SUMMER 2012/2013 Volume 59 Number 4
www.christianwomanmag.com
NO ORDINARY WOMAN JULIE TYRIE SHARES HER INCREDIBLE STORY
Be on your GUARD PROTECTING YOUR CHILDREN THESE HOLIDAYS
SEVEN TIPS TO A
stress free CHRISTMAS
Plus The lonely side of Christmas Listen to the Music Shop till you drop!
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CW contents: 9
Editor’s Letter
20 Listen to the music Nathan and Cassandra Tasker share openly about their faith, music and finding your ‘chalk’... Heather Villa
10 Be On your guard Protecting our children is the highest priority... says Berni Dymet 12 Seven tips to a healthy, stress-free Christmas Want to have a healthy, happy and stress-free Christmas? ...Dr Rita Hancock shows you how. 15 Gazing through the Christmas window Christmas is just around the corner, but how do you celebrate when your husband just doesn’t get it? Marion Stroud offers some helpful wisdom... 17 The lonely side of Christmas Daphne Tarango faced a bleak and lonely Christmas, until the kindness of strangers filled the void... 18 Holiday Hassles? No Way! ‘Why not broaden your horizons?’ encourages Sandra Cavallo as she explores the challenges of being a single traveller...
32
24 Caring for our future Jamie Gallagher reports on the amazing work of the Church of Christ in QLD, finding homes for our lost children...
12
26 Shop ‘Til you Drop! Hi. My name is Melody Tan and I am a shopaholic... 28 I’m tearing my hair out Olivia Nicola opens up about her private shame and how God is restoring her... 32 COVER STORY: A Life More Than Ordinary Julie Tyrie watched her child suffer from cancer then lose her husband to the same insideous sickness. Her story will inspire you...
20
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4 Christian Woman Summer 2012/13
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Girl talk.
And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger. Luke 2:12
W
elcome to the summer edition of Christian Woman magazine. It’s funny how Christmas brings out the best and worst in people. Car parks in shopping malls are over-crowded with flustered people rushing around buying gifts, decorations and food en-masse. It always astounds me when I hear of the credit card debt accumulated from this time of year. Take a moment and imagine that night when Jesus was born... stars in the sky and the cries of a newborn mingled with the bleating of a sheep. No fanfare. No decorations. No rushing about. Joseph and Mary with their tiny newborn rejoicing in the days to come. When did Christmas get so crazy? Our resident Doctor, Rita Hancock (MD) provides us with seven tips to beat the stress of the Christmas festivities. It’s time we reevaluate what Christmas is really all about and put some firm boundaries in place to ensure we don’t end up burnt out by the end of December. We also feature self-confessed shopaholic Melody Tan. She encourages us to shop ethically during this Christmas season. If you’re facing Christmas alone this year then we here at Christian Woman sends you a big hug with a prayer that you
will find somebody like Daphne Tarango. Newly divorced and living in a new town, Daphne sought refuge in her new local church and found a woman who would forever change her Christmas’ to come. Our cover girl this issue is a very special lady. Julie Tyrie has watched her child suffer through cancer and then her husband subsequently pass away from the disease. She gives us a glimpse into her incredible story on page 32 with an extract from her new book ‘A Life More Than Ordinary’. Above all else this Christmas season we pray you have a blessed and merry Christmas and a truly happy and prosperous New-Year! Stay connected with us via Facebook, Twitter or online at www.christianwomanmag.com. Blessings! Nicole Danswan Editor | Publisher
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6 Christian Woman Summer 2012/13
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BE ON YOUR GUARD Your Children Need Your Protection this Summer! Sleep overs and play dates are common during the school holidays, but be careful warns Berni Dymet
An Ill Wind is Blowing Well – a Royal Commission into Child sexual abuse in institutions will be underway sometime in the new year, and it’ll be running for goodness knows how long. The Irish Royal Commission into abuse in the Catholic Church ran for some eight or nine years, and there’s 8 Christian Woman Summer 2012/13
every indication that ours is heading in the same direction. Particularly with the broadening of the terms of reference (rightly so) to include all institutions, not just the Catholic Church which sparked the enquiry. I was interested to read an interview
with a man in his fifties recently, who had been abused at a church school as a child. He suffered silently for years, until his parents passed away. It wasn’t until they were gone, that he told his wife, adult children and a few close friends what had happened. Why would a man suffer for so
A Different Perspective.
long without even sharing it with his wife? Here’s his rationale: his parents sacrificed so much to enable him to attend this exclusive (Christian!) school, that he couldn’t bring himself to shatter their lives, by telling them what had really happened. They would have been devastated to know that they had placed him in such danger. So he suffered for his parents’ sake. What can I say. I totally, totally understand… but what a bloomin’ tragedy for this man. Now I could rabbit on over my disgust for the way some ‘Christian’ leaders have handled this whole thing. There appears to be more than enough evidence to warrant the investigation not only of individual cases of abuse, but also of long–term, systemic cover–up which led directly to further abuse.
I could certainly have a rant about that, but right now, that’s not the point. The point is this: just this one case study of a successful, professional man in his fifties, should concern every parent with children who are vulnerable to abuse. Because the pattern that we see happening over and over and over again, is that through fear, intimidation, shame … and the love of their parents, children who have been abused … children who are being abused, say nothing. They suffer in silence. Is there a single parent who has ever placed their child in the care of a church, or a school, or a soccer club, or whatever – with any inkling that abuse could be happening? Would we willfully or knowingly place our children in danger? Of course not. And yet it happens. It happens way more often than we’d like
to think. Time and time again, through normal, everyday behavior, children are exposed to abuse. And summer time, is an especially dangerous time. Here’s why. The Dangers of Summer What happens in summer? Our children go on their Christmas holidays. That means camping trips. It means movie nights and sleepovers. It means staying with relatives, or going away with friends. All great, fun stuff. Normal stuff. And come on, kids should have fun in their holidays. They should! But all this fun has a way of causing us to drop our guards. Mum, can I sleep over at Cassie’s place tonight? Sure honey, no problem at all.
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A Different Perspective.
They need to know that they are MORE PRECIOUS to you than anything in this world – and that you will MOVE HEAVEN and earth to protect them.
