loss my rinses speech mince less rose chin spore pen lo my rine peech loss my rinss spch moss ly spinses reech lyss mo reenses spich ssol ym sesnir hceeps lossol mym rinsesnir speechceeps ssoloss ymy sesnirinses hceepspeech vanessa couto johnson
speech rinse vanessa couto johnson
speech rinse
Published by Slope Editions Š 2016 Vanessa Couto Johnson. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without permission of the publisher. Book design and cover: Dallin Law
what language does(n’t) { : elegy for bilinguality & ________ } portuguese from a tv in texas
grandfather thinks he’s in manaus
me: no, you cannot walk home home cannot you home no walk you cannot his ice brain sleek in his hairloss head to him
he loses what I say and asks again
someday my name
will be empty
… my tongue slugs my tone lugs my gone glue …
5
of childhood I am mis taken toes of texas hand of amazonia biggest states continental cross
loss my rinses speech
body pull pool what is the form what is the from I saw texas stumbled brasil stumbled texas
chin spore pen
mince less rose
lo my rine peech
pigeoned mouth pidgin body heavy of message
loss my rinss spch
‌ it took me ten years to consciously decide to resist a language to take english and let it get between my teeth I bit
adhered
savored singular
rinsing my mouth
doesn’t
speech rinses
6
mean
consistency
I lose speech my loss
moss ly
spinses
reech
lyss mo reenses spich
ssol ym sesnir hceeps lossol mym rinsesnir ssoloss
speechceeps
ymy sesnirinses
hceepspeech
7
cognate chronoillogic
tu ja pensou
my mom calls my grandfather the time machine
this is not
he watches wrist lunch
numbers his hours
soap opera
I close questions
my door so I hear
texan barbecue asks
I type
no questions
is not brasil
he is suspicious
me if I like
so I can spell
shower
thought this
they are the same
but he is
same statements
for mother’s
the cloned
words
what he is
can grip
of the wax brown paper
this kind
to forget portuguese
which my mom tells
8
arms still
asking wristwatch removed for shower
about here in brasil but this
in other
time to nap
his long
he says
fifteen times a day have you already thought
asking
this is not my lunch
is not the a sameness
approach
but yes
I have already
this is not my door
same
grandfather
as each
hour is to him
of segmented
wet clicking
tautology
day we eat as plate
of food
in google
escequecimento him he has each meal
9
tautology clicking wet segmented of approach cloned the
ygolotuat gnikcilc tew detnemges fo
approachcaorppa clonedenolc theht ygolotuatautology gnikcilclicking tewet detnemgesegmented fof hcaorppapproach denolcloned ehthe
clock tack set
clicking
tautoogy cicking tauting
10
we
segmened
wet segmented
clickology weed segment
claukology ticting
denolc eht
tautologygolotuat clickingnikcilc wetew segmentedetnemges ofo
lone poach dew
auology
hcaorppa
set
of
approach
cloned
he
of
approach
coned
the
och
approaf clothed ne
wegmented proof apach choned tle
11
lingua declarific I made
a point of
little portuguese three weeks
telling
mouths of trust the is this is it what know I before
you I used
in my poems
only as rare
as my steaks
truth moth
hat
you say
a poem of mine
needs portuguese
room
rust
later
now
as salty as
bacalhau
you bring
a mortar and pestle
muths f
to the table
it could be
from anywhere
you say
mouhs of rus
it’s granite I think I lift
but you call
the pestle
of the mortar
a gavel see dust
it jade
phallic
leaves desiccated
call nothing
you can
say caipirinha
cachaça
you make
a point of
south america
12
what it is
and eye the curve
maybe crisp
which you
before I know
brasil
this is
the is this is
it what knw I befre
he
is his is
i
wha know I before
most
of truuth this ie this it
is
wow khat o befire
more
ot trusf
shtuom fo tsurt
of importance clear
trust
thing for the mouth which I dine
on
tse
ih iis
ths wt ihat kniw o befouths
eht si siht si
ti tahw wonk I erofeb
mouthshtuom ofo trustsurt theht isi thisiht isi iti whatahw knowonk I beforerofeb shtuomouths fof tsurtrust ehthe sis sihthis sis tit tahwhat wonknow I erofebefore
the trust of mouths
13
glossoepiglottic when he held
my hips and said
this was my grandfather with dementia to just cheek
when you
you hushed I should
so I turned my head
not have let
