June 2016 Builder by Congregation Beth Am

THE BETH AM

june 2016 iyar / sivan 5776

Celebrate Shavuot An All-Night Community Learning Extravaganza Hosted by Kol Emeth

in this issue:

Sat u r d a y, J u n e 1 1 , 8 P. M . C o n g r e g at i o n K o l E meth 4 1 7 5 M a n u e l a A v e . , P a l o A lt o

Join the local Jewish community in celebrating Shavuot at our annual Tikkun Leil Shavuot (all-night study session) with activities for all ages. What more appropriate way to celebrate the receiving of the Torah than by studying Torah all night long? Local rabbis and educators will offer a variety of teaching sessions throughout the night, in addition to opportunities for prayer, schmoozing and blintzes.

Rabbi Golan Ben-Chorin page 3

B e i n g a Wo m a n R a b b i : A Mother-Daughter Dialogue page 3

Visit www.kolemeth.org for the most up-todate schedule and full listing of classes. general schedule n 8 p.m. Rabbinic Panel Discussion n 9:15 p.m. Shavuot Evening Services n 10 p.m. - 5 a.m. Dynamic Learning Sessions (with rabbis and teachers from the community) n 1:30 a.m. Blintzes! n 5 a.m. Sunrise Shacharit Service for families with children n 7:15 - 8 p.m. Shavuot for Tots (ages 2-5) n 8 - 8:45 p.m. Shavuot for Kids (K-7th Grade): Family service including the Ten Commandments Torah reading n 8:45 - 10 p.m. Shavuot late-night learning for kids, including crepes

cele b r a t e u n d e r t he t r ee :

Shabbat Outdoors F r i d a y s , J u ly 1 t h r o u g h A u g u s t 2 6 6 : 1 5 P. M . , O u t d o o r C h a p e l

Engaging with I s ra e l o n C a m p u s page 8

Summer worship outdoors is a tradition at Beth Am, giving congregants an opportunity to appreciate the natural beauty of our campus. If you wish, feel free to bring friends and enjoy a picnic dinner before or after the service. Below is a listing of summer outdoor services as well as our featured congregant speakers: July August Prospective Member Month 1 Debbie Mukamal 5 Equal Start Speaker Russ Lehrman 8 Rachel Gibson 12 Greg Marcus 15 Rebecca Whitman 19 Beth Am Women Speaker Nancy Federman 22 Micaela Hellman-Tincher (service followed by Tu Bâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Av event with Beth Am Â Men 29 Bruce Ives and wine & chocolate!) 26 Camp Shabbat - Welcoming new staff *Prospective member Shabbat (service followed by dinner and an ice cream social) every Friday in August.

From Rabbi Janet Marder Saying Kaddish first yahrzeit My mother’s first yahrzeit far from Jerusalem among the green islands of western Canada. Forgetful water and remembering water mingle at the shore, high tide and ebb tide are also a continuous flow, continuous and eternal life. An eagle circles above, like a lonely soul, and my mother never saw an eagle. Standing up for the one you love.

Here beneath myriads of trees and myriads of clouds that have joined me for a minyan I say kaddish. One can say kaddish in any place and one can say kaddish even after the resurrection of the dead. Even should my mother sit opposite me at the table, little and bent, I would still mourn her death before her eyes and say kaddish to her ears. — From The Poetry of Yehuda Amichai, edited by Robert Alter The experience of death evokes both solitude and solidarity. Death is a universal experience; sooner or later, we all endure the loss of loved ones. Yet death is also something we go through alone. No one else knows the particular mix of emotions that wash over us as we gradually come to realize that we are never again going to see or hear or touch a person who was once indispensable to our life. Death is both shared and singular; acknowledged in public ways yet intensely personal and private. How do we mourn? Judaism offers us the gifts of ritual and tradition — structured ways of coming to accept loss, taking time to grieve, and slowly renewing our attachment to life. When we feel most alone and disoriented, Judaism offers communal support — friends and fellow congregants show up to remind us that we are not alone, demonstrating through their compassionate presence that we are valued and cared for. Our natural tendency after a devastating loss is to isolate ourselves from others. The tradition ensures that we know the comfort of human contact, even when we cannot think clearly enough to realize that we need it. Jewish mourning is structured as a gradual return to normal life. During the first few days after a death — called aninut, meaning “intense mourning” — those who have suffered loss are often in shock. At this time of deepest grief, tradition teaches that we should not even attempt to offer words of comfort, for our words would be hollow. The common Western customs of viewing the body and visitation prior to burial are alien to traditional Jewish practice. During shivah, the first seven days after the funeral, mourners are encouraged to “sit” with the death — to take time to absorb what has happened rather than rushing back to work or other responsibilities. Mourners may or may not prefer to have friends and