Ever had that discussion with your kids? Of course you have! So let me ask you, when you said yes, at that instant in which you made this ‘normal’, everyday decision, how much did you know about Cassie’s family, her home life, her father, her brothers, the people who visit their home…. the people who were going to be in that house while your precious child was sleeping there? How much did you really know, hmm? Let me run this by you. Imagine that you own the car of your dreams – I don’t know, a black Porsche let’s say. It’s not just a cheapish, second hand, dinged up old Porsche either. This one set you back a good couple of hundred thousand dollars. It’s your prized possession. And someone you don’t know is walking past your place, sees it in your driveway, knocks on your door and says: Hey, love that Porsche in your driveway. Would you mind if I take it for a quick spin? Sure, no problems, you quip… as you throw them the keys. NOT! How much more precious is your child, than some crummy Porsche? Now that’s a sobering thought. Wisdom versus Fear What’s tough about this is that we don’t want to live our lives in fear, and we don’t want our kids to live their lives in fear either. We want them to do normal, fun things as they’re growing up. Someone who lives in fear as a child, is going to have a dreadful time of it as an adult. And yet on the other hand, come on, let’s be honest – sometimes our approach to this terrible threat of abuse is so lax, that it beggars belief. So, what’s the answer? Where’s the middle ground? How can you be a responsible, loving, caring, protective mum without wrapping your kids in cotton wool? Well, as we head into this summer period with it’s obvious additional risks, 10 Christian Woman Summer 2012/13
here are three tips for you. They won’t eliminate the risk. The only way you can completely eliminate risk is by never letting your children out of your sight. But they will help to very significantly mitigate it. So here we go – some practical wisdom that works: Step 1 – Have the Chat Broaching the subject of abuse isn’t easy. How you go about it will depend a lot on your relationship with your children, on their age, their personalities. You know them hopefully better than anyone else. But they need to know that nobody can touch them in a wrong way – and that whatever the circumstances, whatever threats, whatever deceptions an abuser may throw at them, they can always and must always come to you. They need to know that they are more precious to you than anything in this world – and that you will move heaven and earth to protect them. How you do that, is up to you. But as brand Nike would say… Just do it. Leaving it unsaid doesn’t work. They don’t pick this up through osmosis. It needs to be explicit and it needs to be repeated from time to time so that in their heart of hearts they know that their safety is more important to you than anything else. Step 2 – A Failsafe Trigger You need to arrange something with your children, a code word, a look, a touch – something which you understand that no one else does. That way, they can let you know – even if they are under duress – that something is really wrong and you need to act now to get them out of danger. It could be as simple as a phone call or an SMS that says Mum, I forgot to turn off my hair straightener. Whatever it is, there needs to be an agreed signal so that you can leap into action and remove them from the danger.
It’s just like having an evacuation plan for your home in case of fire. It sounds crazy – until you wake up in the middle of the night with the house on fire. Step 3 – Keep Your Eyes Open When kids are venturing into unfamiliar territory, it’s your job to do the due diligence. Where will they be going and with whom? Who’s going to be there? Does Cassie have a mother and father at home – what’s the domestic situation? Does Cassie appear like a happy child, or is something not quite right? Visit, talk, look, investigate and don’t be afraid to ask the questions that you need to ask, to eyeball the places you need to eyeball, to meet the parents you need to meet – in order to satisfy yourself that this appears to be a safe place. And if you don’t like the answers you’re getting, if the situation leaves you feeling just a little uneasy, well… that’s simple. No darling, you can’t stay at Cassie’s place tonight. Better a cranky child than an abused one. The Final Word Jesus takes the care of our children very, very seriously. Here it is: If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of stumbling blocks! Occasions for stumbling are bound to come, but woe to the one by whom the stumbling block comes! - Jesus (Matt 18:6,7) My prayer is that this short article will just prompt your heart, open your eyes, cause you to prick your ears. Because whether they realise it or not, your children are depending on you. CW
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SEVEN TIPS To A Healthy, Stress-Free Christmas Don’t dread this festive season ! DR RITA HANCOCK has seven tips for a stress-free christmas...
12 Christian Woman Summer 2012/13
Healthwatch.
H
oliday stress isn’t just uncomfortable, it’s sickening. It literally makes you physically ill if you let it—and many people do. I know that because I’m a pain management doctor and I counsel patients on how to minimize their Christmas-time stress to minimize their pain and other symptoms. Are you ready for a surprise? In this article, I do NOT dwell on self-evident tips, like (1) get your Christmas shopping done early (DUH!); (2) stick to your budget (DUH!); (3) don’t over-eat (DUH!); and (4) get enough rest, pray more than ever, and exercise (DUH, DUH, DUH!). Like most people, you’ve probably heard these tips a thousand times but have trouble following through with them. Rather, I give you something better than an idealistic check list. I give you actual understanding for why you get stressed out in the first place at Christmas time. Probably, you believe lies about yourself at the subconscious level because of things the Accuser told you in the past. Sadly, those lies trigger stress, especially during the holidays. That’s why you have to prayerfully reach into those innermost places where you hide the lies, grab hold of them and reject them, and ask God to replacing those false beliefs with His healing truth. You can’t reject a belief unless you first grab hold of it, right? That’s what I help you do in this article. I’m trying to find a polite way of saying that your holiday stress is all in your head. Keep in mind when a doctor says something like that, it’s more than just an opinion. It’s a diagnosis. The truth is holiday stress is a much a matter of your beliefs, perceptions, and your mind-set as it is about your jampacked ‘to-do’ list. That’s why I offer you these seven stress-busting tips to help realign your mind set with godly truth: 1. It has to be perfect Holiday perfectionism is an assault from the enemy. You know which enemy I’m talking about: Satan. He wants you to lay unrealistic and unhealthy expectations not only on others but also on yourself. He wants you to believe your house has to be perfectly clean and beautifully decorated,
the Christmas meal has to be perfectly amazing, and the Christmas gifts have to be exactly just right, or something very, very bad will happen. Come on! What happened to extending grace to each other? 2. You’re good enough You are already good enough. Don’t believe what the women’s magazine headlines say. You don’t have to [bake a bazillion Christmas cookies, buy the perfect Christmas gifts, give only home-made gifts, attend every party you’re invited to, host a party, etc.] to be a good enough [parent, child, spouse, friend, employee, employer, teacher, student, etc.]. It’s like they take the ‘works’ mentality from the rest of the year and magnify it a thousand-fold during the Christmas season! Hear me now: you are more than good enough as you are. 3. It’s about YOU too You’re just as important as the people you’re trying to please. It’s nice to put others first and try to please them, but if you take this mentality to an extreme, you could get sick. Remember John 3:16: God loved YOU so much that He gave his Son for YOU, too—not just for other people. If you don’t take care of yourself, stop and consider why you don’t. Many people believe lies about themselves, like they’re bad, worthless, or not good enough. Those thoughts aren’t from God! 4.Fear not Have no fear. Subconsciously, many of us fear being rejected if we don’t ‘perform’ this time of year and live up to other people’s [sometimes unfair] expectations. Guess what. The world didn’t end the year I stopped sending out Christmas cards and baking Christmas cookies. Life went on. My friends are still my friends and my family is still my family. They just have fewer cavities.
Guess what. The world didn’t end the year I stopped sending out Christmas cards and baking Christmas cookies.
Join the conversation online: www.christianwomanmag.com 13
Healthwatch.