I thought
I began to tell
my mouth with
not get to
could not get
to tell
the tongue is a stray divert
feeding on simplicity
do not
do not think this
condense me
behind my teeth
is an infinity
maybe you
back
or maybe the classic calculus
me
I thought
you were telling
it was an adjacent
thing
solid not soft like speech
the tangents wreck
on my chin
I nod
14
but I did
and liked your lines
is accessibility
I forward
you of my grandfather
yours
you quiet
it wasn’t a silence
move laterally
he liked me
then walked away
held my hips
yes I too
I wish to
so many
add
yes I too
people have
maybe your back
does revolution
those same numbers instinct redundant like the solid but
there’s more to say
no problem
saying nothing
my head two days later
15
nothing saying problem no have people many so
apologia soporific
probe thing not
and then I am
blame said golem
and then I
I am
and then
tired of being
silent for
n
have peple many s
they
othig
o
have people may
when can I listen
problem
so
isn’t being probing naying sothing
gnihton
saying nothlem
no
pave
hablem
no
prove peonle mapy
gniyas
melborp
on
heople ma
evah
sony so
elpoep ynam os
nothingnihton sayingniyas problemelborp non havevah peoplelpoep manynam sos
for children can a man shut
when is speech
women
have
children
for myself
to a man
hear but not what is said
listen what is meant
isn’t speech
men
what loud being children
can a shut being and then
for a man
to myself
I am to
meant for
men women
myself
am loud
I am loud
nthing saying prblem sayig
silent for
meant
can a woman shut can a being shut
or mean
I am
tired
for myself
gnihtonothing gniyasaying melborproblem ono evahave elpoepeople ynamany oso 16
17
myself for tired am I then and
polylingua aphasiastic
fort dire meat
I told
them tan man
with frequency
you
for
tired
a
I
then and
mix language
mysl or tird am I thn and
I thought
myred for tiself am I thend an morelf fys timed ar e thin and
my english
flesym rof derit ma I neht dna myselflesym forof tirederit ama I theneht andna flesymyself
18
rofor deritired mam I
afraid they
nehthen dnand
will not
to not
understand mixed language
but language requires
to consistency
with frequency
afraid
wanted
has german if I don’t
mixes you
you wanted that stopped
now
I was ten
consistency
are inconsistent
my portuguese
before
consistency
language required
you
stopped speaking portuguese
with innocence
because I wanted yself
that I
you
stop it I wanted
that innocence
because I wanted
consistency
19
language
requires
they tell
wanting
you
will
speaking
I thought
before language
thought require will you wire quit out
if I don’t my portuguese
stop
german
it it mixes
english
speaks you
wants
quill tire got
to innocence thoght reqire will yo
I stop you
to not
will require
now
thought
requre
wll
you
will
you
thought rethought quire
though requite will your
thguoht
20
eriuqer
lliw
uoy
thoughthgouht
requireriuqer
willliw
youoy
thguohthought
eriuqerequire
lliwill
uoyou
21
commit lexeme
my grandfather
language is
a commitment to
a commitment
my grandfather
reads the same
O Futuro da Humanidade he doesn’t
book for two years but what is
know when it’s
the author’s in other
book’s
other book is
words
language
intimate, not polite
is a synonym
never stops
for years
you
Nunca desista de seus sonhos
general you
general stop
general never with forgetting
language has become
synonymous
with getting
humanity never
never stop
the future
synonymous
it
future
the future to him
age has become
do you get
words
the same
never stop your dreams
polite, not intimate you general dreams
the polite
gets
does it
get you
stops
its future
dreams
language never reads the same book 22
23
you stops never polite the
palaver apathetic
o
I
top ever pole
u to eve pile
see language
my grandfather and again
yu
needs
fifteen
day
the words
again
minutes later
stps never plite the
you stos never olite the
I
hear you
and like to nyou tops ever spolite the your stop
eves
I
say
art is
need
you fail
widely
a failure
I guess
the
words again
polithe te you seem
uoy spots reven etilop eht
it is
youoy stopspots
nevereven
politetilop
theht
uoyou spotstops
revenever
etilopolite
ehthe
24
fail every
to want
not apathy
as Bishop
the failure of needs
because you want to fail
