Connextions Magazine - Issue 4 - MA

AUG 2011 Issue #4

7 Reasons LGBT FamiliesRock Canada’s New Gay Getaway

Domestic Violence The Unspoken Truth

Massachusetts

Melissa Ferrick “Still Right Here”

THE

HUMAN

ORGANIZATION TRANSGENDER

RIGHTS

CAMPAIGN

WORKING EQUALITY.

TO BY

IS

AMERICA’S

ACHIEVE INSPIRING

LESBIAN, AND

LARGEST

CIVIL

GAY,

BISEXUAL

ENGAGING

ALL

RIGHTS AND

AMERICANS,

HRC STRIVES TO END DISCRIMINATION AGAINST LGBT CITIZENS AND REALIZE A NATION THAT ACHIEVES FUNDAMENTAL FAIRNESS AND EQUALITY FOR ALL.

HRC SEEKS TO IMPROVE THE LIVES OF LGBT AMERICANS BY ADVOCATING FOR EQUAL RIGHTS AND BENEFITS IN THE WORKPLACE, ENSURING FAMILIES ARE TREATED EQUALLY UNDER THE LAW, AND INCREASING PUBLIC SUPPORT AMONG ALL AMERICANS THROUGH INNOVATIVE ADVOCACY, EDUCATION AND OUTREACH PROGRAMS. HRC WORKS TO SECURE EQUAL RIGHTS FOR LGBT INDIVIDUALS AND FAMILIES AT THE FEDERAL AND STATE LEVELS BY LOBBYING ELECTED OFFICIALS, MOBILIZING GRASSROOTS SUPPORTERS, EDUCATING AMERICANS, INVESTING STRATEGICALLY TO ELECT FAIR-MINDED OFFICIALS AND PARTNERING WITH OTHER LGBT ORGANIZATIONS. WWW.HRC.ORG

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CONTRIBUTORS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Shelly Straub ART DIRECTOR Lucia Camarda ADVERTISING Bernadette Maher (315) 380-6883 CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Kim Camarda Carlos Melia Briana Rose Foisia Deb Lindsey D Reed Tony Scarlatta James Ian Morgan KMT Photography CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Christopher de la Torre Rick Clemons Kelly Truman Paula Malecki Sebastian Reynolds Dean Munroe Sung Won Park Carlos Melia John Borges, L.M.P. Abigail Rome Read Connextions Magazine online or purchase your print edition through our website at:

www.connextionsmagazine.com WRITE TO US: Do you have a question or comment regarding this issue or future issues of Connextions Magazine?

We would love to hear from you! Email responses, press releases and future event listings are always welcomed... shelly@connextionsmagazine.com All submissions become the property of Connextions Magazine.

The views and opinions stated throughout this magazine are not necessarily the opinions of staff at Connextions Magazine.

Connextions Magazine publishing office is located at 8601 Tartan Drive North, Cicero, New York 13039. Connextions Magazine will not knowingly publish or advertise text which is fraudulent or misleading.

The publisher reserves the right to edit, limit, revise, or reject any text without cause. Connextions Magazine assumes no financial responsibility for typographical errors. If any errors are found, please notify Connextions Magazine immediately.

Materials in this publication may not be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

ISSN 2160-4347 (print) ISSN 2160-4355 (online)

from the editor

I

t brings joy to my heart, peace to my mind and serenity to my soul, knowing that my home state of New York has finally won the battle in the fight for marriage equality. It’s interesting that the same-sex marriage bill has passed in New York, while we are working on the next featured state of Massachusetts, which was the very first state in our nation to legalize marriage between homosexual partners.

During our travels to “The Bay State,” we learned much more about American History while walking the Freedom Trail in Boston than I ever remember from College or Grade school… then again, that was quite a long time ago. We also made some interesting new friends, such as Lance Swank (pg. 20) and Melissa Ferrick (pg. 38). Melissa shares a few favorite hot-spots in Harvard Square:

Club Passim For more than 50 years, Club Passim has been known as a premier listening room presenting new and established performers of genres ranging from folk and acoustic to jazz, and everything in between. The historic music venue presents over 400 shows per year to an audience of over 30,000. www.passim.org Border Café Although a chain restaurant at present, the original Border Café opened its doors in 1987 on a cozy corner in the heart of Harvard Square. www.bordercafe.com Lizzy’s Homemade Ice cream Founded by Nick Pappas in 1995, this little ice cream shop packs some serious flavor!

Originally located in Harvard Sqare, Lizzy’s has a location in Needham and Waltham as well. http://www.lizzysicecream.com Special features in this issue bring you an up-close and personal look at LGBT families and parenting, as well as the unspoken truth about domestic violence in our community. We’ve also taken you from the North (Prince Edward County in Canada) to the South (Cozumel Mexico) for some interesting gay travel experiences! Carlos Melia takes you on a packed day of adventure to Buenos Aires on page 32. Make sure to check out the H20 Six Flags Gay Water Park Party advertisement on pg. 19 for your chance to win free tickets!

Thanks so much for taking the time to browse the pages of Connextions Magazine! Your comments and feedback are always welcome, along with new subscribers, twitter and facebook friends… so feel free to show your support by passing the word.

We look forward to connecting with you in Issue 5, which (as voted by our readers) will feature Ohio!

Shelly Shelly Straub

We hope you enjoy playing our game of hide and seek! We have more fun for you in this issue as well… find the 3 hidden state symbols on the cover. If you need hints, logon to our facebook page and click the ‘discussions’ tab.

FEATURES

8 Parenthood

7 Reasons LGBT Families Rock!

August 2011 Issue #4 Massachusetts

10 Domestic Violence

Commonplace in the LGBT Community

12 Co-founder of Manhunt

Jonathan Crutchley’s Exclusive Mansion

14 Mr. Gay Canada Rob Goddard

28 Prince Edward County

A Gay & Lesbian Getaway in Canada

29 The Friendship Train

Sissy Sammy in the Land of WeHo 90069

30 The Gaydy Bunch

2 Moms, 5 Kids and a Cat

34 Paradise Found

Saying Goodbye to Corporate America

36 Believe Out Loud

Christians Campaign for LGBT Equality

38 Melissa Ferrick

Still Writing, Still Singing

Melissa Ferrick

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DEPARTMENTS

16 Wedding Feature Abigail & Eileen

18 The Serenity of Song The Humback Whale

20 Featured Accommodation Swank Properties

24 Area of Attraction Massachusetts

32 Chronicles of a Gay Traveler Carlos Melia visits Buenos Aires

40 Website Highlights Connextions Picks

42 Editorial Calendar 44 Focus on Health Massage Therapy

46 Professional Directory

August 2011 Issue #4 Massachusetts

e Coll r e i l a Chev

4 pg n c t io

0

Parenthood…

It’s not just for heterosexuals anymore!

by Rick Clemons photo courtesy DReed

Regardless of how you became a gay parent – adoption, artificial insemination, biologically – you have probably heard the naysayers spouting off, “Children raised by gays and lesbians isn’t normal.”

I’m not going to argue this point right now. Instead, I’m going to call their bluff with my list of “7 Reasons LGBT Families Rock!”

“7 Reasons LGBT

Families Rock!”

We really love our kids! Typically there are no ‘accidents’ when it comes to LGBT families having children. All the effort we put into adopting, fostering, inseminating, and the like…to have a child, really makes for determined parents! We don’t get the luxury of “slam, bam, thank you ma’am...and hello baby!”

LGBT Parents are cool like iPAD’s...at least at my daughter’s high school. Ok, maybe that’s a stretch, but the truth is, LGBT parents are here to stay, becoming cooler every day, and never go out of style or need upgrading!

Our children benefit from the stereotypes. Seriously...what more could a kid want? Gay dads to deck you out for the prom in the latest fashion, hair and make-up and then deliver you in style in a tricked out limo that their lesbian friends rebuilt. Sounds sweet to me!

We wear our pride! We might fly a rainbow flag outside but we also wear our pride in our hearts and voices and are not afraid to say who we are. Why? Because we believe in our family and that’s all we need.

We're multi-lingual! Not only do children raised in LGBT families learn French, Japanese, or Spanish in school, at home they are taught to speak tolerance.

Not just words...We teach “Love is love.” Most LGBT families teach this guiding principle for loving without boundaries. It’s a beautiful gift to give children, which they then pass on, and so on and so on and so on!

Full-out living. Many children usually learn the value of living your truth ‘full out’ when a parent comes out of the closet. This usually serves as a positive expression, except when the gay dad experience the diva snap from your child the first time...then you might want to reconsider how ‘full out’ you are in front of your child!

Bottom-line...being an LGBT Parent is just plain cool. Having an LGBT parent is even cooler! But being a family is the BOMB! Welcome to parenthood…the ultimate thrill ride!

