The success of building friendships by Joyce Dannehy, M.Ed, LPC
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Friendship building during the early years brings about people who are happier and better learners. Most importantly, developing positive beginnings to friendships may have long-term implications for social and academic success. Commonly children build two significant friendships at a time. Second born children have more friends; first born children prefer one friend at a time. Gender affects friendship building. Girls acquire friends more quickly because they mature faster than boys. As parents, we all want our children to have friends. The question is, “How do I do that?” I can teach them how to do their school work (whether they want to or not), ride a bike, fly a kite, microwave a meal. But how do I teach them the art of friendship making? It comes in steps. Step One. Practice role playing different conversation starters with your child. Easier said than done – but here are some ideas: What type of game system do you have? What are your favorite games? I love watching the Spurs, do you? Do you like playing inside or outside? Step Two. Provide social situations where children can get to know each other in a fun way while in group settings around pools, playgrounds or their sporting activities. (Okay, I’ve practiced conversation starters with my child, I have provided them with social situations where they can get to know each other in a fun way ...) Step Three. Play games with your children. They need to know how to be gracious winners, but more importantly, gracious losers. Show them how to resolve conflicts with each other in a respectful manner. Teach them how to express their feelings rather than saying they’re mad. Children need to have the confidence to say “no” if something is against their rules. When children say someone is teasing them, it needs to be taken seriously. Be sympathetic, reassuring them that everyone is teased – but find out the source. It is important that parents meet each other before the play date. The moment has come. The friend has arrived and the friendship begins. Now, it’s time for parents to ... sit back, relax, and call a friend. Or sit back, relax and make a new one. Joyce Dannehy is a 25-year Canyon Lake resident with 26 years in an educational setting and 15 years counseling child adolescent general and alternative populations and parents. She is a Certified Anger Solution Network Facilitator and a Certified Incident Stress Management (CISM) Facilitator with experience counseling victims of domestic violence as well as Court Ordered counseling for the abuser. For more information, call Joyce at 210-382-5147.
Comal Counseling Center Helping you be all you can be! Joyce Dannehy, M.Ed, LPC
(210) 382-5147
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