2020 the longest year of our lives
incovid physiotherapy
SPECIAL EDITION
20 BEST ISLANDS TO LIVE ON
VOYAGE TO THE CARRIBEAN
WHERE TO GO THIS SUMMER
Breathtaking views away from COVID hotspots |Â p. 14
Top secret hideaways to avoid quarantine | p. 35
Idyllic escapes from iso family meltdowns | p. 112
Me:
Boss:
This show is boring
Again, this is a Zoom conference
TABLE OF CONTENTS
incovid
TRAVEL Only within your 5km zone
04
Best Travel Secrets In Iso
06
100 Best Quarantine Hotels
10
Hide & Sleep
14
Tips for working from home
Where to Next?
Stage 3 Lockdown
34
STYLE Matching Team Tracksuits
44
School shirt with PJ pants
47
Face Mask Trends
51
A Day in the Life
Secret Iso Hideaways
20
Escapism
28
Pet secrets - working from home
Visit
incovid.com to download this current issue to your tablet
Get your face on
Olga's Top Tips
54
Managing Editor Olga Stechiwskyi Senior Writer/Editor Stuff Blackman Writer/Editor Audrey Pickering Executive Art Director Misty Kerr Contributing Writers Abbe Ide Jordon Ide Paige Chloe Josh Gardner Lucas Gardner Novak Nikolic Dejan Nikolic Joe Thompson Braeden Karametos Zoe Karametos James Collins Jessica Collins Columnists Bonnie & Toby Contributors Splotch Chief Style Editor Tami Copy Chief Isaac Dwyer Associate Art Director Gizzy Photography Editor Snoop Dog Cat Wrangler As if that would ever happen Designer Fluffy Interns Charlie and Harley Chief Photography Editor Mia Designer Mithrandir Jones Printing Do your own at home
No animals were harmed in the making of this magazine
Editor's Letter At the unprecedented time of writing and production of this year's incovid Special Edition issue, there has been a groundswelling of popularity for the newest conspiracy theory movement, This has been the longest year of our lives. While not as vocal as the 5G Caused COVID cohort, they are definitely one to keep an eye on. See page 497 for more details. Amid the unprecedented craziness of COVID, there has been cause for much celebration as we've learned to pivot, pivot, pivot and pivot again! What a dizzying time it's been. And with all this spinning, COVID is the gift that keeps on giving as we welcome
many unprecedented, new and exciting words into our vernacular. Along with the unprecedented overuse of many unprecedented words and pivoting phrases, a new volume has been added to the Aussie Book of Slang with Rona, sanny, iso, quaro, to name just a few. When will it end? Well, that's the 60 gazillion dollar question (not to be confused with the current Victorian deficit) and here at incovid, the only thing we do know is that noone else knows either. So sit back, relax and enjoy this unprecedented Special Edition issue and make sure you check out my tips on how to stay fabulous in lockdown.
Olga
I N T R O D U C I N G
Misty Kerr
My name is Misty Kerr. I am 16 human years old, even though I am a cat. My favourite part of having my Mum working from home: I get cuddles on demand extra treats appear in my food bowl through the day my mum is ‘home’ earlier from work I get to sit in on very important zoom meetings and yawn whenever I want I can sleep on the desk too!
THE STYLE SECTION
www.mistykerr.com | 5
ABBY
JORDON BONNIE & TOBY
5 fun facts with Abby (12) 1
Having mum and dad at home is convenient when I have school work questions (but we do not get a break from them, They are always home! Haha).
2
Home schooling can be difficult because you sometimes need face to face help.
3
My dog, Bonnie is always happy but our cat, Toby is a bit stressed and anxious (maybe because the dog is in the house more now).
4
My favorited thing about being at home is lots of sleeping in.
5
I like that I can stay in my tracksuit pants all day.
Abby rocks | 7
Bonnie the dog & Jordon
5 fun facts with Jordon (8) 1
I like having mum and dad at home because they can help me with any school work I am having trouble with.
