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The Corne¬ Daily Sun Vol. 130, No. 137

FRIDAY, MAY 2, 2014 ! ITHACA, NEW YORK

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Slope Studio, a new art and collaboration space, is set to open at Willard Straight Hall next semester. | Page 3

The men’s lacrosse team will take on Penn in the Ivy League tournament semifinals tonight. | Page 16

Jesse Weissman ’16 calls Neighbors one of the grossest films of 2014. | Page 8

Protesters March, Declare Death of Shared Governance By NOAH RANKIN Sun City Editor

In commemoration of May Day, over 50 students held a demonstration on Central Campus, which culminated in the occupation of the intersection of East Avenue and Tower Road Thursday afternoon. Student protesters demanded that the University address a number of issues, including TCAT bus passes, workers in Bangladesh, climate justice and Palestinian liberation. “We’re all out here for a lot of different reasons, but this is historically a day to celebrate workers’ rights,” said Anna-Lisa Castle ’14, an organizer of the rally and a columnist for The Sun. “Obviously, a lot of See MAY DAY page 4 MICHELLE FRALING / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

All together now | Student protesters congregate in the intersection of East Avenue and Tower Road (top) after marching down East Avenue (right) during a demonstration commemorating May Day. Students called on the University to make change on a number of issues, including TCAT bus passes, workers in Bangladesh, climate justice and Palestinian liberation.

Univ.Announces Annie O’Toole as Next Graduate Student Trustee

O’Toole will begin two-year term next semester

By ANUSHKA MEHROTRA Sun News Editor

ELIJAH REICHLIN-MELNICK / SUN FILE PHOTO

On the road | A TCAT bus travels down Tower Road. President David Skorton has 30 days to respond to a resolution which asks the University to increase its subsidies to TCAT.

Skorton:Univ.Struggling to Find Money for TCAT Subsidies By TYLER ALICEA Sun Managing Editor

President David Skorton said he is still deciding on the future of free bus passes for first-year students just days after the University Assembly called upon Cornell to increase its subsidies to Tompkins Consolidated Area Transit. The U.A. voted April 22 in favor of increasing the University’s subsidies to TCAT, in light of a $700,000 annual budget deficit facing Transportation Services. Approximately $500,000 of that deficit is

caused by an increase in TCAT’s freshmen ridership. The Assembly previously considered passing a resolution cutting the free bus passes after a U.A. committee determined that was the best solution to solving the deficit problem. After deliberating, however, the U.A. voted to ask Cornell to increase its subsidies. After the resolution’s passing, President Skorton has 30 days to respond to it. As of Wednesday, however, President Skorton See SKORTON page 5

After a two-day voting period, Annie O’Toole grad will serve as the University’s first professional and female Graduate Student Trustee, the Office of the Assemblies announced Thursday. There were no challenges to the twocandidate election, according to Assemblies Coordinator Amy

O’Donnell. O’Toole — who will begin her two-year term starting the 20142015 academic year — received 1510 votes, while her opponent, Ann BybeeFinley grad, received 1099 votes. O’Toole, a first-year law student, is the first professional student to be elected to the position, according to Darrick Nighthawk Evensen grad, outgoing gradSee TRUSTEE page 4

Suspect in Monday Shooting Arrested An Ithaca man has been arrested as the suspect of a shooting that took place in downtown Ithaca Monday evening. Clifton McBean, 22, turned himself in to the Ithaca Police De partment Thursday afternoon at approximately 2:15 p.m, according to police. He was charged with criminal possession of a

weapon in the second degree, criminal possession of a weapon in the third degree and reckless endangerment in the first degree. The shooting oc curred near the intersection of South Plain Street and Cleveland Avenue at approximately 7:39 p.m. Monday, where McBean reportedly fired gunshots and

injured a man who sustained two gunshots. The victim was transported by civilian vehicle to a nearby hospital. According to police, the shooter and the victim knew each other. McBean is currently in IPD custody and awaiting arraignment in Ithaca City Court. — Compiled by Annie Bui

2 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, May 2, 2014

Today

DAYBOOK

Friday, May 2, 2014

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Daybook Today Biophysics Colloquium Noon, 701 Clark Hall Engineering Graduate Student Assembly Field Day 4 - 7 p.m., Engineering Quad Baraka Kwa Wimbo 2014 Annual Spring Concert 7 - 8:30 p.m., Multipurpose Room, Appel Commons Cornell Astronomical Society Observing and Open House 7:30 - 10:30 p.m., Telescope Dome, Fuertes Observatory Yoga Remix 7:30 - 10:30 p.m., One World Room, Anabel Taylor Hall

Tomorrow Deciphering and Harnessing Nature’s Bioinorganic Playbook For Small Molecule Activation and Catalysis 9:30 a.m. - 3:30 p.m., 120 Physical Sciences Building C.U. Music: Gamelan Ensemble With Javanese Singers 3 - 5 p.m., Barnes Hall Auditorium Murder Mystery Night 6 - 9 p.m., 101 Robert Purcell Community Center Red Ideas Festival 7:30 - 10 p.m., Willard Straight Hall Memorial Room

Today on cornellsun.com LISTOGRAPHY: 15 Things I Learned From My Freshman Year at Cornell Ruth Weissmann ’17 reflects on an educational first year on campus.

News, “After 2012 Gorge Death, Ithaca Will Improve Cascadilla Gorge Path,” Wednesday Speaking about a project to improve the walkway along the north rim of Cascadilla Gorge “I think the sooner we can make the gorges more accessible, the better.” Alderperson Stephen Smith (D-4th Ward)

News, “Renee Alexander ’74 Reflects on Life Career in ‘Last Lecture,’” Thursday Speaking about the need to be resilient and develop coping mechanisms “It’s not what happens to you, but it’s how you respond that counts. Also remember, this too shall pass..” Renee Alexander ’74, associate dean and director of Intercultural Programs

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Opinion, “GUEST ROOM: Women for President: Fulfilling Our Founding,” Tuesday Speaking about why she wants the Presidential Search Committee to pick a woman to succeed President David Skorton "The committee asked us what attributes we are looking for in the next president of Cornell University. To that, I respond that I want a president who will not only ensure that this campus is equipped with the resources that will expand our learning and maintain a safe environment; I want a president who will continue to inspire us.” Jennifer Mandeblatt ’17

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News, “Davis Advocates for Abolition Of America’s Prison System.” Monday Speaking about her support of prison education reforms “As I tried to distance myself from the project of prison reform, I did not mean that reforms are not important. [I] recognize the need to call for efforts to make life more habitable for people who are held in cages today.” Prof. Emerita Angela Davis, history of consciousness, University of California at Santa Cruz

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THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, May 2, 2014 3

NEWS

Students Allege C.U.International Diversity Lacking

Slam dunk

By SOFIA HU Sun Staff Writer

Undergraduate international students are not as economically diverse as domestic students — partially because of a lack of financial aid available to them — students say. International students make up approximately 10 percent of the undergraduate population and 19.5 percent of all enrolled students, according to the International Students and Scholars Office. However, international students do not have the same access to financial aid as domestic students do, according to Enrico Bonatti ’14, international liaison at-large for the RULA SAEED / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Student Assembly and president of International Students Chris Lu ’14 is dunked for the Arab Student Association’s annual fundraising event “Slam Dunk for Egypt” yesterday on Ho Board. Plaza. Because Cornell is a land-grant institution, there are government restrictions on how the endowment can be used to financially support undergraduate international students, nomically diverse than domestic students.” President David Skorton said at a February S.A. meeting according to Bonatti. Other international students shared similar stories about the University had seen a “slow” increase in financial aid As a result, not every international student who demon- how the lack of financial aid offered to international students available to international students — however the adminisstrates financial need is funded, according to Shivang Tayal limited their educational opportunities. tration was struggling to raise more — The Sun previously ’16 — incoming S.A. international liaison at-large. “My teachers in China discourage us to apply for finan- reported. “Cornell’s policy does not allow international transfer stu- cial aid [because our applications would be turned down Currently the University offers the Tata Scholarship — a dents and upperclassmen non-financial aid international stuanyway],” Yixuan Zhang ’17 said. “[As a scholarship awarded to approximately 20 Indian students dents to apply for aid,” Tayal said. result,] few of us applied for financial aid. every year — through a $25 million endowment established “[According] to Cornell’s policy, while parents are aware of this and are ready by trustee Ratan Tata ’59, BArch ’62, according to Bonatti. Our “A lot of qualified admitted international students must Trustee Martin Tang ’70, a Hong Kong businessman, to pay.” students who want to demonstrate financial need to be eligible The students whose families cannot raised over four million dollars for international student for financial aid, not all international stucome here just can’t.” afford to pay often have to find sponsor- financial aid in 2013, The Sun previously reported. Tang has dents who demonstrate need will be fundship to fund them, Dennis Chua ’14 said. helped increased financial aid available for international stuDennis Chua ’14 ed. While 50 percent of 2012-13 full time “A lot of qualified students who want dents by 19 percent since 2008. undergraduates received need-based finanThese efforts — while “slow” — are headed in the right to come here just can’t,” Chua said. “It’s cial aid from Cornell, the figure for internationals remains not just the tuition fees. It’s the plane tickets, the housing, direction, Wijaya said. much lower.” “It is amazing to see how much diversity a relatively small the food. [Living overseas] is expensive.” The “very limited” amount of financial support that Often, students applying from abroad must form con- sum of international financial aid can create. I know fellow Cornell offers international students prevents qualified stu- tracts with their home country’s government or companies students who hail from countries such as Kenya, the dents from attending and restricts the economic diversity of in order to finance their education, according to Chua — Philippines and Nigeria who are financial aid recipients,” he enrolled international students, according to Alvin Wijaya who previously had a scholarship with the Singapore gov- said. “These people have amazing stories and have done ’14, an international student from Singapore. ernment. Several of these contracts and scholarships require amazing things here … that definitely shape the Cornell “Two of my high school friends who got accepted could students to return to their home country and spend several identity: ‘Any person any study.’” not attend Cornell, as their financial aid applications were years working for the company that sponsored them. rejected,” he said. “They went to the local university instead. The University, however, has made efforts to alleviate the Sofia Hu can be reached at Sadly, I do believe that international students are less eco- financial burdens of international students. shu@cornellsun.com.

