Page 1

New grips - I can’t use all old parts! .

I’ll run the rigid forks from my first race bike, good & light. My old front wheel XT hub on Araya RM-20 rim. Stem, bars and brakes from the box of spares in the shed. NEW GIANT SS FRAME WITH Crank to have 180mm AN OPTIONAL COOL DISC MOUNT- IT’S LIGHT, BLACK did the AND I LOVE THE DROP OUT so a sweet set of Stylos DESIGN! trick...old 32 toothchainring should have just enough life for a few more rides.

Rear wheel... I’ll space out my old XT disc wheel with a left over cog from my parts bin until I can get a proper singlespeed hub.

Post - grab the 27.2 post and saddle from my old ATX 780


Issue 2 of ONEMag, who’da thought it?

Certainly not us when we named our little ‘zine in the first place. Born from a desire to share with others the rollicking good time that was SSWC’03, ONEMag was probably going to be just that. We did think we were a bit clever bringing out a mag about a weekend of singlespeed fun, and associated singlespeedy stuff, and calling it “ONE” mag. You know... “One” gear, “One” event, “One” topic and “One” issue of ONEMag never to be seen again. Well surprise, surprise here we are again much bigger (well thicker anyway and we all know it’s the thickness that counts). Thanks to the support of a bunch of lovely people, we have put together 64 pages of singlespeed happenings. Shunter and Grunter gave up their valuable time to travel around the world just to see what they could see. Of course the whole was made a little less damaging on the bank account by the support of Phaty and Alex in Berlin. Trina Richie and Dr. John gave us great coverage of the Euros. Wendy-G volunteered her time after answering our internet chat room plea for help, masses of others donated their words and pictures. The theme for issue 2 sprung from the need to cross the globe to attend SSWC’04 in Berlin and so the “World Tour” issue was born. Now finally after months of late nights, plenty of “heads down, bum up” (plus a fair bit of time spent working on the mag) it is done. If all goes well we think there will be an Issue 3 but surely there can’t be much more singlespeed stuff out there to fill yet another mag? We were thinking about a singlespeeders recipe book? Should be ready for Christmas ’07 See ya, TODD & DAVE Lazy Editors - Dave Cooper and Todd Warnock Wannabe designer - Todd W. Shutter bugs - Dave C, Todd W, Trina Ritchie, Wendy, Darren (Grunter), Niel Dykes, Adam MacLeod, Andy White, some German pro guy (thanks Phaty) Chipps from ‘Outcast”. Word Smiths - Dave C, Todd W, Dr John, Darren, Wendy Gasson, Niel Dykes, Marcus Walker. Others - Thanks to Pete and the crew at Brunswick St., Mallachi and the gang at Spoke(n), James at OnOne, Marcus at Walkers Wheels, Darren and Michael at Giant, Bianca and Ben at Crumpler, Dan at Shifter Bikes, Chipps at Outcast and Spot Brand Products. These people helped cover our printing and production costs so remember these people when you head out to get stuff for your bike.


CONTENTS Shunter & Grunter Tour SSWC ‘04 Berlin Wendy talks to Jessica Euro’s - Scotland Singlespeeds at Mont 24hr Merckx Speaks Fixed Wheeling Fun Across the Himalayas Eno hub review Aussie Champs Preview Shaggy Exposed Giant Two2One review Joe Breeze opens up Matt from Chelmer Dave Ollie - One View 4

3 10 29 30 40 42 44 48 52 54 56 58 60 62 65

DISTRIBUTORS UK - Matt at Chelmer Cycles NZ - Benny at Cycle City AUSTRALIA - Us (Dave) USA - Todd (on holiday)

After having more fun in one weekend than should

be allowed at SSWC’03 in Castlemaine, Grunter and I decided that SSWC’04 would not happen without us being there. Quicker than you could say “Road trip with Mountain Bikes to somewhere warmer than where we are now and can ride a lot and drink a lot” we were on our way to Berlin. The planning and organizing phase of our preparations went surprisingly smoothly largely due to our minimalist approach. A phone call to one of Grunter’s ex’s at the Flight Centre (thanks Jennifer) and the debiting of $4,000 off my credit card secured us 2 tickets……it really is that easy. I left the organizing of flights and those bothersome details to Grunter so I could take care of the important things like, what to wear?? A quick trip to SAVERS in Footscray and $40 later we had all the gear we needed for an expedition such as this, floral Hawaiian print shirts, 3 pairs of smart/casual slacks, evening wear, ties and knee length socks. Next stop was to visit our very dear and close friends (more like family really) Bianca & Ben at CRUMPLER. Whilst initially skeptical of our motives as we arrived on a Friday afternoon asking if it was beer o-clock yet, Bianca immediately knew a good

Shunter and Grunter World Tour Looks


feels g


s good

every Good journey begins with a hangover Do we


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- Jetlag Shunter? “Ya - from theTullamarine Freeway!”


thing when she saw it and gave us some bags to help carry all our gear in style. Shortly before our departure Grunter threw an itinerary at me and we had our first and only “planning session” which went like this... Me; Oh... We are going to Berlin via Vietnam and spending a week there? Why Vietnam? Grunter; It’s on the way. Me; Oh…. And what’s in Vietnam? Grunter; Hanoi. Me; And what’s in Hanoi? Grunter; Dunno. And so it was decided, we would spend a week training and preparing for “the worlds” in the land of the .90cent, 500ml beer. After a few last minute hiccups like my passport had expired and Grunter running out of money before we had even made it to the departure lounge we finally got ourselves, our bikes and our assorted Crumpler bags on the plane. We arrived in Hanoi 12 hours later at 9.30pm local time. It was 31 degrees, about a million percent humidity and we were wearing ties and vests had 2 singlespeeds with us and no idea what to do. A US$20 mini bus ride later, yeah I know we got stung but it was the first and last time that we knew about, (except for that Thai massage….I still walk with a limp) we were in Hanoi looking for a hotel. Thanks to our streamlined planning approach we had to try a few places as we hadn’t booked ahead. Here we had the very good fortune to find the NGOC MOI 3-star hotel where our host, Vee, got us drunk and promptly signed us up on a 5-day North Vietnam sight seeing tour. This saw us on a bus at 8 o’clock the next morning heading north for a place we had never heard of….Ha-long bay. At first in our fuzzy headed state it seemed we had made a rash and hasty decision but as the bus slowly wound its way out of Hanoi the heavens opened up. A monsoonal down poor dumped a metre of water on the already chaotic morning traffic. Watching the locals wade, ride and push their way through knee deep water it occurred to us that our original plan of single-speeding around Hanoi would have been a complete wash out. At one stage our bus sat in the traffic for 20 minutes without moving. As I sat and watched the flood of humanity and water stream past I realized that I could not have handled riding amongst all that craziness. Give me a steep nasty piece of single track any time over what I could see out of the foggy bus window. 5 Days later we returned to Hanoi having discovered HALIDA beer as we floated around Ha-long bay for 2 days we had swum and kayaked and hiked around the amazing islands. We had explored the Mountains around Sapa and nearly killed ourselves on Russian “Minsk” rental motor bikes on the

Resistance training Hanoi style

Vietnamese subscriber and cyclo guy

One Mag...only 30,000 Dong per copy. Can I use for toilet paper?

Heritage listed Ha-Long Bay

Shunter and Grunter World Tour 7

Shunter and Grunter World Tour Vietnam e

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ave...w Yes D it too.

trial helm


Worst beer in Vietnam

Are we there yet!? treacherously muddy mountain roads. We had hiked for hours and hours sweating like pigs refusing lifts from the locals on the backs of their bikes much to their surprise. We became the undefeated pool champions on the only pool table in Sapa. We had missed a few nights sleep, eaten lots of strange food, met some wonderful people and met some complete idiots. There was only one thing we hadn’t done much of and that was ride our bikes… now we were Shunter fit in so well back in Hanoi it was time to do some pedaling. the locals were We figured the best way to get our legs turning asking him for was a bit of fixed gear road work so we hired a directions couple of “Cyclo’s” and convinced their owners to let us ride whilst they sat up front. These beasts Another satisfied weigh a ton...have short cranks and are fixed gear subscriber. with a long handbrake style lever that works the brake on one wheel. That however was not the challenging part, the traffic and complete lack of any recognizable road rules that was going to be the difficult part. Intersections take quite a bit of nerve and local knowledge, just crossing the road takes the skill and judgment of a tight rope walker. Grunter and I had prepared ourselves by sitting in the Skyview bar by Hoan Kiem lake and after looking down on the big intersection for


Shunter and Grunter World Tour


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ut faste

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hours on end, we felt we were ready. Our “passengers” weren’t so sure and as we approached our first big intersection they jumped out!!! Some people have no faith. Seeing as it was raining, a balmy 35 degrees and not wanting to over-train we thought it was time to call it a day and work on our recovery. We loosened our ties thanked our “drivers” and wandered off. We decided to get a foot massage (that was the best $10 we ever spent)...1 hour of pure indulgence and all the iced tea you could drink in air conditioned comfort. SSWC’04 look out!!! We were ready and in seriously good form...although my stomach was feeling a just a little odd...



s in Be

on Euro

milli okn’ a

...Oh well I’m sure it’s nothing serious. By the time we reached Paris we were a little travel weary...our stomachs had decided they had had enough Vietnamese food. Air Vietnam dicked us around so we ended up spending a day and a half extra in Hanoi which wouldn’t have been so bad except that 18hours of it was at the Airport. Our Paris stopover became a 6 hr at Midnight out at Air Vietnam graciously put us up at the IBIS hotel at Charles De Gaul airport with dinner included but the bar and restaurant was closed when we finally checked in. Finally on Thursday 20th of August we pulled up in front of the Generator Hostel in Berlin. We bounced outta the cab feeling like we had just won the race to be greeted by Phaty and Alex. It was great to finally be here and immediately we could feel the “Vibe” in the air, sweet looking bikes were rolling around and we couldn’t wait to get amongst it. The following pages will hopefully reflect a little bit of the fun and frivolity that was the SSWC’04, the Euros, and the rest of the Shunter & Grunter world tour.

t es fin se me na Vie t


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Pic - Chipps/Outcast

Madison handsling on the famous Strasse Des 17 Juni.