“Give your neighbors candles as gifts, instead of cookies that you broke your back to bake. Or give them nothing at all and blame me (I’m okay with that).” 5. It’s not your problem Other peoples’ happiness is not your responsibility. There’s a difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is momentary and lasts for about three hours after you open that “perfect” present. However, deep-down joy is something you can’t give or receive as a Christmas gift—unless you’re talking about God’s gift to the world: Jesus Christ. The best thing you can do for your unsaved family and friends is to show them how stress-free and joyous you are and make them want what you have. 6. Choose carefully Pick and choose which social events are most important. In reality, you might have to attend your office party to keep your job, but you shouldn’t have to go to the neighborhood Christmas party to
keep your friends. There’s no harm in saying, “I’m sorry but I can’t make it to your party. You know how busy things are this time of year”. Even if others are disappointed, they’ll get over it. 7. Cut the excess Trim the fat and make time for the important things (like ‘relationship’— with your friends and family and with the Lord Himself). What do I mean by ‘trim the fat’? Shop smarter. Shop online! Cook less! Bake less! Give your neighbors candles as gifts, instead of cookies that you broke your back to bake. Or give them nothing at all and blame me (I’m okay with that). Or give your friends gifts at Thanksgiving rather than Christmas (that’s what I do). Boycott sending out Christmas cards. Give gift cards as gifts rather than spend time in line at the stores.
For all you know, by following these seven tips to a healthy, stress-free Christmas, you might take pressure off of the people around you, too, and make them healthier and more joyous at Christmas time. Can you think of a better present than that? I can’t. CW
For more information about how stress affects the physical body—and how to overcome this stress with biblical truth, read Dr. Rita’s book, Radical Well-being: A Biblical Guide to Overcoming Pain, Illness, and Addictions (Siloam, March 2013). Also, follow Dr. Rita on Twitter (@ RitaHancockMD) and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/RadicalWellBeing. And for Dr. Rita’s biblical weight loss advice, visit www.TheEdenDiet.com.
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Relationships.
Gazing through the Christmas window Christmas is just around the corner, but how do you celebrate when your husband just doesn’t get it? MARION STROUD offers some helpful wisdom . . .
Q.
At a marriage enrichment seminar the speakers made Christian marriage sound so wonderful. But instead of feeling inspired I came home feeling REALLY discouraged. My husband is loving and supportive but he isn’t a Christian. We don’t pray together and see God doing miracles as a result. We don’t seek God together for our future... I could go on and on. All I want for Christmas is a marriage like that—but I feel as if my nose is pressed against the windows of a beautifully decorated department store. It’s full of must-have gifts, and yet I’m barred from going inside.
answer
I
think that some seminars should come with a government health warning! I’m not suggesting that your speakers weren’t telling the truth about their relationship but it’s possible to be rather selective for the purpose of a talk. I am sure they have their ups and downs in the same way as other couples do. When I was young I assumed if you married a Christian you would automatically live happily ever after. I was wrong! We all have a different faith journey and if you share that faith with your partner it is a tremendous privilege, but it is not a guarantee of effortless harmony.
Having said that, of course you want to share this foundational part of your life with your husband and when you get a vision of something that looks so wonderful, but seems so out of reach it is quite natural to feel sad. Grieving is not wrong, as long as you don’t wallow and stay stuck there. You may be familiar with the process we go through when we face loss of any sort. We may deny our feelings, and then feel cheated and angry with God for not answering our prayers in the way we had hoped. We may attempt to bargain with God as we pray. “I’ll do this if you’ll do that”. Depression can follow when prayer does not
appear to be answered and we feel that there is no way out. Eventually we reach the stage of acceptance, when we recognise that this is the situation in which we find ourselves for now, and trust God to help us to cope with it. ‘Tell God what you need . . . ’ I don’t know if you have children who send a letter to Father Christmas, listing the gifts that they would like to find under the tree—or wherever your presents go—on December 25th. Ours are long past that stage, but we do issue a ‘wish list’ to one another, to make the Christmas shopping easier. I wonder
Join the conversation online: www.christianwomanmag.com 15
Relationships. Of course GOD KNOWS what is in our hearts. But writing this different kind of Christmas list might help us to be clear about what we long to see happen in our personal and FAMILY LIFE, especially in terms of spiritual growth. what would happen if we did that for our Heavenly Father? In Philippians Paul reminds us to bring all our concerns to God, and James tells us that if we ask with the right motives, we can be sure that God will answer us. So the Porsches or the penthouse are probably out, but anything that makes us more like Jesus is readily available. Of course God knows what is in our hearts. But writing this different kind of Christmas list might help us to be clear about what we long to see happen in our personal and family life, especially in terms of spiritual growth. Some of our requests for personal change may require action from us as well as from God. For instance we might ask for His help to get to know Him better. Our part is then to make time to spend with him on a regular basis. When our prayers involve others we may have to leave the situation
entirely in his hands. Maggie tried every way that she could think of to convince her husband of God’s existence. Finally she gave up and as she prayed for him pictured him standing within the circle of God’s love. Then she simply said “Father please reveal yourself to Jon”. She breathed the same prayer day after day, until one day Jon had a dream in which God spoke to him very clearly. “I would never have thought of Jon coming to faith that way,” she said, “but God knew what would reach his heart rather than his head.” ‘And thank God for all that he has done . . . ’ Thankyou notes are almost a collector’s item these days, aren’t they? Parents rarely enforce the Christmas thankyou letter and yet we all know how it touches our hearts to have a note of thanks for a
carefully chosen gift. Having said that, how often do we thank God for the gifts that he lavishes on us day after day? It is so easy to complain about what we lack, instead of being thankful for what we have. You mention that your husband is loving and supportive. What a wonderful gift. Have you ever thanked God for giving you such a partner and thanked your husband for all that he is to you? Elizabeth Barrett Browning had the right idea when she wrote How do I love thee? Let me count the ways? Focusing on all that you enjoy together does not mean that you do not pray for that ultimate gift of spiritual unity. But we would all prefer to be praised and encouraged than criticised and condemned. So why not write that thankyou letter to God and your husband, and perhaps that window display won’t seem so far out of reach after all. CW
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Hospitality.
The lonely side of Christmas DAPHNE TARANGO faced a bleak and lonely Christmas, until the kindness of strangers filled the void...