said not hard
to master
25
you
guess words
the forgetfulness I guess
across minutes
runs in
your family too
everyone’s
art is apathy failed ailed path tart ape tailed not
we need
to master
I hear
again
a guess
against
hard failures but language
is not
later
apathy
rt
is
pthy filed
ar
is
apahy failed
my language
will guess
widely
apart is
athy failed
your art
runs
too
everyone’s
fart
is
apathy ailed
every
day
likes hearing
needs tra
si
yhtapa deliaf
failed apathy is art
artra isi apathyhtapa failedeliaf trart sis ythapapathy deliafailed
26
27
ventilation agnostic the agnostic
is the true
believer
because when
not know
believe
is all one
my grandfather
tells me to go with
one does
what
I believe
my words
re
two
of
I read
no minds
my mind
I will
fervent belief
only
tells redundancies
be
do
you return
do
you go with
28
go
agnostic
redundancies words
not
turn my grandfather
agnostics
don’t
known and
you
make a know
does
god and return
with him
what
I know
but do weeks
is
words
and return
is
not
words know
become agnostic
believed
when to
about us
return
that is
language
words these are beliefs
about
you
like
god turns
us
like
god minds us
29
language is that us about agnostic become words
reluct taciturnic
across ego length
you
called me
friend
and I held that meaning
my grandfather
called me
neta
meaning
what are
silences
doing
they spread and holds loosen
granddaughter
noise claim swing
lnguge is
tht
us
lanuae is
that us
the
gnostic
become
words
those who
about anostic
become
words
for them
bout
their same langusage
i
thus at
agnout
abostic
linguage
as
tuat
abords
agnocome bestic
hs
si
taht su
and probably
shuffle
mediocre
nothing
nothing
I can do
wanted
joke misspoken
wecome bords wout
connections are(n’t) missing
egaugnal
silence themselves
tuoba citsonga emoceb sdrow
languagegaugnal isi thataht usu aboutuoba agnosticitsonga becomemoceb wordsdrow
people
missed if
can(not)
like to say
but then
they aren’t
connections
be if
it was not
I wish
I knew
they better
nothing
there
him/her better
and let silence
egaugnalanguage sis tahthat sus tuobabout citsongagnostic emocebecome sdrowords 30
31
I haven’t
wanted
to let silence
but my
speech is without returns speech rinses my negations
loss
negotiate
me
silence drains across
my tie
the page
speech cleanest the is silence my lean stile pence spill claim pit
when I accept
my capacity for
silence
I am freed
when I own
my mouth
I am freed
when
I am with the earloss and eyeloss
freed to
speak of language with(out)
letting
silence
my silence
32
is
I am
language
be needed punctuation not puncture
spch clanst th
is
silnc my
speeh leanest the
is
silene my
cleech speanest
ihe
ts
simence
ly
sleenest
cpeach thi
es
mence
sily
hceeps
tsenaelc
eht
si
speechceeps
cleanestsenaelc
theht isi
silencecnelis
mym
hceepspeech
tsenaelcleanest
ehthe sis
ecnelisilence
ymy
the cleanest speech ecnelis
ym
33
mixed (en)core of first and last lines { : epilogic } I
I I
I
I I
I
stops stopped
held for held for know
of have hips
approach art and
of tired tired liked
people women men children grandfather grandfather
that that that
us used tautology texas
point polite problem
speech speaking silence silent
my my my my me me myself
agnostic about apathy and
no nothing never
loss wet will words
he he he’s require rinses
II
said saying speech
agnostic and
what
the fail
then this time true trust tv
failed the
friend from
language is is language is is language is is is it in in
because become before a believer
machine made manaus you
many meaning mom mouths
the you the you the you the
when when
you see the segmented so
calls called cleanest clicking a cloned commitment a day does every
one
being am am
of portuguese of portuguese 34
told telling
thought thinks 35
note on the text There are at least two kinds of language in this work: a semi-narrative voice and a visual (re)wording. The latter is an interjection, a re-comprehension of the previous poem’s last line (in reverse) in an effort to diffuse language into a form of visual repetition: use of anagram, lipogram, and finally palindrome that reduces the language into mere pattern. The language becomes no longer English. What verbivocovisualness there is makes it a cognate to Brazilian Concrete poetry.