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Shakespeare no match for corn BY JIMMY REED Special Columnist
My British Literature students’ indifference toward Shakespeare’s poetry was frustrating, and when I said that my interest in his work grows every time I teach it, a student remarked, “For seniors like you, that is understandable, but his work is out of date for our generation.” “Not so,” I rebutted. “Famed English poet Ben Jonson’s remark is indisputable. Of Shakespeare, he said, ‘He was not of an age, but for all time.’” “If you define his poetry as being among the best, how do you define bad poetry?” Someone asked. “Doggerel,” I said. “It is poorly written and is nothing more than rude verse.” “Give us an example,” a student requested. “All right. I’m certain y’all will agree that it is awful.” With that, I read them the following: Susie Lee done fell in love, She planned to marry Joe. She was so happy ‘bout it all, She told her pappy so. Pappy told her, “Susie gal, You’ll have to find another. I’d just as soon yo’ ma don’t know, But Joe is yo’ half
brother.” So Susie put aside her Joe And planned to marry Will. But after telling Pappy this, He said, “There’s trouble still.” You can’t marry Will, my gal, And please don’t tell yo’ mother, But Will and Joe, and several mo’ I know is yo’ half brother.” But Mama knew and said, “My child, Just do what makes you happy. Marry Will or marry Joe — You ain’t no kin to Pappy.” To my utter astonishment, the students hooted and howled so loudly that I had to make them hush. They loved it — much more than Shakespeare’s “My Mistress’ Eyes Are Nothing Like The Sun.” “Gee whiz, kids — only a bunch of Philistines could appreciate that garbage. It’s worse than a terribly corny joke.” I shouldn’t have said that. A student quipped that recently he had heard the corniest of all corny jokes, and instantly the other students began yelling, “Tell it, tell it.” Groaning, I gave in to their request. Here is what he said:
“Dining in a fancy restaurant, a man noticed a gorgeous woman at a nearby table, but lacked the nerve to speak to her. “Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye flew out of its socket. As it whizzed by, the man grabbed it and handed it back to her. “’Oh, thank you,’ the woman said as she popped her eye back in place. ‘Let me show my gratitude by buying your meal.’ “Afterward, they had an intimate conversation. She shared her deepest dreams, and he shared his. When they parted, she mentioned that she was a gourmet cook and invited him to her place the next evening. The food was divine. “’You are the perfect woman,” he said. ‘Do you treat every guy you meet this way?’ “’No,’ she replied. ‘You just happened to catch my eye.’” Again, the students howled in laughter. I groaned, shook my head, and dismissed the class. That day, Shakespeare was no match for corn. (Oxford resident Jimmy Reed, jimmycecilreedjr@gmail.com, is a newspaper columnist, author and college teacher. His latest collection of short stories is available at Square Books, 662236-2262.)
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Corinth High School honor roll 9th Grade All A’s: Logan Todd Barrier, Amanda Elise Blair, Jessica Blair Campbell, Mara Jane Campbell, John Calvin Edwards, Erin Nichole Joyce, Kathryn Monique Knippers, Heather Lindsey Kocurek, Hayden Abigail Malone, Alyssa Gregory Park, Brady Pratt, Ashley N Robertson, Ariel Jean Sax, Avery Victoria Shappley, Austin Reid Thompson, Kaley Nicole Thompson A’s & B’s: Teosha Monea Boyd, Jake Michael Curtis, Braddock Ellis Hight, Holley Galbraith Marshall, Quanitia Carlacheya Jazzmon McClean, Monique Cierra McDonald, Shelby Elizabeth McElwain, Kate Elizabeth Mitchell, Clayton Thomas Nichols, Madeline Noyes, Devani Pena Ocana, Kendall Joseph Patterson, Luke Andrew Redwine, Brianna Lynn Scobey, Orma Rinehart Smith, Anna Katherine Tomlinson, John Easton Treadway, Jazsmin Berna Walker, Tiersten Deontae Washington, Joshua Trevon Williams