Many people were away from their homes for the birth of our Saviour Jesus Christ–Joseph, Mary, the shepherds, the wise men, and most of all, Jesus himself. Several years ago, I was away from home for the holidays. Recently divorced, I moved to a new town the week of Christmas and knew no one–except my dog. I didn’t know my way around the town, and all I remembered was seeing a church several blocks from my house. I mustered up enough courage to drive to the church for their Christmas Eve candlelight service. Churchgoers shook my hand, talked to me, and asked why I was in town. A kind family invited me to sit by them. I felt at home. At the end of the service, I thanked them for welcoming me and wished them a merry Christmas. As I walked away, the mother-figure in the family came over and invited me to her family’s that evening–and if I had nowhere else to go, I could come to Christmas dinner with them too. At first, I declined and said I didn’t want to impose. But she insisted–it would be no imposition. They had a large family and everyone would be there. I nodded. “Okay.” I followed them home and enjoyed evening snacks and gift-giving. We laughed and played games. I felt at home. The next day, I joined them for Christmas. Again, I felt at home. It was just one invitation–but an invitation I’ll never forget. Every year since then, my friends and I have hosted a Christmas party for singles and others who have little to no family in the area. We enjoy each other’s company and it is the “home for the holidays” that most wouldn’t otherwise have. Just last year, we had almost 40 people in my home. We laughed and played games. Everyone brought a small gift. Can you picture a gift exchange for 40 people ages 2 to 74? I enjoyed every minute of it, and I trust they did too. They felt at home. As you and your family approach Christmas Eve, Christmas, and even the New Year holiday, think about those who don’t have a place where they can feel at home. Call them. Reach out to them. Invite them home. “Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality” (Rom 12:13). CW Daphne Tarango is a freelance writer who comforts others with the comfort she has received from God. Daphne is a recovery speaker and writers’ group president. She has published numerous inspirational articles in print and online magazines, including several entries in two collections: Women of the Secret Place and Chronicles of a Walk with Christ. Daphne is married to Luis and in the past several months, has resigned from corporate life to take a position as a stay-at-home mom of three adopted children. To connect with Daphne, visit her blog: http://DaphneWrites.com. Join the conversation online: www.christianwomanmag.com 17
Holiday Hassles?
NO WAY! ‘Why not broaden your horizons?’
encourages Sandra Cavallo as she explores the challenges of being a single traveller...
18 Christian Woman Summer 2012/13
Singlehearted.
H
oliday time is here, which means having fun, relaxation and recharging the batteries are in order. Now let’s be honest, does this excite you or does it bring a touch of the blues? Sound crazy? Why would something that is so good have the potential for sadness? For some singles, holidays can heighten the sense of loneliness, especially if most of your friends are in coupledom. Don’t get stuck in a pity party. With a little planning, singleness and holidays can be a harmonious experience. Here are some benefits. Freedom to travel Travel is one of my passions and as a single woman, I love to explore and have the freedom to go where I want to go. When there are no commitments to spouses or children, the world is yours for the exploring, so take advantage of the freedom your singleness brings. Dream big! Where’s a place this year you would love to see? And if things were to change on the single front, one you would find it hard to visit? In 2007 I chose to visit Tunisia in North Africa and Croatia. These were two destinations on my must see list. A trip to North Africa and Europe took some long term planning. So plan ahead. Suggest your holiday to other friends and see who else might be interested in coming along. And don’t strike out couples. I ended up travelling to Tunisia with my best friend and her husband and had a great experience because we have similar interests and we travel well together. Planning ahead may give time for others to join you. Having a holiday goal to work towards is a great way to motivate you during the year. Travelling also expands your view and enriches you as a person as you experience other cultures. Permission to scatter What if you haven’t got anyone to travel with? There are a number of opportunities available. How about going it solo? “Yikes” I hear you say! Before you bail on me, hear me out when I say travelling solo can be a very
rewarding experience. Be proactive about rest One of the benefits of travelling Holidays are a necessity in life to recharge solo is that it encourages you to meet and reassess. God created rest just as he other people and make new friendships. created work. Jeremiah 31:25 states, “I will That’s not so easy when you travel with refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.” a friend. It’s also a great opportunity to Not going on holidays because there’s no completely rest up and recharge. This one to go with will provide a disservice not year I travelled to Croatia for five days just to you, but also to those around you. on my own and plonked myself with a Schedule times in the year to ensure good book and journal on the beaches you’re having times of refreshment. It of Dubrovnik. I had some quality doesn’t need to be expensive or long. contemplation time. There was no one I think one of my most memorable else to focus on except me. When I had holidays was an impromptu camping enough of me I met some locals in my trip to Merimbula with two girlfriends. hotel, chatted and ate out with them. I I had only ever camped once in my life, was able to share about God and felt like but God blessed us with an amazing site I was on a spiritual high. It was bliss. overlooking the Pacific Ocean. He knew I If holidaying on your own is not loved the sea and it would refresh my soul. your thing, visiting family and friends in Ask God to lead you through your other states or countries can be a great rest times this year and for his favour to way to go. target you. He knows what you need and Organised tour groups are also a he is your provider. Take all your concerns fabulous way to meet other people about holidays and give them to him. who have similar interests to you. Choosing to rest in him takes us to greater Consider combining your holiday with levels of trust. CW a cause such as a mission trip. There are travel Thinking About Studying in 2013? companies that Apply now at Tabor Adelaide organise shortterm mission tours to amazing destinations adding purpose to your time away. It can be exciting and scary at the same time, but remember travelling is a great way to fulfil the great Tabor Adelaide offers Government accredited courses in: commission as we scatter Teacher Education: Primary, Middle & Secondary and go into all Social Science: Youth Work & Counselling the world. You Humanities: English, Creative Writing, History, Philosophy & Music never know who Ministry, Theology & Culture and TESOL you are going to Vocational Education & Training meet and who For more information about our courses, application process and FEE you are going to and HECS-HELP, call now on 83738777 inspire along the or visit our website www.taboradelaide.edu.au way. 181 Goodwood Rd Millswood SA 5034 tel. 08 8373 8777 fax. 08 8373 1766
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Listen to the Music HEATHER VILLA chats candidly to Nathan and Cassandra Tasker on faith, music and ‘chalk’...
“
This is what we were made for,” sings Nathan Tasker, Australia’s 2011 artist of the year, in his recent single called “Eternity”. The first five words of the single “On a busy Sydney street” reveal Tasker’s devotion to Australia. Yet the song exposes so much more, telling the story of Authur Stace, an Australian man with a mission that lasted four decades, who covered the streets of Sydney with the word eternity, written in chalk. Nathan encourages people to “find their chalk” and discover “the thing that God wants to use”. God’s grace is found at the core of Nathan’s music when he explained, “In the culture we live in here in America, and also in Australia, we’re taught that this moment is the most important moment. Get what you can, make life as comfortable and as happy a place right now as possible. I really think those ideas prevent us from longing for our true home, and often it takes tragedy or suffering to snap us out of that place, to realize there’s more.” Cassandra Tasker, Nathan’s wife, walks alongside her husband. When Nathan and Cassandra were married nearly eight years ago, moving to another county wasn’t part of their plans. God intervened. In 2006 the couple moved to the United States. Today their home away from home is in Nashville, Tennessee, where they share their hearts for Christ through music, while building relationships with mentors such as the musician Charlie Peacock. Cassandra openly reveals life’s joys and challenges, as she and Nathan allow Christ to guide their decisions. How did you and Nathan meet? 20 Christian Woman Summer 2012/13
Nathan and I met at church, quite conventional really. I had just moved to Sydney from Adelaide and Nate, very subtly (or maybe not so subtly!) joined my bible study group to get to know me better…We became fast friends. How did you know that moving to the United States was the right decision? We were growing complacent in our work in Australia and both felt the need to be pushed outside our comfort zone and challenged creatively by a broader music community. So we started to prayerfully put one foot in front of the other, trusting that God would direct our steps as we planned to move to Nashville. There were obvious points at which God could have redirected our path and made it impossible to move - like applying for visas. The ease of the smooth process was practical confirmation. The encouragement and wisdom of trusted family and friends was also very important to us. What advice do you have for other couples about keeping Christ at the centre of your marriage? Keep pursuing Jesus together, and I say this with “heapfuls” of grace! I know it’s not always easy, and it takes effort and even some vulnerability to seek Him together. For us, it’s a morning routine we enjoy - making coffee, reading our own books or scripture on the front porch, and then praying together before we get to work. I’ve noticed that the more we do this, the more our hearts desire it. What role do you play in Nathan’s music career? My role is to help take care of the business
Profile.
