Cotattt Wednesday, February 26, 2003
Housing Guide
www.concrete-online.co.uk
Page 3
ize matters •••
lt's that time of year when you need to decide exactly who you like and who you pretend to like. Harsh, but definitely true. You may find you like all of them, or just a c~uple. But which is best? Big house or small house? We present the case for and against... · "If you ever have a quandary, there are five opinions to mull over."
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"Why take two friends with you when you can take five."
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© Claire Burwell n the 1st year, the chances are there'll be someone on your corridor whom you really don't want to have to share a kitchen or a · civil word with. lt seems inevitable that you are going to have to live with someone unbearable at some point I suppose we were lucky. We all became firm friends from the outset and there really wasn't
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live in a house off Dereham road with two others blokes and a sheep footstool, Boris. it has a reasonably big living room considering the small capacity, but the scummy carpets, empty pizza boxes, and curtains that look like the ones my Nan threw out in '89 reveal it as a student abode. Our landlord recently informed us of a new addition to the house, Roberto, from Portugal, who has earned himself much contempt already because the vortex twister electric race track has had to be removed to make room for whatever he can squeeze into the smallest room (until previous conversions, presumably the smallest room in the other sense of the phrase as well). His heralded arrival was bad news in other respects. He has upset our carefully crafted residential atmosphere and will mean the re-allocation of telly sitting positions, cupboard space, and free bathroom time. With the loss of the smallest room, the bathroom is the only place to relieve yourself, and even as it is, the drain out back has had to be utilised, not the most pleasant of prospects on a cold January morning. When the smell of cheap curry wafts through the house after a ood thirty seconds trying to jimmy open my front door, I know JR is home. When the idle strummings of an acoustic guitar make our thin walls wobble, I know X* is waiting for the toastie machine to provide him with a heated savoury treat What uncaring person would want to break up this happy home? I like living in a small household. In a larger one there are always rifts, two or three people get very friendly, then the other two start displaying bottom lips and form a "We hate all this social politics" tag team. Eventually someone feels sorry for the duo, and moves over, creating yet more discomfort. Before very long people are forever miming removing sharp objects from their backs and shouting "I believe this knife is yours!" No, far better to have a small house. You can all assemble in the living room for a group viewing of The Simpsons and all have foot space. A snowball fight will not escalate into a budget horror flick. Being in a smaller group encourages group harmony, peace love and other Hippy stuff, after all, fall out with your housemates and a lonely pot noodle scenario looks imminent In short, small households are good, big households bad. The ideal situation has to be a few of you living in a bloody big mansion. Can you picture it? I bet it has a hot-tub and a mini bar. (*X has asked not to be named to protect the guilty)
them were in. Though we would never admit it to our parents, their teaching us to be wary of distinct (but unidentifiable) smells a·n d faulty appliances, does suddenly kick in on a house-hunt But one thing rang true ...the houses for more than three people were not as horrifying for those suffering from claustrophobia or malcoordination. More often than not, small terraced houses are cramped and have absolutely lethal staircases. The stairs are practically vertical and if you sway in after a heavy night and are faced with this veritable assault course, your chances of survival are slim. We must admit that an all female situation can sometimes turn ridiculously nasty. But surprisingly six women do not equal a bitchlest We have our problems, as does any other house, but we are generally less selfish when it comes to necessary compromise. Wlien there are more people about, you are constantly reminded of each other's needs. But if it has to be handbags-at-dawn or a
any question of our living together in the 2nd year. Why split up a great group? Why take two friends with you when you can take five? There aren't many six-person houses though ... We were all secretly terrified that all the houses would be snapped up, and we'd be left begging the Village to take us back. The thrill of finding a house for ourselves somewhat numbed us to the appalling condition some of
Mexican stand-off, I'd prefer to have space enough to run my life, without aggravating an already tense situation. But agro aside, the communal spaces in our house are big enough to comfortably sustain huge house parties. We once had a Heroes and Villains party and three teenage ninja turtles happily navigated their way to and from the drinks without a single spillage. There were 30 or so people there. A six-person house is economic. Keeping a house in heating and water is no small cost, but divided by six the odd surprise bill won't financially cripple you. The cost of a 21st birthday gift split six ways is also not a biggy. The weekly shop is cheaper if there are more of you to split the cost of a taxi and you can always make meals together. If you are missing anything from mascara to a frying pan, there's more chance of someone being able to lend it to you. I've found that with six people under one roof, there is usually someone in and available for consultation. If you ever have a quandary, there are five opinions to mull over. If you get torturously bored, there are five stores of videos to tap into. There is an ever expandingchoice of music for every mood. There is usually someone at home to tape the version of Sex and the City you have sacrificed in order to pursue Mr Probably Wrong For Me Again. I believe that larger groups are better. They relinquish their 'playground' mentality. We are less possessive of friends and less destructive within our friendships. You can't prevent people from pairing off and cooking dinner together, but you can always find someone else to talk to.
SMALL HOUSE