New Art Studio to Open in Willard Straight Hall By NABIHA KESHWANI Sun Staff Writer

The second floor of Willard Straight Hall will house Slope Studio — a collaborative space where students can work on art projects and meet new people next semester, according to the studio’s founders. Sofia Hu ’17, president of Slope

Studio, said she pioneered the idea with assistance from vice presidents Janhawi Kelkar ’17 and Ariel Hsu ’17, as well as design head Yodai Yasunaga ’17. According to Yasunaga, while many places on campus require a membership fee or enrollment in a class, Slope Studio hopes to provide both materials and a free space for those who enjoy art — whether they are “talented or not.”

KELLY YANG / SUN NEWS PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR

Pop that | Janahawi Kelkar ’17 and Jessie Webber ’17 pop paint filled balloons to promote the opening of Slope Studio next semester.

“We hope to design an open and versatile space that fosters social interaction and artistic creation,” Yasunaga said. According to Hu — who is also a staff writer for The Sun — the doors to the studio will “always be open” to undergraguate, graduate and professional students, faculty, employees, alumni and residents of Tompkins County. “Slope Studio can be a place to relax or socialize, to work and collaborate with others creatively or to simply work on your own artwork,” Hsu said. The studio hosted their first event “Pop That Balloon” on April 18 where students helped create Slope Studio’s first work of art by throwing darts at paintfilled balloons, according to Hu. “It was incredibly exciting to see so many students enjoy themselves while creating this masterpiece,” Hu said. One of the major challenges of establishing this studio was revamping the space in the Straight, according to Yasunaga. “Since the room has not been used for a while, the conditions were not ideal,” he said. “We hope to implement cost-effective methods to design the space.” According to Kelkar, Slope Studio hopes to grow and create partnerships with organizations such as Cornell Minds Matter to host events on campus. “I think I can safely say that we hope Slope Studio will remain open after we graduate,” Hsu said. Nabiha Keshwani can be reached at nkeshwani@cornellsun.com.

Burning Question What does your slope day shirt say? “Put me on the listserv.” — Not on the Listserv ’17 “#Hondal.” — No One Gets Me ’16 “The Clap.” — The Clap ’14 “Turnip for what?!” — Sun Distinguished Vegetable ’16 “Please only rain on Ludacris.” — Matt and Kim Fan ’15 “Insert Ludacris pun here.” — Generic ’16 “This is ludicrous.” — Grammatically Correct ’14 “I’m here to see the opener.” — What Was He Called Again ’17 — Compiled by Sofia Hu

4 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, May 2, 2014

NEWS

Protesters Demand Accountability From University MAY DAY

Continued from page 1

our struggles are interlinked in that fight.” The rally began at noon at Ho Plaza, where Rudy Gerson ’14 delivered a mock eulogy for the system of shared governance on campus. A coffin symbolizing the “deceased” system was filled with slips of paper on which students wrote “grievances that they wanted to lay to rest.” According to Gerson, the student-led government on campus has done little besides facilitate the interests of the University administration — and so does not serve as a proper voice for students on campus. “[Shared governance] took several forms before it became the body we lay to rest today, and we must reflect on the bright moments of its life,” Gerson said. “Students, faculty and staff have poured their good-intentioned energy into this campus, and for that, we are grateful. [But] don’t think these last few weeks have fairly represented the soul of shared governance.” In his “eulogy,” Gerson said he believes the Student Assembly has not properly demanded accountability from University administration on several issues, including tuition increases and incidents such as “Cinco de Octubre,” where Cornell Athletics planned what students say was a culturally insensitive marketing campaign, The Sun previously reported. “By the time of its death, shared governance was a shriveled and brittle thing,” he said. “The autopsy report is in: the cause of death is a series of complications, chief among them: chronic abuse by the administration, willful castration by its members and complacent neglect by the student body.” The group of students marched from Ho Plaza to

Campus Road to East Avenue, chanting phrases including After the protests, the students also dropped off a model “Show me what democracy looks like. This is what democ- coffin — said to symbolize the “death of shared governance” racy looks like,” and “Hey Skorton, step off it, put people — at President David Skorton’s office. over profit.” Skorton — in a statement regarding the event — said Once the group stopped at the intersection of East that while he viewed the gathering as an important example Avenue and Tower Road, they formed a blockade of pro- of “expression and dialogue” and “voice in the affairs of the testers which prevented traffic from University,” he said he believed that passing. current system of shared gover“By the time of its death, the “We want our University to tell nance on campus is “irreplaceable.” companies that they can’t hide behind “It can be passionate and it can be shared governance was a the facade of their brands to escape challenging, but student expression shriveled and brittle thing. and a healthy interaction with this responsibility,” one student said. “We leadership are extraordiwant our University to cut JanSport, The autopsy report is in.” university’s and we want them to cut it now.” narily important,” Skorton said. “I can tell you, without any doubt in my Keanu Stryker ’16 said to the Rudy Gerson ’14 mind, that Student Assembly has an crowd that he believes Cornell has the irreplaceable role in this interaction as power to enact social change through do the other assemblies and the faculty senate, and I can say its corporate connections. “Cornell — as a wealthy, prestigious institution and as a with equal commitment that I look forward to engaging large employer with highly-valued contracts with large cor- with all students on these issues in the weeks and months porations — has the power to influence the rights and lives ahead.” Many demonstrators, including Sarah Paez ’17, said she of workers, both at home and abroad,” he said. After several minutes of demonstration — and with does not share this view on the role of the assemblies. “As we remember our shared governance system, we TCAT buses beginning to get backed up by the event — Susan Murphy ’73 Ph.D. ’94, vice president of Student and honor where it came from,” Paez said. “Students didn’t ask Academic Services, stepped into the center of the “block the administration for a shared governance system — they just created it themselves. The assembly system’s legitimacy party” and spoke to organizers. Ultimately, four buses were allowed to pass — cheered on never came from the administration, nor from those who by the students as they did so — and other traffic was rerout- would defend it. It came from the direct action of the stued to take other streets than East Avenue. The University dents and their allies.” sent out a release at 1:30 p.m. to notify the closure of the intersection, which was reopened at approximately 1:55 Noah Rankin can be reached at nrankin@cornellsun.com. p.m.

O’Toole to Provide Trustees With ‘Crucial Student Input’ TRUSTEE

Continued from page 1

graduate and professional student trustee. “Annie has a unique perspective that no previous Graduate and Professional Student Trustee has ever had,” Evensen said. “Students in the professional schools at Cornell have often felt isolated from the larger Cornell community. The integration that Annie will be able to achieve has been needed for some time.” O’Toole said her new role as Student Trustee will be particularly important in light of President David Skorton’s announcement of his departure from the University in 2015. “I look forward to maintaining an open dialogue with students so that our needs and concerns are reflected in the policy decisions made by the [Board of Trustees], and this will be most critical during the process for selecting our next President,” she said. Evensen also said O’Toole will provide crucial student input in the process to select the University’s next president. “The trustees are the president’s collective boss,” he said. “This year, the biggest and most important task for all the trustees will be to select a new president to replace David Skorton. [Annie] is one of the 19 people on the recently appointed Presidential Search Committee.” O’Toole will serve alongside Undergraduate Student Trustee Ross Gitlin ’15 in her new role. “I aim to collaborate with Annie — as well as with the entire student body, administrators and trustees — to help set our University on the right course for the years ahead,” Gitlin said. “I know that she has a strong grasp of issues involving student life and an

understanding of trends in higher education that our University will address in the years to come.” Evensen added that he believes graduate students tend to campaign less than undergraduates do. “While the Undergraduate Student Trustee elections are almost invariably contested, the Graduate and Professional Student Trustee elections draw fewer candidates and tend to be less high strung or contentious,” he said. “The type of people who run for this position ... tend to be a fair bit more laid back than some of the people who run for the position as undergrads.” Evensen said he commended both O’Toole and Bybee-Finley for what he described as honest campaigns. “I think [both candidates] ran very forthright campaigns this year, but even if someone had slipped up and made a mistake, I think most graduate and professional students would be willing to recognize a simple accidental violation of a minor rule and let it slide,” he said. O’Toole said she plans on maintaining accountability throughout her term. “I plan to be responsive by email, hold regular office hours, attend student-led organization meetings and meet with campus leaders,” she said. “I am looking forward to working ... to build on Cornell's successes over the next two years.” She added that she feels both “excited and grateful” to serve as the Cornell’s next Student Trustee. “To me, a Student Trustee's top priority is to listen and engage with the student body and bring student concerns to the Board of Trustees,” O’Toole said. Anushka Mehrotra can be reached at amehrotra@cornellsun.com.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, May 2, 2014 5

NEWS

President Skorton Allotted 30 Students at New Jersey Days to Respond to Resolution High School Arrested for SKORTON

Continued from page 1

said he is thinking about the issue “very carefully.” “I take the 30 days for big issues because I want to think over it carefully,” he said. He said during the discussions over Cornell’s contributions to TCAT, he recieved two types of feedback: The formal input from the U.A. and “a coalition of angry students who came to [his] office.” While he described the meeting as being “confrontational,” he said that he thinks it is important that students have access to him. “I say this and I mean it, as corny as it sounds: I view myself as a servant of the campus,” Skorton said. In response to some students’ skepticism over the University’s budget, Skorton said the University’s budget is barely balanced and that he is having “a hard time” finding half a million dollars that recurs each year in Cornell’s budget. “People can be cynical, skeptical, they can think its absurd. They can think I’m full of it. That doesn’t

change the fact that the budget is barely balanced,” he said. He said he has a “variety of levers,” which he can use to either increase the University’s revenue or reallocate its expenses. In terms of revenue, he said the University has undergraduate tuition, grants and contracts and funding from the state of New York. In regards to undergraduate tuition — which will increase by $1,920 for the 2014-15 academic year, the University announced in March — Skorton said he thinks tuition is going up faster than he wish it was going up. Skorton said the “levers” on the expense side are “even more limited” and include employee’s salaries, the University’s workforce and financial aid. He said, however, that he does not want to make cuts to financial aid, outlining its preservation as one of his “top priorities.” Tyler Alicea can be reached at managing-editor@cornellsun.com.