It was profoundly powerful for me to learn afresh that I had a Savior who knew my pain intimately, who had walked through life as a man and wrestled with God in sorrow
side of things, freeing Nathan up to focus more on the creative side, like song writing and recording. So I help with marketing and promotion, along with his overseas touring. We tour based mostly on invitations to play and we build around these opportunities with more bookings in the same state, or nearby. And then our year also has big blocks of time spent playing in the UK and Australia, usually following the release of a new album. I have been passionate about music my whole life and find a lot of joy in it. I studied music through school and have sung with worship bands in the past. So I really appreciate and value what Nathan does, but I am definitely most comfortable watching-on from the side of the stage! Nathan encourages people to find their chalk. What’s ‘your’ chalk? Ha-ha! Good question... Food! Does that count? I would hope to be hospitable for God’s glory, opening up our home and sharing in good community over a meal. How has God been a source of strength for you? 2011 was a year of enormous loss for Nathan and I. My dad died of a brain tumour in May, and he was extremely special to us, as a real anchor and dear friend. Sadly, only a few months following that, we lost twin babies at 22 weeks into my pregnancy. It’s hard to put into words how that much compounded grief feels. There is a physical ache and the heartwrenching desire to be “woken-up” and told it’s all a bad dream. The loss of innocence and new understanding of our broken world is shocking to the system... My source of strength and the person who I fixed my eyes on to walk through this was Jesus. It was profoundly powerful for me to learn afresh that I had a Savior who knew my pain intimately, who had walked through life as a man and wrestled with God in sorrow - I clung to Him as my lifeline. When our world collapsed, above all, I wanted to know I wasn’t alone, that “someone” cared, understood and could provide an answer. In my hurting God seemed far away and silent, too difficult for me to approach. I found an answer in the person of Jesus. And I don’t Join the conversation online: www.christianwomanmag.com 21
Profile. WE ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO TRAVEL TO BIG CITIES AND WANDER THE STREETS TOGETHER, FINDING NEW COFFEE HAUNTS AND READING, LOSING OURSELVES IN A DIFFERENT CULTURE. say that lightly, as I know it can sound cliché. By God’s grace, the Jesus of the bible, who I had grown-up with my whole life, came alive in a very real way and it was healing to see that God knew what I needed, even as I wrestled with what He has planned for us. Many months have passed now and I have found my way back to rest in God, learning to leave the unknown, sorrowfilled parts of our story in His hands, and thanking Him for the promise of future redemption You and Nathan recently returned from Honduras. Tell us about your mission experience. Growing up my family always had a sponsor child. We had the child’s picture on our fridge, and we would pray for them, write them letters, wonder about their lives and thank God that they
got to hear about Jesus because of our small involvement, on the other side of the world. When Nathan heard he could become an artist advocate for Compassion Ministry, sharing about their child sponsorship programs at his concerts, we jumped right in! We are so passionate about this organization and the amazing work they do to release children from poverty - both practically and spiritually. Part of his advocacy involves a trip every once in a while to see afresh Compassion’s work in other countries. I definitely hope we get to go again in the future! Each time Compassion asks, we are very grateful to get the opportunity to see God at work in other parts of the world, especially in the lives of children. As a couple, what’s your favourite thing to do for fun? How do you unwind from pressure?
We absolutely love to travel to big cities and wander the streets together, finding new coffee haunts and reading, losing ourselves in a different culture. Day to day, while in Nashville, we ride our cruisers (bikes), mostly in the afternoon - there is something very childlike and free about it! Thank you, Cassandra, for your authentic voice, for offering us a glimpse into your world, and most importantly, for showing others how Christ is our refuge. CW Visit nathantasker.com to read more about the Taskers, watch a cool music video, and find out about the latest tour dates. Plus, you’ll feel like you really know Cassandra when you visit nathandcass. blogspot.com.
“Equipping and inspiring you to bring the light of Christ into your community” Desley Millwood Director - Communications Churches of Christ in Queensland
www.cofcqld.com.au 2012-11-19_ Christian Women Magazine_180mmx10mm_art_mks_v1.indd 1
22 Christian Woman Summer 2012/13
11/26/2012 2:40:18 PM
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Spotlight.
Caring for our future Linda Tattam is a woman with a big heart. Her home has been opened to over 28 children needing foster care... JAMIE GALLAGHER shares her story.
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or 130 years, Churches of Christ in Queensland has been equipping and inspiring generations of people to bring the light of Christ into their communities. Through a range of missional and community care services, Churches of Christ assists families, the elderly and people in need through its church communities and care division, Churches of Christ Care. Director of Communications, Desley Millwood, said that with over 200 services in more than 100 communities, Churches of Christ in Queensland touches tens of thousands of lives each year. “We have been so blessed by God and pray that over the next decade we will become even more recognised for the love and light that we bring into each community,” Ms Millwood said. “We hope to empower others to do the same Christ-inspired work.” One such example of Churches of Christ’s community care work is the work its care services division, Churches of Christ Care, carries out in the area of child protection. Linda Tattam (pictured right) is a foster carer with Churches of Christ Care Pathways, and if she could, she’d have all children in need of care under one roof – hers. Mrs Tattam and husband Dean have dedicated the last five years of their lives to caring for those who need it most. The couple has provided a safe and nurturing environment to no less than 28 children in South-East Queensland, helping them find a path to a brighter future.