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community gather with them during this time of shivah. Some are overwhelmed by the presence of too big a crowd at a time when they feel fragile and physically drained. Others find it deeply comforting to have the opportunity to remember their loved one aloud in the presence of sympathetic listeners — looking at photos, telling stories, laughing, crying, expressing sadness or anger, reflecting on unanswered questions; trying to assimilate the meaning of the life that has been lost. At the end of shivah, the mourning family traditionally takes a walk around the block to symbolize their return to the world. They resume work and many aspects of normal life, though many refrain from big parties and celebrations throughout shloshim, the first thirty days after the funeral. Some follow the tradition of gathering with family and close friends to mark the end of shloshim — again, addressing the mourners’ sense of bereavement and loneliness by bringing them into contact with others. During the first year, those who are mourning close relatives (spouses, parents, children or siblings) often say Kaddish every day or every week at Shabbat services. Generally, as the first year of mourning comes to an end, friends and family come together to mark the “unveiling” — the dedication of a stone at the grave, where stories and reminiscences are shared once again, to keep alive the spirit of the person who has died. Throughout the first year of loss, these acts help us balance our need to remain attached to a person we love with an equally powerful need: to re-engage with life and to cherish the gifts still present in our life. At the first yahrzeit [lit. “year’s time”], and at every anniversary of death thereafter, we light a candle — symbol of the warmth and radiance of a human soul — that burns for 24 hours, often placing it next to a picture of the person who has died. Many Jews follow the practice of giving tzedakah on each yahrzeit of a loved one, so that his or her goodness continues to be felt in the world, and as a way of transmuting loss into something positive. There is also a public aspect of yahrzeit: on every anniversary of a loved ones’ death, all mourners are encouraged to come to synagogue to say Kaddish with the congregation. Each Friday night at Beth Am we read a list of those who are remembered, and invite those who are honoring a specific individual to rise in tribute as the name is read, before the whole congregation stands to share the words of Kaddish. Yehuda Amichai is right — a person can say Kaddish and remember a loved one anywhere. But when you receive the notice that we’ll be saying Kaddish for your loved one, I hope you will come on Friday night to participate in this mitzvah with the congregation. Why? Because no one can honor your loved one better than you.

b e t h am w elcomes

Rabbi Golan Ben-Chorin S a t u r d a y, J u n e 2 5 : T o r a h S t u d y, 9 A . M . ; To r a h M i n ya n, 10:15 A .M., B e i t K e h i l l a h

Rabbi Golan Ben-Chorin Ed.D., a third generation Israeli Reform spiritual leader and a Doctor of Education, is the founding Rabbi of Rosh Pina Reform Congregation (RPRC). In collaboration with a dynamic group of lay leaders, Golan’s experiential teaching approach, soulful practices, musical talent and “Midrashic” worldview created a vibrant startup community pioneering Reform Judaism in Israel’s northern periphery. Established just over four years ago in an original Israeli agricultural village situated south of Safed, RPRC focuses on enhancing mindful and meaningful Jewish living. This pluralistic community supports a variety of traditional and contemporary expressions, offering egalitarian Judaism in Rosh Pina and the entire Galilee region. Join Rabbi Golan Ben-Chorin at Beth Am as he leads Torah Study, followed by Torah Minyan in partnership with Beth Am’s Rabbi Jonathan Prosnit.

je w i sh F i lm S e r i es P r esen t s

Out in the Dark Film Is Free; Refreshments Will Be Served S a t u r d a y, J u n e 1 8 , 3 : 3 0 P. M . , B e i t K e h i l l a h

