the Stress of wedding planning:

BRIDEZILLA

WORDS : DESIREE ZIELKE, PH.D, LP PHOTOGRAPHY : GIN AND SAKE

You’re getting married to the love of your life. You get to have the special day you’ve been dreaming of forever — a day to celebrate your love with family and friends. But with all that celebration comes a plethora of planning. For most people, their wedding day is the largest event they ever plan. There are so many decisions to make and so many factors to consider, all while staying within a budget. Of course, planning a wedding is undeniably exciting, but it can also put you under a hefty amount of stress. Don’t worry, though, because we’ve got some tips to help manage that stress and keep it from interfering with the most magical day of your life.

No matter how big or small your wedding will be, you need help! You can hire help in the form of a wedding planner, or you can ask friends and family to contribute where they’d be most helpful. For example, I had my mother-in-law make all the table arrangements for our reception because she has incredible crafting skills. I still use those arrangements in my home today. Most people in our lives are more than happy to help but are just waiting to be asked because they don’t want to “step on anyone’s toes.” So, don’t be too afraid or too proud to ask for help.

It takes the body about three minutes of deep breathing to get its stress response levels to decrease. Practicing three minutes of deep breathing each day can help teach your body to automatically use slower breathing techniques in response to stress. You can do this on your own — just inhale deeply for four seconds, hold that breath for two seconds, and slowly exhale for six seconds. You can also find a variety of relaxation apps to guide you through breathing exercises. Deep breathing is a great skill you can use anytime and anywhere, even when that one annoying cousin is trying to steal the spotlight.

No one, literally no one, will remember if a table decoration is missing a flower or if there aren’t an equal number of cupcakes. This day is about celebrating you, your partner, and the love you have for one another, so don’t fixate on trying to put on an event that rivals the Kardashians. A simple but effective question I have every bride (and her mother) ask themselves is, “In five years from now, will I even remember (insert minor issue here)?” If the answer is no — and I promise, most of the time it is — then don’t sweat it. Move on to the next thing.

Weddings can take months (sometimes years) to plan. One moment, it seems like the big day is forever away. Then suddenly, it’s over in the blink of an eye. Remind yourself to appreciate every moment. Soak everything in and be mindful of where your mind wanders; it’s easy to focus on your to-do list or get stuck looking forward to what’s coming next, but when we do that, we miss the magic of the moment we’re in right now. And if you think about it, the only moment we’re ever in is right now, so don’t let it pass you by. Whether it’s an app, a book, an exercise, anything — there are so many ways to practice mindfulness.

This day is not your mother’s, not your motherin-law’s, not your maid of honor’s … it’s yours and your partner’s. Try to remain focused on doing what the two of you want to do, not what everyone else thinks you should do. If there’s someone you don’t want to invite, don’t invite them! If you really don’t want to serve a particular food, don’t! Make the most of your time by staying true to what the both of you want on your day. You won’t regret it.

It’s no secret that planning a wedding is a major life stressor. If you implement these tips and find you are still struggling with the stress of it all, please reach out to a mental health professional for help.

FOR MORE INFORMATION, contact us at Becoming Balanced.

Desiree Zielke, Ph.D, LP (left), Trishia Powell, MSW, LCSW (middle) and Rachel Blumhardt, MEd, LPCC, LPC, NCC (right) becomingbalancednd.com | 701-551-1840