55 Colleges to Face Federal Investigation WASHINGTON (AP) — From huge state universities to small colleges and the Ivy League, 55 schools across America are facing federal investigation for the way they handle sexual abuse allegations by their students. For the first time, the Education Department revealed its list of colleges under investigation on Thursday — though no details of the complaints — as the Obama administration sought to bring more openness to the issue of sexual violence on and around the nation's campuses. The schools range from public universities, including Ohio State, the University of California, Berkeley and Arizona State, to private schools including Knox College in Illinois, Swarthmore College in Pennsylvania and Catholic University of America in the District of Columbia. Ivy League schools including Harvard, Princeton and Dartmouth are also on the list. The government emphasized the list was about investigations of complaints, not judgments. Education Secretary Arne Duncan said there was “absolutely zero presumption” of guilt. Few details of individual cases are known, but some are. One, at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, involves allegations of mishandling of a matter involving a football player. The investigation began after federal authorities received complaints related to the expulsion of Brendan Gibbons, a former placekicker. udent group examined the school’s student sexual misconduct policy and last month determined the university failed to explain a yearslong delay between the alleged incident and Gibbons’ expulsion in December. Spokesman Rick Fitzgerald said the university has been “fully cooperating.” Schools on the list, for the most part, were unwilling to talk about specific incidents but said they have been working with the federal department to be more responsive to student complaints. “We are hopeful at the end of this there will be a resolution that will strengthen our internal processes and result in a safer com-

munity,” said Dartmouth spokesman Justin Anderson. “There’s always something we can learn and ways to get better.” Some of the investigations go as far back as 2010. Three universities — Michigan State, Wittenberg in Ohio and Southern Methodist in Texas — face more than one. The Obama administration’s effort to bring more attention to the issue of sexual assaults is not

limited to colleges. Separately on Thursday, the Pentagon said that reports of assaults by members of the military have risen 50 percent since the beginning of a campaign to persuade more victims to come forward. Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel said he is ordering six initiatives to deal with sexual assaults, including efforts to get more male victims to speak up.

Senior Class Prank TEANECK, N.J. (AP) — Sixty-two students were arrested Thursday after police said they broke into their high school overnight for a senior class prank, urinating in hallways, greasing doorknobs with petroleum jelly and taping hot dogs to lockers. Police said officers responding to a burglar alarm at Teaneck High School shortly after 2 a.m. also found desks flipped over, chairs broken, graffiti on the walls, silly string on the floors and balloons throughout the building.

Even before they went inside, police said, officers could see many students through the building’s windows Police from more than a dozen neighboring towns plus county law enforcement officers were called in to help. They used police dogs in their room-by-room roundup of students, some of whom were hiding. “It is possible that a few got away, but the majority were caught,” Acting Police Chief Robert Carney said.

OPINION

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the berry patch

IN CASE OF RAIN: S L O P E D AY E D I T I O N

With this being our last Berry Patch before we end publication for the semester, we wanted to look into what everyone actually looks forward to at the end of the year: Slope Day. With the lineup of 3LAU, Matt and Kim and Ludacris, we were curious who else students wanted to see, with our personal favorites including Zac Brown Band, Luke Bryan and Jason Derulo. So we enlisted our best Berry Patch reporters, who completely disobeyed us and instead found out where Slope Day should be moved to in case it rains ... so there’s that. Barton Hall: The obvious choice — it can house the most people, we already have a lot of our big concerts there, etc. However, since it can only house approximately 5,000 people at a time, a high-up University official said off-the-record that students would have to attend Slope Day in shifts. So pick your favorite artist now because that may be the only one you see. 3LAU, anyone? Pixel Lounge: If Barton is taken, students say Pixel would also be an “interesting” backup rain location. Our only concern is that Pixel will also be very crowded. As one student said, “If you don’t want to have fun, and you want to get sweaty, go to Pixel.” But after Pixel announced — or, at least, put a paper sign on its door — that it now requires two forms of ID on any given night, rumor has it that specifically for Slope Day, in addition to the new wristbands, denizens will need five forms. Good luck, y’all. Duffield Hall: Despite being a wide open space perfect for any event, we’ve heard that Slope Day — rivaled only by the Big Red Bar Mitzvah — would not have a warm welcome in Duffield. With the new calendar shortening the study period, the overachievers of Cornell say they have to get a jumpstart on their studying on Slope Day and don’t want the revelry interrupting their studying. Chipotle: Who doesn’t like a good burrito? And after the day you’re going to have, you deserve it.

HOT IN HERE It’s so muggy outside, it feels like I’m swimming. — S.R. A PINNIE SAVED IS A PINNIE EARNED Ordering The Sun’s Slope Day pinnies was harder than my combined classwork for the entire semester. — H.A.V. NOT COOL Had to read about our Sports Editor’s killer internship while registering for community college classes for the summer. — K.T. WHAT SHE SAID. The Sports Editor needs to not. — V.H. WOE IS ME The improving weather gives you an illusion that things are settling down and that everything will work out in the end. But, in fact, NOTHING is okay! EVERYTHING is due next week! I may have to skip Slope Day... — D.O. REAL TALK: MAY DAY EDITION I’m not sure what this May Day will do to affect serious political change. What does this do other than roll some eyes? Better to bring out the farcicality of Skorton’s administration through serious critical

analysis and reporting — not blocking a bunch of intersections. — K.S.N. SUGAR HIGH I complained about Synapsis not putting sugar in my bubble tea more than any human should ever complain about bubble tea. But, like, I was really depending on that false energy to get me through the day. — R.E. HELP AN EDITOR OUT The only thing between me and my bed is finishing this page. Why can’t people KVETCH more? I know you all have things that are bothering you, and I know that I bother everyone enough that they should send them to me. What am I doing wrong? — C.F. ROUGH TIMES IN THE RAIN On Wednesday I bought an umbrella. Yesterday, I left it at home and had to walk in the random rainstorm from Riley-Robb Hall back to North Campus looking like a cat dropped in a bathtub. — T.A.

WHAT ’S THAT ABOUT? The line at Chipotle literally went around the entire restaurant. The burritos cannot be that good. — E.S. FEELING LEFT OUT I’m still not on The Sun’s listserv. How will I know when Sun-related things are happening? — S.H. CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT All I wanted to do was day party but there is nothing that rains on a parade like a MONSOON. — S.C. TALK DIRTY TO ME The fact that my landlord chose to show my apartment to next year’s tenants this week when you literally cannot open the door because it’s so messy is just unfortunate. — C.S. READY TO RUMBLE Why did my landlord just figure out that I have not paid for parking this entire semester? Couldn’t he have just cut me a break and let me slide for the next 10 days? — E.E.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, May 2, 2014 7

OPINION

Comment Snapchats and of the day Web

David Fischer | Fischy Business

Stress Relief

W

hile considering several ideas for this column, I was searching around the internet for engaging stories to inspire and color my final column of the academic year. After half-heartedly scrolling through the New York Times website — and considering whether to discuss the redesign and added features it has undergone to keep up with the changing digital landscape of how news is purveyed — I stumbled upon a video clip from comedian Conan O’Brien. The clip, set against a neutral blue background, features five minutes of Conan reviewing several “stress relief ” apps for iPhone. Of course, a simple review is not so simple in the context of late night television, and O’Brien spends the five minutes getting increasingly frustrated with the various stress-inducing “stress relief ” apps that he endeavors to review. The apps range in function from allowing O’Brien to throw virtual knives at a picture of his producer (a perpetual object of abuse on the show), listen to the voice of a Scottish man entreating him to be calm, receive a massage from his iPhone and break various virtual flourescent lightbulbs. Each app is less and less satisfying for O’Brien, and his sessions of relief are frequently interrupted by advertisements for “Farm Heroes” and faulty technology. The scene culminates with O’Brien angrily insisting on breaking a real lightbulb, which he accomplishes after several tries. O’Brien’s hope that there is an app that holds the key to relieving his daily stress applies to a much larger critique that our mobile devices are veritable swiss army knives of functionality. Smartphones are, of course, fantastic for quick communication, keeping track of a day’s events and constantly checking

Smartphones are, of course, fantastic for quick communication, keeping track of a day’s events and constantly checking Twitter feeds. Twitter feeds. But it gets a bit trickier when we rely on smartphones to remove stressors from our lives through the dulcet tones of a Scotsman laid across a calming, ethereal jingle. Giving this sort of power to our smartphones only enable additional dependency on technology to mediate and mollify our daily lives. An interesting tidbit in popular iPhone app news that surfaced yesterday was the news of Snapchat’s redesign. Snapchat, for those of you who have never received pictures of your friends touting digitally-drawn Harry-Potter-lightning-boltshaped scars, allows the sending of pictures that can be viewed for up to 10 seconds and then disappear into the recesses of an unknown computer server. The redesign that was announced yesterday essentially gives users of the app the ability to chat via text and video with their Snapchat friends. I’m not sure about you, but I just looked at my iPhone, and I have seven apps that I can count that are solely used for communication. I have the native iPhone apps: iMessage and Facetime, apps for group communication: GroupMe and Celly, an app to keep in touch with abroad friends without iPhones: WhatsApp, an app solely for Facebook friends: Facebook Message and, of course, Snapchat. This doesn’t even account for the fact that I have a separate app to make phone calls. It seems a little bit ridiculous that I would need seven different apps for text and video communication, but each one serves a very small portion of the population that another doesn’t. Snapchat’s expansion into the text and real-time video arenas, however, is not needed. I have six other apps for that. I don’t want to sound like a grumpy old man when discussing technology, but I fear that I have come across as one throughout this column. Smartphones are an incredible asset to organization and communication in our daily lives. However, when it becomes impossible to sit down and focus on something for an extended period of time without getting notifications from Celly, GroupMe and iMessage, that becomes an issue for daily productivity. There have been recent times when my phone has vibrated so frequently that I’ve felt legitimately anxious that I would be able to finish anything without being disrupted by technology. Instant connectivity is both a huge positive and a large positive for our modern world. Stress relieving apps, though? That’s just ridiculous. David Fischer is a junior in the College of Arts and Sciences. He can be reached at dfischer@cornellsun.com. Fischy Business appears alternate Fridays this semester.