Nimer, an ambitious Palestinian student in the West Bank, dreams of a better life abroad. One fateful night in Tel Aviv, he meets Roy, an Israeli lawyer, and the two fall in love. As their relationship deepens, they are both confronted with the harsh realities of a Palestinian society that refuses to accept Nimer for his sexual identity, and an Israeli society that rejects him for his nationality. Out in the Dark, the directorial debut of Michael Mayer, is as much a political and societal commentary as it is an original romantic story. Compelling and intimate, the drama follows a border-crossing relationship between Roy and an increasingly desperate Nimer. .

beth am israel awareness committee presents a mother-daughter dialogue:

Being a Woman Rabbi With Rabbi Janet & Rachel Marder sunday, june 26, 3:30 p.m., Beit Kehillah

Celebrate the publication of The Sacred Calling: Four Decades of Women in the Rabbinate. In this pathbreaking anthology, rabbis and scholars from across the Jewish world reflect on the historic significance of women in the rabbinate and explore the ways in which women rabbis have impacted all aspects of Jewish life, including congregational culture, liturgical development, life cycle ritual, the Jewish healing movement, spirituality, theology and more. The collection includes an essay about what it’s like to grow up as the daughter of a woman rabbi by Rachel Marder, currently a rising fourth-year rabbinic student in the Conservative movement. Join Rabbi Janet and Rachel for a mother-daughter discussion about women in the rabbinate then and now, and the changing face of Jewish life in America. Learn more about the book online at bit.ly/SacredCalling. This program is co-sponsored by Beth Am Women and Beth Am’s Library Committee. Everyone is welcome!

Café Israel With Israeli Professor & Film Director/Screenwriter Ariel Revel Scene from “Hidden Genes”

S a t u r d a y, J u n e 4 , 7 : 3 0 P. M . , B e i t K e h i l l a h

. Professor Ariel Revel is a Hadassah physician on sabbatical at Stanford. He specializes in reproductive endocrinology and infertility in the department of Obstetrics and Gynecology. His interest in film has led him to enroll as a cinema student at Hebrew University. He has worked on two short films; the first is A Moment to Takeoff (2010) which Dr. Revel co-wrote the screenplay for, and the second is Hidden Genes (2015) which he wrote and directed. Café Israel is sponsored by the Beth Am Israel Awareness Committee.

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M o n d a y

T u e s d a y

Wednesday AM

Sunday

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AM PM

PreCamp Day 11:00 Adult Hebrew Level F 5:30 Development Committee 6:15 Adult Hebrew Level B 7:30 Adult Hebrew Level A

11:00 Adult Hebrew Level F

5:45 Prayerbo 6:30 Ballroom 7:00 Adult He 7:00 Preschool

6:15

3:30 Being a Woman Rabbi: A Mother-Daughter Dialogue

Adult Hebrew Level A2

11:00 Adult Hebrew Level F 6:15 7:30

Yad l’Yad Appreciation

8:00 BAM Breakfast 26 27 28 AM

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PM san francisco pride parade

Adult Hebrew Level B Adult Hebrew Level A

Adult Hebrew Level A2

5:45 Prayerbo 6:30 Ballroom 7:00 Hebrew L

Adult Hebrew Level B Adult Hebrew Level A PM

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6:15 7:30

5:45 Prayerbo 6:30 Ballroom 7:00 Adult He 7:00 BAW Boo

9:00 Camp Bet 9:00 Camp Beth Am 19 20 21 9:00 Camp Beth Am 3:00 Torah Circle

6:15 Beit R’fu 5:45 Prayerbo 6:30 Ballroom 7:00 Adult He 7:30 BAM Pho

PreCamp Day

Shavuot Festival & Yizkor Service

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9:00 Camp Beth Am: 9:00 Camp Beth Am: 12 13 14 9:00 Camp Bet AM

shavuot

11:00 Adult Hebrew Level F 6:15 Adult Hebrew Level B 7:30 Adult Hebrew Level A 7:30 BAW Rosh Chodesh

