aaa.
with chris Benno
Best Christmas pressie you’ve received: super Nintendo Worst: a skull-splitter of a hangover coupled with a good dose of the flu What do you want this Christmas?: a ‘48 Panhead custom by deus ex machina What will you be giving this Christmas?: lumps of coal & rock n roll
PICTURE: CENTRAL WEST PHOTO NEWS/CHRIS BENNETTS
Season’s greetings readers! I hope you’ve all had a wonderful year! I’ll tell you about the best Christmases I’ve ever had. A couple of year’s back I was living in the UK, basically being a ratbag backpacker living day to day by any means necessary. I wasn’t fazed by too much as long as I had a few quid and somewhere to sleep. It was the start of November and I’d just got back to my home base of London from a jaunt around Europe. I found myself broke as a joke and jobless. Things were grim... so grim in fact that I thought I’d be lining up at the shelter for Christmas lunch. So I got on various websites pleading for a job. ‘Help! Job needed. Save my Xmas!’ I posted. Later that night I got a call from a guy who managed a garden centre. He’d just got a shipment of 5000 Christmas trees and was looking for someone to help sell them. He asked me a little about myself. “Well I’m a hard working bloke from Country NSW...” I said before he stopped me. “Where abouts in country NSW?’ he asked. “A place called Orange” I said. “Mate... I grew up in Bathurst... you’ve got the job!” I thanked the guy for saving my Xmas and hung up the phone. “IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. I quickly fell in love with the job. It impossible not to be filled with the Xmas spirit when you’re helping bright eyed kids and excited families pick out their Christmas tree! The job was full of positives... I got to deal with happy customers, I got fit as a lumber jack carting around trees all day, plus I quickly became an expert on Christmas trees. “Well sir,” I would say. “This one has a nice pine smell, but it drops its needles early.... whereas this one will hold its needles, but it doesn’t smell as good.” I felt like Santa. Over the next two months we sold just about all the trees and I met loads of great customers. But I would have to say the most memorable customer was a middle aged geezer who come bowling in at closing time on Christmas Eve. “Alright mate...you gotta sort me out!” he said with a panicked look in his eye. “The missus’s mother is making a surprise visit and we don’t ‘av a bloomin tree! I’m under strict instructions to bring one home, or I’m done for!” At this stage in the game we only had 4-5 ratty busted up trees, and one grand 10 foot beauty that sold for around 300 quid (about $500 aussie). “I like the look of that one... but it won’t fit in me house!” said the geez. I had an idea. “What if I chop the top off and you can take that home?” I said. The geez liked the sound of that. I put it to the boss. “I don’t care... but he’s paying full price!” were the orders. I went back to the geez and informed him of the decision. “Mate that’s fine by me... if you knew my mother in law, you’d understand!” I lobbed the top 3 foot off the beautiful tree with a saw, and helped the relieved geezer shove it in the back of his car. He drove off shouting “ITS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!” It was a great way to end my Xmas tree selling career. What’s the moral of the story? Do whatever it takes to make your loved ones happy at Christmas! Ho ho ho everyone, I hope Santa finds ya.
Yours in type, Benno
Transportable Home & Caravan
SOLUTIONS
Bathurst 5/123 Howick St Orange 144 Lords Place Mudgee 4/47-55 Market St
Ph: 63321077 Ph: 63620448 Ph: 63722568