Colour Issue No. 8

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ISSUE NO. 8 DECEMBER 2019



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Letter from the Editor Hi, I’m OnYou. For those who are not familiar with Colour, we are a magazine created by students at Washington University in St. Louis. Colour aims to highlight the narratives of students of color and the local community of color. We strive to provide opportunities for people of color to have our voice heard and tell our stories. My vision for Colour is for it to serve as a learning opportunity for people who have not heard enough about lives of people of color. This is not meant to be just for the White folks, but also for people of color who do not know much about stories of other people of color outside of their races. Hope you enjoy.

Sincerely, OnYou Kang Editor-in-Chief Colour


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Content


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10

La Vie en Bleu

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Betrayal in Gold

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Genesis

26

Look at Me

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Fuji’s Eyes

36

Water/Color

38

Joyous Excess

44

When Thrown Against a White Background

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Surrealities

54

School to Prison Pipeline

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GOCRAZYAHHHHHHGOSTUPID

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Five Little Letters


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THE TEAM

The Team


THE TEAM

Editor in Chief Co-Editor in Chief Treasurer

OnYou Kang Bersabeh Zenebe Jelani Deajon-Jackson

Events Director

Rob Hall

Social Media Director

Rob Hall

Senior Designer

Brandon Wilburn

Senior Photographer

Brandon Wilburn

Senior Editor Content Creators

Saima Choudhury Colleen Avila Tyler Burston Saima Choudhury Galen Hicks Genesis McCree OnYou Kang Ahmed Motiwala Thomas No Rachel Paulk Josie Robinson

Designers

OnYou Kang Andriana Levytsky Jinny Park Kristina You Bersabeh Zenebe

Social Media Team

Tinuola Adebukola Lianne Kang

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THE TEAM

Colleen Avila Content Creator

Tyler Burston Content Creator

Saima Choudhury Senior Editor

Jelani Deajon-Jackson Treasurer

Rob Hall Events/Social Director

Galen Hicks Content Creator

Lianne Kang Social Media Designer

OnYou Kang Editor in Chief

Andriana Levytsky Designer


THE TEAM

Genesis McCree Content Creator

Ahmed Motiwala Content Creator

Thomas No Senior Editor

Jinny Park Designer

Rachel Paulk Content Creator

Josie Robinson Content Creator

Brandon Wilburn Senior Designer

Kristina You Designer

Bersabeh Zenebe Co-Editor in Chief

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LA VIE EN BLEU

Kristina You

Blue has always been my favorite color. I love the different meanings that blue holds in different cultures and at different points of history. Whether it means feeling down or symbolizes royalty and rarity, the word and color hold such sentimental potential. These photos are my visual representation of “life in blue�. (Lyrics written by King Krule)


LA VIE EN BLEU

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LA VIE EN BLEU


BETRAYAL COMES IN LA GOLD VIE EN BLEU

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LA VIE EN BLEU


LA VIE EN BLEU

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BETRAYAL COMES IN GOLD

Betrayal Comes In Gold Saima Choudhury

I love looking at old pictures of my mom. Even when

Rewind eight years, and I’m in eighth grade, sitting

she was supposed to look like an awkward teenager,

in class at a table of white girls. “Ugh, my arms are

like I did at the same age, she always looked

so hairy. It’s like I have Indian arms,” one of the

elegantly beautiful. One of my favorite pictures is

aforementioned white girls proclaims in disgust. While

from her wedding day. She was nineteen and, of

I am not Indian, I assume this white girl is most likely

course, stunning. She’s looking off to the side with

generalizing all South Asians as Indian (as many

a glass bottle of Coca-Cola in her hand, smiling

people do) and look down at my brown, hairy arms.

radiantly. And like most South Asian brides on their

When I got home from school that day, I shaved my

wedding days, she’s fully adorned in gold jewelry,

arms for the first and last time. This was just one

including a nose ring attached to a chain tucked

instance of young Saima unsuccessfully trying to

behind her ear.

whitewash her brownness away. I didn’t think about the fact that my hairy arms and legs came with thick,

I am unequivocally of the opinion that Eurocentric

dark eyelashes and long, curly hair. All I could think

beauty standards belong in the garbage. I try to

about were “Indian arms” and how undesirable they

convince my younger sister she doesn’t need to

seemed.

pluck her eyebrows to “fix the shape,’’ as she puts it, I love how unapologetically brown my skin gets

If you had asked me a few years ago why I wouldn’t

after a long summer day, and I am definitely not into

get my nose pierced, I probably would have said

the blond hair, blue eyes look. I know that unfair and

something silly about looking like a FOB (fresh off

lovely aren’t mutually exclusive and that I should

the boat) or being too stereotypically brown. Now if

take pride in my cultural heritage, but I still can’t

you were to ask me, I would say it’s because it would

bring myself to get a nose ring.

be a betrayal to the women who came before me.