2
3
4
My favorited thing about being at home is going for lots of bike rides.
8 | Jordon and Bonnie
Home schooling can be difficult because you need to work on a computer.
My dog, Bonnie is happy we are home and is better behaved but our cat, Toby is a bit stressed.
5
I like that I have time to build my logo and cook like MasterChef.
If a star fish is cut into pieces, each piece will become another starfish.
Genuphobia is the fear of knees. Strawberries contain more vitamin C than oranges. There are more than 3,500 living species of cockroaches.
The first email was sent on 1972. Toby, the stressed out cat
Toby wants to be in iso | 9
PUBLICATIONS TEAM HARD AT WORK New PUBS team member Stuff taking it all in his stride. The new member of the PUBS team got off to a shaky start when he refused to get involved in the ongoing stoush about JoP minutes. 'I had heard there was factional infighting, but we each have a role to play and mine does not include minute taking. It's unfortunate that he [Marko] attempted to use an Executive Order against me however, the case was pretty clear.' According to sources, Marko had begged several staff members to 'Please write up the minutes!' Another source (who did not wish to be named) claimed he even resorted to bribery, Those allegations have not been substantiated.
New recruit Stuff - a job well done. Stuff has impressed everyone in the short time since he joined the team, and was promoted to the position of Senior Writer/Editor setting the cat amongst the pigeons. 'I'm very happy to be on the team,' said Stuff. 'Working from home has some great perks. I love being able to wear my jeans. They're so comfy. 'And I've learned all about incontinence, which is very handy when I'm on my regular one hour walk.'
New recruit Stuff says working from home has many challenges, but worth it for the perks.
Stuff in Pubs | 11
Fiona Jones candidly chats with incovid about life in lock down.
FIONA JONES Introducing Mithrandir
Mithrandir (Mithy for short) is enjoying having 'mummy' home because he gets access to his favourite sunbed in the study/craft room everyday now. Part of my 'get out of my seat and move about' includes untangling Mithy from the light curtains after he stretches out in odd poses, and patting him every so often just so he knows I am still keeping an eye on him as he snoozes most of the day away. I am loving not having to travel 3-4 hours a day on public transport. I've been using the time to sleep a bit longer in the mornings, and in the evening I have been getting out on my bicycle a lot more often, and tackling a variety of around-the-home projects that I usually only have enough time to work on weekends: my garden, a timber monitor stand for my Dad, refurbishing a dining chair (replacing stretched webbing with plywood seat) and decluttering old boxes of junk.
IN THE SPOTLIGHT
Have also finally opened my rock painting kit and made a start on making rock art.
C o n n e c t e d n e s s
Whilst I'm missing seeing friends and playing board games together, we've found some online games that are a lot of fun and can be played together whenever we're not busy. Living two streets away from one of my best friends has also meant that with appropriate social distancing considerations, I can drop around bits and pieces that she needs (like cardboard for her garden). Since we converse online, we try to keep it to a wave and a smile in person but that's sometimes all you need to feel good. My postal lady also knows now that I don't just grab my parcel and go back inside I wait until she looks up before she drives off so that I can wave to her. LOVING the all staff 'drinks' on Fridays! Dan M has made it a lot of fun, and it's great getting to see the interstate staff more often! I also really enjoy my team's virtual coffee chats. Sometimes it includes work, sometimes it's thinking up the day's silver linings, sometimes it just involves sharing ideas for those keeping kids occupied at home full-time. If anyone wants some examples, just google: string laser maze, hydro painting, and rock painting. Age suitability varies. If you need a laugh, there's a Facebook group called "Bin isolation outing" and it is just hilarious. Australia and the world has never felt so close than when we're all having a laugh together. Since I began working from home, my sister Jessica has made two hummingbird cakes, one choc banana caramel cake, (pretty sure there was a plain chocolate cake at one point), Easter cheesecake-in-chocolate-egg, and has learned how to make her favourite sushi. Suffice it to say, whilst my diet might not always be the healthiest, it has been unbelievably delicious!
