Thin Blue Smoke Doug Worgul
a novel about music, food, and love
A division of Samizdat Publishing Group, LLC
Conundrum Press is a division of Samizdat Publishing Group, LLC. PO Box 1353, Golden, Colorado 80402 http://conundrum-press.com Thin Blue Smoke. Text copyright ©2012 by Doug Worgul. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information, email info@conundrum-press.com. Conundrum Press books may be purchased with bulk discounts for educational, business, or sales promotional use. ISBN: 978-1-942280-11-8 Library of Congress Control Number: 2014958612 Author photo: Lindsey Worgul Hinderer Creative team: Caleb Seeling and Jordan Green This book is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organizations, or locales are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity and are used fictitiously. All other characters, and all incidents and dialogue are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. “Mona Lisa” is reproduced by permission of Sony/ATV Music Publishing Lyrics by Ray Evans, Ray Livingstone © 1949 Sony/ATV Music Publishing All rights reserved
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aVerne Williams was born and raised in Plum Grove, Texas, north of Houston. Like all Texans he is inordinately proud to be a Texan, as if it is somehow a crowning achievement, not a simple accident of birth. So when LaVerne first got the idea to bottle and sell his barbecue sauce, which was well before the Morty Pavlich incident, he wanted to call it “LaVerne Williams’s Genuine TexiKan BBQ Sauce”. “It combines ‘Texas’ and ‘Kansas City’,” he said, explaining his idea to A.B. “And it sounds like the word ‘Mexican’. TexiKan. Mexican.” A.B. looked at his boss, expecting further explanation. When none was offered, A.B. nodded vigorously and told LaVerne it was a great name for a barbecue sauce. LaVerne took his idea, along with A.B.’s endorsement, to Angela. “TexiKan is not a word,” she said. She was quite sure LaVerne already knew this but thought a reminder might help. “I know it’s not a word,” he said. “We’ll make it a word. It combines ‘Texas’ and ‘Kansas City’. It’s the best of both worlds. The best of Texas barbecue and Kansas City barbecue in one bottle.
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And it sounds like Mexican.” “Will the sauce be Mexican?” asked Angela. LaVerne was exasperated with his wife’s failure to perceive the cleverness and marketing savvy of the TexiKan concept and concluded that he needed to explain it a few more times. “No, the sauce won’t be Mexican. It’ll be TexiKan,” LaVerne said with exaggerated patience. “It’ll be Texas and Kansas City.” “But LaVerne,” said Angela. “You’ve never promoted your sauce or your barbecue as having anything to do with Texas. We don’t have any signs in the restaurant saying ‘We serve genuine Texas barbecue.’ None of your customers even know you’re from Texas. If you start selling sauce that’s TexiKan, people won’t know what that means. It’ll just confuse people.” “But everybody knows Texas barbecue is the best,” LaVerne said, as if the point was so obvious it hardly need be made. “Well, that’s just silly,” Angela laughed derisively. Angela was born and raised in Kansas City. “There’s not a single person in this town, not a one, who would agree with you on that. Kansas City is the barbecue capital. And in case you’ve forgotten, our restaurant is in Kansas City, not Texas. TexiKan is a horrible name for a barbecue sauce. Especially if you want people in Kansas City to buy it.” LaVerne always got mad when Angela was right and he was wrong, a circumstance that was all too common as far as he was concerned. He grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and stomped out of the house slamming the door behind him.
If Angela Newton had known the specifics of what “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health” actually meant in the case of her marriage to LaVerne Williams she might have reconsidered marrying him. Loving LaVerne had been easy. Living with him had only recently become, if not exactly easy, at least less difficult.
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Thin Blue Smoke
The marriage got off to a bad start. Angela’s father, the Rev. Dr. Clarence E. Newton, senior pastor of New Jerusalem Baptist Church, strongly disapproved of LaVerne, who he felt had an unsavory past and a questionable future. Both of Angela’s older brothers had gone into the ministry and, without ever expressly saying so, it was expected that Angela would marry a minister, which LaVerne definitely was not. Angela’s mother, Alberta H. Newton, was only a little more accepting of LaVerne, but this was more strategic than heartfelt on her part. Mrs. Newton feared she would incite her strong-willed daughter to all-out rebellion if she joined her husband in opposing LaVerne. LaVerne naturally resented his in-laws negativity towards him and rightly felt that it undermined his relationship with Angela. Things improved slightly in late 1966 when the Athletics offered LaVerne a contract. The Rev. Dr. Newton was a dedicated fan and learned scholar of baseball and it was hard to deny that his son-in-law was a talented ballplayer. However, when LaVerne blew out his shoulder in spring training in 1968, and was subsequently waived by the Athletics, Rev. Newton’s support began to wane. It further eroded when LaVerne stopped attending church services and his moods darkened. Angela, however, did not love LaVerne because he was a baseball player or even because he went to church. She didn’t really care that much about baseball. Angela loved LaVerne for what he was, a sweet and soulful man. She loves him still for the same reasons. And when LaVerne had finished his beer and came sulking back into the house she reminded him of that. “I love you LaVerne. There’s nothing you can say or do that will ever change that. But TexiKan is a lame-ass idea. And there’s nothing you can say or do that will ever change that.”
A Night at the Y Stories by Robert Garner McBrearty 978-1-942280-02-6
Wild, funny, touching, and full of crackling dialogue, Robert Garner McBrearty’s stories turn the intensity of life up a notch, creating a heightened reality that is both hilarious and heartbreakingly real. His characters struggle to hold onto work, love, and sanity, and wrestle with the choice of whether to be responsible citizens and family men or heroic hellraisers who run with the bulls.
Glassmusic A novel by Rebecca Snow 978-1-942280-01-9
In the serene fjordlands of Norway in the early twentieth century, Ingrid has led a blissful childhood until she becomes holder of her family’s secrets. Her father, a blind preacher who ministers through sacred music played on glassware, increasingly relies on Ingrid to see for him even as it threatens to tear apart his marriage. And after she witnesses an assault against her sister, Ingrid must decide when to speak and when to remain silent. Glassmusic explores the sometimes devastating realities of loyalty and jealousy, with philosophy, music, and love serving as guides.
First Church of the Higher Elevations Mountains, Prayer and Presence by Peter Anderson 978-1-942280-17-0 In these contemplative essays written for seekers and adventurers, Peter Anderson explores the scripture of place, the topography of memory, and the landscape of the imagination. “As it was for John Muir, the world is, for Peter, sacramental.” –David Romtvedt—Wyoming Poet Laureate (2005-2011)“ ...eclectically and profoundly American.” —Gregory Wolfe, editor, Image Journal
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The inaugural volume of the
Rocky Mountain Poetry Series!
Wake Up, Sleepwalker Poetry by Sigman Byrd 978-1-942280-03-3
“This is a brilliant, wonderful book with provocative insights on every page and new language for the heady, raw experience of being alive. Sigman Byrd is more than accomplished. He is simply splendid, and these poems are nourishment for the ‘smoky crevices of the heart.’” —Joe David Bellamy, author of Green Freedom
Order these and other award-winning books at conundrum-press.com Active Gods Poetry by Michael J. Henry 978-1-938633-44-7
“I love the atmosphere of Henry’s poems, the feeling of them tilting on the edge of something. On one side: a plainspoken everyman. On the other side: a man of complex feelings and thoughts, a man who notices things about the world and its inhabitants that both delight us and break our hearts. This is what good poets do: take us to places we recognize, but through a different lens or through a new door.” —Thomas Lux, author of Child Made of Sand