BETRAYAL COMES IN GOLD

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“Now if you were to ask me, I would say it’s because it would be a betrayal to the women who came before me.” Illustration by Bersabeh Zenebe


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BETRAYAL COMES IN GOLD

Women like my mom, who uprooted herself to a

now would be to toss the women of my heritage

foreign country where the soil doesn’t weep for her

aside and declare Becky my vanilla queen.

the way it did in Bangladesh to create a space for herself and four daughters. Or like the unnamed

White women hijacking my culture and the culture of

garment worker in Dhaka whose bloodis woven into

other communities of color is nothing new. Intricate

my H&M pants.

mehendi (henna) designs and holud (turmeric) face

masks, once treasured relics of my South Asian

Or like Begum Rokeya and Sufia Kamal, Bangladeshi

upbringing, are now commonplace among white

activists whose writings, despite never appearing in

women. At this point it’s just a waiting game, trying

that one chapter on white feminism in elementary

to predict what they will deem fashionable and

school, were revolutionary for their time and for the

devour next. Personally, I hope it’s smelling like Indian

modern day.

food, so “Smells Like Curry” can be more than just an ironic name for my Spotify playlist of Desi songs.

Those women weren’t enough for me, but once Becky— with the Birkenstocks and the Instagram posts of her and her skinny white Becky friends at Coachella wearing matching flower crowns— got a nose ring, nose rings became cool. Once white women, the stewards of societal beauty standards, decided that nose rings were “in”, nose rings became edgy and desirable rather than foreign and weird. Nose rings went from a mark of otherness to a way to keep up with trends. To wear a nose ring


BETRAYAL COMES IN GOLD

“Women like my mom, who uprooted herself to a foreign country where the soil doesn’t weep for her the way it did in Bangladesh to create a space for herself and four daughters.”

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GENESIS

GENESIS Josie Robinson

Hot to touch, these hands could grasp Entire lives within them Sometimes I squeezed too tightly And they’d melt through my fingers I’m sorry for all the puddles I’ve had to leave behind me


GENESIS

Sinfully sugary, You can taste every grain Something so satisfying Comes from feeling gentle progress. Fracturing a Masochist’s teeth, Some are left with bloody gums.

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GENESIS

All sprung from Eden’s roots, The garden blooms dense in hues. Hot winds blow dust and ash; Hold fast, siblings. Feel our earth. The monster, posing as Messiah, Waits with closed eyes and Fist raised.


GENESIS

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GENESIS

I have found a lacquered chest Poking out above the dirt With the lock defunct and stale, I look inside and see a tongue But it is only a newborn; It’s too weak to Lift my words.

One’s body is their trade, With blood as ink and skin like clay. Words are tools through which we form; Chiseled by grief, smoothed by love. Fear the hand of the consumer With full pockets and starved heart


GENESIS

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LOOK AT ME

Genesis McCree

who am i?

i’m walking to class. walking in my dorm.

a question that sparks too much thinking.

walking to get food.

a question that brings doubt to your lessening

just walking.

confidence.

why do i feel like i need to justify my place?

i really thought i knew what i wanted in life.

why do you look at me like that?

i really did.

a look of questioning

i thought that life couldn’t get any harder than it already was.

as if i don’t belong as if i am not capable of being here

new place

no, i am not here for a check in the diversity

new me

box

new problems

no, i am not here for a check in the first gen box

you would think that being here would help. a school that promotes its diversity and

no, i belong

inclusion you would think that since it’s 2019, life

so look at me

would be different.

look at me as your equal

weren’t we all born in the same period?

i am not here to bring you down

a time where a person isn’t judged by the color

i am not here to hinder your growth

of their skin

so don’t hinder me

or the person they love

don’t look at me with that doubt

you would think it would be easy.

look at me


Illustration by Jinny Park


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CYCLE OF ABUSE AND FORGIVENESS


FUJI’S EYES

FUJI’S EYES

Ahmed Motiwala

Disposable cameras are discarded after use, forgotten in the past, but the fruits of their labor are long lived. During the summer after high school graduation, I wanted to document the important transitional period of me and my friends between high school and college, the beginning of the rest of our lives. These photos depict stories that will remain in the past, but the memories will live on long after our stories are done, just like the camera used to take them.

