F R I E D G A S -S TAT I O N P ICKLE R ECIPE re you a blossoming chef with just three ego-boosting recipes under your belt? Are you a connoisseur of gas station ingredients? Are you just plain hungry? Oh, boy, do I have just the thing for you! I’m something of a chef myself, you see. I’ve successfully saved many a meringue and lasagna from melted plastic
lids. (Who knew plastic melts in the microwave? I blame our public school system.) Anyway, a few nights ago, full on plastic-and-tomato sauce, I popped a melatonin and laid back, and must’ve drifted into a dream, because suddenly everything went dark, and a loud, enveloping voice was chanting in my ears a list of the ingredients:
• One hot pickle • 4 oz. cream cheese • One egg • Two half-bags of uncovered corn chips in the pantry • Three sticks string cheese • 1 tbsp EVOO olive oil (leftover bacon grease is OK) • One sticky slushie • Two energy drinks
Written by Rachel Carp Illustrated by Katsy Garcia
Now I know what you’re thinking. Just eight items? But I don’t question The Voice and neither should you. In my dream, I saw the items emerge from the dark, spun around and came to rest on a white table. “This isn’t your mother’s cooking,” the pickle said. “You’re on your own now,” the three string cheeses said in prophetic unison. One of the energy drinks presented itself to me and I drank it. I tasted flavors I had never tasted before. The ingredients on the table chanted in a language I couldn’t hear but understood all the same. This is the gift I am bringing to you. Found in every gas station in the country. All you have to do … is listen and taste. And drive. And pay.