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Hey Lonnie, My last child just moved out a few months ago. For the first little while I helped her get settled into her new place. I’m so proud as I watch her spread her wings! However, now that the dust has settled and she doesn’t need me as much, I find I don’t know what to do with myself. Her dad isn’t taking it as hard as I am. Where do I begin with this new way of life I find myself in now? Signed, Empty Nest

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Dear Empty Nest, Congratulations on raising such an independent and strong young woman! It will get easier over time. It sounds like you and your daughter have a special bond. Good news is that will not change just because she lives on her own now. This new way of life you find yourself in is an opportunity to rediscover yourself. To spend some more quality time with your husband. Having children changes the dynamic in a relationship. When the child moves on with their own lives, the dynamic for your marriage changes again. Take some time to assess what you want to do or accomplish with this newfound freedom. Start with something easy. Something you’ve always wanted to do, travel, or to learn. This is a perfect time to invest in yourself after years of putting your daughter first. Have some meaningful conversations with your husband and see if he has some ideas for what he wants to do. Lean on each other. Give your love a freshen up. Pour into each others’ cups. Having someone there with you that understands what you’re feeling can make all the difference. I encourage you to talk. Speak about her often, and your feelings when they come up. You just may find that your husband is feeling a loss as well with her gone. You can also reach out to other empty nest parents through social media groups. Perhaps you have some friends who are going though or have gone through this as well. Surround yourself with people that love you and bring you joy. Daily laughter can lift the soul. If you’re worried you might call your daughter too often, try texting. Send her short messages or memes to let her know you’re thinking of her. It will help reassure you that she’s still reachable for you. Secretly she will love it. My daughter moved out last year and the little texting between us sometimes made all the difference. Figuring out and doing the things you love will help you get into a new groove. You’ll still feel sad that your daughter moved out, but the days won’t feel quite so long when they’re filled with enjoyable events. Wishing you all the best on your new adventure,

Lonnie

“Lean on each other. Give your love a freshen up. Pour into each others’ cups”

Hey Lonnie, I’ve just moved to Edmonton from my hometown. It’s the first time I’ve been completely on my own. Can you suggest ways that I can connect with support and maybe a couple of tips on how and where I could meet new people and start building towards some friendships? Signed, My First Step

Dear My First Step, First let me say congratulations! It takes courage to take such a big step on your own. You can type in “new to Edmonton groups” on Facebook and groups will pop up that are usually by section of the city. You should be able to find the side of the city you moved into. You can also look into “Meetup Edmonton” in your browser, and you will get links to groups like this: https://www.meetup.com/topics/social/ca/ab/edmonton/ You can find just about anything you’re looking for by typing it in your browser. From single groups, couples groups, to groups specific to your interests. You can check the website for your local library as well. As bonus information, with your library card you are able to take free online courses through them as well. It’s limited to a certain number per year, but it’s a great resource. You can also contact your community league, they will be able to provide you with various events happening in your community. They will be able to assist you with support outlets as well. Dialing 311 from your phone will connect you to a live person who you can ask a range of city related questions such as support you may be looking for. With current restrictions, actual group gatherings are a bit harder but when they are allowed again the MeetUp group offers a wide variety of options. Welcome to Edmonton! I think you’re going to love it here.

Thank you for writing in,

Lonnie