6 STREET
THURSDAY, JUNE 11, 2015
SUMMER MUST SEES BY HALLIE BROOKMAN Looks like summer time is going to be filled with adaptations, sequels, blockbusters and indies you should all be pumped for.
ENTOURAGE
Ari Gold now runs a studio and Vince wants to direct. The movie picks up where the hit TV series left off. In addition to seeing what goes on behind the scenes of Tinseltown’s movie industry — yacht parties, private jets, and Hollywood glamour on the red carpet — make sure to watch out for cameos of some Hollywood A-Listers such as Mark Wahlberg, Jessica Alba and Kelsey Grammer. As one of the recent posters says, ”Dream Large. Live Larger.” In Theaters Now
MAGIC MIKE XXL
With the release of its most recent trailer, it’s clear what the movie is going to entail as it goes on to show some of what it calls “the best parts of the movie” — shirtless Channing Tatum. At a fake screening of the film, Channing goes undercover as a marketing executive interviewing Magic Mike fans and telling them the screening would be in 3D. When the lights go out, strippers in the audience dance their way to the screen while Channing, still undercover, gives an audience member a lap dance before unmasking and revealing himself to everyone. Get ready for some kickass dancing and lots of skin. In Theaters July 1
SPY
Melissa McCarthy stole someone’s identity two years ago in “Identity Thief,” but now she is going undercover for the CIA to save the world. With a great cast that includes Jude Law and Rose Byrne, this movie is likely to make you laugh the entire time, leaving you with a sore stomach by the end. In Theaters Now
IRRATIONAL MAN
Some are calling Woody Allen’s latest film one of the best movies to be premiered at Cannes. Starring Emma Stone and Joaquin Phoenix, this movie tells the story of what happens when a professor begins to have an affair with one of his students. In Theaters July 17
JURASSIC WORLD
It’s been 14 years, and director Steven Spielberg has returned with his fourth installment of the Jurassic Park franchise, Jurassic World. After a new attraction at the theme park backfires, the genetically engineered dinosaur will keep audience members on the edge of their seats as visitors in the park run for their lives. In Theaters June 12
TRAINWRECK
“Monogamy isn’t realistic.” Amy Schumer and Bill Hader star in this upcoming comedy that tells the story of what happens when the promiscuous girl, who was raised to believe that monogamy isn’t realistic, meets the right guy and begins to fall in love with him too. Producer Judd Apatow is known for some of our favorites: “Bridesmaids,” “Superbad,” “Knocked Up “ and “The 40 Year Old Virgin.” It looks like “Trainwreck” could soon be added to that list too. In Theaters July 17
SOUTHPAW ME, EARL AND THE DYING GIRL
Having won the Audience Award and the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance this year, “Me, Earl and the Dying Girl” tells the story of what happens when a high school senior, Greg (Thomas Mann), is forced to befriend Rachel (Olivia Cooke) who has just been diagnosed with leukemia. For those who are looking to switch gears from the big summer blockbusters to art house, independent films, make sure to check this one out too. In Theaters June 12
TED 2
Ted is now married and he wants a child. Our favorite teddy bear returns to the screens and learns that if he and his wife want to have a baby, he has to prove that he is a real person. “Ted 2” is expected to be another raunchy comedy that will leave you in tears, and we all want to #legalizeted. In theaters June 26
BY FRANCES PATERNO With summer just starting, we know there are office romances and awkward hometown tinder hookups waiting just around the corner. But since Street has your best interests at heart, we thought it might be helpful to give you a head start on dating for once you’re back on Locust. To shed some knowledge, here’s a guide to love in the time of f**k buddies. This way when you head back to University City in the fall, you’ll know exactly where to go online to find that special Quaker.
Harvey Weinstein has already vowed that Jake Gyllenhaal will get an Oscar nomination for his performance in this boxing drama. The film tells the story of what happens when the life of Billy Hope (Gyllenhaal), reigning World Light Heavyweight Boxing Champion, begins to unravel after his wife (Rachel McAdams) accidentally gets killed. According to Weinstein, while the film had been selected for Cannes, it couldn’t remain in competition since Gyllenhaal was a member of the jury. In Theaters July 24
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE – ROGUE NATION Tom Cruise is back starring in another installment of Mission Impossible. In its fifth installment, Ethan (Cruise) and his team take on their most impossible mission as they are committed to terminating the IMF. He says this might be their last one, so he wants to make it count. In Theaters July 31
THE SUMMER PENNSYLVANIAN | THEDP.COM
WHAT I LEARNED AT THE
2015 CANNES FILM FESTIVAL BY CAROLINE MARQUES I remember my first time. I was in awe; sweat dripping down my face on a spring day and all. It was brief, hot and then it was over. I was 14. My middle school professor briefly gestured at the building, Cannes’ Grand Théâtre Lumière muttering something about movies. It wasn’t the festival, but a red carpet was on display for tourists to trample. Already, there was something special about it. My second time at Cannes, I was older, wiser. To the security guards, my badge was practically meaningless. But the novelty of it all — the parties, the pictures, the people — stunned me. I was barely legal, running around with my partner in crime, when I got kicked out of that very theatre (and then later snuck back in for the Cronenberg premiere) and missed my flight home. By then, I knew it was a sunny place for shady people and that you can’t BYOB premieres (no exceptions). I came prepared for 2015. Here are the key things Street learned at the 2015 Cannes Film Festival to spare you some embarrassment and pain.
