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ANNIE’S MAILBOX Dear Annie: I have a year-old son whom I love more than anything in the world. My girlfriend, “Karen,” and I are trying to be good parents. The problem is, Karen and I have broken up several times due to arguments that got out of control. She has a terrible temper. Usually, a month after our breakups, she pulls out all the stops to get me back. Since our son’s birth, we’ve stuck together, but we still fight. Twice, Karen has threatened to take our son and leave. The fighting is wearing me down. I have considered proposing because I know it will make her happy. And she really is a great mother. But as soon as I consider finding a ring, we end up having another ridiculous fight. I’ve suggested counseling and church, and although she has agreed, I can’t get her to schedule anything. Should our son be exposed to our constant fighting and the possibility of a split, or is it better for him to grow up with separated parents who can be civil toward each other? -- Balancing on a Cliff in Connecticut Dear Cliff: It’s better for kids to grow up in a stable environment with two committed, loving parents. There is still a chance that you can achieve this, but it will require counseling. Don’t wait for Karen to schedule an appointment. She is too afraid that a counselor will blame her for all your troubles, and you should assure her that this is not what a good counselor does. Make an appointment on your own, and ask her to be there. If she refuses, please go without her. Dear Annie: All I want to do is get a job so I can have food on the table to feed my family. Yet, every time I fill out an application, they ask about college. If I don’t check the box that says I went to college or intend to go, I don’t hear from them. I am retired and need some extra money because my sons can’t find work and they are living at home, along with my
granddaughter. My wife is already working 60 hours a week. How am I going to support all of them if I can’t get some extra money? -- Proud Vet Who Can’t Find Work Dear Vet: You seem to be searching in the wrong places. Many jobs do not require a college degree. While the job market is tight right now, please check out these suggested websites for seniors and retirees who need assistance or training: retirementjobs.com, workforce50.com and experienceworks. org. We hope one of them will steer you in the right direction. Good luck. Dear Annie: “Miss My Sister” said her bipolar sister didn’t think she had any friends, but the funeral was standing room only. How many of those “friends” were in her sister’s life before she killed herself? I, too, have been contemplating suicide. I do not believe I am depressed, but I do feel invisible and that no one would miss me if I died. I have been divorced for five years. I have a good job, my own home, work out regularly and am active in my church. I am close with my family, have many acquaintances and a few good friends. I still feel alone. I would love it if someone would call once in a while and ask me to go to dinner or shopping. If I did commit suicide, it would not be to hurt my family, but to take the hurt away from me. -- Lonely Dear Lonely: You may not believe you are depressed, but your letter says otherwise. Someone who has close family and good friends should not feel invisible and alone. Sometimes it’s a matter of perspective or effort. But it could also be a medical or psychiatric problem. Make an appointment for a complete checkup, and then ask your doctor to refer you to a mental health professional. When suicidal thoughts crop up, please contact the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to: anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.
Prickly City
by Scott Stantis
Report accuses China and Russia of spying WASHINGTON (NY TIMES) — American intelligence agencies, in an unusually blunt public criticism of China and Russia, reported to Congress on Thursday that those two foreign governments steal valuable American technology over the Internet as a matter of national policy. Both China and Russia hide behind the anonymity of proxy computers and dispersed routers in third countries to pilfer proprietary corporate information to accelerate their own economic development, according to the new intelligence assessment. They have also targeted the computer networks of government agencies and universities, the report said. American officials have for years hinted that China and Russia were leading suspects in the Internet theft of economic secrets, and those accusations have appeared as scattered commentary in government reports. Google has accused China twice in two years of broad Internet intrusions targeting its users. However, American officials, when pressed, have said that pinpointing the culprits remained difficult in cyberspace, and they also usually emphasized that specific complaints of computer-network espionage were best raised in private government-to-government channels. In contrast, the new intelligence study, compiled as a report to Congress on foreign economic and industrial espionage over the past two years, presents a pointed case that China and Russia are the leading actors in the Internet theft of economic secrets. “The computer networks of a broad array of U.S. government agencies, private companies, universities and other institutions — all holding large volumes of sensitive economic information — were targeted by cyber espionage,” the report said. “Chinese actors are the world’s most active and persistent perpetrators of economic espionage,” it added. “Russia’s intelligence services are conducting a range of activities to collect economic information and technology from U.S. targets.”
Growth in retail sales slowed in October (NY TIMES) — In a potentially troubling sign for the holiday shopping season, retailers released data on Thursday suggesting that Americans were slowing down spending and hunting for discounts. The retailers tracked by Thomson Reuters posted in October an average increase of 3.4 percent in sales at stores open at least a year compared with the same month last year, missing analyst estimates of 4.5 percent. The disappointing growth followed stronger results in August and September, when same-store sales rose 4.4 percent and 5.1 percent, respectively. Analysts and consulting firms have been putting together holiday-growth projections, and most numbers have been gaining in the 3 to 4 percent range. Yet other indicators suggest a weaker holiday season ahead. Consumer sentiment continues to be weak, and ports have been reporting that much less holiday inventory has been coming through their docks than expected. “I think it’s going to be a turbulent, tough holiday,” said David Bassuk, managing director and head of the global retail practice at AlixPartners, a consulting firm. “We’ve got the consumer in a real value mode.” A number of retailers were reported to be discounting even more than usual to pump up October sales. “Even retailers who reported significant upside to sales had to give up margin to drive the incremental sales,” Adrienne Tennant, an analyst at Janney Capital Markets who follows specialty retailers such as American Eagle Outfitters, Gap and Abercrombie & Fitch, wrote in a note to clients.