SHUNTER & GRUNTER’S RACE REPORT By Shunter, special comments by Grunter pics - Dave C. & Wendy G.


Shunter on the sight seeing tour is very impressed by the Brandenburg Gate

new and old... Clinton Below... Florian above...


Phaty keeping an eye on things...

The KNAAK Club was a long narrow bar with a cramped Band room tucked away down the back, well past the main bar. Grunter and I arrived in a cab about 10.30pm after leaving the Generator Hostel at 7pm and bar-hopping our way through the city center, Mitte and Alexanderplatz. So much to do and see and drink, so little time! We were just in time to see the Band, “Fabulous Disaster”, kick off. Phaty, Alex and the boys had flown the girls out from the USA just for the gig!!! Fuck the Germans don’t do things by halves. F/D rocked in that Spazzy’s/Melodic punk kinda way and the bass player was trying to be very punk-rock by spitting on the crowd. The very appreciative s/speed crowd didn’t need much of a push to go off in fact I’d say quite a few of them were “off” before they arrived. It was good to bump into New Zealander Clinton J., last years winner, partying on the night before the big day. I wondered, as I looked around at all the drunken tom-foolery, was this year’s champion amongst this lot? Its all a bit blurry but I remember drinking 500ml Berliner Pilseners on the footpath out front then Becks inside...the mosh pit. Phaty’s speech...the stripper...lacy red lingerie semi-naked men rolling around on

Never know wh en you’ll need another bottle opener

The Siegessaule - Berlin

The Pre-race party, Friday 20th August.


Yeah yeah...history and architechture is all good but, where is the beer garden

n c i w l s ser b

the beer soaked floor and then it was It’s all a bit blurry but I believe Shunter and Grunter had a great time. Feeling the weight of Australia’s expectations on our shoulders we stumbled home to our very busy and crowded Hostel room. I’m not sure whether it was common knowledge but room 536 had a faulty door, you didn’t need the electronic key card you just gave it a sharp push. We had some strays crash in our room of 8 beds and when the head count reached 12 at a couple were evicted. Race Day Saturday 21st August.

The day dawned a little overcast, grey and very hung over. It was a struggle to move quickly and make the cut- off for breakfast. Not only that, we had to get our bikes loaded onto the trucks (they wanted 6 Euro for each bike) Grunter haggled and got a “media” discount…I think he thought he was still in Vietnam. We both forced down 2 breakfasts each, cereal, bread rolls, juice and coffees. We didn’t have bottles for our bikes or any supplies to get us through the day so we filled up ahead of time. A nice touch by the organizers was the coffee cart located down near the kitchen. The coffee at the hostel was your standard no-frills-instant variety so the boys hired a “serious” coffee machine to get people moving in the morning. There was definitely a “buzz of excitement” in the air. There was more than that “in the air” in the men’s room, especially after we visited, now I know how “Grunter” got his name! It seems our pre-race training camp in Hanoi and Kids, never drink and get a tattoo!


The ‘80s were great!

OnOne ad

n c i w l ssr


Cheap and fine! the mountains of inland Vietnam had left us with a case of Hanoi-Belly. What had seemed like a great idea at first had left us feeling a little hollow. Ah well….in never-say-die Aussie battler spirit, remembering the Anzacs, the Kokoda trail, Gallipoli not to mention the America’s Cup back in ’83 And humming “I come from a land downunder” with the occasional chorus of “I still call Australia Home” we headed out to board one of the two huge double -decker busses waiting out front. A special moment occurred as we were all standing around waiting to board the busses (Aussie team member) Damian rolled through the middle of the assembled throng with his bike mounted stereo blasting out AC-DC. Damian who is a familiar sight at Australian single-speed

ngest single fact - The lo ers long. Berlin Wall is 1300 met n io ct se remaining okin’ east. West side lo


Three stooges : Matt, Jezz an d Damo events with his bike-/stereo had upgraded his set- up, in particular his speakers, and was definitely turning a few heads. The man knows how to make an entrance! Finally around little over 300 oddly dressed s/speeders crammed onto the busses and they headed out through Berlin towards Furstenwalde, 100 k’s to the east, almost on the Polish Border. It was 10 Euro for a seat on the bus, Grunter and I gave Phaty a hug each and he let us on for free - I’m so glad it wasn’t 20 Euro for a seat. Some time later we arrived at a Moto-cross track in the middle of a leafy green forest somewhere. Grunter and I slept the

Du lookst like einen dumkopf! Jawohl!

No pushing, no gouging, no holding, no choking, no squirrell grips, no Hopoate’s (unless you like that sort of thing), CHARGE!!!


angles from all r’s Hill Heckle

whole way as we are highly trained athletes and can switch our bodies to “rest mode” by sheer will power alone. We disembarked to find our bikes laid out for us in a large field, we grabbed them and headed over to the registration area to sign up. The registration area had a beer tent and a food tent which sold all the usual pre-race fare. That is your usual GERMAN pre-race fare such as chips with mayonnaise (surely that started off as a joke) and a whole range of Bratwurst sausages. We eyed off the beer tent but thought better of it...we did however carbo-load with a couple of Bratwursts and a plate of chips washed down with sparkling water purchased from the bar at 2 Euro’s a cup. As the 2 o’clock start time drew near the race costumes started to appear with the usual assortment of guys in dresses and wigs. There was a group dressed in black suits, white shirts, thin black ties and carrying replica pistols looking like they just stepped out of the movie Reservoir Dogs, why?...well that would be revealed right before the start. I couldn’t spot too many serious looking fit fuckers although they were probably lying down somewhere having their legs rubbed down with oil and thinking about tyre pressures. 2 o’clock found us standing in the same field we found our bikes in originally. This was definitely the biggest single-speed race I had ever been in and it was a sight to behold. Phaty gave us some sort of rider briefing whilst looking resplendent in his leather kilt and blue grey camo shirt (I’m not sure what look he was going for? But he got away with it). The briefing was mercifully interrupted by a gunfight that broke out amongst the “Reservoir Dogs” guys (and gal). With pistols drawn they ran around shooting each other, one by one they were gunned down with

Luv’ your purple bits.

n c i w l s sr


Don’t like yours... Yours aren’t bad though..


The crowd got their Euros worth



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This guy entered both the 20� and 27� class

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Some guy who works for Spot

fake blood staining their crisp white shirts. With the gun fight over and before I could say “that’ll never come out” the race was on. The Race The Le-mans start saw us run 300 metres to our bikes and then ride straight back where we came from through on coming foot traffic. No-one knew where the exit was and chaos ensued. Tragically I lost my Blue-glass ‘80s sunnies in the hustle and bustle of the start and without them I wasn’t sure if I could continue. These babies have done every single speed race I have ever done but I thought about the Diggers in the trenches in WW1 who fought and died somewhere around here (well, in Europe somewhere) and I soldiered on. GRUNTER;: “Well after a damn late night at the night -before party I got back to our room which smelt of stale booze and echoed to the sounds of snoring (thanks Jez). I awoke with a hangover and scoffed some food before the hour- plus bus ride which gave me time for some napping. After

These two were neck and neck all day a Bratwurst and fries for lunch the race began with the ol’ fashion lemans start. I actually started quickly as many others were confused as to where to go, but Phaty told me before hand what to do. I was around 20th for the first lap which was very, very quick with a lot of people attempting stupid passing manoeuvres in the single track”. The Track. The Circuit was about 7k’s in length with

The dope guy

Dude! Yo are on ur arms fire!

4k’s of superb, sweeping, winding singletrack. After the start there was a dirt road or two, a concrete path and then you dropped onto the wide a sandy moto-cross track. After a few laps a race line formed and you could get enough speed to launch off the jumps, particularly the large drop offs. It was here that most of spectators gathered as it was possible to see riders ride all the way round the moto-x circuit, plus the Beer tent was here as well. After that it was a short stretch of dirt road to the single track. There was the odd tree root, the odd rock here and there (and 300 very odd single speeders) but nothing too technical. The most difficult parts of the course were those with patches of loose sand which made some of the small steep pinches almost unrideable. With no real climbs on the course the track was pretty congested on the first few laps. For the whole race (1.5hrs plus a lap) you had people to ride with, pass or get passed by. The entrance to the first bit of Damo - “You shook me all night long”

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More chaos and bedlam at Heckler’s Hill.

Berlin Wall - close up and personal



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single track on the first lap was basically a big cue of riders waiting patiently for their turn. It allowed for plenty of cultural exchanges with 17 nations being represented. A few laps in it became apparent riders were stopping for costume changes, Rudy (cover boy) Nadler from the good ‘ol US of A opted for a Tu-tu midway through the event. And what was worn under the Tu-Tu? I hear you ask, well nothing, it was all in perfect working order. But seriously, I didn’t get close enough to get a good look but those who did said it wasn’t pretty. Nothing personal Rudy. I stopped in the single track to take some snaps of the riders as they came through and after shooting a dozen riders or so, through the trees I spotted a rider disrobing. Shaggy from the UK was the first rider to nude up. Sporting a stunning all over milky-white English tan, Shaggy turned quite a few heads and even more stomachs as he completed his last few laps. Down the back of the field it was a very social affair, plenty of chatting, stopping on corners to momentarily become a spectator and even the occasional

Dude! Watch out for the tree!