Whether you are consciously choosing to become parents, or someone brought kids into your life, LGBT parent coaching is designed to help you and your tribe create a really cool, supportive, and healthy family nest. Built with your talents and aligned with your passion to thrive as a parent.

Rick Clemons, The Coming Out Coach, is a Certified Professional Coach who’s thrilled to work with members of the LGBT Community and their families to ignite their love and appreciation for who they are and the uniqueness they bring to the world. Specializing in the “coming out” process, same-sex relationships, and LGBT parenting, Rick opens up the closet doors that hold individuals back from playing ‘full-out’ in their lives. Blogger, columnist, speaker, coach and proud Father of two teen girls, Rick resides with his partner in Riverside, California. Learn more about Coming Out Coach Rick at www.lifeincognito.com.

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busive relationships and domestic violence are unfortunately commonplace within the LGBT community, but why are we not discussing it? I am a survivor of domestic violence and the sad fact is that estimates indicate 35%-50% of lesbians will find themselves a victim of domestic abuse or violence at some point in their lives.

Domestic abuse and violence inside the LGBT community is real and does happen. It is hard to get an accurate count of how many actual incidents of abuse exist since many never report it to the authorities. I did not. An equal number of lesbians never discuss the topic even among friends. I did not.

After I ended my abusive relationship, I decided to detail my story in hopes of helping others realize they are not alone. I often felt that I was the only one this ever happened to and others couldn’t possibly understand. As with most abusive relationships; the abuser relishes in the alienation and manipulation to the point the abused will start to believe it is their fault. Any episode of domestic violence is an act of power and control. There may be minor incidents such as yelling, putting you down verbally, or even throwing small items at a wall or punching a door.

You may become aware, as I did, of what is coming next and attempt to prolong the tension-building phase by appeasing her or staying out of her way. This stage could continue for weeks or months. You may think that you are helping your partner and things are getting better. You are not helping your partner or yourself. Instead, you are enabling the behavior. This is not the answer. You will never be ‘good’ enough to prevent the outburst. Abusive behavior has nothing to do with you at all.

A Beautiful Mess: Confessions from the Second Closet is a book written by Kelly Truman, which takes the reader inside the belly of the beast. It is a memoir that takes readers on a journey into domestic violence and abuse in an lgbt relationship.

The memoir brings together the hope, expectations, and simplicity of falling in love with the struggle of dealing with a beloved’s inner demons on a roller coaster ride of hope, promise, despair, doubt, abuse, manipulation, betrayal, hate, and ultimately the courage and strength to say enough is enough.

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If any of this sounds familiar or you can relate to the examples set forth, I urge you to visit my blog and explore the community resources and tools to help you navigate this phase of your life. You are never alone. http://abeautifulmessnovel.blogspot.com

I am gay. I am West Virginian by birth, Tennessean by duration, and Texan by heart. I am Scorpio-Aries rising. I am a cyclist. I am a writer.

I am a hiker. I am an animal lover. I am Phi Theta Kappa and Pi Sigma Alpha. I am strong. I am independent. I am Summa Cum Laude, times two. I am a Magna Cum Laude, times one. I am complex. I am simple. I am a communicator. I am afraid of spiders. I am sometimes shy. I am ball cap and blue jeans. I am heels and frills. I am a dreamer. I am a planner. I am rock-n-roll. I am country. I am often misunderstood. I am teary-eyed over happy and sad endings. I am respectful. I am loyal. I am a fan of the underdog. I am compassionate. I am not always right. I am always learning. I am consistent. I am a true friend. I am not a morning person.

I am full of flaws, held together by good intentions.

photos courtesy: Tony Scarlatta

W

hat began ten years ago in Boston as a telephone dating service called “The Tool Line,” is now America’s leading web site for men looking to meet other men. Manhunt has more than four million profiles worldwide, with 40,000 new members joining each week.

then, gay bars and discos were the places to go to meet gay men. If you were a good dancer with a gym body and perfect hair, you made friends. I was the guy watching all the others from a dark corner of the room.

As chairman of Manhunt, co-founder Jonathan Crutchley is the man behind the blue and orange curtain. We sat down with him at his fabulous Brookline estate to discuss how he and his business partner Larry Basile first came up with the idea for an online gay dating site; and how, in 10 years, it has changed the way gay men meet other gay men.

JC: It wasn’t until the introduction of telephone chat lines, like the one founded by my business partner Larry Basile in 1987, that I was able to meet more guys and make friends. On the telephone lines you were just a voice – the rest was unseen, and, until you met someone in person, they were just a fantasy. Fantasy is powerful, and it helped me emerge from my shell. Later, when I partnered with Larry Basile in the telephone chat lines and, after that, the Internet personals business, we perfected the use of fantasy to help men meet each other.

How did you become the ultimate gay matchmaker?

Jonathan Crutchley: The truth is that I have always been a shy and introverted person, especially when I came out as a gay man, which didn’t happen until I was thirty. Back

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How did you hook up?

Are people surprised to meet the man behind the Manhunt curtain?

JC: Yes, the real me is not what people imagine.

For twenty five years I sold real estate and wore sport jackets from Brooks Brothers. You wouldn’t find me marching in a pride parade with my shirt off. I’d be watching the parade from the sidelines.

How did Manhunt become the leading dating web site for gay men?

JC: Larry and I knew that Manhunt’s customers are more than just those who live in gay neighborhoods in big cities and who follow the latest trends and fashions. Our market is much larger than that. It includes bears, leather guys, even married and bi-guys – whom we guess could be as many as thirty percent of Manhunt users. We always knew that gay men were everywhere, and with Manhunt, guys from Nashville, Tenn., to North Dakota can find each other. There is much more to gay life than Chelsea in New York City or the Castro or West Hollywood.

We developed a site that was easy for the average guy to use.

e t a m i t l U e Th Hunter’s Lodge At Home with Manhunt’s Jonathan Crutchley

by Sebastian Reynolds

speed. But anyone who wants to engage in commerce today must adapt to the latest medium or get left behind. We employ about 28 geeks in our tech department.

It's their job to keep our current system running on the internet and mobile phone and to develop new ways for guys to meet each other.

Meanwhile, you get to relax in your Brookline Estate that has been compared to the Playboy mansion.

How has gay dating changed in ten years?

JC: Guys have always been looking for the same things. The web makes it much easier to find exactly what you want.

Do you pay attention to the competition?

JC: We’d be crazy not to.

Manhunt was slow to the mobile game. Why did it take so long for Manhunt to launch its mobile app?

JC: We took our time in development because we decided it best to stick by our old formula of quality as #1. We’ve learned through the years that exceptional quality and service will bring subscribers back and bring new ones onboard.

What is Manhunt doing to keep up with mobile trends?

JC: It's not easy. Technology changes at internet

JC: It’s a gay man's fantasy, or at least this gay man's fantasy. Someone else may have a different dream.

Do you have a grotto?

JC: There's a temple behind the spa and pool.

It’s reminiscent of a Roman bath with the statues and the fountains.

Do you host naughty parties?

JC: I'll let you use your imagination.

The home appears to be a shrine to masculinity.

JC: Some people say it’s a bit too hyper masculine but I've reached the stage in life where I can have the house I want and the life I want without having to worry what people think.

What is your favorite room in the house?

JC: I would say the oak-paneled library.

In the winter, I love to curl up with a book by the fireplace.

Did you commission the mural in the entry?

JC: The mural was painted on the wall thirty years ago by a previous owner. It shows scenes of Italy, particularly Venice, and Roman ruins.

It is in keeping with the style of the house as a Mediterranean villa.

How many people does it take to run the house?

JC: Mike is my resident manager. He supervises the housekeeper, gardeners, landscapers, and maintenance people. Then, one week every month, we go out to Palm Springs, California, to my other house. Mike runs that home, too.

You can live anywhere in the world, why Massachusetts?

JC: Family plays a major part in where we live.

My family has lived in Massachusetts since the 1600's.

Is this where you hope to retire?

JC: Who says I'll retire? But, if I do, it will be to an apartment in New York City.

Where do you see yourself living in your next chapter of life?

JC: I lived in my last home for twenty six years.

I've only been here for four years. I have a lot more story to live in this house before I’m ready to end this chapter.

Visit Manhunt.net

Mr. Gay

Canada From Vancouver, Canada, Rob Goddard works in the gay community as a bartender while developing his modeling career. Most notably, Rob has volunteered for various organizations including Vancouver’s Next Gay Top Model, GayWhistler’s WinterPRIDE, and the Vancouver Pride Society.

