Fi 1m 17
Don't Say a Word:
Directed by Gary Felder Starring: Michael Douglas and Brittany Murphy
Unhappy? Depressed? Fee'l 1i ke you¡ re going crazy? Don't worry. Console yourself with the fact that you're not nearly as mad as Brittany Murphy in this lopsided plot-boiler lt has been said that if a thousand monkeys typed for a thousand years, they would eventually write out the whole works of Shakespeare. What they fail to add though is in the first five minutes they would be able to nail out a rough draft of the Hollywood thriller Don't Say A Word. This film is mediocracy in Its purest form. When psychiatrist Conrad's (Michael Douglas) daughter is kidnapped by an evil, evil terrorist (Sean Bean) he has but a few hours to break through to a catatonic woman (Brittany Murphy) and retrieve a number. Nathan is forced to break the rules (i.e. driving fast down a road in his range-rover) and perform some sexy, sexy speed psychiatry. But how are the kidnappers watching him? How far will he have to go to get the number? What does the number represent? Who cares? ... Not mel To his credit, Gary Felder manages to narrowly avoid any original idea. He desperately wants to be David Fincher, with his sexy, sexy camera work. His previous film outing Kiss the Girls was only just a pseudo-Se7en run-of-the-mill movie. And this film fares only a little better, despite a pretty darn good looking cast. Brittany Murphy shines as the schizophrenic child; the underrated Oliver Platt fills out his part admirably; Famke Janssen takes the Jimmy Stuart role as the sexy, sexy wife stuck in bed with a broken leg; Jennifer Esposito, though given a lame part as the police officer chasing Nathan down, is still seemingly waiting for her A-list call-up; and Michael Douglas just spends the time looking more and more like his father everyday. Still, I suppose it keeps him out of Wales and away from our women. Sean Bean also appears in the film as an evil terrorist .... So perhaps not all the casting was inspired. So why is the film so mediocre? Well let me cite a few scenes for the prosecution: 1) A scene which cuts between Conrad attempting to form a bond with his patient to retrieve the number and another scene featuring his kidnapped eight-year-old child attempting to form a bond with the bearded terrorist who is guarding her. The girl is only eight years old and she is using advanced psychiatric techniques. 2) A scene in which Conrad's wife is watching Steve lrwin 'Crocodile hunter' on television get-
ting attacked by a hostile scorpion- meanwhile a man is sneaking up to attack her. Indeed, it is she that assumes the role of the scorpion, attacking her attacker. Mmmm ... in a sense, she ultimately kills Steve lrwin ... But in a way, haven't we all killed Steve lrwin at one time or another? So are there any above average points to the movie? Well I think Michael Douglas sums it up perfectly in his opening lines
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5/10
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Hearts 1n Atlant is: •
"Everybody does it, I mean your best friends do it, the mailman does it, the science wizz, even the headmaster- they all whack off". And I believe that this is the true theme of this film. A pile of wank. Still, at least it hasn't got John Travolta in it. Zac Walsh
Directed by Scott Hicks Starring: Anthony Hopkinsand Anton Yelchin
Yet another coming of age film set against the backdrop of that fondly remembered golden summer, where epiphanies were gained, innocence was lost and the world changed forever. Hearts in Atlantis is the latest in a growing sub-genre of nostalgic period films based on the limited selection of 'nice' Stephen King stories. lt has nothing new to offer. If you've seen The Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile and/or Stand By Me there is no reason to watch this movie. If you haven't, then rent one of them instead. They are each substantially more entertaining.
Like Stand By Me and The Green Mile, Atlantis begins with a dewy-eyed guy eager to tell us about his past. When 50ish photographer Bobby Garfield (played by David Morse as an adult and Anton Yelchin as a kid) learns that two of his childhood friends have died on him, he sees the perfect opportunity to narrate a feature-length flashback about the summer of 1960 - the summer that ended his innocence but opened his eyes to the
world's possibilities ... Rather than- as you might expect- trying to remember his dead mates, most of Bob's recollections involve his experiences with Ted Brautigan (Tony Hopkins), a mysterious drifter who rents the Garfield family's upstairs room. The Garfields clearly need the money - Mr. Garfield died five years previously, leaving his wife (Hope Davis) alone with their son and a pile of unpaid bills. For his eleventh birthday, Bobby only receives a complimentary library card. With constant offers of root beer and an inexhaustible supply of obliquely relevant classical quotations, Ted appears to be an ideal father figure for the boy . He offers sage advice on women ("that first kiss is the one by which all others will be judged") and intervenes when Bobby falls foul of the local bullies. Their growing bond is placed in jeopardy, however, as suspicion grows that Ted is a psychic on the run from the C.I.A . What slight appeal the film does possess can be attributed entirely to the adult cast members (the child actors' contribute mainly by reminding the viewer just how exceptional Haley Joel Osment is). After the high camp of Hannibal, Hopkins reverts to the other end of his extensive range , acting mainly with his eyes. Davis works wonders with the standard King character of 'bad though essentially loving parent.' But the excesses of Scott Hicks' direction and William Goldman's script swamp all their good work . Did Hicks have to bathe every scene in the golden light of a fading afternoon? Goldman (it seems inconceivable that the same man wrote such classics as Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and The Princess Bride) appears so intent on leaving us cheerful that he tries to turn a baseball bat beating into a feel-good moment. His failure to connect the audience to the characters is such that, when the sentimental score begins to swell, it actually comes as a shock that we were supposed to care. Hearts in Atlantis is so awash with poignant, bitter-sweet nostalgia that it drowns within the first half-hour, leaving the audience stuck watching the bloated corpse of a trip down memory lane. Jlm Whalley
~/J.J
Wednesday, February 27, 2002
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