24 Christian Woman Summer 2012/13
However, it’s never enough for her, and she wishes they could do more. “If we could open up a house and have 50 of them, we would,” Mrs Tattam said. “Unfortunately we can’t do that, but there are children who need foster parents urgently. There is a big call for
foster parents at the moment.” In Australia today, there are thousands of children and young people who, for a variety of reasons, are unable to remain living with their own parents. Whether they have been victims of abuse, neglect or a tragic accident involving their parents, these children
We have a room set up for them; we always put a towel, a toothbrush and soap and stuff on their bed, so they feel they have something and a sense of belonging. need the care and support that organisations like Churches of Christ and carers like Mr and Mrs Tattam provide. “Children, when they first come into care, are quite afraid and fragile. They are sort of like an egg; you really have to be delicate with them,” Mrs Tattam said. “They have just been taken away from what they know as home. Dean and I try to make it as easy as possible for them. “If we know we’re getting a child in care, especially if we know the age group, we will pull out ageappropriate things for that child. “We have a room set up for them; we always put a towel, a toothbrush and soap and stuff on their bed, so they feel they have something and a sense of belonging.” Churches of Christ Care is one of the largest non-government providers of child protection services in Queensland. Each year the organisation provides assistance and care to more than 2,700 children who are unable to remain living at home with their parents by providing foster and kinship care, intensive foster care, residential and semiindependent living services, and family intervention services. Many young lives have been turned around and given new inspiration by the support and dedication of foster carers, who help to keep children and young people safe, while helping them to reach their potential. “The longest period of time I
have had foster children is five years ,and the shortest is two nights,” Mrs Tattam said. “They come into care for different reasons. Some will come in for long-term guardianship or a short-term order or just for respite.” Mrs Tattam said that being a foster carer presents people with a range of experiences that will not only help those they care for to grow and prosper, but can also help carers achieve a sense of purpose and meaning as they make a positive difference in the lives of children. “It’s funny, since we’ve become foster carers, we’ve had a few friends and acquaintances become carers also,” Mrs Tattam said. “Seeing what Dean and I have done has inspired them to become carers and to be able to give back to the community too.” This is just one of the ways in which Churches of Christ in Queensland is bringing the light of Christ into communities. A group of mainstream Christian churches which has been an active part of the Queensland community for 130 years, Churches of Christ in Queensland has grown to become one of the largest, most diverse notfor-profit organisations in Australia, active in the areas of ministry, early childhood services, child protection, social and affordable housing, retirement living, community aged care, residential aged care and dementia care. CW
About Churches of Christ Care Established in 1930, today Churches of Christ Care is one of the largest, most diverse not-for-profit organisations in Australia. Churches of Christ Care, a division of Churches of Christ in Queensland and working with Churches of Christ in Vic/Tas, provides a range of care services to vulnerable persons at different stages of their life journey throughout Queensland and in Melbourne, Victoria. Churches of Christ Care is active in the areas of early childhood services, child protection, community and affordable housing, retirement living, community aged care, and residential aged care. The organisation operates more than 150 services throughout Queensland and Melbourne, Victoria with the support of more than 2,900 staff and over 600 volunteers. Services provided by Churches of Christ Care are funded by a mix of government subsidies, grants, fees and charges for our services such as early childhood services and residential aged care, and through fundraising activities. Community housing projects have been made possible through funding from the Federal Government’s Nation Building – Economic Stimulus Plan. Our services are offered to all those in need regardless of religious background. Churches of Christ Care is built on a foundation of Christian values, commitment to quality care, and trust and respect for clients and the community. Visit www.care.cofcqld.com.au for more information
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“WITHIN THE LAST TWO YEARS, I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY BECOME THE PRINCESS OF CONSUMERISM...” For more information on responsible shopping visit: FAIRWEAR www.fairwear.org.au Fair Wear works to eliminate the exploitation of home-workers (outworkers) in the Australian clothing industry. WORLD VISION www.worldvision.com.au/ Act/ShopEthically The world, how it works, and how we can make a difference OXFAM SHOP www.oxfamshop.org.au A trading partnership, based on dialogue, transparency and respect, which seeks greater equity in international trade FAIR TRADE ASSOCIATION OF AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND www.fta.org.au The regional body bringing together all organisations and individuals interested and working in the fair trade movement 26 Christian Woman Summer 2012/13
Materialism.
Shop ‘Til You Drop! A NEW APPROACH Hi, my name is Melody Tan and I am a shopaholic.
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utting a smile on my face can be as simple as asking “Want to go shopping?” Stresses incurred at work can easily be erased with a simple exercise of retail therapy. In fact, just the thought of being able to meander in a shopping mall can often send my heart aflutter and my spirit soaring. Christmas and the end of financial year are probably my two favourite seasons of the year, with its sales and thrills of guilt-free shopping. Graduating and finding full-time employment may be the best thing to happen to me since I now receive a consistent fortnightly pay cheque. I don’t get into a shopping frenzy per se, but the ability to buy something without having to worry too much about my finances most certainly helps. After all, shopping can now be spurred simply by the emotional reaction of “Ooh, that looks nice!” Within the last two years, I have successfully become the Princess of Consumerism. After all, I now have the means to look the part of a fashionista, wearing the latest outfits in the coolest colours complemented by the trendiest accessories. Being a responsible shopper The thing is, I am also a Christian. That would not be a problem if it weren’t for that fact that being Christian means having “ . . . to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Mic 6:8). How is that achievable when I’m responsible for the deaths and suffering of people all around the world? Deaths and suffering resulting from my inadvertent need to consume. A need spurred on by society’s pressure to look good in the latest and trendiest.
“What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?” asks Jesus (Mk 8:36) There are so many things under the sun that I can gain with my shopaholic tendencies. There are in fact, many things under the sun that I have gained with my shopaholic tendencies. Clothing made by small children and women paid far below poverty wage in sweatshops where only two bathroom breaks are allowed in a 14-hour workday. Nonfair trade chocolate made from cocoa beans harvested by slave labourers who should be in school and not being beaten and working in such harsh conditions. Don’t misunderstand me, there’s nothing wrong with being a Christian and loving to shop. We are meant to enjoy the blessings that God has given us, and that certainly includes being able to spend within our means. I’m also not calling for the mass boycott of shopping malls all over the world. I am too addicted to do that without suffering major emotional implications. I’m simply asking for all of us to be more aware of the items that we are consuming and realise that there is a more godly approach to shopping. We need to remember that buying an item from the shops is not bad in itself, but buying something made through the exploitation of fellow human beings is. Purchasing a pretty top is not bad in itself, but becoming an accessory to the murder of a woman in a sweatshop is. Having that piece of chocolate is not bad in itself (our thighs may beg to differ), but contributing to the continued abuses of a young child in the farms is. Consuming is not bad in itself, but blind consumerism is.
Doing some research Particularly during this silly season of sales, presents and all things tinselly, it is perhaps the perfect opportunity to ponder on the things we will consume, either for ourselves or our loved ones. Shopping should not only be about what we can purchase. As Christians, we have a responsibility to our fellow human beings and to God to not only think about our loved ones with the gifts we can obtain for them, but to also realise the impact of our purchasing power. This is because the money we spend does not only provide us with possessions. Depending on which brands and stores we shop in, our money could indirectly be used by these companies to cause unnecessary harm to the environment or even encourage sweatshop or slave labour. Our moral obligation as Christians is to ensure that we do not inadvertently support something God would not. This means putting in some effort to research your favourite brands and finding out if they adhere to fair trade practices or produce non-environmentally friendly products. Not only that, it also means being able to say no to shopping in brands and stores that you know do not do so. After all, as a decent human being, we should participate in some form of responsible shopping that will help make the world a better place. CW Melody Tan is a recovering shopaholic, budding activist and works as a public relations officer. She is currently based in Sydney, Australia. She can be found at melodytan.blogspot.com
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MY PRIVATE SHAME...