As stated by Rob, “being ‘Mr. Gay Canada’ and participating in the ‘Mr. Gay World’ competition is an incredible opportunity to meet courageous men from around the world who all have a unique story, and who want to make a difference in improving the human rights conditions that they face in their home country and around the world. It is a great honour to use the platform of ‘Mr. Gay World’ to share my experiences as a gay man privileged to come from a far less discriminating nation such as Canada - a country that borders a ‘free’ super-power country that is STILL divided over the rights and acceptance of non-straights.”

Goddard continues, “I look forward in educating myself more on the struggles many other countries face, and doing my small part to help by being their voice, and offer the hope of liberation to them.”

To learn more about Mr Gay Canada, visit: http://mrgaycanada.blogspot.com To learn more about Mr Gay USA, visit: www.mrgayworldusa.com

Connextions Magazine had the pleasure of meeting Rob while walking in the NYC Pride Parade 2011 with Mr Gay USA. He is pictured left with Jarl Haugedal, Founder of Mr Gay USA.

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Lesbians? Fine. But Marriage?

by Abigail Rome

Y

ou're getting married???? Whatever for? That was the unspoken response I sensed when I told my brothers and sisters that Eileen and I had gotten engaged during our recent trip to Switzerland. We were sitting around the dinner table after finishing off a meal of freshly caught haddock, kale and salad from the garden, and blueberry buckle (a favorite recipe using wild Maine blueberries). I had been eager to tell them all day, but had waited because I wanted to make my announcement to everyone at once. I waned to feel their excitement and hear their blessings collectively. But when the moment came and I revealed my news, there was silence, an awkward silence, from all four siblings present.

So, why shouldn't they be happy that we were going to get married?

Or, more accurately, why weren't they joyous and congratulatory when I told them? Why didn't they share my excitement and express their support? I'll never be entirely sure, but I do have my theories.

The most likely reason is that they just didn't expect us to get married.

We're two gay women, after all. And, gay people, even in 2010 (when we got engaged) don't marry. I'm guessing that that's where they were coming from that evening at the dinner table. Funny thing, though, is that three of them live in Massachusetts where same-sex marriage had been legal for six years already.

Finally, my niece – a nose-ring wearing, 25 year-old who had graduated from Oberlin and was teaching emotionally disadvantaged kids in an inner-city school in the Bay Area of California – exclaimed, "That's great!

How exciting!" She pounded me with questions and congratulated me while the others sat there quietly. I glanced at each of them but it seemed that they didn't want to look me in the eye. I was crestfallen. I wanted to cry, and struggled to hold back my tears.

The next day my oldest brother, who had remarried after being widowed, told me that he had told his wife our news over the phone later that evening. She was very excited and happy for us and sent heartfelt congratulations. I thanked him for the message, glad that at least someone was rooting for us, and then asked him what he thought. I added that I didn't feel very supported when I made my announcement, and wondered why he hadn't reacted in a more positive way. He hesitated, not knowing what to say, but then admitted that he didn't think we needed to get married.

It was strange, very strange, as they were totally supportive of my relationship with Eileen. She and I had been together for seven years, and right from the start they were excited and happy for me. Once they met her, they told me how much they liked her and how we made a great match.

As the years progressed, they included her in our phone conversations and expected us to be together whenever we visited. And, most of the time she was. She became a fully accepted member of the family.

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No, of course not. We weren't planning to have children, and we wouldn't see any legal benefits from it as Maryland residents. But, then again, why shouldn't we get married? Why shouldn't we make a formal and public commitment to each other and celebrate it with those we love most?

I asked him why he had bothered to get remarried. He'd already had one successful marriage, both he and his second wife had two grown kids each, and they weren't planning to have more children.

He shrugged. I asked, isn't this almost the same? Reluctantly, he responded, "I guess I see the point." I felt somewhat relieved, knowing that his wife's excitement had helped grease the wheels of his emotions and common sense.

When I questioned my other siblings about their reactions, all I got was that they were taken aback at my announcement and didn't know what to say. That answer didn't satisfy me. After all, saying congratulations and we're happy for you, really isn't a very difficult or untimely response. I was hurt, but chose to focus on telling friends and neighbors about our upcoming marriage, rather than belabor the point with close family. The positive responses that I received from everyone else – old friends, new friends, even strangers - eventually outweighed my disappointment with my siblings.

Now, months later, after a successful wedding – with almost all family members present and beaming with happiness, praising us about the ceremony and party, and offering heartfelt, loving toasts – I've come to a couple of conclusions about the nature of their initial noncommittal reactions. First, and I hesitate to say this, I think they're not (or, they weren't) as progressive or open-minded – at least about gay issues and equality – as I had thought. They seemed to

be of the mindset that it's better to keep one's gayness an unspoken issue, or at least as one that's not worthy of celebration. And, I think they were astounded that I would bother to do something so traditional as to get married. After all, I've always lived a life that's slightly atraditional, moving a lot in my early adulthood, living in other countries for years at a time, and not sticking with the same job for more than a few years. Why would their little sister want to settle down now, after more than 50 years of doing her own thing?

Well, people change. I've changed, realizing that stability can be a good thing. And, even more important, I've learned that having a loving partner who cares for you and whom you care for is a precious gift that everyone should have at some point in their lives. I know, it sounds so sappy. But, mutual love and support do wonders for one's self esteem, overall happiness, and ability to do well life and contribute to society.

And now, post-wedding, I think my family has changed. They recognize the depth of my commitment to Eileen and the strength of our relationship and do not begrudge me of the opportunity to marry. They are, I think, proud that I have, once again, stepped out of the norm, and made a statement that any two people who love each other should be able to marry and enjoy the rights that other married couples have. They now see our wedding as an act of courage, worthy of joyous and public celebration.

photos courtesy: Deb Lindsey Photography

The Serenity of Song

Sung by the Humpback Whale

by Paula Malecki

photos courtesy: Kim Camarda

W

hale watching is an exuberating experience for Massachusetts tourists and residents alike. The Humpback whale is such a fascinating mammal to watch for its acrobatic entertainment and singing. While there are many opportunities available, one of the most popular is Cape Ann in Gloucester, Massachusetts for an awe inspiring sight of these magnificent wonders.

The Humpback Whale is an endangered species with little over 10,000 - 15,000 whales worldwide.

Their colors range from white to grey to black to mottle and these gentle giants grow to 52 feet long, weighing anywhere from 25-50 tons and living approximately 45-50 years.

The amazing mammals frequently perform aerial displays such as breaching (jumping out of the water), and will gracefully swim on their backs with both flippers in the air. "Tail lobbing" (raising their huge flukes out of the water and slapping them on the surface)

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and "flipper slapping" (using their flippers to slap the water) are also common behaviors...also important for whale communication.

This truly magnificent marine mammal travels a great distance to take advantage of the best breeding grounds and feeding spots, and are famous for their singing abilities. While both males and females can produce sound, only the males appear to produce long, varied, beautiful songs with distinct themes and melodies.

It is believed this is their mating call to advertise their availability to passing females. The songs last for 10-20 minutes, heard up to 20 miles away and researchers have yet to learn exactly how the whales produce the sounds, as these whales have no vocal cords. It is assumed they sing by circulating air through the tubes and chambers of their respiratory system for no visible air escapes and their mouths do not move.

Massachusetts is a chosen favorite to experience the Humpback whale in all of its awe and wonder.

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Properties

A Superb Stay in Boston, MA

uring a recent trip to Boston, Connextions D Magazine enjoyed a superb stay at 51 Sumner Street, Unit 2, a property owned and managed by Lance Swank of Swank Properties. The cleanliness was impeccable and no detail was overlooked.

Each of Swank Properties offers Condo style apartment living at economical rates.

The Sumner Street location offered a fully-equipped kitchen, living room, library, deck, 2 separate bedrooms, 2 full baths, as well as off-street parking. If you are new to apartment renting vs. hotel accommodations, erase the fear from your mind, as check-in is as simple as following a few instructions that are emailed to you prior to your stay. Detailed instructions include where to park and the key box code to enter the secure building.

Perfect for those who prefer privacy.

As previously mentioned, the overwhelming attention to detail leaves no questions unanswered.

For example, take-out and restaurant menus were placed in the kitchen drawer and directions to the “T” (Boston subway) were located at the front entry, as well as plenty of tourist attraction books, cards and pamphlets. As stated by Lance, “It’s the little things that matter!”

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Lance Swank was born in Alexandria, VA, grew up in Western PA, spent 7 years in Hawaii, and finally landed in Boston after attending Grad school in Wellesley, Massachusetts. In addition to the 12 rental property units in the Greater Boston area, Lance’s private development company is currently renovating a 9 unit building. Lance adds, “Without the guidance and support of my spouse, Allan, since 1994, I wouldn’t be able to do all that I do.”

Well-respected in his community, Lance devotes a great deal of time to his surrounding neighborhood s, and enjoys working with non-profit organizations, such as dotout.org.