Mithy the towel hogger | 13
FUN FACT ABOUT MUM (ANJA) WORKING FROM HOME
Did you know she's always on conference calls?
Anja's kids speak out | 15
WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING HOME SCHOOLED? It's fun because you have some quiet. It's bad because you can't see your friends...
16 | Novak & Dejan
DID YOU KNOW?
My mum types like a rat's foot running? I.e. she types really fast!
What's it like being home schooled? ! UL F IN PA
J O S H
( 1 0 )
J O S H & Splotch LUCAS What's it like being home schooled? ! NG I R BO
L U C A S ( 8 )
70
What's it like having mum working from home?
it's good that
i'm happy to
we are all at
not be in the
home
car all
together!
the time!
L U C A S
J O S H
70 Mum's the word | 19
Our pet is a Blotched Blue Tongue Lizard called Splotch. Josh got him as his birthday present last year in June … so in May Splotch turned 1.
Our pet is a lizard so probably doesn't care if we are home or not.
final word on hoMe schooling
you get to
when we have
leave school
our ‘Brain Breaks’
early if you
we get to go on
are done!
the trampoline
J O S H
L U C A S
We can have food & Easter eggs more often!
70 20 | Diggging up the dirt on Splotch
JAS & TANYSH
CONNECTING
IN
LOVE
Jas opened up with incovid about the joys of parenthood. This lockdown period gave me a chance to spend quality time with my 18 month old son, Tanysh and experience the joys of parenthood. Some of the things that we loved to do together are: gazing at stars painting canvas sharing household work – cooking, cleaning etc. going for long walks and observing nature closely (admiring flowers, birds, clouds) blowing soapy bubbles and catching them singing silly songs together.
Tanysh | 23
Are you looking at me? | 23
I N T R O D U C I N G
TAMI A
L O V E
S T O R Y
H E R E I S A D R A W I N G O F M E T H A T M Y M U M M Y H A D D O N E T O R A I S E M O N E Y F O R A C A T R E S C U E . L O O K S J U S T L I K E M E , D O N ’ T Y O U T H I N K ?
FACTS ABOUT TAMI H i ! M y n a m e i s T a m i a n d I a m a t h r e e y e a r o l d r e s c u e c a t . M y m u m m y i s M e l i s s a . I l i k e t o s l e e p o n m y m u m m y ’ s k e y b o a r d w h e n s h e i s t r y i n g t o w o r k , a n d I a l s o r e a l l y l i k e t o c h e w r i g h t t h r o u g h h e a d p h o n e a n d U S B c a b l e s . G o o d t h i n g m y m u m m y k e e p s b u y i n g n e w o n e s f o r m e t o c h e w ! L a t b e e t i m f o r
e l y m y n a t h o e a n d t m e b e c
m u m m y h a s m e a l l t h e h i s i s g r e a t a u s e :
1 . M O R E F O O D : M l i t t l e c r y i n g a c t t i m e m u m m y l e a v s t u d y h a s s o f a r r e s u l t e d i n a n e x m e a l s . # w i n n i n g
y c u t e e v e r y e s h e r t r a
3 8
2 . M O R E C U D D L E S : I t i s p r e t t y h a r d t o i g n o r e m y g o r g e o u s n e s s w h e n I s p r e a d m y f l o o f y b o d y o u t a l l o v e r m u m m y ’ s k e y b o a r d . O h a r e y o u r h a n d s p i n n e d u n d e r m e ? T o o b a d , s o s a d .
26 | ME-OW
3 . M O R E M E O W I N G : T h e m o r e s h e s h u t s m e o u t o f t h e s t u d y , t h e l o u d e r I g e t . I t h i n k e v e n t h e n e i g h b o u r s k n o w m y s o r r o w a t b e i n g r e f u s e d e n t r y t o t h e o f f i c e n o w . I ’ m g e t t i n g v e r y g o o d a t c r a n k i n g u p t h e v o l u m e . M E - O W .
