2 • HOUSING GUIDE Think you're time off. c ampus will be all sweetness and light? H mm, you m ight think twice after reading this ... pprehend any student on ca mpus an d ask them if they have a probl em with their house and you wi ll probably get a barrage of complaints. From damp to demented debt collectors, most students know al l about the standard probl ems of off-campus living . But let' s face it - we all know we won't be getting perfect accommodation when we sign the contract, and it co uld be a lot worse - just check out some of these housin g horror stories. Take for example the stu dents wh ose front door expanded so much in wet weather that they practi cally became prisoners in their own homes. Not unreasonably, th ey complained. Their landlord, who considered himself something of a whizz with a plaller, ca me round in an attempt to remedy the situation . And low and behold, an inch and a half later, the lucky household had gained their freedom - along with a river through their hallway whenever it rained! But, this is by no means the worst example of student water trauma. Consider the ingredients a kitchen sink blocked with a term's worth of food and a leaky tap. Not a wonderful concoction at
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any time, but combined with a long Christmas holiday it was disastrous - and very costly. The students return ed after the festive season to find their house underwater an d had to shell out £1000 - all for the pl easure of not washing up. Anoth er water-related common com plaint is damp and rot. Mould will inevitably pop up in some place in you r new home, but it's not normally too much of a problem. However, keep in mind what can happen when a landlord doesn't quite fi x up you r house properly. One young man , who's room was below the bathroom , was woken to th e sounds of water cascading down his wa ll. The room's next occupant returned to his room to find th e ceiling had collapsed and had little choice but to move out. However, the room is now occupied once more - only thi s time it is a huge one it sq uare red and white fung us that has moved in . So, while your house will probably come with a few problems they are nothing compared to what some people go through. Your house may in fact turn out to be an idyll of peace and damp-l ess harmony. But remember , if it doesn't, you have been warned ...
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~ prolet property services tudent houses seem imprinted on the collective consciousness as unpleasant stinking holes, full of unpleasant stinking students . But where does this stereotype come from? Why not blame Ben Elton? The very act of writing the Young Ones set in motion student-life stereotypes that still exist. Rick - naive poet; Vivian - violent deranged med student; Mike the sorted one and Neil - eternal vegetarian tree hugging hippy. Not only did they live in a ramshackle house, with Alexi Sayle for a landlord , but they also had to deal with 'typical ' student problems like avoiding unwanted attention from TV licence inspectors , the police - and of course the problem of living in a country run by Margaret Thatcher (hey, it was the early 80s) . Then , more recently there was The Living Soap. Cast your mind back to the mid 90s when the BBC placed a group of stud en ts into a house and fi lmed the resu lts. There was supposed to be a bit of 'real life' drama, but unfort unately th ey all got on pretty we ll - even when an argumentative bloke was put there by the BBC to 'stir thi ngs up' . In fact the only amu sing thing about the whole series was that the became a target of
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Manchester's criminal element, who could work out exactly what to steal after seeing it on telly. They didn't get too many chances though - the BBC soon pulled the show due to poor ratings . The Living Soap might have created less student stereotypes than the. Young Ones, but it did help reinforce other, different stereotypes - that students have far too much money . So what's the stereotypes score after 90 minutes? Young Ones 10 - Living Soap 1. No contest really. Stephen Quirke