DotOUT is a grassroots, member driven organization committed to the ideals of acceptance, inclusion, fairness, and equality in the community of Dorchester.

First-class service and stay at Swank Properties certainly offers the ultimate traveling experience.

Once exposed to this style of "healthy," affordable vacationing, it is not possible to look elsewhere for overnight accommodations. This new found 'comfort of home' with personality and charm creates an eager desire to return. www.swank-properties.com

Owner Lance Swank

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photo courtesy: Kim Camarda

“One, if by land, and two, if by sea”

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Paul Revere’s Ride

photo courtesy: Briana Foisia

rom lush tree covered mountain ranges to the picturesque sand dunes of the coast, Massachusetts is a state that does not Fdisappoint any visitor. From hikers and campers to history and ghost enthusiasts, the entire state is a theme park of life no matter what the interest is! With so many avenues of exploration we have chosen some favorites to share!

to find out more LGBT fun in Massachusetts, click: http://www.lgbtmassvacation.com

Boston

Provincetown (PTown)

With almost 400 years of history, Boston is considered one of the most historic, wealthy and influential cities in the US, making it into the top ten most popular tourist locations in the Country. There’s a lot to see and do in Boston, so first and foremost… bring comfortable shoes since its known as ‘the walking city!’ The Freedom Trail draws you into early American History starting right at the Boston Commons, where "redcoats" (British Army) are found at every turn. The infamous Quincy Market highlights music, entertainment and shopping, while Boston's North End (Little Italy) provides quaint restaurants with fantastic cuisine! If you are not completely exhausted by nightfall and seek more Boston thrills, Ghost Tours are available for those who dare!

Known for its status as one of the most popular vacation destinations for the LGBT community, Provincetown sits on the farthest end of Cape Cod. With gay events all year, such as Baby Dyke Weekend, Circuit Week, Bear Week, Women's Week, Girl Splash, and LGBT Family Week, this town certainly lives up to its motto "Like Nowhere Else!"

The cultural diversity, unique B&B's, vibrant entertainment scene, plethura of shopping and gorgeous sand dunes on the ocean, create a most welcoming and breathtaking atmosphere.

For events calendar, activities, arts, community, restaurants, accommodations, directions and much more, visit www.ptown.org

Boston patriots played key roles in the fight for American independence, and pride and the revolutionary spirit still influences the city's culture, attitudes and décor. It’s difficult not to take an interest when you are ‘where history happened!’

Walking where Paul Revere rode, eating where our founding Father’s ate, and standing on the grounds where hundreds died for our freedom, give you a sense of inspiring awe, pride and patriotism! Whether by land or by sea, the city of Boston is rich and fulfilling for all.

For a great website that clearly highlights everything you need to know about traveling in Boston, from attractions, current events & accommodations to discounts & parking, we recommend www.boston-discovery-guide.com

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Western Massachusetts The LGBT community has a strong presence in Western Massachusetts, from The Berkshires to Pioneer Valley to Northampton. The eclectic towns and cafes, arts scene, museums, restaurants and cozy (world renowned) B&B's are commonplace for same-sex couples.

A romantic drive up the Mohawk Valley River to see the fall foliage is highly recommended! Click to this website for Fall Foliage driving routes and the best time of year to visit: http://www.massvacation.com/fallfoliag

Martha's Vineyard The 87 square mile land mass of Martha's Vineyard is primarily known as a summer colony, and is accessible only by boat and by air. Cost of living on the island is approximately 60% higher than the national average and housing prices are about 96% higher.

Although not a single's destination like Provincetown, upscale and gay-friendly Martha's Vineyard shouldn't be missed for a scenic and romantic getaway. Besides, it's home to the Dike Bridge and Gay Head Cliffs...

Salem Known to most for the Salem Witchcraft Trials, you will be taken back by this coastal city. On June 30, 2011 Salem introduced their first annual "Out Night" for the LGBT community!

This event was idealistic for the city to share its active nightlife, historic charm and cultural arts with open arms. Historic on all accounts, there is no shortage of things to do in Salem!

Walking trails, architecture, museums, wineries, and events completely engulf both residents and visitors alike.

OUT IN THE COUNTY by: Dean Munroe

Prince Edward County is Canada’s New Gay and Lesbian Getaway.

Sandbank Estate Winery

I

n my room, I hear the driving rain pounding on the roof and the swirling wind ripping at the metal cladding…am I dreaming of the Wizard of Oz or Kansas? No, I’m not dreaming at all…I actually live in one of Canada`s 8 GREAT ESCAPES according to Maclean`s magazine. So here I am, 2 hours east of Toronto, 4 hours west of Montreal and 8.5 hours northwest of New York. I am definitely not in Kansas. With over 3 dozen wineries and vineyards, countless exciting art galleries and artists’ working studios, fine and casual dining, and numerous tempting sweet and cheese shops, I am situated in Canada’s top art and culinary destination. You can reach this picturesque island by bridge or by boat or like me, take the ferry.

Whether you are a couple looking for a romantic getaway or a family wanting to spend some quality time together, The County, as the locals refer to it, offers it all. From the inlet beach and 10 metre high (33’ high) sand dunes of Sandbanks to North Beach Provincial Park that make up part of the over 800km (497 miles) of coastline on the shores of Lake Ontario, there is a beach for everyone, even a gay one. This bastion of British Anglo Saxon Protestantism and United Empire Loyalists has come a long way from weather beaten red barns and quaint Victorian residences. The County is attracting a bevy of gay entrepreneurs carving out a simpler life, opening businesses, and getting back to the land.

So let’s see, driving from my house in Hillier, there are pastoral scenes cut with winding roads hugging gentle hills that reveal panoramic vistas of Lake Ontario and fields of corn, wheat, cattle, sheep or grapes. Included are the historic allure of streetscapes, heritage buildings, quiet harbours, and vineyards. It is a must for artists, nature lovers, and anyone seeking a little piece and quiet.

ACTIVITIES: Events and activities are plentiful throughout the year from Maple in the County, The Canadian Cheese Festival, Countylicious, The Authors' Festival to The Jazz Festival, Festival Players Theatre, The Prince Edward County Studio & Gallery Tour and Picturefest...our very own gay film festival.

ART: As a sculptor I am partial to art and have recently been featured on BUMP of OutTV and Logo. From galleries featuring 50+ artists, to artist run studios, the juices are always flowing... creative juices that is.

WINE: You’ll appreciate self guided wine tours to over 36 award winning wineries. Wineries range from small boutique family owned and operated vineyards to monolithic modern facilities where you will even find a heli-pad.

casual restaurants and cafes. Some menus reflect French foundations while focusing upon Canadian products, while others rise to the occasion… cooking small scale, sourcing locally and letting their menu reflect the changing seasons. Dine until your hearts content or create your own masterpieces at one of our cooking schools. The day will capture your heart and your senses. Chocolate, pastries, or home-made ice cream will satisfy your desires. Eat, drink and be merry.

SPA: Thalassotherapy anyone? Ancient therapies using raw, organic, Canadian, indigenous-based ingredients and products is your private urban retreat for ocean therapies, treatments, and all that encompasses mind, body and balance for both men and women. Treat yourself…you deserve it!

ACCOMMODATIONS: L u x u r i o u s and contemporary designs await while maintaining a country feel where the rooms either overlook a vineyard or a garden. We have everything from casual inns and b&bs to vacation rentals...unwind and slip into serenity.

FOOD: There is over a dozen fine dining restaurants to frequent amongst another 40 or so

Michael Deyell of f a d: funktional art and design has created Out in The County to provide recommendations for the gay and lesbian (GL) traveler on GL-owned and GL-friendly businesses when visiting one of the most beautiful places in Canada: Prince Edward County. www.outinthecounty.com

Sandbanks Estate Winery

The Grange of Prince Edward Estates Vineyard and Winery

sailing, boating, fishing, cycling, antiquing, bird watching, windsurfing, kayaking, hiking trails, camping, paintball and shopping.

photo courtesy: James Ian Morgan

Dale a m n

Guy o o d

Madison a n

Who is Dale Guy Madison?

Madison is an educator, writer, performance artist, filmmaker and former host for the QVC network. Dale received an Audre Lorde Scholarship in 2006 and completed his BA from Antioch University in 2009 and a Master of Arts in Education with an Emphasis in Leadership and Change in 2010.

Dale released his memoirs entitled, “DREAMBOY: My Life as a QVC Host & Other Greatest Hits.” The film version received "Best LGBT film" at the 2008 San Diego Black Film Festival. The Maryland State Arts Council recognized him in his one-man show, “FREEda Slave: Mask of a Diva,” which addressed issues of cross-dressing and intra-discrimination in the gay community. A short film based on one of his original poems, "The Panty Man" screened in 2009 at the Chicago Black Harvest Film Festival, The Show Off Your Shorts Festival, The Los Angeles Pan-African Film Festival, and Africa in the Picture Festival of Amsterdam.