NIce tidy rear end

Benny from NZ

Clinton from NZ

No helmet, no gloves, no gears, no problems

Bier from Berlin


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Check out her rear end! Shes got no gears


beer. There were no bar facilities on the actual course so these riders must have BYO’d. GRUNTER: “After entering the moto-x track for the second time it was time to ease for a spew. I carried on slowing dramatically after that.” I’m sure up the front somewhere there was a race going on but back in the main bunch you’d never know it. It wasn’t until a few laps in that I “eased up” to allow the leaders to catch me so I could see what was going on. It was like watching some sort of crazy bike parade….it seemed that half the field was fully rigid (no suspension that is!) a handful weren’t even wearing helmets. There were a couple of tandems, one serious and one shitter and more than a sprinkling of fixed gear bikes, beach cruisers and a guy on an old 26 1 3/8” street bike with the 3 speed gears disconnected. A few riders on 700c wheels & plenty of 29”ers . After watching the field go past I was struck by the fact that only a small number of riders seemed to be really going for it, I saw the 2 New Zealanders Clinton Jackson and Benny Devcich fly past looking pretty serious. New Zealanders always try so hard in sporting contests…I think it must be because they have really small penises and are over compensating. Heckler’s Hill was one of the best spots to watch from.. Two thirds of the way through the single track in the forest, Heckler’s Hill was a steep pinch about 50 metres long that climbed up onto an embankment where you turned right around a tree and then dropped back into the woods. On approach to Hecklers Hill you could hear yelling, clapping, cheering and the sounds of laughter and merriment. Then as you rolled up to the base your wheels sunk into the loosest, softest sand on the course. Most riders had to dismount and push/run their bike up. On a good day with no other riders getting in the way, no hangover and more

“Sometimes less is more�

Distributed by Deluxe Imports ( - 03.9670.0522

n c i w l s sr


Shunter doing Australia proud by looking for a shortcut.


than 2 hours sleep it would have just been rideable. On this day however I only saw a couple of riders get over it cleanly: race leader Florian Eschenbach and an over- compensating Clinton J who wheel- spun all the way up and just made it to the tree, grabbed it with his right hand and pulled himself around. The most entertaining part of Heckler’s Hill was, of course, the hecklers themselves. Anyone that had flames on their bikes, helmets or tattooed on their arms or legs was warned “Dude...your bikes on fire!” or “Dude...your arms on fire!”, and so on. No-one was spared. At the bottom of the sandy descent from Heckler’s Hill was a small s-bend with a medium sized tree on the right that had claimed a couple of victims. Every rider was warned about this tree repeatedly, from the start of the descent ‘till they passed it. There was a cheer each time a rider successfully made it (although the cheer was tinged with a note of disappointment). As I looked around I noticed that most of the Hecklers were leaning on bikes with race numbers strapped on. I rejoined the race after I reluctantly watched Shaggy run past naked with 2 guys in G- strings not far behind. It was very wrong but it was like a car accident I didn’t wanna see it but I couldn’t look away. GRUNTER:; “On my 5th lap I basically stopped and walked sections as I hit the wall big-time. Shunter caught me as I was just into my 6th lap and I scoffed all his water!!!! I was rooted!” I was just starting to get my rhythm when I was told there was 15 minutes to go - damn that went quick. I had sweated out the excesses from the night before, drunk a litre of water and was about to loosen the tie and have a serious “go”.

I met up with Grunter and we rode the moto-cross track and our final lap together. He looked like he’d been doing it hard and I was finishing a lot stronger than him. After years of racing experience, trial and error I have discovered a sure- fire way of conserving energy and finishing strong. Here’s my secret;... doing less laps than everyone else, stopping to rest and taking short cuts. Trust me it works and it’s only cheating if you win! I “negative splitted” my last lap by taking a left after the motocross track where everyone else went right setting a PB for the day. As I rode to the finish next to cruiser girl and watched the guy ahead of me negotiate the soft sand on 700c wheels I thought about the variety of people and bikes here today and was impressed. The race was over much too soon. I was thoroughly entertained by the course and the competitors/participants themselves. Quite often I was watching the riders ahead of me so intently I forgot I was riding….like I was on automatic pilot. I think the world championship races should be longer,



Victory is


wed er borro bike, own numb wed Borro upside d ether! g et, helm our shit to y - get

Phaty and Katharina


it’d keep the fit fuckers happy and the rest of us could do more spectating. The Finish -, At the end of the day American Linda Eckhart won the women’s race, just like she did last year in Australia, and Florian Eschenbach from Germany took out the men’s title. We think Clinton got second and maybe Deejay got third (as he did last year). Hard luck story of the day goes to Deejay who put in a top ride on his swanky new proto-type 29” Gary fisher. It got run over by a car, fortunately though he wasn’t on it. A special mention must go to the 3 girls who didn’t have bikes to ride but entered anyway, they looked great carrying their national flags with numbers strapped around their waists. Calling themselves “Teamnofuckingspeed” Ellen Buthe & Fabiana Rutsch (Germany) and Katharina Savvides from Greece walked the whole way. The finish line was on one of the big drop-offs at the end of the moto-x track and there were some big finishes. The English/Outcast guys linked arms and skipped across the line, Damo turned his volume up to “11” and cruised home in his revealing white jump suit. Everyone else just milled around wishing it wasn’t over. Official stats said 303 riders competed and 17 nations were represented, USA, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Scotland, Wales, England, Ireland, France, Spain, Greece, Belgium, The Netherlands, Sweden, Hungary, Switzerland and of course Germany. And they are all the stats your gonna get. After posing for a team photo (sorry Pete we couldn’t find you) we headed over to the beer tent. We drank a few “Raedlers” (beer mixed with sprite) to raise our energy level and found out Raedler is German for cyclist….. interesting. The post race party started as soon as everyone arrived back at the Hostel…the presentations were a bit of fun and then the serious partying started [to get done?].. A friendly skid competition turned into a serious nude skid comp in (both male and female) in which plenty

The “Hill” claims another victim


of skin was left on the concrete. I remember falling asleep in my room about listening to the sound of naked bodies hitting the ground, aluminium grinding on concrete and cheering. I had strange dreams that night.


Wendy; So you came specifically for this? Jessica; I came for this (SSWC’04) and then I realized there was another s/speed race in Scotland so I’m gonna go do that as well. I’ve never been to Europe, it’s so “big city” and I’m not into the big city thing. But I really like, anytime it’s a bike event, it’s a better way to get the local bike culture in me and I really like that a lot. Wendy; So what did you think of the course today, was it as hard as it looked? Jessica; Did you see the whole thing? Wendy; No I could only see the bit from here (outside beer tent) Jessica; It was…It hurt more than I though it would. I wasn’t expecting it to hurt but I guess that depends on how fast you go! Haha. It was hard to keep momentum and there wasn’t ways to pass people and there wasn’t anywhere to rest really. It was still really fun. Wendy; You were quite errrm, what’s the word, “Taken” should we say with Darren’s (Grunter’s?) backside. Jessica; Ha-haha…Well…The great thing is I wasn’t worried that anyone was gonna be angry if I did fuck-up or wasn’t like, aww they’re gonna get really mad because they’re really competitive, competing and trying to win. So we’re like kinda, maybe..yunno brings out the whole freedom of expression while your riding and I did, I nailed him in the ass! I apologized right then and he was laughing and I sort of ended up, I think, I crashed after that or something, so it was good. Karma… everything worked out. Wendy; Quite cute isn’t it? Jessica; Yeah definitely, and I was probably staring at his ass in the first place. I’m really not sure. I was very serious about this race so I really WASN”T looking at any boys. Wendy; Oh you didn’t see the naked men? Jessica; I was looking, I was looking for ‘em. There was half naked men all over. Wendy; Did you actually see any “fit” ones? Jessica; I do, I love that because people are

actually… Wendy; I mean “Fit” as in good looking not fit as in healthy! Jessica; Oh yeah, Ok. Umm yes, definitely and it’s also the attitude. If someone has a good attitude it adds a lot to their “fitness”. If they’re free spirited and fun loving and not a snob, love having fun and like riding bikes, then that’s it. Wendy; You couldn’t ask for much more really could you? Jessica; Yeah that’s it, that’s the package! Wendy; So, What do you think of Clinton (J) then? Jessica; Oh he’s fast, yunno. It was good to talk to him in the bar, umm, even though he was like the “poised to win” guy, he was still drinking beers even though we had to twist his arm. He was still drinking and having a good time so that was, or made him really, really cool, that was good. Wendy; He doesn’t actually seem that bothered that he hasn’t won does he? Jessica; No and that also is really cool. Wendy; So are you looking forward to the party tonight? Jessica; Oh my god!! Yeah we can party professionally now. We don’t have to worry about this race thing getting in the way..Yeah, Like really because, Fuck! Like 3.30am was a good bed time, It got me enough rest to come out here and do my best but I felt like it was cut short. It limited my party muscle and I wanna exercise it fully this evening. Wendy; So your going to go the Full Monty are you? Jessica; I think so but I might need a nap.

Jessica and Wendy talking tall trackside..


words - Dr. John / pics - Trina “the singlespeed widow” Ritchie

September 11th 2004. I creep slowly through the house. No lights are on. It is 5.30 am and the first glimmer of dawn is beckoning through the bathroom window. My eyes begin to focus and see trees bending and the rain lashing down. I decide to make a pact with the Devil. Rewind

A long time has passed since the Telly Savalas Players Club took on the task of generating a riding event all about the ‘feel’ of singlespeeding. The preparation began in January 2004. A meeting of minds, even amongst those who know each other so well, can sometimes produce a cacophony. Not so for the players. After several hours holed up in our command bunker, with a supply of Belgium’s’ finest, a firm view of the paradigm congealed. All Chris, Marty and I had to do was work out how to make our vision a reality for around one hundred people and thus carry forward the mantle we recognised in Minneapolis, Thetford, Bristol, Downieville and Castlemaine. We formed a loose working plan to utilise our varying abilities and knowledge base. A surprisingly short list of tasks was divvied up between the players. The goal: a good hard race and some fine liquor for the singlespeeders of Europe. Representing the very best of Scottish riding was imperative. If people were to travel, in some cases many thousands of miles and all at great expense, we owed them the cream of the crop. But it had to be tough enough. There can be nothing as rewarding as feeling too tired to keep riding, but being drawn back out for another lap by the beauty of the land and the undulations of a fine trail. We wanted to have a ride out. Minneapolis demonstrated the strange power of vast numbers of singlespeeders snaking down trails together. I will never forget that feeling of righteousness. To succeed, the town had to be relatively near the course. One or two potential venues

Go Matt...Go!

were reluctantly crossed off. Point to point races were considered. Unfortunately, the fickle nature of Scotland’s’ weather combined with marshalling and transport difficulties favoured a loop. Maybe we could do a point to point sometime in the future. Maybe, maybe. The where’s and what’s began to fall into place. Nestled neatly alongside both major road and railway, and near a sus-trans route from Inverness airport, is Aviemore. A thriving ski industry jostles with biking, walking, climbing and wind surfing. The result: outdoor culture, with accommodation and technical support near at hand. A great shop with

essc-scotland september 11, 2004 aviemore


The enchanted forest of Aviemore


Sun and singletrack in Scotland.