10th Grade All A’s: Jose M. Contreras, Logan Ryan Gates, Katie Elizabeth Jones, Shelby Renee McClain, Mallory Lauren McClurg, Brandon Vuthana Nhek, Hannah Catherine Shea,
Savannah Grace Smith, Tetra Monique Tyes, Elizabeth Whitehurst, Grace Ann Wilbanks A’s & B’s: Hunter Lee Patrick Barkes, Frances Wells Bullard, Mckenzie Rayne Carson, Bradley Nathaniel Hastings, James W. Howell IV, James Lafayette Jourdan, Kenneth Neal Lancaster, Carven Oneal Lewis, Graves Brawner Marshall, Stearman B McCalister, John Michael McFall, Destiny Marie Ortiz, Hayden Wesley Park, Madeline Lisa Smith, Kelsey Jane Tweddle, James Kyle Webb
11th Grade All A’s: Clayton Houston Allred, Aaron Slater Austin, Lydia Marie Beard, Chelsea Elizabeth Caveness, Hunter Fowler, Lauryn Mikaela Hancock, Colby Niles Horner, Bailee Ruth Kramer, Abigail Jane Null, Lexus Null, Austin Jared Powell, Courtney Ann Vanderford, Destiny Nicole Washburn, Mary Wayne A’s & B’s: Charles Robert Blackard, David Brown, Alison Katlyn Burns, Kaleb Scott Byrd, Infiniti Desiree’ Copeland, Vyvyan Tayler Haney, Annalee Hunter Hendrick, Randy Perez Hill, Holly Lee Howell, Carol “Tennison” Humphreys, Christopher Chase Little, Alyssa
Danielle Lopez, Austin Robert Martin, Gary Tyler McCalla, Elizabeth Anne McPheters, Nancy Stennett Smith, Kathryn Gatewood Timmons, Morgan C. Wigginton
12th Grade All A’s: Hanna T Harbour, James Daniel Haworth, Aisha LeeAnn Knight, John Thomas Mathis, Haley Elizabeth McFall, Abbigaile Lynn Noyes, Shannon Wayne Overholt, Joseph Brooks Pratt, Olivia Kate Suitor, Olivia Trammel, Molly Grace Williams A’s & B’s: Jaylend Donyl Adams, Hannah Brittani Avent, Travis Michael Bradshaw, Lake Terrichristen Bundy, Catherine Lane Coleman, Yssis Tarran Copeland, Nathaniel O’neil Dickerson, Kaleb Lee Digby, Daniel Dubose Dixon, Erin Nicole Frazier, Mckenzie Lee Gates, Lewis Tulon Johnson, Kaitlyn Elizabeth Knight, Jacob L McDuffy, Steven Austin McElwain, Merrell Paige McQueen, Danielle Allora Mock, Blake Montario Patterson, Kelsey Briana Quinn, Benjamin Craig Ricketts, Courtney Marie Rodgers, Ryan Benjamin Scott, Cythe K Stone, Eric Jordan Timms, Victoria Hayes Treadway, Sarah Kate Vanderford, Meredith Brooke Wilbanks
Deaths Clifford Dodds
Funeral services for Clifford Dodds, 74, of Corinth, were held Friday at Corinthian Funeral Chapel with burial at Fraleys Chapel Cemetery. Mr. Dodds died Wednesday, Nov. 30, 2011, at Magnolia Regional Health Center. Born March 18, 1937, he was a retired construction worker. He was preceded in death by his parents, Lonnie and Pearl Ruth O’Kelly Dodds; a brother, James Dodds; and five sisters, Sally Wilbanks, Peggy Reeves, Juanita Carmack, Captola Jossearand and Mary Jewell Baldwyn. Survivors include one brother, Harry Lee Dodds of Corinth; one sister, Janeva Harvell of Iuka; his special and dear friends, Charles and Lillie Flanagan of Corinth; and a host of nieces and nephews.
Opal Rogers Cook Bumps RUTHERFORDTON, N.C. — Opal Rogers Cook Bumps, 86, died Friday, Dec. 2, 2011, at Hospice House of Rutherford County. Arrangements are incomplete and will be announced by Magnolia Funeral Home.