“The Court got it right here. The policy debate about using race (as opposed to other factors such as socioeconomic status, personal background and experience, etc.) in college admissions is undoubtedly an important one. But it’s easy to forget that the U.S. Supreme Court is not a legislature and is not meant to decide political questions.” Bradley Bartlett Re: “Affirmative Action ‘Necessary’ for Colleges, Student Leaders Say,” News published April 30, 2014

Minsuk Han | Barely Legal

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The Antitrust Economics Of Free Software

ast February, when certain small but signifi- business. 3) advertisers, which can Facebook Inc. cant amount (usually five The problem becomes always choose to advertise announced that it to 10 percent) without even more complicated if only on Yahoo or Bing; would acquire WhatsApp losing customers to other a firm has more than two and finally 4) end users, Inc. for $19 billion, few products, like product Y. groups of customers who can always choose antitrust experts suspect- If such a hypothetical whose economic interde- not to use Google to ed that the proposed monopolist could prof- pendence is intricately “google.” acquisition would face a itably raise its price, prod- intertwined. Google’s If Google were to buy serious challenge from uct X constitutes a rele- Android business is a the Windows Phone 8 government authorities. vant market and we ana- good example. Google operating system from There seemed to be no lyze the anticompetitive developed Android, a Microsoft to create apparent competition effect of the proposed free, fully open-source Windroid, which would issues in the dynamic merger within that mar- mobile software platform be offered to mobile market for free mobile ket. If, hypothetically, the that any device manufac- phone manufacturers on messaging apps. one and only seltzer pro- turers can install on a the same terms under When services and ducer can profitably raise device and any software which it has offered goods are sold for free, its price by 10 percent developers can use to cre- Android, would Google be there is usually a compli- without losing customers ate apps. Google does not violating the U.S. antitrust mentary product from to others (like spring charge Samsung for pow- laws? Should it be? which the firm makes water producers), seltzer ering all the Galaxy S The antitrust analysis profits. Facebook apps water may constitute a rel- smartphones. Indeed, of this hypothetical acquiand services are all free for evant market by itself. If Google takes a cut from sition under current docmost of us, but they sell not, we might have to app sales on Google Play, trine would be extremely spaces on our Newsfeeds include spring water in Google’s version of App complicated not only to advertisers at a high the defined market. The Store, but not all Android because the underlying price. Because these firms market definition is often devices are compatible product would be sold for serve two distinct groups a critical issue because the with Google Play. For free but also because the of customers — end users narrower the relevant Google, the Android pro- relationship among differon one side and ent sides of the advertisers on the business is not other side — they As users get more accustomed to free services, straightforward. are often called Google’s advertisfirms in the innovation industries often employ ing business is sev“two-sided platforms.” eral steps removed very sophisticated business strategies. These two-sided from its business platforms are bewith mobile coming the major device manufacbusiness strategy in the market is, the more likely ject is more about making turers and software develmobile app market. Be- that a proposed horizontal a defensive move in the opers. This is unlike more cause the price is zero on merger would be found still nascent mobile device common two-sided platone side of the platform, anticompetitive in viola- ecosystem — Google is forms such as free newspahowever, two-sided plat- tion of the Clayton Act. afraid that users are pers where the newspaforms present a challenge However, if the base accessing more and more per’s power over the adverto antitrust analysis, which price of a product is zero, information directly from tising market is directly has traditionally assumed we cannot define the rele- a content provider with- related to its readership. that goods are sold at a vant market using the out using search engines. As users get more and price higher than zero. Hypothetical Monopolist Android will help Google more accustomed to free For example, the Test because we cannot find ways to keep mobile services, firms in the Section 7 of the Clayton increase the price of zero web traffic under control innovation industries Act prohibits mergers and by a certain amount. For so that it can maintain its often employ very sophisacquisitions that may sub- this reason, scholars have dominance in the adver- ticated business strategies, stantially lessen competi- suggested that when two- tising market. including multi-sided tion or tend to create a sided platforms are Therefore, with its platforms. Unless we are monopoly. When evalu- involved, the relevant Android business, Google equipped to properly anaating the possible anti- market should consist of is serving several distinct lyze the antitrust implicacompetitive effects of a firms operating on both groups of customers, cre- tions of such business proposed transaction, we sides of the platform, and ating a four-sided plat- behavior by fully underuse the Hypothetical the market power analysis form: 1) mobile device standing those strategies, Monopolist Test to define should take into account manufacturers like we might be letting firms “the relevant market.” the economic interdepen- Samsung, which can evade antitrust scrutiny The Test supposes a sce- dence of the two sides. always choose to install simply by selling products nario in which there is no Therefore, if we were to another operating system for free but still profiting competition for a given analyze the social net- such as Windows Phone somewhere else. product— suppose all working services market, or its own Tizen operating firms selling product X not only do we have to system on its Galaxy merge into one firm. We consider how much web devices; 2) software devel- Minsuk Han is a third-year at Cornell Law then ask if that “hypothet- traffic Facebook, My- opers like Rovio, which student School. He can be reached at ical monopolist” could Space and Twitter draw, can always make their mh945@cornell.edu. Barely profitably increase the but also look into the new Angry Birds game Legal appears alternating price of product X by a advertising side of their available only on iPhones; Fridays this semester.

A&E

8 | The Corne¬ Daily Sun | Friday, May 2, 2014

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ‘WHO I S D OM H EMINGWAY ?’ JUDE LAW BREAKS TYPE, BUT DOESN’T BREAK THROUGH

NATALIA FALLAS Sun Staff Writer

As soon as you hear the name “Hemingway,” your mind’s eye immediately conjures up some mythic version of a bearded man’s man, one who uses his hands and smokes a cigar and downs a whiskey. Writer-director Richard Shepard obviously capitalizes on this figure as the basis of his eponymous character in his film, Dom Hemingway. After 12 years away in prison, Dom Hemingway (Jude Law), a safecracker, is released and ready to settle his debts. Law, better known for his more subdued roles with suave sensibilities breaks type this time around with the abrasive, Guy Ritchieesque Dom Hemingway. He bursts onto the screen giving a soliloquy of the utmost bravado by asking the question “Is my cock exquisite?” COURTESY OF FOX SEARCHLIGHT

He then elaborates on the “work of art” and owed him for his loyalty. Shepard could have cheetah-like appendage that he bestows upon painted Fontaine in a more menacing light as the world, as a fellow inmate fellates him. This Dom and his sidekick, Dickie — played brilscene could easily turn off most viewers but liantly by Richard E. Grant, whom you may then again, Hemingway is set up to be a crim- recognize as Jessa’s crack-fiend boyfriend in this inal that you love to hate. Even so, his charac- latest season of Girls — but instead we are given ter is one-note despite the complexities that a sad caricature of Tony Montana with his Shepard tries to introduce with the father- money, drugs, alcohol, guns and disinterested daughter reconciliation plot haphazardly gold-digger girlfriend. Unfortunately, Shepard thrown in. In fact, the use of Emilia Clarke enacts a tired cliche of random fortune when a (Game of Thrones) as his daughter, Evelyn, is a woman that Dom rescues says that he will now be rewarded with good luck. It would have been waste of talent and story. And Clarke is not the only waste of talent in fine to leave this as stupid, inebriated “wisdom,” the film. Demián Bichir, playing Mr. Fontaine, but the fact that he revisits this later on in the film in a chance encounter ruins is anoththe feel of the film. er disDom Hemingway But back to Dom and Dickie. pensTheir relationship grounds the a b l e Directed by Richard Shepard film — their repartee is impeccacharacStarring Jude Law, Richard E. ble. Dickie must play babysitter ter who Grant, Emilia Clarke and handler for Dom’s wild antics, especially in the presence of other crime lords like Fontaine and, later, Lester (Jumayn Hunter). Dickie’s understated, straight man presence is necessary to root the comedy of the film, with all its does little else than give crazy digressions. Anytime that Dom gets away Dom some sort of start- from him, he gets himself into a lot of trouble ing point for his journey until Dickie comes to the rescue to take back to settle all his debts. See, control and save his life. Shepard would have Dom only received the done better focusing on their bond, making this 12-year prison sentence a dark buddy comedy of sorts, rather than some for refusing to rat out his convoluted redemptive story for Dom, who boss. He returns to never actually experiences his Bildungsroman. Fontaine’s estate in order In the end, the film’s saving grace is the to collect the fortune sharp, quick-witted dialogue, especially in

regards to Dom’s constant diatribe against everything in order to assert his masculinity. The fact that whole conversations exists over the killing a young boy’s cat (named Bernard, of all things) that has scarred him for life is at once absolutely absurd as well as brilliantly fitting. I would also like to think that this quote by Ernest Hemingway inspired this plot point: “A cat has absolute emotional honesty. Human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not.” Richard Shepard is definitely a student of Guy Ritchie, invoking the typical macho bravado in the criminal underworld, but he falls short in Dom Hemingway. Sure, the dialogue is spot on, but the plot and character development fail to render a complete film. You will undoubtedly laugh and enjoy the film, but by the end you will be hard-pressed to tell someone what the film is about other than, “Jude Law gets out of jail and while trying to settle debts, gets himself into more trouble.” Then there’s something about his wife and daughter thrown in to make Dom human with an ounce of gravitas. And even though you are supposed to leave thinking that the pendulum of luck has finally swung his way, the ending feels bizarre and out of place, further confusing what the film is aiming to accomplish. Reconciling Dom the man and Dom the criminal has left Shepard with a movie and a half instead of a coherent, well-rounded, singular film without further insight into who his titular character is supposed to be. Natalia Fallas is a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences. She can be reached at nfallas@cornellsun.com.