I’m tearing my hair out! Embarrased, ashamed and seemingly alone, OLIVIA NICOLA shares her courageous story on her battle with Trichotillomania...
28 Christian Woman Summer 2012/13
Self Worth.
My hair loss was not as a result of genetic or hormonal factors or from treatment such as Chemotherapy. I pulled out my own hair due to an impulse control disorder called Trichotillomania (TTM).
I
t was the end of the school day as I ushered the children towards the lockers when I was caught off guard by the comment of a six year old little girl. She pointed to the crown of her own head and gently whispered “Miss I’ve noticed you’ve got a bald patch, you can get special shampoo to help you.” Startled by this comment, I ignored what she said and encouraged her to be quick and to get her bag ready for home-time. “You know it will grow if you use that special stuff,” she persisted. “Okay, I’ll try it thank you, now hurry along or you will hold up the rest of the class.” Throughout my entire teaching career a pupil had never commented on my hair before. I had been so diligent with styling and disguising the patches that I was shock with the boldness of the sweet six year old that showed compassion on me. At the time my hair was shoulder length, half of it clipped up and held firmly in place by a large amount of hairspray. There were two large patches of hair missing, one of the left side of my head the other on the top right, both exposing my scalp. My hair loss was not as a result of genetic or hormonal factors or from treatment such as Chemotherapy. I pulled out my own hair due to an impulse control disorder called Trichotillomania (TTM). The word “Trichotillomania” is derived from the Greek words for hair (“trich”), pull (“tillo”) and abnormal love (“mania”). The term was coined by Hallopeau, a French physician who published the first medical report of hair pulling in 1889. According to Trichotillomania Support Online it affects affects 1.5% of men and 3.4% of women worldwide. However, the accuracy of these statistics are debatable due to the large stigma attached to this disorder and the number of people who
suffer in silence. I first started to pull out my hair when I was 16 years old. It began with nervously rubbing my eyebrows, then pulling them out until they were patchy and needed drawing in. I learnt how to lie about the obvious loss of hair from early on, making up stories about how I was dared at a party to shave them off or that I had experienced a bad waxing treatment. Soon after I became fascinated with splitting the ends of my hair from my head, which then led to pulling each strand from the root. I was fascinated by the white fleshy bulb and moist black tip at the end of the root and I would engage in an elaborate process of running the tip across my lip, pressing the white bulb with my finger nail and on some occasions chewing it. This behaviour is apparently very typical among female pullers. As I tried to come to terms with this strange addiction I spend many dark and lonely times destroying my self esteem bit by bit. In 2006, I became a Christian and one of the most valuable lessons I learnt was about the power of bringing things into the light. I knew that God had seen my whole struggle but I realised that to help me break out of the awful cycle I needed to expose the problem to those I trusted. This was a very slow process but I began with baby steps and wrote letters to four, close girl friends explaining my disorder. This eventually led to an emotional time of prayer where I removed my head scarf and showed them the extent of the pulling. Confessing to the girls was incredibly difficult at the start. I became extremely emotional recalling what I was thinking and doing at the time I was pulling. The niggle in the back of my mind was that they must have thought I was really strange and that surely I could
have exerted a bit more self control. Or perhaps they were thinking this should not be an issue now it is in the open. Of course this was not the case, they were standing by me, encouraging and supporting me the whole way. They did however pose questions; these needed to be asked in order for confession to take place. Without confession there is no accountability. I learned very quickly that this was vital in the healing process. If you are struggling with something I would advise that you open up to Christian friends you can trust to stand with you in prayer. “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” (Matt 18:20). It is important to note that I was not making people responsible for my life as I was accountable to myself and blamed no one else for this problem. However, I carefully selected people that I respected, who I was comfortable having insight into my heart and who I knew would lovingly correct me. In Kris Vallotton’s book Purity – The New Moral Revolution he explains that you need to invite people to your life, not tolerate them. ‘Accountability requires you to invite – not tolerate input, correction, discipline and confrontation into your life, as well as comfort and encouragement’. Pulling my hair out felt soothing and would calm me down, particularly during stressful times. I would often slip into a trance-like state, pulling strand by strand for over an hour. It was not until I observed the pile of dark hairs next to me and spent time examining my fresh patches in the mirror that the frustration and deep emotion would sweep over me. The guilt I would feel after an episode was unbearable. I would feel guilty for a whole host of reasons. These included: letting myself down and relapsing, disappointing others (especially close
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Self Worth.
Pulling my hair would steal large amounts of my time, create dark thoughts in my mind and encourage me to speak negative words about myself. think is involved in all of our problems and it only breaks God’s heart when we waste time on big guilt trips. Guilt is the negative feeling we experience, but I came to realise that I needed to live by what I knew, his truth and his Word, and not by my feelings. God understands all of our struggles and would not want any of his children to remain in guilt. God’s redemption through Jesus Christ dying on the cross means that we are made righteous. It is important to remember that guilt is one of Satan’s biggest weapons against us. False guilt, which is the guilt sufferers experience after pulling, is actually a symptom of unforgiveness directed at ones self. Pulling my hair would steal large amounts of my time, create dark thoughts in my mind and encourage me to speak negative words about myself. In John’s Gospel, we can read about the wonder of God’s creation. In his power God was able to form everything by his words. “In the beginning was the Word and the Word was A remarkable story of one with God and woman’s fight overcoming all odds to save her life and the Word was family. God,”(John 1:1). It is easy to forget the power of our Jo Raymond words and how they can affect us. This caused Available now at Christian bookstores. me deep hurt and scarring. I www.facebook.com/AwakeningbyJoRaymond would scream at
family and friends), needing to bother other people to prop me up emotionally, not being accountable i.e. telling someone I was struggling before the pull, lying and denying it and not wanting to stop because of the ‘feel good’ release. This guilt is a psychological symptom of the disorder. This negative feeling caused me to enter into a vicious cycle of more pulling, as I felt stressed about what I had done to myself. I was unable to undo the pulling but made attempts to make my hair look better by spending hours brushing and re-styling to disguise the damage. As a Christian guilt is caused because of the way we think about sin and its remedy and also because of what we think God expects of us. How we
An inspiring, true story where an ending became the beginning. Awakening
30 Christian Woman Summer 2012/13
myself in the mirror as I looked at the horror of my balding scalp, and make statements such as ‘It will never grow back’; ‘You’re stupid and have no self control’; or ‘Look at the mess of your hair, you’ve failed again’. This would subsequently send me into a downward spiral of feeling depressed and terrible about myself. “Every time we open our mouth we either increase our power or decrease our power. The power of life and death is in the tongue. You can minister life or death to yourself based on how you talk about yourself.” Joyce Meyer Although it is incredibly hard to do at the start, begin with speaking one positive sentence about yourself or your situation and watch the power of the words you speak take root. Replace the junk that you may have been feeding yourself for so long. I have been on this healing journey for 18 years now; I had a major breakthrough last year and was pull-free for almost 12 months. Although God has the power to heal instantly, he sometimes chooses to take us on a journey, as he knows us better than we know ourselves, and his timing is always perfect. So if you are trusting for God’s healing in your life your journey will look different to mine. One size does not fit all; in the Bible Jesus healed everyone differently. I have recently had a relapse and am determined to not lose hope, but to fight the battle with the armour of God intact, and to give him all of the glory. CW
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Overcoming.
