marriages that last
BY DR. KEVIN NIEMAN
Who is God in my marriage? “I, John, take you, Mary, to be my cohabitant, to have sex with and to share bills with. I’ll be around while things are good but I probably won’t be if things get tough. If you should get a cold, I’ll run to the drugstore for some medicine. If you get sick to the point where you can no longer meet my needs, then I’ll have to move on. Forsaking many others I will be more or less faithful to you for as long as it feels good to me. If we should break up, it doesn’t mean this wasn’t special for me. I commit to live with you for as long as this works out.” The “I am god” philosophy exists in good people, just not faithful people. They will give to their marriage as long as they are benefitting but they’ll leave when the storms of life roll in. Many may choose to stay physically but divorce their spouse spiritually and emotionally, then wonder why they’re so unhappy. Happiness and contentment don’t evolve from selfishness. They or some time I’ve been contemplating a question. A question are byproducts of faithfulness and obedience. I know this may that I believe defines a path that a individual chooses to follow. sound simplistic and I’m not implying that if you acknowledge At some point, everyone must answer this defining question, “God is God” your marriage will be perfect or never endure hardship determining which fork in the road they will take. Initially, the but I am saying you’ll create a context that will allow God to work question seems very simplistic, but with closer examination you can within your marriage and you will find contentment and peace. see the significance of it. This question has eternal relevance within This contentment and peace will allow you to experience true joy any context but I’d like to specifically focus on marriage. only found in God. If you find yourself struggling with letting go and letting Who is God? God, give us a call. Cornerstone is committed to not only saving Seems pretty straight forward, doesn’t it? There are only two real marriages, but doing it God’s way. possible answers to such a question. The first is that you believe God is God or secondly, you believe you are god. Before you dismiss how absurd this sounds, hear me out. To reach an authentic answer to this question you must examine “actions,” not merely “intentions.” Dr. Kevin Nieman, LMFT Very seldom do I ever question ones intentions, but one’s actions Cornerstone Christian Counseling Services must be challenged if change is ever going to take place. We are excited about bringing hope and healing to those Maritally speaking, how one answers the above question hurting in our community, blending our Christian beliefs with our professionalism. greatly determines their approach to marriage. If God is God then your approach toward your marriage is more about serving your spouse and less about yourself. If you believe God is God, then you understand that this life is temporary and that God is more concerned with your obedience and faithfulness than your happiness. Obstacles and challenges are met with prayer and fasting rather than pointed fingers. Personal responsibility and ownership in conflicts are common place, allowing the couple to resolve conflicts without crippling effects. Also found in this marriage is Christian Counseling Services an understanding of commitment and faithfulness that the “world” cannot comprehend. Let us help you get your life back on track. Very few would ever come out and admit that they view themselves as god so let me describe the mentality I’m speaking of. Kyle Idleman in his book “Not a Fan” helps to describe the “I am Call today: 918.392.4008 4930 S. Sheridan Rd. god” mentality in the following wedding vows.
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F EBRUAR Y 2014