Adult Hebrew Level A2

2:30 Israel on Campus Program 3:00 Poltava Music Event

9:30 Madrichim Training 10:00 Gan Haggim

J u ne 2 0 1 6

Congregation Beth Am

6:30 Ballroom 7:00 BAW Bo featuring 7:30 Equal Sta

Friday

Café Israel

10 5:00 Lay-Led Gates of Prayer 5:15 Tot Shabbat 6:15 Shabbat Service

8:30 Bagels and Coffee 9:00 Torah Study 10:15 Torah Minyan 7:30

erev shavuot

12:00 Talmud 1:30 Jewish Spirituality Class 6:15 Adult Hebrew Level E 6:45 Tinnitus Support Group 7:30 Advanced Conv. Hebrew 7:30 Board Meeting

5:00 Lay-Led Gates of Prayer 5:30 Akselrad Speaker Meet & Greet 6:15 Tizmoret Service with Akselrad Speaker: Sister Judy Donovan 7:30 Oneg Israel

8:00 Thursday Morning Minyan 9:00 Adult Hebrew Level A 9:00 Yoga for Israel 10:30 Adult Hebrew Level C

12:00 Talmud 1:30 Jewish Spirituality Class 7:00 BAW Board Meeting 7:00 JCRC Town Hall: Race & Ecucation

S a t u r d a y

8:30 Bagels and Coffee 9:00 Torah Study 10:15 Torah Minyan 8:00 Tikkun Leil Shavuot (at Congregation Kol Emeth)

uah ook Hebrew m Dancing ebrew Level D otography Group

8:00 Thursday Morning Minyan

m Dancing ook Reading & Talk g Myra Strober art Meeting

T h u r s d a y

Calendar

12:00 Talmud 1:30 Jewish Spirituality Class 6:15 Adult Hebrew Level E 7:00 BAW Chai Mitzvah 7:00 Knitzvah Circle 7:30 Advanced Conv. Hebrew

5:00 Lay-Led Gates of Prayer 6:15 Shabbat Service In the Round (Board Installation) 7:30 Building Bridges Shabbat Dinner

9:00 Camp Beth Am 9:00 Adult Hebrew Level A 10:30 Adult Hebrew Level C PM

AM PM

ook Hebrew m Dancing ebrew Level D ok Club Meeting

9:00 Camp Beth Am 8:00 Thursday Morning 8:30 Bagels and Coffee 15 16 17 18 th Am Minyan 9:00 Torah Study 10:15 Torah Minyan 10:30 Bat Mitzvah Service: Sanders 10:30 Friendship Minyan 3:30

Jewish Film Series: Out in the Dark

12:00 Talmud 1:30 Jewish Spirituality Class 6:15 Adult Hebrew Level E 7:30 Advanced Conv. Hebrew 7:30 Executive Committee Meeting

6:15

Shabbat Service

8:00 Thursday Morning 29 30

ook Hebrew m Dancing Level D

Minyan 9:00 Adult Hebrew Level A 10:30 Adult Hebrew Level C

12:00 Talmud 1:30 Jewish Spirituality Class 6:15 Adult Hebrew Level E 7:30 Advanced Conv. Hebrew

5:00 Lay-Led Gates of Prayer

Minyan 9:00 Camp Beth Am 9:00 Adult Hebrew Level A 10:30 Adult Hebrew Level C

ook Hebrew m Dancing ebrew Level D l Connections Meeting

8:00 Thursday Morning 8:30 Bagels and Coffee th Am 22 23 24 25 9:00 Camp Beth Am

For a more detailed calendar visit www.betham.org

9:00 Torah Study with Rabbi Golan Ben-Chorin 9:15 Tot Shabbat 10:15 Torah Minyan led by Rabbi Golan Ben-Chorin 10:30 B’not Mitzvah Service: King/Goodman 5:00 Camp Beth Am