Seth Rogen Goes to War With the Frat Next Door JESSE WEISSMAN Sun Staff Writer

The plot of the new comedy Neighbors is very simple, and in exchange creates an open playground for a “whatever goes” joke machine. Mac (Seth Rogen) and his wife Kelly (played by Rose Byrne, in a role here that is the polar opposite of her turn as a pure ice queen in Bridesmaids) move into a new house. However, to their horror, a heavily-partying fraternity moves in right next door. At first, the couple makes only somewhat lame attempts to seem as if they’re hip and cool, but once those fail, the film becomes an all-out war between the couple and the frat, with insane pranks devolving into outright violence. Zac Efron, in the recent trend of Disney stars shedding their innocent roots, plays the borderline-psychotic president of the fraternity who is bent on making Mac and Kelly’s lives living hells. Efron is truly wonderful here, showing real comedy chops to go along with his constantly shirtless body, which Rogen’s character jokes must have been “made by a gay guy in a laboratory.” One can only hope that Efron continues to hone his evident skill, instead of being content with starring in fluff like Charlie St. Cloud and New Year’s Eve. Dave Franco (the brother of James Franco and one of the main players in 2012’s superior 21 Jump Street) plays Efron’s somewhat smarter and more sensible best buddy. Franco is also great here, continuing his hilarious streak from the just mentioned 21 Jump Street. I’m not sure why Dave is the less famous

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Franco, but he shouldn’t be. Of course this is a comedy, so you want to know whether the jokes are consistent with the great premise. Let me buck the question a little bit and instead try to illustrate with an example. The opening sequence of the movie shows Mac (Seth Rogen) and his

Neighbors Directed by Nicholas Stoller Starring Seth Rogen, Zac Efron, Rose Byrne, Dave Franco

wife having sex on a chair. However, they keep feeling uncomfortable doing the deed, as their newborn daughter is in the same room, smiling at them as they do it. This joke encapsulates everything that is right and wrong with Neighbors. The joke is undeniably funny, but a lot of the film’s running time involves these type of gross-out gags. One involves a (clearly fake) penis so big that Michael Fassbender would be put to shame. Another involves a woman’s breast, without spoiling specifics, malfunctioning. You get the idea. At a certain point the shock value wears off. Do one thing too much, and the allure is gone.

COURTESY OF UNIVERSAL PICTURES

The previous paragraph makes it sound as if Neighbors is not a good film. Actually far from it. I would truly recommend it to anyone who wants to have an enjoyable hour and a half. I was laughing through most of the duration. Some of the laughs were even raucous. But unlike similar, but much more polished versions of the R-rated sex comedy films of the past decade (with The 40 Year Old Virgin being the undeniable masterpiece of this genre), there was rarely ever a joke where I felt that a couple of years down the line I’d think of it and just start laughing to myself, and then of course then feel compelled to look it up on YouTube. But of course, this is an unfairly high standard. The point of a comedy is to make you laugh, nothing more. And this movie pulls that off. The very fact that I’m criticizing Neighbors is a testament to the quality of the comedies

that have been churned out in the past 10 years or so. In fact, not only do the laughs come at a steady pace, but the film actually engages in some thematic exploration amidst the constant dick jokes. The third act examines the while perhaps earnest, ultimately shallow nature of the “brotherhood” mantra that fraternities tell themselves (specifically the degree to how seriously Efron’s character takes it), which the film argues is a way to avoid the fact that what happens or who you are at your college has nothing to do with the rest of your life. The film also is about how Mac and Kelly, despite trying to hang onto their cool by smoking pot and going to concerts, have at their heart turned into cranky, responsible adults, for better or worse. Neighbors is ultimately a worthy addition to the comedy canon. It doesn’t deliver anything groundbreaking, and as mentioned before it too often goes for the grossest and basest joke, but so what? Sometimes seeking laughter is more important than seeking praise. Jesse Weissman is a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences. He can be reached at jweissman@cornellsun.com.

A&E

Friday, May 2, 2014 | The Corne¬ Daily Sun | 9

FALLING FOR TOM HARDY: LOCKE, STOCK AND BARREL MARK DISTEFANO Sun Staff Writer

Tom Hardy first came into public periphery playing the sly forger Eames, a member of the dream espionage team led by Leo DiCaprio in Christopher Nolan’s Inception. He then broke into the spotlight with a slew of roles in Lawless, Warrior and as the unforgettably menacing Bane in The Dark Knight Rises. But it was his work as the titular character of Nicolas Winding Refn’s relatively unseen pre-Drive effort Bronson that personally convinced me of the actor’s uncanny ability. In that film he played the off-the-wall, ultra-violent British prisoner Charlie Bronson in a performance that was insane to the point of approaching operatic and spellbinding at every moment. As the hulking bad boy, Hardy created a menace that was both appalling and transfixing, one that left no doubt that he would be able to command the screen as Bane. When The Dark Knight Rises was released, Hardy was downright terrifying in it. With his face obscured by a metal grill, Hardy communicated volumes through his body language and voice, but the scariest part of the character emerged from his unyielding, uncompromising eyes. Now he’s the only actor onscreen in a one-man show of a film that likens itself to the recent Gravity with Sandra Bullock or All is Lost with Robert Redford. It is another character study of one individual, onscreen, holding the focus for the entirety of the run time. Unlike Redford, Hardy is allowed to speak, and he does so in a calm, philosophizing Welsh accent that is unlike anything we’ve ever seen the actor conjure up before. This is the facade of Ivan Locke, the solo player of Steven Knight’s Locke, a lean,

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intriguing thriller that, despite its simple and restrained setting of a BMW at night, sucks its audience in by the shirt collar, thanks in large part to how compelling Hardy is. It is a sparse, small film with a whirlwind of interest at the center, generated by its lead actor. If the structure of this film is strange, director Knight, who has worked as a screenwriter on such

Locke Directed by Steven Knight Starring Tom Hardy

achievements as Eastern Promises and Dirty Pretty Things, has employed even weirder tactics in its filming. The movie was shot over five nights and in real time, with Hardy staying in the BMW while the other actors playing characters who call him over the course of the film were cued in, live. According to the director, after five nights’ work they ended up with about 16 different versions of the story, all riding on Hardy’s different choices. If the individual-strandedin-an-unforeseen-landscape trope has become popular with some contemporary independent filmmakers, then think of

COURTESY OF A24

Locke as a combination of that genre with a trippy automobile movie like Drive. Though its style is entirely its own, Locke recalls the economy and the power of that film with its golden, streetlight-featuring cinematography and neon hues. The story, slender though it is, contains a real emotional wallop within it, and that is what makes the movie work. All the action is driven by the fact that Locke, a married man with children, has had an affair some months ago and is on his way to see the woman who is giving birth to his illegitimate child on this night. There’s a palpable, glowing urgency as he leaves his job at a construction site and makes his way down the highway from Birmingham to London. The whole plot revolves around Hardy’s calm voice — occasionally breaking into swears or monologues to his father, who also sired him as an illegitimate child — as he tries to explain his circumstances to his wife and to rectify his rapidly deteriorating career prospects. Over the course of an hour and a half,

Locke makes calls to his wife, boss, children and the mother of his child. Two threads emerge: One of his adultery and the other of a building he has designed, the foundation of which is to be poured the next day. Locke has been put off the pour but has no intention of letting his masterpiece go up without his supervision. He prods and pleads with his colleague to not take the boss’ calls and instead follow his instructions so that when the concrete goes into the foundation, Locke will know that the welfare of the building is secure. He juggles this task as his son calls to tell him about a football match and his shocked wife berates him for his behavior. All the while, Locke hopes to be able to drive back home in the morning once the baby is born. As he has already lost his job and reputation this night, the one thing he is hoping to hang on to is his family. This is the source of the film’s emotional interest and what enables it to hook its viewers for 86 minutes. Hardy’s voice, performance and eyes are a window into the soul of a troubled individual trying to cling to the best elements in his life, when a sudden bad decision has put them all in jeopardy. The film succeeds as a cinematic experiment one might liken more to a theatrical piece and as a compelling story, thanks to Knight’s ingenious structure and the strength of its lead performance. Mark DiStefano is a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences. He can be reached at mdistefano@cornellsun.com.

