LIFESTYLE
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The war of the Advent adverts The ultimate question is: who wins the battle for the best Christmas advert of 2011? Freya Barry Lifestyle Editor “Build it and they will come,” so opens one of the most repulsive and offensive Christmas adverts ever. Give us back Kerry Katona and seasonal hoisin duck dips, and all is forgiven. Instead we are presented with a Christmas dystopia. The setting is a provincial town somewhere in middle England, with Freddie Flintoff as our guide and the creator of this strangely authoritarian market place. Is the England cricketer really the first thing people think
of at Christmas? It only gets worse from here. Like a Christmas Pied Piper, dancing to the tune of Take That with many very irritating children in tow, Freddie tours us around the market place. While being surrounded by unbearably irritating children may be festive, the “Christmas quiche” Freddie is reminded by one of the sprogs to buy is most definitely not. The world envisioned by this advert becomes increasingly sinister with a mixture of Bruce Forsyth, the butchering of the Italian language and the fact that “Turkeys are only available until 20 December.” Under
the tyrannical rule of Freddie Flintoff, last minute buying is not an option. However, even this grotesque image of Christmas cannot cannot be worse than the hymn to consumerism that is the the Littlewoods advert. This advert contains ill-advised rapping, more incredibly irritating small children and gratitude towards their lovely mums, who placated their nearest and dearest with gadgets and trinkets. In the light of the recession this message of showing familial love through the purchasing of expensive gifts is tasteless and offensive. Bah, humbug.
www.concrete-online.co.uk Tuesday 6th December 2011 - Issue 262
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Have an Appy Christmas Lifestyle writer Emma Williamson counts down the top ten Christmas apps bringing cheer to iPhones in 2011
1.
Impress your family this year with the latest kitchen gadget, TurkeyTimer. This app will not only time your turkey, but will also track the approximate internal temperature and how close it is to being cooked (£0.69)
2.
Santa Tracker 2011 functions as both a countdown to Christmas and a “tracker” of Father Christmas’ journey. From 11am on 24 December, users can follow Santa’s journey across the globe, tracing his deliveries via his carefully devised route (£1.49)
3.
Yet to be released, Apple’s annual 12 Days of Christmas offers users a free download from iTunes every day between 26 December and 6 January. Previous years have offered films, music videos, games and music (Free)
4.
Robot Unicorn Attack Christmas Edition. A unicorn, The Darkness and an arctic landscape. This seasonal twist on the infamous Robot Unicorn Attack game will entertain 365 days a year (£0.69)
5. Jess Beech Lifestyle Writer Despite all the other signs that Christmas is on its way, it is never truly here until that tubby man in a red suit hits the TV aboard his Coca-Cola truck. With advertising this strong, we are all inclined to throw down our mulled wine for a glass of Coke, and those crafty geniuses even managed to persuade Santa to swap his green suit for red. This year, to excite us even more, they are sending a Coca-Cola Christmas truck around England, which will be hitting Norwich Riverside. This year John Lewis has released a competitor for most iconic advert. Love it or hate it,
it’s been said to make even grown men cry, and caused a heated debate. For those of you who have not seen it, the advert tells the story of a little boy’s impatience as he waits for Christmas Day. Including, amongst other things, lots of stroppy faces, table tapping and staring out of windows. The best part of the advert has to be the many adorable dressing-up outfits, the Gruffalo being a favourite. While the music does fall on the very thin line between dramatic and creepy, it is hard when watching it not to be reminiscent of a time when Father Christmas was real and December meant pure excitement, not coursework deadlines. Although the advert sparks nostalgia and is undeniably
cute, the Christmas reality for this writer was not about sharing. Christmas was about demanding the entire Argos catalogue and then playing with the boxes of presents. It was not about giving presents to other people. Either way, the advert gives a heartwarming Christmas message, which maybe I should take on board now that I am a bit older and wiser. My favourite advert this year is Marks and Spencer, simply for their skilful editing in managing to remove and replace the X Factor contestants. It had to be done though, because let’s face it, the image of Frankie Cocozza with coke up his nose really does not scream Granny and Grandad’s Christmas presents.
Elf Ur Face and those of your friends with this fantastic free app from TinyCo. Adornments include Santa hats, red noses and gingerbread men. What better way is there to embarrass your loved ones? (Free or £0.69 for Elf Ur Face Pro)
6. 7.
With over 60 festive recipes, Great British Chefs – Feastive HD is a great accessory to the Christmas kitchen (£1.99)
Reminders comes installed on i0S5 and serves as a valuable tool to the savvy seasonal shopper, functioning as a wish list as well as a shopping list. (Free)
8.
Amazon Mobile places all of Amazon’s conveniences in the palm of your hand. Allowing free browsing, purchases and order tracking, this app certainly eases the pressure of the festive rush (Free)
9.
MyVoucherCodes is an indispensable app for your Christmas shopping. Using GPS, this app locates the closest deals to the user, including 10% off Hotel Chocolat and Menkind (Free)
10.
Finally, if you over indulge this season Calorie Counter and Diet Tracker by MyFitnessPal is a fantastic aid to losing those extra pounds (Free)