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WATER/COLOR

Water/Color Colleen Avila

I have submerged myself in parts of a me that I

the light arm hair, from the name brands, the ability

both know entirely and know not at all. I am me at

to have sleepovers, rewards for straight A’s, boys

home, me at school, me everywhere and nowhere,

who have crushes on you, being picked up by your

me perhaps only when I reflect on the fact that I

parents from soccer practice on time. So I escape

am everywhere and nowhere at once. But I always

into queerness.

know where. I sink into a lavender sea and I breathe water At home, I am brown against the world.

into my lungs, filling myself with the weight of groundedness and anxiousness. But how worth it

I grow up white. Growing up around so many white

it was to drown in solidarity, in a sort of pride that

people, it was hard not to. An innocent egocentrism

was rebellious against all else… there, we were

told me, “this is how everyone lives; you are no

all different; I ignore the blondeness out of self-

different from the rest of them.” I believed it for

preservation and relish in our us against the world.

so long, my only preoccupation my skills and my studies, an obsession with being better than the rest

At school, I am warm.

that would taunt me in my adolescent awkwardness. Then, no longer could I think of myself as smarter,

I look at pictures of my own birthday party and

more athletic, more artistic, better than the rest. I

smile. A frozen instant of pure brown joy, the

was not like them, and in the worst possible way. I

stillness of a pond and the chaos of a river. It washes

was ugly. I was undesirable. And the realization

over me. The search is no longer for well-behaved

was irreconcilable.

white people, digging through or gritting my teeth at supposed social liberality and fiscal conservatism.

At home, I am tinged lavendar. Here, I am intoxicated with affirmation and I crave solidarity. To exist in white spaces is

perpetually where I need to be, constantly enveloped

exhausting. I am drained from the blondness, from

in a warm mist that glimmers and obscures. My


Illustration by Colleen Avila

fingers are pruny with validtion.

endless stream which passes over all and never quite stays in one place long enough to become one

In know where, I am water.

with the rocks and trees.

I am where I am, flowing and fitting, clear and

I only hope that I am loved by them; I only hope that

colored at once. I’m not yet sure which one is

I nourish and am nourished, stained in my moment,

actually me. (If either of them are, if neither of them

and at every moment overflowing.

are). Maybe I was meant to be water forever, an


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JOYOUS EXCESS

J OYO U S

EXCESS

Wealth has transformative power, especially for those who find themselves otherwise marginalized. This shoot is an exploration of black and brown wealth and the sense of liberation that it often fosters. This is for those who revel in their joyous excess.

DIRECTION & PHOTOGRAPHY

MODELS

Rachel Paulk

Abayomi Awoyomi

Sara del Carmen Camacho

Mikayla Bridges

Kennedy Morganfield

Brianna Chandler

Aneesh Syal


JOYOUS EXCESS



JOYOUS EXCESS

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JOYOUS EXCESS



When Thrown Against a White Background Tyler Burston

This my fifth year out.

At first, everyone acts like going to a PWI is a blessing.

were, and alternatively, who the “financial aid” kids

Everyone talks about how good of an opportunity it

were. The black and brown kids at my school were

is, how you’ll be able to do things other black people

obviously the “diversity hires”. We were the students

aren’t allowed to do, and “network” with all these

from more “dangerous” neighborhoods than our

imagined rich and successful (and white) people. As a

peers, the ones who wouldn’t be there without the

rising 9th grader I bought into the hype, excited to go to

endowment money.