Ruby Garner
BOONEVILLE — Ruby Garner, 70, died Friday, Dec. 2, 2011, at Baptist Memorial Hospital in Booneville. Arrangements are incomplete and will be announced by Patterson Memorial Chapel.
Harold “Limey” Price
IUKA — Funeral services for Harold “Limey” Price, 64, are set for 2 p.m. today at Cutshall Funeral Home Chapel in Iuka with burial at Patrick Cemetery. Mr. Price died Thursday, Dec. 1, 2011, at North Mississippi Medical Center in Tupelo. He was preceded in death by his parents, Mel-
vin and Bernice Price; and a brother, Wayne Price. Survivors include one daughter, Shana Hollon and husband Brad of Iuka; one brother, Dale Price and wife Shelia of Iuka; one sister, Shelaine Hardwick of Iuka; and three grandchildren, Cooper Price, Norah Grace Hollon and Katie Hollon. Bro. Ron Norvell will officiate.
Patricia Nell Lipford
MICHIE, Tenn. — Funeral services for Patricia Nell Lipford, 64, are set for 11 a.m. today at Shackelford Funeral Directors of Selmer, Tenn., with burial at Lebanon Cemetery in Michie, Tenn. Mrs. Lipford died Thursday, Dec. 1, 2011, at Jackson Madison County General Hospital in Jackson, Tenn. Born Aug. 24, 1947, in Hanson, Ky., she was a hospitality assistant. She was a member of West Shiloh Baptist Church. She was preceded in death by her husband, Jimmy Eugene Lipford; a son, Randal Wayne Lip-
WHY YOU
SHOULD GET A FLU SHOT NOW • It takes at least two weeks to start to work • We may begin to see cases of the flu as early as this month • It's FREE if you have Medicare and only $25 for others • You can be done in 10 or 15 minutes and that could save you a week or more of sickness • It's easy ... you can get your vaccination at James Bennett Apothecary from 9:00am5:00pm Monday through Friday
Dennis Skinner
Funeral services for Dennis Wayne Skinner, 44, of Corinth, are set for 2 p.m. Sunday at Memorial Funeral Home Chapel with Bro. Taft Nethery and Bro. Jetta Forsythe. Burial will be in Indian Creek Cemetery. Mr. Skinner died November 29, 2011, at his residence. He was born March 9, 1967, in Corinth. He has been employed with WalMart for about the past 10 years, having worked in Corinth and Skinner most recently Booneville, MS. He was a member of Olive Hill Bapford; her parents, Bernice Noah Denny and Mary Agnes (Carlton) Denny; her stepfather, Wally Ostrowski; and three brothers, Robert Thomas Denny, Bernice Ray Denny and Curtis Lynn Denny. Survivors include a daughter, Angelia Lipford of Selmer, Tenn.; a son, Jimmy Lee Lipford of Memphis, Tenn.; a brother, Jimmy Neal Carlton of Las Vegas, Nev.; two grandchildren, Cecily Ann Lipford of Jackson, Tenn., and Jonathan “Walker” Lipford of Selmer, Tenn.; and one great grandchild. Bro. Earl Day will officiate.
