FAMILYLIFE ents are statistically more hesitant to get married, and of those that do, only 60 per cent stay married — talk about discouraging — as opposed to the 91 per cent from intact marriages. Even worse, research also indicates the issues and fundamental behaviors responsible for the demise of a marriage are passed on to our children. In essence, we inherit brokenness and then pass it on to the next generation. You see, us kids of divorced parents have difficulty in the marriage department for more reasons than one, and it can be easily justified why our relationships sometimes crumble under the weight of the hurt and pain we carry around. Not to mention that our own conflict resolution skills may be underdeveloped because we've rarely seen a
I believe in a God who loves me more than I could ever imagine and promises to accompany us in the union He designed for our benefit. He never said it would be easy (quite the contrary actually), and the bulk of the work does rest on our shoulders, but it is possible to change our fate. Our story is still being written. Just because we come from broken families doesn’t mean we can’t have happy, whole
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Just because we come from broken families doesn’t mean we can’t have happy, whole relationships. If anything, we owe it to ourselves, and our children, to give it the best we’ve got. good model. But I refuse to become a dreary statistic. Instead, I would like to make sure my own kids are among the more optimistic 91 per cent. It’s definitely a solid reason to do all I can in my own marriage for the sake of theirs. Twenty years ago I may have been a naïve punk kid who made a statement that rocked the boat, but today I still believe it to be true. We are getting smarter, we do have more resources and the capabilities to become better parents — or at the very least more educated ones. But “smarts” will only get us so far. It’s what we do that counts. We need to be conscious of the behaviours we are passing on to future generations and if we don’t know how to do something, it’s our responsibility to find out, get help, and support one another. My husband and I have been married for 13 years and we realize we will always be on a quest to build, maintain, and occasionally repair our relationship. That’s just how life is, forever changing, often uncertain, and with no guarantees. But thankfully we don’t have to go it alone.
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relationships. If anything, we owe it to ourselves, and our children, to give it the best we’ve got. And every now and then we should let our inner punk kid speak up and give us some advice, because sometimes it can be pretty wise.
Lisa Pike is the Associate Director of Marketing and Communications for FamilyLife Canada and lives in Abbotsford, B.C. with her husband and three children. She is passionate about encouraging families through helpful and practical resources. Lisa has been touched by the lives that have been changed during FamilyLife Canada’s Weekend to Remember marriage retreats. For more information about FamilyLife Canada, please visit familylifecanada.com.
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