Julie Tyrie is a woman of strength.This extract is taken from her new book ‘A Life More Than Ordinary’. It is her personal account of God’s faithfulness during her very difficult childhood, her young daughter’s battle with cancer, and her husband’s battle with cancer and subsequent death. It includes a heart-wrenching, yet inspiring journal written during some of the darkest momentsmoments in her life.
T
here is a song that I hear on the radio by the band, Fire Flight. The song is called, ‘For Those Who Wait,’ and it speaks to me about what I have gained out of my experiences. One line in particular stands out. It says, ‘The hard lessons make the difference and the difference makes it worth it.’ I know this to be true in my life. All of my experiences have helped to mould me into a vessel that God can use. As hard as it is to recognise the necessity of my trials, and although at no time would I ever choose to lose Neil for any gain on my part, nor do I propose that it was God’s will to take Neil for such a gain, I would prefer to have gone through my life experiences so that I may be a worthier vessel, rather 32 Christian Woman Summer 2012/13
than stay as I was. Even though I was a relatively normal person in the eyes of most, there were things in my life that held me back and caused me to view things in an incorrect light. I had pride, unforgiveness, fear, self-centredness, anger, and a myriad of other things plaguing my life before I went through the fires of trial. My favourite scripture since my teenage years has always been, ‘When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.’ (Job 23:10, NKJV) I have been through the fire of testing, and my character has been refined and strengthened. This is important to me, because my character determines whether or not I can sustain my gifts and abilities and fulfil my purpose in God. In each trial that I faced there
was something that I could take away to help me endure the next. Such is the faithfulness of God to equip me during my trials that I may come out each time more beautiful, more pure, closer to Him. Just because my life had taken an unexpected detour did not mean that I was on the wrong path. Nothing happens apart from God’s will. And even if we would prefer to be anywhere else than where we are, it is far better to be where we are than anywhere else, because in that place God’s will can be perfected in our lives. The Bible talks of the value that is to be found in us experiencing trials in our lives. James 1:2-4 says, ‘My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing
Clockwise from top left: Maya’s first birthday whilst in hospital; Maya with her central line; Neil and Emmy with Maya before she lost her hair; Maya’s first cochlear ear implant in 2006, aged 6 years old
of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.’ (NKJV) I would certainly prefer to be lacking nothing, having endured trials, than living a comfortable life that is wanting and separated from God. It is through trials that we grow the most; the fire refines us and burns away the dross. Proverbs 25:4-5 says, ‘Remove impurities from the silver and the silversmith can craft a fine chalice.’ (MSG) We all endure seasons of trials in our lives. The key is in knowing that there is a purpose and reason for every season; that we are to endure knowing that there is a bigger picture than the pain we are currently experiencing, and trust God to do His work for our benefit and His glory. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, ‘To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven.’ (NKJV) There will be dark seasons in our lives, but after the night comes the dawn—the dawn comes every day. The season will end, and spring will come. Psalm 30:5 says, ‘Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.’ (NKJV) The Bible tells us that an easy life is not Join the conversation online: www.christianwomanmag.com 33
Overcoming.
THE BIBLE TELLS US THAT AN EASY LIFE IS NOT PROMISED TO THOSE WHO LOVE GOD, BUT PERSEVERANCE DURING TRIALS BRINGS FORTH ITS REWARD. THE WINTER MAKES THE SPRING MORE BEAUTIFUL promised to those who love God, but perseverance during trials brings forth its reward. The winter makes the spring more beautiful. One Peter 1: 6-7 says, ‘In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.’ (NKJV) Even though we are not exempt from trials, there are things that are promised to us as children of God that will sustain us: the promise that we are never alone (Hebrews 13:5), that God’s love never fails us (1 Corinthians 13:8), that we will not be given more than we can handle (1 Corinthians 10:13), and that ultimately, we win; receiving redemption, salvation, and eternal life through the blood of Christ (Ephesians 1:7; 1 Thessalonians 5:9; John 3:16). I have been encouraged recently by the scripture in Revelation 7:13-17, which speaks of the end days and their tribulation. Despite this context, it has provided me with great comfort with regards to the trials that I have faced in my life: Then one of the elders answered, saying to me, ‘Who are these arrayed in white robes, and where did they come from?’ And I said to him,‘Sir, you know.’ So he said to me, ‘These are the ones who come out of the great tribulation, and washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. Therefore they are before the throne of God, and serve Him day and night in His temple. And He who sits on the throne will dwell among them. They shall neither hunger anymore nor thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them, nor any heat; for the Lamb who is in the midst of the throne will shepherd them and lead them to living fountains of waters. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.’ (NKJV) CW Julie’s amazing biography, detailing her entire journey, is available in all good bookstores now.
34 Christian Woman Summer 2012/13
From Top: Neil pretending to be sick on his first day of chemotherapy; Neil, Emmy, Maya and Callie at the zoo... sick from chemotherapy that day; Neil in hospital with Maya, Emmy and Callie February 2009
ONE WOMAN’S TRUE STORY ABOUT LOVE, LOSS, & HOPE IN A FAITHFUL GOD
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‘JULIE’S JOURNEY HAS BEEN AN EXTRAORDINARY JOURNEY. WITH THE PASSING OF HER HUSBAND TO CANCER, JULIE CONTINUED TO RAISE HER FAMILY WITH GRACEFULNESS, EMBRACING THE GREAT LEGACY THAT GOD HAD CALLED THEM TO. HER AUTOBIOGRAPHY WILL ENRICH YOUR LIFE GREATLY. IT WILL ALSO INSPIRE YOU TO OVERCOME, BUILD FAITH AND HAVE DETERMINATION FOR YOUR GODGIVEN FUTURE. I ENCOURAGE YOU TO READ THIS BOOK. YOU WILL BE UNDOUBTEDLY IMPACTED.’ PASTOR DAVID MCDONALD |SENIOR MINISTER, EMPOWER CHURCH
A LIFE MORE THAN ORDINARY will have a lasting effect on readers as they go on a journey that deals with neglect, grief, loss, and pain, as well as hope, love, joy, peace, faith, and healing. It bravely and honestly battles with the question: What do we do when God does not answer our prayers as we had hoped and believed He would? This book will help readers to see the good in the bad, the light in the darkness, and the beauty in the pain. Pick up your copy instore or visit www.arkhousepress.com
JOURNALS TO INSPIRE YOUR LOVED ONE THIS CHRISTMAS & NEW YEAR.
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