserted its independence from the State of New Hampshire, and Governor LePage was barred from the town by the highly militarized but nontriggering and diversity- and inclusivity-trained Safe Space Security. It is a sad time for Dartmouth indeed, so we drink to that. Yours very truly, Samuel L. Prescott