M E - O W
4 . W A R M S E A T S : W h e n m y m u m m y g e t s u p f r o m h e r s e a t g u e s s w h o i s n o t g o i n g t o l e t t h a t h e a t g o t o w a s t e – m e ! A n d d o n ’ t t h i n k y o u c a n s i t b a c k d o w n a g a i n b e c a u s e c h a i r i s n o w m . i . n . e . M i n e .
5 . S H A D O W : N o w t h a t m u m m y i s h o m e I g e t t o f o l l o w h e r e v e r y w h e r e s h e g o e s ! I t ’ s h a r d l y m y f a u l t t h a t I a m b l a c k a n d s h e c a n ’ t s e e w e l l i n t h e d a r k . I w i l l m i s s m y m u m m y w h e n s h e g o e s b a c k t o w o r k . I w i l l m i s s h e r f o o d a n d I w i l l m i s s h e r f o o d . D i d I m e n t i o n t h a t I l i k e f o o d ? T h a n k y o u f o r a s k i n g m e t o b e i n t h e m a g a z i n e i n s t e a d o f h a v i n g t o l i s t e n t o m u m m y g o o n a n d o n a b o u t t h e m a g a z i n e s t o m e a l l t h e t i m e . M y c a r i n g a b o u t h e r h a v i n g t o w o r k i s e x a c t l y z e r o .
M E - O W
X X T a m i
I S A A C
J U L I E
S H A R E S
S O M E
H O M E
T R U T H S
Julie Dwyer comes clean with incovid about home schooling, working from home and online shopping!
Isaac is an 8 year old cavoodle and we love him like one of our children (some days more so!).
Isaac loves sleeping on the floor next to me in the office when I’m working.
Isaac loves that he gets taken for a walk every day at the moment. I also have my 15 year old daughter Giselle doing her year 10 studies at home, but she’s not as much fun as Isaac to work with!
Giselle has a love/hate relationship with home schooling – she loves sleeping in 'til almost 8am, but hates not seeing her friends or going shopping. But she has become a whiz at online shopping!
Isaac is number 1 | 29
CATS IN COVID
A U D R E Y
32 |Â Â Working from bed
Secret feline business | 33
A N N E T T E JULY ISSUE
PAIGE & CHLOE
spill the beans!
"I travelled half way across the world to marry the man of my dreams."
FLUFFY THE CAT
Annette sat down with incovid to spill the beans on her fascinating life and opened up her photo albums to reveal all!
'I was an athlete at the age of 14 and got to the Australian championships but sadly my journey as a runner ended after a bad ankle injury. I love camping and the great outdoors and still do. 'I dated a lead singer of a band at age 21 and I choreographed a solo dance at age 16 to the Eye of the Tiger (Rocky Movie), then I reconnected with my father after 30 years and found that he was a Doctor of Clinical Psychology and taught at University of Melbourne and now retired still teaches students at the hospitals and is also a world renowned Artist with works all over the world.'
' I w w o r t d r
t a l h e
r a v e l l e d h a l f y a c r o s s t h e d a n d m a r r i e d e m a n o f m y a m s S a h i r e ' A n n e t t e
2001 Annette with her daughters Paige (5) and Chloe (1) 'Paige was due to be born on Friday 13th but she decided to arrive on Labour Day March 9th. 'Chloe was born February 28th. Lucky it wasn’t on February 28th otherwise we would have only been able to celebrate her Birthday every 4 years!'
2007 Paige (10) and Chloe (9) first photo shoot “Cool kids.”
2011 Family trip to Rottenest Island Perth WA
2012 'Paige and Chloe both loved the arts. Paige is now an official Australian Actor and Chloe is completing her studies in Animal studies as a Vet and in law.'
Fluffy Cat is 15 and thinks she is human. Annette says, 'She enjoys going for a walk everywhere with me and is very much part of the family. 'Not sure how she will go after getting used to me being around at home so much.'