knowledgeable staff in the form of Bothy Bikes, good food and coffee at Cafe Mambo, and several establishments selling the amber nectar including the Cairngorm Hotel, who agreed to lend us their function room in the evenings, rounded out the picture. Seven or so miles as the trail rolls east of Aviemore is Badaguish (say bad~oo~ish). Badaguish is an outdoor centre primarily for young and disabled people. It boasts a

terrifying adventure area including a set of high level zip wires and monkey rings that would make the SAS tremble. Around the centre are a number of bike trails, including a race course nurtured by David of Bothy Bikes and the local Speyside MTB club. The Forest Enterprise are responsible for most stuff that goes on amongst the trees of the highlands. One trail stood out as the main contender and the man from ‘eff ee‘, he say yes. After several meetings with the incredibly energetic and helpful staff of Badaguish outdoor centre we had our course. The one thing we had hoped for but had not counted on was the open and positive response from the local people and businesses. Every effort was made to accommodate our efforts. A real breath of fresh air. After contacting the insurance companies we knew we were going to have to find something special to keep the costs sensible. We cried for deliverance and ‘The League International’ answered from their stone tower in the middle of a dark loch somewhere deep in the desolate heart of Scotland. Yes, they could insure us, no it wouldn’t cost the earth, the moon and the stars. We began to slip gracefully from a position of commitment to one of foundation. The game was on. The media contact began by the end of February. Singletrack graciously ran a story and some other websites, bars and coffee emporiums were informed. Hey! We knew our targets. The art of relaxation - or the ‘keep it tight, but loose’ factor - called for no pre-entries and no specifics regarding the course. And then time p a.s..s...e....d. A fortnight prior to the event, 2 of the organisers had disappeared on holiday. The period of time before this was an absolute blur of activity. A close friend handy with both graphic images and a computer had created the logo. T shirts were on order. The financial commitment had begun. The singlespeedwidow cut perfect circles from pink paper after creating the badge logo. Badges were then laboriously made one at a time with a child’s ‘badge it’ machine. Bothy Bikes offered never ending advice and groomed the


The “Latte set” in Aviemore

Hanging at Bothy Bikes, the scene of the decider


course to perfection. Finally an anchor was acquired, just in case anyone particularly fast showed up. And then we arrived in dribs and drabs. The organising team settled in to a house just near the hub of the action. Pressing flesh and negotiating for beer stock began in earnest. Some local brews were procured and it took a monumental amount of effort not to crack them open. Like the lull before a storm, Thursday the 9th passed. The sun shone brilliantly despite a horrific forecast. Pre rides were glorious. By the evening we became nervous. We hoped it would be fine. Expectantly, we looked south. Marshals were press-ganged. The sun beamed. Friday was course marking day. A task that was both time consuming and interesting. A tricky, technical course needed enough markings to allow a sure knowledge of where to go and what to slow down for. But the flow, whatever you do, don’t ruin the flow. As one Telly Savalas crew member awaited the arrival of the racers, 2 others rode the course as a final check before the party began in earnest. A radiant day and a golden citrus and hops flavoured beverage greeted the friends new and old at Cafe Mambo. The

course was in fine fettle. We began the sign on process. As the numbers entering rose our confidence grew. Americans, Australians and many bodies from the four corners of our own wee kingdom took race numbers and personalised them appropriately. The only rules: drink beer, enjoy and turn up for the ride out leaving at 10.45 am sharp the next day. An impromptu derby at closing time signalled high spirits. No major injuries to racers and no major incidents with the 5-oh meant the night closed well. What would the next day bring? 5.30 am Saturday the 11th

Something wakes me up. I start to creep slowly through the silent, dark house. Saturday 11th September - later on

Kona have set up a gazebo and we are taking entries thick and fast. A few souls look lustily at the Kona hot rod, but, hey! its got gears! Spots of rain fall from a dark and ominous sky, but the Devil seems to be keeping his side of the bargain. Racers are smiling and talking. The picture postcard back drop of Bothy Bikes alpine-style shop provides warmth, shelter and the occasional cup of coffee. It also acts as a beacon for the riders arriving from the various campsites and bed



and breakfasts around Aviemore. Some more shonky than others. Soon there is a fair throng of riders and its almost time to go. Some last minute organisational details are ironed out by the players, and one of their members guns his Land Rover for Badaguish with the marshals in tow. The clock strikes 11am and a weaving line of some 80 singlespeeders leaves the shop. The sun breaks cover and the beautiful Rothiemurchas estate garners many oohs and aahs. As one of only several remaining patches of the great ‘Caledonian forest’ it truly is a legendary piece of land. 7 beautiful miles later and we are nearly at our destination. The riders are still in the dark with regards the course, and one poor fellow is going to have to borrow a bike as his freewheel is toasted. I look up and narrow my eyes into the sun. Better the Devil you know... We gather for the ubiquitous Le Mans start and go over the new Belgian tough guy style of racing. The storms on the horizon cause a reduction in race time to 1 hour 45 minutes plus a lap. Kind of a cross thing. As the bell tolls the riders look at me somewhat stunned. GO! GO! The mass grab bikes and pedal for the hills as one great peloton. Straight up a fire road

Grunter all dressed up and going nowhere fast

climb the pace is hot, a fantastic site for us as 9 months of mind bending and effort suddenly coalesces. I can imagine the racers turning right and grunting up a short singletrack climb, before a left into one of the most visually stunning singletracks I have ever seen. From there a few technical rock drops and into a tricky, slippery rock and root infested link singletrack to a short fire road which ends at the top of a dark and mossy drop, winding down the fall line. The best description I can offer is the speeder bikes racing though a forest on Endor in ‘Return of the Jedi’. At the end of this section is a steep shoot to another linking fire road section and it is here I position myself to see the first racers come through surprisingly swiftly. As a racer myself, I very rarely get to spectate. It has been all hands on deck with family and friends marshalling and Chris, Marty and myself (3/4 of the telly savalas players) spread between start/finish area, timing, marshalling and ‘runner and sandwich delivery boy’ roles. What a site! Bikes skipping and careering barely under control. Riders smile and seem stoked as they fly past. I decide not to mention that they have a steep and nasty climb on a slender trail under a canopy of amazing

Damo blasting out da tunes


“For all it’s worth - I spoke to all these people but, I don’t remember any of them” - Grunter

trees before the next flowing narrow gauge track delivers them to the bottom of the first fire road climb. The field are fairly strung out. With so much singletrack on a race course, we were pretty concerned about congestion. It would seem that the climbing and the technical nature of the trails has afforded everyone their own little space where they become preoccupied by the pain in their gams and concentrate on the next slimey off-camber corner . The players are working hard, as are the marshals. The vibe is clearly good and this buoys us all along. As the laps add up, it is obvious the course is taking its toll. Racers seem increasingly haggard and pinched as they pass by. Finally, the clarion call of the last lap bell ends a very close battle between Dan Darwood, Fraser Malloch and Shaggy (first to third respectively for the blokes). Jenn Hopkins wins in fine style for the ladies, followed by Jessica Conner and Alison Rushton. It would not be a single speed race without a naked lap and Shaggy is all too willing to provide the entertainment. Even my mum (marshal no.5) has to laugh. As the field finishes and congregates we

opt to bring the decider forward from the original evening time slot. The ever brooding sky continues to darken as we set off in critical mass for Bothy Bikes shop. There David, the main man, and myself hurriedly mark out the tight loop around the shop and adjoining car park. Maybe 30 seconds for a lap, but we both know that the baying crowd and steep drop ins will make for a high octane finish. A beer for all the racers seems to keep out the chill as the girls kick off. The top 3 plus 2 ‘wild cards’ race mano y mano for 3 laps. What a hoot it is. A pile up, several crashes on the slick roots and a major last lap effort from one wild card play out infront of a blood thirsty crowd. Surprisingly the top 3 are the same as in the main race. Justice seems to be done and the blokes line up. 5 laps of furious effort produces only a slight difference from the main race. One thing that did not differ was the naked lap, again from Shaggy. He has cojones that man, it has to be said. The riding over, and the racers showered and fed, we gather in the Cairngorm Hotel for an evening of relaxed chatting, whisky sampling and a few ambers tipped to the efforts of the day. Prizes are handed out including

best dressed (Damien) best facial hair (Phil the horse) and slowest (Dave A - he won the boat anchor). The t shirts, badges and ‘Ones’ go down a treat and the caffeinated mints from Kona add some vim. As the night winds down, a fair glow seems to be present. We lose track of the number of kind words from everyone present and there is much appreciation for the help and effort of all involved including the Rothiemurchas estate, David and the Bothy Bikes crew, Badaguish and the Cairngorm Hotel. Of course, there is the obligatory derby after closing and it is fairly robust. A skid contest amuses the locals as they wend their way home but all too soon I am lying in bed. Still buzzing, I speak for all of the players - the reality more than matched the vision. A bit of pure and unadulterated bike culture hit Aviemore on the 11th September 2004 and it was created by all those who were there. For that, whatever I owe the Devil is worth it.

ohh....I’m feeling a bit light headed!!