Downtown Manhattan everyday and be in a place with more resources than I ever imagine. More than I could

My transition into my first PWI was disorienting, mainly

ever use.

because it was up to me to figure out exactly what was going on, and then quickly learn how to adjust to

Going to a PWI is a blessing. My white, flagrantly rich

it. I learned that there’s a specific culture surrounding

private high school made me into who I am, gave me

rich NYC private school kids, one that’s as toxic as it

privileges I enjoyed and didn’t deserve. I got my “good”

is opulent. When you fall deep enough into culture,

education, my college preparation, my leg up in the

it’s easy to put a suffocating amount of value on the

game. All of that is expected though, and no one tells

multimillion dollar apartments, expensive clothes,

you about the more destructive aspects. The isolation

expensive drugs, and fake social capital.

that becomes immediately apparent once you learn to make a white space home. My school was incredibly

I knew from the jump that I couldn’t assimilate. I had

small, meaning that the social and economic divisions

entered the game too late and knew too much about

in the school were very apparent. It was easy to see

myself and the world to buy into the materialism

who the kids of investment bankers and affluent artists

and elitism around me. I paid too much attention to


the violence that I caused. I thought too critically of everything. I was too black, too leftist, and too vocal to exist comfortably in the space that I was in. Ironically though, in many ways it was the education and isolation that I received that made me all those things. Being thrown against the white background radicalized me politically, and my classes gave me a historical knowledge that helped to form my convictions. I’m wholeheartedly a product of the system: privileged enough to question my own privilege. That’s why part of me feels weird complaining about PWIs. It’s disingenuous for me to act as if I was somehow fooled into entering this land of milk, honey, and poison. I can’t say that I would go back and change anything. It’s almost second nature for me to explain the harm that PWIs do on a surface level. Of course it leaves black and brown kids isolated. Of course it reinforces classism. Of course we faced discrimination, disrespect, and tokenization. Such is the obvious rite of passage for us students who exist on the periphery.

Illustration by

Less obvious though, was how deep that harm actually

Bersabeh Zenebe


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WHEN THROWN AGAINST A WHITE BACKGROUND

“I WAS TOO BLACK, TOO LEFTIST, AND manifested itself in me. It’s taken me awhile to realize

accept that I am a disruption. I’m not doing too much

that a lot of the troubles I deal with were a product

by deconstructing this dark, corrupt, complicated,

of my high school experience. My self-image has a

and occasionally beautiful space. I can better identify

lot of healing to do, and I’m learning that my double

when these white spaces hurt me and reconcile that

consciousness may have had a lot of influence on it.

pain with the knowledge that I’m not deserving of it.

I had to understand myself as the zealous liberal, the

I can acknowledge false authority and arbitrary ideas

one playing the race card, the one that was too black to

of power. I can identify toxic ideas and toxic cultures

be comforting but not black enough to be cool. The one

better. I can do a better job of serving myself, keeping

who talked too much. I spent a lot of high school truly

my heart intact enough to take this education, as

thinking that something was wrong with me, and maybe

guarded as it is, and bring it to the world.

in the eyes of some of my classmates, there was. My self-assessment was influenced by the thoughts of

It’s my fifth year out, and I expect more to come. I

those who just didn’t understand, and I occasionally

grow with every struggle I have with this blessing, this

held the rich, white, prestigious lens as my own.

blessing that in many ways shouldn’t be a blessing.

My experience with these lenses has me approaching

One that exists as a product of the system that it

Wash U like a veteran. I’ve had the privilege of

taught me to tear down. I’ve been learning to wrestle

previously wrestling with environments like these,

with contradiction. My existence here inherently

and I’m hopefully wise enough to see past the smoke

contradicts something.

and mirrors. In my fifth year I know that comfort in a space not designed for you is hard to achieve. I don’t even necessarily want it anymore. I am more willing to


WHEN THROWN AGAINST A WHITE BACKGROUND

TOO VOCAL TO EXIST COMFORTABLY IN THE SPACE THAT I WAS IN.”

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SURREALITIES

Surrealities Galen Hicks

Dreamlike scenes created by camera, pen and computer.


SURREALITIES

manipulated photograph

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SURREALITIES

digital drawing


SURREALITIES

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water color & colored pencil


