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A quiet moment Commentary by Danielle Wilson My husband, Doo, had surgery last week, and though it was a minor outpatient procedure, sitting in the waiting room gave me precious time to reflect on the past year. Not a ton of time, mind you, as I needed to catch up on the celebrity scene (the Royals, the Cruises, the Honey-Boo-Boos), the latest fashion trends (I can rock a Russian-inspired hat) and work stuff (a teacher’s day is never done.) Through my extraordinary people-whispering skills, I discovered the receptionist’s son was in the same math class as my daughter and so wasted a good half hour discussing the pros and cons of middle school. But, after I’d settled in, popped a Diet Coke and had nothing more to do than watch the clock, the fact that Doo was under the knife rattled me a bit. What if something went wrong? People die on the operating table all the time; not generally 40-year old men in for what’s typically a pediatric procedure (ear drum repair and tubes for good measure.) But still, I don’t want to be a single parent! And how do parents of sick children handle this kind of stress day in and day out? I could live without Doo, but I don’t think I’d make it if something happened to one of my kids. So I guess the point of this column is to encourage you to take a moment during this busy
holiday season and focus on what’s important in life. Family, good health and employment. I’d have rather not spent my Friday in a generic lobby area drinking stale coffee with powdered creamer, but the opportunity to just stop, to step away from the demands of work, motherhood and marriage (and particularly from puppy ownership) and reflect on what’s good in my life was truly a gift. Doo and the kids are healthy, I have a job that I love, and I am surrounded by friends and family who, for the most part, tolerate me. All in all, 2012 was a very good year for the Wilsons. Did I pay for those few precious hours? Of course! A weekend spent nursing a hopped-up spouse who can’t hear anything while trying to shuttle kids to theater rehearsals, swim meets and soccer games made me not only bitter and jealous (at least Doo had Vicodin!) but physically and emotionally exhausted. I was also totally unprepared for my classes come Monday morning. But, having the time to appreciate all that is good in my life was the perfect way to end the year. So, here’s wishing you a quiet moment over the next few weeks, and many more in 2013. Peace out.
Danielle Wilson is a contributing columnist. You may e-mail her at danielle@currentincarmel.com.
Funny I should say that Commentary by Dick Wolfsie
This is my annual tip of the hat to all those who have perplexed, frustrated and amused me and, as a result, inspired one of my columns this past year. So, for 2012, I’d like to say thanks to: … the guy whose underwear I accidentally put on at the gym and then wore home because I was afraid to tell him the truth. Here’s to a clean start in 2013. … the people at Humana Health Insurance who wrote me a letter telling me they couldn’t cover my prostate exam because they have me listed as a woman. When I called, the customer service rep said they had a software problem. I told him that apparently I had a hardware problem. He didn’t laugh. I hope you did. … my massage therapist who twisted me into contortions, causing me to scream and groan in pain. I wish I could afford to go more often. … the now disgraced editor of a Minnesota newspaper who stole my newspaper columns word for word and printed them under his own name. When he was fired, the publisher said it was no big loss, that the column wasn’t always that funny, anyway. Wait a second! … the staff at my doctor’s office who requested that I fill out a form listing the cause of death of my parents, my grandparents, and all my aunts and uncles. I had neither the pa-
tience nor the necessary information to complete this task, so I wrote down the same thing for everybody. The nurse called to tell me that in all her years in medicine, I was the first person who had 12 relatives run over by a bus. … the good people of Taiwan who, according to researchers, live seven years longer than average because they dine at home instead of going out and eating restaurant food. Of course, these people were eating Chinese food just about every night. They can call it “eating in,” but here in the Wolfsie household, we call that take-out. … my dentist who sends me a reminder card for my appointment, then an email, followed by a text message and finally a phone call. Then when I arrive, the hygienist always says: “Oh, do you have an appointment today?” … my wife for forgiving my obsessivecompulsive packing method when we prepared for new carpeting in our home. I put things in boxes alphabetically. Cell phone, can opener, cancelled checks: all together. That’s how we finally found the cat.
Dick Wolfsie is an author, columnist, and speaker. Contact him at wolfsie@aol.com.
DIVORCE – WHAT TO EXPECT: NONCOMPLIANCE WITH THE DECREE OR COURT ORDER In most, if not all family law cases, the finalization of the divorce/case does not mean that all matters related to the case have concluded. Rather, the entry of a Court Order finalizing the matter is only a Court decision (or approval of an agreement) as to how all matters related to the case will be handled. Each Court Order contains provisions which must then be enforced in order to effectuate the decision. In many cases all provisions are carried out without issue. However, in the event either party fails to comply with the terms of the Court Order, mechanisms exist to gain an individual’s compliance. The Court can intervene after a party alleges noncompliance by the opposing party. Such an action can be initiated by filing a Motion for Rule to Show Cause (commonly referred to as a “contempt” motion) notifying the Court of the issue. If the Court finds that the actions of one of the parties rises to the level of a contempt citation, a variety of penalties exist to punish the past actions and encourage future compliance with the Court Order. Parties would be well-advised to seek the advice of counsel in determining how to best proceed with the enforcement of a Court Order as the remedies vary based upon the issue presented as well as the nature of the non-compliance itself. Enforcement of Child Support. Pursuant to Indiana Law, there are potential civil and criminal penalties for the nonpayment of child support; failure to make support payments can have serious ramifications. If the prosecutor chooses to go forward with criminal proceedings, the charges can rise to a Class C Felony, punishable by 2-8 years in prison conceivably, for the nonpayment of support in excess of a statutorily-defined amount. As the payee of a support order, you may request the Court exercise its power to hold the child support payor in contempt. This can result in a variety of potential orders, including that the contemptor pay the other parent’s attorney’s fees for any and all costs associated with maintaining or bringing the action; order that the contemptor perform community service; issue a warrant for the individual’s arrest for failure appear to show cause for the nonpayment of support; suspend the individual’s driver’s license; intercept tax refunds to
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Current in Carmel
pay against past-due support; and attach interest to a delinquent support balance. In exceptional cases, the Court can incarcerate a non-payor of support; however, rarely are parties jailed when found to be in civil contempt. Frequently, this is counter-productive as that person stands to lose their employment and become further delinquent on his/her child support payments. Be aware, however, that the Court must consider whether the acts of the non-payor are willful; if the circumstances under which this person is not paying are beyond their control, the Court may not believe a contempt citation is proper. Enforcement of Real Estate / Property Issues. If an unpaid obligation remains from a divorce, in lieu of seeking remedies as a contempt action, another option to explore would be to obtain a money judgment against an opposing party and enforcing it through regular collections proceedings. However, this change from divorce obligation to money judgment, generally, removes the contempt aspects and simply turns the debt into money with statutory interest and the ability to collect through wage and bank garnishments. Obviously, when the terms of the decree are not strictly financial, the option to convert to a money judgment is not appropriate. For example, if the parties agree to refinance a mortgage into one party’s name and that person subsequently does not qualify for the same, the third party (the creditor) cannot be ordered to comply with the Court Order. Therefore, the remedy requested will likely be to modify the terms of the Decree, and not to find the party in contempt. Additionally, issues exist when a party is unable to sell a home within a set timeframe due to the issues in the housing market, effectively frustrating the intentions of the divorce decree but not through the fault of either party such that a contempt award would be proper. At Hollingsworth & Zivitz, P.C., our team has the experience, the understanding, and the compassion to assist with your family law needs. If you have questions or concerns regarding divorce, mediation, collaborative law or any other family law concerns, please contact our firm at 317.DIVORCE or visit our website at www.hzlegal.com.
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