The g

ood D o


SCOTLAND Follow the leader in Aviemore


Hardcore duo... 24hr Spot Marathon team 1- Was it a good idea to do the MONT 24hr as a 2 man team on single speeds? Damian - Yes, I‘d recommend it. Mallachi - At the start , yes, at 3:29AM not sure and at the end...yes. 2- How did your team mate go, did he do his share? Damian - Yes, we both spent quite an effort thinking about our team name. I supplied the homebrew and he supplied the ricecream. Although he’s a person who actually enjoys wearing skinsuits, by the way he wore the same one the whole race!, he showed good Damian ripped it up without his dreds getting caught in the chain once.


pic - Dave C.

form in the sideburn department. Mallachi - Damo went well. He rock’d along, just like ACDC singing “Back in Black” 3- Did it feel longer than 24 hours Hmm...time passes differently in this kind of situation. To me it’s in 3 parts, day, night and day. Sometimes during the night when there’s not many people on the track I drift off into other places, contemplating life mostly just thinking about good t-shirt slogans. During the day I spend time trying to remember the things I was thinking about during the night. To answer your question, yes. 4-The Federal election was held that weekend, did you remember to vote? (a) If so who for? (b) And if not, why not? ( you can pay your $50 fine to us if you like) Damian - Yes, The Greens, my favourite colour. Mallachi - Only a resident in this fine land (Marrage offer - forward to One Mag, thanks). 5-Did you Keep it real during the race and drink beer, eat pizza and smoke ciggies or did you eat energy bars, drink electrolyte replacement fluids and rest? Damian - I have to admit that the homebrew stayed in the esky until after we finished and I consumed way too many Leppins. I also confess to wearing nicks under my baggies. I had a pizza the night before though! Mallachi - Yer old skool...cheese and Vegemite toasties, hot Sustagen and a mug of tea with 3 sugars. 6-What were you riding and what gear did you run? Damian - John Deere green Spot, 34 – 16. Mallachi - Spot singlespeed, 34 - 16 7-If you could be a vegetable or a type of fruit which one would you be? Damian - I like my fruit and vegetables so this isn’t an easy question. It would have to be green. Maybe a bean, no a green mango.

Mallachi - I think a tomato because sometimes I don’t know where I fit in. People think I am a vegatable but, really I am quite fruity. 8-There has not been an original band with an original sound since 1983 …Discuss. Damian - Ten years ago I would have agreed with you but now I’m not so sure. Lots of rehashed stuff around but the sounds that are original to me are the electronic and hip-hop ones. Although I am a guitar band man at heart I dig all kinds o’ sounds. Years ago when I first heard combos like Itchy and scratchy, I was a bit undecided about the whole “sample” thing. Now I can appreciate their creativity and that they can actually mix it up and play “live”. Bands like the Resin dogs or Tzu. Hey that was a really mature well thought out answer wasn’t it? What I really mean to say is, nothing affects the hairs on the back of my neck like pre 1983 ACDC! Mallachi - Yes, that’s the case with this interview... no original questions! Oops, sorry, that was the old grumpy Mallachi answering that one. 9-How many laps did you do in total? Damian - 11. Mallachi - The team did 21, I did 10. 10-What/when was your best lap and when was your worst lap? Damian - Best lap was the sunrise lap, I did a double lap and as I started my second, the sun came up. I experienced a renewed clarity and realised it was a great idea to ride as a 2 man team and we had chosen the right team name, although I still couldn’t remember some of those t-shirt ideas. Worst lap, that’s a bit hazy. It was probably the one at about 10pm. It was the second lap of a double lap and the lights didn’t go the distance so the last 4-5 k’s were particularly drawn out. When I arrived at the transition I heard the news about who was leading the country for the next few years, although this wasn’t a joyous moment, I was still happy with our team name. Mallachi - When I had a clash song in my head it was good but, then Bette Midler got in there with “You Are The Wind Beneath My

What type of bacteria can grow in a chamois after 24 hrs of sweat? Lets not find out!

pic - Todd W.

Wings” and it all went to shit on that corner. 11-Are you happy with the quality of the questions? Damian - Yes Mallachi - Mmmm...?!! 12-What do you consider to be the worlds best colour A6 singlespeed magazine? Damian - Why didn’t you ask about the quality of the questions after asking this one? Mallachi - Mmmm...? I will get back to you on that one, it’s hard to base my view on one issue (grumpy Mallachi again). 13-Are you superstitious, Is it bad luck to have 13 questions in an interview? Damian - You just asked 2 questions, which makes 14, no I’m not superstitious. Mallachi - Only if I answer this question.


MONT 24hr 9/10/04 Canberra, Australia.

We roamed the camps looking for faithfull S/S riders and beer, food and anything else going. Each year sees a few more competing. This years couse was very rough but, there were still quite a few full rigid numbers out amoungst the many duallies (soft cocks). The ‘04 Mont was bigger than ever, over 2,000 riders lapping non-stop around the rugged 19.7k course. Everyone who has a crack at a 24hr race is a legend but a few choose to make it even tougher. To these few who choose to fly higher and harder than the rest we raise our glasses and dedicate the next few pages...




dam M

A pic -

night pic - Dave C. (he’s proud of this one)

At 6.30am with just 6 hrs of racing left I wandered into the campsite of TEAM UNLIMITED BICYCLES in search of a cooked breakfast. Instead I found a very organized, efficient campsite with a place for everything and everything in its

place. The only thing that appeared out of place in this 6 man team was their lone Single-speed team mate. I thought I’d make him feel special and have a chat… DC; What sorta lap times have you been doing onya singlespeed? SS Guy; A 59(minute) and a 1h:02 DC; Yeah? That’s very respectable. SS Guy; And I’m just about to go out on my third. DC; A lotta people I’ve been speaking to, who have been riding hardtails, have been very uncomfortable with the course. SS Guy; Yeah but if your on a singlespeed you stand up most of the time anyway, so your standing up over the bumps. DC; So you haven’t had any lower back problems? SS Guy; Oh it hurts but I haven’t broken a seat pole so obviously I haven’t been sitting down as much as most. DC; So your having no real serious problems, not unhappy with your choice of a hardtail? SS Guy; Ohh yeah well It’d be nice on a duallie. It seemed to actually be getting a bit smoother, but maybe I’m just “numbing”.





We don’t know how he did it but, Grunter caught Eddy Merckx off gaurd in Athens at the 2004 Olympics...this is totally for real...we can’t make up stuff this good!

TO; ONEMAG ATT; TODD W. FROM; GRUNTER IN ENGLAND G’day mate, following is the Merckx interview, Stop . Have sent all my pics on 2 CD’s 2-days ago, Stop. Hang on to ‘em for me, Stop. Can’t stop saying stop!, Stop. I think I’ve stopped?...Stop. Fuck it, Stop. Grunter: Thanks for taking some time with ONEMag E. Merckx: My pleasure, Gunther (laughter)? er...Grunter!, emm yah, yes Grunther. Grunter: You must be very pleased with your sons bronze medal? E. Merckx: Yer, yes, it’s something I never did. Get a (Olympic) medal. I am very pleased. Grunter: And what was your finest or favorite win in your illustrious career? E. Merckx: Ah…yes that would have to be my first Tour de France win. It was special. No “Belgique” had won for 22 years too. Grunter: What about singlespeeding? Do you ride one? E. Merckx: Of course, I beat the hour record on one. Grunter: I am racing the Euro singlespeed champs in a week, can I borrow it? E. Merckx: It’s in da museum know? Grunter: Can you give me some singlespeed tips? E. Merckx: You must always have the best gear and power, must pace yourself. Grunter: Will we see you in Scotland? E. Merckx: My next stop is London. I make the final day of the Tour of Britain. Grunter: Then the Singlespeeds? E. Merckx: Will your sponsor pay? England is very much...expensive, you know. Grunter: I still have 400,000 Dong left from my stay in Hanoi? E. Merckx: Euro!, 400 towsend? Grunter: No Dong. I have a lot of Dong. E. Merckx: You have dong, a dong? Grunter: Dingaling long you like Ministry? Jesus built my hotrod?

E. Merckx: Ahhhh?? (Confused) Grunter: The Rock band? E. Merckx: I think perhaps Axel does. Grunter: Axel Rose?...sings for Guns ‘n’ Roses? E. Merckx: Non, Non, mine Axel. Grunter: You mean the bike part don’t you? E. Merckx: No! my son. Grunter: Your sons named after Axel Rose? or the bike part(s)? E. Merckx: You don’t understand but I finish now. Grunter: Eddy, do you remember telling me off when a friend of mine threw a notepad and pen over the Gent 6 day track, telling me to get your autograph? E. Merckx: Yes, and you deserved my words. Grunter: and ONEMag deserves your words today. E. Merckx: My pleasure Grindler. Grunter: Grunter. E. Merckx: Yes….Grinter. Bye.





After spotting Matt at the Berlin event Grunter caught up with Wing Commander, Mr Blackford at the Aviemore event. What follows may not make sence to most but, five lagers first might help to clear things up. Grunter






Grunter: So who am I talking to? Adam: Wing commander Adam Blackford Grunter: And what do you do for a job? Adam: With a name like wing commander, what the fuck do you think I do? Grunter: Donno, I am just asking a question. Adam: Actually I fix air conditioning. Grunter: How did you find the race today? Adam: Harsh! Grunter: Why harsh? Adam: Too technical for me, too foocking harsh. Grunter: What did you do for preparation?? Adam: A few isotonic lagers last night!! Grunter: Do they

Surely those tassles are unsafe near spinning wheels?





Th Grunteer Files


make those here in Scotland? Adam: Yeh....its called sports lager!! Grunter: How long you been s/speeding? Adam: 1 year. Grunter: How old are you? Adam: i am 34. Grunter: Are you lying to me? Adam: No I am trying not to. I just cant fucking remember all the time you know....its quite sad really! Grunter: What is your favorite water based lubricant? Adam: KY jelly every time Grunter: Did you use any of that today? Adam: Yes...early hours this morning!! Grunter: Is that a part of race preparation also? Adam: Yep, emptying the sack! emptying the sack makes the seat more comfortable, and makes you lighter. Grunter: What was your breakfast? Adam: The most disgusting shitty fry up. the all bran was acceptable but the fry up was crap. Grunter: Did that go right through you? Adam: What do you reckon? of course, its part of the preparation to race lighter!! Grunter: How did you attack the course today? Adam: Well I was the last male up the hill Grunter: Were you flirting with the ladies? Adam: That’s one word for it, flirting and panting!! got to get back to The bar bruv, see ya.


Fixed wheeling for fun Singlespeeders are regarded as being a little left of center, you know, dancing to a different tune. Fixed gear riders are not only listening to a different tune but, the song is being sung in a different language. Marcus Walker attempts to shine a light into the darkness that is the fixed gear - off roader’s psyche.

pic - Dave C. - How many did I have to shoot to get the logo like that?