The fish jumped into my mouth | 37
FELINE REVIEW
PAGE 38
INTERVIEW
LIFE IN LOCKDOWN WITH GIZZY AN INTERVIEW WITH THE REAL MANAGER OF PEOPLE AND CULTURE
Gizzy Vanderkley is not your average feline. Not only is he the boss at home, with COVID restrictions forcing staff to Work From Home (WFH), this presented Gizzy with the opportunity to monitor his servants - staff at all times. Gizzy is very independent and life goes on as normal regardless of the humans in the house working from home. Gizzy is not a lap cat and loves adventuring out in the garden for some sunshine so while WFH is happening the big door is open and he doesn't have to limbo through the cat door to get out. Gizzy adores food like every other cat. "The best thing about the WFH situation is that I get my
"WFH created the perfect opportunity
dinner a bit earlier at night as I can start reminding with loud meowing a bit earlier in the day compared to when everyone is stuck in traffic."
38 | Lockdown with Gizzy
to remind my human staff who really is in charge." - Gizzy Vanderkley
39 | Gizzy
"This lockdown is exhausting." ~ Gizzy Vanderkley ~
incovid Special Edition | 41
BRAEDEN Barbara
& Snoop Dog
ZOE The truth revealed!
is this 5km? | 43
Braeden (7) The best thing about school at home is that it doesn’t last as long as school. I can also play video games and basketball when I finish doing my work…
Barbara (39) We (like everyone else) went on many bike rides, scooter rides and long walks to try and use up energy...
What is it like being home schooled? Snoop Dog (9 months) I can’t wait 'till these kids go back to school so I can get some sleep…
Zoe (5)
I like working from home because my family is here helping me. I love being with my dog and watching cooking shows.
Shocking truth exposed An unknown source has revealed, "You can also note that the picture of them on the iPads looks like they are hard at work… but in actual fact it's Minecraft."
Minecraft | 45
BRUSH STROKES WITH
ELAINE GRANT
TALENTS IN LOCKDOWN
The talented artist Elaine Grant gives us a sneak peak of her upcoming exhibition
Escaping iso | 49
POST COVID
TRAVEL DESTINATIONS
Will we ever travel again? | 51
TOBY
Fun fact 1 Mum and dad are always there to help me
Fun fact 2 I can listen to music while working
Fun fact 3 I can have my dog fall asleep on my lap
Fun fact 4 I can still see my classmates in our meetings
Fun fact 5 I can have whatever I want for lunch
Talking truths with Toby |Â Â 53
OLGA BEAUTY SECRETS REVEALED FEATURE
ADVICE
INTERVIEW
Managing your hair in lockdown
Makeup tips in iso
In our exclusive interview, Olga reveals her secrets to managing the most challenging of hairstyles from home.
Olga shares her favourite beauty tips so you can look your best and wow your colleagues and friends on Zoom.
OLGA BEAUTY SECRETS REVEALED
Olga looks back on all her achievements and reminds us all to look forward to a brighter future.
Never forget how far you've come. Olga gets straight to the point when talking fashion and style. 'Be big, bright and bold! Just because you're all alone, working at your tiny little desk, in your tiny little bedroom, this is no excuse to dress like a tiny little person. 'You must remember to Zoom in life and not just when you have a work meeting', shouts Olga. 'You must be always thinking of new and exciting ways to wow your colleagues and the postman (if you get to the door before he escapes).
No colour is too bright. No hairstyle too big. And let's face it darlings, when you can't see your hairdresser for 4 months because of mandatory lockdowns, anything is possible. Go crazy!' Of course going crazy is exactly why we know and love Olga. She's always keeping us on our fashion toes with her everchanging hairstyles and stunning makeovers. 'I look back and it brings a tear to my eyes. I am so lucky to be so beautiful - always.'Â
JOE & CHARLIE
What's it like having mum and dad working from home? I get to sleep in and have screen time.