It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Men

or obvious reasons, TV shows are like addictions. The re-entry terms. Is he learning to accept limimore you watch, the more it frees you from the urge to tations after violating Megan’s demand for watch. Soon after a freeing binge, you need to watch honesty? Is this the long-awaited reconciliamore. When you miss your weekly update, you’re empty and tion between Dick and Don? I wouldn’t get too excited. The paradoxes distraught. This is because they are inconstant, keeping you hanging on. When one character is up, the others down, a tri- of change are the show’s most longstanding umph is quickly followed by a loss. The writers aim to create a themes. In a recent Paris Review “Art of seesaw of suspense, never teetering too far into disappointment Writing” interview, Matthew Weiner or elation. If the show gave you the eternal satisfaction you remembered that he was inspired to write the crave, it’d be static, the story terminated. The show would have show by certain figures who’ve seized America’s (apparent) potential for reinvenno reason. Nobody knows the perils of craving better than Mad Men’s tion. Clearly, however, Weiner is suspicious Don Draper, TV’s most memorable alcoholic and a philoso- of the American lifestyle’s narrative of change pher of satisfaction — “What is happiness? It’s a moment and reinvention. Did Don Draper free himbefore you need more happiness.” Don’s in advertising. In his self from Dick Whitman? Did Jay Gatsby day, this is a profession run by men who think that increased free Jay Gatz? There’s a reason the episode begins with Don power means increased freewatching 1960’s dom, making money by Model Shop, a movie manipulating consumers into about a guy who divorces his wife and thinking that more possesmeets a new woman (who happens to sions means more freedom. be a French Los Angeles resident, like Don’s good at his game Megan) only to be plagued by the same because he knows its tropes. A Politicizing problems he had with his wife. unit of satisfaction is a unit of Art Although Don’s extravagant lifestyle dissatisfaction. A unit of freeseems fun — and maybe expresses a dom is a unit of enslavement. Think back to episode “Seven Twenty Three” in the third sea- subconscious fantasy of sociopathic stride or nostalgia for a preson. Don only allows himself to sign an inhibiting contract politically correct world — he really has as many limitations as with Sterling Cooper after going on a drinking binge and tak- he did being Dick. The same rules that dictate whether a product advertised by SCDP won’t bring joy or freedom apply to ing barbiturates with beatnik hitchhikers. In Monday night’s episode, “Field Trip,” Don continues to why a new lifestyle won’t bring change. These rules are butconfront trade-offs, this time less successfully. The ending of tressed by the each-freedom-brings-a-chain equilibrium. The last season seemed to promise more honesty from Don — more show is about unlived promises. America sells an unlived Dick Whitman, less Don — but he hasn’t quite negotiated the promise, the promise of reinvention. Is Weiner equally cynical about Mad Men’s invisible charactrade-offs between honesty and lying for self-advancement. Megan ends her marriage with Don after she hears that, even ter, America’s historical narrative of change? I think so. Was our though he was on a leave of absence from Sterling Cooper nation’s second civil war, the sixties, a freeing time? Mad Men Draper Pryce, he chose to hang around New York unemployed doesn’t read like a Lives of the Noble Pre-Sixties Office Men, but instead of moving to Los Angeles with her. This inspires him to it’s still pretty relevant. There’s a reason why Obama (also a make his odyssey back to Roger and SCDP. He loses a mar- great American reinvention figure like Gatsby or Draper or Bob riage, regains employment. He does so even with humiliating Benson or Conrad Hilton) promoted the Equal Pay Act in the

Henry Staley

COURTESY OF AMC

most recent State of Union Addresses by saying some officeplaces still have environments that “look like an episode of Mad Men.” Because some do. At SCDP, Dawn still can’t sit in at the front reception desk because she’s black. Advancement for Sally is buying hippie Pocahontas boots and cigarettes: Two objects that promise freedom while maintaining the same demands as ordinary consumerism, really no liberation at all. So, although an abrupt and unresolved historical finale to Mad Men may make Weiner look like a man with a limited bag of tricks (remember The Sopranos?), it’s the only ending appropriate to Weiner’s message. Weiner will not finish with an America that is all that different from the one he started with, maybe some new fashions, less drinking and a dropped sexual prohibition here and there. Because Weiner knows that history doesn’t move like that. It’s the perpetual chasing of a promise — “What is a historical development? It’s the moment before you need another historical development.” Progress comes with new setbacks and new triumphs bring new losses. Just like a TV show. Henry Staley is a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences. He can be reached at hstaley@cornellsun.com. Politicizing Art appears alternate Fridays.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

10 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, May 2, 2014

Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Nichols Lewis

ACROSS 1 It comes from goats 7 Old hand 10 Margery of nursery rhyme 13 Reason to be at sea? 14 Leak slowly 15 Pub choice 16 Colorful freshwater fish 17 1994 Schwarzenegger film 19 Organized group of female monarchs? 21 Waterskiing challenges 24 Role for Ronny 25 Blood __ 26 Blood system letters 27 Pelion neighbor 29 Vulpine critter 30 Ingredient in a concrete American flag? 33 Overwhelming amount 35 Feel a strong desire (for) 36 Former German chancellor Adenauer 39 Fancy carp 40 Plastic leg bone? 43 Mooch 45 “Cows of Our Planet” cartoonist 47 Mesozoic, e.g. 48 Old folk song composer, often: Abbr. 50 Bread often served with ghee 51 Hat material 53 Line of hunky monarchs? 56 Catholic recitation phrase 57 Poker variety ... and what the four longest across answers do? 61 Chess components 62 Parker array 63 Restless feeling 64 Hill occupant 65 Anti-aging treatment target 66 Named

DOWN 1 Ran into 2 1992 U2 song 3 Popular song 4 Correspond 5 Mosque VIPs 6 Gravelly sound 7 Don’t give up 8 Practices one of the environmental three R’s 9 Barrel-conscious gp. 10 Jersey owner, maybe 11 Syria’s most populous city 12 Thomas Hardy setting 14 Squish 18 Nephew of Abraham 20 Dull repetition 21 Cola __ 22 Help in a heist 23 Ideal time to snap? 27 Bovary title: Abbr. 28 Starting from 31 HUN neighbor, to the IOC 32 Baleful 34 Capt.’s course

36 Knowledge 37 Mystique 38 Billiards backspin 40 Wearing a lot 41 Yoga class regimen 42 Hawaiian coffeegrowing region 43 Grand __ 44 Spotty 46 Lead singer of the Irish pop/rock group The Corrs

49 Where many vets served 51 Peach pit 52 “House of Payne” creator __ Perry 54 Snoozes 55 Turned (off) 58 Sire’s mate 59 Legal closing? 60 Club __

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE:

Sun Sudoku

Libe Rapids #58

Fill in the empty cells, one number in each, so that each column, row, and region contains the numbers 1-9 exactly once. Each number in the solution therefore occurs only once in each of the three “directions,” hence the “single numbers” implied by the puzzle’s name. (Rules from wikipedia.org/wiki /Sudoku)

The Lawn xwordeditor@aol.com

COMICS AND PUZZLES

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THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, May 2, 2014 11

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12 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, May 2, 2014

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, May 2, 2014 13

SPORTS

Mickelson Finishes One Shot Behind Cabrera

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) — Phil Mickelson was entertaining to the very end Thursday and finished one shot behind Angel Cabrera in the first round of the Wells Fargo Championship. Cabrera played in early, calmer conditions and thrived on the new Bermuda greens at Quail Hollow. He made seven birdies, including a 40-footer from just off the green, and turned in a 6-under 66 that stood as the lead the rest of the day. Mickelson caught him twice and couldn’t hold it. Coming off his first missed cut at the Masters in 17 years, Mickelson handled the strong, swirling wind in the afternoon for a 5-under 67, tied with Martin Flores. Mickelson hit only one fairway on the back nine. He bogeyed both the par 3s. He chipped poorly and atoned for that with long par putts.

And he wound up with the start he wanted at a tournament he badly wants to win. “It was important for me to get off to a good start today because I haven’t played as well as I would like to this year, and I haven’t been getting off to great starts,” Mickelson said. “So I’m always playing from behind. And it feels great to get off to a quick start where I don’t have to feel like I’m playing catch-up.” Webb Simpson, the former U.S. Open champion and a member at Quail Hollow, might have joined Cabrera except for the way he finished each nine. He took double bogey on No. 9 when he hit into the trees and three-putted, and made bogey on No. 18 with another wayward tee shot. Other than that, his card was filled with seven birdies for a 68.

BRENDAN BANNON / THE NEW YORK TIMES

Hot start | Phil Mickelson got off to a strong start in the first round of the Wells Fargo Championship, finishing one shot behind Angel Cabrera.

On Verge of Elimination, Nets Must Look to Stars going to go there with the mentality that we’re going to fight and we’re going to do whatever it takes to get this win. We’re very humble, but at the same time we’re very hungry. We need to leave it all on the court. We’ve got to win Friday. It’s not going to be easy but that’s what we’re looking for.” After losing to Chicago in a Game 7 on their home floor in the first round last year, the Nets traded for Pierce and “We’ve got a game tomorrow, so that’s Garnett, made a few more our thought process, that everybody moves in free can have their ‘A’ games tomorrow. ” agency, and ended up with a Jason Kidd roster that featured 36 AllStar appearsent the Nets to the brink of an ances and would cost more than even quicker elimination than last $180 million in salaries and taxes. Having big names is great, but year, which seemed unthinkable before the season with the All-Star having them play well on the same night has been a season-long roster they assembled. And coach Jason Kidd isn’t challenge for the Nets. It has to happen now, and Kidd believes it thinking about it now. “We’re just focused on tomor- can. “We always think the next row’s game,” he said Thursday. Lose it, and the Nets can forget game,” he said during a conferabout a shot at the NBA champi- ence call. “We’ve got a game ons. The Raptors would be the tomorrow, so that’s our thought process, that everybody can have ones moving on to face Miami. A Brooklyn victory would their ‘A’ games tomorrow.” But just in case his guys can’t force a Game 7 back in Toronto get it done, Kidd called on some on Sunday. “We have no doubt. We’re very help from the officials, noting confident,” Raptors guard Greivis that Joe Johnson had only Vasquez said. “We’re not going to attempted one free throw in underestimate them, but we’re Game 5. NEW YORK (AP) — Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett were expected to bring a championship mentality to Brooklyn, providing the skills, savvy and swagger the Nets needed to make a lengthy playoff run. It’s hard to do all that from the bench. That’s where they were for the entire fourth quarter of a Game 5 loss to the Toronto Raptors that