A N ot e f r o m th e P r e si d e nt

A Chosen Person When we joined Beth Am, I was the “mixed” part of our mixed marriage. Indeed, part of the reason we chose to come here was because at Beth Am, I was never made to feel like the synagogue was doing me a favor by tolerating my presence, or that I was a compromise that they would endure because they were really after my children. I was welcome to join in worship and learning. I was embraced as a treasured part of the community. I didn’t really talk about the fact that I was still technically a Unitarian — I was in the closet, so to speak. But when it did come up, responses were more curious surprise than shock and disdain. I was comfortable with my interfaith status. That all changed in 2001. It was the time of the Second Intifada. It seemed like every week there was another bombing in Israel, another attack. A discotheque in Tel Aviv. The Sbarro pizza restaurant in Jerusalem. A family at a bus stop. Somehow, this far-off news really got to me. I was a wreck; I couldn’t concentrate. At work, I would close my office door and scan the internet for news. I was distracted and upset. Why was this bothering me so much? Why did I care? I wasn’t Israeli; I didn’t even know anyone in Israel. And yet I was reacting as if my family was under attack. That’s when it hit me. It was my family. Somehow, when I wasn’t paying attention, I had crossed a bridge and become a Jew in my heart. Nothing was official, of course. But I realized at that moment that I had cast my lot with the Jewish people, that at some deep level, I considered myself a Jew, whether on a peaceful Shabbat or in a period of international crisis. That’s when I decided to convert: to take the last step (or was it the first?) to formally recognize who I had become. Read more at www.betham.org/Chosen. L’Shalom, Loree Farrar President@betham.org

Jeff Greenwald MEM B ER SPOTLIGHT

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Jeff Greenwald has been a member of Congregation Beth Am since 1972, when he was a freshman at Stanford University. Rabbi Emeritus Sidney Akselrad (z”l) asked him to teach kindergarten, and Jeff had to admit that he did not even know how old a kindergartener was. Helen Bessler, the other kindergarten teacher, took him under her wing. Jeff has been teaching at Beth Am on and off ever since then. He counts 36 years as a teacher in Beth Am Youth Education Programs. The only grade that he has not taught is sixth grade. The most valuable lesson Jeff has learned from teaching at Beth Am is that a meaningful relationship with one student can make a profound difference in that person’s life. The Beth Am community has supported Jeff at critical and important milestones in his life, such as

Nourish Your Mind and Spirit:

Friday, July 22 to Sunday, July 24, Asilomar Conference Grounds, Pacific Grove, CA

Spend a relaxing and inspiring weekend on the Monterey Peninsula. Study under the pines, enjoy a Shabbat stroll on the beach and schmooze with friends old and new. The Asilomar adult study retreat is not to be missed! This year’s theme is “Judaism: Evolution and Revolution,” focusing on how our beliefs have changed over time. Please download, complete and return the registration form available at www.betham.org/ Asilomar2016 by Monday, June 20, 2016. For information about scholarships, please contact Rachel Tasch at rachel_tasch@betham.org or Rabbi Marder at rabbi_marder@betham.org.

when his daughters each became Bat Mitzvah and after the deaths of relatives. He notes that at the time of these life cycle events, the Beth Am community was always supportive and present. When asked what Beth Am means to him, Jeff replied, “Beth Am is family, generational continuity and serenity.”

Jeff Greenwald (left) with his family

Serving Our Jewish Community Since 1850:

Does Your Employer Have a:

Hills of Eternity Memorial Park

Matching Gift Program?

Invited Perspective by Benjamin Ruhs, Hills of Eternity Funeral Director & Cemeterian Judaism views death as a natural part of life. At Hills of Eternity Memorial Park, we honor the two basic principles that are part of this natural life cycle: n k’vod ha-mayt — the dignified and respectful treatment of the dead. n k’vod he-chai — the honored treatment of the mourners. 3600 years ago, Abraham faced the heartbreaking task of burying his beloved wife, Sarah, and acquired a site in the area of Hebron, about 18 miles south of Jerusalem. This was actually the first recorded purchase in the Torah, at a price of 400 silver shekels. We modern Jews follow our Patriarchs’ examples in burying and honoring the dead. Shortly after the first Jewish settlers joined in San Francisco’s Gold Rush era, they purchased land for a cemetery on Vallejo Street in the new city of San Francisco. In 1860, Congregation Sherith Israel dedicated their second cemetery in the area that is now graced by the beautiful Dolores Park. When San Francisco’s booming growth encouraged relocation outside the city, Congregation Sherith Israel dedicated Hills of Eternity Memorial Park at the foot of the San Bruno Mountain in 1889. In 1955 when Congregation Beth Am was established, the founders had the foresight to find a necessary burial ground for the growing Jewish community along the San Francisco Peninsula. In 1960, Beth Am established a private section at Hills of Eternity Memorial Park, and adorned the area with a magnificent 30-foot tall sculpture of a Havdalah candle made of bronze and stained glass, created by architect Goody Steinberg (z”l). For over 50 years, members of Congregation Beth Am have entrusted the permanent care of their loved ones to Hills of Eternity Memorial Park. So the next time you take a drive north, consider visiting Hills of Eternity Memorial Park to take a tour of the park and gardens. You will learn something about the history of the local Jewish community and the sense of tikkun olam that inspired these pioneers. Partake in the mitzvah of placing a stone on a loved one’s grave or even that of a stranger. You will leave with a warm feeling in your heart and neshama (soul). If you’d like to learn more or make an appointment, please contact me, Benjamin Ruhs, at (650) 755-4700. .