Latest book release…reviewed by Connextions Magazine: His latest book, released in 2010, is an adult fairy tale called “The Friendship Train.” It is the story of a feminine boy (Sissy Sammy) from the hood, who after a bullying incident wakes up in the fairytale land of ‘gay Oz.’ Dale states: “It was originally supposed to be a spoken word poem that played off double consonants, (Sissy Sammy, Bully Basheer, purple police car, etc) but once I started writing the story, it kept growing as a message about not only coming out the closet, but about name-calling, bullying and suicide. I wanted to show LGBT teens to be proud of where we came from, so I threw in some gay history too. I started writing Sissy

Sammy in 2007 and even wrote my master’s thesis on how to use arts to help high-risk LGBT kids. I could have never predicted in 2010, the week my book came out, the newspapers would be full of stories about LGBT suicides.”

This book is so much more than a just a comic style fairytale. It offers symbolism based on true LGBT history and it clearly states and captures the wide realm of issues faced by the LGBT community.

The story ties-in humor through the learning of self-discovery, with help from prominent people who have paved the way for equality.

Kudos on a fantastic read! Democratic Gov. Jerry Brown recently signed a bill that will require public schools in the state of California to teach students about the contributions of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans. I sincerely hope this is one of the first books in the school library.

Dale Madison to perform at the Queer Arts Festival in California on August 5, 2011: Highways Performance Space presents Dale Madison’s new one-man show “My Life in 3 Easy Payments.” Dale Madison speaks to the pop culture phenomenon of reality shows and the quest for fame at any cost. Inspired by Sunset Boulevard, Valley of the Dolls, Dreamgirls, drag queens, Diana Ross, African storytelling and his own unique experience of selling products on live television, Madison offers a humorous interactive story through spoken word, songs, storytelling and video footage of his life inspired from his memoir Dreamboy: My Life as a QVC Host & other greatest hits. www.damngoodman.com

e h T ern Day Mod y D y a G h c n u B

by C

photo courtesy: KMT Photography

la er de h p o t s hri

Torre

wo How t cat nd a a s d ki , five s m o m home. a e k ma For Tammy and Kristen, raising five kids is easy.

It’s everything else that’s hard.

aving the church bless their first home meant the world to Kristen H Talluto and Tammy Smith. So much so, they couldn't imagine how a man of the cloth could ever reject them. "Kris and I are strong in our faith as Catholics," Tammy says. "It should have been simple." But simple turned complicated once they were asked by the priest to define their relationship – two women and five children don't exactly paint a typical American family portrait.

So the priest took their information and said he'd be in touch. But the phone call never came. Faith unshaken, they soon found a gay minister to pray with them and bless their home.

The kids were registered for school and daycare, and family life continued.

Finding a house to call a home isn't easy—let alone finding one for seven.

Eager to settle down, the family had endured a long and frustrating string of rejections. But these moms would say that when it comes to matters of the heart, you should never second-guess yourself. It wasn’t always that way. Closeted long enough to make husbands and have five children between them, Kristen, 32, and Tammy, 46, had ample time to practice—and learn from—the flip side of that philosophy; it was family pressure and a fear of rejection that kept them from being happy for so long. So when the opportunity finally came, they jumped at it.

Kristen popped the big question just one month into their relationship and they decided to move in together shortly after.

Fast-forward seven months and the “Gaydy Ranch” seems, dare we say, normal. Kristen is a paralegal for a medical malpractice firm by day

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and manages her own photography business on the side, while Tammy handles accounts payable for an HVAC company. The couple never needs to discuss who does what around the house. Like other mothers, they negotiate nightmares, parent-teacher meetings and tickle wars.

When it comes to caring for their children, they're calm and collected.

Kristen's family blog, The Modern Day Gaydy Bunch, has attracted thousands of readers in just a few months. "Kris has adjusted to having teenagers, and I've adjusted to having little ones all over again," says Tammy. "And we wouldn't change a thing." When working and parenting aren't enough, the couple is busy advocating for the LGBT community through fundraisers and by example through their blog. "We work 9 to 5 jobs, come home, have dinner with our family and talk about our day," she says.

Life's challenges don't discriminate. Neither do the triumphs. In the end, what rescues this story from domestic humdrum is a sincere appreciation for the chaos most families take for granted. "We want to show people who feel that gay couples don't have the right to be parents, that we deal with the same everyday trials they deal with. When you pour the love that you have in your heart out to your children and your spouse, the outcome is a happy home. No matter how chaotic it gets."

To learn more about “The Gaydy Bunch,” including Kristen, Tammy, Harrison 21, Michael & Bianca (twins) 14, Alessandra 7, and Anthony 3…head to www.themoderndaygaydybunch.com

Programs that Save Lives . . .

SHELTER PROGRAMS

OPERATION BAGHDAD PUPS

SPCA International shows its support at the local level every month by awarding multiple cash grants to needy shelters. This money goes a long way to help the shelters improve their physical condition, enhance their spay and neuter programs, and ultimately reduce euthanasia rates.

Cash grants also are available to aid shelters hit by unexpected circumstances – such as natural disasters, theft or fire – that threaten to break already limited budgets.

U.S. troops in the Middle East befriend local animals as a way to cope with the emotional hardships they endure while deployed in a war zone.

Yet, it is against regulations for service members to care for an animal or bring it to the U.S. using military resources. Operation Baghdad Pups helps our troops safely transport their companion animals home. It is a logistically challenging program, but it does more than save animals – it also brings comfort, peace of mind and relief to our U.S. soldiers who have served overseas and helps them readjust to life back home after combat.

SPCA ANSWERS This program serves as a hub for information and as a referral resource for animal lovers throughout the world. SPCA Answers connects people with local shelters, helps initiate cruelty investigations, assists animal advocates throughout the world in the fight against cruelty, offers individual support for people dealing with unique situations, and much more.

Join us TODAY and help save an animal’s life!

Visit us Today!

www.spcai.org

My First Full Day in Buenos Aires Chronicles of a Gay Traveler

by Carlos Melia | CM by Carlos Melia

I

awake early after a fun night out and hit the streets from my short-term rental apartment dizzy and disoriented in search of a big cup of coffee. I see the familiar green logo with the “S” and I wonder where I am, London, Paris, New York, Madrid.? A strong ‘porteño’ accent full of melancholy hits me. I’m in Buenos Aires.

Buenos Aires is a city that boasts European heritage from its people, architecture and culture. It has a late and upcoming North American influence, increased by the great number of expats moving in. Despite this, it

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remains true to its South American flavor and traditions, mixing in a perfect balance with the characteristic drama and snobbism of the ‘porteños’ (Buenos Aires born locals). It’s a unique and lovable destination that will make you want to come back again and again.

Awarded, by a rolling and informal word of mouth, the title of the Gay Mecca of South America, Buenos Aires shows an open-minded and friendly attitude towards gay travelers, which was reinforced, last year, when the Same Sex Marriage Law was passed.

Buenos Aires welcomes foreigners with open arms, regardless of sexual orientation, making them feel comfortable and accepted. uenos Aires, leans towards an accepting and mixed environment, far from the old ghetto cliché.

It’s for this reason that most of the gay venues have turned straight-friendly or mixed. The straight venues desperately seek and welcome the charisma, glamour and disposable income of gays. The city is enormous, therefore I took the great advice from one of my many friends who has been to Buenos Aires before, (those that play travel agents by their own tragic experiences, which in fact save us money and time) to take a city tour while I am still jet-lagged. It’s a great way to discover the urban jungle, following the chronicles and pace of the city. It gives me a better understanding of

my hometown and allows me to identify the areas I want to see more of while I’m here.

La Boca, originally a lower-middle- class settlement that hosted ships docking from Europe, is an itinerant street academy of tango.

It is home to the national sport “futbol” and “la bombonera”, the Boca Juniors stadium (the most important soccer team in Argentina).

San Telmo is an aristocratic and vibrant commercial enclave that hosts a famous antique market every Sunday. It’s generally but not officially considered to be the gay neighborhood of Buenos Aires, with the Axel Hotel being its best example.

Plaza de Mayo and La Casa Rosada (Presidential Palace) is where you’ll find the “Madres de Plaza de Mayo” mothers (of the ‘disappeared’) against the military regime, with their characteristic white handkerchiefs, now printed on the pavement of the square.

The Plaza faces the balcony of La Casa Rosada where Evita pronounced her iconic speech.

Downtown is the main business and financial district, sectioned off by 9 de Julio Avenue.