Stewart Cink and Jonathan Byrd also and nearly roll off the green. He holed that from 10 feet for birdie. From the were at 68. Rory McIlroy also had a few patches of pine straw left of the 11th fairway, he hit wild play — a tee shot down the side of a low bullet in good shape just short of the hill toward the water on No. 16, the green, only to catch his chip too heavy and leave himanother that hit a tree self 25 feet short. He and bounced so far left “It was important for made that one for par. that Boy Wonder me to get off to a And he caught Cabrera thought about playing a at 6 under for the first shot down a service road good start.” time with another shot behind the corporate Phil Mickelson from the pine straw to tents. Wiser heads pre4 feet. vailed — his caddie’s, in But then, Mickelson hit another chip this case — and he limited the damage to too hard and failed to save par from 15 bogey. He still made six birdies and was in the feet. He tied for the lead again with a large group at 69 that included U.S. solid pitch to 2 feet for birdie on the parOpen champion Justin Rose and Martin 5 15th. The final three holes were symbolic of Kaymer, who played his final four holes in 2-under par despite not making a the grind. He rammed a 30-foot birdie attempt birdie or a par. Kaymer went bogey-eaglesome 6 feet past the hole and made that eagle-bogey. “Two eagles in a row, pretty rare. I for par. He left a 45-foot birdie putt don’t think I’ve ever done that before,” about 5 feet short and missed that for a Kaymer said. “I missed a lot of short putts three-putt bogey on the 17th. And made today as well, so therefore, 3-under par is a remarkable recovery from a tough lie in a bunker on the 18th. OK.” Being left-handed, his feet were up the Cabrera’s round was not nearly that dramatic. He made a couple of long slope of a bunker and the ball was well putts, most of the birdie chances one below his feet. Mickelson hit 6-iron from would expect to make and hit it close 210 yards and caught it so perfectly that enough times to post his lowest score of it rolled up the hill and onto the collar of the year, and only his fourth round this the green just over 40 feet away. And then he blasted the putt 10 feet year in the 60s. “It was a very good first round, and we past the hole — and made that with a have a lot to go,” the Argentine said sigh of relief, a par and a good start going into a morning tee time Friday. through a translator. “I made a lot of really good putts Even though he struggled to hit fairways, this wouldn’t classify as a wild today, and it covered up some very poor round by Mickelson’s standards. But there chips — a number of poor chips 15, 20 feet from the hole that should be tap-ins,” was rarely a dull moment. From the trees on the par-5 10th, he Mickelson said. “Ended up making three escaped with a strong shot just short of out of the four, so it covered up a lot of the green, only to hit his chip too hard mistakes.”

The LGBT Resource Center

Seeking nominations for: 2014 Lavender Graduation Awards Ally Award Coalition Building Award Student Scholarship Award Activism Award Dedication to the Community Award Rainbow Award: Undergraduate Student Rainbow Award: Graduate/Professional Student University Department Award

Any member of the Cornell University community is eligible to receive an award. Nominations are accepted for yourself and others. To nominate and for information on specific awards, please find us on Facebook at Lavender Graduation 2014 OR contact shura.gat@cornell.edu for a nomination form by May 8th. Awards will be presented at Lavender Graduation.

Sunday, May 11th 2:00-4:00 PM Physical Sciences, Clark Atrium

14 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, May 2, 2014

SPORTS

Buczek Highlights Slowing Penn Down as Key M. LAX

Continued from page 16

MICHELLE FELDMAN / SUN SENIOR EDITOR

Valuing the ball | Junior attackman Matt Donovan said that the Red will need to be patient on offense against Penn, making sure to “work for the best shot.”

“It’s a great honor to win individual awards, but all of the credit goes to my teammates and coaches,” Buczek said. “Any success we have comes from the efforts of the entire team, so these honors are really indicative of the efforts every guy on the roster puts in on a daily basis.” The Red expects the Quakers to put forward a strong offensive effort, so the squad aims to control the ball and slow down its pace, according to Buczek. “We know that they’re going to make plays tomorrow night. … They play at a very fast pace, so we expect them to look for opportunities in the transition game,” he said. “Our goal is to slow them down a little and play more of a settled game, offensively and defensively.”

Donovan reiterated Penn’s strength in transition and noted the dangers of making hasty shots on goal. “They’re a dangerous team in transition, so if we take quick shots, then those could translate into saves and fast breaks the other way,” he said. To prevent Penn from translating turnovers into quick goals, Donovan said the Red needs to be patient and wait to capitalize on only the best scoring opportunities. “It will be important for us to value the ball and work for the best shot and not necessarily the first,” he added. If the Red comes out on top, the squad will advance to the finals on Sunday and go head-to-head with the winner of the Harvard-Yale game for the Championship title. Sydney Altschuler can be reached at saltschuler@cornellsun.com.

Puig Ties Career High With Four Hits in Win Over Twins MINNEAPOLIS (AP) — Yasiel Puig tied a career high with four hits and drove in two runs and Dan Haren struck out seven in 6 2-3 innings to help the Los Angeles Dodgers to a 9-4 victory over the Minnesota Twins in Game 1 of a day-night doubleheader on Thursday. Haren (4-0) gave up four runs — three earned — and six hits with three walks and Juan Uribe also tied a career-high with four hits and two RBIs for the

Dodgers. Chris Perez pitched 1 23 innings for his first save. Mike Pelfrey (0-3) gave up five runs and seven hits and walked three in four innings for the Twins. Brian Dozier had two hits and two RBIs for Minnesota. The Dodgers looked uncomfortable in the 40-degree weather in the first inning, when throwing errors by Carl Crawford in left field and catcher Miguel Olivo on the same play allowed Trevor Plouffe to score from first base on

a bloop single by Jason Kubel to give the Twins a 2-0 lead. But Pelfrey, who has not won a game at Target Field since April 16, 2013, gave the lead right back when his walk to Olivo loaded the bases with no outs in the second inning. Puig’s two-run double made it 3-2 and the Dodgers scored two more on a double from Matt Kemp and a single from Uribe in the third to take control. Puig also had singles in the first, fourth and sixth innings and

walked in the eighth, the third time he’s had four hits in a game. He is batting .400 (16 for 40) with three doubles and 12 RBIs in his past 10 games to raise his average to .308 for the season. The Twins seemed poised for a big inning in the fifth when Dozier’s single drove in two runs and a walk to Joe Mauer gave them runners on first and second with nobody out. Dodgers manager Don Mattingly then challenged a close

play at second base, when Hanley Ramirez stabbed a line drive from Plouffe and, in one motion, flipped the ball from his glove to second baseman Dee Gordon to try and double up Dozier. Umpires ruled Dozier safe on the play, but after a two-minute replay, officials overturned the call and ruled Dozier out. Jason Kubel grounded out in the next at-bat to end the inning and Haren escaped with a 5-4 lead.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Friday, May 2, 2014 15

SPORTS

WOMEN’S LACROSSE

Red Looks to Upset Top-Seeded Tigers in First Round By SCOTT CHIUSANO

The loss to Penn also marked the last games on Schoellkopf field for the Red’s seniors. “I love playing at home in our stadium. I definitely tried After finishing off the regular season last weekend with a not to think about the game being our last one at home; tough two-goal loss to Penn, the women’s lacrosse team is set time really flies,” Rowe said. “I was extremely disappointed for the big stage when it takes on Princeton in the semifinals in the defeat, but I am also looking forward to [the] postof the Ivy League Tournament tonight. The women will season, and so thankful we have the opportunity to keep travel to Princeton’s home turf to decide which playing.” team will advance to the finals on Sunday. The Tigers are led by attacker Erin McMunn, Cornell The Red comes into the matchup without a who has 30 goals and 11 assists on the season. tournament victory since 2006, and will need an Though McMunn’s numbers put her at only upset against the No.1 seeded squad in the foureighth in the conference, Princeton features a balteam pool. According to senior attack Chelsea anced attack, with eight players that have scored Rowe, the team’s low seed is serving as a motivator more than 15 goals on the season. vs. heading into the matchup. Cornell will answer with a strong attack of its “I honestly do not think it matters what seed own, highlighted by the Ivy League’s attacker of we are in the tournament, as long as we are in,” the year in Lindsay Toppe, who is second in the she said. “We just have to come ready to play right conference in goals scored and points recorded. from that beginning whistle.” Sophomore attacker Emily Tripodi leads the team Princeton Princeton comes into the tournament with a in assists with 23 and freshman attacker Catherine 10-5 overall record and only one loss in conferEllis and senior attacker Rachel Moody have both Today, 7 p.m. ence play. That defeat came at the hands of Brown recorded more than 20 goals this season. Princeton, N.J. in the first Ivy League contest. The Tigers fell in With an overall record of 7-8 on the season, an overtime, 14-13, to a Bears team that fell short of at-large bid to the NCAA tournament later in the making the tournament. Princeton has not lost a month will be hard to come by for the Red, but league game since, though. an Ivy championship would guarantee the squad a spot. In last weekend’s loss to Penn, the Red struggled early in Should Cornell defeat Princeton on Friday, it will take on the first half. the winner of Harvard and Penn on Sunday. “I felt that we didn’t have a strong first half at either end “It’s do or die time for the Big Red as we need to win the of the field and found ourselves in a four-goal deficit at half- Ivy in order to compete in the 2014 NCAA Tournament,” time,” said head coach Jenny Graap. Graap said. The Red will need to remedy that against Princeton, a team that leads the conference in goals and points per game, Scott Chiusano can be reached at sports-editor@cornellsun.com. and will be looking to get on the board early and often.

Sun Sports Editor

LEENA KULKARNI / SUN CONTRIBUTOR

Happy to be here | Senior attacker Chelsea Rowe said that the Red is not hung up on its seeding, and will come into the match “ready to play.”

Subtlety Escapes Pineda Once Again in Pinetar Gate Part Two AROUND THE GORGE Continued from page 16

formed into the narrator and co-lead of Disney’s 2013 release Johnny Depp Wears A Lot Of Makeup Again: The Lone Ranger (But Really The Incredibly Long and Poorly Directed Story of Tonto) L.A.: My president is black, and I’m an African American Republican. The world’s changing, and Sterling is on the wrong side of history.