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SURREALITIES

acrylic


SURREALITIES

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manipulated photograph


SCHOOL TO PRISON PIPELINE

School to Prison Pipeline

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OnYou Kang School-to-prison pipeline is a tendency of disadvantaged students getting funneled out of the public school system into the juvenile justice system. Such tendency, which is largely because of increasingly harsh school disciplinary policies, victimizes primarily Black students and it starts as early as preschool—48 percent of students who have been suspended more than once in preschool are Black. Black students are three times more likely to be suspended compared to the White students, and the list goes on (Hasty, 2017). Based on the statistics, it is hard not to say that the school-to-prison pipeline is independent of the race. The 13th amendment guarantees the freedom to all American citizens, but there was one exception: criminals. This exception is a loophole of the 13th amendment and has been exploited as a tool for keeping Black people from freedom by starting to arrest Black people for small crimes right after the bill was passed. From then until now, White people constantly built the image of Black people as savages and criminals, which established stereotypes and prejudice against Black people (DuVernay, 2016). As drug-related crimes immensely increase in the lase 80s, zero-tolerance policy and ostensibly “color blind” mandatory sentencing policies were introduced in the 90s, which made it possible for people to get a life sentence or the death penalty for drug-related crimes (Nelson, Palonsky, McCarthy, & Noddings, 2017). Over time, it was proven that the zero-tolerance


SCHOOL TO PRISON PIPELINE

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policy and mandatory sentencing policies exacerbate

of color. Police officers also have a reputation for their

the racial justice system and are ineffective in decreas-

divergent attitude towards people of different races—

ing the crime rate. Yet, the same structure is applied to

how police treat civilians are not independent of race,

the disciplinary policy at almost all school districts.

gender, class, and other socioeconomic factors (Shedd, 2015). When police officers with such bias are bought

Why students of color are more likely to get harsher

into schools, they do not create as safe of an environ-

punishments compared to White students (Nelson et al.

ment as the educators wished them to. Misbehaviors

2017) can be explained with the matrix of domination.

that used to be handled by schools are criminalized that

Students of color are occasionally suspended for “loud”,

schools with police have 5 times more arrests for disor-

“disrespectful”, or “defiant”, which all are very subjec-

derly conduct compared to the schools without police

tive terms. According to Nelson et al. (2017), teachers

(Hasty, 2017; Nelson et al. 2017).

and administrators are as susceptible to stereotypes of people of color as the rest of the population. These

To cut the tendency of the school-to-prison pipeline,

stereotypes can lead educators to view students of

educators need to take a genuine interest in the whole

color as more threatening or dangerous compared

student and should not be too quick to discipline. They

to White students. As the teachers become fearful,

should be mindful of the predictions that they make

and when fear intersects with racial stereotypes, the

and need to have better understandings of different

result is often removal of the student of color from

cultures and backgrounds. Overall, defying the matrix

the class and then suspension. Students who are

of domination by providing equal opportunities for ed-

suspended—whether if it is a in-school suspension or

ucation and creating an environment that supports all

out-of-school suspension does not make a big differ-

the students would prevent incarceration for many stu-

ence according to the lecture on October 31, 2019

dents and put an end to the school-to-prison pipeline.

by Dr. Jason Jabbari—are more likely to walk down the path of academic failure and has higher chance of not graduating high school, which immensely increases the students’ chance of incarceration either as juvenile or later as adults—high school drop-outs has 8 times higher chance of ending up in jail or prison. Educators are not the only ones who are biased against students

13Th. (2016). Retrieved from http://www.netflix.com/watch/80091741?trackId=13752289 How Schools Are Funneling Certain Students Into The Prison System. (2017). Retrieved from https://www. youtube.com/watch?v=O9Wyc85x38o Jabbari and Johnson (2019). The Collateral Damage of In-School Suspensions: A Counterfactual Analysis of High-Suspension Schools, Math Achievement and College Attendance. Unpublished Manuscript. Nelson, J. L., Palonsky, S. B., McCarthy, M. R., & Noddings, N. (2017). Critical issues in education: dialogues and dialectics. Long Grove, IL: Waveland Press. Shedd, C. L.-M. (2015). Unequal city: race, schools, and perceptions of injustice. New York: Russell Sage Foundation.


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CYCLE OF ABUSE AND FORGIVENESS

GOCRAZYAHHHHHHGOSTUPID


FUJI’S EYES

It’s fucking cold. My knuckles are really dry, but they feel good to rub especially along my lips. I wonder when they’ll crack and bleed. Sometimes, when I’m rubbing them on my lips I’ll push really hard so that the pressure builds up in bet between my teeth and the only thing that comes in between is my lip. I also think it’s crazy that teeth are so hard. Supposedly I can bite into myself like a carrot if I wanted to.