It’s on this Avenue that you find the famous Obelisco and the recently opened and fully refurbished Colon Theater, a must see and visit attraction of the city.

Puerto Madero is the city’s most recent real estate development, with the Calatrava’s pedestrian bridge (“The Bridge of the Woman”) crossing the river, inspired by a couple dancing tango. The area is home to the exclusive FAENA Hotel by Phillipe Starck, where you will find the best tango show and dinner in town at Rojo Tango. Also in this area you will find the Ecological Reserve.

photos courtesy: Carlos Melia | CM by Carlos Melia

quick tanning nap by the Rose Gardens and the lakes. I move on to the Planetarium and the Japanese Gardens before visiting the Horse Racing Tracks and Polo Fields. Close by is the King Fahd Mosque, the biggest in South America.

After a long day out and about in this amazing city, I decide to check out the gourmet areas of Palermo, SOHO and Hollywood. I treat myself to a nice dinner and a bottle of Malbec and Torrontes. There are many options like Minga, Casa Cruz, MOTT, Standard, and Osaka, but I decide to try a new restaurant called TEGUI.

Retiro, (a.k.a. Retire) is the main train station allowing suburbanites to commute back and forth. Here you will find the Falkland Island’s ‘Malvinas’ Mausoleum, the Monumental Tower and San Martin Square. After an hour and a half of a very busy itinerary it’s time for a cool and relaxing lunch. I find the perfect place at El Claustro Santa Catalina. A beautiful bistro located inside the convent of Santa Catalina, founded in 1745. It’s a true gem in the middle of the city porteña.

After indulging myself with Volta ice-cream and Alfajores (cookies stuffed with dulce de leche) I’m back on track. I burn all those calories by walking for the next hour and a

half in the neighborhoods of Recoleta, visiting the Cemetery where everyone flocks to see Evita’s resting place. Your mouth will drop at the lavish and unique design of the place; it is a sight to behold and is not to be missed.

When the lights go out, (which in Buenos Aires happens after 2 AM) I venture into the gay nightlife of Buenos Aires with information provided by local friends I met at EGO Bar, taking me on a stylish fast- track of this diverse and energetic city, which stands out from the rest of South America not only for its venues and music but for its attractive and alternative crowd. Human Club, Rheo by Crobar, Amerika, Glam, Club One are just some of the options available.

From here it’s a short walk to the Design District and Figueroa Alcorta Avenue where you find the Flower (“Floralis Generica”) by Eduardo Catalano at Naciones Unidas Square. This is one of Buenos Aires’ classic contemporary landmarks.

This has been the chronicle of my first full day in Buenos Aires, and I can’t wait to see the rest of it. I’m off to bed now since tomorrow I have brunch at OLSEN Restaurant and then, the Delta of El Tigre, in the suburbs, along with many other alternatives planned such as San Antonio de Areco, to experience the real Gaucho folk style, Villa Maria Estancia on a trip back to the Belle Epoque of Buenos Aires.... I will tell you about this some other time or you could just experience it on your own!

A little further on, I step into the lungs of the city: the Palermo Parks, where I take a

http://www.carlosmeliablog.com

achieve it! For years we were miserable in our corporate jobs with no work/life balance. We were stealing away 6 or 7 times a year for long weekends to Mexico. We would sit beach side in our Adirondack chairs with our toes in the sand, staring at the turquoise waters of the Caribbean, asking ourselves how can we live in ‘Paradise?’ With the global economy showing signs of awakening we knew we had to pull the trigger and take that leap of faith!”

In 2007, the thoughts of relocation randomly lingered through the minds of Ken and Tobin but by 2009, the dreams became reality, as research about owning a bar in Mexico began.

Although an arduous process, with the help of an American bartender from Chicago who lives on the island, and a team to assist in navigation through the many channels of licenses and permits, Bob’s Cozumel was built.

Why Cozumel?

“We longed for life of a slower pace and the beauty of the Caribbean waters stole my heart the first time my eyes met the East side of Cozumel.

There are only two known gay bars on the island, so Bob’s Cozumel is a welcome addition.”

When Life Hands you Lemons,

!

(They have cocounuts!)

I

ntroduced through mutual friends, Ken and Tobin, both from Houston, Texas had been a couple for over 6 years when the decision was finally made to quit selling lemonaid in the corporate ‘rat race’ and learn how to crack coconuts in paradise.

Tobin states: “My Partner, Ken Brown and I left our corporate jobs in Houston, Texas, sold our worldly possessions and hopped a plane for Cozumel, Mexico where we now live and work. Self serving? You BET! The idea is that if you can dream it, you can

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What is life like on the island?

“This community is for the most part about church, family and togetherness...in that order. What a welcomed sight, to see a greater appreciation for the true aspects of life that we in the States sometimes forget. The kick off party for the 4th annual LGBT Pride parade was attended by families… not individuals. Mom, Dad, Grandma and younger children too! The party also included drag shows, boxer contests, & male strippers.”

Tobin states: “Visiting Mexico for the first time in 2000 with my Mom, I remember saying… I could live here! Who knew the universe would hear those words and bring Ken and I together to fulfill that spoken desire.”

In June 2011, Bob’s Cozumel celebrated their grand opening!

Bob's Cozumel is located in San Miguel Square down the Fairy (Ferry) Pier almost two blocks on the left.

Read the OUTSTANDING Trip Advisor reviews by searching “Bob’s Cozumel” Learn more: http://bobscozumel.blogspot.com

Congratulations New York State

Same-sex marriage became legal in NYS on July 24, 2011

www.freedomtomarry.org

A Christian Campaign for LGBT Equality

by Sung Won Park Director, Believe Out Loud

www.believeoutloud.com elieve Out Loud is more than a campaign name. It is a Brallying cry for an ambitious social marketing effort that is fast becoming the focal point of a powerful movement. Our goal is to energize and mobilize gay leaders and clergy already active on LGBT issues. They will, in turn, encourage the “moveable middle” to begin the conversation within their congregations, creating a more welcoming, more inclusive church community.

Our website features a host of resources, including a map to find LGBT inclusive churches; tools that support congregations in becoming LGBT inclusive and affirming spaces; and a forum for individuals to share their stories to grow the community.

Most recently, Believe Out Loud launched a short video to kick off our “A Million Christians for LGBT Equality” effort. The campaign is now burgeoning into a true movement with close to 14,000 “likes” on Facebook and over 43,000 views on YouTube!

Believe Out Loud is based on research where 7,000 Mainline Protestant (MP) senior clergy in seven denominations across the country were surveyed. The findings showed that 41% of the clergy fall in the “moveable middle” category – that is, they personally believe in full equality for LGBT persons, yet they have not done anything in their role as clergy to show that belief. In addition, 95% of Mainline clergy are not currently speaking out against the marginalization of LGBT persons and families. This disconnect is an opportunity to create dialogue and promote action within the church.

Research also shows that clergy by and large want to speak to their congregants about LGBT issues, but many fear that their congregants do not want to hear it. Ironically, those same congregants have questions around LGBT issues and faith and look towards their leadership to bring it up. Clergy say that if the interest is expressed they will talk about it. Congregants say that if the clergy bring it up, they want to talk about it too. The reality is both groups are ready for the conversation and we, as a campaign, provide many resources to help facilitate it while building a welcoming church community.

Every day we hear how the campaign has touched new lives and see it rapidly changing the landscape of LGBT inclusion and justice. Here are a few stories we’ve recently heard: “I haven't taken part in anything Christian for many years because of so much hatred. If more people would live your philosophy, the world would be a much better place!! Thank you.”

“Since starting Testosterone therapy (I am a female-to-male transsexual), I find that I do not cry as easily as I used to. I am still deeply moved, but it is a rare and precious gift to actually feel tears welling up in my eyes. This clip made me cry. It made me cry because I spent years sitting in various pews where I thought "if they only knew who I really am, these people around

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here, and especially that priest up there would not want me here." I had to choose: be a Christian, or be trans. Now, by the grace of God I have found a church where I can be my whole self, thanks to a pastor and a congregation who say "Welcome EVERYONE." Thanks to this film, I hope many more church leaders find their voices and believe out loud.”

“I Love this :) I left my church because people in my youth group found out I was bi-sexual and they treated me differently and I quickly became the outcast.

This gives me hope for a day when we all can walk into a church and nobody treats someone differently because of who they are attracted to.”

“So Happy to have found this Site! I am a 26th year Born Again Christian who believes the Churches should be welcoming Everyone! Who are we to judge Anyone?”

“I was very happy to see the ad for this group on my page the other day. I am a Christian and transgendered and am struggling with reconciling the two.

Thank you for simply starting this group as a place we can talk.”