Helen Tucker Glidewell Owen
Funeral services for Helen Tucker Glidewell Owen, 75, of Corinth, are set for 1 p.m. Monday at Corinthian Funeral Home with burial at Forrest Memorial Park. Mrs. Owen died Friday, Dec. 2, 2011, at Jackson Madison County General Hospital. Born June 21, 1936, she was a retired factory worker. She was a
member of Corinth Church of God. She was preceded in death by her husband of 30 years, Mr. Charles Owen; her parents, Newton Ely Glidewell and Laura Mabel Nash Tucker Glidewell; a sister, Opal Burcham; and a brother, Harold Tucker. Survivors include two daughters, Linda Harris (Roy Harold) of Kennesaw, Ga., and Kimberly Rainey; three sons, Durell Glidewell of Saulsbury, Tenn., David Glidewell (Pat) of Corinth, and Tim Glidewell of Childers Hill, Tenn.; eight grandchildren, Dana Glissen of Saulsbury, Tenn., Derrick Glidewell of Saulsbury, Tenn., Chris Harris (Kim) of Actworth, Ga., Jeremy Glidewell (Carrey) of Corinth, Corey Glidewell (Britni) of Corinth, Jessica Glidewell of Childers Hill, Tenn., and Stacy Glidewell of Florence, Ala. Bro. Jason Jones will officiate. Visitation Sunday from 5 until 8 p.m. and Monday from 11 a.m. until service time at Corinthian Funeral
Huge Shipment Has Arrived
tist Church. He was preceded in death by his grandparents, Henry and Martha Skinner, and Cletus and Alice Ramer. Survivors include his parents, Robert and Gladys Skinner of Corinth; his brothers, Mike (Diane) Skinner of Southaven, Tommy Skinner, Shawn Skinner; a sister, Brenda Skinner all of Corinth; his nephews, Dewayne (Julie) Skinner, Cole Skinner; a great niece, Anna Kate Skinner; and a host of other family and friends Visitation is Saturday from 3 until 8 p.m. and Sunday noon to service time. Memorial Funeral Home is in charge. Condolence can be left at www.memorialcorinth. com
Janette Wilkins
Home.
Jimmy Dale Swindle
Funeral services for Jimmy Dale Swindle, 64, of Corinth, were held Friday at Magnolia Funeral Home Chapel of Memories with burial in Campground Methodist Church Cemetery in Walnut. Mr. Swindle died Wednesday, November 30, 2011, at Magnolia Regional Health Center. Born Jan. 1, 1947, he was a farmer and a truck driver for many years. He was as member of Shady Grove Baptist Church. He was preceded in death by his parents, Hubert and Omega “Tootsie” Swindle. Survivors include two sons, Brad Swindle and his wife Marsha of Corinth, and Christopher Scott “Chris” Swindle of Corinth; two grandchildren, Jennifer and Blake Swindle; and other relatives and a host of friends. Leroy Brown, Charlie Browning and Bro. Tim Edwards officiated the service.
Funeral services for Janette Wilkins, 74, of Corinth, are set for 1 p.m. Monday at McPeters Chapel with burial at Brigman Hill Church Cemetery. Ms. Wilkins died Friday, Dec. 2, 2011, at her residence. She was a former associate of the Wurlitzer Co. She was a member of Brigman Hill Baptist Church. She was preceded in death by her parents, James (Jim) Wilkins and Willie Hudson Wilkins; three sisters, Joyce Wilkins, Clair Grissom and Rosalou Wilkins; and one brother, J.P. Wilkins. Survivors include five brothers, Milton Wilkins (Martha), Jerome Wilkins, William Wilkins, all of Corinth, J.B. Wilkins of Glen, and Eugene Wilkins (Mary) of Booneville; and one sister, Linda Farley (Willie Lee) of Corinth. Bro. Mike Evans, Bro. Shane Evetts and Dr. Leonard Pratt will officiate. Visitation is Sunday from 2 until 5 p.m.
The Holiday House SALE
Pre-made Wreaths, Teardrops, Centerpieces, Arrangements and many other items available to make your home or office beautiful for the Holiday Season. Special Orders Welcome
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Serving Corinth’s health needs for 35 34 years! Come by and meet our pharmacists...
Bennett Apothecary 2049 Shiloh Rd. Corinth MS Phone: 662-286-6914
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Including the Limited Edition Carpe Diem in Ladies and Mens (limited quantities) 1808 E. Shiloh Rd. Corinth, MS 662-287-3606
All 21” Netting $10/roll While Supplies Last Stems, Boxed Ornaments, Wreaths, Garland and more on sale
The Holiday House 6 Farris Lane (off N. Polk/Old 45) Corinth, MS • 662-665-4925 Monday-Saturday: 10:00am-5:00pm Sunday: 1:00 pm-4:00 pm Come and bring a friend Rachel Huff, Owner/Designer