THE HUSTLE IS WORSE THAN HOLLYWOOD
Who are you? Who do you know? Everybody wants something from somebody all the time. That’s what happens when you grab half of the film industry, a bunch of young aspiring artists, tourists and businesspeople and throw them together in a small town on the French Riviera. The hustle is unavoidable – it’s everywhere. At a party, it’s the veteran European playboys hailing from Paris, London, and sometimes Rome. At a hotel, it’s the 50-year old man at the bar that wrote a “touching yet daring” screenplay he wants you to take a look at upstairs. At the press office terrace, it’s a trembling, stressed-out journalist shaking out an empty pack of Marlboro Golds on their pink plastic press card. In line, it’s f**king everybody.
THE TOWN IS UNACCOMMODATING AS HELL
Is it charming? Of course. There’s a port and sunshine — but you better come prepared. It’s France, so forget the existence of a CVS or a 24-hour grocery store. That’s what you expect — you’re ready for that. But can you know what awaits you at Cannes? No you can’t. You can’t eat between the hours of two and seven. You can’t get a cab. Forget getting an Über to the airport. You will inevitably miss your flight and be stuck in the airport for six hours, nursing the worst hangover of your life, as the workers go on strike with vuvuzelas. Forget fighting with the coked-out waitress charging you for the gin and tonic you didn’t order: you will get thrown out of the club. It’s a small town. If you get with a certain British producer one night, know that you will run into that person every day, three times per day for the rest of your trip. And forget not going home with the strangers whistling at you from their car, they’ll roll down their windows and spit at you.
THE LOCALS HATE IT WITH A PASSION
The bus driver, the panini maker, the bar owner — everyone. They find the tourists imposing and obnoxious, the celebrities demanding and impossible and the fans annoying and drunk. An Austrian local explained to me outside a bar that the festival is nothing more than “ten days that are crap for everybody that lives here. It’s just tourists who want to look around, and not pay. It’s not that interesting.” So despite the Porsches and Teslas that line the streets in front of the Chanel, Dior and Armani shops, the influx of tourism does not seem to have a large effect on the town as a whole.
THE SECURITY GUARDS ARE FRENCH ASSHOLES
When Street went to Sundance this January, it was hard to order a coffee or full-strength beer. At Cannes, it’s difficult to get into a movie, even with the right badge. This is due to the army of beige suits that will make your daily life a living hell. They will send you in the wrong direction, frisk you a little too closely, kindly escort you out of the building, and then laugh, saying that “you could maybe get in, that is, if you worked for a better magazine.”
WOMEN ARE STILL NOT REPRESENTED
The film industry is known for its extreme lack of female representation. Cannes, unfortunately, is no exception. While some women showcased their work, they did not bring home awards in the main competition with the exception of best actress. The reason this discussion even reached a global level this week in the press was not because of women in film, but because of complaints made due to the festival’s premiere “heels-only” unwritten rule. The international festival has a long way to go to place men and women on the same level and care about more than the latter’s hair and makeup.
IT’S EVERYTHING YOU EVER IMAGINED IT TO BE … AND MORE
Everything you hear — it’s all true. Some hotels boast suites for 40k a night and more than 800 kilos of lobster to go with their 15,000 bottles of champagne for the week. People do buy party invitations to the galas and balls on the Cannes black market, and clubs do hire girls from European capitals to stay in a villa on the one condition that they go to their club every night. A club does make you stand in line for 30 minutes, seemingly let you in, and then push you onto the street if they don’t think you’re wealthy enough. A slew of escorts walk in and out of the best hotels every morning, as others beg on the street and others beg for tickets. Penn kids do it all. But watching it all — it’s the crème de la crème of entertainment, and Street was lucky enough to be a part of it.
AN ONLINE DATING GUIDE FOR PENN STUDENTS
M illionaire atch
IL veBlackWomen For the romantics who think the Wilcaf barista who remembered your name is totally in love with you when really he is just a nice guy who remembers everybody’s name.
For the student activists whose desire to abolish systematized racism. (P.S. Sorry Phi Delt, the only inflated things on here are your egos)
Are there Christians at Penn? Let a homie know. #Catholicandlooking
We’re fairly sure that this was just a startup in the Wharton Business Plan Competition.
Can we just focus on how upsetting it is that this site exists?
FARMERS ONLY For the engineers who are weirdly into heavy machinery and definitely into bondage.
For that Oz guy who’s definitely not an asshole but just wants to explore his Pan-Asian foot fetish.
For the actual poor kids just trying to flirt a little and not have to meet someone in a sweaty mosh pit on Bankers-slick surfaces.
All enrolled students.
Finally, old faithful. For the dfmo enthusiasts and surprise grinders alike, may you never stop making everyone wildly uncomfort able.