“I didn’t know about this organization until about ten minutes ago. And for those ten minutes, I’ve been in tears of gratitude. You are TRULY salt and light. Thank you thank you thank you.”

Believing that LGBT persons should be welcomed in faith isn’t enough. Join us and a welcoming and affirming community that encourages and supports all Christians in their journey towards Believing Out Loud.

In Review Review COMPLIMENTS OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT

Vol. 34 Issue #13

July 14 – 20

Provincetown Magazine

Pam Ann Flies Into Town Varujan Boghosian & Ed Giobbi

Magazine

Mama and Her Boys

Since its founding in 1977, Provincetown Magazine, a weekly, has served a unique market with coverage of the arts, entertainment, dining, and shopping on Cape Cod. It has become an essential part of the fabric of this one-of-a-kind community which is a top-rated destination for the GLBT community and beyond.

plus...

MAR|APR 2011

Neighborhoods 3 @ WHAT

DELIVERED SUBSCRIPTION FREE! BostonSpiritMagazine.com

Queen

Jujubee The crown jewel of Boston’s drag scene heads a glamorous court

Weddings and Travel

How to do them right — our annual tips

You’re Out!

Longtime Boston Herald sports columnist declares he’s gay

Touchdown!

Patriots owner Robert Kraft keynotes LGBT biz event

Angels of Asylum

Boston Spirit Magazine Boston Spirit is a very classy LGBT publication in the Massachusetts and New England area. This award-winning publication is full of feature articles on all the latest hot spots for travel, shopping and dining throughout the Northeastern region of the United States.

This well-designed and tasteful publication gets 5 stars from Connextions Magazine!

Worcester church shelters a growing number of oppressed int’l LGBTs

Inside the Manhunt Mansion Dungeon? Hmmm ... we take you inside so you can see for yourself

Freak Short Film by Eric Casaccio Randall, or known in drag as Sofia (played by Aaron Merken) portrays the life of a struggling actor in this 18 minute short film. Although not all of us are actors or dress in drag, many will relate to the life stresses that create avoidance. Most commonly avoided is the ringing phone... due to family distance and repetetive collection calls.

From desperate to confident, Cassaico delivers a happy ending that is sure to make you smile.

“Still Right Here”

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M

elissa Ferrick, with her impressive 20 year career in the music industry is due to release her next album “Still Right Here” on September 13, 2011 via MPress Records. “Still Right Here” is Ferrick’s first studio record in five years, and boasts guest vocals from friend and often tour mate, Ani DiFranco and guitar work from the incredible Kaki King.

Melissa Ferrick’s impressive career as a predominantly independent artist is virtually unheard of in today’s industry and speaks to her talent and the world she has built for herself.

There is her expansive body of work, mapped out over the sixteen albums that comprise her career to date.

“I’m glad I’ve gotten as far as I have. I’m glad I’ve survived the industry and its changes, that I can still make a living playing shows and making records. And whenever I start to think maybe I shouldn’t do this, I try to remember that it’s no accident that I’ve written 150 songs, and people are still coming to shows. I’ll just keep doing this until I’m not doing it anymore.”

Listening to the tracks on her new release, brings on that familiar emotion and passion that Ferrick has always brought to her fans who can instantly relate to feelings of falling in love, breaking up, and recovering broken hearts. Album namesake and opening single, “Still Right Here” serves as the records mission statement. “The track was inspired by a friend who walked away from a terrible car accident,” Ferrick states.

Musically, the track showcases the signature guitar sound that Melissa is revered for, blending seamlessly with her flawless gritty vocals.

- Melissa Ferrick

Ferrick begins her nationwide tour on September 18th in Montana and ends on November 18th in New York. For more information, including all tour dates, click : www.melissaferrick.com

Melissa Ferrick

Website Highlights www.chevaliercollection.com A unique wedding gift of aerating wine glasses designed with the ideals of a wine connoisseur in mind! Specialty wine glasses that provide a contemporary wine drinking experience… scientifically proven to aerate your wine, allowing the flavor and aroma of your wine to blossom. Chevalier designs (Patent Pending) are made of borosilicate glass, hand blown and hand assembled. All products are lead free, dishwasher safe, and designed in the United States of America. The box set of (2) for only $49.95 makes for a great gift!

www.couplesforequality.org The founders of Couples for Equality™ are collaborating on a series of photographic and video expositions that show the love of all couples from around the globe, who have come together to show their support for all committed relationships - no matter their sexual orientation or ethnic diversity - in a visually, dynamic manner. The goal of the “Couples for Equality™” project is simple -- to inspire love, understanding, and acceptance of all committed relationships through the medium of artistic expression.

Submit your picture and show your support for ALL EQUALITY!

http://xdress.com XDress offers an amazing array of beautifully designed and impeccably manufactured underwear for men, shipped worldwide from our American headquarters. At least 90% of the products are manufactured in USA, allowing better quality control and fast development of new designs. Founded in 1988

by Kristina, a former American diplomat and David, a petroleum geophysicist, XDress is based in Scottsdale, Arizona. Quoted from @XdressLingerie on Twitter: “For the best Crossdressing clothes on the web check us out!”

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Join the Journey...

Across America!

AUG 2011 Issue #4

7 Reasons LGBT FamiliesRock Canada’s New Gay Getaway

Domestic Violence The Unspoken Truth

Massachusetts

Melissa Ferrick “Still Right Here”

Cut Here

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Issue 5

Releases: Nov 2011 Special Features:

Ohio...LGBT friendly travel to Ohio

Jewelry Jamboree...Designer jewelry for the gay and gay friendly

Advertising the Arts... Theatre & the Opera

Issue 6

Releases: Feb 2012 Special Features:

Florida... LGBT friendly travel to Florida

Financial Planning for your future

Gifts & Gardens for Gays

The famouse Florida pink flamingo

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Editorial Calendar

"mean streak" rollercoaster at Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio.

Special Features

Celebrating 25 years of amplifying the voice of the LGBT community!

Become a member today!

Don’t Ignore Back Pain

Reduce Or Eliminate It With Massage

t starts out subtle...barely recognizable, Iso you pay no attention. “It’ll go away” you

say quietly. The next time, it pokes you like a crochet needle, during a particular movement. “Darn, what was that?” you blurt out, with a knee-jerk reaction. Now, you begin to ponder what you were doing before being poked. Your next thought is to take an aspirin and hopefully all returns to normal correct? The nerve receptors have been dulled for a while but that is all. The next time your back tries speaking to you, it feels like a cattle prod, and you might just be down for the count. I know many of your reading this can relate, and you are not alone, I assure you. Everybody deals with back pain in some degree. The untold truth is many unfortunately ignore it, instead of dealing with it head on.

begins to retract: your shoulders begin to move forward and move north to our ears, the neck becomes hidden, and the back begins to settle into its new posture. “It’s an armoring effect,” says Angie Parris- Raney, a Denver based Massage Practitioner.

Along with stress, which over time is bad, poor posture, bad sitting posture, lack of exercise, arthritis, osteoporosis, a sedentary existence, overexertion, being pregnant, kidney craters, fibromyalgia, and extra weight can spark postural pattering and eventual back pain.

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In the August 2005 issue of Consumer Reports, they cited deep-tissue massage being most effective by readers for back pain, while research from the University of Miami School of Medicine and Touch Research Institute proved that massage can decrease stress and long-term pain, improved sleep and range of motion, helped lower incidence of depression and anxiety that so often accompanies back pain. In another study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine it was found that massage significantly reduced pain within moderately severe chronic back pain sufferers. After receiving an hour of massage, once a week for 10 weeks, clients reported that their pain had decreased by 50 percent.

A Few Things To Keep Your Back Healthy

First and foremost, the body is all connected via bones, muscles, tendons and ligaments.

So a Massage Practitioner must address your body as a whole unit and not as separate parts. We observe everything to see what is causing your back pain, begin to formulate a plan, and make sure that our treatment, your issue, is within the scope of our practice. Back pain can be paralyzing, painful and life altering, so its’ important to listen to your body and be proactive not reactive. Experts estimate that roughly 80% of the population will experience back problems at some time in our lives, according to the ACA. What causes Back pain?

Back pain can be a paralyzing condition because all the movement your body makes balances on the spine functioning properly and optimally. The moment you begin to experience back pain, the whole body jumps into “protection mode” and compensates to avoid any pain. As the body compensates, to avoid pain, secondary problems begin to arise due to compensation patterns. Back pain can be the result of several factors but high on the list is stress. Are you hunched over a keyboard? Maybe it is deadline stress, pain and soreness while playing golf or maybe it is blackberry syndrome.

I am sure many of you would not refute that these particular scenarios plague you quite often. When your body is stressed, it

by Jon Borges L.M.P.