Well, you’ve done the single speed thing and survived, and you are wondering “How the hell can I make life harder for myself?” “Should I just take off my seat and ride on the pole?” “What’s the next level of pain?” Well I’ve got the answer...fixed wheeling! I know some of you may feel that giving up gears is enough, why give up the luxury of freewheeling too? Well listen up grasshopper and the

and profit.

cleverness of my stupidity will be revealed. Being a bicycle mechanic (or in my case, pretending to be one for the last 20 years) the maintenance schedule on my bikes is at best described as the emergency/crisis program. This schedule is also known as the “if it ain’t broke then don’t fix it” or as we fixed wheel types say “if it ain’t fixed then it must be broken“. If your maintenance schedule resembles this then you are definitely a candidate for fixed wheeling. The only maintenance needed is oiling the chain when it gets so noisy that it drowns out conversation. Plus, new brake pads when the stubs of the posts make a loud scraping noise against the rims, see... its simple. I’m a simple kinda guy and the my bike works just as well in 3 feet of water as it does in a foot of sand. Fixed wheeling also helps break down age and social barriers. Since I went fixed, old people have been talking to me about “Mocka” & “Patto”, the old Essendon board track and a whole era that I was born 25 years after. Although to be fair I’ve gone a bit retro in other areas as I always wear a woolen jersey (find me a synthetic half as good as wool and I will wear it ) and the classic Brooks team professional leather saddle (again ,find me a saddle as good as a Brooks , I

know they are heavy but, comfort has a price, also, when else can you legitimately slap your groin around with a bit of studded leather since the Hellfire Club closed ?). Another benefit of the fixed wheel is that when conversing with old people, I can “talk the talk”. That is, I know what they are talking about when they talk to me about gear “inches”, roll out etc…aaahhhh its good to reminisce with strangers (it saves alotta time!!). XT what? Dura who?…. Since going fixed (Ed- not being fixed, much to his wife’s dismay) I haven’t had to pay any attention to the latest trends. I am so far ahead of the trends that they will never catch up (Ed- or are you so far-far-far ahead that you’ve almost lapped the field and you only “appear” to be trailing behind.) Gear selection for single speeders should be done at home , not on the trail. I don’t have any compatability problems, I fit on the bike, my feet fit in my shoes, my shoes fit on my pedals...compatible...simple. The most vital component of any fixie is of course, the chain, it’s gotta be tough, ’bout the same size as the ones that drive the cement mixers on “Readymix” trucks. Without a chain you’ve got a scooter. How does it ride? I hear you ask. Well grasshopper, listen on and all will be revealed. With a clutch you only pedal or do nothing (Freewheel...Hey I just got the pun!) but, with fixed-wheeling there are three phases of pedaling . The first phase is obviously power or “drive”, the second is “neutral” where you learn to let your legs go with the flow (49 kph at 196 rpm max speed to date). Obviously you gotta get your head around the fact that that you are gunna spin your tits off on any downhill, although there has been no reduction in the size of my manboobs, despite spinning like Ryan Bailey. The final, but most useful phase for off road fixed-wheeling is of course “reverse” or reverse thrust. Riding a fixed is like driving a manual car (auto’s are for the handicapped) you have an “engine brake” so you can wash off speed without touching the brakes. On twisty single track you can “pedal” around corners (Ed - what other choice do you have?!) A great bonus is that the back end of the bike only slides out a wee

bit, because the wheel can only go as fast as the engine lets it. It’s the same principal that alows a WRX to grip like shit to a blanket, all the wheels are being driven and therfore less likely to “overrun” that is...roll faster than the engine allows (notwithstanding the differential). (Ed - I’ll just run that by Steven Hawkings and I’ll get back to you.)a One of the hardest things ‘bout fixedwheeling is the fact that you can see what your pedal is going to hit on the next revolution (especially tough on off camber root strewn trails such as the section on the side of the Eastern freeway in Melbourne) although a quick slap of reverse will get the pedal off its collision course. Fixed wheeling has helped me to “straighten out” corners via attempting not to ground the pedals mid corner... (Ed - we think he means stearing with the back end) Whilst jumping a fixie is restricted to those with a death wish but, doing a wheelie is almost possible. Just lifting the front wheel over a log is an exercise in stupidity but at least you will impress your freewheeling buddies who take such feats for granted. Other great features of fixed-wheeling are: 1- The ability to apply the brakes when riding no hands, Way cool. 2- Wicked track stands at traffic lights. Again, way cool. 3 - The ability to ride in reverse. Although I don’t have that ability but, someone might. 4 - “roll backs”, that is , chucking it in reverse in the mud and trying to spin the rear wheel backwards. 5 - EVERY downhill is a painful and terrifying experience. Well grasshopper I have saved the best till last. I love my fixed wheel, it’s all that I have ridden for the past 1000ks’. I have established the best reason to ride fixed, it’s all the excuses it gives you . “The reason I am shit uphill is I only got one gear and I am equally shit downhill cause it’s fixed” When riding a fixed wheel one never needs to feel inadequate when one is passed, you have an excuse. In fact any one that cannot pass me is shit. I expect to get passed by

roadies, geared Mountain bikes, old ladies on Hybrids and kids on Bmx bikes. The purpose of this article was to explain fixed wheeling to the masses (I thought I would start with a small mass, the readers of Onemag) and to get people on board. I’ve just realised that if all you bastards go fixed it remove my “advantage”. If every one has the same excuse as me then I have lost my exclusivity in the excuse department. So in summing up, I emplore you to NOT get a fixed wheel, its shit and dangerous and silly “The real victory is being prepared for defeat” - Marcus Walker.

Fixed gear instruction manual: 1. To go forward - pedal forwards 2. To go backwards - pedal backwards 3. To stop - stop pedaling

Have you been dissapointed by other bike shops? Then give us a call and let us dissapoint you properly. look at our specialist skills: *“singlespeed conversions” - yes we can put gears on your bike. *areodynamic hand grips. *“inflatium” (TM) inner tubes and tubeless conversions (we can put tubes in) We only use and reccommend D/A *Biopace chain rings (the latest) track cogs” *SPD thongs *Full range of handlebar baskets, both wire and wicker. *Triathalon socks Have you seen one of these? The lastest in gear shifty things

If you wnat a shop with attitude (albiet a bad one) then come to walkers wheels and remember our company motto “we will never laugh at you while you are in the store” Now piss off and leave me in peas

walkers wheels Shit at advertising, good at bikes 42 Were St. Montmorency 3094 03 9432 2113 email -

oh...we also sell bikes: Avanti, specialized and raleigh



Running repairs on the road...anyone got a pedal?


Th Grunteer Files

Neil setting himself up with a sweet ride after his “real” touring bike was demolished.

GRUNTER INTERVIEWS NEIL DYKES Grunter: So Neil how many K’s did you do? Neil: I did about 600 plus kilometers. Grunter: All on a single speed? Neil: Yep. Grunter: How many mountain passes? Neil: 7-8, something like that, ranging from 15,000 to 18,000 feet. Grunter: What were the road conditions like? Neil: Very, very rough. Mostly rocky gravel roads very rock strewn or if it was tarmac, very patchy, and quite dangerous for me on the descents as I only had rod brakes. Grunter: Explain “Rod” brakes. Neil: Rod brakes simply work by pulling on a steal rod underneath the handlebars very simple but not great. I bought the bike brand new. Grunter: How much did it cost? Neil: 15 pounds. It was a Hero Deluxe brand. He only had 3 in the shop to choose from. Grunter: What happened to the bike after it all? Neil: I just gave it to one of the Tibetan helpers even though it was 6 inches to big for him. Grunter: Other than altitude sickness and the bike what other problems did you endure? Neil: I was there for 7 weeks in total and I was sick for 6 and a half weeks of that! Grunter: What was wrong?

Neil: I just had the screaming shits the whole time! Everyday I would have to stop 6 – 8 times a day and run behind the hedges. I lost 20 lbs while I was there! Grunter: Tell us about your S/S bike. Neil: Well I was forced on it because my other touring bike got smashed while on top of the bus, when the bus hit an overhanging ledge. I was forced to buy this single speed then but I always held this notion that I’d go touring on a single speed, like the real basic thing. Now was the time I guess. So I gave away my lycra and started riding the SS in flip flops and shorts, and I bought this Tibetan waistcoat to keep out the chill. It was a hopeless bike, I’d spend half an hour each morning tightening back up all the nuts and bolts. I had only one adjustment spanner that did everything on the whole bike. The pedal fell apart one time and the wheels buckled so easily but I would smash the buckles out with rocks then jump back on and continue. Its a whole different way of traveling when you’re on a single speed like that. The locals would cheer me on and give me pushes on the climbs and spur me on and they’d ignore the rest of my group on their fancy bikes and gears. They would see me keeping up with them and run alongside me cheering. It’s a hell of a way to travel and very simplistic. Grunter: So which was the hardest climb? Neil: Probably the one where I caught and passed all the Swiss outfit. Grunter: Swiss outfit? Neil: We met these guys on top of a mountain pass one day. They were supported by a Mercedes minibus, something unheard of in those parts. They had these 3000 and 4000 quid bikes and all the gear. I went over to talk to them and they were just a little bit snooty, you know they thought they were something

Himalayas on a Singlespeed special. I tried but I got the feeling I was being snubbed. Grunter: Did you see them again? Neil: Yes, on the following day as we were about to start, the Swiss guys went blowing past. Their was about 10 of them, and I said jokingly to my group, I’ll try and catch those guys on my SS as we were heading up the first pass which was 15,500 feet with 22 hair pins, it just went straight up out of the valley. Grunter: Could you compare it to say, L’Alpe Duez? Neil: Yeah, L’Alpe Duez times 2! It was maybe twice the elevation of L’Alpe Duez, but really, really steep all the way. So I lumbered off on my ”Hero” deluxe and it wasn’t long before I was reeling in the Swiss guys and they were looking down over the hair pins at me. Just like the original Graham Obree single speed kind of style, I soon caught every single Swiss guy. They looked at me kind of demoralized, you know. I got to the top first and waited for my crew. As the Swiss got to the top, they congregated away from me and wouldn’t even look at me. But actually what they didn’t see was when I had to descend and climb yet another climb, I to-

tally went to pieces. I literally had to walk up the last few miles. I barely made it to camp, I had become seriously ill. I was literally on my knees at camp and the Tibetan helpers had to force feed me and give me this herbal tea for altitude sickness. Grunter: Did you see the Swiss again? Neil: Subsequently about 3-4 days later I was actually climbing the highest peak at over 18,500 feet and soon noticed that the Swiss guys were ahead of me on the road the same day. I caught and passed their last guy but he passed me again as the road steepened. When I came around the final bend, there was all the Swiss standing there applauding and cheering me on. So finally I got the kind of respect I deserved. Grunter: Was that the hardest? And how long did it take you? Neil: The 18,000 footer was probably the hardest, but I was mentally prepared that day. It took about 6 hours. Grunter: Did you get any flats? Neil: No actually. I had the foresight to buy a spare when I bought the hero SS. Grunter: What else did you carry? Neil: I had a messenger bag which I carried

my rain jacket, water bottle and spare in it. I wanted to replicate a commuter type ride you know. It would be warm at the bottom and get progressively colder as you’d expect, and it would often be blowing snow at the tops. Grunter: With flip flops, waist coat and no oxygen!, weren’t you riding at a higher level than base camp at Everest? Neil: 1,500 feet higher actually! Grunter: Did your group think you were mad? Neil: Well, I think they thought I was a little

outrageous, perhaps a little cocky! But at times I really just had to get that bike rolling on those arduous conditions. Grunter: Well Neil, we think you’re great. Will we see you racing a single speed soon? Neil: Yeah, I’m looking at it. I love the simplicity of it, I like the idea. Grunter: Will it be an easier challenge for you? Neil: Well yeah, but I don’t think I’ll be doing it on my Indian bike! (laughter). End of interview

I trust you read the sign... and he did it on that bike...holy fuck!