E.B.: Last week, we waxed poetic about Yankees pitcher Michael Pineda getting called out by broadcasters (but not the umpires) for using pine tar and, in a moment of solidarity rarely seen in professional sports, the entire MLB joining together to ignore the offense. The incident would have turned into a mere footnote in this delightfully mediocre Yanks season … u n t i l

E.B.: I was so surprised by his sheer stupidity, I don’t even have a pun stored away from last time. Right now, Pineda is making Ryan Lochte look like Stephen Hawking. L.A.: There are only three explanations for Pineda’s actions. Option 1: he’s the dumbest pitcher in the league. Option 2: Pineda’s “cup of

E.B.: Speaking of which, somewhere the leaders of the Republican party and the heads of Fox News are silently but joyously celebrating that a different belligerent racist has taken attention away from their part in the BARTON SILVERMAN / Cliven Bundy fiasco. THE NEW YORK TIMES Redskins owner Dan Snyder is also likely happy for the moment, until this renewed conversation about racism turns its attention back towards his team’s name.

E.B.: If Silver can muster enough support among other NBA owners to vote to force Sterling to sell the team — and it looks like there will be more than enough support — then there will be an absolute frenzy to buy this franchise. Update: Oprah is apparently on the list of people who want to buy, or at least invest, in the team. L.A.: Oprah OWNing the Clippers? The only thing she’s good at is hosting a TV talk show. She can barely run a semifunctional TV network. This Week In: Fool Me Once, Shame On Me; Fool Me Twice — Oh Wait

sub-par judgement, similar to Drew Barrymore in 50 First Dates, according to Emily Berman ’16.

L.A.: This is great because Pineda can’t deny his use of pine tar by calling it “sweat and dirt” without admitting to the world he never showers. I’m excited for this story to make its return because I can finally use the “pinetar-da” joke I locked away in my “maybe next time” vault.

E.B.: Oh, right. With Sterling taking up 90% of news space and Heisman Trophy winner Jameis Winston “cited for shoplifting crab legs” headlines (thanks ESPN for the news?) grabbing part of the remaining 10 percent, NBA and NHL playoffs have gotten a bit of a short shrift this week. It is — or was, in the case of the NHL — the first round, after all. Unless you’re a lucky fan with teams in the playoffs (I can’t believe I’m finally able to type the words ‘Go Wizards!’), is anyone else even paying attention?

This Week In: Oops, We Did It Again

Get a grip | Yankees pitcher Michael Pineda has been in the news a lot recently for using some Pineda decided, two weeks later, to return to the mound with pine tar in an even more obvious place, his neck, essentially forcing the league to hand him a 10-game suspension.

This Week In: Wait, What About the Playoffs?

L.A.: Nope. Wake me up before the finals.

L.A.: Also worth mentioning, the Clippers responded by doing nothing. Unrelated news: all the players somehow put their shirts on inside out before their loss to the Warriors. Wait, was this a form of protest... #anticlimactic

he’s got to find a brain.

care” is empty. He could absolutely care less about the repercussions for cheating so poorly. Option 3: he doesn’t understand the repercussions, which essentially reiterates Option 1. … But seriously, you can’t come out against the same team, and use the same illegal substance, and not expect anyone to say anything. Not in that short of a time span. E.B.: He’s Drew Barrymore in 50 First Dates, only more watchable. L.A.: Barely. He has the equipment in the toolbox to be a top-notch pitcher, but

E.B.: In terms of news that will only be relevant in two years, a top IOC official has labelled the Rio 2016 Olympic preparation as the “worst” he’s ever seen, a fact supported by photographs of the sites. Meanwhile, Putin has taken a break from dismantling any remaining Ukrainian freedom to announce that Sochi Games construction is forecasted to be completed “by 2015 at the latest.” L.A.: A total of four, maybe five people care about the Olympics before the summer starts, and they’re all 85. Also does anyone else get annoyed when all they play is that stupid NBC Olympic song for six months straight. Catch us next time whenever we have the energy to write another piece. Once again, email all concerns, comments, compliments and money orders to Scooter Chiusano at sports-editor@cornellsun.com. The writers can be reached at sports@cornellsun.com.

Sports

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

FRIDAY MAY 2, 2014

16

MEN’S LACROSSE

Laxers to Battle Penn in Tournament Semifinals By SYDNEY ALTSCHULER Sun Assistant Sports Editor

After claiming a share of its 28th Ivy League title with a win against Princeton last week, the Cornell men’s lacrosse team secured the No. 2 seed entering this weekend’s tournament. The Red will take on

Penn in the first semifinal on Friday at 5 p.m. at Harvard Stadium. A win against Penn is the golden ticket that will send the Red into the Ivy League men’s lacrosse championship for the third time overall, and first time since 2011. Cornell (11-3, 5-1 Ivy) has dominated the series with Penn (9-3, 4-2 Ivy), holding a

MICHELLE FELDMAN / SUN SENIOR EDITOR

Ivy laurels | Junior midfielder Connor Buczek was named the Ivy League’s Player of the Year, but credited his personal success this season to a collective team effort.

64-22-3 record overall. The Red has won win mentality,” he said. “Friday night the last eight meetings between these two lacrosse, can’t do much better than that.” The Red is also riding on positive programs, and most recently conquered the Ivy foe last month in a decisive 17-9 victo- momentum, coming off a win against the ry. Friday’s matchup will be the 90th meet- Tigers in a thrilling contest to take a share of the Ivy title. Cornell has had a ing in the series history, and the highly successful season, with Red looks to extend its recent Cornell seven players recently winning winning record over the Quakers All-Ivy honors. Junior midfielder to nine games straight. Connor Buczek and freshman Cornell’s 17-9 takedown of goalie Christian Knight swept Penn in March seemed to awakthe conference awards, earning en the Quakers, however, sparkvs. Ivy League player and Rookie of ing their six-game winning the Year titles, respectively. streak and late surge at earning Cornell now boasts 18 Ivy entry into the Ivy tournament. League Player of the Year awards Penn has managed not to lose a and six Rookie of the Year selecsingle game since then to post its Penn tions, including three in the last impressive 6-0 run, the longest five seasons. Senior Tom winning streak the squad has Today, 5 p.m. Freshour and juniors Matt held since 2006. In its most Cambridge, Mass. Donovan and Jordan Stevens recent contest, the Quakers joined Buczek on the first team, dominated St. John’s, 17-10, to while senior Dan Lintner and end its regular season at 9-3, the program’s best regular season finish since junior John Hogan were second-team selections. the 2006 squad went 10-3. Buczek credits his personal success story While the Red will take on a formidable opponent in Penn, the squad is up for the to the squad’s collective efforts under the challenge and determined to win, accord- leadership of interim Head Coach Matt Kerwick. ing to junior attackman Matt Donovan. “Penn is a great team. This is a big game See M. LAX page 14 for us and we’re going into it with a must

On Sterling, Pineda and More Of This Week’s Shenanigans W

elcome to the second edition of Around the Gorge: Sun Sports Banter with Emily and Lisa. Now that we’ve officially been renewed, several pressing questions await: Will we hit a sophomore slump? Will we pull a Kwame Brown and move past a disappointing start only to continuously flame out in pursuit of the Nirvana level of underachievement? Is LeBron balding or is his forehead simply migrating towards the back of his head? Does anyone even read this? Do we even write this?

racist recording leak out of a conversation he had with his half spanish, half black, 100% minority girlfriend. He has been banned for life — whatever that means — from the NBA. So I guess they’re taking away his TBS subscription? He was also fined 2.5 million dollars, which to him is like five cents.

LA: Just in case you skipped out on our first edition, I’m Lisa Awaitey. Professional nonprofessional and Nobel Prize winner in quick

E.B.: These penalties come at the hands of newbie NBA commissioner Adam Silver, making this Sterling-Silver showdown the equiva-

Sterling blames all black people for the 2008 recession, Pluto losing its planethood and his $1.9 billion dollar net worth.

Lisa Awaitey

Emily Berman Around the Gorge: Sun Sports Banter comebacks. E.B.: And I’m Emily Berman: globe-trotting actress, model, activist and also pathological liar. Additionally, the resident white girl of this column. Speaking of racial issues… This Week In: Rich Racist A**holes Who [Used To] Run Major Sports Teams L.A.: If you’ve been stuck in Uris cramming for your last set of prelims with SelfControl blocking you from the internet, then maybe you don’t know what’s currently happening in the NBA. CliffsNotes version: Donald Sterling, owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, had a more-than-

lent of Christmas for punny and universally hated geologists everywhere. The problem isn’t just that Sterling asked his girlfriend not to bring black people to his games, among other offensive comments — it’s that he has a long history of known racism that was treated more as an unfortunate side effect of his personality than as a legitimate problem. Note to the world: This is 2014. Segregation ended 50 years ago. Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier 67 years ago. Mindy Kaling has her own marginally successful TV show. Even one of the more stereotypically racist characters of the past 50 years, Tonto the Indian sidekick, has been transSee AROUND THE GORGE page 15

Toppe Named Ivy League’s Attacker of the Year On Wednesday, women’s lacrosse junior Lindsay Toppe was named the Ivy League’s Attacker of the Year. She was also a unanimous firstteam All-Ivy selection. Toppe leads the team in goals and points this season with 45 and 56 respectively, and is second in the conference in both of those categories as well. Still only a junior, Toppe is currently the only player on the Red’s roster with over 100 career points and 100 career goals. In her sophomore campaign, Toppe netted 47 goals, which is tied for second most in program history. She also holds Cornell’s all-time record for game-winners with nine, including three this season. One of those came in an important overtime win earlier in April against Brown. Toppe found the back of the net with 17 seconds left in the extra period, lifting the Red over the Bears and putting the squad in better position for the Ivy

tournament. Three other women’s lacrosse players received recognition from the league as well. Junior midfielder Sarah Hefner and junior defender Claire McManus were both named to the All-Ivy second team, while senior attack Rachel Moody received honorable mention. Hefner set a Cornell record in draw controls this season

with 66 and McManus was an anchor for the defense with 14 ground balls and 10 forced turnovers. Moody finished the regular season third on the team in goals with 22 and second in points with 34. The Red takes on Princeton in the semifinals of the Ivy League tournament today. — Compiled by Scott Chiusano

TINA CHOU / SUN FILE PHOTO

On the attack | Junior Lindsay Toppe was named the conference’s Attacker of the Year after a 45-goal regular season.