What's it like being home schooled ? I don’t like it. I don’t like having to do work at home.
What's it like for Charlie having you home all the time ? Charlie is very old now so he sleeps a lot but he likes hanging out in my room.
What other fun facts do you want to share with your readers ?
I like talking to my friends on webex.
I like eating treats from the fridge and pantry when mum and dad are in meetings and my sister Lucy is working in her room.
I want the virus to end because it is stopping me from doing things I like.
The perks of home schooling | 57
GILLIAN & HARLEY incovid asked Gillian how working from home impacted her relationship with Harley.
'Harley curls up in his bed next to my desk and sleeps most of the day, looking up and out the window every now and then to growl at someone walking past the house. 'Because we’re not exactly getting out much, he now associates me putting shoes on with us taking him out for a walk so every time I start to put shoes on he gets super excited and dances around his lead. 'Both Harley and I might struggle with separation anxiety once this working from home thing is over.'
Harley | 58
JESSICA & JAMES
O N E 60 | Behind the mask
H O U R W A L K C O V I D S T Y L E
JAMES COLLINS (17)
I’m loving hot sandwiches.
lunches
at
school
instead
of
Everyone notices my Dad working on the computer behind me when I’m home schooling & say Hi !! Loving the casual clothes instead of a uniform·
to school every day
No rushing to get to school or fighting others on public transport and carrying a heavy school bag· Loving school focusing on completing all work during school time and not loads of homework.
H O M E S C H O O L I N G
JESSICA COLLINS (12)
It looks like mum and dad do nothing all day – just chat on the phone and drink coffee. When my parents walk in on me home schooling I usually have my microphone on and then my teacher can hear them talking to me. Sparky our dog is very lazy. Mum forces me & my brother out of the house for an hour every day to walk around the neighbourhood.
SUE & BERNIE
62 | Sparky is a cat dressed up as a dog
We are enjoying wearing very casual clothes to work (tracksuits & slippers). The family has been enjoying hot every day and playing cards or Uno.
lunches
If I walk into the kids room to check what they want for lunch – 25 faces from the online school classroom are all looking at me embarrassing! I have realised my dog Sparky is actually a cat. He spends most of the day sleeping on the couch next to my computer and then moves to our bed to relax after a hard day of sleeping. Sparky the dog is also taking him for a walk‌
W O R K I N G F R O M H O M E
way
over
everyone
MAREE & MIA CAN YOU BELIEVE IT HAS BEEN 3 MONTHS TODAY, SINCE WE ALL LEFT THE OFFICE TO WORK AT HOME! MY CAT MIA HAS DECIDED THIS MORNING SHE WANTS TO HELP ME ON THE LAPTOP! Maree Whittingham 18th June 2020
Lockdown laws enforced | 65
Calendars created to taunt VictoriansÂ
Can we all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to: "Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?" #5yearplan
CONTRIBUTORS
Gillian McDermott / Harley / Jordon Ide / Abby Ide / Karen Ide / Bonnie / Toby / Leanne Kerr /Misty Kerr / Elles Vanderkley / Gizzy / Toby / Annette Johnson / Paige / Chloe / Fluffy/ Jo Gardner / Josh Gardner / Lucas Gardner / Splotch / Fiona Jones/ Mithrandir / Anja Nikolic / Novak Nikolic / Dejan Nikolic / Jen Thompson / Joe Thompson / Charlie / Melissa Mitchell / Tami / Julie Dwyer / Isaac / Jas Bindra / Tanysh Bindra / Maree Whittingham / Mia / Barbara Karametos / Braeden Karametos / Zoe Karametos / Snoop Dog / Olga / Stuff / James Collins / Jessica Collins / Bernie Collins / Sue Dinner / Elaine Grant / Audrey
From all of us at incovid we'd like to say a huge thank you to everyone for sharing your stories and photos. Stay safe and wash your hands!
INCOVID 2020
Your screen's frozen
INCOVID 2020
#WASH YOUR HANDS