White Industries “Eno” eccentric hub

Reviewing singlespeed hubs is a curious task. What can be said about a machined chunk of aluminium and steel…a lot when it involves White Ind. products. As long as I have known their products the one feature that always sticks in my mind is “shiny”. For any roadies out there I’ll liken them to Campag hubs for finish. A little silver polish and they are returned to new. The “Eno” ( One in reverse) eccentric hub is one of a few “stand alone” products for single speeds, or for that matter, bicycles full stop! It’s not often a company solves a problem that allows a greater number of people to get involved in a sport. Okay…you could argue that Taiwan manufacturing of suspension, disc brakes and barge arse saddles brought MTB to the masses but,..where am I leading…? Well, for example, I have a very prized and coveted Fat Chance Yo Eddy and there is no way I am chopping the dropouts off to covert it to a SS rig but, I would love to ride it as a SS because I love the way it rides. I’m really not sold on the chain tensioner option. Then…along came the Eno. Straight onto the back of my Yo Eddy. How did I fit a singlespeed hub onto my vertical dropout bike? Well…if any of you are familiar with tandems then you will know that the second crank set uses an eccentric bottom bracket to tension the chain. “A what” you ask? How it works is by rotating an offset bottom bracket to change the distance between the front and rear crank sets. The Eno works in the same manner by changing the distance between the crank set and the hub. The design is so simple I am wondering why it took so long to dream up. The story actually goes like this- this guy named Eric phoned up or emailed or wrote to White Ind. and suggested the idea. They thought about it and figured out how to make it work and… bang, here we are. Eric even gets a credit on the hub – “Eric’s eccentric singlespeed hub”. The design is almost too simple. All you

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heheee it goes clickity clickety click when this goes bac kwards. have to do is place the axle into your dropouts, pull back on the wheel to tighten the chain and then do up the 6mm allen bolts and you’re off. It was so simple that I had to consult Dan from Shifter Bikes (the Aussie importer) and ask if there was something more. Nope, that’s it. Holy shit. Way cool! So, what happens when you pull back on the wheel is that the offset axle spins within the hub and allows the wheel to move back and forth and tighten the chain. Simple, eh? Love it! The Tech stuff: The hub is a shiny, hand polished, 1-piece, Made In USA silver 6061 T-6 aluminium. With a super strong axle, available in 126mm, 130mm and 135mm. The bearings are your better than average “enduro” type (6903-2RS if you must know) and are butter smooth- never felt anything quite as smooth except,again a Campy hub. Can’t come up with any other praise so now you have to figure it for yourself and get one, that is if you have an old (or new) vertical dropout bike that would make a nice SS rig.




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‘04 Aussie Champs in ‘05?

Extreme Dean O’Niel at the ‘03 Castlemaine event - the tester for the Worlds course. First it was Mt Beauty in 2001 then Anglesea in 2002. 2003 saw Castlemaine host the Nats as a precursor to SSWC’03. Now after much anticipation, much speculation, deliberation and procrastination “It’s ON!” Yep the ‘04 Aussie Single speed Championships venue has been announced. No delegates were bribed or taken out on the piss, no controversial “irregularities” were uncovered during the selection process. It all got sorted in an orderly and sensible manner. The more greographically observant amongst you will have noticed that all the previous SS Nationals have been held in Victoria. In an effort to share it around and make it easier for s-speeders living in far off places like Gippsland, Bairnsdale, Moe and even Lakes Entrance the ‘04 event will be held in... wait for it... Upper Beaconsfield a good 70-80 k’s east of Melbourne. The date is set for February 5th and 6th and whilst technically not actually in 2004 it most definitley will be the ‘04 Champs.The event (not to be missed) will

be held at Dallas Brookes Scout camp in the afore mentioned Upper B. Melways reference 210 F10 If previous Aussie SS Titles are anything to go by you will want to set aside a few days to camp and hang out to soak up the vibe. Little is known about the specifics of the event but we can tell you that it will feature some if not all (or perhaps none?) of the following. 7k’s of choice, flowing and challenging terrain. Trees, rocks and dirt. River crossings, Road gaps and a Northshore style BBQ as well as a bridge on the course that is held together by packing tape. There’s also been talk of some slippery black pipes, Shits and giggles, camping and a strict no nudity policy will be in force. Other important details are 12pm race start on the Sunday ...oh yeah theres a BBQ all day saturday, BYO Food, drinks,BBQ, sliced processed cheese, loose and friendly attitude and tomatoe sauce. Entry will be on the day or even the day before, be sure to give your money to someone official looking (ask for i.d) The race duration will be quite long if you are slow and not very good (or just plain enjoying yourself) but quite short if you are really quick. Did I mention there will be a DJ at the BBQ on saturday? No?, well there will be. Should be quite good fun. There will be the odd prize or two and a presentation ceremony of sorts after the race. Champions will be crowned - Beers will be downed and then we will all clean up and go home. Oh yeah...there’s going to be Karaoke as well but keep it down as its a semi-rural residential area. As always dress to impress...

The ‘01 winner - Josh Street on his Ti special


ims mutton chop r erty j evie k c w li

s . . c. s . A espeed champ ions ian singl hip tral s aus


the man with no shame! Shaggy speaks to shunter about his heritage and his penis...two topics we know very little about - and would’ve prefered to keep it that way.


Don’t Ask! I’m not gay... Just cute!

Shunter; The wheels are turning so it must be working alright? Oh umm I’m standing here with one of the elite few who went completely naked at the 2004 Single-speed world championships...What’s your name? Shaggy; I’m err Shaggy Shunter; You are from? Shaggy; I’m living in Bristol, England at the moment. Shunter; Are you from there originally or did you move there? Shaggy; I’m a Scot. Shunter; You’re a Scot? That would explain the Scottish accent. Shaggy; (Confused, as he doesn’t have one) Well not so much, no. Shunter; Anyway...So was this a premeditated plan, did you sit down last night and think about the race and think alright I’m gonna go nude. Or, you just felt the urge and did it? Shaggy; Ooh, No..errrr I realized about 2 seconds into the race that I wasn’t gonna win and just couldn’t be arsed really. I went for the moral victory. Shunter; Have you ridden naked before? Shaggy; I rode a naked half-lap at the Worlds in Wales Shunter; Ok… Shaggy; ...and a few times just for fun. Shunter; Alright this is a regular thing for you then, its not like it’s the first time…. you’ve been practicing? Shaggy; Yeah, yeah, The trainings actually been quite intensive. There’s not that many nudist riders around. Shunter; Are you faster when you are naked? Shaggy; There’s this whole funny thing with hairy backs and stuff Shunter; Uhuh Shaggy; …you get these vorticee’s (plural of vortex?) that hang onto your skin Shunter; Yeah Shaggy; ...that actually reduce the friction so it’s like umm Shunter; Yep Shaggy; I think I want to have the quote “How can you win if you’re not showing skin” in there.

Shunter; Well you just said it so it’ll go in. Let me run an observation by you... I’ve been to a few Single speed events where people go naked. And please don’t infer any negative connotations by this at all, but I’ve noticed that those who go naked have, usually, some sort of extreme physical feature. Like extreme hairy-ness or extremely pale skin or some sort of distinguishing feature that makes riding naked all the more noticeable. What’s your most outstanding feature when you are naked? Shaggy; My Penis, definitely. Shunter; Alright… well there’s no beating around the bush there, alright umm terrific. So umm where’s your next race? Shaggy; We’ve got ahhh the Euros in Aviemore Shunter; Are you planning to go naked there, it’s a bit colder? Shaggy; No the Cold, its going to look all shriveled. Shunter; That was gonna be my next question, does the temperature dictate whether or not you go naked are you worried about it being unflattering? Shaggy; The thing is at the moment I am more about err more is less. So like I got a nice pair of denim tights and stuff and its kinda better than naked I reckon but I didn’t bring’em with me. Shunter; Ok last question, you mentioned earlier that your training had been rather intensive for going naked. What training exactly? Shaggy; Well its like going to department stores and umm into the changing rooms with a coat hanger and err try it on infront of the mirror... Shunter; (Wishing I hadn’t asked that question)OK umm, I see (not really) alright... that’s good.




Road Test - Giant

Words - Todd W. Pics - Dave C. Clothing by - Todd’s Todd taking a blind corner like it should be speed and with his eyes closed. pic - Dave C. Mum.