You might be missing out on free money for Beth Am! Corporate matching gift programs are designed to support employee charitable giving, by matching donations made by their employees to qualifying nonprofits. Approximately 2/3 of companies with matching gift programs match employee donations to nearly any 501(c)(3) organization or educational institution. That could mean that your contributions to Beth Am for dues or general donations (tuition and events are excluded), could be doubled or more — corporate matching can range from 50 cents on the dollar all the way up to 4:1, quadrupling your original donation! And most employers make the process very easy for you, the donor. Check your company’s matching gift policy to see if you can generate additional support for Beth Am today!

Professional Development Program Takes Off:

Equal Start’s professional development program is off and running. Our exciting new initiative is the creation and implementation of a short course for teachers and aides at the Ravenswood Child Development Center (CDC) in East Palo Alto. This course is being taught by an educator from Cañada College and is geared toward training preschool teachers in a playbased philosophy. This need was identified by Ravenswood CDC and the San Mateo County Office of Education. Play-based learning, an educational philosophy that allows young children to develop social and cognitive skills through the world around them, is seen by many educators as an important part of preschool learning. This series of courses is a program that the County Office and the CDC are eager to implement. Simply put, this exciting course would not have happened without the hard work of Beth Am’s Equal Start team, who recognized the need to kick start this programming through deep conversations and strong relationships with people at the CDC. Equal Start is funding the course. Our team helped create the relationship between Cañada College and Ravenswood CDC, and Beth Am volunteers are taking the course alongside teachers and aides. It’s an amazing step that demonstrates how much we care for all of our community’s young people. Equal Start is Beth Am’s social justice initiative to provide highquality early learning opportunities for every child. Learn more about getting involved with the Equal Start initiative at www.betham.org/EqualStart.

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Israel on Campus A Special Event for High School Seniors and Their Parents

Sunday, June 5, 2:30 to 4:30 P.M., Beit Kehillah

All high school students who are preparing to head off to college are invited to an important discussion about how Judaism and Israel fit into their lives on campus. We will be joined by Karen Stiller, Director of the Middle East Project of the Jewish Community Relations Council (JCRC) of San Francisco, who will discuss the charged climate around Israel on campus today, help students feel better grounded in their knowledge about Israel, and offer productive strategies for talking about Israel with fellow students. RSVP for this event to Rabbi Heath Watenmaker at rabbi_watenmaker@betham.org.

Family Camping Trip Online Registration Open F r i d a y t o S u n d a y, J u ly 2 9 t o 3 1 , Portola Redwoods S tat e Pa r k

Find out how much fun camping can be at the 14th annual Beth Am Family Camping Trip. Get ready for lots of fun with a chance to enjoy Jewish community and experience God in nature. We have reserved a group campsite for Friday and Saturday nights. You can join us for both or just one night, or you can even just come for the day. We’ll provide the campsites, breakfasts and of course, s’mores! First-time campers are welcome. There are bathrooms with running water and drinking water available at multiple places around the campground. Sign up now to ensure your spot — priority will be determined by receipt of your registration fee. The cost is $15/person per night. For example, a family of four will cost $60 per night (which includes campsite registration), Saturday and Sunday breakfast foods, and hot dogs for the Saturday night potluck (more information and signups for the potluck will follow). Space is limited and registration is first-come, first-served. To register, please visit the members area of the Beth Am website at www.betham.org/members and sign up for the trip under “Event Registration.”

For more info visit www.betham.org • Please “Like us” on Facebook and “Follow Us” on Twitter!