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CYCLE OF ABUSE AND FORGIVENESS

Hedonistic stupidity? Indulgent idiocy... I’m just tryna think of examples like that. Like pranks? Or like dumb bits? Like talking in the library when everyone else is quiet? Naw that feels kinda rude. I guess it’s just the shit youtubers do huh? Or like... before them, rockstars. Fuck idk.


The other day I was making FUJI’S EYES 2 great. going pasta, and it was I cooked some onions then garlic and added the pasta, put in some pasta water and butter. I bought the four cheese sauce from Trader Joe’s. I opened that shit and it had mold in it.

I emptied out half of the jar and used the bottom half. I’m not even tryna save money or anything. I really just wanted to risk having stomach pain. So far nothing has come out of it which is the optimal outcome: all of the risk, none of the pain.


CYCLE OF ABUSE AND FORGIVENESS

When I go to pee, I always get this warm pleasureable shiver along my spine. That’s one of my favorite feelings. I feel like each individual red blood cell is receiving a nice hug.


FUJI’S EYES

FUJI’S EYES

By Ahmed Motiwala

I’m starting to slowly creep back to my sad tendencies. I don’t know... it feels good to be sad. I don’t really feel things most of the time, like when I laugh or smile it’s something I do every day so the actual feeling of happiness isn’t there because my threshold of happiness platues, slowly d going down and down until I just smile without feeling anything at all. Being sad recalibrates that threshold of happiness.


CYCLE OF ABUSE AND FORGIVENESS

Every day I wake up and tell myself that I’m stupid. It kinda makes me want to prove myself wrong. It’s counterintuitive, but at least when I have really dumb moments I can say that I was right all along. Then I won’t feel as stupid.


FUJI’S EYES

THOMAS NO


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FIVE LITTLE LETTERS

five little letters Ahmed Motiwala

the only things that truly belong to me are five little letters that my grandfather bestowed upon me before he passed ahmed [eh-mud] part of speech: noun language of origin: Arabic alternate spellings: ahmad, ahmet translation: “one who constantly thanks God” this was the first gift i received on this earth and the last gift my grandfather gave before the Hereafter but i am sad to say i have never wanted to return a gift more than this one…


Five little letters

Illustration by Andriana Levytsky


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FIVE LITTLE LETTERS

i grew up in a no man’s land of social identity where there was always a palpable air of exclusion, an atmosphere of cultural isolation where no one had even heard of the land that my heart bleeds for, that my bones ache for where the scions of colonizers washed my acidic name down with honey so that i was easier to digest, quietly consumed the colonial tongues could not wrap themselves around, their throats could not bring themselves to sing the song that is my name i have heard every variation, every nuance in emphasis, changes in “ahs” to “ehs” from the “meds” to the “muds” but it was no use, i was an anomaly so eventually, i stopped correcting them because to be what they wanted was easier than to be what i really was at some instance in time, i sincerely did not care anymore i began introducing myself as the epithet that they had branded into my back burned into my bare skin so that i would never forget who and what i belonged to


FIVE LITTLE LETTERS

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ahmed did not mean anything to me i was desensitized to the anglicization of my own name they had colonized my mind just as they had my ancestors’ land i was just an intruder on foreign soil and intruders suffer repercussions if this were my punishment, i should have been thankful ahmed is shattered glass a shard of the mirror that reflects who i am spattered and stained with the blood of my people from invasive imperialism and enslavement to the war crimes committed against them i had grinded down the sharp pieces to dust so that they may have been more easily swept into the trash but i have come to realize that ahmed is so much more than just glass ahmed is the soft green peaks and valleys of Murree in the north ahmed is the name of not one, not two, but of three Ottoman sultans ahmed is the thunderous ovation of dhol drums that echo through the frigid night ahmed is the sweet words of iqbal and faiz that inspired the rebels of the Partition ahmed is the cries of millions of tyrannized Kashmiris whose tears burn hot, as hot as the blood pumping through me to mend a broken nation ahmed is the one who constantly thanks God and now i understand why this name belongs to me i thank God for everything he has blessed me with i thank God for giving me thick skin and a soft heart i thank God for a second tongue, a second perspective, and a second home i thank God for the cawing of crows and the humming of rickshaws that lulled me to sleep as a child i thank God for the sweet mangoes that fell from the trees in Nani’s backyard, quenching my thirst when i was parched i thank God for a hand and a pen to write this all down with and i thank God for the greatest gift given to me by someone i love but have never met‌




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