There is HOPE in massage If you are one who suffers with back pain, you know this is no easy solution for chasing the painful blues away. Yes, physical therapy has proven effective for some, as has chiropractic and acupuncture, but massage is finally making a name for itself when it comes to providing relief. “Massage practitioners have long treated low-back pain safely and effectively,” says Les Sweeney, president of Associated Bodywork & Massage Professionals. “They have done so less expensively and less invasively than is possible with other treatments.”

Stretch and warm the tissues before exercise or other strenuous activities Practice good posture. Avoid slouching when sitting or standing.

When standing, keep your weight balanced on both feet.

Follow good ergonomics in the workplace.

Sit a couple lacrosse balls on your chair. Sit and roll on them Avoid high-heeled shoes if possible. At your desk? Roll feet on Lacrosse balls for relaxation Strengthen your core to keep your lower back strong Don’t lift any items that are too heavy for you. If you lift anything, lift with knees not back. Don’t twist Get a massage regularly and that means at least once a month and no less!

Not only can massage help you deal with the pain but it will make your life more comfortable and joyful! Follow the simple guideline above for a healthier and happier back! See you soon for some bodywork!

Jon Borges L.M.P. Intuitive Touch Massage By Jon Ntuitivebodywork@aol.com www.intuitivetouchbyjon.massagetherapy.com

We are the voice & bridge of LGBT business in the NYC area.

As the first gay/lesbian Chamber of Commerce in NYC, we are here to assist businesses obtain SBA Certification, NY State Certification, and loan processes.

NYC LGBT Chamber of Commerce Rev Carmen Hernandez is the CEO/Founder/Outreach/Pastor at Stratford Community Services, Inc. As an activist in the Soundview section of the Bronx for the past 25 years, Rev. Carmen Hernandez has helped empower at-risk inner city kids. The Rev has proved to be a vital part of the South East Bronx community.

Contact Rev. Carmen Hernandez President/Founder (347) 547.6300 Email: nyclgbtchamber@msn.com Website: www.nyclgbtcc.com

The NYC LGBT Chamber of Commerce Inc. is a not-for profit 501 (c) (6) whose purpose is to assist and facilitate in economic development opportunities for LGBT and minority businesses.

NON-PROFIT/SERVICES/ ORGANIZATIONS

GLAAD Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation www.glaad.org

Directory

AIDS Action Committee of Mass 75 Amory Street Boston, MA 02119 617.437.6200 www.aac.org

Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project 955 Massachusetts Ave, PMB 131 Cambridge, MA 02139 800.832.1901 hotline http://gmdvp.org

All Souls Unitarian Universalist Church 196 Elm Street Braintree, MA 02185 781.843.1388 http://www.allsoulsbraintree.org BAGLY Boston Alliance of GLBT Youth 617.227.4313 www.bagly.org Boston Gay Men’s Chorus 95 Berkeley Street, Suite 410 Boston, MA 02116 617.542.7464 www.bgmc.org

Empowering Spirits Foundation, Inc. Civil Rights Equality Organization 3535 Lebon Drive, Suite 5211 San Diego, CA 92122 858.225.8700 http://www.empoweringspirits.org

First Parish of Sudbury Unitarian Universlist

327 Concord Road Sudbury, MA 01776 978.443.2043 http://www.fpsudbury.org Freedom To Marry

Campaign to win Marriage Equality Nationwide

www.freedomtomarry.org

Friends of GLBT Youth PO Box 960519 Boston, MA 02196 617.450.1333 info@friendsofglbtyouth.org

Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders 30 Winter Street Boston, MA 02108 617.426.1350 www.glad.org

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I Want The Right Campaign Lori Michaels Productions/Reach Out, Inc. 352 Seventh Avenue, Suite 202 New York, NY 10001 212.979.8324 www.reachoutinc.com Lesbian Aid & Service Society Massachusetts http://www.meetup.com/LASS-Boston LGBT Aging Project 555 Amory Street Jamaica Plain, MA 02130 617.522.1292 www.lgbtagingproject.org

Professional

Dignity Boston GLBT & Allies Catholics PO Box 170428 Boston, MA 02117 617.421.1915 www.dignityboston.org

Human Rights Campaign Civil Rights for LGBT 1640 Rhode Island Avenue Washington DC, DC 20036 202.216.1500 www.hrc.org

www.connextionsmagazine.com

LGBT Coalition of Western Massachusetts, Inc. 32 Industrial Drive East Northampton, MA 01060 413.588.1018 http://www.lgbtcoalitionwma.org NYC LGBT Chamber of Commerce Rev Carmen Hernandez www.nyclgbtcc.com PFLAG of Cape Cod Brewster PO Box 241 Harwich Port, MA 02646 508.240.4001 http://pflagcapecod.org Provincetown Business Guild 3 Freeman Street, Unit 2 Provincetown, MA 02657 508.487.2313 http://www.ptown.org

SPCAI Advancing the safety & well-being of animals www.spcai.org The Network for LGBT Health Equity Tobacco Control Network 1340 Boylston Street Boston, MA 02115 617.927.6451 http://lgbttobacco.org

BOOKSTORES/RETAIL Giovanni’s Room 345 South 12th Street Philadelphia, PA 19107 215.923.0813 www.queerbooks.com FINANCIAL Phan Financial Capital Management Paul D. Phan, Investment Advisor Syracuse, NY paul@phanfinancial.com Peter Hamilton Nee, AIF, CRPC UBS Financial Services, Inc. 55 William Street Wellesley, MA 02481 718.446.8918 http://financialservicesinc.ubs.com/fa/peternee/ LODGING/RESTAURANTS

NYC-JC Luxury Hotel Alternative 70 Greene Street Jersey City, NJ 07302 646.662.2797 www.nyc-jc.com Swank Properties Boston Apartment Rentals 675 VFW Parkway, Suite 161 Chestnut Hill, MA 02467 888.303.2772 www.swank-properties.com

PHOTOGRAPHERS

RETAIL

Deb Lindsey Photography Potomac, MD 301.765.2075 deb@deblindsey.com www.deblindsey.com

Cashel House Gifts Celtic and Irish Gifts 224 Tompkins Street Syracuse, NY 13204 315.472.4438 www.CashelHouseGifts.com

Facets Photography & Design Brenda Colton & Associates work throughout NY, MA, CT & NJ. 518.365.1125 www.facetsphoto.com Monica Everdyke Photography PO Box 388 Clay, NY 13041 315.380.7791 www.monicaeverdykephoto.com mje@monicaeverdykephoto.com Stuart Gallagher Photography Fine Photography/prints for sale 315.663.7811 sdgallagher@gmail.com www.stugallagherphotography.com

Tastefully Simple by Linda Rodman Congrats NYS on Marriage Equality!

315.668.1011 linneelou@yahoo.com http://www.tastefullysimple.com/web/lrodman TRAVEL Plymouth & Brockton Street Railway Co. “America’s Most Experienced Bus Line” 8 Industrial Park Road Plymouth, MA 02360 508-746-0378 www.P-B.com

OTHER

For a complete list of Pride organizations in the US, click to www.connextionsmagazine.com/ pride.html

Justice Served Paper Processing Upstate New York 315.657.4830 www.justiceservedpaperprocessing.weebly.com

PUBLICATIONS/ DIRECTORIES/ RESOURCES

Mr. Gay Canada www.mrgaycanada.blogspot.com

REAL ESTATE Realty USA Lisa SparksWatson 401 North Main Street North Syracuse, NY 13212 315.409.3020 http://LisaSparksWatson.RealtyUSA.com NAGLREP National Association of Gay & Lesbian Real Estate Professionals www.naglrep.com

from the top:

Magnus Johnsson Mr. Gay Iceland Charl Van Den Berg Mr. Gay World 2010

PRIDE ORGANIZATIONS

Unexpected Media Group, LLC www.exploretheunexpected.com

stugallagherphotography.com

Mr. Gay World USA www.mrgayworldusa.com Rev. Vernon Diannah Porter 10 BB Seashore Park Drive Provincetown, MA 02657 508.487.7198 http://gayfriendlybiz.com/new/ gay-and-lesbian-weddings-inprovincetown

Jarl Haugedal Founder Mr. Gay USA Michael Holtz Mr. Gay USA 2011 1st Runner-up Mr. Gay World 2011

facebook.com/mrgayworldusa

1 1 0 2 Pride

Special Edition

Legendary

Lori Michaels

performs at 20th Anniversary Jersey Pride

Connextions Magazine is contributing to the documented history of LGBT in America.

Special Edition “Pride 2011� will feature photos and information from every annual pride celebration in US. A wonderful historical account for LGBT community members to browse and a useful tool for businesses to tap in.

To view the calendar style listing of every annual pride celebration in the US or learn more about the publication, click: www.ConnextionsMagazine.com/pride.html