When I first heard that Giant were producing a

singlespeed frame I knew that our “rebel” sport was now going main stream. There’s no denying that when one of the industries biggest players bothers with our little corner of the bike market that it is no longer “underground”. Is this bad? Some will think so but, I think it’s okay. All it really means is potentially more people enjoying the S-S sport, the glass is always half full for me. The Melbourne trade show was the first opportunity I had to check out the “Two-2-One” as a built bike. From a distance it looks like any other Giant XTC and for the most part it is. Hydro-formed super sized Aluxx SL butted alloy tube-set, integrated headset and wish-


bone stays are all there. A quick inspection of the back end reveals the horizontal dropouts, turning the popular XTC geared frame(?) into a SS rig. Giant have put some thought into this. The dropouts (technically they are slide-ins) are extremely beefy and look like they could handle repeated heavy hits. The “pull back” chain tensioners are quite unique, at least to me. They feature a single bolt which pushes against an alloy insert resting against the dropouts. This means quicker adjustment than a two bolt option and no marks on the frame. Our Demo rig ran the very nice Avid Juicy 5 discs but the frame does come with a set of tensioners for cantilever brakes. I must admit, as functional as the disc mount is with its bolt on stabilizing arm, I felt it was a bit ugly. In the end, disc capability on a

horizontal drop out is a good thing and with the added bonus of easy chain adjustment I’m not complaining at all. As for the bikes performance…no more delays. I spent a good 5 hours on the trails at the new You -Yangs MTB Park with Dave running around taking pics. That session and an additional week of commuting left me quite satisfied with what Giant have put together. Yes, the quality running gear helps: Fox forks; Woodman hubs; Giant’s propriety bars, stem and carbon post; SDG cowhide saddle; Mavic rims; Avid Juicy 5 discs; Truvativ cranks and BB and lock-on grips. The final built up weight was lighter than I expected and the handing is very stable with plenty of rigidity in the frame to make the Two-2-One a good quick climber. I found myself “popping” into the air over every hump or rise. I am 5’10” (175cm) and the 19” frame size is a size up from what I usually get around on. With a 110mm stem the longer frame (than what I normally ride) flowed through the single track very well and even allowed me to leave the ground with some confidence. In the tighter track the light

frame allowed easy manouverablity over roots and rocks. Over all I would say the 19” was a pretty good fit for my size. To wrap up…what Giant have made is a light weight, affordable singlespeed. It might not have ‘cult’ status but, it does ride fast and solid and makes building a single speed with an alloy frame very affordable. The Two-2-One will only be available as a frame (including headfittings & Disc adaptor) and just like a model T Ford comes in whatever colour you want so long as its black. Price? Well an exact price was not available when we went to print but expect to pay well under a grand (AUD)for this light weight baby.

Shootin’ the Breeze Should we really thank him for the Hite-rite?

The Grunter Files

Grunter chats to Joe Breeze, one of the legends of the sport.

Grunter: Have you enjoyed the SSWC’04? Breeze: Absolutely, Its been a lot of fun and a great event. Its an event...and a sport, that has a wide... um...”scope” of different competitors and characters. Definitely a lot of fun...and it was a well run event! Grunter: And how did you fare in the race? Breeze: Well I rode a borrowed Breezer which was lent to me by a guy here (in Berlin). It was a very nice ride and set up with a few extras on it. It felt great and the course was a lot of fun. I just cruised the course and enjoyed the support and the cheers. Grunter: Tell us a bit about your political career? Breeze: (Smiling) Well...yes, well I travel a lot to Washington lobbying for better cycling facilities and support. It’s something I feel strongly about and enjoy pushing my views forward on the future of all forms of cycling, the environment and trail protection. It gets me out of the office for a few days here and there and I love the challenges involved. Grunter: Please tell our readers about your favorite invention. Breeze: (Laughing) Ah……that would have to be the Hite-Rite. Grunter: (trying to sound intelligent) Is that the


Breeze and Angle height-right? Breeze: Actually the Breeze and “Angell” (like in heaven), Angell was my business partner at the time. It was something we produced and sold about 200,000 of. It enabled me to buy a new house and a car and live a little easier at the time. (Still laughing) Ah, yes it was a fun project, something that strangely enough took off. Grunter: What do you think of Singlespeeding? Breeze: It’s great!! Hmmmm really good. Grunter: Are you surprised to see it so popular after years of hi-tech inventions and the overall popularity of

Mountain biking ? Breeze: Yes I am a little surprised I guess, after seeing how popular this SSWC’04 event has been. And then No, as you have so many different people from fine athletes to everyday commuters enjoying their own challenges and riding style and just expressing themselves. They are all here to have fun and challenge their own levels. It’s great to see. Grunter: So when we will see Joe Breeze pulling out the old bikes from 30 years ago? Breeze: Oh No, they can stay there. Those things weigh 35 pounds! These singlespeeds are a lot better than what we were playing around on then. Grunter: Will we see you at the SSWC’05 next year? Breeze: Yes well they will be in my country and a lot closer but…No. It’s too close for me. I’d like to travel somewhere new and different. So perhaps not, well see, I’d like to. (I think he means definitely maybe?) Grunter: Joe thanks very much for talking to us @ ONEMag JB; It’s my pleasure, I love what you guys are doing. Grunter: Are you leaving for the states now? Breeze: No, actually I have some friends picking me up now. They have promised to show me the best singletrack in the world. Grunter: I bet you’ve heard that a lot! (Interview interrupted by Phaty here) “Hey Joe your friends are here!, Oh sorry you are doing an interview … out Joe this guy is a real pervert!!! But I want him to give me a tongue kiss and hug later” Breeze: Well yes, I do hear it a lot and I’d like to keep hearing it. There is so much more riding for me to in my life time. Ironically a guy once told me 20 years ago that he would show me the best trails ever and he took me to Moab! Grunter: So Moab is the pick? Breeze: I still have plenty more riding to do, we’ll see. Bye!


This is Matt from Chelmer Cycles quite funny, he was drunk as.

Grunter: Talking to matt, where are u from? MATT: Not from Essex! I am doing a track stand and I am fucking pissed.!! Grunter: I saw you in Berlin, and I saw you here at the euros, what was the main difference? MATT: The course fucking rocks here! Grunter: it did? MATT: Yeah it was good, that’s it really. But, the drinking wasn’t as hard. Grunter: What about the drugs? MATT: The weed is better here in the uk! Grunter: Is that a part of your preparation? tell us how you get fit for a singlespeed race!? MATT: You need to build up your drinking, you know, steadily. Maybe a few more units everyday so that in the morning of the race it isn’t so harsh and smoking, well just keep


Th Grunteer Files

that steady really but I don’t do class A drugs anymore. Grunter: What’s your view on performance enhancing drugs? MATT: I am not here to throw a fucking shot put, I am here to drink and party and ride my fucking single speed!! Grunter: I noticed after this race that you were enjoying a flask of whiskey and a joint, was that for recovery? MATT: Yeah, well its the after ride breakfast of champions really. its good for your muscles. Its like doing some pilates! Grunter: Anything else you do before a big race? sex? MATT: Yeah, I had sex on Thursday night!! Grunter: Was that with a strange animal? MATT: She wouldn’t like to be called that! Grunter: You were the crowd pleaser in the midnight derby last night. MATT: Thank you! Grunter: You were the last one standing... and you were probably the drunkest! MATT: Yeah, no, yeah I was!! Grunter: So you went into the derby with a handicap being drunk? MATT: No no that’s not a handicap is sit!? it gives you the confidence to fucking stave into people on your bike. If you werent drunk, you would say that your wrist and arm isn’t going to work today. Grunter: Are you injured today then, can you still use your wrist. MATT: I wont be able to do the women’s nail varnish hand trick, that wouldn’t work at the moment! Grunter: Thanks for talking to us matt MATT: I think I am still fucking drunk!

OnOne Fixie hub - ridden and reviewed

The first day on this hub and I was convinced I would never ride fixed gear again. With no practise I hit the road to commute to the office and boy was I in for a challenge. Respect! Respect! Never again will I look at a fixed gear rider as a freak... well maybe. There are just so many things you can’t do on a fixed that you can on a freewheel bike. Like bunny hop up curbs, WHOA SHIT! Turn tight and hard around corners, WHOA SHIT! Race a tram downhill to squeeze past before the parked car, WHOA SHIT? Taking it easy is not par for the course. Everything needs to be planned in advance. You need escape routes planned if you plan to ride in traffic like I did, Whoa shit! One week later...I was finally getting the hang of it. The biggest challenge is slowing down in a hurry. I was getting the whole idea of the foot-brake. Push backwards on the back pedal and pull up on the front at the same time, with a little lean to the front, and the rear wheel locks. Locking up the rear wheel doesn’t slow you down very effectively but if you reach that point in the technique and can vary your “leg” braking power you can slow down fast (without

Don’t stop pedaling

locking up). A front brake will help out a lot... just ignore the banter from those “hardcore” fixed riders who think brakes are for pussies. I don’t think you are a pussy or else I would be one too. Now...I need to get back to the hub, after all that is what I am supposed to write about. If you want to hear more about fixed riding then check out Marcus’s story, what a loony. OnOne have added a nice all black alloy hub to their already large line of SS product. You can almost kit your bike completely with all OnOne product if that tickles your fancy. What makes this hub so unique? Well for those of us in “Ozland” there are very few options if you want a fixie hub. Sure you can ride a track bike but, if you want 135mm axles OnOne offers one ready to go, available in 32 hole only. I was handed a complete il Pompino with knobby cyclecross tyres for my city commute - talk about adding more challenge to my daily ride. The hub uses a steel axle with track nuts and an anodized black alloy body which is double fixed. This means you can run a different sized cog on either side and just flip the wheel around to use a different gear. I suppose you could actually srew a whole series of cogs onto a hub and then run a complicated series of pulleys, levers and cables to change gear ratios whilst riding along but that’d just be silly. Price is ‘bout $140.00 according to James...very reasonable For OZ riders contact James @ OnOne 03 9431 5844 or 65

CIAO, Vancouver

International photographer and budding courier, Andy White, has set his sights on expanding the acclaimed “Ciao” project. Andy began Ciao in Melbourne, Australia and has been spending the past six months in Vancouver. The project is based on capturing interesting women posing on his hot red fixed gear road bike, (we think it’s just an excuse to talk to girls). He is currently couriering in San Fran on all those bloody big hills. Andy graciously provided us with this sampling of his work to share with One Mag readers. Check out the complete show on <>.


One Magazine issue #2  

The world's smallest cycling magazine hits the web. One mag in a friendly A6 sized format - out from the archives and on the road with Shunt...

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